Jeff Bezos, Other Corporate Executives Sold Off Their Own Company's Stock Just Before Chinese Flu Panic

Lucky duckies.

None of this is necessarily illegal or even unethical. They have a right to sell their own companies' shares, and they can have hunches about stock values like anyone else. It's only the use of nonpublic information for informing stock moves that's illegal.

Still, there might be come collusion here, and the American people must know the truth. I suggest three years of Congressional and Special Prosecutor investigations.

What does Jeff Bezos have to hide?


Top executives at U.S.-traded companies sold a total of roughly $9.2 billion in shares of their own companies between the start of February and the end of last week, a Wall Street Journal analysis shows.

The selling saved the executives--including many in the financial industry--potential losses totaling $1.9 billion, according to the analysis, as the S&P 500 stock index plunged about 30% from its peak on Feb. 19 through the close of trading March 20.

...

By far the largest executive seller was Amazon. AMZN +0.16% com Inc. Chief Executive Jeffrey Bezos, who sold a total of $3.4 billion in Amazon AMZN 0.23% shares in the first week of February, shortly before the stock market peaked, allowing him to avoid paper losses of roughly $317 million if he had held the stock through March 20, according to the Journal analysis.


The sales represented roughly 3% of Mr. Bezos's Amazon holdings, according to the most recently available regulatory filings. He sold almost as much stock during the first week in February as he sold during the previous 12 months.

Amazon didn't immediately provide a comment on behalf of Mr. Bezos.

Meanwhile, the SEC has issued a warning about insider trading after four Senators were accused of selling stocks based on nonpublic information.

The Securities and Exchange Commission issued a sharp warning against trading on nonpublic information related to the coronavirus.

The caution came days after news of recent stock sales by the CEO of the owner of the New York Stock Exchange, Jeff Sprecher, and his wife, Sen. Kelly Loeffler, R-Ga., sparked widespread criticism and calls for investigations.

In addition to Loeffler's move, recently disclosed stock sales by three other senators, Richard Burr (R-NC), James Inhoffe (R-OK) and Diane Feinstein (D-CA) have come under scrutiny because they occurred after the coronavirus briefing.

Those trades came in the weeks before stock market indexes dramatically fell in value due to the coronavirus pandemic, and on the heels of a private, all-senators briefing on the virus outbreak from Trump administration officials that Loeffler attended on Jan. 24.

In related news: Doug Collins is running against the NeverTrump RINO Kelly Loeffler to be the elected Georgia Senator, and he hasn't sold any stocks based on nonpublic government information.

Here's Kelly Loeffler babbling gibberish to Tucker Carlson's questions.

More from the Daily Caller.

Corrected: I had earlier written "Doug Jones," the Democrat Senator in Alabama, instead of Doug Collins, the Republican representative running to be the Republican nominee for Senator in Georgia.

Posted by: Ace at 02:30 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 st

Posted by: RUReadingthis at March 24, 2020 02:29 PM (RzLGh)

2 and Martha went to jail

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:29 PM (vEIlU)

3
And Epstein didn't kill himself

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:30 PM (vEIlU)

4 If Tank runs for Senate Id still vote for Kelly.

Posted by: Regular joe at March 24, 2020 02:31 PM (6/uwW)

5 " Doug Jones is running against the RINO Kelly Loeffler to be the elected Georgia Senator, and he hasn't sold any stocks based on nonpublic government information."

Wait, what? Jones is Alabama, Loeffler Georgia. Did you mean she's running against Doug Collins?

Posted by: Trump poisoned my cats at March 24, 2020 02:31 PM (puu6v)

6 $384.6 Billion GDP/ week = $20 Trillion/52 week

Or 4 weeks lost/ 52 weeks/yr= 7.69% of Annual GDP

384.6*4= 1,538.4
20 * .0769 = 1,538

But not everything was stopped so discount 25%;
1538*.75= $1,153.5 Billion or 5.7% hit to the GDP.

Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:31 PM (CLteG)

7 Ace, I think it's Doug Collins running against Kelly. Doug Jones is that doofus from Alabama.

Posted by: abbynormal at March 24, 2020 02:31 PM (I849g)

8 not first

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:32 PM (zZbCU)

9 Incidentally, I would vote even for Doug Jones before Kelly Loeffler, even if it gave Georgia three Senators.

Posted by: Trump poisoned my cats at March 24, 2020 02:32 PM (puu6v)

10 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge at March 24, 2020 02:32 PM (Zz0t1)

11 Yeah, but February was the time you could see shit might get a bit crazy. Not sure this is insider shit or just people being cautious.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:32 PM (QrImU)

12 Obligatory:

https://youtu.be/L3tnH4FGbd0

Posted by: Sponge at March 24, 2020 02:32 PM (Zz0t1)

13 Wait, what? Jones is Alabama, Loeffler Georgia. Did you mean she's running against Doug Collins?
Posted by: Trump poisoned my cats at March 24, 2020 02:31 PM (puu6v)

Doug Jones would love to be running against Loeffler. He's not that lucky, though.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at March 24, 2020 02:32 PM (iuFgi)

14 Rope. Lamp posts. Some assembly required.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM (KxVoZ)

15 Is Bezos still selling off stocks to pay for his divorce?

Because that would explain a lot.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM (mf5HN)

16 384.6 Billion GDP/ week = $20 Trillion/52 week

Or 4 weeks lost/ 52 weeks/yr= 7.69% of Annual GDP

384.6*4= 1,538.4
20 * .0769 = 1,538

But not everything was stopped so discount 25%;
1538*.75= $1,153.5 Billion or 5.7% hit to the GDP.
Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:31 PM (CLteG)


I'm going to point out that this shit looks suspiciously like math.
Care to explain? Not the math, the rationale for tormenting us so.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM (z79tQ)

17 #6
Okay, who let the math major in here.
/s

Posted by: Winston a dreg of society at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM (TYQsd)

18 Warnings for me, but jail for thee.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM (SENHs)

19 Doug Collins, Doug jones
A Doug is A Doug

Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM (CLteG)

20 Doug Collins. Doug Jones is the Democrat Senator from Alabama.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM (ZLI7S)

21 Willowed:

Posted by: SloPitch Whiffer at March 24, 2020 02:18 PM (TXOkZ)

On Kindle so tough to look: does it show a low infection rate there? Definitely not hearing much about cases there, and everyone assumed they'd be overrun quickly since their facilities aren't up to *normal* stuff (loads of refugee camps don't help either). I've heard of a couple cases in Kenya, but they may have been visitors not natives.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM (uquGJ)

22 Remember the harsh punishments dishes out to Jon Corzine for literally stealing 600 million to 2 billion dollars?

Posted by: it begins... at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM (MRjKr)

23


By the first week of February, it was obvious that supply chains would be disrupted. Obviously Bezos might have had non-public info to that effect, but it wasn't a mystery that shit was getting squirrely in China by the end of January.

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM (SFOr6)

24 Snake Juice guy reminds me of Roddy Piper (also Canadian) , but with more f-bombs.

Posted by: goodluckduck at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM (V8zw+)

25 meh. they're Ds. they plead Nolo Contendere (latin for "I didn't do it, and I promise not to do it again"). decline to prosecute. prosecutorial discretion.


pick one.

Posted by: WaldoTJ at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM (zlkHv)

26 This is new Doug. Not old Doug.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM (SENHs)

27 Come collusion?

Schiff's ears perk up.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM (KnJdm)

28 Wait, the Dow's back up over 20k? And is up well over a thousand points today?

Why am I not getting news alerts about that, I don't wonder at all.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM (mf5HN)

29 Is Bezos still selling off stocks to pay for his divorce?

Because that would explain a lot.
Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM


Ulterior reasons for acting is no excuse for NOT hauling his ass in front of a wall, er, SEC panel to explain himself.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM (z79tQ)

30 The government was also lying to us about masks being ineffective in February. They knew what was coming.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 02:35 PM (KxVoZ)

31

But not everything was stopped so discount 25%;
1538*.75= $1,153.5 Billion or 5.7% hit to the GDP.
Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:31 PM (CLteG)


I'm going to point out that this shit looks suspiciously like math.
Care to explain? Not the math, the rationale for tormenting us so.
Posted by: OneEyedJack


Oh, shit, who let the CPA in?

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 02:35 PM (SFOr6)

32 Bezos got a two-fer, didn't he?

Selling shares before the information he had became public, and then profiting off on-lines sales because his WaPo among others had panicked people into staying home.

Posted by: Trump poisoned my cats at March 24, 2020 02:35 PM (puu6v)

33 Doug Collins, Doug jones
A Doug is A Doug
Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM


"Our Doug is a white."

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 24, 2020 02:35 PM (ejd/p)

34 I would think Amazon stock should be going way UP in value right now, because everyone is ordering off Amazon because they're staying home. Jeff Bezos's stock value should be rising, at least in comparison to other companies.

I haven't check Amazon's stock prices over the last month (as compared to the general Dow), so I don't know for sure. But I'd wager this crisis leaves Amazon stronger than ever. Society will move more and more to online shopping, where Amazon dominates.

Posted by: zombie at March 24, 2020 02:36 PM (N9G0H)

35 2 Americas.

Posted by: Fortcoins at March 24, 2020 02:36 PM (JbL9Q)

36 That's why these guys are rich and the ones yakking on CNBC are not.

Posted by: Roy at March 24, 2020 02:36 PM (ABjxW)

37 @MichaelCBender

Gallup: Trump's approval back to 49%, up from 44% earlier this month and matching the highest rating of his presidency; 60% approve of his handling of coronavirus, 38% disapprove.

Posted by: Tami at March 24, 2020 02:36 PM (cF8AT)

38 Hey, I didn't sell that stock because of corona virus, I sold because I'm screwing a gold-digging 'ho who wants to live in huge mansions and shop in haute-couture stores 24/7!

Posted by: Jeff Bezos at March 24, 2020 02:36 PM (k4dH2)

39 I'm sure they'll investigate this thoroughly and find no intent. My understanding is that intent is something that only blue-collar folks and black people have.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at March 24, 2020 02:36 PM (H5knJ)

40 As soon as all of Wuhan went into quarantine, it was obvious supply chains were fucked.

Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:37 PM (CLteG)

41


Ace:

It's Doug COLLINS running against Loefler.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 24, 2020 02:37 PM (pS94+)

42 If I wasn't worried about still having a job tomorrow, I'd invest in Zoom. A lot of people who started using it now will stick with it. We've used it at work since it came out, and we switched from Skype.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 02:37 PM (KxVoZ)

43 "Our Doug is a white."
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 24, 2020 02:35 PM (ejd/p)


Well then, to avoid confusion we'll spell the white Doug as "Doug" and the other one as "D'oug".

Posted by: jwest at March 24, 2020 02:37 PM (mrrpT)

44 37 @MichaelCBender

Gallup: Trump's approval back to 49%, up from 44% earlier this month and matching the highest rating of his presidency; 60% approve of his handling of coronavirus, 38% disapprove.
Posted by: Tami at March 24, 2020 02:36 PM (cF8AT)

===========

Gosh, the media's in a bind about this.

How do they keep the hysteria going, but prevent Trump from looking good in the middle of it and convince America to shut down the economy while blaming it on Trump?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:37 PM (zZbCU)

45 This is one of those times when it would be handy to read the comments.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM (ZLI7S)

46 33
Doug Collins, Doug jones

A Doug is A Doug

Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM



"Our Doug is a white."

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 24, 2020 02:35 PM (ejd/p)

Does your Doug bite?

Posted by: Inspector Clouseau at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM (KnJdm)

47 Doesn't a CEO selling lots of company stock trigger an SEC alert?

Willowed

The man is repulsive. He undermines his wife and it's disgusting to see this display of disrespect.
Posted by: redridinghood at March 24, 2020 01:48 PM (wiXsO)


Am I the only person here who can't stand Kellyanne for her part in this soap opera? If I am that's fine but I don't want to hear any more shit about people admiring SHTRONG WIMMENZ and sticking up for this embarrassing doormat.

Posted by: Captain Hate at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM (y7DUB)

48 Doug Collins, Doug jones

A Doug is A Doug

Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:33 PM



"Our Doug is a white."

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 24, 2020 02:35 PM (ejd/p)

Does your Doug bite?

Posted by: Inspector Clouseau at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM


That is not my Doug.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM (ejd/p)

49 Bezos is just a savvy businessman. Just like Chankles was savvy with her cattle futures investments. Nothing to see here. Move along. These aren't the trades you're looking for...

Posted by: Archer at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM (gmo/4)

50 Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM (mf5HN)

Important news for me too. I have a couple major expenses coming up that will require liquidating some stocks and I *really* don't want to do so right now. Unfortunately, some of the payment times are set and I'll just have to make the best of it (and I realize that having not losing extra money as my main worry means my family is very blessed).

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM (uquGJ)

51 Trump's approval back to 49%,

It's always 49. Never 50. Funny how that works. What a coincidence that it's always 49.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM (KxVoZ)

52 Swing from the gallows until dead sounds like good punishment

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM (qQgfA)

53 Newsom now saying lockdown may go on for months - "we have to take extreme measures."

Wow, from sanctuary state to tyrannical lockdown/I must restrict your movement PDQ.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM (bDqIh)

54 "Doug Jones is running against nevertrump loeffler:
From Alabama? I hope not.please correct: i think u meant Doug Collins.

Posted by: jb at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM (T2wkl)

55 40 As soon as all of Wuhan went into quarantine, it was obvious supply chains were fucked.
Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:37 PM (CLteG)

I'd have to agree there. By the same token, the level of crazy has been hard to account for.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (QrImU)

56 15 Is Bezos still selling off stocks to pay for his divorce?

Because that would explain a lot.
_______________

No, Mackensie Bezos took his first offer, which was for $38 billion in Amazon stock.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (k4dH2)

57 NYC issues guidance on certain sex acts to stop the spread of coronavirus

-
No inhaling during oral sex?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (+y/Ru)

58 We need to reopen for business. Really soon.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (90T4r)

59 Doug Jones is running against the NeverTrump RINO Kelly Loeffler to be the elected Georgia Senator, and he hasn't sold any stocks based on nonpublic government information.

Posted by: Ace at 02:30 PM

Doug Jones? Don't you mean Doug Collins? Doug Jones is already a Senator in Alabama.

Posted by: Surfperch at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (tVQUs)

60 This is one of those times when it would be handy to read the comments.
Posted by: JackStraw

---

Whoa there JakeStraw - let's not overreact!

Posted by: Tonypete at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (Y4EXg)

61 32 Bezos got a two-fer, didn't he?

Selling shares before the information he had became public, and then profiting off on-lines sales because his WaPo among others had panicked people into staying home.
Posted by: Trump poisoned my cats at March 24, 2020 02:35 PM (puu6v

Sacrificing Bezos would be delicious.

Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (CLteG)

62 Kinda explains why this scandal died down so quick--too many Dems did the same

Posted by: RoyalOil, Vicroy Canadian Territories at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (vPKfA)

63 Or a cob could risk ace's wrath by correcting his post for him.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:40 PM (zZbCU)

64 Does your Doug bite?

Posted by: Inspector Clouseau at March 24, 2020 02:38 PM

We must find that Wuhan. (Places hand on spinning globe, falls.)

Posted by: Also Inspector Clouseau at March 24, 2020 02:40 PM (COzlW)

65 >>How do they keep the hysteria going, but prevent Trump from looking good in the middle of it and convince America to shut down the economy while blaming it on Trump?


"The media must stop covering Trump's Coronavirus Task Force daily briefings!!"
-- Jen Rubin and many of her colleagues

Posted by: Lizzy at March 24, 2020 02:40 PM (bDqIh)

66 No, Mackensie Bezos took his first offer, which was for $38 billion in Amazon stock.
Posted by: TrivialPursuer at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (k4dH2)

I think I could live on that.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (QrImU)

67 We must find that Wuhan. (Places hand on spinning globe, falls.)
Posted by: Also Inspector Clouseau at March 24, 2020 02:40 PM


*golf clap*

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (ejd/p)

68 63 Or a cob could risk ace's wrath by correcting his post for him.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:40 PM (zZbCU)

A Bridge Too Far.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (90T4r)

69 Due to (long, boring reason omitted) my work situation just went pear-shaped. Don't know what tomorrow or the next day might bring. Fk.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (KxVoZ)

70 Fuck Amazon. Last week the search for potatoes took hubbymayhem to Amazon. Their price for a 5pound bag of potatoes? $21 . Fuck Amazon sideways, with a potato fork.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (myjNJ)

71 If Bezos had insider info, that's illegal as hell.

If the Congresscritters used inside info, that's legal as hell. Congress exempted itself from insider trading laws.

Odds of anything happening to any of them...zero.

Posted by: naturalfake at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (z0XD8)

72 If I wasn't worried about still having a job tomorrow, I'd invest in Zoom. A lot of people who started using it now will stick with it. We've used it at work since it came out, and we switched from Skype.
Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 02:37 PM (KxVoZ)

Is it publicly traded? Ive been thinking about buying if possible.

Posted by: LASue at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (LaluL)

73

I wish CHOCOLATE was the cure for the Chinese Wuhan Virus.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (vEIlU)

74

Newsom now saying lockdown may go on for months - "we have to take extreme measures."

Wow, from sanctuary state to tyrannical lockdown/I must restrict your movement PDQ.
Posted by: Lizzy


Hey, you gotta keep your tax base around somehow, esp. once everyone realizes they can telecommute

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (SFOr6)

75 Ace Doug his own grave.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (COzlW)

76 No mention of the Dem rep and her staff that sold too?


Oh and bought stock in Clorox.

Posted by: Ha at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (fNWtj)

77 68 63 Or a cob could risk ace's wrath by correcting his post for him.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:40 PM (zZbCU)

A Bridge Too Far.
Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (90T4r)

28 Days Later.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (QrImU)

78 Ace:

It's Doug COLLINS running against Loefler.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 24, 2020 02:37 PM (pS94+)

I read that and thought to myself "How can Doug Jones run in Georgia?!" Then I saw who he meant.

Posted by: Tami at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (cF8AT)

79
Newsom now saying lockdown may go on for months - "we have to take extreme measures."



PDT might win California

Posted by: Wuhan Wang at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (PtOP4)

80 But not everything was stopped so discount 25%;
1538*.75= $1,153.5 Billion or 5.7% hit to the GDP.
Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:31 PM (CLteG)
----------------------------------------------------------------

Exactly. Add to that - I know my discretionary spending has been much higher than normal for gardening supplies, ammo, food, emergency equipment, etc. Probably representative of a lot of other folks/morons.

Government spending is also part of GDP and that for better or worse will be BIGLY higher.

Immediate hit on GDP has been exaggerated, I'm sure.

Posted by: theATL at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (TwFHr)

81 Did I just see TinyTim doing the signing for gov. Newsom?

Posted by: LArro at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (10GNe)

82 70 Fuck Amazon. Last week the search for potatoes took hubbymayhem to Amazon. Their price for a 5pound bag of potatoes? $21 . Fuck Amazon sideways, with a potato fork.
Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (myjNJ)

Amazon has produce stands???

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (90T4r)

83 If anyone wants Doug Jones, we're done with him. No charge. But you have to pick him up.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (SENHs)

84 It could innocent, or could be something something.

Posted by: runner at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (zr5Kq)

85 If I wasn't worried about still having a job tomorrow, I'd invest in Zoom. A lot of people who started using it now will stick with it. We've used it at work since it came out, and we switched from Skype.

yep

hubby using it every day now in his conference calls while working at home

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (vEIlU)

86


Let's not bicker and argue about who Doug who

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (3Hp/M)

87 Dog Collins was the lead singer of Scum of the Earth, iirc.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (KxVoZ)

88 78 Ace:

It's Doug COLLINS running against Loefler.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 24, 2020 02:37 PM (pS94+)

I read that and thought to myself "How can Doug Jones run in Georgia?!" Then I saw who he meant.
Posted by: Tami at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (cF8AT)

=========

To be honest, there are simply too many Dougs in America to keep track of.

I say we rid ourselves of a few.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (zZbCU)

89 Does Gary 'Aleppo' Johnson know where WuHan is?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (qQgfA)

90 He;s not my favorite guy, but this seems not all that out of line. Now if he'd sold 33%, that would be another thing. But I don't think it hard for a man in his global operation mode to have a LOT of input from his associates and suppliers in those parts of the World that were getting rocked before we were.
Had I been him, I would have done exactly the same. Stat.

Posted by: Dougf at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (9yO9P)

91 Oh and bought stock in Clorox.
Posted by: Ha at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (fNWtj)

Silly rabbit, she should have bought stock in Northern and Charmin.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (QrImU)

92 My local store had a pile of 5lb bags for $1.87.

Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (WrOkn)

93 Newsom now saying lockdown may go on for months - "we have to take extreme measures."

Wow, from sanctuary state to tyrannical lockdown/I must restrict your movement PDQ.
Posted by: Lizzy


Welcome to the Hotel California.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (SgjGX)

94 To be honest, there are simply too many Dougs in America to keep track of.

I say we rid ourselves of a few.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (zZbCU)

#DeporttheDougs

Posted by: Surfperch at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (tVQUs)

95 Charleston County, SC is now on lockdown.

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (DTX3h)

96 I'd have to agree there. By the same token, the level of crazy has been hard to account for.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (QrImU)

The crazy has been interesting. But something must be done about the media/DNC/ Foreign Players cabal.

Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (CLteG)

97 I'm listening to the audio of Tucker's interview with Loeffler. I don't want her to get elected as Senator - Doug Collins would be a much better choice. She's not terrible when she's on the spot, but she's not making the best case for herself either.

Regarding Burr, what he did wasn't insider trading. She should come out and say that, seeing that she knows better.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (iuFgi)

98 Forget it, he's rolling.

Posted by: rd at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (+0uDE)

99

If Bezos had insider info, that's illegal as hell.

If the Congresscritters used inside info, that's legal as hell. Congress exempted itself from insider trading laws.

Odds of anything happening to any of them...zero.

Posted by: naturalfake


No, this is not true. I learned something this week. On Twitter of all places.

In 2012, under Obama (SCOAMF!) in fact, the laws were changed to include congress members and staff in the insider trading statutes. Now it is a crime for House or Senate members or staff to insider trade.

Cannot believe it.

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (SFOr6)

100 Doug Collins should be an auctioneer.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (LWu6U)

101 73

I wish CHOCOLATE was the cure for the Chinese Wuhan Virus.
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:41 PM (vEIlU)


How do you know it's not? Best be safe and take over 2 grams.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (SENHs)

102 We have periodic no spuds or onions. I dunno.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (90T4r)

103 92 My local store had a pile of 5lb bags for $1.87.

5 pound bags of what?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (KxVoZ)

104 I don't see any reason not to go ahead and convict all the execs who sold their stocks.

After all, it's the seriousness of the allegation that counts.

My beach friends have all been pretty adamant about this.

Posted by: Furious George at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (9vQJW)

105 Amazon now has a service to deliver fresh produce, including meat, to your door in two hours or less. In some areas.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (qQgfA)

106 As an aspiring journalist, I hope that after everything gets back to normal all the factories now making hospital masks and ventilators will start 3D printing Tesla Model 3s.

Posted by: jwest at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (mrrpT)

107 Doug Collins should be an auctioneer.
Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM


His brother Tom is a mean mixologist.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (ejd/p)

108 "The media must stop covering Trump's Coronavirus Task Force daily briefings!!"
-- Jen Rubin and many of her colleagues
Posted by: Lizzy at March 24, 2020 02:40 PM (bDqIh)


THE PUBLIC IS CONFUSED!
PEOPLE ARE NOT GETTING ANY INFORMATION FROM THIS ADMINISTRATION!
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT TO DO, WHERE TO GO!

*daily briefings*

BLACK OUTS! BLACK OUTS! EVERYBODY, GO!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (vEIlU)

109 91
Oh and bought stock in Clorox.

Posted by: Ha at March 24, 2020 02:42 PM (fNWtj)



Silly rabbit, she should have bought stock in Northern and Charmin.



Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (QrImU)

who makes aquarium cleaner? Dow?

Posted by: Cannibal Blob at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (7ZMbn)

110 So Jeff got a call from his buddy, Bill, letting him know about the Beervirus Experiment 201 timing, and time to execute stage 1, selloff prior to the public panic.

Nobody is surprised, are they?

They live 15 minutes away from each other by Lake Washington speedboat.

And they probably shared a plane when they went to Davos.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (sy5kK)

111 Last time I worked with someone classified as an 'insider' in a major firm, they had to submit their notification to buy/sell 3 (or maybe 6) months in advance. The top brass would literally say that in 3 months, on June 15th, I will sell xxx shares. That's how they avoided any question.

That's the limit of my input to the discussion. Carry on.

Posted by: Tomic Dog at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (UYvk0)

112 Which Doug? The North Carolina or Alabama one?

Posted by: Winston at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (RyWXu)

113 Does Gary 'Aleppo' Johnson know where WuHan is?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (qQgfA)

I do not know where Mr. Han is, but I wish good health in these difficult times.

Posted by: Gary "Flaccid" Johnson at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (tVQUs)

114 How do you know it's not? Best be safe and take over 2 grams.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (SENHs)


True

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (vEIlU)

115 Still, there might be come collusion here, and the American people must know the truth. I suggest three years of Congressional and Special Prosecutor investigations.

--

Huh-uh. I want a Citizen Tribunal commissioned to look at the evidence and adjudicate accordingly. No power players hiding behind and being protected by each other in some obscene circle fest we aren't a part of.

Posted by: Lady in Black at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (JoUsr)

116 too many Dems did the same

Posted by: RoyalOil, Vicroy Canadian Territories at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (vPKfA)

They probably *all* did.

Fascinating that congresscritter became a lifetime job right about the time congress exempted themselves from following the laws they made. Should have resulted in a second Burning of Washington, but I guess they kept it secret long enough that now people feel that it's too late to take serious action. Point being, I think they *can't* go back to being "little people" because they've gotten used to behaving in ways that would send them to jail if they were "just folks".

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (uquGJ)

117
The crazy has been interesting. But something must be done about the media/DNC/ Foreign Players cabal.
Posted by: monkey at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (CLteG)

'Interesting' is one word. Kind of whistling past the graveyard interesting.

I get the feeling my grandfathers would have said: 'Quit being a pansy and get the hell back to work!'

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (QrImU)

118 105 Amazon now has a service to deliver fresh produce, including meat, to your door in two hours or less. In some areas.
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (qQgfA)

Oh. Not out here in the hinterlands of flyover country. We still have Mennonite bakeries and such.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (90T4r)

119 Why would Bezos sell? Amazon is so busy orders of non food or toilet paper is backed up for a month. They are making money hand over fist.

Posted by: Monkey Paw granter of wishes at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (XEC2p)

120 94
To be honest, there are simply too many Dougs in America to keep track of.



I say we rid ourselves of a few.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (zZbCU)



#DeporttheDougs

Posted by: Surfperch at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (tVQUs)

#DontdoDougs

Posted by: Cannibal Blob at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (7ZMbn)

121 mmmm Chocolate with a banana.
Chocolate with popcorn.

Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (WrOkn)

122 The fish tank cleaner stuff is stupid, but if you find a bottle of hydro chloroquine, you can eat the whole thing like tic-tacs, just in case, right?

Posted by: Axeman at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (Eicbe)

123 95 Charleston County, SC is now on lockdown.
Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (DTX3h)

People in Charleston move so slowly, the lockdown won't be much of a change.

Posted by: jwest at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (mrrpT)

124 I used to own a wagon.

Posted by: Winston at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (RyWXu)

125 Loeffler is a worm. I'd love to see Collins in her seat. Not illegal to do what she did, obviously, but definitely a scumbag move.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (bkUtD)

126 Joan Collins

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (aKsyK)

127 AG Doug Barr did insider trading?!

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (COzlW)

128 The Doug Diaspora.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (90T4r)

129 What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole?

Doug.

Posted by: Sponge at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (Zz0t1)

130 123 95 Charleston County, SC is now on lockdown.
Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (DTX3h)

People in Charleston move so slowly, the lockdown won't be much of a change.
Posted by: jwest at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (mrrpT)

===========

I've already barely left my house for a week.

What's another 2?

Except I'm still trying to finish up the sale of my house and everything.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (zZbCU)

131 In 2012, under Obama (SCOAMF!) in fact, the laws were changed to include congress members and staff in the insider trading statutes. Now it is a crime for House or Senate members or staff to insider trade.

Cannot believe it.
Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (SFOr6)


Huh?

I have to admit, I find that hard to believe.

As that's exactly the polar opposite of what you'd expect out of Obama and/or the Democrats.

Posted by: naturalfake at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (z0XD8)

132 I say we rid ourselves of a few.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (zZbCU)
---
Sounds like you don't dig Doug.

Posted by: Axeman at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (Eicbe)

133 Who let the Dougs out?

Posted by: JackStraw at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (ZLI7S)

134 I went to the local grocery store this morning, and there were plenty of potatoes, and also plenty of milk. But no eggs. Haven't been able to find eggs in any of the stores for a couple of weeks now. Who is buying all the friggin' eggs, and what are they doing with them?

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (k4dH2)

135 124 I used to own a wagon.
Posted by: Winston at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (RyWXu)

===========

Did you paint it with an oil based paint
cause the wood is pine?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (zZbCU)

136 Lindsey Graham promises to hold Senate hearings on this matter in 2036.

Posted by: ShainS at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (owS5v)

137 >>>To be honest, there are simply too many Dougs in America to keep track of.


I dig Dougs.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (bkUtD)

138 I don't see why the cancel culture Bezos' Washington Post is such a fan of should let the dick pic sending war profiteer slide

Posted by: x at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (nFwvY)

139 To be honest, there are simply too many Dougs in America to keep track of.

I say we rid ourselves of a few.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (zZbCU)

All the James Bakers have to go too.

Posted by: Tami at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (cF8AT)

140 Didn't Doug Collins play drums and sing with Genesis?

Posted by: johnd01 at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (ukNFU)

141 Doug Collins should be an auctioneer.
Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM

His brother Tom is a mean mixologist.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (ejd/p)

*******

Rossington put together a hell of a band

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (flINI)

142 In 2012, under Obama (SCOAMF!) in fact, the laws were changed to include congress members and staff in the insider trading statutes. Now it is a crime for House or Senate members or staff to insider trade.

---
The GRAFT must FLOW!

Posted by: Baron Washingtonian at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (Eicbe)

143

Doug is my copilot.

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (SFOr6)

144 Dammit Axeman!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (bkUtD)

145 139 To be honest, there are simply too many Dougs in America to keep track of.

I say we rid ourselves of a few.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (zZbCU)

All the James Bakers have to go too.
Posted by: Tami at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (cF8AT)

===========

I am good with all the Johnsons in Rock Ridge, though.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (zZbCU)

146 These people who are telling us we can't go to work can't be fired. They are still going to collect a fat paycheck.

And will keep their medical insurance too.

Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (WrOkn)

147 I died of alcohol poisoning because Sen. Tom Collins told me to take as much quinine as I could handle!

I got better.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (TQ/zJ)

148 Didn't Doug Collins play drums and sing with Genesis?
Posted by: johnd01 at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (ukNFU)
---
Nicknamed Susan.

Posted by: Axeman at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (Eicbe)

149 Watched the snake juice guy. He has a point.

After my sympathetic aneurysm, I realized that the hospitals are all going to over count the commie croup because all those patients will be on the gov. tab.

As he was hemorrhaging, he said that a crack head went to the ER and they didn't test, but said she had the death hack so the gov. would pay the bill. This is going to be a problem.

More and more I think we need to move all the old people to the basement, throw down some food and old reader's digests, lock the door and get back to work.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (LWu6U)

150 Ulterior reasons for acting is no excuse for NOT hauling his ass in front of a wall, er, SEC panel to explain himself.
Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM (z79tQ)


It's not ulterior, I mean per the terms of the agreement. If those dates/amounts are set, they must be kept no matter what.

We've had clients who have been caught on both sides of market swing when having to sell/transfer stocks as part of a divorce settlement.

Court does not care at all about market changes. You said you would pay the ex whatever and whatever is is you shall pay. If it was half of the value of the account on Y date and you waited a few weeks to sell and the account lost value? Fuck you, pay her.

If you agreed to transfer half the shares and you waited and now it's up 43%? Fuck you, pay him.

This is why we've had people on the phones with their brokers as the ink is drying to sell off to make the payments out.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (mf5HN)

151 I dig Dougs.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (bkUtD)

Dugs are probably my least favorite appellation for sweater puppies.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (QrImU)

152 Anyone notice who Senator Loofahs' husband is?

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (NhgkA)

153 Josh Caplan@joshdcaplan
FOX 11: Los Angeles County Sheriff Alex Villanueva declared gun stores nonessential businesses that will be forced to close

-
Releasing criminals and closing gun stores, what could possibly go wrong?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (+y/Ru)

154 Does Gary 'Aleppo' Johnson know where WuHan is?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:43 PM (qQgfA)


You could hold up the letters W U and a picture of Hanna Montana and he'd STILL have no clue.

Posted by: Rick Wilson at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (Zz0t1)

155 I am good with all the Johnsons in Rock Ridge, though.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM


Me too!

Posted by: Shep! at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (ejd/p)

156 Ok the Doug stuff is cracking me up. So stop it. I'm drinking cawfee.

Posted by: Cannibal Blob at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (7ZMbn)

157 Who's a good Doug?

Posted by: JackStraw at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (ZLI7S)

158 If I never in my life had to buy another thing from Jeff Bezos' Amazon I'd be glad.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (WI7YS)

159 Charleston County, SC is now on lockdown.
Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (DTX3h)


where did you see this?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (vEIlU)

160 >>>I am good with all the Johnsons in Rock Ridge, though.



TheJamesMadison is right!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (bkUtD)

161 What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole?

Doug.
Posted by: Sponge at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (Zz0t1)

*****

Wait... not Phil?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (flINI)

162 Doug was a whiner. Patty Mayonnaise was pretty cute though.

Posted by: jhawk90 at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (/ZYFC)

163 151 I dig Dougs.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (bkUtD)

Dugs are probably my least favorite appellation for sweater puppies.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (QrImU)

I Never understood " cans".

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (90T4r)

164 Doug Collins has to be the speediest talking Southerner I have ever heard. He make Minnesotans sound positively laconic.

Posted by: rd at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (+0uDE)

165 159 Charleston County, SC is now on lockdown.
Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (DTX3h)

where did you see this?
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (vEIlU)

=========

It's on my local news. In Charleston.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (zZbCU)

166 The shrieking about getting back to work 'TOO SOON' will be deafening but f it, we gotta get those machines turned back on

Posted by: zeera at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (zUdXR)

167 Fishtank cleaner stock is up 30%!

Posted by: Roland THTG
avec le pantalon
at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (88+cf)

168 160 >>>I am good with all the Johnsons in Rock Ridge, though.



TheJamesMadison is right!
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (bkUtD)

=========

I didn't get a harumph out of that guy.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (zZbCU)

169 Gary Collins is running for office from the Great Beyond?

Posted by: Lady in Black at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (JoUsr)

170 Momma said, "Stupid is as stupid does", but even I wouldn't ingest fish tank cleaner.
- Forrest, Forrest Gump

Posted by: Archer at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (gmo/4)

171 If I wasn't worried about still having a job tomorrow, I'd invest in Zoom.

=


@AFNS "Nation Close To Getting Videoconferencing Software To Work

WASHINGTON-Explaining that they almost had the online communication application fully figured out, the nation reportedly announced Monday that they were close to getting their videoconferencing software to work. "Hello, hello, okay, I can see you now, but I can't hear you, is there something else I need to do?" said 327 million Americans in unison while trying to figure out how to unmute themselves as they combed through their computer's system preferences trying to locate their audio settings, unsure if they needed to disconnect their bluetooth headphones or download a new plug-in...."

Posted by: runner at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (zr5Kq)

172 If I wasn't worried about still having a job tomorrow, I'd invest in Zoom. A lot of people who started using it now will stick with it. We've used it at work since it came out, and we switched from Skype.

I hate Zoom so much. Why is everyone switching from Skype?

Skype is so much better.

At my work we're using Slack for impromptu group calls and Cisco WebEx for official meetings. WebEx blows donkey chunks. Our entire team is calling in on cell phones for audio because WebEx can't reliably handle audio. Before we started using the phone workaround, we'd get random vacuum sounds in the background, you'd get stuck in mute or unmuted and couldn't toggle mute, and we regularly simply couldn't hear one or more people.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (9t0Zz)

173

Beware of Doug

https://tinyurl.com/tj2yz8h

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (aKsyK)

174 160 >>>I am good with all the Johnsons in Rock Ridge, though.

TheJamesMadison is right!
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (bkUtD)

Wyatt Earp is right about TheJamesMadison being right!

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (QrImU)

175 161 What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole?

Doug.
Posted by: Sponge at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (Zz0t1)

*****

Wait... not Phil?
Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (flINI


That's deep.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (SENHs)

176 159 Charleston County, SC is now on lockdown.
Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 24, 2020 02:44 PM (DTX3h)

where did you see this?
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (vEIlU)

Trying to keep up with all the Cool Mayors??

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (90T4r)

177 Doug-less America?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (qQgfA)

178 >>>Who's a good Doug?


McCarthur?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (bkUtD)

179 >>>7 Ace, I think it's Doug Collins running against Kelly. Doug Jones is that doofus from Alabama.

thanks, I fixed it.

TOO MANY DOUGS

Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (PbpT7)

180

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole?

Doug.
Posted by: Sponge at March 24, 2020 02:47 PM (Zz0t1)

*****

Wait... not Phil?
Posted by: Truck Monkey


Oh, jeez, now I'm crying . . .

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (SFOr6)

181 This is about me isn't it

Posted by: doug finch at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (HMHlJ)

182
Huh-uh. I want a Citizen Tribunal commissioned to look at the evidence and adjudicate accordingly. No power players hiding behind and being protected by each other in some obscene circle fest we aren't a part of.
Posted by: Lady in Black at March 24, 2020 02:46 PM (JoUsr)

I want to laugh and agree with that, but Hell No!
By time we get around to citizen tribunals, colander facemask time has come and gone and the reprisals are beginning. I'm not so sure I'll be on the winning side, either locally or nationally.
But I guess two minutes against the wall is easier than 6 months gasping for air in some dusty corner of a government run hospital

Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (z79tQ)

183 >>>I didn't get a harumph out of that guy.


You watch your ass.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (bkUtD)

184 179 >>>7 Ace, I think it's Doug Collins running against Kelly. Doug Jones is that doofus from Alabama.

thanks, I fixed it.

TOO MANY DOUGS
Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (PbpT7)

==========

Was there anything else to the content other than your mixing up of Dougs?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (zZbCU)

185 I like Kirk, but I dug Michael less.

Posted by: Axeman at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (Eicbe)

186 Summers Eve Inslee has declared that the pot stores are essential businesses and must remain open.


Whew!

Jay could have lost a lot of votes if he didn't.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (sy5kK)

187 >>>More and more I think we need to move all the old people to the basement, throw down some food and old reader's digests, lock the door and get back to work.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (LWu6U)


Ask an old person if he thinks we should shut down the country.

Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (WrOkn)

188 Posted by: naturalfake at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (z0XD

Last I heard they promptly kneecapped the rules and are essentially back to business as usual.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (uquGJ)

189


Doug-nabbit, now that's enough out of y'all.

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (SFOr6)

190
Me too!
Posted by: Shep! at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (ejd/p)

---

HARUMPHH!

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (NhgkA)

191 MNN BREAKING...Responding to the President, Joe Biden says he does too know the meaning of the word "xenophobia".

"Some of my best friends are Zeno-Americans," said Biden. "You cannot go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Zeno accent," he slurped.
Decontaminating...

Posted by: Manufactured News Network: "Employees Must Wash Their Hands Before Returning!" at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (Ndje9)

192 I have just met you, and I love you.

Posted by: Dug at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (g8Yc+)

193 i got yer Doug right here.

Posted by: Cannibal Blob at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (7ZMbn)

194 I though Cisco owned Zoom?

Or maybe it's the Cisco people created Zoom.

This indepth analysis is why all y'all should listen to my investment advice.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (mf5HN)

195 >>>I didn't get a harumph out of that guy.


You watch your ass.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (bkUtD)
---
*snaps fingers*

Posted by: The Otter at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (Eicbe)

196 Releasing criminals and closing gun stores, what could possibly go wrong?
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (+y/Ru)

----

I heard they are also increasing the waiting time to 30 days from 10 days?

Posted by: rd at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (+0uDE)

197 What is "Guod" spelled backwards?

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (dfRN6)

198 Ask an old person if he thinks we should shut down the country.
Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (WrOkn)
------------

Having recently qualified, the answer is, "No."

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (WEBkv)

199 Looking forward to the day when we can fingernail pick out sparerib orts from our teeth.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (90T4r)

200 I Never understood " cans".
Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (90T4r)

Gams for legs is cool. Has a nice 20s feel.

Cans... yeah, I think you can call boobs anything in context.

'Take a look at the four barrels on her!'

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (QrImU)

201 Dammit, willowed, let's try this again...

I am not sure. Look at what they are accomplishing with the panic here. Democrats don't give a damn what happens to the economy, the worse things are the more people turn to big daddy government to fix it all.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 02:34 PM

Maybe, but here's a good thought experiment (along the lines of the 'what if' "President Hillary and Democrat Senate)...

What would we all be saying about a "President Hillary" right now if she were doing the exact same things as President Trump? And what she said was leading to Governors all over the country ordering their states to "close"? In an election year. Effectively shutting down the Republican Primary.

Would we all be praising her handling of this and only blaming the Governors?

Something to think about...

Posted by: Clyde Shelton, a law abiding citizen at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM

Posted by: Clyde Shelton, a law abiding citizen at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (Do5/p)

202 Don't investigate me, please. Also sold a bit, partly in reaction to the pandemic, but also kinda was fixin' to any way for other reasons.

I think these inside-info cases, especially in this situation, are fairly squishy, but Collins still needs to beat Loeffler. She seems to be exactly what the country does not need - another GOP seat-warming nothing.

Posted by: rhomboid at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM (El6T/)

203 It's on my local news. In Charleston.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (zZbCU)


thanks, I have a lot of family there


I haven't found it online yet.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM (vEIlU)

204 Xenuphobia is healthy though.

Posted by: Tom Cruise at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM (Eicbe)

205 I need doug food.

Posted by: Cannibal Blob at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM (7ZMbn)

206 As my Dad would have said: "Hang them by the neck until they're dead."

I would add: "K*ll them all and let God sort them out."

Posted by: shibumi at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM (ZCiJZ)

207 Maybe cans evolved as a variation of jugs.

Posted by: Lady in Black at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM (JoUsr)

208 At my work we're using Slack for impromptu group calls and Cisco WebEx for official meetings. WebEx blows donkey chunks. Our entire team is calling in on cell phones for audio because WebEx can't reliably handle audio. Before we started using the phone workaround, we'd get random vacuum sounds in the background, you'd get stuck in mute or unmuted and couldn't toggle mute, and we regularly simply couldn't hear one or more people.
Posted by: bonhomme at March 24, 2020 02:51 PM (9t0Zz)
++++++++++++++
Zoom has gotten *much* better over the past year. My company switched to it from WebEx+teleconferencing service. Use use Skype or Zoom for chat, and Skype for telephony.

My biggest gripe with Zoom was audio latency - if the guy in the cube next to me and I were on the same call, I would hear him IRL about half a second or so before his voice came across the wire. Led to a ton of over-talking. That problem has basically vanished over the past year.

For Skype, it's just fine for telephony and chat, but it's miserable for screen sharing. The input latency (e.g., if I am controlling someone else's application and move the mouse or click, it is outrageously laggy). The lag/latency on Zoom is worlds better than Skype, but still not as good as WebEx.

Zoom is probably the best all-arounder, but WebEx still wins on input latency.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM (e/H31)

209 This indepth analysis is why all y'all should listen to my investment advice.
Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (mf5HN)
--------------

Yeah, well, it's probably been off-shored to China anyway.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM (WEBkv)

210 Want to see who is driving the stock market down? See how many Billionaires are selling short. (Hint: its all of them).

Posted by: An Observation at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM (w5sMG)

211 Doug Yule. Velvet Underground. The one who, unlike Lou Reed, could sing.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (KxVoZ)

212 Look on the positive...

At least she didn't name her car Doug

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (qQgfA)

213 192 I have just met you, and I love you.
Posted by: Dug at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (g8Yc+)

There was a squirrel in a tree, and he fell out and died. That is a funny joke!!

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (90T4r)

214 Posted by: naturalfake at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (z0XD

Last I heard they promptly kneecapped the rules and are essentially back to business as usual.
Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (uquGJ)



Now, that's the Obama and Democrats I know and love*






*Addendum: I do not actually love either.

Posted by: naturalfake at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (z0XD8)

215 Doug is the Brit spelling. Proud Americans spell it Dug.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (COzlW)

216 I really shouldn't have posted that. Your Thetans can't handle the knowledge about Xenu.

I'm sorry you're all going to die.

Posted by: Tom Cruise at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (Eicbe)

217 Posted by: TrivialPursuer at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (k4dH2)

Don't know about other families, but the five of us use a little more than 4 dozen eggs a week. Inspector is doing keto and eggs are super handy for breakfasts.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (uquGJ)

218 I need doug food.
Posted by: Cannibal Blob at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM


*backs away slowly*

Posted by: Doug at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (ejd/p)

219 >>Maybe cans evolved as a variation of jugs.


What's wrong with Bodacious Ta-Tas?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (bkUtD)

220 198 Ask an old person if he thinks we should shut down the country.
Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 02:52 PM (WrOkn)
------------

Having recently qualified, the answer is, "No."

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (WEBkv)


Radio took a call in survey and the answer was a resounding NO.

Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (WrOkn)

221 Remember Phil and Doug Espisito?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (flINI)

222 Was Bezos involved in that Event201 pandemic exercise thing?

Posted by: Clyde Shelton, a law abiding citizen at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (Do5/p)

223 194 I though Cisco owned Zoom?

Or maybe it's the Cisco people created Zoom.

This indepth analysis is why all y'all should listen to my investment advice.
Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (mf5HN)


Cisco owns webex

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (SENHs)

224 200 I Never understood " cans".
Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (90T4r)

Gams for legs is cool. Has a nice 20s feel.

Cans... yeah, I think you can call boobs anything in context.

'Take a look at the four barrels on her!'
Posted by: Aetius451AD

---

Fun bags
Vast tracts of land
Sweater puppies
Hands *making the appropriate gesture with your hands*

etc.

If nothing else, we are creative.

Posted by: Tonypete at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (Y4EXg)

225 Hey, guys, about the last thread... I woke up today and went and looked at twitter. It makes me mad that Twitter, and beyond it the mainstream media, basically gets a megaphone to blast old fashioned blood libels at us based on the statements of the fish tank cleaner drinking retards and and IF we're good we can argue back at them and hope we're not shadowbanned while their lies get a multiplier effect on the platform.

Twitter is starting to resemble a Dumpster full of asphyxiating nazi clowns in a decaying orbit, and the only way we can counteract things is to hop on over in our little space pod and get in the dumpster with the asphyxiating nazi clowns and take off our helmet and start arguing with them.

Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain, No Adjetives Today at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (dwojT)

226


Walgreens was all out of the Dougs I needed for my rheumatiz.

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (SFOr6)

227 194 I though Cisco owned Zoom?

Or maybe it's the Cisco people created Zoom.

This indepth analysis is why all y'all should listen to my investment advice.
Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 24, 2020 02:53 PM (mf5HN)

Close, but it's " Crisco".

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (90T4r)

228
Erick Erickson wakes up every day and says to himself, "Hmm, what can I tweet today that will make me stand out and be noticed by Fake News?"

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (N52Qh)

229 this claims that "cans" refers to the buttocks, not the boobs

https://www.etymonline.com/word/can

I don't know if that's true -- I always assumed boobs too.

Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (PbpT7)

230 I dig Dougs.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (bkUtD)

Boo-boo, be-boo, be-boo, be-boo, boop, be-boop

Posted by: Dig-Dug at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (uM6CE)

231 If you agreed to transfer half the shares and you waited and now it's up 43%? Fuck you, pay him.

This is why we've had people on the phones with their brokers as the ink is drying to sell off to make the payments out.
Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 24, 2020 02:49 PM (mf5HN)

Well, I was just joking.
And you sound like one of doze guyz from Goodfellas.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (z79tQ)

232 Radio said, "but you might die" and the caller said, "F.U.".

Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (WrOkn)

233 Good. Keep the focus on Doug.

Posted by: Todd at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (q1Pj5)

234 111- Last time I worked with someone classified as an 'insider' in a major firm, they had to submit their notification to buy/sell 3 (or maybe 6) months in advance. The top brass would literally say that in 3 months, on June 15th, I will sell xxx shares. That's how they avoided any question.
Posted by: Tomic Dog at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM

Executives have to file a Form 144 Notice of Intent and corporations set a window that limits the dates on which an executive can sell (usually something like a 5-day window that opens 30 days after the most recent earnings report).

Posted by: Moonbeam at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (qe5CM)

235 142 In 2012, under Obama (SCOAMF!) in fact, the laws were changed to include congress members and staff in the insider trading statutes. Now it is a crime for House or Senate members or staff to insider trade.

---
The GRAFT must FLOW!
Posted by: Baron Washingtonian at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (Eicbe)

Uh, no. Yes they made it illegal with great publicity, and then a few months later changed it back with no press coverage.

They originally had to disclose all their trading activity, but then amended the act so that its ONLY available in printed form in the basement of a gov building in DC.

Making it almost impossible to actually apply the law.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (NgKpN)

236 Good. Keep the focus on Doug.
Posted by: Todd at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (q1Pj5)
---
Absolutely.

Posted by: Karen at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (Eicbe)

237 I do know that "Gams" for legs comes from Italian "gambe" (legs)

Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (PbpT7)

238 157 Who's a good Doug?
Posted by: JackStraw

Doug and the Slugs, but he's Canadian, eh.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (LWu6U)

239 "People in Charleston move so slowly, the lockdown won't be much of a change."

It actually hurts my legs when I get stuck behind a slow walker.

Posted by: Chris M at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (eAZVt)

240 Zoom dropped in price today.

So, here's an opportunity if you're so inclined.

Posted by: naturalfake at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (z0XD8)

241 Good cans are cool, but does she have a great set of pins?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (qQgfA)

242 Boobs are proof Doug loves us and wants us to be happy.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (QrImU)

243 this claims that "cans" refers to the buttocks, not the boobs

https://www.etymonline.com/word/can

I don't know if that's true -- I always assumed boobs too.
Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (PbpT7)

They've always been tits in my world.

Now Jerry Cans, or saddle bags? Different story

Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (z79tQ)

244 Would be curious to review the phone records of those senators AND THEIR STAFFERS vis-a-vis the stock sales.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (axyOa)

245 So, did TDOC, which is Zoom for doctors..more or less.

Posted by: naturalfake at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (z0XD8)

246 211 Doug Yule. Velvet Underground. The one who, unlike Lou Reed, could sing.
Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (KxVoZ)

I hate that " walk on the Wild Side" was so catchy. What an unfortunate thing to have rolling around in my head.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (90T4r)

247 For Skype, it's just fine for telephony and chat, but it's miserable for screen sharing. The input latency (e.g., if I am controlling someone else's application and move the mouse or click, it is outrageously laggy). The lag/latency on Zoom is worlds better than Skype, but still not as good as WebEx.

You have a very different use case than mine. I haven't experienced trying to do input on someone's shared application. Usually we only share screens and the person sharing is doing all the input.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (9t0Zz)

248 Cans = boobs

This is the Way

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo. Yes, you. at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (ifmtJ)

249

I read that Magnesium is good for you.
And I just realized that my car's wheels are made of,
get this, magnesium. So, I'ma gonna start licking my car's wheels everyday.

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (N52Qh)

250 Waiting to see this addressed explicitly, and not just in terms of low-ish guesstimates on economic impact, but when all the turning wheels are taken into account - the tragically huge % of the workforce that is government, the currently balls-to-the-wall hot logistics and food/drug retail sectors, the % of people working from home/online, the large % of the economy that has been exempted (including construction in most places) - just how big with the macro hit be here?

I'm guessing far, far less than the hysterical "estimates", and probably much less than the more conventional ones.

All good news.

If only a miracle could occur, and the "relief" package could be pared down to the small legit elements - loans to small business, loans to a small number of large companies in transportation/hospitality. Helicopter money is stoopid, a dime to many sectors/companies would be an outrage. But we don't have a WH, GOP, or Dem gang that apparently can imagine an actually rational and responsible approach.

Posted by: rhomboid at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (El6T/)

251 203 It's on my local news. In Charleston.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (zZbCU)

thanks, I have a lot of family there

I haven't found it online yet.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 02:54 PM (vEIlU)


Mayor Tecklenburg just announced it minutes ago. Technically, it's the City of Charleston rather than Charleston County. Either way, I'm included. Yay.

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (DTX3h)

252

Douglas Adams says Don't Panic we'll figure out which Doug it is

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (3Hp/M)

253 Eurogenes, a blog that is normally dedicated to analyzing human genetic studies has turned into an euro weenies anti Trump assholery roundup.

It seems that I am the only one defending Trump and the USA. Geez how I despise these holier than though elitist socialist euro trash. The shrillness caused by American-envy syndrome comes through loud and clear. Blatant lies. No critical thinking.

Posted by: Floridachick at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (aSAk4)

254 Ask an old person if he thinks we should shut down the country.
As someone in the at risk elderly age group: HELL NO!

Posted by: An Observation at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (w5sMG)

255 >>>I read that Magnesium is good for you.
And I just realized that my car's wheels are made of,
get this, magnesium. So, I'ma gonna start licking my car's wheels everyday.

can recommend

Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (PbpT7)

256 Twitter is starting to resemble a Dumpster full of asphyxiating nazi clowns in a decaying orbit, and the only way we can counteract things is to hop on over in our little space pod and get in the dumpster with the asphyxiating nazi clowns and take off our helmet and start arguing with them.
Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain, No Adjetives Today at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (dwojT)
------
Can't we give them a little delta-vee to accelerate the decay?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (g8Yc+)

257 229 this claims that "cans" refers to the buttocks, not the boobs

https://www.etymonline.com/word/can

I don't know if that's true -- I always assumed boobs too.
Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (PbpT7)

I seem to remember vaguely cans being used for legs once.

If you are going for the 20s swank vibe though 'stems' is better for legs.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (QrImU)

258 233 Good. Keep the focus on Doug.
Posted by: Todd at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (q1Pj5)

Perhaps, at some point in the future, the technology will exist for time travel. Then, we could go back in time and kill one of these Doug's in their crib to avoid this embarrassing confusion.

Posted by: jwest at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (mrrpT)

259 The fucking fucks in local, state and fed gov are still telling me what to do 24/7. They are bossing me around. That makes them my defacto employer. Where I come from, employers pay those they boss around; people referred to as employees. Most employees are paid every 2 weeks. It would be quite simple for these fuckers to simply send us a paycheck this Friday. They know all about us.
Simple. If you want me to do what you ask, pay me you mother fucking fucks.
Dont forget the time and a half for over 40, and double time the rest of the 14 days.

Posted by: Asscheeks of Saturn at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (Fcewk)

260 For Bezos, his stock sale could have been planned ahead - part of portfolio management strategy. He sold exactly 1.8 billion of stock at end of July.

Posted by: runner at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (zr5Kq)

261 Last time I worked with someone classified as an 'insider' in a major firm, they had to submit their notification to buy/sell 3 (or maybe 6) months in advance. The top brass would literally say that in 3 months, on June 15th, I will sell xxx shares. That's how they avoided any question.
...
Posted by: Tomic Dog at March 24, 2020 02:45 PM (UYvk0)
++++++++
I am not an executive, but I am sadly an "insider" because I made the mistake of asking a question once upon a time. It's a joke - I know nothing of earnings or sales before anyone else, but it landed me on "The List."

As a result, I am subject to blackouts on trading around earnings time (much before, and some after). Due to our schedule and the Wuhan virus panic, that blackout has cost me 35%. It kinda hurts, not gonna lie.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (e/H31)

262
this claims that "cans" refers to the buttocks, not the boobs

https://www.etymonline.com/word/can

I don't know if that's true -- I always assumed boobs too.
Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (PbpT7)

They've always been tits in my world.

Now Jerry Cans, or saddle bags? Different story
Posted by: OneEyedJack


A "can" singular could refer to the ass, but I've never heard the cheeks called "cans" plural.

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (SFOr6)

263 O/T but a question from the last thread.
Isn't the anti malaria drug by prescription only?
I'm ready to throw in with the murder theory.

Posted by: Winston a dreg of society at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM (TYQsd)

264 229
this claims that "cans" refers to the buttocks, not the boobs



https://www.etymonline.com/word/can



I don't know if that's true -- I always assumed boobs too.

Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (PbpT7)

Cans, plural, is boobs. Can, singular, is ass. A bunch of asses? The DNC.

Posted by: Inspector Clouseau at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (KnJdm)

265 >>>I seem to remember vaguely cans being used for legs once.

no I think you're thinking "gams."

Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (PbpT7)

266 I dig Doug

Posted by: JackStraw at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (ZLI7S)

267 All we are is just a

'nother Doug in the wall.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (q1Pj5)

268 Douglas Adams already addressed this issue - its Ark B all the way down.

Sanitize those telephones.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (qQgfA)

269 Now Jerry Cans, or saddle bags? Different story
Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (z79tQ)

Saddle bags are more appropriate for Nancy Pelosi's boobs.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (QrImU)

270 Remember Stan Laurel and Doug Hardy?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (flINI)

271 The whole high-beams/headlamps/headlights thing is just weird.

Most of them are rectangular, not round like beautiful breastesses. And I've never seen breastesses that light up at night.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (KxVoZ)

272 I read that Magnesium is good for you.
And I just realized that my car's wheels are made of, get this, magnesium. So, I'ma gonna start licking my car's wheels everyday.


Probably too low a dose to do much good. I think you have to melt them down and drink them to get the full effect.

Posted by: Algae-Free Corpse at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (H5knJ)

273 Well, its certainly worth an investigation. Because all these big wigs selling off almost certainly triggered major sell-offs.

I still want to know how many Chinese companies dumped stocks to get money while they were unable to function or ship out product.

Cans, plural, is boobs. Can, singular, is ass.

That's my understanding as well. At least in this region. Not used much, though. Seems to be older slang.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:01 PM (KZzsI)

274 gams = legs

Posted by: runner at March 24, 2020 03:01 PM (zr5Kq)

275 Good cans are cool, but does she have a great set of pins?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (qQgfA)
-----
Great games, and plenty of "oomph".

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at March 24, 2020 03:01 PM (g8Yc+)

276 I am not an executive, but I am sadly an "insider" because I made the mistake of asking a question once upon a time. It's a joke - I know nothing of earnings or sales before anyone else, but it landed me on "The List."

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!)

---

I was in IT - had no connection with stock or earnings or anything but I also was on the list. Couldn't even buy stock with putting in a notice of intent. And then had to be approved. Bastids.



Posted by: Tonypete at March 24, 2020 03:01 PM (Y4EXg)

277 224 200 I Never understood " cans".
Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 02:50 PM (90T4r)

Gams for legs is cool. Has a nice 20s feel.

Cans... yeah, I think you can call boobs anything in context.

'Take a look at the four barrels on her!'
Posted by: Aetius451AD

---

Fun bags
Vast tracts of land
Sweater puppies
Hands *making the appropriate gesture with your hands*

etc.

If nothing else, we are creative.
Posted by: Tonypete at March 24, 2020 02:56 PM (Y4EXg)

Friend of mine and I was snowskiing with our soon to be Ex Wives.

Me and him got to line first, and saw a Gorgeous really stacked woman in line in front of us.

He blurted out, 'wow nice', just as the Ladies caught up to us.

Covered by finishing 'boots'.

Ever since then, its been 'slang' within our group of good friends.

I wonder if a lot of 'slang' started that way.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 24, 2020 03:01 PM (NgKpN)

278 You have a very different use case than mine. I haven't experienced trying to do input on someone's shared application. Usually we only share screens and the person sharing is doing all the input.
Posted by: bonhomme at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (9t0Zz)
++++++++++
And thus we have different products out there in the market. WebEx is still the best IMO for real-time, shared-screen, multi-input collaboration. Zoom is the best for presentations/town-hall types things and its teleconferencing is superior.

Thankfully, we don't the People's Commissar on Groupware calling all the shots!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 24, 2020 03:01 PM (e/H31)

279 boobs is plural
cans is plural

butt is singular
bottom is singular

Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 03:01 PM (WrOkn)

280

I read that Magnesium is good for you.
And I just realized that my car's wheels are made of,
get this, magnesium. So, I'ma gonna start licking my car's wheels everyday.

can recommend
Posted by: ace


Zinc also prevents coronaviruses from multiplying. Zinc was initially used to make in-counter washbasins, which is how we get the word "sinks," from the German "zink."

Licking sinks would be a wise way to mitigate the effects of coronavirus.

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (SFOr6)

281 "Set of x" | x = tits.

Posted by: Axeman at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (Eicbe)

282 Gams is an awesome word. I use that one a lot.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (KxVoZ)

283 I've never seen breastesses that light up at night.
Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (KxVoZ)

*******

You haven't lived my friend... You haven't lived...

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (flINI)

284 Good cans are cool, but does she have a great set of pins?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (qQgfA)

Pins is another one for legs that has the swanky vibe.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (QrImU)

285 Two bald headed midgets wrestling under a blanket

Posted by: bewbs at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (LV2j3)

286
Remember Stan Laurel and Doug Hardy?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (flINI)


I saw them open for Phil and Doug Everly

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (3Hp/M)

287 Scored TP at Publix just now! *weeps for joy*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (ptqGC)

288 I have to go out today and get meds. I might go to the grocery store while I'm out. I need oranges.

Posted by: notsothoreau at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (JKNZq)

289 Don't give the Tide Pod kids ideas of melting their Mag rims...

Oh wait, that is a really hot idea to clean out the gene pool

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (qQgfA)

290 Douglas Adams already addressed this issue - its Ark B all the way down.

Sanitize those telephones.
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (qQgfA)
-----
Gynnantonix all 'round!

Posted by: Captain of the "B"Ark at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (g8Yc+)

291 273 Well, its certainly worth an investigation. Because all these big wigs selling off almost certainly triggered major sell-offs.

I still want to know how many Chinese companies dumped stocks to get money while they were unable to function or ship out product.

Cans, plural, is boobs. Can, singular, is ass.

That's my understanding as well. At least in this region. Not used much, though. Seems to be older slang.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:01 PM (KZzsI)

Knockers used here quite a bit. Which is kind of odd too.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (90T4r)

292 I think he meant Clam.

Posted by: garrett at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (J8Jff)

293 What would we all be saying about a "President Hillary" right now if she were doing the exact same things as President Trump? And what she said was leading to Governors all over the country ordering their states to "close"? In an election year. Effectively shutting down the Republican Primary.

Except for fuckhead DeRINO, it's commiecrat governors shutting down their states.

Posted by: Captain Hate at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (y7DUB)

294 I thought cans were headlights.

And a trunk was what was on the back of the car.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (SENHs)

295 248
Cans = boobs



This is the Way

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo. Yes, you. at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (ifmtJ)

That science was settled long ago.

Posted by: Cannibal Blob at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (7ZMbn)

296 Saddle bags are more appropriate for Nancy Pelosi's boobs.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (QrImU)

*******

Drapes

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (flINI)

297 _______________

No, Mackensie Bezos took his first offer, which was for $38 billion in Amazon stock.
Posted by: TrivialPursuer at March 24, 2020 02:39 PM (k4dH2)

She got a few houses too

But yeah, Jeff didn't need to sell stock, only sign paperwork.


Bezos, or his hired help, knew more than the rest of us.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (sy5kK)

298 Don't worry. Barr will get to this as soon as he goes after the peasants who had the foresight to buy extra Purell at Walmart looking to sell it on EBay to rich suburban housewives with fully paid credit cards.

Because in a disaster. The real villains are always the individuals who wish to sell a product for more than the local Home Depot even though the Home Depot doesn't have it in stock.

Posted by: SH at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (sX1BW)

299 281 "Set of x" | x = tits.
Posted by: Axeman at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (Eicbe)

*golfclap*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (QrImU)

300 Sweater puppies.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (gd9RK)

301 Doug Ingle - singer/organist of Iron Butterfly.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (KxVoZ)

302 261-Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 24, 2020 02:59 PM

Joe- see my comment at #234- I think you're confirming my understanding.

Posted by: Moonbeam at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (qe5CM)

303 The whole high-beams/headlamps/headlights thing is just weird.



Most of them are rectangular, not round like beautiful breastesses. And I've never seen breastesses that light up at night.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (KxVoZ)

Know how I know you are not yet 29?

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (q1Pj5)

304 294
I thought cans were headlights.



And a trunk was what was on the back of the car.





Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (SENHs)

And the tranny?

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (N39Ws)

305 288 I have to go out today and get meds. I might go to the grocery store while I'm out. I need oranges.
Posted by: notsothoreau at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (JKNZq)

Gonna take the pink peppa pig bike??
( Hat tip: alex).

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (90T4r)

306 287 Scored TP at Publix just now! *weeps for joy*
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (ptqGC)


Jane has been on the toilet for two hours now. Someone should check on her.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (SENHs)

307 Yes, the anti-malarial is prescription only.

Posted by: notsothoreau at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (JKNZq)

308 Great set of pins?

Hams. "Nice hams on that one".

Posted by: been using that at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (LV2j3)

309 Don't give the Tide Pod kids ideas of melting their Mag rims...

Oh wait, that is a really hot idea to clean out the gene pool
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (qQgfA)
-------------

If they're dumb enough to melt their rims, they really shouldn't be driving, anyway.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (WEBkv)

310

The first ingredient in almost any liquid product is usually H20, yes?

Shampoo, for example.

Have you ever heard of anyone drinking shampoo for its Water? What kind of fucking imbecile does one have to be to think that's a good idea?

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (N52Qh)

311 Probably too low a dose to do much good. I think you have to melt them down and drink them to get the full effect.
Posted by: Algae-Free Corpse at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (H5knJ)
+++++++++++++
I bought a bunch of old Sony Vaio laptops with the high-strength (and stylish!) magnesium cases. I melted them down, mixed in some aquarium cleaner, shredded it up real fine in my Blendtc, mixed it with some Milk of Magnesia, doped it with extremely high doses of vitamins A-K, and then ground up some pennies to get plenty of zinc, stirred it all together with some iron filings and drank down the *ultimate* health smoothie!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (e/H31)

312 So, I'ma gonna start licking my car's wheels everyday.

can recommend
Posted by: ace
---
I don't know that I'm up for that. All the preventative chemo I'm taking.

Posted by: Axeman at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (Eicbe)

313 Sweater puppies is good. It very perfectly describes that certain "squirming" motion that - BRB...

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (KxVoZ)

314 And the tranny?
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (N39Ws)
-------------

Somewhere in between.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (WEBkv)

315 I'm better at karaoke than Doug is.

Posted by: Todd at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (COzlW)

316 Our buddy Jake Tapper is in fine form today.

If only Trump had ordered factories to make ventilators yesterday, we would be swimming in them today.

And apparently, in Jake's mind, Trump ordered everyone back to work after Easter.

Posted by: jwest at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (mrrpT)

317 Governor Walz just preempted TV in MN for his daily bloviations.

Posted by: rd at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (+0uDE)

318 Women don't seem to have as many nicknames for men's parts. At least, not that they are sharing.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (KZzsI)

319 *backs away slowly*

Posted by: Doug at March 24, 2020 02:55 PM (ejd/p)

dougon it!

Posted by: Cannibal Blob at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (7ZMbn)

320 287 Scored TP at Publix just now! *weeps for joy*
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (ptqGC)


Is it rationed?

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (90T4r)

321 Gams is an awesome word. I use that one a lot.
Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (KxVoZ)
+++++++++++
See also: stems

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (e/H31)

322 Newsom now saying lockdown may go on for months - "we have to take extreme measures."
........

... to ruin the economy before the election.

Posted by: wth at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (v0R5T)

323 My guess as to why the WAPO has been one of the biggest fear mongers on the chinese flu.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (pw+jk)

324 285 Two bald headed midgets wrestling under a blanket
Posted by: bewbs at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM (LV2j3)

1994. My buddy and I were pulling out of the dorm parking lot. This nice young lady jogger ran up and jogged in place while we waited for a break in the traffic. She was wearing a tight black lycra/stretchy pants thing.

There was much movement. God bless her.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (QrImU)

325 Did that SEC warning to Congress include a stern verbal response?

And a scolding?

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (sy5kK)

326 Cans = boobs

This is the Way
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo. Yes, you. at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (ifmtJ)


You have spoken.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (axyOa)

327 In England, a "boot" is on the back of a car. Is that where "booty" comes from?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (KxVoZ)

328 Maybe when they send all the boys out of the class in Middle School Health they teach the girls all the names for boy bits and keep it to themselves. And the mysteries of superfluous pillows on the couch

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (KZzsI)

329 I recall hearing, years ago, an insider trading prosecution whose insider information was what a guy heard from his daughter who'd been babysitting for a family with lots of money and information in The Market.

Posted by: Richard Aubrey at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (fikzx)

330 And the tranny?
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (N39Ws)
---
Got two shows canceled.

Posted by: Axeman at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (Eicbe)

331 Have you ever heard of anyone drinking shampoo for its Water? What kind of fucking imbecile does one have to be to think that's a good idea?
Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:04 PM (N52Qh)
-------------

Two words: Tide pods.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (WEBkv)

332 318 Women don't seem to have as many nicknames for men's parts. At least, not that they are sharing.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (KZzsI)

One-eyed trouser rat.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (90T4r)

333
And i am forced to drink my noon martini at room temp...

frig went out during the night.

Posted by: krusty at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (bbTex)

334 Why do they call it a Doug-out? Shouldn't it be called Doug-in?

Posted by: Kenny Banya at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (COzlW)

335 And apparently, in Jake's mind, Trump ordered everyone back to work after Easter.

---------------

We fought a war so a King couldn't tell us what to do, and yet, hear I am wishing for King Trump to just declare us able to go back to work.

Posted by: SH at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (sX1BW)

336 312 So, I'ma gonna start licking my car's wheels everyday.


Make sure they're radials. You wouldn't believe the shit you can catch off of bias plys.

Posted by: jwest at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (mrrpT)

337 In England, a "boot" is on the back of a car. Is that where "booty" comes from?

Professor, what's another name for pirate treasure?
Why, I think that's "booty"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (KZzsI)

338 322 Newsom now saying lockdown may go on for months - "we have to take extreme measures."


it's going to be up to the people of Cali to deal with this tyranny.

just like it's going to be up to us here in PA to deal with that asshat Wolf.

Posted by: THE_BlackOrchid_STATE! at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (j9HX3)

339 300 Sweater puppies.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 24, 2020 03:03 PM (gd9RK)

But sweater meat is in the same category as 'dugs'. A bit too earthy for my tastes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (QrImU)

340 Maybe when they send all the boys out of the class in Middle School Health they teach the girls all the names for boy bits and keep it to themselves. And the mysteries of superfluous pillows on the couch

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (KZzsI)
---
But luckily you can catch up with one showing of Austin Powers.

Posted by: Axeman at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (Eicbe)

341 I don't remember which Doug posted this but bless you. It is both educational and a great comfort in this time of need.

https://tinyurl.com/vhuqfbs

Posted by: JackStraw at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (ZLI7S)

342 >>>[134] I went to the local grocery store this morning, and there were plenty of potatoes, and also plenty of milk. But no eggs. Haven't been able to find eggs in any of the stores for a couple of weeks now. Who is buying all the friggin' eggs, and what are they doing with them? Posted by: TrivialPursuer at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (k4dH2)

Maybe pharma folks racing to develop vaccines?

Posted by: Kathy at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (qv3wo)

343 Sweater puppies is good. It very perfectly describes that certain "squirming" motion that - BRB...

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (KxVoZ)

With the pink or brown noses.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (q1Pj5)

344



Trump turned me into an aquarium......I got better

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (3Hp/M)

345 And i am forced to drink my noon martini at room temp...

frig went out during the night.
Posted by: krusty at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (bbTex)


now THAT my friends is bad. very bad.

Posted by: runner at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (zr5Kq)

346 Newsom now saying lockdown may go on for months - "we have to take extreme measures."
........

... to ruin the economy before the election.
Posted by: wth at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (v0R5T)
+++++++++++++
Which makes less than no sense. Since it is unlikely that Trump is going to order national martial law nor prevent governors from ordering local martial law, it will be on them. If the rest of the country gets back to work and they don't, it will drag down some of the country but kill themselves. And to what end? These places are deep blue. Not likely that it will flip them to Republicans, but there is also nearly nothing to be gained...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (e/H31)

347 She got a few houses too

But yeah, Jeff didn't need to sell stock, only sign paperwork.
______________

Yep, he just needed to transfer title to her on the Amazon stock, he didn't need to sell any. Not for the divorce anyway. To keep his new high-spending squeeze living in the manner to which she intends to become accustomed is another matter altogether, however.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (k4dH2)

348 321 See also: stems

Another good one. Anything that sounds like it came from an old noir detective novel is usually good.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (KxVoZ)

349 Meanwhile, the SEC has issued a warning about insider trading after four Senators

Ooh, they must be serious!

Posted by: t-bird at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (gHCnG)

350 Thanks notsothoreau
I was wondering how stupid they could've been.
Blaming OrangeManBad may play well in the newsrooms but it's lost on most people.

I also have been wondering. If this woman is in ICU, how is she giving TV interviews?

Posted by: Winston a dreg of society at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (TYQsd)

351 Is that where "booty" comes from?


Beute, pronounced boy-te, is German for loot. That's where booty comes from.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (gd9RK)

352 nicknames for men's parts.

"Pain Giver"

Posted by: ungowa whuhan at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (LV2j3)

353 One-eyed trouser rat.
Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (90T4r)

Purple headed Love Warrior.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (QrImU)

354
I have a roll of Zinc metal for my roof.
If I file it into shavings and put it into a glass of water-shampoo, I can make hella healthy drink!

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (N52Qh)

355 y'all are forgetting 'buns'

Posted by: DB- just DB. at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (iTXRQ)

356 Hmmmmm.......it's like they actually listened to the same CDC briefings that the Senators got.

Posted by: Mr. Scott (Formerly GWS) at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (JUOKG)

357 Getaway sticks.

Posted by: Tom Meagher at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (x8Wzq)

358 Dear Attorney General Barr,

Isn't this stock-dumping essentially the same underlying issue in Martha Stewart's process crime conviction?

Maybe after Sleepy John Durham's extended paid vacation, you could put our Top Men--TOP!--on the case.

ps; I hear that price-gougers can expect a knock on the door.

So if Jim Comey wiretaps and frames the President and sells black-market surgical masks, you'll bring charges for the masks?

Posted by: The Gipper Lives at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (Ndje9)

359 One-eyed trouser rat.
Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (90T4r)
--------------

Yeah, that was probably created by a guy, because, well, we're guys.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing
at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (WEBkv)

360 Women don't seem to have as many nicknames for men's parts. At least, not that they are sharing.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM

And that's how it shall remain.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (COzlW)

361 I read that Magnesium is good for you.
And I just realized that my car's wheels are made of, get this, magnesium. So, I'ma gonna start licking my car's wheels everyday.

Probably too low a dose to do much good. I think you have to melt them down and drink them to get the full effect.
Posted by: Algae-Free Corpse at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (H5knJ)

Or go to Harbor Freight and buy those fire starter magnesium blocks with the ferro rod and striker.
Throw the ferro rod out, but you can use the striker to scrape off your daily dose of magnesium.
Easy peasy

Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (z79tQ)

362 1994. My buddy and I were pulling out of the dorm parking lot. This nice young lady jogger ran up and jogged in place while we waited for a break in the traffic. She was wearing a tight black lycra/stretchy pants thing.

There was much movement. God bless her.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (QrImU)
-------
On Sunset Blvd., where it passes the north side of UCLA, there were coed joggers. Very distracting coed joggers...

Posted by: Captain of the at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (g8Yc+)

363 I don't remember which Doug posted this but bless you. It is both educational and a great comfort in this time of need.

https://tinyurl.com/vhuqfbs
Posted by: JackStraw at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM (ZLI7S)
++++++++++
Now *that's* a PSA.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (e/H31)

364 We still called it the "boot" on this side of the pond in the wagon and buggy days. Wonder when/how it became the "trunk"?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (KxVoZ)

365 orbs

Posted by: wth at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (v0R5T)

366 Can = Ass

Cans = Tits

This is known.

Posted by: Sponge at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (Zz0t1)

367 Have you ever heard of anyone drinking shampoo for its Water? What kind of fucking imbecile does one have to be to think that's a good idea?

It's not the water that's irresistible, it's the strawberry scent. How can you expect me not to eat shampoo that purposely smells like food?

Posted by: Algae-Free Corpse at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (H5knJ)

368 Gynnantonix all 'round!
Posted by: Captain of the "B"Ark at March 24, 2020 03:02 PM


Make mine a Pangalactic Gargleblaster!

Posted by: Doug at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (ejd/p)

369 >>>Beute, pronounced boy-te, is German for loot. That's where booty comes from.

disagree

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/butin#French

Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (PbpT7)

370 booty = money basket

Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (WrOkn)

371 Off, Doug sock!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (ejd/p)

372 Eggs are in short supply here, to. Luckily I have a friend who buys them direct from a farmer who's out of town a bit, I can get some from her.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (trdmm)

373
nicknames for men's parts.

"Pain Giver"
Posted by: ungowa whuhan


If we consult the classics:

Anaconda

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 03:09 PM (SFOr6)

374 Is there a boob etymologist in the house?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (+y/Ru)

375 I went to the local grocery store this morning, and there were plenty of potatoes, and also plenty of milk. But no eggs. Haven't been able to find eggs in any of the stores for a couple of weeks now. Who is buying all the friggin' eggs, and what are they doing with them? Posted by: TrivialPursuer at March 24, 2020 02:48 PM (k4dH2)

Maybe pharma folks racing to develop vaccines?
Posted by: Kathy at March 24, 2020 03:07 PM

Pharma yolks.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (COzlW)

376 >>>366 Can = Ass

Cans = Tits

oh yeah... people say "kicked him right in the can."

Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (PbpT7)

377 318 Women don't seem to have as many nicknames for men's parts. At least, not that they are sharing.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (KZzsI)

One-eyed trouser rat.
Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 03:06 PM (90T4r)

*****

*Getting in touch with my feminine side*
John Thomas
Tallywacker
Schvantz
Schmeckel
Schmuck
Johnson
Twig and Berries
Wedding Tackle

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (flINI)

378 No guys, those are names MEN came up with for their wang, like this song:

https://youtu.be/p9PiqCeLEmM

and then Mr Creosote explodes

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (KZzsI)

379 Newsome wants to be the governor of ashes

Posted by: getting the socks off the banned at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (LV2j3)

380 My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon!

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (KxVoZ)

381
I said yesterday that I was sure that Florida (Arizona) couple were assholes, to begin with.

I meant that I would bet my left nut it wouldn't take much investigating to find out it probably wasn't the first, or even fifth, foray into misadventure.

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (N52Qh)

382 Market is going up

and I've been picking bottoms since 1965

Posted by: REDACTED at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (rpxSz)

383 Yeah well I bought 6,000 shares of Petsmart and they said I was crazy, WHO'S LAUGHIN NOW?!

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (icI8A)

384 Beute, pronounced boy-te, is German for loot. That's where booty comes from.
---
Hmmn. I might have made a mistake with my name.

Posted by: John Big-Bootay at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (Eicbe)

385 Mayor Tecklenburg just announced it minutes ago. Technically, it's the City of Charleston rather than Charleston County. Either way, I'm included. Yay.
Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (DTX3h)


Thanks, I just talked to my family. They know.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (vEIlU)

386 251 Mayor Tecklenburg just announced it minutes ago. Technically, it's the City of Charleston rather than Charleston County. Either way, I'm included. Yay.
Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (DTX3h)

============

Hello neighbor.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (zZbCU)

387 FuknA. I learned to lie effectively to avoid a beating from the nuns. Loeffler has so many tells its like shes got St Vitus dance.

Posted by: BluesFish at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (WQZ1O)

388 So where does the movie making phrase 'it's in the can' come...

Oh.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (QrImU)

389 If we consult the classics:

Anaconda


It doesn't want none unless you have buns, hon

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (KZzsI)

390 I call mine, "Durbin."

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (KxVoZ)

391 >>>and I've been picking bottoms since 1965


Me too!!!!

Posted by: David French at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (PbpT7)

392 Hey man, if you don't let Senators enrich themselves with insider trading, they're going want even more in bribes from my corporate members.

Thus, insider trading is more market efficient and in keeping with conservative principles ... according to this AEI study I can get written tonight and published tomorrow if I need it.

Posted by: Chamber of Commerce Guy at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (dYe5S)

393 Little Willy.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (90T4r)

394 360 Women don't seem to have as many nicknames for men's parts. At least, not that they are sharing.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM

And that's how it shall remain.
Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at March 24, 2020 03:08 PM (COzlW)

In general Men are fixated on Parts, on both genders, a whole lot more than women are.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (trdmm)

395 Is there a boob etymologist in the house?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (+y/Ru)
+++++++++++++++
I'm a boob entomologist!

Posted by: Guy who milks spiders at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (e/H31)

396 Would love to see PDT take to the airwaves and grill the Dems over this budget. The American people would love it.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (axyOa)

397 Jake Tapper is interviewing Joe Biden right now...

The sign printers are already working on the "Cuomo 2020" banners for the convention.

Posted by: jwest at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (mrrpT)

398 Mayor Tecklenburg just announced it minutes ago. Technically, it's the City of Charleston rather than Charleston County. Either way, I'm included. Yay.
Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 24, 2020 02:58 PM (DTX3h)

============

Hello neighbor.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (zZbCU)


Very sad, was supposed to be down there the month of May. No more.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (vEIlU)

399 disagree

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/butin#French



Pish.

(a) looking things up is cheating.

(ii) is butin in 99 Luftballons? No it is not. Beute is.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (gd9RK)

400 Market is going up

and I've been picking bottoms since 1965
Posted by: REDACTED at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (rpxSz)
+++++++++++++
Me too!

Posted by: Shep! at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (e/H31)

401
I don't know how to spell it, but "yabbles" or some say
yabbos, is boobs, in some parts. Yiddish?

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (N52Qh)

402 380 My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon!
Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (KxVoZ)

Since we're going there, what are dumps? "Dumps like a truck, truck, truck..."

Posted by: Jordan61 at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (Ez6QX)

403 Newsom now saying lockdown may go on for months - "we have to take extreme measures."

Sadly, Jay Inslee of Washington is the only lockdown or lockdown-likely governor up for election this fall.

Posted by: t-bird at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (Ibwur)

404 and I've been picking bottoms since 1965

Posted by: REDACTED at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (rpxSz)



Barry O: Call me

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (3Hp/M)

405 280

I read that Magnesium is good for you.
And I just realized that my car's wheels are made of,
get this, magnesium. So, I'ma gonna start licking my car's wheels everyday.

can recommend
Posted by: ace

Make sure the car is not moving.

Posted by: Brain-damaged wheel licker at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (Vy7tf)

406 People use to say: She's built like a battleship. Or

Look at those torpedoes.

Posted by: Humphreyrobot at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (6YzHn)

407 400 Market is going up

and I've been picking bottoms since 1965
Posted by: REDACTED at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (rpxSz)

=========

Don't worry, it'll lose at least half of its gains tomorrow for inexplicable reasons.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (zZbCU)

408 Some time ago a female commenter here said something about a turkey neck.

Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (WrOkn)

409 Ugh. Just learned a friend in Atlanta has Chinese virus. He was widowed three years ago and raising three teenagers.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (ptqGC)

410 Well, isn't that just special.

Bless their hearts, I'm so happy that they have avoided any financial pain.



/sarc - can't be too careful around here, lately everyone seems awful touchy.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/365 at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (zlgJP)

411 In general Men are fixated on Parts, on both genders, a whole lot more than women are.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (trdmm)

++++
How true.

Posted by: washrivergal at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (jSEze)

412 Luftballoons?? 99. Count 'em.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (90T4r)

413
So, I walk into my grocery store and what song is playing over the loudspeaker?

"Don't Fear the Reaper."

Perfect.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (pS94+)

414 I don't know how to spell it, but "yabbles" or some say
yabbos, is boobs, in some parts. Yiddish?
Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (N52Qh)

I thought yarbles was balls?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (QrImU)

415 Women don't seem to have as many nicknames for men's parts. At least, not that they are sharing.

It's funny how guys don't name their cars, women do.
Women don't name the opposite sex's parts, guys do.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (9t0Zz)

416 Some time ago a female commenter here said something about a turkey neck.
======

This is about me, isn't it?

Posted by: Kathleen Sebelius at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (vg8iE)

417 Warped shplib.

Posted by: Bubba Clintoon at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (v0R5T)

418 346-Newsom now saying lockdown may go on for months - "we have to take extreme measures."
........... to ruin the economy before the election.
Posted by: wth at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM

Pretty soon we're going to be seeing Californians doing Von Trapp Family-style escapes over the border.

Posted by: Moonbeam at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (qe5CM)

419 Don't worry, it'll lose at least half of its gains tomorrow for inexplicable reasons.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (zZbCU)



Fouci corrects the president.

Posted by: Braenyard at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (WrOkn)

420 Sorry...I was responding to a highjacker.

Posted by: Humphreyrobot at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (6YzHn)

421 In general Men are fixated on Parts, on both genders, a whole lot more than women are.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 24, 2020 03:11 PM (trdmm)
++++++++++++
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Check your patriarchy at the door!

Posted by: The other 35 genders at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (e/H31)

422 I don't know how to spell it, but "yabbles" or some say

yabbos, is boobs, in some parts. Yiddish?

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (N52Qh)

Yabbos. Major league yabbos.

Posted by: Brother Otter, Rush Chairman and damned glad to meet you at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (q1Pj5)

423 I don't know how to spell it, but "yabbles" or some say
yabbos, is boobs, in some parts. Yiddish?
Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (N52Qh)


What word are you trying to say?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (pS94+)

424 404 and I've been picking bottoms since 1965

Posted by: REDACTED at March 24, 2020 03:10 PM (rpxSz)


I just tee em up

where you guys hit em, dunno

Posted by: REDACTED at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (rpxSz)

425 oh yeah... people say "kicked him right in the can."

Football - he got knocked on his can

Posted by: t-bird at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (Ibwur)

426
Heat Seeking Moisture Missile

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (EGyGV)

427 So Republicans and Democrats are arguing how to spend 2T of your dollars.

Should we do it 54-46 or 52-48? What a terrible dilemma.

Name for man parts: gentleman's sausage

Posted by: MJ at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (gAMkn)

428 Jake Tapper is interviewing Joe Biden right now...

-
A meeting of the mindless.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (+y/Ru)

429 A guy friend told me years ago that a goatee on a guy is known as a prison puthy.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (ptqGC)

430 Jake Tapper is interviewing Joe Biden right now
------
The unprintable talks to the unspeakable.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, USS Lone Fire at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (g8Yc+)

431 I'm not her to defend Loeffler, but what she did was legal and done under a blind trust which operates within the boundaries of the 40 Act. Violating that arrangement would have more severe consequences than just simple insider trading. There are a lot of people making hay out of this, but it's going nowhere.

Burr may have less of a defense because he does not have a blind trust. But he also was trading based on information that a LOT of IM's were trading off of (coming out of Asia) at the time. But to prove a case against Burr they would have to prove he violated 10(b) of the 34 Act, and probably 10b-5 and 17a of the 33 Act.

Not gonna happen.

Does it look bad- yep. But appearances don't equal guilt...

Posted by: Marcus T at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (VpIIl)

432 Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (ptqGC)

Shitty. Prayers up.

Posted by: thathalfrican - sucker free on my phone at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (qPd23)

433 >>> The whole high-beams/headlamps/headlights thing is just weird.



Most of them are rectangular, not round like beautiful breastesses. And I've never seen breastesses that light up at night.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (KxVoZ)

Know how I know you are not yet 29?
Posted by: Count de Monet

At the risk of sounding indelicate, we use the "headlights" to mean that her nips were at attention. Sorry, 'ettes.

Posted by: 6-4-3 Turn Two at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (+FPkr)

434 Little Willy

As kids singing that song we were completely oblivious to the, well, you know.

Now you listen to those hilariously smutty lines like "Inside, outside, willy drives 'em silly" and "little willy wears the crown" and think, damn we had NO idea what the hell we were singing about.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (KxVoZ)

435 Well this is pointless as probably will be willowed by the time it posts but
So could have been a plot all along to tank the economy eh?

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (ZCEU2)

436

disagree

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/butin#French


Pish.

(a) looking things up is cheating.

(ii) is butin in 99 Luftballons? No it is not. Beute is.
Posted by: Bandersnatch


we do it the MORON way!

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (SFOr6)

437 I read somewhere that males are very visual, so maybe it all makes sense.

Posted by: tubal at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (90T4r)

438 Pretty soon we're going to be seeing Californians doing Von Trapp Family-style escapes over the border.
_______________

That's what we're afraid of! We have enough kooks here already!

Posted by: ARIZONA at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (k4dH2)

439 >>>(a) looking things up is cheating.


I didn't look it up. "Butin" is part of my active french vocabulary. I only linked it as evidence.

Posted by: ace at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (PbpT7)

440 NOOD

Posted by: Bruce at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (vd8XM)

441 Pretty soon we're going to be seeing Californians doing Von Trapp Family-style escapes over the border.
Posted by: Moonbeam at March 24, 2020 03:14 PM (qe5CM)
++++++++++++++
It's been going on for some time. Trust me, I'm from now deep-blue Colorado.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (e/H31)

442 So by the end of this the world will have had a crash course in hygiene, economics, chemistry, and for us mericans US government

Posted by: FromTheOldDays at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (UNyae)

443 What you guys are missing is that fish tank cleaner has a shitton of electrolytes. It's what underwater plants crave.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (icI8A)

444
What word are you trying to say?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton



Mammary?

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (N52Qh)

445 >>looking things up is cheating.


AtC hardest hit.

Posted by: garrett at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (J8Jff)

446 NOOD

Posted by: Bruce at March 24, 2020 03:15 PM (vd8XM)


How can there be a NOOD when ace is down here with us?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (ptqGC)

447 406 People use to say: She's built like a battleship. Or

Look at those torpedoes.
Posted by: Humphreyrobot at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (6YzHn)

If you look at some of those bra designs in the 50's, the comparison jumps out at you. Literally.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (trdmm)

448 "So three cheers for your Henry or John Thomas!
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake!
Your piece of pork,
Your wife's best friend,
Your chubby or your cock!
You can wrap it up in ribbons,
You can slip it in your sock!
But don't take it out in public or they will put you in the dock,
And you won't
A'come,
A'back!

Oh, thank you....."

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (dfRN6)

449 Firesign Theatre's old skit "beat the reaper!"

Get infected with fatal disease, if you guess which one, you get the antidote! Win!

Posted by: getting the banned old memory at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (LV2j3)

450 Would love to see PDT take to the airwaves and grill the Dems over this budget. The American people would love it.

--

This was tossed around in the EMT. I'm surprised he hasn't done it already, tbh. Nancy's 1400-page leftist wet dream is unconscionable and she needs to be called out on it. They all do.

Get on the tube, list what's she's got in there, and tell the American people she needs to justify that bill to the people who are losing their jobs, their investment $, who are sick or have sick loved ones, and those who are running from store to store to store looking for bread. Make her explain why she's holding up relief for jet fuel standards, for ballot harvesting schemes, for same day voter registration schemes, for union schemes...

Posted by: Lady in Black at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (JoUsr)

451 I thought yarbles was balls?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (QrImU)
-----
Yarbles, I say. Great bolshy yarblockos to thee and thine.

Posted by: Alex de Large at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (g8Yc+)

452 I read that Magnesium is good for you.
And I just realized that my car's wheels are made of,
get this, magnesium. So, I'ma gonna start licking my car's wheels everyday.

can recommend
Posted by: ace


You really want to bring that stuff inside and cook it first. You need a nice flame to clean it.

Posted by: t-bird at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (Ry8mf)

453 I don't know how to spell it, but "yabbles" or some say
yabbos, is boobs, in some parts. Yiddish?
Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (N52Qh)

I thought yarbles was balls?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (QrImU)

********

That would be Beitzim

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (flINI)

454 @realDonaldTrump 7 minutes ago

Price transparency is so important for the people of our Country. In many ways, it will prove to be as important as healthcare itself. A great issue for both Republicans and Democrats. Hopefully it will be approved!


Not sure what this relates to...price gouging? Medical bills?

Posted by: Tami at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (cF8AT)

455
It's funny how guys don't name their cars, women do.

Women don't name the opposite sex's parts, guys do.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (9t0Zz)

+++
I've never given any of my cars names. I don't know of any other female who has either.

Posted by: washrivergal at March 24, 2020 03:16 PM (jSEze)

456 Rather see BID N be interviewed on Mark Levin

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2020 03:17 PM (ZCEU2)

457 71% of the Chinese virus cases in the US are in New York, New Jersey, California, Washington, and Michigan. The other 45 states have 29% of the cases.

Posted by: An Observation at March 24, 2020 03:17 PM (w5sMG)

458 I think it's clear that men have been calling women's naughty bits all kinds of things since the beginning of time. Just that a few things have stuck.


Brian, a ranch hand in the late 1800's was disappointed that milk buckets didn't catch on like he had hoped.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at March 24, 2020 03:17 PM (SENHs)

459

I don't know how to spell it, but "yabbles" or some say

yabbos, is boobs, in some parts. Yiddish?

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a gentle glide applicator tip at March 24, 2020 03:12 PM (N52Qh)

Yabbos. Major league yabbos.
Posted by: Brother Otter, Rush Chairman and damned glad to meet you


Lmao.

Yabbles sounds like some mash-up between yabbos and marbles.

Like some sort of very small, round, unnaturally hard implants. A size too small implants on a skinny, flat girl.

Posted by: imp at March 24, 2020 03:17 PM (SFOr6)

460 It's funny how guys don't name their cars, women do.
Women don't name the opposite sex's parts, guys do.


Women keep their house clean and their car like a garbage truck emptied into it. Men keep their car like a surgery room and their house like a sty.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:17 PM (KZzsI)

461 Just wrote a contact e-mail to my House Rep excoriating the Democrats for their despicable actions over the last few days.

I'll be interested to see her answer and what new and creative lies the Democrats come up with to answer.

I swear the if the Democrats don't lose in a Reagan-like tsunami of disgust against them there is no hope for this country.

Posted by: Mr. Trashbag, Shoggoth and Eater Of Toes at March 24, 2020 03:17 PM (T09ml)

462 when it's cold I call them pointers.

Posted by: wth at March 24, 2020 03:17 PM (v0R5T)

463 ace, just go to an industrial supply store and get a bag of magnesium sulfate. I would use a 1-1 mixture with water and drink in down.
Your health will sparkle.

Posted by: A wet fork lift tire at March 24, 2020 03:17 PM (/LQkF)

464 But Nikki Haley endorses her.

"She understands American leadership," says Nikki.

I wouldn't trust her just based on her ridiculous hair.

Posted by: Dan Smoot's Apprentice at March 24, 2020 03:18 PM (H8QX8)

465 413


So, I walk into my grocery store and what song is playing over the loudspeaker?



"Don't Fear the Reaper."



Perfect.



Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 24, 2020 03:13 PM (pS94+)

When they start playing "Let the bodies hit the floor" it might be time to leave.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at March 24, 2020 03:18 PM (N39Ws)

466 trouser snake

Posted by: azalea city at March 24, 2020 03:19 PM (WX+x0)

467 I have no problem with selling one's own stock. The possible issue I have with it is the amount and who is buying it. If it's my fund manager who is buying it , I have a problem.

Posted by: Kilroy wasn't here at March 24, 2020 03:19 PM (5IbVn)

468 318 Women don't seem to have as many nicknames for men's parts. At least, not that they are sharing.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 24, 2020 03:05 PM (KZzsI)
------------------------------
Wife was Tri-Delta. Preferred term was turkey neck.

Posted by: olddog in mo, uckfay ancercay at March 24, 2020 03:20 PM (Dhht7)

469 435 Told ya didn't I?

Posted by: Skip at March 24, 2020 03:20 PM (ZCEU2)

470 Government employees, except first responders, should not get paid their salaries until this shutdown is over.

Government officials should be on the same side as their citizens.

Not paid to control them.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at March 24, 2020 03:20 PM (sy5kK)

471 @Rasmussen_Poll
Following Following @Rasmussen_Poll
More
Public Service Notice:

Do not ingest fish tank cleaner under any circumstances.

Or any grade of gasoline for that matter.

And avoid media pundits from now on who pushed this gross & dangerous distortion.

Thank You.

(Look at attached tweet)

https://tinyurl.com/rrpwo5z

Posted by: Tami at March 24, 2020 03:22 PM (cF8AT)

472 Do not ingest fish tank cleaner under any circumstances.

Or any grade of gasoline for that matter.




But diesel is still ok, correct?

Posted by: rickb223 at March 24, 2020 03:26 PM (FZxI4)

473
WANDA there is something fishy going on,better call KEN....................................


who shat in my TANK.........Bring on the snails.

Posted by: saf at March 24, 2020 03:26 PM (5IHGB)

474 Tami
How about E85 gasoline, surely that's acceptable!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at March 24, 2020 03:32 PM (BiNEL)

475 when it's cold I call them pointers.
Posted by: wth at March 24, 2020 03:17 PM

+++++


In one of the MHI novels protagonist Oliver Chadwick Gardenier calls one of his many girlfriends "Points"

Posted by: Mr. Trashbag, Shoggoth and Eater Of Toes at March 24, 2020 03:33 PM (T09ml)

476 Hey, Nancy has dropped her pork-laden bill and will allow a vote on teh senate bill.


I guess the heat in the kitchen got to her. (Likely she was receiving phone calls from reps, mayors, and governors that were somewhat unpleasant.)

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Is Sponsoring Methcalibur - The Musical!! at March 24, 2020 03:38 PM (D2IX6)

477 In one of the MHI novels protagonist Oliver Chadwick Gardenier calls one of his many girlfriends "Points"
Posted by: Mr. Trashbag, Shoggoth and Eater Of Toes at March 24, 2020 03:33 PM (T09ml)


And?

Posted by: Bob Seger at March 24, 2020 03:40 PM (wGeit)

478 Isn't Amazon higher now than it was before the crisis? Don't most CEOs have regular sell programs where they are selling a fixed amount each month, regardless of the share price? One of the reasons they do this is to avoid any mention of insider trading.
Also, in regards to the senators, is there any non-public information they were privy to? It look like anything after 1/31 there was a China Ban. Anything before 2/06 there was an impeachment trial. An impeachment trial is a catalyst to sell stocks, especially when you think it is going to drag on for months calling all these fake witnesses.

Posted by: wferrin at March 24, 2020 03:42 PM (UjYaa)

479 The SEC should not be looking at Insider Trading of a global pandemic but should be looking at market manipulation jamming stock prices down.

Posted by: wferrin at March 24, 2020 03:43 PM (UjYaa)

480 People should also be asking Abortion Kelly about the WNBA team she owns and her support of their contributions to Planned Infanticide, particularly in light of her commercials claiming to be an ultra-conservative pro-lifer.

Posted by: Bert G at March 24, 2020 03:46 PM (OMsf+)

481 But diesel is still ok, correct?



I'm fine, thanks for asking.

Posted by: Diesel Jones at March 24, 2020 03:49 PM (0CeRG)

482 269 Now Jerry Cans, or saddle bags? Different story
Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 24, 2020 02:57 PM (z79tQ)

Saddle bags are more appropriate for Nancy Pelosi's boobs.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 24, 2020 03:00 PM (QrImU)

NO, more like an old sock with a golf ball at the bottom

Posted by: Pissed off Patriot at March 24, 2020 04:33 PM (JNTt1)

(Jump to top of page)






Processing 0.06, elapsed 0.0611 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0121 seconds, 490 records returned.
Page size 229 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.7 alpha.



MuNuvians
MeeNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat