aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
CBD:
cbd.aoshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com
Saturday Overnight Open Thread (5/11/19) Listener Sponsored Content Edition
A nun walks into the Mother Superior's office and plonks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
“What troubles you, Sister?” asked the Mother Superior. “I thought this was the day you spent with your family.”
“It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.”
“I seem to recall that,” the Mother Superior agreed. “So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?"
"Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I took the Lord’s name in vain today!” “Goodness, Sister!” gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. “You must tell me all about it!”
“Well, we were on the fifth tee, and this hole is a monster, Mother Superior, a 540 yard par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green .. and I hit the drive of my life. The sweetest swing I’ve ever made. And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted .. and it hits a bird in mid-flight!”
“Oh my!” commiserated the Mother Superior. “How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!”
“No, that wasn’t it,” admitted the Sister. “While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!”
“Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!” sympathized the Mother Superior."
“But I didn’t, Mother!” sobbed the Sister. “And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!” “So that’s when you cursed,” said the Mother Superior with a knowing smile."
“Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished, “because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!”
The Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said .. “You missed the SON OF A BITCHING putt, didn’t you?" H/T ibguy
AUNT CAROL The teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hostaed we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'don't count your chickens before they're hostaed.'"
"That was a fine story Sarah. Joey, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me a story about my Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy hands, and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?" "Stay the fuck away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking. H/T Stan
The ONT isn't quite sure what to say other than, WTF. H/T redc1c4
Smart Military Blog Material.Tanks like you have never seen. H/T Hank Curmudgeon
Missed it by that much.......
Love and Genius Award Winners.
Police went back to the apartment on May 7 and located the girl inside. She was naked at the time. Police said the girl told them she and Shelton were planning to get married. According to a criminal complaint, Shelton told investigators he was speaking to the girl on Instagram, rented a car and drove to Paducah, arriving at the girl's home on May 2 Police also said the girl was wearing a court-ordered ankle bracelet, which Shelton cut off with scissors and then drove her back to Glassport. Shelton is scheduled to have a preliminary hearing on May 21. A criminal complaint shows that he is charged with a felony count of interference with custody of children, along with a misdemeanor obstruction charge.
Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Redneck Yacht Club. H/T Ladyl
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Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: trev006 at May 11, 2019 09:42 PM (OnEJV)
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 11, 2019 09:42 PM (4knXT)
Posted by: trev006 at May 11, 2019 09:43 PM (OnEJV)
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 11, 2019 09:44 PM (4knXT)
Posted by: trev006 at May 11, 2019 09:45 PM (OnEJV)
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 11, 2019 09:44 PM (4knXT
I don't think it has, but hell I could be wrong, just ask the women in my life
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 09:45 PM (aA3+G)
I don't think it has, but hell I could be wrong, just ask the women in my life
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 09:45 PM (aA3+G)
---------
Sorry. Could be the Pinot Grigio talking.
*hic*
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 11, 2019 09:46 PM (4knXT)
Watching Bride of Frankenstein on Svengoolie. They're at the part where they thunderstorm is coming up and they're letting the kites fly to catch the lightning.
1.21 GW to animate a corpse.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 09:48 PM (f1Vqw)
*hic*
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 11, 2019 09:46 PM (4knXT)
No need to apologize, have a swig or two for me would you?
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 09:48 PM (aA3+G)
Posted by: zeera new book, link in nic at May 11, 2019 09:51 PM (GuGrG)
Posted by: zeera new book, link in nic at May 11, 2019 09:51 PM (GuGrG)
#NEW on @OANN: An FBI search warrant reveals a plot of land in Macon County, Alabama, is being used as a "military-style obstacle course" for training terrorists. The land is owned by Siraj Wahhaj, the same man who ran the training camp in New Mexico uncovered last year.
Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at May 11, 2019 09:52 PM (BqBId)
Me: "Well, did you have to go potty?"
Pookette: "Yeah, Grandma took me."
Me: "So I was right, you had to go."
*pause*
Pookette: "Are there any fries left?"
*my eyes roll out of their sockets*
Posted by: pookysgirl at May 11, 2019 09:53 PM (XKZwp)
Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at May 11, 2019 09:52 PM (BqBId)
--------
The f*cker is the Ray Kroc of terrorist training camps.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 11, 2019 09:53 PM (4knXT)
Posted by: Sock Monkey posing as a hoser at May 11, 2019 09:53 PM (wF8/p)
She's alive! Alive!
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 09:54 PM (f1Vqw)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 09:56 PM (0yz8p)
Posted by: clutch at May 11, 2019 09:56 PM (kiSdp)
British pubs that probably don't exist, but should:
"Lord Sphincter's Ales & Chip Shop"
"The Thatcher"
"Bright Red Bum"
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 09:57 PM (miE9U)
Posted by: Sandy from the Pet thread at May 11, 2019 09:58 PM (f3oO4)
As always, the left doesn't give a fuck about illegals or anyone. It's all about power and money for them.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 11, 2019 09:58 PM (FiUMj)
"Tina Delgado is alive! Alive!!"
Supposedly Don would never explain where it was from or even what it meant at all.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 09:58 PM (miE9U)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 09:56 PM (0yz8p)
___
Really? If I could live my entire life within walking distance to an ocean beach I'd be happy. That is my retirement plan. Live by the beach, stop giving a fuck about anything outside my immediate world
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 11, 2019 09:59 PM (FiUMj)
True story, golfing with a few friends, a fox picked up one friend's golf ball, runs towards the hole. Drops the ball close to the hole. Looks back, picks it up and runs off with it.
Oh, and there is a Redneck Yacht Club on the lake my lake cottage is at.
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at May 11, 2019 10:01 PM (Rz2Nc)
Another reason to like Trump. Thanks, NYTimes. And bite my butt.
Posted by: nerdygirl at May 11, 2019 10:01 PM (+lVUW)
I spoil her.
Posted by: Blutarski at May 11, 2019 10:01 PM (+Tibp)
*my eyes roll out of their sockets*
Posted by: pookysgirl at May 11, 2019 09:53 PM (XKZwp)
...are there?
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 10:02 PM (RHDdi)
Posted by: nerdygirl at May 11, 2019 10:01 PM (+lVUW)
Feisty on a Saturday night. Thumbs up!
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 10:03 PM (aA3+G)
Posted by: davidt at May 11, 2019 10:03 PM (w/wKz)
Posted by: nerdygirl at May 11, 2019 10:03 PM (+lVUW)
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 10:03 PM (RHDdi)
Posted by: zeera with a new book, link in nic at May 11, 2019 10:04 PM (GuGrG)
Posted by: davidt at May 11, 2019 10:05 PM (w/wKz)
Posted by: pookysgirl at May 11, 2019 10:05 PM (XKZwp)
********
Is it possible that this dude (who came out west from the Atlanta area if I recall) got the property in New Mexico thinking he was outside of the U.S.?
Not out of the realm of possibility.
Nah, couldn't be, right?
Posted by: Muldoon at May 11, 2019 10:06 PM (mvenn)
Actually I'm sitting at home and bored shitless. Yay me.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 10:07 PM (NWiLs)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 11, 2019 09:58 PM (FiUMj)
Let's get serious here, if you have enough money and power, what else is there worth caring about!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:07 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: nerdygirl at May 11, 2019 10:03 PM (+lVUW)
Starts off solid, goes to shit in the later seasons.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 10:08 PM (NWiLs)
And now Star Trek TOS. It's the "thoughts become reality" planet episode, "Shore Leave".
Omicron Delta region.
Kirk is sitting in his chair and complains that his back is hurting. The sexy yeomen in the red skirt gives him a rub down.
Did the babes in red skirts get kilt right off like the dudes in red shirts?
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 10:08 PM (NMAzL)
Posted by: Off the reservation at May 11, 2019 10:08 PM (vWMNq)
Posted by: redc1c4 at May 11, 2019 10:08 PM (MasTK)
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 11, 2019 10:08 PM (0ly5J)
There are so many f'n people here I can't stand it. It's hot, sandy, the Sun is too bright, and there are crabs. I just paid $9 for a six pack of Yuengling. This is not my idea of fun and there is nothing relaxing about it. Two days at the beach and I am done.
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:09 PM (0yz8p)
If I could walk every day in the surf on a sandy beach and smell clean salt air, I'd be a happy man!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:09 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 10:09 PM (NMAzL)
Posted by: Drunk,Jolly and Stinky in Yorkshire at May 11, 2019 10:09 PM (k3N8X)
Florida Man could have a ball on the Shore Leave planet.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 10:09 PM (NMAzL)
Yes. Yes I could.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 10:10 PM (NWiLs)
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:10 PM (htgmn)
That happened the last time they played the Sharks in the playoffs too. Nothing in the tank.
Posted by: mnw at May 11, 2019 10:10 PM (Cssks)
Posted by: Off the reservation at May 11, 2019 10:10 PM (vWMNq)
Pro-tip:
Don't buy your beer close to the beach!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:10 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:09 PM (0yz8p)
Where are you at? It sounds horrible.
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at May 11, 2019 10:11 PM (Rz2Nc)
"Tina Delgado is alive! Alive!!"
Supposedly Don would never explain where it was from or even what it meant at all.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 09:58 PM (miE9U)
---
i 'member him... 93 KHJ, Los Angeles!
who here knows, W/O Google, the "phrase that pays" that you had to answer your phone with?
Posted by: redc1c4 at May 11, 2019 10:11 PM (MasTK)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:11 PM (0yz8p)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 10:08 PM (NWiLs)
A cromulent summary!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:11 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 11, 2019 10:12 PM (3H9h1)
*looks up real estate prices on the Aleutian Islands...*
Posted by: t-bird at May 11, 2019 10:12 PM (mhs6e)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:12 PM (0yz8p)
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 11, 2019 10:12 PM (0ly5J)
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:12 PM (htgmn)
Posted by: Off the reservation at May 11, 2019 10:12 PM (vWMNq)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 10:13 PM (aA3+G)
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 10:13 PM (RHDdi)
And Sulu finds a revolver and starts shooting off. Kirk takes his toy away.
Let's be glad the planet is bringing Sulu's real thoughts to life. Buttplugs, etc.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 10:13 PM (NMAzL)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:14 PM (miE9U)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 10:13 PM (aA3+G)
I'll tell you later.
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:15 PM (htgmn)
I also still miss Rick Dees.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:15 PM (miE9U)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:12 PM (0yz8p)
Well, that stinks. I'm sorry you're having a horrible time.
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at May 11, 2019 10:16 PM (Rz2Nc)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 10:16 PM (aA3+G)
If so, say hi to Jean Schulz for me :-)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:17 PM (miE9U)
Freaked, stop talking about my vajayjay!
Posted by: Lena Dunham at May 11, 2019 10:18 PM (+lVUW)
This needed an "elderly Eskimo" sock.
Posted by: punchlines at May 11, 2019 10:18 PM (hGqZ9)
Posted by: nerdygirl at May 11, 2019 10:19 PM (+lVUW)
https://youtu.be/VcRXOdqwxwE
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2019 10:19 PM (LqbDl)
This needed an "elderly Eskimo" sock.
Posted by: punchlines at May 11, 2019 10:18 PM (hGqZ9)
I considered "Asshole Genie", but then that brings to mind some kind of genie who comes out of an asshole.
You know what, sure, why not.
Posted by: Asshole Genie at May 11, 2019 10:20 PM (RHDdi)
Sometimes a nifty Chevy marine 350 would make it go places. Or sink.
The Ohio River is a bitch.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 11, 2019 10:20 PM (3H9h1)
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:20 PM (htgmn)
"Friendly's Ice Cream And Boxing Ring"
"Le Panty Hose Patisserie By Qdpsteve"
"Lena Dunham's Seafood Buffet"
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:20 PM (miE9U)
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:21 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:21 PM (0yz8p)
Fortunately, there are a FEW women celebrities who can support Alyssa's new public protest movement with no personal inconvenience whatsoever!
Tank Abrams
Rosie O'Donnell
Elizabeth Warren
Kathy Griffin, and OF COURSE! ...
HRC
Posted by: mnw at May 11, 2019 10:21 PM (Cssks)
Posted by: jmel at May 11, 2019 10:22 PM (OeWgo)
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:20 PM (htgmn)
Not to worry, my sister is named Carol.
We used to be close!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:22 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:20 PM (miE9U)
Friendly's clown cone sundaes were the best.
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 10:23 PM (RHDdi)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:23 PM (miE9U)
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:21 PM (f3oO4)
No shit!!!
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 10:23 PM (aA3+G)
Posted by: jmel at May 11, 2019 10:22 PM (OeWgo)
GRAND-Daughter turned 18 last week, I'm still in shock!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:23 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 10:23 PM (NWiLs)
Starts off solid, goes to shit in the later seasons.
Posted by: Insomniac
-----
Agreed. But have to add -
worst
ending
ever.
Posted by: Tonypete at May 11, 2019 10:24 PM (Y4EXg)
Hah. Bones is making the moves on the redskirt hottie.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 10:24 PM (NMAzL)
But at least pepper spray is on sale at Dollar Tree ;-)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:23 PM (miE9U)
SO...
how late are they open?
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:24 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:25 PM (miE9U)
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:25 PM (htgmn)
Hottie, changing clothes: "Don't peek, doctor...tee hee".
Bones: "I'm a doctor. If I peek, it's in the line of duty."
He peeks.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 10:26 PM (NMAzL)
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 10:27 PM (TdMsT)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:25 PM (miE9U)
This has been a good day for me on AoS. I haven't laughed this much for far too long!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:28 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Evasiveboat42'
Well thanks for that. It's my own fault for agreeing to come, so I should make the best of things. It's an uphill climb. Really, a deserted desert isle would be preferable.
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:28 PM (0yz8p)
Posted by: kbdabear at May 11, 2019 10:28 PM (0Ntuf)
Ask your doctor if Laughter is right for you!
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:29 PM (miE9U)
She's single and probably not real happy about it.
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:29 PM (htgmn)
Posted by: davidt at May 11, 2019 10:29 PM (w/wKz)
Evening all.
I'd just like to point out that one of the Twitterers in that link, Colonel Texas Woman, who for some reason changes her name on occasion, is one gorgeous woman. A fine Texas piece of ass as you can see in her Twitter pics.
Sadly, for some reason, she's married to a Frenchie.
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 10:29 PM (6MEjT)
Ask your doctor if Laughter is right for you!
Posted by: qdpsteve
-----
ObummerCare doesn't cover it.
Posted by: Tonypete at May 11, 2019 10:29 PM (Y4EXg)
Just park yourself in the adult diapers section on EBT day.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:31 PM (miE9U)
Bones: "I'm a doctor. If I peek, it's in the line of duty."
He peeks.
********
Doctor (wielding stethoscope): Okay, young lady a couple nice big breaths...
Patient (blushing): Why thank you tho much you thilly Doctor!
Posted by: Muldoon at May 11, 2019 10:31 PM (mvenn)
Posted by: ALH
If they don't call it "rounding up", they should.
Posted by: mikeski at May 11, 2019 10:31 PM (P1f+c)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:33 PM (0yz8p)
Ask your doctor if Laughter is right for you!
Posted by: qdpsteve
ObummerCare doesn't cover it.
Posted by: Tonypete
But HillaryCare does.
Just watch the election night coverage again.
Posted by: mikeski at May 11, 2019 10:33 PM (P1f+c)
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:25 PM (htgmn)
I didn't even know that was a thing. I thought it was a set amount of rounds and that was it.
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 11, 2019 10:34 PM (0ly5J)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:35 PM (0yz8p)
I have an upcoming vacation that sounds familiar
Posted by: Fat Jack at May 11, 2019 10:36 PM (aA3+G)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:28 PM (0yz8p)
If you're there with spouse and/or children, yep make the best of it. God willing, there will be other vacations.
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at May 11, 2019 10:36 PM (Rz2Nc)
She's single and probably not real happy about it.
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:29 PM (htgmn)
---
i was late to the tweet thread, but i told her that conservative men already knew not to stick in crazy...
well, most of us anyway.
unless they are Morons.
Posted by: redc1c4 at May 11, 2019 10:36 PM (MasTK)
Her Majesty had a brutal drive today. Miserable weather, rain and lightning all the way from Texas. She planned to get to Knoxville tonight but only got as far as Tuscaloosa before she gave up.
So it's another slogging drive tomorrow. Keep her in your prayers. It's not her I worry about, it's the idiots on the road.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2019 10:36 PM (X3lUd)
Oh, and don't eat Snickers or HoHo's while using Laughter
Posted by: Muldoon at May 11, 2019 10:36 PM (mvenn)
Ask your doctor if Laughter is right for you!
Posted by: qdpsteve
ObummerCare doesn't cover it.
Posted by: Tonypete
But HillaryCare does.
Just watch the election night coverage again.
Posted by: mikeski at May 11, 2019 10:33 PM (P1f+c)
Bernie says you WILL all laugh in the camps!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:37 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 10:38 PM (NMAzL)
Posted by: ALH
-----
Well, it's better than the "Sudden Death" ending.
Posted by: Scott Westgarth at May 11, 2019 10:38 PM (Y4EXg)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:39 PM (miE9U)
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2019 10:36 PM (X3lUd)
Hadrian, that's some hard traveling, prayers up!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:39 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Tonypete at May 11, 2019 10:40 PM (Y4EXg)
Laughter is the best medicine.
Ask your doctor if Laughter is right for you!
Posted by: qdpsteve
Do not take laughter if you are allergic to laughter.
Posted by: Robert Plant at May 11, 2019 10:40 PM (aKsyK)
Ask your doctor if Laughter is right for you!
Posted by: qdpsteve
---------
Does anyone remember laughter?
Posted by: R. Plant at May 11, 2019 10:40 PM (4knXT)
Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 11, 2019 10:40 PM (gC2IV)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:41 PM (miE9U)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 10:41 PM (aA3+G)
Posted by: wing at May 11, 2019 10:41 PM (JFzNN)
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:29 PM (htgmn)
I'm fairly certain she is married. Poor sap.
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at May 11, 2019 10:41 PM (Rz2Nc)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 10:42 PM (miE9U)
Posted by: Splunge at May 11, 2019 10:42 PM (ed8K1)
It was funnier than that, she urged the sex strike until women were allowed to make their own decisions regarding sex.
Posted by: t-bird at May 11, 2019 10:43 PM (n6bs1)
Not here that's for sure. It's not a vacation if the whole time you wish you weren't there. I felt the same way after 2 days in Hawaii. Ready to go home. Mrs f'd likes it though, so I will endeavor to persevere.
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:44 PM (0yz8p)
Vacation? Like where you go somewhere for relaxation from the rut of routine? Sounds nice, must try it someday. Har, har.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2019 10:44 PM (X3lUd)
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at May 11, 2019 10:44 PM (Rz2Nc)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2019 10:44 PM (LqbDl)
Posted by: Muldoon at May 11, 2019 10:45 PM (mvenn)
Vacation? Like where you go somewhere for relaxation from the rut of routine? Sounds nice, must try it someday. Har, har.
Don't dog shows count?
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 10:45 PM (aA3+G)
Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 11, 2019 10:46 PM (DMUuz)
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:29 PM (htgmn)
I'm fairly certain she is married. Poor sap.
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at May 11, 2019 10:41 PM (Rz2Nc)
Every time these dumb broads protest by going on a sex strike, it's their soyboys who end up suffering. This pleases me to no end.
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 10:46 PM (6MEjT)
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 11, 2019 10:46 PM (4p0NB)
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2019 10:46 PM (X3lUd)
We drew with caulk on the driveway, played whiffle ball, threw grass clippings on each other, splashed all the water out of my little fish pond, rode scooters, jumped rope, had tea and hotdogs, and then ran around the yard until everyone was sweating and tired and I read Harold and the Purple Crayon and Ferdinand the Bull to them.
Honest to Pete, one of my most fun days ever.
Posted by: Tonypete at May 11, 2019 10:47 PM (Y4EXg)
Posted by: Braenyard at May 11, 2019 10:47 PM (zNIcM)
There's a dog show here! Just take a stroll on the beach. Somewhere someone is making a killing on bikinis for manatees.
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:47 PM (0yz8p)
Lysistrata anyone?
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2019 10:47 PM (LqbDl)
What could go wrong?
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2019 10:44 PM (LqbDl)
Anna, the closest you're gonna get in this world is the TXMoMe. It's calling you!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:48 PM (f3oO4)
It was funnier than that, she urged the sex strike until women were allowed to make their own decisions regarding sex.
Posted by: t-bird at May 11, 2019 10:43 PM (n6bs1)
Wait.....it's MEN who get to make the decisions regarding sex??
WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN TOLD THIS????
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 10:48 PM (6MEjT)
What could go wrong?
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2019 10:44 PM (LqbDl)
I'm picturing a fire barrel under an abandoned overpass, krylon-on-cardboard sign:
SHOAᴚ LEAF PALNET
MORONS WƎLCOM
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 10:49 PM (RHDdi)
That's my kind of vacation. Except for caulking the driveway.
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 10:50 PM (0yz8p)
Posted by: Sock Monkey posing as a hoser at May 11, 2019 10:50 PM (wF8/p)
Posted by: Braenyard at May 11, 2019 10:47 PM (zNIcM)
It's the design of the loop that is at issue.
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 10:50 PM (6MEjT)
Contact the law firm of Harrier and Magots for more information if you think you may be eligible.
Posted by: mnw at May 11, 2019 10:52 PM (Cssks)
About two years ago, my VZ DSL went TU, but I lucked out and got a fabulous field technician that knew WTF he was doing, he worked over the weekend, squared everything away, and it was fine for almost two years. Now it's intermittent and erratic. I'm almost ready for Xfinity!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:52 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian
If you're a hopeless masochist.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2019 10:46 PM (X3lUd)
I actually liked dogs shows, when I showed. I thought most of the people there were really nice.
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at May 11, 2019 10:52 PM (Rz2Nc)
Well, it's better than the "Sudden Death" ending.
Posted by: Scott Westgarth at May 11, 2019 10:38 PM (Y4EXg)
Indeed
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:52 PM (htgmn)
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 11, 2019 10:53 PM (4p0NB)
********
It looks like a pair of scissors. What am I missing?
Posted by: Muldoon at May 11, 2019 10:53 PM (mvenn)
Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 11, 2019 10:53 PM (gC2IV)
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 11, 2019 10:53 PM (4p0NB)
Commies don't have names.
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 10:54 PM (RHDdi)
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 11, 2019 10:53 PM (4p0NB)
I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, to hear that!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:54 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 11, 2019 10:55 PM (4p0NB)
Is it like putting your finger in an electrical outlet?
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:56 PM (htgmn)
And Bones comes back, along with two babes in feathery costumes. Feather bras.
And covered belly buttons. IIRC, they couldn't show belly buttons.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 10:56 PM (NMAzL)
Posted by: Sock Monkey posing as a hoser at May 11, 2019 10:57 PM (wF8/p)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 10:57 PM (aA3+G)
Posted by: Muldoon at May 11, 2019 10:53 PM (mvenn)
What else sticks straight out, and is spherical in shape with a couple round things beneath it?
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 10:57 PM (6MEjT)
Behind castor oil, Mercurochrome and Pepto Bismol.
Posted by: Muldoon at May 11, 2019 10:57 PM (mvenn)
On Shore Leave Planet, you can stick it in crazy. And live. They'll patch you right up.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 10:57 PM (NMAzL)
Is it like putting your finger in an electrical outlet?
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:56 PM (htgmn)
Finger in an electrical socket is a day in the park compared to dick & crazy
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 10:58 PM (aA3+G)
Posted by: Tonypete
That's what it's all about
Posted by: Sock Monkey posing as a hoser at May 11, 2019 10:57 PM (wF8/p)[i/]
Yes, give thanks and count your blessings!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 10:59 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 10:56 PM (NMAzL)
IIRC that was the same issue on I Dream of Jeannie.
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 10:59 PM (6MEjT)
Posted by: Quint at May 11, 2019 11:00 PM (n13/j)
Posted by: ALH
----
No. That only burns for an hour or so.
Posted by: Tonypete at May 11, 2019 11:00 PM (Y4EXg)
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 10:57 PM (6MEjT)
Can I have another hint?
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 11:00 PM (htgmn)
Is it like putting your finger in an electrical outlet?
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:56 PM (htgmn)
Well that depends....can an electrical outlet slice you up like a tomato?
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 11:01 PM (6MEjT)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 11, 2019 10:58 PM (aA3+G)
Usually you can get your finger out of an electrical socket and survive!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:01 PM (f3oO4)
******
Dang, now I feel like I'm taking a Rohrschach test and flunking it. It sort of looks like an elongated Space Shuttle?
Posted by: Muldoon at May 11, 2019 11:01 PM (mvenn)
Behind castor oil, Mercurochrome and Pepto Bismol.
Posted by: Muldoon at May 11, 2019 10:57 PM (mvenn)
Dad really like putting Liquid Heat on bumps and bruises. Well, he laughed, maybe that was the best medicine.
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at May 11, 2019 11:01 PM (Rz2Nc)
Posted by: mnw at May 11, 2019 11:02 PM (Cssks)
Is it like putting your finger in an electrical outlet?
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:56 PM (htgmn)
Worse.
Far, far worse.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:04 PM (NWiLs)
And now Buck Rogers. Erin Grey used to stimulate young Publius.
And some Star Trek TOS lore I remember. They had some hottie in some skimpy outfit, some alien chick Kirk was going to hook up with, and she had a wardrobe malfunction. Tits just popped right out.
There is a scene of Kirk, Spock, and Bones with shit-eating grins on their faces that made the cut from that. Spock was smiling.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 11:04 PM (NMAzL)
Posted by: Muldoon at May 11, 2019 11:01 PM (mvenn)
LOL.
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 11:04 PM (6MEjT)
This is explained in some detail, in a YT video called "The Hot/Crazy Matrix". You should check it out.
Every female is at least a four (4) crazy on the 1-10 scale. In fact I think it starts on four.
Posted by: Common Tater at May 11, 2019 11:05 PM (yBWAd)
Posted by: Common Tater at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (yBWAd)
Sticking your dick in crazy can ruin your entire fucking life.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (NWiLs)
Posted by: Quint at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (n13/j)
Posted by: freaked at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (0yz8p)
Sticking your dick in crazy can ruin your entire fucking life.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (NWiLs)
And yet it happens so often.
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (TdMsT)
Posted by: Common Tater at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (yBWAd)
Hairdressers.
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 11:09 PM (6MEjT)
Posted by: trev006 at May 11, 2019 09:43 PM (OnEJV)
I loved that series which I only saw because my daughter was binge watching it on Netflix. But I don't remember the lawyer character all that much. I just enjoyed the action, the interesting question of right/wrong, and the clever camera angles.
Posted by: Iris at May 11, 2019 11:09 PM (6lKe4)
Is it like putting your finger in an electrical outlet?
Posted by: ALH at May 11, 2019 10:56 PM (htgmn)
You know that friend who's always getting back together with that one guy who should be in a lab somewhere so scientists can learn why he's the way he is? Who never listens to you or any of your friends when they tell her to fake her own death, move to another city under an assumed name, and never think of him again because that will be easier and less expensive than hooking up with that asshole again?
Nothing like that but exactly like that.
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 11:10 PM (RHDdi)
I looked it up. The wardrobe malfunction happened to one of Mudd's women. Tits popped right out.
Now, about the belly buttons. Uhuru, well, the evil universe Uhuru showed her belly button. They kept the Standards and Practices guy off the set to shoot it. Long lunch.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 11:10 PM (NMAzL)
Posted by: Common Tater at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (yBWAd)
A friendly word of advice, avoid Thai strippers named Solange!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:12 PM (f3oO4)
Checked into the ONT last night without noticing the title or byline and scrolling down, saw the top of an old barn. I expected, next, to see a 'Murrican flag...
...boy, was I surprised!
Posted by: Spun & Murky at May 11, 2019 11:13 PM (4DCSq)
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 11, 2019 11:04 PM (NMAzL)
They could've just blamed it on a transporter malfunction.
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 11:14 PM (RHDdi)
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 11, 2019 11:15 PM (JDG/a)
Keep drinking and following the ONT...
Or
Attempting sanity and going to bed so that I'm quasi-functional tomorrow?
What to do, what to do...
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:15 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Evasiveboat42 at May 11, 2019 11:15 PM (Rz2Nc)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 11, 2019 11:15 PM (Eokhf)
Gotcherself a little side hustle, do ya MisHum? ;-)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 11, 2019 11:16 PM (miE9U)
It's the design of the loop that is at issue.
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 10:50 PM (6MEjT)
------------------------
By all means yes. And considering Texas, to whom are they pointing that giant bird?
Posted by: Braenyard at May 11, 2019 11:17 PM (zNIcM)
Sticking your dick in crazy can ruin your entire fucking life.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (NWiLs)
------------
*fist bump*
Word.
Posted by: Blake - used vacation salesman at May 11, 2019 11:18 PM (WEBkv)
Sticking your dick in crazy can ruin your entire fucking life.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (NWiLs)
And yet it happens so often.
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (TdMsT)
Yeah, well...unfortunately, some of them are really good at masking it until it's too late - see, e.g., my ex-wife.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:18 PM (NWiLs)
Sticking your dick in crazy can ruin your entire fucking life.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:08 PM (NWiLs)
And yet it happens so often.
Posted by: Ladyl
----
Lady parts are like Kryptonite for some guys. They lose their powers of reason and just can't say "No".
Posted by: Tonypete at May 11, 2019 11:21 PM (Y4EXg)
Posted by: navybrat, occasional commentater at May 11, 2019 11:22 PM (w7KSn)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:23 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 11, 2019 11:23 PM (CDGwz)
Posted by: ibguy at May 11, 2019 11:24 PM (EHVbt)
Posted by: Sock Monkey posing as a hoser at May 11, 2019 11:24 PM (wF8/p)
Posted by: Tonypete at May 11, 2019 11:21 PM (Y4EXg
That's what we count on!
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:24 PM (TdMsT)
Posted by: Bearded Spock at May 11, 2019 11:25 PM (w/wKz)
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:24 PM (TdMsT)
----------------
yeah, but when it comes to ette's, there's no reason to be worried.
Right?
Posted by: Blake - used vacation salesman at May 11, 2019 11:25 PM (WEBkv)
My boss and I were in for lunch and he asked what the name of the restaurant meant in English and the server said "The Loose Donkey".
I reflexively said, "I've heard stories about Tiajuana and I think you guys are doing it wrong".
My boss nearly choked on his tortilla chip and the server started laughing. The server actually wound up giving us two free shots of Corralejo tequila later, which was probably wrong because it was lunchtime, but what the heck, when in Rome.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 11, 2019 11:25 PM (JDG/a)
Thanks for another funtabulous ONT, MisHum!
Posted by: ibguy at May 11, 2019 11:24 PM (EHVbt)
Hey, li'l bro! I hope all is well with you and your family!
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:26 PM (TdMsT)
yet you sweet ladies all claim you are not devious...
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:26 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Common
Where are the Persian and Colombian girls on this scale.
Posted by: Jean at May 11, 2019 11:26 PM (25Dt7)
Posted by: Just the punchline at May 11, 2019 11:26 PM (u82oZ)
yeah, but when it comes to ette's, there's no reason to be worried.
Right?
Posted by: Blake - used vacation salesman at May 11, 2019 11:25 PM (WEBkv)
No reason whatsoever!
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:27 PM (TdMsT)
Posted by: kallisto at May 11, 2019 11:27 PM (rpZ5G)
Posted by: Jean at M
where were the born?
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:27 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 11, 2019 11:28 PM (CDGwz)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:28 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:28 PM (TdMsT)
Posted by: That irredeemable guy who always says... at May 11, 2019 11:29 PM (EgshT)
I sense a disturbance in the Force......
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 11:29 PM (6MEjT)
Posted by: kallisto at May 11, 2019 11:27 PM (rpZ5G)
--------------
YOLO and being with crazy seems sort of axiomatic.
Posted by: Blake - used vacation salesman at May 11, 2019 11:29 PM (WEBkv)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at May 11, 2019 11:29 PM (Rarvo)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:29 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Sock Monkey posing as a hoser at May 11, 2019 11:24 PM (wF8/p)
A gentlemoron never asks, and an 'ette never tells.
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 11:29 PM (RHDdi)
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 11, 2019 11:29 PM (4p0NB)
Posted by: Jean at May 11, 2019 11:26 PM (25Dt7)
I think they are not comparable to Thai (real) ladies
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:30 PM (f3oO4)
But the consequences...
Posted by: davidt at May 11, 2019 11:30 PM (w/wKz)
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 11, 2019 11:31 PM (u82oZ)
Will anyone be affected?
Posted by: Braenyard at May 11, 2019 11:31 PM (zNIcM)
Take another few bong hits, and I think you'll make it through the night!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:32 PM (f3oO4)
someone might be forgiven for giving it to hot and crazy, but never to not hot and crazy.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:32 PM (MTjB1)
"all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
x1000
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:29 PM (MTjB1)
Jack probably lives a lot longer and avoids the Lorena Bobbit treatment.
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 11:32 PM (6MEjT)
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at M
lol
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:33 PM (MTjB1)
But the consequences...
Posted by: davidt at May 11, 2019 11:30 PM (w/wKz)
--------------
Yeah, the whole "Act in haste, repent in leisure" implies there will be leisure. Not when going up against crazy.
Posted by: Blake - used vacation salesman at May 11, 2019 11:33 PM (WEBkv)
Was that Alyssa Milano'd husband? Enquiring minds and all that.
Posted by: NaCly Dog
------
*?*
I have no idea who she is...or what the question is about. Help me out.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 11, 2019 11:33 PM (xSo9G)
Posted by: kallisto at May 11, 2019 11:34 PM (rpZ5G)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:32 PM (MTjB1)
"Just crazy" is asking for trouble;
"Hot and crazy" is thinking about trouble!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:34 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Burger Chef at May 11, 2019 11:34 PM (RuIsu)
you know, unless you are giving someone surprise anal then the reverse is kind of de rigeur.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:34 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 11, 2019 11:34 PM (4p0NB)
Eh. You get ovet it. Use lots of candles. That helps.
Go Ugly Early is a Navy battle cry in ports around the world. We still are a force for good times.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 11, 2019 11:34 PM (u82oZ)
Posted by: Kindltot at May 11, 2019 11:35 PM (v0N+y)
This 'adobe' person seems to have issues. Because his wife went on a sex strike? Dude, it's not even been a month yet. What kind of marriage is that?
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 11, 2019 11:36 PM (u82oZ)
This 'adobe' person seems to have issues.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc.
He needs a nice lace wig.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 11, 2019 11:36 PM (aKsyK)
"Hot and crazy" is thinking about trouble!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at M
you know, there was some television show that I happened to come across not too long ago. not admitting which one because it was too embarrassing.
however, there was a woman on the show, reality show, that was fat, mean, stupid, ugly, and dishonest. surprising to find that combination.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:36 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Kindltot at May 11, 2019 11:35 PM (v0N+y)
☑ 5 - Strongly agree
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 11:37 PM (RHDdi)
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 11, 2019 11:37 PM (u82oZ)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:36 PM (MTjB1)
------------
Hillary and Michelle have their own reality show?
Posted by: Blake - used vacation salesman at May 11, 2019 11:37 PM (WEBkv)
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 11, 2019 11:34 PM (u82oZ)
Sometimes, "Ugly" is more dependable:"
shorturl.at/hKRTX
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:38 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Jean at May 11, 2019 11:38 PM (25Dt7)
His theory was every woman you passed on is one you didn't sleep with when you are old and can't score anymore.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 11, 2019 11:38 PM (JDG/a)
Posted by: R. Plant at May 11, 2019 11:39 PM (4knXT)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:36 PM (MTjB1)
------------
Hillary and Michelle have their own reality show?
Posted by: Blake - used vacation salesman
It will be call Thunderdome.
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 11, 2019 11:39 PM (4p0NB)
Hillary and Michelle have their own reality show?
Posted by: Blake - used vacation salesman at May 11, 2019 11:37 PM (WEBkv)
I can't stop laughing.
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:39 PM (TdMsT)
the thing that is funny about milano is that she and her husband spent millions renovating their house to a level that is well above the average in her neighborhood. when they figured out they could not afford the house the also figured out no one would buy it because it was so much more expensive than the houses in the neighborhood.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:39 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Jean at May 11, 2019 11:38 PM (25Dt7)
--------
The one-person picket line out near the mailbox?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 11, 2019 11:40 PM (4knXT)
They're trying to reintroduce some grotesque thing called "Flat Stanley". Anyone heard of it? Some kid gets crushed flat and has all sorts of fun adventures because of his new ability of being flat. Something doesn't seem quite right about the idea. Deforming someone into a 2 dimensional shape.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 11, 2019 11:40 PM (/qEW2)
Posted by: Just the punchline at May 11, 2019 11:40 PM (u82oZ)
Once was fine. Three times is a bit dickish.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 11, 2019 11:40 PM (wYseH)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:41 PM (MTjB1)
show, that was fat, mean, stupid, ugly, and dishonest. surprising to
find that combination.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:36 PM (MTjB1)
A Democrat?
Posted by: Grannymimi at May 11, 2019 11:41 PM (u5LFV)
....
Flat Stanley is a classic! No harm there.
Beats the hell out of Susie Has Two Mommies.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 11, 2019 11:41 PM (JDG/a)
His theory was every woman you passed on is one you didn't sleep with when you are old and can't score anymore.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 11, 2019 11:38 PM (JDG/a)
This is truly wasted youth. Like mine, for example. *regretful sigh*
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:41 PM (NWiLs)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:41 PM (MTjB1)
--------
That's just sick.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 11, 2019 11:41 PM (4knXT)
I read somewhere that he is a low level Dem political operative. Maybe he does that on the side.
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 11, 2019 11:42 PM (4p0NB)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 11, 2019 11:42 PM (aKsyK)
Posted by: That irredeemable guy who always says... at May 11, 2019 11:29 PM (EgshT)
My newest hero is the 70 year old guy busted for standing up in his sunroof going down the freeway posing with his arms out like the chick in Titanic.
He was sick of his wife and wanted a taste of freedom.
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 11:42 PM (fpUGl)
However, I think I will stop drinking...
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:42 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Anderson Cooper at May 11, 2019 11:42 PM (4knXT)
Posted by: kallisto at May 11, 2019 11:42 PM (rpZ5G)
Posted by: davidt at May 11, 2019 11:42 PM (w/wKz)
when you are dating women over thirty, that are not married, you have to ask yourself, "what is wrong with her and why does no one want her?"
even if you do not know the answer, she and all her friends know.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:43 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:42 PM (f3oO4)
Goodnight Hrothgar.
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:43 PM (TdMsT)
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 11, 2019 11:43 PM (JDG/a)
Posted by: Kindltot at May 11, 2019 11:35 PM (v0N+y)
Back atcha!
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 11, 2019 11:44 PM (0ly5J)
Exactly what is it you're trying to say.
Don't hold it in.
Let it out
Work with us.
Posted by: Diogenes at May 11, 2019 11:44 PM (0tfLf)
Plus the feminist men will probably go looking for sex elsewhere if their women keep this up too long.
I wonder what it must be like to be in a relationship with those harpies.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:44 PM (9hauA)
https://youtu.be/VcRXOdqwxwE
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2019 10:19 PM (LqbDl)
I think it's the paint they used, I have a feeling that the original paint was probably lead based. Maybe that's why.
Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at May 11, 2019 11:44 PM (dKiJG)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:45 PM (NWiLs)
You have to tell yourself that lots of transient women in your life is ultimately more trouble than only one. It is mostly true, or so I've been told.
Sure the NASA Sutra gets a workout, but having to write their name on the side of your thumb so you don't have to peak in their purse to remember their name the next morning is such a drag. And forgetting the name is so awkward.
Posted by: Just the punchline at May 11, 2019 11:45 PM (u82oZ)
Posted by: Puddleglum at M
googled it, he is an agent, may be dem too
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:45 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:43 PM (MTjB1)
Sometimes it's just because no one asked.
I know a lot of lovely women over 30 who aren't married and some awful ones who got married early. It's not that cut and dried.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:45 PM (9hauA)
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:45 PM (f3oO4)
---------
Hello Sailor!
Posted by: Anderson Cooper at May 11, 2019 11:46 PM (4knXT)
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 11, 2019 11:38 PM (JDG/a)
As opposed to what, the ones you didn't pass on that you didn't get to sleep with anyways?
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 11:46 PM (fpUGl)
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 11, 2019 11:46 PM (/qEW2)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 11, 2019 11:47 PM (CDGwz)
.....
I can't say he was a wise fellow. He was sloshed before noon while explaining his theory.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 11, 2019 11:47 PM (JDG/a)
I know a lot of lovely women over 30 who aren't married and some awful ones who got married early. It's not that cut and dried.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at M
not suggest it is that there is something wrong with them, rather that it is helpful for the dating guy. don't assume that everyone you are dating has lot of options, better options.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:48 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:48 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:44 PM (9hauA)
I swear to God I thought that said herpes.
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 11, 2019 11:48 PM (0ly5J)
Time to go finish a book.
See you round the book thread in the am!
Posted by: Blake - used vacation salesman at May 11, 2019 11:48 PM (WEBkv)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:44 PM (9hauA)
I swear to God I thought that said herpes.
Posted by: Jordan61 at May 11, 2019 11:48 PM (0ly5J)
I've heard it both ways.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:48 PM (NWiLs)
Once was fine. Three times is a bit dickish.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo
*crowd murmurs angrily *
* ominous music plays*
Posted by: Sock Monkey posing as a hoser at May 11, 2019 11:49 PM (wF8/p)
Posted by: Just the punchline at May 11, 2019 11:45 PM (u82oZ)
Actually? uh, no.
If you can't remember their name, they are not worth remembering.
Posted by: Don Q at May 11, 2019 11:49 PM (NgKpN)
Posted by: Blake - used vacation salesman at May 11, 2019 11:48 PM (WEBkv)
Same here. Had a busy miniMIMoMe with AltonJackson et fils. Guns, guitars, and tacos. Might as well try to make the book thread, instead of wandering in late and trying to find a seat.
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 11:50 PM (RHDdi)
You have to tell yourself that lots of transient women in your life is ultimately more trouble than only one. It is mostly true, or so I've been told.
Sure the NASA Sutra gets a workout, but having to write their name on the side of your thumb so you don't have to peak in their purse to remember their name the next morning is such a drag. And forgetting the name is so awkward.
Posted by: Just the punchline at May 11, 2019 11:45 PM (u82oZ)
Eh, I'm not saying I wish I had a notched-up bedpost, just that I'd lived some before I got married and ruined my peak years.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:50 PM (NWiLs)
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 11, 2019 11:38 PM (JDG/a)
As opposed to what, the ones you didn't pass on that you didn't get to sleep with anyways?
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 11:46 PM (fpUGl)
Or, you did get to sleep with them and in the morning said "WTF did I just do?"
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:51 PM (f3oO4)
Have a great night, everyone. Stay blessed. Head on a swivel and have a General Mattis plan.
Posted by: Just the punchline at May 11, 2019 11:51 PM (u82oZ)
Posted by: westminsterdogshow at May 11, 2019 11:51 PM (c1nDO)
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 11, 2019 11:52 PM (u82oZ)
Eh, I'm not saying I wish I had a notched-up bedpost, just that I'd lived some before I got married and ruined my peak years.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:50 PM (NWiLs)
Your peak years may very well be ahead of you.
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:52 PM (TdMsT)
Eh, I'm not saying I wish I had a notched-up bedpost, just that I'd lived some before I got married and ruined my peak years.
--
Yeah, well, I ruined my peak years by doing nothing but working. So there you go.
Posted by: shibumi, still cynical and now married longer than Nicolas Cage! at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (sktRI)
And how does one know when you've crossed that line?
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (fpUGl)
I may be wrong.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (9hauA)
Posted by: Don Q at May 11, 2019 11:49 PM (NgKpN)
Believe me, I remember Solange!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (dKiJG)
I may be wrong.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at M
you think? would think it is the opposite. similar to how it is easier for women to get laid than it is for men.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:54 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 11, 2019 11:54 PM (7njPr)
Posted by: Jordan61, PNW MoMe Survivor & Awesome Mug Winner! at May 11, 2019 11:55 PM (0ly5J)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:50 PM (NWiLs)
Your peak years may very well be ahead of you.
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:52 PM (TdMsT)
Insom, if it makes you feel any better -- we all know your peak years likely aren't ahead of you, just as they aren't for any of the rest of us.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 11, 2019 11:55 PM (GBteo)
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at M
everyone here is likely too nice by default.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:55 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:52 PM (TdMsT)
That could be, I guess. I mean more in terms of age - I flushed my 20s and most of my 30s into the sewer being the meal ticket for an ungrateful cheating *types deletes*. Really really really fucking stupid. However, she fooled plenty of other people as to the kind of person she actually ways.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:56 PM (NWiLs)
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:52 PM (TdMsT)
---------
Bob Dole is willing to help out with this.
Posted by: Bob Dole at May 11, 2019 11:56 PM (4knXT)
.
Posted by: Kindltot at May 11, 2019 11:56 PM (v0N+y)
I may be wrong.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (9hauA)
Eh, I don't know about that.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 11, 2019 11:56 PM (GBteo)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 11, 2019 11:56 PM (FiUMj)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:56 PM (NWiLs)
I feel you. Similar story, but I got out in my early 30's.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 11, 2019 11:56 PM (GBteo)
Posted by: Insomniac at M
that is not a guy thing, girl thing.
you know "women get old, men get distinguished"
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:57 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 11, 2019 11:57 PM (4knXT)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (9hauA)
Chique, I think you are spot on, but at some point it becomes more of a business transaction. a friend summarized it perfectly.
A Nurse or a Purse
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 11, 2019 11:57 PM (f3oO4)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:54 PM (MTjB1)
Laid and married are two different things.
I'm pretty sure if I felt like having meaningless random sex, I could do it quite easily. Having someone who wants to marry you, not so much.
Because men really want sex and most women really want commitment (at some point). So it would be easy for a woman to have sex but easier for a guy to get married if he wants.
That's my theory anyway.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:58 PM (9hauA)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:55 PM (MTjB1)
Aw, thank you, that's a very thoughtful thing to-
HEY
WHAT THE HELL, MAN
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 11, 2019 11:58 PM (RHDdi)
I may be wrong.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (9hauA)
You're totally wrong.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:58 PM (NWiLs)
.
Posted by: Kindltot at May 11, 2019 11:56 PM (v0N+y)
--------
Juan Valdez and his donkey both say you're full of shit.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 11, 2019 11:58 PM (4knXT)
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:52 PM (TdMsT)
That could be, I guess. I mean more in terms of age - I flushed my 20s and most of my 30s into the sewer being the meal ticket for an ungrateful cheating *types deletes*. Really really really fucking stupid. However, she fooled plenty of other people as to the kind of person she actually ways.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:56 PM (NWiLs)
Darlin' Insom: All of those terrible times will serve to magnify the joy that is certainly coming your way.
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:58 PM (TdMsT)
HEY
WHAT THE HELL, MAN
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at M
lol
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 11, 2019 11:59 PM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 11, 2019 11:59 PM (FiUMj)
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 12, 2019 12:01 AM (JDG/a)
Because men really want sex and most women really want commitment (at some point). So it would be easy for a woman to have sex but easier for a guy to get married if he wants.
That's my theory anyway.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:58 PM (9hauA)
It's totally true that women are the gate keepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment.
That being said ... in my experience, a reasonably attractive woman can find a guy to marry her a lot easier than a reasonably attractive man can find a woman to marry him. At least a woman who is not a complete nut.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:01 AM (GBteo)
But maybe I'm delusional, LOL.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:01 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (dKiJG)
Dammit Patrick,I was just about to sign off!
You guys are gonna make me violate my no alcohol ban after midnight!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:01 AM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 12, 2019 12:01 AM (5uCUZ)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:02 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:02 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:02 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:02 AM (MTjB1)
But maybe I'm delusional, LOL.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:01 AM (9hauA)
My lawn. Please remove yourself therefrom.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:02 AM (NWiLs)
I may be wrong.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (9hauA)
I'm older and never been married and I've been told that by a number of my lady friends. Women would be more apt to give a chance to a guy who has been divorced a few times than a never been married guy.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at May 12, 2019 12:02 AM (2DOZq)
Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (dKiJG)
Hilarious. I LOLed.
But you need some familiarity with Catholic doctrine to get it, though.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:03 AM (9hauA)
But maybe I'm delusional, LOL.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at M
sure, but you are hot, smart, and conservative.
what is a fancy party?
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:03 AM (MTjB1)
Congrats, but I find it hard to believe you are forty!
In any event, may you have a blessed live in the many years ahead!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:04 AM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Ladyl at May 11, 2019 11:58 PM (TdMsT)
That's very nice of you, thank you.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:04 AM (NWiLs)
Posted by: Kindltot at May 12, 2019 12:04 AM (v0N+y)
My lawn. Please remove yourself therefrom.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:02 AM (NWiLs)
Hey, I don't have some lovely medical professional (or anyone else) making googoo eyes at me!
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:04 AM (9hauA)
Doesn't that joke end better with the Mother Superior saying "You missed the God Damned Putt didn't you?" so she takes the Lord's name in vain as well?
Posted by: buzzion at May 12, 2019 12:05 AM (Z7lwY)
But you need some familiarity with Catholic doctrine to get it, though.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:03 AM (9hauA)
--------
This is one of those Nicene Creed jokes, right?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 12, 2019 12:05 AM (4knXT)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:05 AM (9hauA)
MeTV is running a '60s sci-fi series, "The Invaders". I've never seen this one before, and it's a Quinn Martin production. I didn't know he ever did sci-fi. But the same formula: dramatic narrator and acts. Act I begins.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 12, 2019 12:05 AM (NMAzL)
Posted by: Kindltot at May 12, 2019 12:04 AM (v0N+y)
No body count? Couldn't have been much of a MoMe...
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (NWiLs)
Posted by: Grump928(C) Platinum Member at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (yQpMk)
life
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (f3oO4)
early 30's, was in an almost 10 year relationship that she called off a few months before the wedding, about a year ago.
It hasn't been too difficult to find girls to casually date / hook up with. I mean, it's work, but it's doable.
But it's been beyond difficult to find a normal girl that I can't actually imagine myself settling down and having a life with.
At least that's my experience. And I'm a decent looking guy, good career, very educated, and I'd say pretty fun person all around.
So idk. YMMV.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (GBteo)
Beats the hell out of Susie Has Two Mommies.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 11, 2019 11:41 PM (JDG/a)
Yeah, it seems to be just an imaginative exercise - no political agenda. When I was in school in the 80's they didn't do that. I'd never heard of it before. That doesn't mean anything, it predates the 80's, maybe it's a good sign they're bringing it back.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (/qEW2)
Posted by: buzzion at M
yes, really doe not make sense any other way. you know, as written it is really more offensive that your suggestion, since to make the joke work you have to assume two people are being insulted by the mother.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (miE9U)
Elsa Lanchester looked pretty damned hot in that movie, assuming you ignored the stitches and so on.
Sure, she'd hiss at you a lot, but you can't have everything. Still better than hooking up with an SJW feminist.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 12, 2019 12:07 AM (0OWcv)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 12, 2019 12:07 AM (miE9U)
MeTV is running a '60s sci-fi series, "The Invaders". I've never
seen this one before, and it's a Quinn Martin production. I didn't know
he ever did sci-fi. But the same formula: dramatic narrator and acts.
Act I begins.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 12, 2019 12:05 AM (NMAzL)
With the crooked fingers.
Posted by: davidt at May 12, 2019 12:07 AM (w/wKz)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (miE9U)
Sent her some roses he cut at his employers?
Posted by: buzzion at May 12, 2019 12:08 AM (Z7lwY)
early 30's, was in an almost 10 year relationship that she called off a few months before the wedding, about a year ago.
It hasn't been too difficult to find girls to casually date / hook up with. I mean, it's work, but it's doable.
But it's been beyond difficult to find a normal girl that I can't actually imagine myself settling down and having a life with.
At least that's my experience. And I'm a decent looking guy, good career, very educated, and I'd say pretty fun person all around.
So idk. YMMV.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at M
1. buy yourself a porsche.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:08 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:03 AM (MTjB1)
Catered, Top floor of a Philly center city "skyscraper", everyone dressed up, professional hair and makeup, quite glam. I have pics but I don't know how to share them here without giving the entire internet access.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:09 AM (9hauA)
Yeah, well...unfortunately, some of them are really good at masking it until it's too late - see, e.g., my ex-wife.
Posted by: Insomniac at
=====
Well here goes, battle of the sexes. My girlfriends and i watched slack-jawed a few times as guys we knew got tangled up with crazies. One of them lost his job thanks to the antics of someone we ID'd as a bitch from the start. "We told you so!" we crowed. "She had a small waist," he said in defense. Just kills me how guys do it every time.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at May 12, 2019 12:09 AM (Gn6Vo)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (NWiLs)
NoVAMoMees are very careful not to post the body count!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:09 AM (f3oO4)
At least that's my experience. And I'm a decent looking guy, good career, very educated, and I'd say pretty fun person all around.
So idk. YMMV.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (GBteo)
___
I was you 10 years ago. I met wife by fluke, but I'm pretty sure if I hadn't met her I'd be single today.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:09 AM (FiUMj)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:09 AM (GBteo)
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:09 AM (yfabr)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (miE9U)
--------
A bottle of wine wouldn't show much thought, IYKWIM
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 12, 2019 12:09 AM (4knXT)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at M
very nice.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:10 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (miE9U)
Gave her a bottle of water.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at May 12, 2019 12:10 AM (2DOZq)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 12, 2019 12:10 AM (miE9U)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:10 AM (NWiLs)
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at May 12, 2019 12:09 AM (Gn6Vo)
*clears throat*
*gestures towards comment #191*
Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 12, 2019 12:10 AM (RHDdi)
1. buy yourself a porsche.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:08 AM (MTjB1)
___
Yeah that'll attract the nice marrying type girls, lol.
And I say this as someone who owns and has owned Porsches for a long long time.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:10 AM (FiUMj)
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at May 12, 2019 12:11 AM (Gn6Vo)
So idk. YMMV.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at M
I get you. You are looking for someone decent among the ashes of feminism. But if you didn't care too much, you could probably get some chick to marry you. That's my point.
But yeah, you should definitely settle down with someone decent.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:11 AM (9hauA)
Don't take a chance, but I'm betting it was a killer event!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:11 AM (f3oO4)
Get yourself a pre-1990 Porsche. Women will view those 2 ways
1. Ewww that's like a 40 year old car, like gross
or
2. Wow that is such a cool old car
Keep the ones who fall into #2
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:11 AM (FiUMj)
Interesting story but not germane to what I related. Like I said, she had a lot of people fooled.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:12 AM (NWiLs)
'Where are you at? It sounds horrible'
Santa Rosa Hell
Get your ass down to the east end of the island just before the national park. There are two places to park your car with a pavilion, lifeguard and almost deserted beach. No noisy bars, idiots or crowds, its like a different world.
You can thank me later and I promise you'll love the shorter walk and minimal crowd, same sugar white sand and emerald green water.
Yes, I'm a native in exile 385 miles north and that is my go to happy place.
Posted by: Gmac - Winning never gets old, like me ... But I'm still winning dammit! at May 12, 2019 12:12 AM (qZdIZ)
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at M
worked with a guy, who I hated, he married his wife because she was the first "skinny girl" he ever dated. by skinny he means anorexic somalian.
you know, that dress really accents your wife's clavicle and ribs.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:12 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:10 AM (NWiLs)
You can't change the past. So best to focus on your hopeful future and not dwell on the past too much.
Just my 2 cents.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:12 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:09 AM (FiUMj)
yeah, I mean, I shouldn't really complain.
I'm just getting bored with dating in general I guess. But unlike a decent number of my friends, I do get dates, and the girls I date aren't hideous looking. It's just... I don't know. I feel like I'm getting too old for this shit, ya know? I'm ready to settle down, get married, have kids, all that.
Instead I'm hanging out with vapid girls who are getting drunk off cheap vodka and getting us kicked out of bars, then I have to carry them home, drop them off with their roommates, and walk home to go on the 'hq at midnight on a Saturday (true story about my evening.)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:12 AM (GBteo)
Posted by: Kindltot at May 12, 2019 12:13 AM (v0N+y)
Will anyone be affected?
Posted by: Braenyard at May 11, 2019 11:31 PM (zNIcM)
Her power bill will be lower next month, because less Sybian time.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2019 12:13 AM (7njPr)
*clears throat*
*gestures towards comment #191*
Posted by: hogmartin
========
Agree 100% with that one, too. With women, it's good-looking abusers.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at May 12, 2019 12:13 AM (Gn6Vo)
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (/qEW2)
......
Flat Stanley's thing was, because he was flat, he could travel around the world by mail.
So when my daughter's class did the Flat Stanley bit, all the kids took flat Stanley somewhere over the summer and took a picture with him and sent him on to the next kid.
Start of the next school year, the teacher shared all of the pictures everybody took and it was like a fun "What you did this summer" kind of thing.
Very wholesome, IMO.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 12, 2019 12:14 AM (KEvUg)
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 12, 2019 12:14 AM (9AFb2)
wonder what Jesus did for his Mom this Mother's Day..
died for her sins so she could have eternal life?
Posted by: booknlass at May 12, 2019 12:14 AM (xIKXj)
And I say this as someone who owns and has owned Porsches for a long long time.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at M
then you know, you do not rely upon the porsche to do everything for you, but it is a nice conversation starter. besides, it is good for you.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:15 AM (MTjB1)
I feel you man. In my early 30s I was the same way, there were plenty of good looking women to choose from. I just never cared about them, they bored me more than anything else. Even the smart ones were dull and uninteresting. Hot, yeah. Bangable, oh yeah. Spend 40 years with? Fuck no.
And then the now mrs walked into my life one night and it was like light bulb went off.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:15 AM (FiUMj)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:10 AM (NWiLs)
Yesterday is lost in the mists of time, and you cannot change it, no matter how hard you try. But the future beckons with infinite promise!
Posted by: Marcus Aureliusr Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:15 AM (f3oO4)
But yeah, you should definitely settle down with someone decent.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:11 AM (9hauA)
Yeah, like the chick i've referred to in the past here as crazy cat lady wanted to get serious with me. But shes 29, divorced, has 4 cats, and is cheating on her boyfriend (I think? I don't know what their deal is) with me, and definitely cheated on her husband with him.
And she made a big show out of wanting to get really serious with me, and I had to cut it off. She was super fun to hang out with, shes really pretty, but it's like -- how can I ever get in a serious relationship with a girl who clearly has no issue cheating on people?
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:15 AM (GBteo)
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:11 AM (f3oO4)
Yes it was a lot of fun. The only thing that sucks is that I spent so much money on food (which I heard was really good) but hardly ate any because I was going around socializing with my guests. In fact, I just managed to get the last piece of my birthday cake, LOL. I was so hungry when it was over.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:15 AM (9hauA)
Just my 2 cents.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:12 AM (9hauA)
Oh sure, and that's what I'm working on. Changing course after all that shit - and at my age - will be a slow and painstaking process, however.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:16 AM (NWiLs)
died for her sins so she could have eternal life?
Posted by: booknlass at May 12, 2019 12:14 AM (xIKXj)
Yes.
Posted by: Ladyl at May 12, 2019 12:16 AM (TdMsT)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:15 AM (FiUMj)
Well, let's raise our glasses and hope that's in my future ha
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:16 AM (GBteo)
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at May 12, 2019 12:16 AM (Gn6Vo)
Endeavor to Persevere, or some shit.
Just stop wallowing in regret and nostalgia. They are a couple of 3 breasted whores.
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:17 AM (yfabr)
Good decision, especially since pretty doesn't last forever for most.
I wish you good luck on finding a good woman. She's out there somewhere.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:17 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 12, 2019 12:17 AM (miE9U)
Posted by: booknlass at May 12, 2019 12:18 AM (xIKXj)
never had such a good girl friend when I was dating, but I have sisters and they are ruthless. they did ruin lots of stuff by noting that that girls I thought were sexy hand more were wearing so much makeup they could have worked for barnum bailey as some sort of whore clown.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:18 AM (MTjB1)
I wish you good luck on finding a good woman. She's out there somewhere.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:17 AM (9hauA)
Yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry to be a downer.
In general, my life is going really well. Looks like I might have a job offer in NYC and be moving out of my beloved new england, but the money (and dating prospects) are there, so... time to move south.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:18 AM (GBteo)
wonder what Jesus did for his Mom this Mother's Day..
died for her sins so she could have eternal life?
Posted by: booknlass at May 12, 2019 12:14 AM (xIKXj)
I wanted him to be a doctor, but NO, he had to break my heart with his prophesying and rabble-rousing!
Posted by: Mary at May 12, 2019 12:18 AM (NWiLs)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:16 AM (NWiLs)
No. It will be what you make it. Make it good.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 12, 2019 12:19 AM (9AFb2)
I wonder what it must be like to be in a relationship with those harpies.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:44 PM (9hauA)
Gonna be a lot of hookers getting paid with taxpayer dollars.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2019 12:19 AM (7njPr)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:15 AM (MTjB1)
__
To close the loop on finding the right woman, when I bought my 2nd Porsche, my wife's only request was that I buy a really cool one and not - to quote her - some gay piece of shit like a Boxtser, LOL.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:19 AM (FiUMj)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:19 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:20 AM (yfabr)
Posted by: booknlass at May 12, 2019 12:14 AM (xIKXj)
......
Talk about showing off.
She acted like she liked my subscription for her to the Frankincense of the Month Club, but I could tell she was just being polite.
Posted by: Jude at May 12, 2019 12:20 AM (KEvUg)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at M
? not sure you understand what I was saying, was suggesting that she was way too fucking skinny and that the reason he married her because it was the first time he ever dated someone that was not whale fat.
have never suggested skinny was good. you know, athletic is nice.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:21 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:18 AM (MTjB1)
Hehe. It's amazing how easily guys can be fooled by makeup. Makeup is basically like witchcraft. Especially now with all the highlighting and contouring.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:21 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:15 AM (9hauA)
BUT, it sounds like it was an an excellent event, and thus cheap at the price.
Posted by: Marcus Aureliusr Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:21 AM (f3oO4)
I'm also saying don't search for the right one, she'll be there when you least expect it. And yeah get a Porsche cuz why the fuck not? But not a gay one like a Boxster
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:22 AM (FiUMj)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:21 AM (MTjB1)
LOL, I was just kidding.
I have no desire to be skinny.
I don't have an athletic build either, but I like my shape anyway.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:22 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at M
which is where you got down and asked her to marry you.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:23 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker
In other words, a keeper!
Posted by: Marcus Aureliusr Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:23 AM (f3oO4)
I don't have an athletic build either, but I like my shape anyway.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:22 AM (9hauA)
___
A little ba-dunka-dunk never heart anyone!
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:23 AM (FiUMj)
you made me remember one of my favorite poems: The Lanyard, by Billy Collins. about gifts we give our moms.
here's Billy reading it
https://youtu.be/0EjB7rB3sWc
Posted by: booknlass at May 12, 2019 12:23 AM (xIKXj)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:22 AM (FiUMj)
Shit, I don't know what I'd do with a Porsche in NYC. I'm like 50/50 on selling my civic and just being car-less.
I could park my car out with family in Queens, but I don't feel like I'd ever really use it.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:23 AM (GBteo)
Posted by: ALICE CLARK at May 12, 2019 12:24 AM (yfabr)
Like I said, she had a lot of people fooled.
Posted by: Insomniac
======
You didn't say that.
Also, I updated at 380.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at May 12, 2019 12:24 AM (JIeFL)
Posted by: Sock Monkey posing as a hoser at May 12, 2019 12:24 AM (wF8/p)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at M
you would be exactly right. my sisters were like witchcraft debunkers. every trick in the book was ruined.
even worse, they were all younger than me.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:25 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Marcus Aureliusr Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:21 AM (f3oO4)
Hmmm, I wouldn't call it cheap. It was approaching the cost of a small wedding. But it was definitely worth it. No regrets. It was wonderful to have so many family and friends, including people I hadn't seen in a couple of decades!
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:25 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:19 AM (9hauA)
Contraindicated!
Posted by: Marcus Aureliusr Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:25 AM (f3oO4)
Oh yeah in NYC, owning any car is nuts. I spent a few years in da city and the idea of owning a car never crossed my mind. Although now with the subway as fucked up as it is, who knows, maybe you're better off with one.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:26 AM (FiUMj)
Like I said, she had a lot of people fooled.
Posted by: Insomniac
======
You didn't say that.
Also, I updated at 380.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at May 12, 2019 12:24 AM (JIeFL)
That could be, I guess. I mean more in terms of age - I flushed my 20s and most of my 30s into the sewer being the meal ticket for an ungrateful cheating *types deletes*. Really really really fucking stupid. However, she fooled plenty of other people as to the kind of person she actually ways.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2019 11:56 PM (NWiLs)
"Plenty" instead of "a lot" but close enough.
Posted by: Mary at May 12, 2019 12:26 AM (NWiLs)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:26 AM (NWiLs)
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:26 AM (yfabr)
I have no desire to be skinny.
I don't have an athletic build either, but I like my shape anyway.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at M
you know, we have met, no one would ever have an unkind word to say about you. sure you have a line of suitors going around your block.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:26 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 12, 2019 12:27 AM (miE9U)
Oh yeah in NYC, owning any car is nuts. I spent a few years in da city and the idea of owning a car never crossed my mind. Although now with the subway as fucked up as it is, who knows, maybe you're better off with one.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:26 AM (FiUMj)
I do currently live in the great state of new hampshire and work in the horrible state of Massachusetts, but I got a great job offer (tentatively) in NYC and feel like I should take it.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:27 AM (GBteo)
She did drive stright through Montana without even waving as she went by.
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:28 AM (yfabr)
There's "cheap",
and there's "cheap at the price"!
Posted by: Marcus Aureliusr Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:29 AM (f3oO4)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:26 AM (MTjB1)
LOL, thanks. And I would say you were such a gentleman, but I wouldn't want to ruin your reputation.
I probably have to get out of the house first.
I did have surgery to fix my leg issue, so that's been pretty awesome.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:29 AM (9hauA)
"You've been abstinent for what, a month? Piker."
Posted by: Dr Alice at May 12, 2019 12:29 AM (lBBGI)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:27 AM (GBteo)
___
Do it. Nothing like living in NYC. It's simultaneously hell and heaven.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:29 AM (FiUMj)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:29 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:29 AM (GBteo)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at M
what he said.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:29 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:29 AM (MTjB1)
___
Bonus: No synchro issues going into 2nd.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:30 AM (FiUMj)
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:30 AM (f3oO4)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:30 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:29 AM (FiUMj)
Yeah, I grew up in in 'burbs of NYC and most of my family / friends live in or within a 30 minute train ride of the city. I'm the only one who moved out to the sticks (with the former fiance).
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:30 AM (GBteo)
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:26 AM (yfabr)
Moped: the past tense of "mope".
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2019 12:31 AM (7njPr)
I may be wrong.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 11, 2019 11:53 PM (9hauA)
I'm older and not married yet.
So, more time for more rounds of golf. I'm good with that.
:-)
Posted by: Puddleglum at May 12, 2019 12:31 AM (4p0NB)
Posted by: Dr Alice at May 12, 2019 12:31 AM (lBBGI)
Mile 12: See a kid on a moped doing wheelies in teh fast lane on the freeway
Mile 15: See a big red stain on the pavement with the heavily speckled moped in ruins nearby
:-P
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 12, 2019 12:32 AM (miE9U)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at M
shouldn't there be somewhere to store them in nh?
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:33 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:33 AM (FiUMj)
Jersey, Long Island, Westchester or Ct.?
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:33 AM (yfabr)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:26 AM (MTjB1)
This^^^^
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:33 AM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:34 AM (FiUMj)
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:34 AM (yfabr)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:33 AM (MTjB1)
I could leave 'em with a friend, I suppose. I also have relatives down south I could leave them with, which is probably my plan.
Jersey, Long Island, Westchester or Ct.?
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:33 AM (yfabr)
CT.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:34 AM (GBteo)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:35 AM (FiUMj)
shhhhhhh you'll ruin everything!
Posted by: chique d'afrique at M
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:35 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:36 AM (yfabr)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:29 AM (9hauA)
So, are you doing OK now?
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:36 AM (f3oO4)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:33 AM (FiUMj)
yeah, this job is a bit of a pay bump ($150ish), but, you know, NYC living expenses compared to NH ... heh.
But at the same time, it's in house counsel for a very well known company with lots of room for promotions and whatnot compared to a kind of dead end / topped out job in the boston area.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:36 AM (GBteo)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 12, 2019 12:37 AM (FiUMj)
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:37 AM (yfabr)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:37 AM (9hauA)
Go Whalers!
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:36 AM (yfabr)
Nice. Yeah... not trying to give out too much personal info, but I grew up very close to the NY border on one of the early exits off the merritt.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:37 AM (GBteo)
What about the hump, third eye and talking mole?
Doesn't matter. You would still be lovely.
Posted by: M K Ultra at May 12, 2019 12:38 AM (UFLLM)
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 12, 2019 12:38 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:37 AM (9hauA)
Thanks, it's not 100% yet, but it's looking promising. But my plan is to move whether I get this job or another one.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:38 AM (GBteo)
Posted by: USNtakim profoundly deplorable. at May 12, 2019 12:38 AM (0OmEj)
Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at May 12, 2019 12:38 AM (IOZp1)
What leg issue?
Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at May 12, 2019 12:39 AM (IOZp1)
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:36 AM (f3oO4)
Yes, thanks.
I had a growth disorder that affected the shape of my leg. You should have seen the before x-rays. It was kind of crazy.
But my awesome surgeon fixed it almost exactly 2 years ago now, so now I look mostly normal, LOL.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:39 AM (9hauA)
Very MILFy.
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:40 AM (yfabr)
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:16 AM (NWiLs)
Ugh, tell me about it.
Posted by: Emperor Country Boy at May 12, 2019 12:40 AM (NbtMM)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:41 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:41 AM (9hauA)
Don't read the pet thread.
Posted by: Vendette at May 12, 2019 12:41 AM (KpItb)
Posted by: garrett at May 12, 2019 12:42 AM (yfabr)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:39 AM (9hauA)
Good! I am convinced that a great surgeon is a gift from God!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:42 AM (f3oO4)
Posted by: M K Ultra at May 12, 2019 12:38 AM (UFLLM)
One thing at a time. The sixth toe on my right foot is next.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:43 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: M K Ultra at May 12, 2019 12:38 AM (UFLLM)
One thing at a time. The sixth toe on my right foot is next.
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:43 AM (9hauA)
The third eye may stay, though, since it's on the back of her head.
Posted by: Vendette at May 12, 2019 12:45 AM (KpItb)
Posted by: booknlass at May 12, 2019 12:23 AM (xIKXj)
.....
Oh yes! I did enjoy that immensely!
I may play that in church tomorrow for all the moms in attendance if the Pastor will let me.
Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 12, 2019 12:45 AM (KEvUg)
Posted by: John Kerry at May 12, 2019 12:45 AM (yfabr)
Posted by: Vendette at May 12, 2019 12:45 AM (KpItb)
AND it will even the odds when she meets Bluebell in a dark alley!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 12:47 AM (f3oO4)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:47 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 12:47 AM (9hauA)
Quits physically waving to type
*Waves*
Posted by: Vendette at May 12, 2019 12:48 AM (KpItb)
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at May 12, 2019 12:53 AM (2DOZq)
Posted by: Kindltot at May 12, 2019 12:56 AM (v0N+y)
Posted by: navybrat swimming upstream at May 12, 2019 12:59 AM (w7KSn)
When I left, the fire was mostly out and at least a few people were still upright and conscious, so I think it turned out pretty good. It was nice to meet all you gray box friends there!
Posted by: Lazy Messenger at May 12, 2019 01:01 AM (f0Pv6)
Plenty" instead of "a lot" but close enough.
Posted by: Mary
=====
that wasn't the post I was responding to.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at May 12, 2019 01:01 AM (JIeFL)
Except that Mary was sinless.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at May 12, 2019 01:03 AM (JIeFL)
Have a good night all, and Happy Mother's Day to those who deserve it!
~H
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar at May 12, 2019 01:07 AM (f3oO4)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 12, 2019 01:12 AM (miE9U)
It was nice nice meeting everyone, but it was a shame that someone had to lose an eye.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 12, 2019 01:13 AM (9AFb2)
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 12, 2019 01:15 AM (/qEW2)
Posted by: chique d'afrique at May 12, 2019 01:19 AM (9hauA)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2019 01:23 AM (7njPr)
Posted by: Vendette at May 12, 2019 12:45 AM (KpItb)
Aha, Laura Petrie Walnut Syndrome.
Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at May 12, 2019 01:39 AM (e1mEI)
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's phone at May 12, 2019 01:03 AM (JIeFL)
Just to be a completist, I need to give the objection: in the Magnificat there is the verse (Luke 1:46-47)
46 And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,
47 And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
But if she needed a savior, she could not have been sinless.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 12, 2019 02:03 AM (/qEW2)
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear
Wrong. Jesus, as God the Son, preserved Mary from all stain of sin by the graces of His sacrifice.
Posted by: Eleanor, What the Cat Dragged In at May 12, 2019 02:16 AM (QU+qf)
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear
Wrong. Jesus, as God the Son, preserved Mary from all stain of sin by the graces of His sacrifice.
Posted by: Eleanor, What the Cat Dragged In at May 12, 2019 02:16 AM (QU+qf)
Reference?
Posted by: Vendette at May 12, 2019 02:22 AM (KpItb)
Posted by: Eleanor, What the Cat Dragged In at May 12, 2019 02:23 AM (QU+qf)
kicking my but, so no I'm not going to go digging around for the exact
explanation, but, in a nutshell, that is the Doctrine of the Immaculate
Conception (too often confused with the Virgin Birth).
Posted by: Eleanor, What the Cat Dragged In at May 12, 2019 02:23 AM (QU+qf)
That is definitely a Protestant-Catholic difference, especially if a Protestant is Sola Scriptura. What a Catholic sees as doctrine some Protestants see as "I don't see this in the Bible" and there is a disconnect. I say this as a Protestant whose mother grew up Catholic and I know a bunch of Catholics, including one who is a theologian.
Posted by: Vendette at May 12, 2019 02:27 AM (KpItb)
Posted by: Eleanor, What the Cat Dragged In at May 12, 2019 02:29 AM (QU+qf)
And I haven't met you before. Hello!
Posted by: Vendette at May 12, 2019 02:33 AM (KpItb)
Posted by: Eleanor, What the Cat Dragged In at May 12, 2019 02:42 AM (QU+qf)
Posted by: Kindltot at May 12, 2019 12:04 AM (v0N+y)
No body count? Couldn't have been much of a MoMe...
Posted by: Insomniac at May 12, 2019 12:06 AM (NWiLs)
You of all people know, Insomniac, there is no math at a MoMe.
Even at the corn hole games, scoring was prohibited.
But now that you mention it, there were a lot of newly dug mounds near the quiet side of the park.
I just assumed they were large hungry gophers.
Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at May 12, 2019 02:51 AM (sy5kK)
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 12, 2019 02:53 AM (9Om/r)
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at M
you know, look closely at the front left, in line with the lower right corner of the trailer, there is something that looks like a tow line going from the trailer off to the right.
Posted by: yakeefifth at May 12, 2019 02:59 AM (MTjB1)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at May 12, 2019 12:27 AM
Congratulations!
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 12, 2019 03:07 AM (GSPwC)
Posted by: yakeefifth at May 12, 2019 02:59 AM (MTjB1)
Yes, a very slender line, attached to the front cross-strut, it seems.
I guess the budget didn't allow for an outboard motor. Even a little 5-horse jobbie would putt that thing along at better than a walking pace.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2019 03:16 AM (7njPr)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2019 03:16 AM (7njPr)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at May 12, 2019 04:09 AM (NMAzL)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at May 12, 2019 04:09 AM (NMAzL)
47 And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
But if she needed a savior, she could not have been sinless.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 12, 2019 02:03 AM (/qEW2)
Maybe she didn't know that she was spared original sin, and thus not in the same state as the rest of us. At least, that's how the nuns explained it to me - she was chosen by God b/c He knew she would end up accepting His will.
Mary's a BFD in Roman Catholicism, but the Protestants don't grant her any special status - at least not to the extent that we do. Asking for her intercession, etc.
I don't practice Catholicism, but I was marinated in it, so by default it's the "true" religion to me.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at May 12, 2019 04:20 AM (NMAzL)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at May 12, 2019 04:21 AM (NMAzL)
Posted by: My life is insanity at May 12, 2019 05:10 AM (vu/qe)
I am feeling my *29 years today!
Posted by: My life is insanity at May 12, 2019 05:24 AM (vu/qe)
Posted by: Skip at May 12, 2019 05:33 AM (BbGew)
Posted by: Skip at May 12, 2019 05:34 AM (BbGew)
Is it morning? Opened another beer. Coffee can wait.
Posted by: Infidel at May 12, 2019 05:37 AM (yBXUJ)
g'mornin', 'rons
Posted by: AltonJackson at May 12, 2019 05:38 AM (KCxzN)
Posted by: Skip at May 12, 2019 05:39 AM (BbGew)
Posted by: My life is insanity at May 12, 2019 05:49 AM (vu/qe)
Is it morning? Opened another beer. Coffee can wait.
Posted by: Infidel
Bestie's are the best! And, it's noon somewhere!
Posted by: My life is insanity at May 12, 2019 05:50 AM (vu/qe)
Posted by: Skip at May 12, 2019 05:51 AM (BbGew)
Doing it ourselves, except for the poured basement and the septic.
Code requires egress window for exit in basement. Design and lay of the land wouldn't accomodate a walk-out
Posted by: My life is insanity at May 12, 2019 05:55 AM (vu/qe)
Posted by: Skip at May 12, 2019 05:57 AM (BbGew)
Posted by: Eromero at May 12, 2019 06:00 AM (qBNEP)
Posted by: Bruce at May 12, 2019 06:04 AM (8ikIW)
Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there. Gonna be sorta sad here.
Posted by: Infidel at May 12, 2019 06:04 AM (yBXUJ)
Posted by: JT at May 12, 2019 06:46 AM (qIAv/)
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Real Clear Politics
Gallup
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement
Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band
AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection
AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings)
George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad
Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up
Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry
NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind
All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
John Edwards Campaign Excuses
John Kerry Pick-Up Lines
Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
Torments in Dog-Hell
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)