Father's Day Repost: In The End, It's Their Quirks That We Love [Warden]

When I wrote this back in October, a commenter suggested that it might serve as a good fathers day tribute to dads generally.

I agree. This post is about my dad, but it describes how many people feel about their love for their fathers.

The post is below the fold. Happy (belated) Father's Day.

My wife and I are approaching the outskirts of my hometown when she receives the text. My 79 year old father, who we're supposed to meet with his girlfriend at the county fair in a half an hour, has been admitted to the ER with chest pains.

Both of my boys, ages 11 and 6, are in the backseat, bored from the hour and a half drive, but eager to watch the demolition derby that is the final destination of an all day fall road trip.

I curse under my breath, then promptly miss my exit and begin raging at the cars around me as I look for an alternative route to the hospital. Anger is almost always my reaction when I'm scared or upset.

My wife tries to soothe me. I calm down for the sake of my boys, but I can't get the worst case scenario out of my mind. My dad had undergone a quadruple bypass just a few years prior, and he just hasn't been the same man since.

By the time we arrive at the hospital, my dad's girlfriend has texted again. They've moved him to observation and she is with him. I relax upon hearing the news.

We check in at the front desk. A curmudgeonly old hospital worker shows us how to find his room.

"Just follow the brown acorns. All the different sections are some sort of nature theme I guess," he says with casual disdain.

"Damned hippies!" I snarl dramatically.

He either doesn't get it or finds it unworthy of even a polite chuckle. I wink at my older son. Mocking hippies is a running gag between us. One of his favorite stories is how I once punched one in the face.

We turn a corner and I catch a glimpse of my dad through a room curtain. As soon as I see him, I know everything is okay. He's talking animatedly with someone hidden from view. When he sees me, he smiles.

"How are you?"

He informs me that he's fine. The EKG was normal and he'd taken an enzyme test that had turned up negative, which is means that he hadn't had a heart attack.

"Okay, first things first," I say. "Does Mom and, oh I don't know, YOUR OTHER SON WHO LIVES 5 MINUTES AWAY know you're here?"

Dad's girlfriend informs us that she called the two-day of them a few minutes ago. It's 6:15 pm. My dad checked in 3 hours ago and had only recently gotten around to telling anyone.

Honestly, I'm surprised that he'd done even that. The last time he'd been in the ER, he hadn't told anyone until the day after he'd been released.

I look down. "I see you thought to bring a book, though."

Dad usually has a paperback somewhere either on his person or in his car. Always bring a book so you'll never be bored, he once told me.

Dad nods proudly. "I grabbed it on the way out."

"You drove?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus. Really?"

The nurse starts going through Dad's medical history with him. "I see you have numbness in your left hand?" she asks.

Dad acknowledges that he'd had surgery, but it hadn't corrected the problem. Then he makes sure to point out that he can still do 5 chin-ups.

"Wow," says the nurse politely.

Dad tells her that he could do twelve up until a few years ago, which I can personally verify given that he once did them on a Disney bus during a family vacation in order to show up some punk kids near us who were having a chin up contest using the grab bar.

I see my older son giggling. I poke him in the stomach and give him an eye roll. "Chin ups!" he whispers.

Another inside joke. Every single time my dad visits our home, he has the same conversation with my son. It goes like this:

"You like playing football?"

"Uh uh."

"You gotta be strong for football. You work out? You do chins? You chin yourself?"

"I work out sometimes. I don't do chin ups."

"Chin ups are the BEST way to build strength. Tell your dad to get you a chin up bar so you can chin yourself, okay?"

"Okay, Papa."

I'm tempted to tell my kid to lie and say he has a chin up bar just to get my old man off his ass, but worry that my dishonesty will be exposed when Dad wants to challenge him to a chin up contest.

I look back at my dad as the nurse approaches the bed and tries to lift him to an upright seated position. He waves her off.

"Hold my feet," he commands gruffly.

She looks befuddled, but complies. What other choice does she have?

And then, I shit you not, my dad puts his hands behind his head, inhales dramatically, and does a sit up like he's in gym class, beaming proudly as he reaches the top.

Oh my God! mouths my embarrassed wife from the other side of the bed, her panicked eyes simultaneously looking everywhere and nowhere.

My wife adores my father, but has also told me that my most important job is to not turn into him when I get older. Now she looks like she can't decide whether to hide or run.

"I do crunches every morning," Dad informs the nurse. Now it's my eyes that are on the move, sliding stealthily over to his bemused girlfriend.

Later, I would tell this story on Twitter and receive a great many comments about what a slick ladies man my dad is.

But he's not. He might be the most clueless man I've ever met when it comes to dealing with women. He doesn't even know how to flirt.

His actual intention is making sure everyone in the room knows that he's not some goddamned candy ass, as he would put it. This is important to him. I get it. I'm not much different. I just do my signalling in less obvious ways.

I shake my head slightly and smile in solidarity with his girlfriend. I feel like I'm in a Seinfeld episode. Every year my dad becomes a more distilled version of his essential self and this is entire sequence of events is him to a T: recklessly independent, obliviously earnest, tough, proud and stubborn.

His not a candy ass bona fides now established, Dad decides that this would be a good time for a lesson on Latin roots. He turns to my 6 year old. "Do you know what spect means. The root, spect?"

My younger one is whip smart. He can do two digit subtraction in his head and reads at a 2nd grade level, despite only having started kindergarten two months ago. He does not, however, know what the hell a Latin root is. Age appropriateness is not something my father has mastered. This would explain his decision to take me to see the movie, Animal House, when I was 7 years old along with many other odd events from my childhood.

My son shakes his head at the question. I can tell that he's happy to receive his grandpa's attention, but is already sensing that this is veering off into a decidedly not fun place.

"Spect means to see," the lecture continues. "Now, can you think of any words that have 'spect' in them?"

Another head shake. We'd promised him a demolition derby. This was not a demolition derby.

"IN-spect means to look within. SPECT-acle means a big sight. RE-spect means to look back. PRO-spect means to look forward."

"Okay," chirps my younger one, his feigned interest bolstered by the hopeful realization that the lesson might be over.

My dad is obsessed with Latin roots and thinks we should teach vocabulary to kids by making them learn them. He's such a true believer that he decided he was going to make my brother and I spend an hour a night learning them when we were in junior high.

We, of course, rebelled and the experiment ended after two weeks with my dad calling us assholes and storming out of the room.

There were hopes of a textbook and maybe even an educational board game that would teach eager, young home-schooled children the miracle of a Latin root based vocabulary, but he put it off until retirement, then just got too old to do it.

Now he's at it with my kids.

Did I mention that my dad is stubborn?

He drives me nuts some time. More so these days, as he'll get fixated on one or two things and just beat them to death.

But here in this observation room at the ER, I start looking ahead to his inevitable passing. Every time he has a health scare it becomes more real to me.

I think maybe I should have a eulogy written ahead of time. It's not the first time I've considered this. I've started on it a dozen times in my head, but I always end up crying and never get around to putting it to a word document.

I have dozens of hilarious stories about my dad. There's an entire routine I used to run through about how I was traumatized at childhood due to his embarrassing exploits. I've had entire rooms crying and wheezing through laughter for a half hour straight. A crowd favorite is the story about the "pee jug" he made us kids use for 6 months because he really liked the win-win scenario of acquiring free fertilizer for his garden while also saving on the water bill.

I usually transition from that story to the one where he cut a deal with a circus that was passing through town to take some of their elephant shit off their hands. I still remember my mom hiding in the kitchen as a dump truck full of it got shoveled into our garden. She was, of course, mortified.

I look down. I love this man. He's been a rock for our family for his entire life. In his relentless dedication to our physical and financial safety, he'd thought of and planned for everything. We used to razz him about the "bomb shelter" in our basement--an area stocked with dry goods, water, gold and silver coins and other doomsday needs--but what he was really doing with all that was showing his love the best way that he knew how.

But the things I'll remember the most fondly when he's gone are his small quirks and imperfections--even, and maybe mostly, the ones that frequently frustrate and embarrass me.

We don't love perfectly and we don't love perfect people. But when you love someone, you love all of them. And as you grow older, you start to see that the things that are imperfect about people are not only what makes them uniquely them, but also what makes them uniquely good.

Because every trait we have is a coin with two sides. My dad's sometimes exasperating bluntness, for example, also means you always know where you stand with him. There is no guesswork to our relationship. I don't know a more honest man, and I've never in my life seen him behave any other way than exactly how he is. The trade-off is some inevitable social awkwardness, but at least we always have a good laugh about it.

Like most people, he's full of these Yin and Yang characteristic. His workaholic, Type A nature means no detail is ever overlooked, especially when having to do with important matters.

His excessive pragmatism is responsible for a red folder tucked into my file drawer that provides me with every single piece of information I might need upon his death--bank account numbers, who to contact and how, and where he's hidden cash and valuables from the tax man.

The old school chivalry that sometimes bleeds into a thoughtless chauvinism that irritates my wife was also at the heart of him treating my mom well and looking after her, even after they were divorced and even after she'd wronged him.

The flaws are all there, front and center. But the good by far outweighs the bad.

I pray regularly to have more patience both with my parents and my kids. It's one of my top prayers because I'm moody and often a grouch, and I feel guilty about it. I also know that this is just how I'm built and there's no cure, only a a gradual, conscientious amelioration of the worst effects of it.

My wife knows it, too, and when I'm being a crank, she'll sometimes kiss me on the nose, just like Lucy might do to Schroeder in a Peanuts comic strip. When she does this, she usually says something to the effect of, "It's a good thing that I find grumpiness to be cute."

It is, indeed.

Love your loved ones. All parts of them. This is what God made them to be.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:53 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1

In 2018, Massachusetts voters will decide the fate of The Fair Share Amendment, also known as the Millionaire's Tax. If passed, the Fair Share Amendment would amend the Massachusetts Constitution by changing its provision to tax all residents an equal share of their income. It would specifically tax 4% on income over one million dollars. The projected $2 billion per year in additional tax revenue would be designated for education and transportation, areas both very much in need of investment.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at June 18, 2018 10:55 AM (IqV8l)

2 Happy day after Fathers' Day!

Posted by: Axeman at June 18, 2018 10:56 AM (vDqXW)

3 The older I've gotten, the more appreciative I've been of my parents. They did a darn good job, all considered and I'm lucky to have them as role models.

Posted by: Joe, living dangerously at June 18, 2018 10:56 AM (mk7Bj)

4 Let's Do the Time-Warp, Agaaaaaaaain!

Posted by: garrett at June 18, 2018 10:57 AM (MkVJm)

5 I could have stood for my father and grandfather to not be such stick-in-the-mud, all-business-all-the-time killjoys.

Still, I wouldn't be here without them, so there's that.

Posted by: Hikaru at June 18, 2018 10:58 AM (WDCYi)

6 >>The projected $2 billion per year in additional tax revenue would be designated for education and transportation, areas both very much in need of investment.

Projected based on the assumption people won't change their behavior after this goes into effect?

Posted by: Lizzy at June 18, 2018 10:58 AM (W+vEI)

7 Actual revenue will approach zero point zero. Millionaires will move across the border to NH or VT.

Posted by: AZ Hi Desert at June 18, 2018 11:01 AM (O9qtX)

8 Projected?

The green weed of money is a powerful hallucinogen for Socialists. They think it is a never ending pot until it isn't.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at June 18, 2018 11:01 AM (KB4SV)

9 The older I've gotten, the more appreciative I've been of my parents.

The older I get, they smart they've become.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 18, 2018 11:01 AM (6NpxV)

10 Here's another gem from the recommendations of the IG report....

''The Department and the FBI consider developing practice guidance that would assist investigators and prosecutors in identifying the general risks with and alternatives to permitting a witness to attend a voluntary interview of another witness, in particular when the witness is serving as counsel for the other witness."

CONSIDER??????

The IG report is a fucking joke.

Posted by: Kreplach at June 18, 2018 11:01 AM (2JcMg)

11 It would specifically tax 4% on income over one
million dollars. The projected $2 billion per year in additional tax
revenue would be designated for education and transportation, areas both
very much in need of investment.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at June 18, 2018 10:55 AM (IqV8l)

----
The Jukin Financial Fiduciary Accounting Firm has put out a statement.

The so called Massachusetts Millionaire Tax will reduce overall tax revenues by $500 million the first year and $1 billion the subsequent year.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at June 18, 2018 11:02 AM (pw+jk)

12 Meh, yesterday my family gave Fathers Day a ranking somewhere between St. Olaf's day and Vegan Appreciation Day.

Posted by: wrg500 at June 18, 2018 11:02 AM (Bdeb0)

13 >>The older I've gotten, the more appreciative I've been of my parents.

The older I get, they smart they've become.

Definitely! I enjoy both of my parents as friends. Much more interesting relationship with them now as an adult.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 18, 2018 11:03 AM (W+vEI)

14 There was time during the service for people to share what they learned from their fathers or appreciated about them. One old guy said:He taught me all about cars and how to fix them and do electricity. He also taught me to do woodworking "He was a man without much education but a great deal of wisdom." I thought that was wonderful. Another fellow said "My father showed me the importance of humility." In a culture that completely de-emphasizes humility I said that i thought that was wonderful thing!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 18, 2018 11:03 AM (0/+vJ)

15 I'm 62
My kids still do dumb shit......

Posted by: Roland THTG at June 18, 2018 11:04 AM (xBSm0)

16 On the last thread somebody asked about Incredibles 2.

Saw it. There is definitely a grrl power element it, but it doesn't impede the story. There's nothing wrong with the first movie kind of centering on Bob, and the second movie centering on Helen.

The stay-at-home Dad thing was a little annoying, but an integrated part of the story.

Jack-Jack was awesome!

Posted by: Axeman at June 18, 2018 11:04 AM (vDqXW)

17 Last year I was volunteered to drive dad to a nephew's wedding. The ceremony was downtown, the reception in Over-The-Rhine, Cincinnati's half-gentrified ghetto.

And Dad's childhood neighborhood.

Never made it to the ceremony. Drove around OTR for two hours. The building I remember my grandparents living in is now owned by a gay "couple"; the neighborhood eatery that once served dog food as chili is now an up-scale trendy restaurant...

And the reception was held in a building one of Dad's cousins once owned.

Posted by: Rob Crawford at June 18, 2018 11:06 AM (cApiC)

18 >>The so called Massachusetts Millionaire Tax will reduce overall tax revenues by $500 million the first year and $1 billion the subsequent year.

*Amazon crosses MA off the list of possible second HQ site*

Posted by: Lizzy at June 18, 2018 11:06 AM (W+vEI)

19 Laura Bush doesn't like this administration's handling of border jumpers. Hey Laura, your husband is responsible for this situation, and his pathetic leadership on the issue of illegal immigration brought us to this point. !Jebbie the douche claimed that border jumping was somehow an "act of love."

It's my claim, that separating children from any adult trying to cross the border illegally is an act of love. We're taking the children away from abusive adults, which IMHO, is an act of love.

Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Splitter Chapter at June 18, 2018 11:06 AM (rdl6o)

20 "for education and transportation", translated, is "to shore up the retirement ponzies for public workers in education and transportation ".

Massachusetts be boned.

Posted by: Boulder t'hobo at June 18, 2018 11:07 AM (9qgwV)

21 I learned devotion, service, and kindness from my father. He crossed the river last month, and I miss him every day.

Posted by: Furious George at June 18, 2018 11:07 AM (9vQJW)

22 The so called Massachusetts Millionaire Tax will reduce overall tax
revenues by $500 million the first year and $1 billion the subsequent
year.

=====

LOL. Like the soda taxes and cigarette taxes. Let's tax declining revenue!

Posted by: mustbequantum at June 18, 2018 11:08 AM (MIKMs)

23 Great post. Thanks.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at June 18, 2018 11:08 AM (UiRxW)

24 For anyone still interested in the Moneyball thread, I found an interesting quote back at #375.

Theo was pissed about the concept of letting Lewis write the book, spilling the (ahem) Beanes on how only a couple of teams were using statistics.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at June 18, 2018 11:09 AM (fuK7c)

25 Nice OB.

I miss my 'ol man. He's been gone awhile now.
But ever so often I find myself channeling him.
Usually the groans when I get up.

Posted by: Diogenes at June 18, 2018 11:09 AM (0tfLf)

26 It would specifically tax 4% on income over one
million dollars. The projected $2 billion per year in additional tax
revenue would be designated for education and transportation, areas both
very much in need of investment.

--

Mass. Currently spends north of $15k per student per year, which is 8th most in the country, and would make it higher than any OECD country on average except for Norway.

Fact checker rates this statement as false.

Posted by: Joe, living dangerously at June 18, 2018 11:09 AM (mk7Bj)

27 May your dad be blessed with many more healthy years.

Posted by: kallisto at June 18, 2018 11:09 AM (3nTd6)

28 Losing dad still hurts. I'll excuse myself from this thread so I can function.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Abbot of St. Costello-on-the-Hurlingbone at June 18, 2018 11:10 AM (AM1GF)

29 >>There was time during the service for people to share what they learned from their fathers or appreciated about them

What a great idea, Fen!
My dad is infinitely patient. One could tell how bad something was if dad got upset, because it was such a rare occurrence.

Naturally, dad was the one who taught us to drive. His method? Spend about 1 hour in an empty office parking lot (on the weekend) and then saying, "OK, let's go up Boulder Canyon now..." (spoiler alert: nothing like possibility of plummeting down the side of a mountain focuses the mind on driving well!) Heh.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 18, 2018 11:11 AM (W+vEI)

30 The so called Massachusetts Millionaire Tax....

These idiots just don't learn.

Posted by: Diogenes at June 18, 2018 11:11 AM (0tfLf)

31 Good writing, glad you reposted it. I missed it first time. You're right, it's the quirks and sometimes even the aggravations from those close to us that we love.

Posted by: Tom Servo at June 18, 2018 11:11 AM (k1TUh)

32 Losing dad still hurts. I'll excuse myself from this thread so I can function.
Posted by: Brother Cavil

Still hurts after 11 years.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 18, 2018 11:12 AM (6NpxV)

33 I lost my father early, he was just 51 years old and I was 22 back in 1988. Because of that, I missed the most important years of his guidance and strength: when I was becoming a man. I learned so much from his quiet wisdom and courage, his tenacity, his gentle discernment and intelligence, but the years that I had so many questions, he wasn't there and I miss him so much.

Just keep that in mind, all you dads. Your job doesn't end when they leave the house. They need you even more, then, because they're just starting out and you understand what they need to know. They have to have someone to ask questions of and rely on.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 18, 2018 11:12 AM (39g3+)

34 I think we learn the concept of Godly obedience from listening to our parents. Only our earthly fathers won't be perfect. They'll have flaws--even deep flaws. All the same, God, from our flawed perspective seems "flawed". (Think Dunning-Kruger on a divine scale.)

I think that tolerating the imperfections of our parents, and yet honoring them, is akin to our not being able to fully grasp the Lord's perspective, yet none the less, and yet we yield to him. And of course we *honor* our parents, because they are flawed and yielding totally to them might not be the best course. Our parents *can* contribute to our wisdom; they are given that opportunity.

Posted by: Axeman at June 18, 2018 11:12 AM (vDqXW)

35 Warden, great post. As usual. Thanks.

Posted by: DR.WTF? at June 18, 2018 11:12 AM (T71PA)

36 The stay-at-home Dad thing was a little annoying, but an integrated part of the story.

Jack-Jack was awesome!
Posted by: Axeman at June 18, 2018 11:04 AM (vDqXW)

Fun movie. Plot was predictable, but that's fine. Animation and fight scenes were pretty neat. Good sequel.

Posted by: Joe, living dangerously at June 18, 2018 11:12 AM (mk7Bj)

37 My dad found me an endless source of amusement. I am very competent at some home repairs, hard-working, single parent, went beyond sunup-sundown in busyness, and he always laughed at my comeback when he came over to visit on my 'day off' when I wouldn't sit down. Inertia is the greatest force -- this object can't afford to be at rest.

Posted by: mustbequantum at June 18, 2018 11:13 AM (MIKMs)

38 By the way, when I was a young man, all those people saying "he died so young!" made no sense to me. 51 isn't young!

Now at 52 I understand what they meant. And my mom went through years of hell and still suffers to this day without her true love. I don't mean this as some criticism of dad, he didn't mean to die of a heart attack. I mean it as a warning to men here. Take care of yourself, for the sake of those who love you.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 18, 2018 11:14 AM (39g3+)

39 >>>"Damned hippies!" I snarl dramatically

i heard that in my pop's voice

Posted by: concrete girl at June 18, 2018 11:14 AM (yzU5t)

40 @26

It's also a misnomer that x school district spends y per pupil.

Actuarially, $0.00 gets spent on kids.

Posted by: Kreplach at June 18, 2018 11:14 AM (2JcMg)

41 Fun movie. Plot was predictable, but that's fine. Animation and fight scenes were pretty neat. Good sequel.
Posted by: Joe, living dangerously at June 18, 2018 11:12 AM (mk7Bj)
---
Yup. I guessed early on. But it would be spoilers to provide any more.

Posted by: Axeman at June 18, 2018 11:14 AM (vDqXW)

42 Losing dad still hurts. I'll excuse myself from this thread so I can function.
Posted by: Brother Cavil

Still hurts after 11 years.
Posted by: rickb223 at June 18, 2018 11:12 AM (6NpxV)

Or 38. I am above all else my father's son.

Posted by: Captain Hate at June 18, 2018 11:15 AM (y7DUB)

43 9 The older I've gotten, the more appreciative I've been of my parents.

The older I get, they smart they've become.
Posted by: rickb223 at June 18, 2018 11:01 AM (6NpxV)

As a Parent, I've learned the WORST thing you can go with a Teenager or young adult child???

Be proven Right...

Posted by: Don Q at June 18, 2018 11:16 AM (NgKpN)

44 The Fair Share Amendment.
aka the Moochers and Looters Amendment.

Posted by: JAS at June 18, 2018 11:16 AM (3HNOQ)

45 Posted by: Kreplach at June 18, 2018 11:14 AM (2JcMg)

True. Most of the money goes to administration and pensions. Throwing more money at it won't change the massive mis-allocation, just enable the scam to continue a little longer.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at June 18, 2018 11:16 AM (rp9xB)

46 >>Just keep that in mind, all you dads. Your job doesn't end when they leave the house. They need you even more, then, because they're just starting out and you understand what they need to know. They have to have someone to ask questions of and rely on.

So true! Used to have almost weekly calls with my dad when I started working to get advice on corporate culture and later management. Was the best thing ever when I would call and he *stopped* saying, "Oh, hi Lizzy, I'll get your mother..." and instead settled in for a chat.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 18, 2018 11:18 AM (W+vEI)

47 As a Parent, I've learned the WORST thing you can go with a Teenager or young adult child???
Be proven Right...
=====

Mine are all under 30 and some of the sweetest words I have ever had from mine are that I was right. I usually keep my mouth shut, but if I take the time to opine about something, listen carefully.

Posted by: mustbequantum at June 18, 2018 11:19 AM (MIKMs)

48 The stay-at-home Dad thing was a little annoying, but an integrated part of the story.

Jack-Jack was awesome!
Posted by: Axeman at June 18, 2018 11:04 AM (vDqXW)

Soo... Girl Power... and Kid Power...

Just no Man Power...

Oh... yeah... Disney...

Posted by: Don Q at June 18, 2018 11:20 AM (NgKpN)

49 At church when the hymn is one that was foisted upon us in 70s, I mutter "Damn Hippy music."

Posted by: JAS at June 18, 2018 11:21 AM (3HNOQ)

50

My Dad is, and always will be my role model.

Can't think of a better way to honor him.

Posted by: irongrampa at June 18, 2018 11:25 AM (S/hVx)

51 38 my dad also died young - 49. Cancer.

Mom was 42, still beautiful. She had a couple guys coming after her but my bro got sick and her attention turned to his care.

It astonished me that the rest of the world continued and everyone just kept humming along when our little family cell had just been cruise missile struck.

Posted by: kallisto at June 18, 2018 11:25 AM (3nTd6)

52 Dad keeled over and died unexpectedly at age 50, fifty years ago, when I was just 15.

His dad, the Patriarch, had died unexpectedly only four years previously, after which his kids' families began to unravel.

Dad and his dad heavily shaped my life, but not so much by direct influence. Never got to know them well. For good and ill.

My own offspring all said Happy Pappys Day to me this weekend, though, so I guess we're still on speaking terms. So there's that.

And this year I got to wish my son a Happy Pappys Day, for his almost one year old son. Now I are a grandpappy.

Generations roll on.

"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."
—Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Posted by: mindful webworker - son of a son of a son of at June 18, 2018 11:25 AM (jMD9L)

53 I had a dad who was abusive in every way. I have not seen him in ten years, nor do I wish too. I for sure do not want him around my grandchildren. We have a family wedding this weekend. I emailed him and told him to stay away from us. If he comes near my grandchildren, I may resort to violence.

Posted by: grammie winger at June 18, 2018 11:25 AM (lwiT4)

54 My grandfather (disabled WWI vet), was a stay at home dad. Grandma said that she never came home to a messy house and he figured out how to do basic cooking. She had to do scrubbing and physical stuff, but she never had to deal with disorder.

Posted by: mustbequantum at June 18, 2018 11:26 AM (MIKMs)

55 Huh, 2014 during Gaylord's Reign of Error children in cages...

http://thisainthell.us/blog/?p=80031

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at June 18, 2018 11:27 AM (KB4SV)

56 My ol daddy died when I was a kid.

Totally splintered the family.

Never really recovered.All you can do is press on..

Posted by: Roland THTG at June 18, 2018 11:27 AM (xBSm0)

57 So true! Used to have almost weekly calls with my dad when I started working to get advice on corporate culture and later management. Was the best thing ever when I would call and he *stopped* saying, "Oh, hi Lizzy, I'll get your mother..." and instead settled in for a chat.
Posted by: Lizzy at June 18, 2018 11:18 AM (W+vEI)

My younger daughter called me a couple years ago, upset that she had to come down hard on one of her employees who she thought was smart enough not to pull some of the nonsense he had on the job. I said "welcome to management, Dear"

Posted by: Captain Hate at June 18, 2018 11:28 AM (y7DUB)

58 Had a great day yesterday with my parents. Pop was being his silly self, as usual. It drives my mother crazy, but then she'll turn and smile at me when he's doing it. I don't think it bugs her as much as she says it does. I love that man so much. I thank God for them both every day.

Posted by: hobbitopoly at June 18, 2018 11:28 AM (MX7xj)

59 My dad taught me to drive standard transmission. That came in handy when traveling to Europe.

Posted by: kallisto at June 18, 2018 11:29 AM (3nTd6)

60 You had a father? Your were lucky!

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at June 18, 2018 11:29 AM (9BLnV)

61 Very well said sir, very well..

Posted by: NALNAMSAM - not as lean, not as mean, still a Marine at June 18, 2018 11:31 AM (9cNzN)

62 LMAO!! The fight between the two friends on FB? The dumb lib just got on and announced he's staying off FB for awhile except to post pics, his BP just can't take it. Dude is one angry son of a bitch and is causing his own mental health problems. Dude.. you're the problem!

Posted by: Jewells45 at June 18, 2018 11:31 AM (zRZaJ)

63 That part where OB,s wife kisses him on the nose when he's grumpy reminds me of Heidi, she tells me I'm being an asshole and to go hit the heavy bag before she stabs me to death. I get choked up when I think of it. So romantic.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob and bunny nic at June 18, 2018 11:31 AM (2CQCl)

64 Just no Man Power...

Oh... yeah... Disney...
Posted by: Don Q at June 18, 2018 11:20 AM (NgKpN)
---
Not totally, Bob and Lucius are key to the final disaster.

So I think it was a good balance.

Posted by: Axeman at June 18, 2018 11:32 AM (vDqXW)

65 Never met my paternal great-grandfather, he was long dead before I was born. Would have had to have lived to 116 to see me born.

Posted by: Hikaru at June 18, 2018 11:33 AM (WDCYi)

66 My ol daddy died when I was a kid.

Totally splintered the family.

Never really recovered.All you can do is press on..
Posted by: Roland THTG at June 18, 2018 11:27 AM (xBSm0)

When I was growing up in what was a small town there were a couple families that went through that. Even at an immature age I knew that was really really bad. I was thirty when my dad died and even then felt really alone.

Posted by: Captain Hate at June 18, 2018 11:33 AM (y7DUB)

67 >>>My dad taught me to drive standard transmission

me too. in the pasture!...how to throw/catch a baseball too.

Posted by: concrete girl at June 18, 2018 11:33 AM (yzU5t)

68 Dad was abusive and repellent. No fond memories.

Posted by: d9 at June 18, 2018 11:33 AM (WX+x0)

69 things my dad told me...

"don't burden yourself with a 15 year note Daniel, you can always pay more when you have the money but not feel pinched if you don't" Paid that house off in 17 years.

"why don't you go for the civil engineering degree Daniel? if you can't cut it then you go for construction technology" I've done well with that license.

"If you really want something wait a couple of days and see if it's still that important. If you really, really want something. I mean drop dead have to have it right now then wait two weeks" awesome advice

Posted by: DanMan at June 18, 2018 11:33 AM (0SEK8)

70 When my daughter was 8 - 9 I started playfully complaining that she had cooties and shouldn't touch me. Now she's almost 15 and gives me at least three hugs per day.

Smartest thing I ever did.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at June 18, 2018 11:34 AM (xQfPr)

71 Mother and Father Poppins divorced when I was quite young, so I never really knew him and was raised by Grandfather Poppins, who was a lovely man.

Grandmother Poppins. . .well, she was stone deaf and I always got the impression that she never liked me at all.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 18, 2018 11:34 AM (kqsXK)

72 Thanks for this, Warden. I am grateful for my father and am saddened when I hear of those with bad ones. As a grown-up, I have been able (as many have) to make that transition with my parents into friends and confidants (with an occasional reality check from them, as in the old days) and am happy for that, too.

Here's to hoping you don't need that eulogy any time soon!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at June 18, 2018 11:35 AM (I2dne)

73 LMAO!! The fight between the two friends on FB?
The dumb lib just got on and announced he's staying off FB for awhile
except to post pics, his BP just can't take it. Dude is one angry son
of a bitch and is causing his own mental health problems. Dude.. you're
the problem!

Posted by: Jewells45 at June 18, 2018 11:31 AM (zRZaJ)

Well, liberalism IS actually a mental disease, so....

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at June 18, 2018 11:35 AM (9Om/r)

74 Losing dad still hurts. I'll excuse myself from this thread so I can function.
Posted by: Brother Cavil

Still hurts after 11 years.
Posted by: rickb223 at June 18, 2018 11:12 AM (6NpxV)

Or 38. I am above all else my father's son.
Posted by: Captain Hate

Or 41 years. My father died on June 12, 1977.
In all those years, I doubt that very few days passed that I did not think of him at least once.
My youngest son (21) resembles him. He is a living reminder of who he was, and that he lives on through us.
And my youngest son is a father now also. Sunday was his first Father's Day. And I hope he has many, many more.

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....unfrozen caveman moron at June 18, 2018 11:35 AM (vcOmj)

75 When my daughter was 8 - 9 I started playfully complaining that she had cooties and shouldn't touch me. Now she's almost 15 and gives me at least three hugs per day.
Posted by: Laughing in Texas at June 18, 2018 11:34 AM (xQfPr)

That's adorable!

Posted by: hobbitopoly at June 18, 2018 11:35 AM (MX7xj)

76 "All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."
- Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Or, as the poet Philip Larkin wrote, They fuck you up / Your mum and dad."

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 18, 2018 11:36 AM (kqsXK)

77 Boyfriend's dad drove to nursing home twice a day when his wife was there ten years. He did this until age 76 at which time his wife passed on.

He's 82 now, pressing on through some difficult health conditions. I hope his son called him yesterday. Or one of his daughters. I sent him an Easter card a couple years ago, he said it was the first time in his life he'd gotten one.

Posted by: kallisto at June 18, 2018 11:37 AM (3nTd6)

78 Enjoyed reading this for the second time, Warden. I hope you get to enjoy many more years with your dad!

Posted by: cornbred at June 18, 2018 11:37 AM (oPR8X)

79 My Dad has been gone 22 year this October. He still fishes with me in my dreams. I usually wake up and smile and laugh when I have one of those dreams. I miss him just about every day.

Posted by: rhennigantx at June 18, 2018 11:37 AM (JFO2v)

80 My dad really only liked kids before they were about 7. After 7, it was 'teacher says' and they couldn't learn a darn thing.

Posted by: mustbequantum at June 18, 2018 11:38 AM (MIKMs)

81 I think I just saw a headline that the MA SJC has rejected the Millionaire's Tax ballot question. Haven't been paying attention to the story, so I'll have to go double-check. Think it was a Boston Herald news alert, but I don't see it anymore.

Posted by: Lincolntf at June 18, 2018 11:38 AM (l14X/)

82 Generations roll on.

"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."

Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Posted by: mindful webworker - son of a son of a son of
--------
That is a fantastic book.

Posted by: NALNAMSAM - not as lean, not as mean, still a Marine at June 18, 2018 11:39 AM (9cNzN)

83 A dependable male authority figure--uncles and grandpas--is of great help and guidance.

An undependable male figure is often harmful.

My wife's crazy, shiftless birth father, left the family when she was a child. She saw him sporadically, and he moved residences on her without notice. When she was a teen, and had located her father, he actually asked "How did you get this number?"

I bless her uncle John, who died before I knew her, for filling in that fatherly love she never got.

Posted by: Axeman at June 18, 2018 11:42 AM (vDqXW)

84 testing

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at June 18, 2018 11:42 AM (htCxB)

85 The older my kids get, the smarter they think I am.

Posted by: JAS at June 18, 2018 11:42 AM (3HNOQ)

86 The stay-at-home Dad thing was a little annoying, but an integrated part of the story.

My daughter called it Mr Mom in cartoon.
Said it was great.

Posted by: Diogenes at June 18, 2018 11:43 AM (0tfLf)

87 My Dad has been gone 22 year this October. He still fishes with me in my dreams.

When I gave my Dad's eulogy I concluded by saying, "when I go fishing, and I go fishing a lot, I'm still fishing with that boy from Hinsdale".

Now, of course, funerals are for the living. I didn't go into the complicated relationship I had with him. I painted a bright portrait of him for my Mom.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at June 18, 2018 11:43 AM (fuK7c)

88 80 My dad really only liked kids before they were about 7. After 7, it was 'teacher says' and they couldn't learn a darn thing.

Posted by: mustbequantum at June 18, 2018 11:38 AM (MIKMs)

My relationship with my father became strained after I turned 12 and I found out I just didn't have the patience for hunting. He had a lot invested in the idea of hunting as how we'd bond, and he kind of just gave up on getting along with me once that happened. To this day, he still says he doesn't like me much.

Posted by: Hikaru at June 18, 2018 11:43 AM (WDCYi)

89 >>Or, as the poet Philip Larkin wrote, They fuck you up / Your mum and dad." Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 18, 2018 11:36 AM (kqsXK)

Well known for his optimistic work. 'Aubade' is his masterpiece.

Posted by: Zod at June 18, 2018 11:44 AM (Bdeb0)

90 Speaking of Disney and cartoon, I watched "Coco" on Netflix.
Dark for a Disney show. It's a good Halloween story.

Posted by: JAS at June 18, 2018 11:44 AM (3HNOQ)

91 Bluebell...I guess your peanuts and wine are safe...for now. We split the series.

Posted by: Diogenes at June 18, 2018 11:44 AM (0tfLf)

92
Happy (belated) Fathers Day, but special thoughts and healing prayers for those Hordians whose fathers were complete and utter bastards (not mine, I might add). The pain of these days must be hell.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at June 18, 2018 11:45 AM (BWL+E)

93 At first you love your parents.And then you judge your parents.And, if you are lucky, you forgive your parents.

Posted by: Zombie Oscar Wilde at June 18, 2018 11:45 AM (3HNOQ)

94 "All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."
- Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

And a select few parents polish the shit out of their children until they shine.

Mine did.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 18, 2018 11:46 AM (6NpxV)

95 Mother and Father Poppins divorced when I was quite young, so I never really knew him and was raised by Grandfather Poppins, who was a lovely man.

Grandmother Poppins. . .well, she was stone deaf and I always got the impression that she never liked me at all.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 18, 2018 11:34 AM (kqsXK)

You know, this idea that two parent families are the norm, it's never really been true. Two parent families, where one dad and one mom have however many kids they do, together, and not with anyone else... that's a luxury.

It really is.

I am well aware LOTS of families have this luxury, but it's far from the norm, and becoming less so as we go, of course.

I just think it's worth noting, not as a way of saying anyone is right or wrong, or better or worse. It's worth noting, so that when people struggle precisely BECAUSE they lacked this luxury, we can perhaps be a little more caring and understanding.

Posted by: BurtTC at June 18, 2018 11:46 AM (cY3LT)

96 Lost my dad in '89, sudden heart attack. He loved tech, was a programmer (Fortran and Cobol.) Even now, I'll see some article about a tech development and think for a split second "oh I should show Dad." You never really completely stop missing you Dad.

Posted by: MaureenTheTemp at June 18, 2018 11:46 AM (5KWnQ)

97
My relationship with my father became strained after I turned 12 and
I found out I just didn't have the patience for hunting. He had a lot
invested in the idea of hunting as how we'd bond, and he kind of just
gave up on getting along with me once that happened. To this day, he
still says he doesn't like me much.
=====

For my dad, it was always learning, always trying. Those of the grandkids who were bright and questioning, there was nothing he wouldn't do to help. Those who sat down and regurgitated 'schooltalk' (he was a civil engineer), he didn't have much patience.

Posted by: mustbequantum at June 18, 2018 11:46 AM (MIKMs)

98
Bluebell...I guess your peanuts and wine are safe...for now. We split the series.
Posted by: Diogenes

♫The days of wine and peanuts♫

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at June 18, 2018 11:48 AM (IqV8l)

99 At first you love your parents.And then you judge your parents.And, if you are lucky, you forgive your parents.

--------------------------------------------------------

I'm trying but it's difficult.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at June 18, 2018 11:48 AM (xQfPr)

100 17 the neighborhood eatery that once served dog food as chili is now an up-scale trendy restaurant...

so they haven't had to change their menu, then.

Posted by: Anachronda at June 18, 2018 11:48 AM (xGZ+b)

101 Well known for his optimistic work. 'Aubade' is his masterpiece.

Posted by: Zod at June 18, 2018 11:44 AM (Bdeb0)

I don't care for poetry, but Larkin does speak to me. Probably because he seems as unhappy as I am.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 18, 2018 11:48 AM (kqsXK)

102 83. My dad stepped in as father figure for his nephew when my uncle went MIA in WWII. I was 8 yrs old before I understood that my older brother was really my cousin. He told me when my dad was drafted into the US Army cuz cried and cried because to him military service meant disappearance.

But my dad made it through, he missed the Korean conflict by a couple years I think.

Granddad stood for my dad in his absence. Cuz was lucky he got two substitute dads even though he never knew his real one.

Posted by: kallisto at June 18, 2018 11:49 AM (3nTd6)

103 You know, this idea that two parent families are the norm, it's never really been true. Two parent families, where one dad and one mom have however many kids they do, together, and not with anyone else... that's a luxury.

Posted by: BurtTC at June 18, 2018 11:46 AM (cY3LT)

I think this is right. Throughout most of human history, people tended to bunch up in clans and tribes with everyone in close proximity to each other.

Hillary's 'It Takes a Village' was not 100% wrong.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at June 18, 2018 11:49 AM (htCxB)

104 I was told by smart libs tbat dads are a waste of time simce grrrrl powet is all you need.

Posted by: #neverskankles at June 18, 2018 11:50 AM (5cBZN)

105 My father is/was a superior athlete, so he wanted me to be a bit more athletic than I actually am, but we eventually bonded playing basketball. At 74 years old he still plays in two softball leagues and three basketball leagues.

Posted by: Lincolntf at June 18, 2018 11:50 AM (M/hCX)

106 As a Parent, I've learned the WORST thing you can go with a Teenager or young adult child???
Be proven Right...

We used to have a song when the kids were young. It went ♪ Mommmm was right! Mommmm was right! ♪

Dad was right for some reason we didn't hear as much - I think I might've heard it in later years. ...

Posted by: mindful webworker - no do-overs in parenting at June 18, 2018 11:50 AM (jMD9L)

107 Dad doesn't like you because you're not into hunting? Man that is harsh.

Posted by: #neverskankles at June 18, 2018 11:52 AM (5cBZN)

108 97 For my dad, it was always learning, always trying. Those of the grandkids who were bright and questioning, there was nothing he wouldn't do to help. Those who sat down and regurgitated 'schooltalk' (he was a civil engineer), he didn't have much patience.

Posted by: mustbequantum at June 18, 2018 11:46 AM (MIKMs)

My father didn't believe in "try". It was either succeed or fail. And if you failed, it's because you (I) weren't working hard enough and you (I)weren't (wasn't) putting in enough hours.

Posted by: Hikaru at June 18, 2018 11:53 AM (WDCYi)

109 Shit. Shinola.

'Nuff said.

Posted by: Navin Zod Johnson at June 18, 2018 11:53 AM (Bdeb0)

110 nood

Posted by: IC at June 18, 2018 11:54 AM (a0IVu)

111 107 Dad doesn't like you because you're not into hunting? Man that is harsh.

Posted by: #neverskankles at June 18, 2018 11:52 AM (5cBZN)

Obviously, that wasn't the end of it.

That was just the starting point, and it all continued to go downhill from there.

Posted by: Hikaru at June 18, 2018 11:54 AM (WDCYi)

112 One of my kids played soccer as a youngen. She was awful and cpuld tell she wasnt into it. I asked her if she still wanted to play next year and she said no but she wanted me to be happy so she would do it for me. And I told her that she should never feel the need to do things she hates to make me or anyone else happy. And she hasnt touched a soccer ball since.

Posted by: #neverskankles at June 18, 2018 11:56 AM (5cBZN)

113 My father is/was a superior athlete, so he wanted me to be a bit more athletic than I actually am, but we eventually bonded playing basketball.

Athletics skips generations in my family. Grandfather loved baseball. Dad took me to Sox games but couldn't throw a ball.

I am not a natural athlete but I loved sports and played them all and eventually got big and strong.

I married a tiny girl whose family are not big, but they're all competitive athletes including Olympic level. I thought, "this is great, we'll have kids who are big and strong and naturally talented athletes".

Yeah, I have small boys who hate sports.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at June 18, 2018 11:57 AM (fuK7c)

114 My dad died last October while he was at a local cafe playing in his regular every other Monday bridge game with what he calls the old widows. He was sitting next to a retired RN and across from a CPR instructor and they kept his heart going until the ambulance got there to shock him a couple of times and get his heart going on its own and put him on a ventilator and send him off to a hospital. He woke up that evening in ICU and I asked him if he remembered what happened that day. He said no, why the hell was he in the hospital? I told him what had happened and that his bridge friends had brought him back by doing CPR. He said, what the hell did they do that for, I'm 90 damn years old? He was pissed off about that for a couple of days. My brother and I finally convinced him that he was better off alive and if he'd been meant to stay dead he would have. He has since thanked the wonderful women who saved his life. I will never be able to thank them enough. I love my dad.
Also, if you are on diuretics for your blood pressure, make sure the doctors monitor you potassium levels. Leg cramps and death are two symptoms of low potassium.

Posted by: huerfano at June 18, 2018 11:57 AM (L9nK5)

115 OT: Interesting claim on the left: roger stone's contact w russian "hank greenberg," who was from sunny isles, fl, vindicates glenn simpson, who just happened to include sunny isles as the location of russians that investigators should pursue in simpson's senate judiciary testimony. Supposedly, this russia-russia-russia link was revealed by stone bc mueller found the "evidence" on stone's phone. (Of course, looking from the other side, does this make the hank greenberg look more like a fusion/FBI set-up?)

Oh, and the consensus is that strzok is a patriot and will help set the record straight on his dedication to duty, per those who think PDT is one step from the gallows for treason. Those folks are crazy.

Posted by: Ever at June 18, 2018 11:57 AM (QPeHQ)

116 Dad doesn't like you because you're not into hunting? Man that is harsh.

Huh, my dad was never into blood sports. He fished a little, that was it. I went duck hunting with a friend and his dad in Eastern CO. I ended up falling through the ice and almost dying. My dad was so gracious and loving after that incident. It really brought us closer. that was the effective end of my hunting career.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at June 18, 2018 11:58 AM (bWBdM)

117 My father is/was a superior athlete, so he wanted me to be a bit more athletic than I actually am, but we eventually bonded playing basketball. At 74 years old he still plays in two softball leagues and three basketball leagues.
Posted by: Lincolntf at June 18, 2018 11:50 AM (M/hCX)

Wow, I thought I was doing something significant by playing hoops until I was 67 before a sore back led me to quit. I could still light up kids over 40 years younger so I didn't quit because guys froze me out because I couldn't cut it. Most of them were pretty respectful as long as you could shoot the rock.

Posted by: Captain Hate at June 18, 2018 12:01 PM (y7DUB)

118 I'm actually a few days older than my dad when he passed away.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at June 18, 2018 12:01 PM (pOKaC)

119
Dad doesn't like you because you're not into hunting?
=====

My dad decided his job on hunting trips with his buddies was to bring and make food. His collection of sausage and jerky recipes was awesome. He didn't hunt, but he liked being out and camping. Apparently, he was wooed by other groups, but he stayed with his regular friends.

Posted by: mustbequantum at June 18, 2018 12:01 PM (MIKMs)

120 I learned to pass, basically so people would pick me to play rather than being the odd man out. I can shoot a little now, but I jump like I have lead in my pockets, so I virtually never go to the hoop. On one day back in 1981, and I remember it vividly, I didn't get to play a single second in our bitty-ball league and that night my father played against the Harlem Globetrotters as a local All-Star in an exhibition game at the Worcester Auditorium. I kind of knew then that I didn't inherit his jock genes.

Posted by: Lincolntf at June 18, 2018 12:08 PM (M/hCX)

121 Wow. Donny Two Scoops is raging about immigration laws right now.
"A country without borders is not a country at all."

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 18, 2018 12:09 PM (8iiMU)

122 "It is the Democrat's fault. They are obstructing."

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 18, 2018 12:10 PM (8iiMU)

123 I grew up thinking my daddy could do anything - and never changed my opinion. If he had not done it before, he would research, learn how and do it right. So many memories. He has been gone since 2004 and I still miss him. Probably always will. He was a teacher and I learned from him - but he was also silly with us, and later on with the grandkids. Kidsharn told me once, I love grandma but grandpa is FUN!

Posted by: Rosasharn at June 18, 2018 12:18 PM (gC288)

124 Posted by: Bandersnatch at June 18, 2018 11:57 AM (fuK7c)

Mother Nature and Gregor Mendel are over on the side laughing at you. :p

Posted by: jakee308 at June 18, 2018 12:24 PM (bkV+o)

125 Mother Nature and Gregor Mendel are over on the side laughing at you. :p

Oh yeah.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at June 18, 2018 12:29 PM (fuK7c)

126 Wonderful tribute -- many thanks for sharing.

My Dad and I didn't always see eye-to-eye -- I think he struggled to figure out how he ended up with as strange a child as I was -- but once I left home and especially after I married and starting having kids of my own, my respect and admiration for him grew enormously.

He passed away 22 years ago, done in by his own lifelong love of martinis and cigarettes. (Even when he was on 24-hour O2 for his emphysema, he'd sneak out on the back porch and smoke. Drove my mom -- an RN -- nuts.) I was the one who gave his eulogy as our family scattered his ashes out at sea. I still miss him.

http://andstillipersist.com/2008/06/a-eulogy-for-my-father-republished/

Posted by: Fritzworth at June 18, 2018 12:49 PM (ETa0I)

127 Thanks for reposting this. Another one I would love to see is the response from the guy who looked like a typical headbanger type to a teenager/young man who was complaining about his "asshole" father. Instead of joining in on the old-guy-bashing, the headbanger-looking guy gave a really thoughtful response.

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: OCBill at June 18, 2018 01:07 PM (df+Zi)

128 Ocbill - I think you're remembering Andrew W K.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at June 18, 2018 01:36 PM (pOKaC)

129 #128

That was it. Thanks.

Posted by: OCBill at June 18, 2018 01:43 PM (df+Zi)

130 "My dad's sometimes exasperating bluntness, for example, also means you
always know where you stand with him. There is no guesswork to our
relationship. I don't know a more honest man, and I've never in my life
seen him behave any other way than exactly how he is. The trade-off is
some inevitable social awkwardness, but at least we always have a good
laugh about it."

If this were said at my memorial, if this were the only thing said at my memorial, I'd be ok with that.

Posted by: How I want to be remembered at June 18, 2018 02:08 PM (rRcsq)

131 Beautifully written. What's more, it was educational with the "spec/latin root" mention. On last night's Jeopardy program (6/1

there was a Daily Double under the 'Economics' category. The answer was, "From Latin for 'to look at', they are investors out for short-term profit; their money keeps the markets liquid and efficient." I immediately shouted at the TV, "What are speculators!" The things you learn on AoS....

Posted by: nccrabman at June 19, 2018 06:18 AM (HIvgJ)

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