Thread before the Gardening Thread: How's that holiday shopping going? [KT]

Serving your mid-day open thread needs

'Man Bun' Ken Doll

Here's a fun toy for the youngster on your holiday gift list who enjoys playing with dolls that are "hep" with the latest fashions. . . . Meanwhile Barbie is making out with Skeletor.

Dave Barry's Holiday Gift Guide was published last month, but it probably wasn't appropriate to highlight his guide here until The Deplorable Gourmet (in the sidebar) was released. You might have been tempted to give the Portovino Wine Purse to someone who is now getting the book.

But we all know that there are some people who would not appreciate a cookbook written by members of The Horde. Dave Barry's list can now be considered for those still on your gift list who might react negatively to that brilliant tome. Some people are just hard to buy for.

The challenge, in this hectic season, is always to find enough unnecessary things for all the people on our gift list. That's where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless anywhere else. These are all real products; we did not make them up. You can actually buy them.

Actually, I would not be real surprised if some of the people who submitted gift ideas for this list were Morons or Moronettes.

Have you bought or considered buying a unique gift this year? My mother's book club was once famous for its unique white elephant Christmas gift exchange. There was the year Mom made a robe and lost one of the sleeves. And the year she found an artificial leg at a thrift shop. A gay artist friend in the neighborhood (who was partial to creating and dressing up in animal-inspired monster costumes long before furries were a thing) wrote a poem to accompany that gift: Put your Best Foot Forward.

Think anyone on your list would actually appreciate one of the gifts on Barry's list? Or someone whose life might be improved by one of the gifts? Like maybe the Barry Manilow Coloring Book? Heh.

Hope you have a great day.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 11:13 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Good morning All!

Still need one more gift for Mrs Diogenes. Any ideas?

Posted by: Diogenes at December 16, 2017 11:13 AM (0tfLf)

2 I'm buying my girlfriend bowling shoes. And a 24" strand of pearls.

She owns her own ball.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 16, 2017 11:15 AM (2K6fY)

3 >>Still need one more gift for Mrs Diogenes. Any ideas?

The Gift that Keeps on with the Giving. All night.

Or,

An Hitachi

Posted by: Paolo at December 16, 2017 11:15 AM (8bEU0)

4 Would a Ferrari be at bit to much?

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 11:16 AM (aC6Sd)

5 My Christmas shopping is over. I am outa money.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at December 16, 2017 11:17 AM (KdDCu)

6 I'm buying my girlfriend bowling shoes. And a 24" strand of pearls.

She owns her own ball.
Posted by: Kindltot

Sex is better than bowling because:
1) you don't need special shoes
2) the balls are a lot lighter

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....living on the prison planet at December 16, 2017 11:18 AM (S6Pax)

7 Slow morning.

Seventh?

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....living on the prison planet at December 16, 2017 11:19 AM (S6Pax)

8 So that is what a "man bun' is. I have seen the word a million times but did not know what it was and I was NOT going to Bing it.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 11:20 AM (mpXpK)

9 "Curses, Willowed again":
That Jingle Bells theatre-history prof got her BA in Odd-a-Wah and her
MA in Alberta. We imported her, to gnaw at the root of the world-ash.

She's
dead wrong about blackface minstrelsy. It was not mere mockery, but a
huge step up for the black element of US culture. We would not have
ragtime, blues, or jazz today were it not for the founding efforts of
Coon Culture. Yes, that is what it was called. And buck-and-wingers were
not ashamed of it.

I met Mrs Pence once, at a shooting affair.
The inaugural ball events seemed tailor-made to make her seem frumpy. In
person, she's lively and fun and definitely somebody you'd want to
know. She rides and she shoots.

Hell she could be an 'ette for all we know.

Posted by: Stringer Davis ]/b] at December 16, 2017 11:21 AM (H5rtT)

10 I am done buying Christmas presents and I didn't get anything weird.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 11:21 AM (mpXpK)

11 >>So that is what a "man bun' is. I have seen the word a million times but did not know what it was and I was NOT going to Bing it.

But - Will you grow one of your own, now?

Posted by: garrett at December 16, 2017 11:21 AM (8bEU0)

12 Man buns should be illegal.

Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 11:23 AM (r9UYA)

13 Thanks to the smart-ass Moron who posted the link to "Malt Whiskey" in Walt Disney script. That will be wrapped around the "handle" of 12-year-old Un-Do'ers that my sister gets from me. Sometimes genius just falls on you.

Posted by: Stringer Davis ]/b] at December 16, 2017 11:23 AM (H5rtT)

14 >>She rides and she shoots.

CAS?

Posted by: Love Gun at December 16, 2017 11:24 AM (JoQAu)

15 Adam Shiff afraid the Mueller/ Russian collusion investigation is coming to a screaching halt, Republicans haven't called any witnesses to prove a negitive

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 11:25 AM (aC6Sd)

16 I used to have a bowling ball that I bought while I was in Washington State. Bowling was about the only thing you could do there because it rained everyday that I was there but one. After I moved here I gave it away. The local bowling alley only had one lane open for non-league bowlers and there was always a long wait. I refused to join a league because I worked rotating shift work.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 11:25 AM (mpXpK)

17 So that is what a "man bun' is.
Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 11:20 AM (mpXpK)

Aw, I bet you could pull it off.

If you called it a chonmage and were wearing a pair of swords. Maybe.

Posted by: hogmartin at December 16, 2017 11:25 AM (y87Qq)

18 CAS?

Don't know, but there has to be some reason Mike won't "dine alone."
Or sit with his back to a window while holding aces and eights.

Posted by: Stringer Davis ]/b] at December 16, 2017 11:25 AM (H5rtT)

19 11 But - Will you grow one of your own, now?

Posted by: garrett at December 16, 2017 11:21 AM (8bEU0)

No real man will ever wear one of those hideous things,

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 11:26 AM (mpXpK)

20 I always thought a man bun meant the wearer was a neophyte catamite and was awaiting his first owner.

After de-flowering, he would remove the man bun and moved on to becoming hairless.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at December 16, 2017 11:26 AM (EoRCO)

21
I'm buying my girlfriend bowling shoes. And a 24" strand of pearls.
She owns her own ball.
Posted by: Kindltot
=====

You can adopt me or any of my kidlets at any time. They are housebroke.

Posted by: mustbequantum at December 16, 2017 11:26 AM (MIKMs)

22 I already have two man buns, thank you, butt I'd have to go pantsless for anyone to see them. And I won't do that because this is Xmas not Halloween.

Posted by: Hands at December 16, 2017 11:26 AM (EzdLW)

23 off to fix the tractor tire ... honey locust thorns are a pain. Fortunately a front tire I can probably fix, then on to mowing, while it is warm.

willowed comment:

"Pretty sad that a lobbyist had better professional ethics than the FBI. Posted by: MAGA

Rank and file are mostly appalled (imo). As with the pentagon, the fish rots from the head down. Deep State mafia installs their peeps at the top via Clinton types, and they never leave. Good people have been leaving instead.

This audio (link) is good by Jay Sekulow, on the changes made for Comey. Careless and negligence are basically the same, but the "misdirection" was the point.

The original was "EVIDENCE of gross negligence".
The edit was "NO EVIDENCE of (intent to be) extremely careless".

It didn't matter legally, since intent is not the issue. Just the word 'negligence' (or careless) suggests intent is not the point. But as with Comey making his case by leaking to the Times, this is propaganda for public consumption. So the DNC/MFM talking point is "No Evidence, Comey said so".

twitter.com/JaySekulow/status/941714502478848000

Posted by: illiniwek at December 16, 2017 11:27 AM (otAqJ)

24 So that is what a "man bun' is. I have seen the word a million times but did not know what it was and I was NOT going to Bing it.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 11:20 AM (mpXpK)

Draw one out on an Egyptian tomb wall and it would translated as gay.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Divison at December 16, 2017 11:28 AM (aMlLZ)

25 I always thought a 'man bun' was what Princess Lela wore on the sides of her head in Star Wars.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at December 16, 2017 11:31 AM (KdDCu)

26 >>Don't know, but there has to be some reason Mike won't "dine alone." Or sit with his back to a window while holding aces and eights.

Mrs. Gun and I considered giving it a go about ten years ago, but work didn't really allow for proper commitment.

She was gonna nom de guerre as "Malevolent M."

Posted by: Love Gun at December 16, 2017 11:31 AM (JoQAu)

27 If you have a man bun and not a Samurai you're doing it wrong.

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 11:32 AM (aC6Sd)

28 I got Under Wife a new Galco holster leather handbag. and a Spanx(tm)

Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 11:32 AM (r9UYA)

29 >>Don't know, but there has to be some reason Mike won't "dine alone."

Not even at the 'Y'.

I make the Mrs call a friend or two.

Posted by: Mike Pence at December 16, 2017 11:33 AM (8bEU0)

30 The only man bun worth having must contain cinnamon and pecans.

Posted by: Muldoon at December 16, 2017 11:33 AM (wPiJc)

31 So Vic had never cinnamon bun prior to today?

Let it sit for a moment...

Posted by: Muldoon at December 16, 2017 11:34 AM (wPiJc)

32 I am done buying Christmas presents and I didn't get anything weird.
Posted by: Vic
---
Wow Vic - That is damn close to a misconduct penalty according to the AoSHQ giving guidelines.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 16, 2017 11:34 AM (tr2D7)

33 I got Under Wife a new Galco holster leather handbag. and a Spanx(tm)
Posted by: Under Fire
---
I'm almost afraid to ask this - What did you get Over Wife?

Posted by: Tonypete at December 16, 2017 11:36 AM (tr2D7)

34 Good timing! Just got back from shopping, mostly stocking stuffers and candy (small batch artisanal). What a beautiful day to be out and about.

Found Mom a dish towel that says "Get the hell out of my kitchen!"

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 11:37 AM (qJtVm)

35 Power line- all GOP Senators are in line for tax bill
( thats 75% of the battle)

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 11:38 AM (aC6Sd)

36 wife and i are not exchanging "gifts."

Posted by: chavez the hugo at December 16, 2017 11:38 AM (KP5rU)

37 Pretty much finished shopping: many gifts for the grandsons, had a beautiful old watercolor and three etchings of buildings from my older daughter's alma mater rematted/framed, a collection of jewelry bought at auction for my younger daughter, misc photography supplies (special printer) and books for husband, and sundry for others who but similar tokens for me.

The grandsons and husband were easy, the daughters took effort as I had to sit at an auction all day. I love auctions, but there was a little suspense over the etchings

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 11:38 AM (5gaNQ)

38 And the man bun is pretty damn gross

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 11:39 AM (5gaNQ)

39 >>I'm almost afraid to ask this - What did you get Over Wife?

Deplorable Cookbook.

Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 11:39 AM (r9UYA)

40 Dave Barry's Holiday Gift Guide

Ok, which one of the 'ettes is in that picture of a woman taking an ax to the kitchen safe?

Posted by: Hands at December 16, 2017 11:39 AM (EzdLW)

41
Her Majesty and I asked each other what we wanted for Christmas. Neither of us could think of anything (realistic).

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 16, 2017 11:40 AM (NNTHT)

42 Mattel was going to put out a line of Three Stooges dolls, but in the current climate of sexual harassment allegations they didn't want to risk putting another Shemp on the Barbie.

Posted by: Muldoon at December 16, 2017 11:40 AM (wPiJc)

43 Missus Muldoon and I are giving each other a paid off mortgage for Christmas. Woot!

Posted by: Muldoon at December 16, 2017 11:41 AM (wPiJc)

44 Except for the grandchildren, we give consumable gifts such as fruit, cheese, wine.

Posted by: colfax mingo at December 16, 2017 11:42 AM (C8LGv)

45 12 Man buns should be illegal.
Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 11:23 AM (r9UYA)

On the contrary, they'll save us a lot of time when the Burning Times come.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 16, 2017 11:44 AM (ri1Ra)

46 44 Except for the grandchildren, we give consumable gifts such as fruit, cheese, wine.
Posted by: colfax mingo at December 16, 2017 11:42 AM (C8LGv)

Happy to hear you don't consider the grandchildren to be consumable.

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 16, 2017 11:44 AM (TisfY)

47 Her Majesty and I asked each other what we wanted for Christmas. Neither of us could think of anything (realistic).

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 16, 2017 11:40 AM (NNTHT)

========

I'd like to get Hillary's cybernetic implants. The ones that will give her immortality and allow her to be Emperor for eternity starting 2020.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at December 16, 2017 11:45 AM (/qEW2)

48 Man buns should be illegal.
Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 11:23 AM (r9UYA)

On the contrary, they'll save us a lot of time when the Burning Times come.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 16, 2017 11:44 AM (ri1Ra)

I thought the only reason women go to the rodeo is the man buns.

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 16, 2017 11:46 AM (TisfY)

49 43 Missus Muldoon and I are giving each other a paid off mortgage for Christmas. Woot!
Posted by: Muldoon at December 16, 2017 11:41 AM (wPiJc)

---------------

Congrats! You'll find out over the years that having that debt gone is the best gift of all.

Posted by: Soona at December 16, 2017 11:46 AM (ZijL5)

50 >>42 Mattel was going to put out a line of Three Stooges dolls

Someone on the main road by us has light up 3 stooges blow molds out on the lawn as part of their Christmas decorations. Had to take a second look as I drove by.

Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 11:46 AM (r9UYA)

51 Shit is getting real here in Santa Barbara. Winds kicked up early morning (30 MPH, 60 MPH gusts) and now have voluntary evacuation zone coming into the city proper. It is raining ash, my buddy calls this Mexican Snow.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at December 16, 2017 11:46 AM (3BFzK)

52 >>my buddy calls this Mexican Snow

I thought that was cocaine.

Posted by: Aviator at December 16, 2017 11:48 AM (2cuLk)

53 Oh Mandy,
Well you colored and stayed within the lines
So Crayola away

Oh Mandy
You filled in my face with Burnt Amber
Now go to the next page
Oh Mandy

Posted by: Hands at December 16, 2017 11:48 AM (EzdLW)

54
So that is what a "man bun' is.
Posted by: Vic We Have No Party

Aw, I bet you could pull it off.

Yeah, they make velcro attached man buns.
You could pull that off.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 16, 2017 11:48 AM (IqV8l)

55 >>Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at December 16, 2017 11:46 AM (3BFzK)

Stay safe Jukin.

Posted by: garrett at December 16, 2017 11:49 AM (8bEU0)

56 At this point any hairstyle would be nice, but alas, there is only one for me at this point. Too bad a combover from my ears is too difficult to pull off.

Posted by: Concerned Peoples Front at December 16, 2017 11:49 AM (2X7pN)

57
I'd like to get Hillary's cybernetic implants. The ones that will give her immortality and allow her wake up every morning knowing she'll never be President of the United States. Like Groundhog Day with no redemption.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 16, 2017 11:49 AM (NNTHT)

58 >>On the contrary, they'll save us a lot of time when the Burning Times come.

Never thought about that. It's like 'come shoot me.'

I retract my previous comment.

Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 11:49 AM (r9UYA)

59
Someone on the main road by us has light up 3 stooges blow molds out on the lawn as part of their Christmas decorations. Had to take a second look as I drove by.
Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 11:46 AM (r9UYA)

Ohhh... so Three Wise Guys, eh?

*triple slap*

Posted by: Hands at December 16, 2017 11:50 AM (EzdLW)

60 54
So that is what a "man bun' is.
Posted by: Vic We Have No Party

Aw, I bet you could pull it off.

Yeah, they make velcro attached man buns.
You could pull that off.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 16, 2017 11:48 AM (IqV8l)

There are few things scarier than an older gentleman with a man bun or a skullet -shudder.

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 16, 2017 11:50 AM (TisfY)

61 I've been threatening my brother-in-law with an unknown gift for a couple of years. He doesn't know it, but he's going to get a very nicely tanned/preserved buffalo scrotum on stand filled with a nice selection of mixed nuts. Ebay makes me dangerous. I'm just waiting until my nieces are older or even out of the house.

I also need someone to lend me a couple grand or several taxidermied heads of unusual animals, i.e. not just another deer. My other BiL has a nice man cave with his trophies on the wall, and I've been wanting to switch them out for animals he's never hunted, one at a time, just to see how long it takes him to notice.

Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Low Glycemic Souls at December 16, 2017 11:50 AM (tMFgx)

62
My instructions to the barber is simple: get #3 clippers and go all around.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 16, 2017 11:51 AM (NNTHT)

63 Diogenes, assuming you have already gotten Mrs. D a cookbook *cough* what about a cookbook stand or pretty apron or nice dish towels to go with it? Or, if that's dangerous territory (it's not for me but it is for some!) what about getting some body lotion in her favorite perfume scent, or some other kind of self-pampering gift she wouldn't get herself?

Posted by: bluebell at December 16, 2017 11:52 AM (kNasr)

64 Ten bucks says that any girl who gets a Man-Bun Ken for Christmas *and* has a kid brother will have that man bun get ripped off Ken's head within 48 hours.

Posted by: They Can't Have My French Fries at December 16, 2017 11:52 AM (bu1bG)

65 >>My instructions to the barber is simple:

I ususally tell the girl - "Do your worst. See if I care."

Posted by: garrett at December 16, 2017 11:52 AM (8bEU0)

66 When do they come out with tatted up Ken and Barbie?

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 16, 2017 11:54 AM (TisfY)

67 Just ordered the last Christmas present. It was for the grandson. A case of low recoil 20 gauge shotgun shells. His father is getting him a skeet thrower. Not bad for a nine year old.

Posted by: Agitator at December 16, 2017 11:54 AM (Ht79x)

68 My instructions to the barber is simple: get #3 clippers and go all around.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 16, 2017 11:51 AM (NNTHT)

You know you're in the right place when the barber's chairs still have the little flip-out ashtrays in the arm rests.

Posted by: hogmartin at December 16, 2017 11:55 AM (y87Qq)

69 65 >>My instructions to the barber is simple:

I ususally tell the girl - "Do your worst. See if I care."
Posted by: garrett at December 16, 2017 11:52 AM (8bEU0)

----------------

Heh. Simplicity reigns as one gets older. It's wonderful.

Posted by: Soona at December 16, 2017 11:56 AM (ZijL5)

70 Dave Barry, it's been fun, but I'm done with you.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at December 16, 2017 11:57 AM (rnAwa)

71 That list was actually pretty damn funny. The eagle briefs of man torso bathing suit were hilarious. Seriously that wine purse is actually a totally great gift.

Posted by: lin-duh at December 16, 2017 11:58 AM (kufk0)

72 The Gun And Target Recordable Alarm Clock had to have been invented by a Moron.

http://amzn.to/2CHokzr

Posted by: Hands at December 16, 2017 11:58 AM (EzdLW)

73 Or...not of...

Posted by: lin-duh at December 16, 2017 11:58 AM (kufk0)

74 I am going to drop this here without comment.

https://tinyurl.com/ybhv9tmg

Something there for the whole horde.

You can trust my links v

Posted by: blaster at December 16, 2017 11:59 AM (x7OgJ)

75 Well just woke up from my morning nap....not much going on around here...

Posted by: lin-duh at December 16, 2017 12:00 PM (kufk0)

76 67 Just ordered the last Christmas present. It was for the grandson. A case of low recoil 20 gauge shotgun shells. His father is getting him a skeet thrower. Not bad for a nine year old.
Posted by: Agitator at December 16, 2017 11:54 AM (Ht79x)

Great! My grandsons are only 3 and 5, so it's toy vehicles and building toys, but it's nice to know that soon they may be interested in the range.

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:00 PM (5gaNQ)

77 I haven't been in a barber shop for 15 or 20 years. Since most of my hair is gone now I just take a set of clippers and give myself a buzz cut.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 12:00 PM (mpXpK)

78 When do they come out with tatted up Ken and Barbie?

Ben there done that:

"BARBIE Totally STYLIN' TATTOOS Doll w TATTOO STAMPER, Tattoos & Extra FASHIONS (200

"

http://amzn.to/2oo7F0G

Posted by: Hands at December 16, 2017 12:02 PM (EzdLW)

79 78: No end to the lowness, is there. Who wants their little child plotting tats

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:04 PM (5gaNQ)

80 Shopping is done, everything is wrapped. Just need a few more stocking stuffers. As usual, the dog has more presents under the tree than all the adults put together. We're all at an age where it's more fun to watch "the kid" opening her gifts than it is to open our own.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at December 16, 2017 12:04 PM (2NqXo)

81 That is a chick modeling the Mens 3D Eagle Boxer Shorts, if my eyes don't deceive. At least Dave Barry didn't model them.

Posted by: Hands at December 16, 2017 12:05 PM (EzdLW)

82 I live across the river from Portland. I see man buns all the time.

For some reason, I am buying knives for Christmas. Stepson gets a locking Buck, which he will probably lose. Husband gets this interesting hand forged Celtic knife. I think he will like it because he used to do blacksmithing. I got myself a Case baby butterbean. The other thing I got were leather goods from Hitch and Timber on Etsy. Too late now to get one in time for Christmas, but they are really wonderful.

Stepson's girlfriend is pregnant, so she is now worthy of a hand knit shawl. I picked up a shawl pin to go with it. And my husband got me a handmade suede purse, with free motion quilting pattern. It's done by Tim Latimer, who is known in quilting circles for his use of treadle sewing machines.

Still don't know what to cook for Christmas dinner. I have the cookbook so I'll figure something out. I'm working that day so not much time.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:05 PM (Lqy/e)

83 Just got a voluntary evacuation alert. If anybody is familiar it goes from Mission street (where the Mission is) to the main drag, State street west to the ocean. That is over half of the city.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at December 16, 2017 12:07 PM (3BFzK)

84 All shopping and wrapping is done!
Retirement: what's not good about it?

Well, the no money part sux.

Posted by: RI Red - No step on snek. at December 16, 2017 12:07 PM (1YChx)

85 Jukin, it sounds horrible out there. Will you leave?

Posted by: bluebell at December 16, 2017 12:08 PM (kNasr)

86 Oh crap! I just scrolled to bottom of Dave Barry article. And he IS modelling the 3D Eagle Boxer Shorts!

I denounce myself. And I denounce Dave Barry.

Posted by: Hands at December 16, 2017 12:08 PM (EzdLW)

87 67 Just ordered the last Christmas present. It was for the grandson. A case of low recoil 20 gauge shotgun shells. His father is getting him a skeet thrower. Not bad for a nine year old.
Posted by: Agitator at December 16, 2017 11:54 AM (Ht79x)

Great! My grandsons are only 3 and 5, so it's toy vehicles and building toys, but it's nice to know that soon they may be interested in the range.

Last year, his dad gave him an AR15 kit. I supplied the lower and he helped assemble it. Always his pick for the range.

Posted by: Agitator at December 16, 2017 12:09 PM (Ht79x)

88 Bluebell,

Yes, the cookbook will be a stocking stuffer.
;-)

I like the idea of lotion. Had not thought of that. Good tip...thanks.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 16, 2017 12:09 PM (0tfLf)

89 No end to the lowness, is there. Who wants their little child plotting tats
=====

One year I found arm tats like a glove for kids. Went into stockings for my big kids (25cts apiece) and they looked at me like I was demented (per usual). I thought it was funny.

Must see if I can find the velcro manbuns. I am waiting for my camo or dark green crocs from at least one of the kidlets. Two pairs of 'dress' black crocs are sufficient -- I need 'tactical' crocs now.

Posted by: mustbequantum at December 16, 2017 12:10 PM (MIKMs)

90 If you use the handy finger puppets while wanking, does that make it an orgy?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:10 PM (qJtVm)

91 Barbie is going after GI Joe unless the SJW's ruined those toys too.

Posted by: Aunt Luna at December 16, 2017 12:10 PM (Zd2ZF)

92 Sent my husband's stepmom a bouquet of flowers. She was always hard to shop for and now that his dad has past.....she doesn't need anything since she's still getting rid of stuff. Flowers are disposable and meant to be fleeting.

Posted by: lin-duh at December 16, 2017 12:10 PM (kufk0)

93 Best sex harassment apology ever from celebrity chef Mario Batali:

"I will work every day to regain your respect and trust," he said in closing the newsletter, signing it "-mb."

The letter then took an unexpected turn.

"ps. in case you're searching for a holiday-inspired breakfast, these Pizza Dough Cinnamon Rolls are a fan favorite."

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Covfefe today! Covfefe tomorrow! Covfefe forever! at December 16, 2017 12:11 PM (+y/Ru)

94 Sex is better than bowling because:

1) you don't need special shoes

2) the balls are a lot lighter

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....living on the prison planet at December 16, 2017 11:18 AM (S6Pax)

Only an insensitive moron would respond, "that's what the pearls are for"

So . . . Consider that done.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 16, 2017 12:11 PM (2K6fY)

95 82 Still don't know what to cook for Christmas dinner. I
have the cookbook so I'll figure something out. I'm working that day so
not much time.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:05 PM (Lqy/e)

I had volunteered to make Hungarian Goulash to take over to MIL's for Christmas but when I called up my recipe to see what all I needed to get from the store for it I noted it has to cook in the crock pot for 9 hours. I retracted that 'volunteer'. 9 hours too long for a take out dish.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 12:11 PM (mpXpK)

96 For some reason, I am buying knives for Christmas.
---
Because you are awesome.

*bats eyelashes on big liquid anime eyes*

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:12 PM (qJtVm)

97 Vic, I disagree! I think that would be the perfect thing. Set it up to cook overnight, then put in the fridge til you go, then reheat it there. Most dishes like goulash and stew taste better the next day anyway.

Posted by: bluebell at December 16, 2017 12:13 PM (kNasr)

98 If you use the handy finger puppets while wanking, does that make it an orgy?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:10 PM (qJtVm)

Like Grandpa always said, anyone who can get things going while wearing little plastic hands on their fingertips is damaged effin' goods.

Posted by: hogmartin at December 16, 2017 12:15 PM (y87Qq)

99 I ordered my copy of the DG on Monday, received it Thursday and my first impression was "OMG, it's YUUUUGE!" Seriously, by the illustration in the sidebar I had expected a smaller book.

Thanks to Bluebell, Weasel, Muldoon, CBD and of course the Horde chefs for this fantastic compilation.

The back cover is great!

And I am not being sarcastic when I say I think this tome will see big fame in the months to come. ;-)

Posted by: fly gal at December 16, 2017 12:15 PM (hippn)

100 But - Will you grow one of your own, now?
Posted by: garrett at December 16, 2017 11:21 AM (8bEU0)

Man-buns are very popular with that segment of hipsters that wake up one morning and realize they are starting to go bald on top.

See? it isn't douchebaggery insisting on itself, it is a fashion statement that is also f.u.n.c.t.i.o.n.a.l.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 16, 2017 12:15 PM (2K6fY)

101 One trip I do have to make this year is to American Science and Surplus (car willing and the crik dont rise). Lotsa fun junk and great people at the register.

https://www.sciplus.com/

Posted by: mustbequantum at December 16, 2017 12:16 PM (MIKMs)

102 I don't care what you say, we can't disband the FBI for its criminal activities. Why, if we were to disband a government agency just because it's corrupt and incompetent we'd bave to disband every . . . .

I may bave to rethink this.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Covfefe today! Covfefe tomorrow! Covfefe forever! at December 16, 2017 12:16 PM (+y/Ru)

103 46 44 Except for the grandchildren, we give consumable gifts such as fruit, cheese, wine.
Posted by: colfax mingo at December 16, 2017 11:42 AM (C8LGv)

Happy to hear you don't consider the grandchildren to be consumable.
Posted by: Northernlurker at December 16, 2017 11:44 AM (TisfY)

----------

I'd save the grandchildren for those really special clients and business associates.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 16, 2017 12:16 PM (OVRJp)

104 Thanks flygal! I'm glad you like it. The Horde really came through with the recipes, didn't they?

Posted by: bluebell at December 16, 2017 12:16 PM (kNasr)

105 "Camptown Races" is racist. In fact it's about pretty much nothing but race.

Posted by: Muldoon at December 16, 2017 12:17 PM (wPiJc)

106 Like Grandpa always said, anyone who can get things going while wearing little plastic hands on their fingertips is damaged effin' goods.
Posted by: hogmartin at December 16, 2017 12:15 PM (y87Qq)
---

*downtwinkles with handy fingers*

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:19 PM (qJtVm)

107
The letter then took an unexpected turn.

"ps. in case you're searching for a holiday-inspired breakfast, these Pizza Dough Cinnamon Rolls are a fan favorite."

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Covfefe today! Covfefe tomorrow! Covfefe forever! at December 16, 2017 12:11 PM (+y/Ru)

Always be closing.
*fist bumps Mario*

Posted by: Hands at December 16, 2017 12:19 PM (EzdLW)

108
I'd save the grandchildren for those really special clients and business associates.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 16, 2017 12:16 PM (OVRJp)
---
The Fisher-Price play cribs are actually veal-fattening pens. Shhh!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:20 PM (qJtVm)

109 Man bun Ken in the pic is missing tattoos, jihad scarf, murse, and latte in his hand.

Posted by: Aunt Luna at December 16, 2017 12:21 PM (Zd2ZF)

110 82Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:05 PM (Lqy/e)

Cool, a fellow knitter 'ette!

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:23 PM (5gaNQ)

111 "Camptown Races" is racist. In fact it's about pretty much nothing but race.
Posted by: Muldoon at December 16, 2017 12:17 PM (wPiJc)

I like the "Blue Tail Fly" myself......

"When I was young, I used to wait
On massa and give him his plate
And pass him the bottle when he got dry
And brush away the blue tail fly
Jimmy, crack corn, I don't care
Jimmy, crack corn and I don't care
Jimmy, crack corn and I don't care
My massa's gone away"

Poor massa......

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at December 16, 2017 12:23 PM (EoRCO)

112 Man bun Ken in the pic is missing tattoos, jihad scarf, murse, and latte in his hand.

Posted by: Aunt Luna at December 16, 2017 12:21 PM (Zd2ZF)

Don't give them any ideas.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Divison at December 16, 2017 12:24 PM (aMlLZ)

113 In the new Star Wars movie, are all the space ships electrically powered?

A lot of people are ignorant of the fact that space ship emissions contribute to AGW, anthropogenic galactic warming, which could result in millions of star systems overheating and tens of billions of lives lost, mostly on third world ... uh worlds.

It's vital to raise awareness on this issue, regardless of whatever other issues the movie is raising awareness of.

Posted by: Obi Al-Gorobi at December 16, 2017 12:24 PM (/qEW2)

114
21st Century Ken - a limerick

The make-over was pretty darn drastic
But the end result's lookin' fantastic
I've got new paraphernalia
Though I lack genitalia
And my man bun is made of molded plastic

Posted by: Muldoon at December 16, 2017 12:24 PM (wPiJc)

115 114: Brilliant

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:25 PM (5gaNQ)

116 The hand forged knife is a Toferner. They have a small one that they claim were worn on a chain around the neck of Celtic women.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:26 PM (Lqy/e)

117 I thought Barbie had a GF and had a button under her dress

Posted by: Matt Lauer's Dream at December 16, 2017 12:28 PM (nr/Gb)

118 Muldoon you're a riot, no idea how you come up with those

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 12:28 PM (aC6Sd)

119 One of my co-workers got a clear crochet hook with an internal LED that lights up when you flip the little switch.

The light is kind of blue.

I think it would be perfect if it had a sound chip in it that made "Schiksshaa, Whooom - Maaawrrrr, Swoooosh, Tchaaak! Tchaakaaak" noises like a tiny little light saber when it was being used.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 16, 2017 12:28 PM (2K6fY)

120 It's not a very complicated shawl. If you are on Ravelry, look up Beckley. I wanted to see if she wears it. Might make something more complicated if she does.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:29 PM (Lqy/e)

121 They have a small one that they claim were worn on a chain around the neck of Celtic women.*
Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:26 PM (Lqy/e)

* not included

Posted by: hogmartin at December 16, 2017 12:29 PM (y87Qq)

122 "A lot of people are ignorant of the fact that space ship emissions contribute to AGW, anthropogenic galactic warming, which could result in millions of star systems overheating and tens of billions of lives lost, mostly on third world ... uh worlds."

Ugh, don't remind me of one of the worst ST:TNG episodes ever, where it was revealed that Warp Drive was slowly destroying the Space Time continuum or something. They were trying to be eco-trendy, and then they ignored everything ever said in that episode from then on, because it's implications were just too incredibly stupid for the entire franchise.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 16, 2017 12:29 PM (V2Yro)

123 Or,

An Hitachi
Posted by: Paolo at December 16, 2017 11:15 AM (8bEU0)
*************
Must
Buy
Batteries

Posted by: Matt Lauer's Dream at December 16, 2017 12:29 PM (nr/Gb)

124 I had bought a large order of Tshirts from gap. Naturally, with the "mail innovations" system the package is on nobody's radar. UPS blames USPS and vice versa.
Interestingly, the rep for USPS identified the weak link in the chain. Apparently when UPS transfers the large pile of packages for USPS to deliver, the USPS clerk merely signs a manifest and nobody verifies what is actually in the delivery. This provides a wonderful opportunity for those in the know to do a little shopping of their own.
Gap refunded my money, but that is not what I wanted. I told them to shove their 10% coupon for "my disappointment".

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:30 PM (5gaNQ)

125 We should figure out how to start extinguishing stars, before the entire universe overheats. To be compassionate, we will start with those without life sustaining planets.

Posted by: Obi Al-Gorobi at December 16, 2017 12:31 PM (/qEW2)

126 111
"Camptown Races" is racist. In fact it's about pretty much nothing but race.

Posted by: Muldoon at December 16, 2017 12:17 PM (wPiJc)

and it was written by a northerner who had never been in the South.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 12:31 PM (mpXpK)

127 I think it would be perfect if it had a sound chip in it that made "Schiksshaa, Whooom - Maaawrrrr, Swoooosh, Tchaaak! Tchaakaaak" noises like a tiny little light saber when it was being used.
------------
**applies for a copyright and starts researching manufacturers **

Posted by: lin-duh at December 16, 2017 12:32 PM (kufk0)

128 http://fxn.ws/2CBvmW5

Gregg Jarrett: Did the FBI and the Justice Department, plot to clear Hillary Clinton, bring down Trump?

Posted by: MISH McConnell at December 16, 2017 12:32 PM (y3aQB)

129 Here you go - from the Barbie Fashionistas line:

https://tinyurl.com/ydh77or8

Man Bun, Cholo, and Surf Nazi.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:32 PM (qJtVm)

130 Oh and if you are buying new knives, the Case is the superior product. Still made in the US. Buck is still made in the US and not bad. They have a lifetime guarantee. I also picked up an Old Timer, made in China. I'm getting rid of that one. Too hard to open up.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:32 PM (Lqy/e)

131 Seems the only present I have to come up with is something for my niece's daughter who is 5

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 12:33 PM (aC6Sd)

132 129 Here you go - from the Barbie Fashionistas line:

https://tinyurl.com/ydh77or8

Man Bun, Cholo, and Surf Nazi.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:32 PM (qJtVm)

The cholo needs a tiny hair net to train his hair.

Posted by: CaliGirl at December 16, 2017 12:33 PM (Ri/rl)

133 For little girls pusheenicorn stuff. My daughter has the stuffed animal and all her friends are begging for one.

Posted by: lin-duh at December 16, 2017 12:34 PM (kufk0)

134 When I got my cookbook, I noticed that the top of the package was torn open, with one of those OOPS stickers closing it. Would have liked to have seen the face of the person that opened it.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:35 PM (Lqy/e)

135 120: Nice! I have always liked the shell and fan patters. Triangles are very chic these days. Both my girls got one from me lately! One chose Reyna, and the other wanted Honeywing.

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:36 PM (5gaNQ)

136 129 Here you go - from the Barbie Fashionistas line:

https://tinyurl.com/ydh77or8

Man Bun, Cholo, and Surf Nazi.

They're looking to hook up with burka Barbie for a foursome.

Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 12:36 PM (r9UYA)

137 133 For little girls pusheenicorn stuff. My daughter has the stuffed animal and all her friends are begging for one.
Posted by: lin-duh at December 16, 2017 12:34 PM (kufk0)
---
Our local artisanal nerd shop had all the pusheen stuff. Cute! I was tempted to buy some plush fuzzy slippers.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:36 PM (qJtVm)

138 I seem remember grandma gave a knive to someone. The receiver had to give her a penny. Can't remember why. something about luck?

Posted by: Infidel at December 16, 2017 12:36 PM (EGFUD)

139 Gregg Jarrett: Did the FBI and the Justice Department, plot to clear Hillary Clinton, bring down Trump?

Is Darth Vader Luke's father?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Covfefe today! Covfefe tomorrow! Covfefe forever! at December 16, 2017 12:36 PM (+y/Ru)

140 You all know what I want for Christmas. That's right, a ficus.

Posted by: Harvey weinstein at December 16, 2017 12:36 PM (b8HGm)

141 I have a small SS Buck knife that I got in a trade with my older brother with a bunch of other knives. I use it a lot. I had misplaced it somewhere in the house and could noty find it so I looked at ordering another one. The I found out it now costs $39 at Amazon. I looked for some cheaper small knife and I save a link to one figuring I would wait until I had a $35 order. I found the knife a day later.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 12:37 PM (mpXpK)

142 Young men scurry away in my presence. Weird.

Posted by: Hairy Reid at December 16, 2017 12:37 PM (b8HGm)

143 Wanted to do something different for family gifts this year. Bought 100 .45 bullets from RMC, that have the Monster Hunter International emblem stamped on the nose of the bullet. Some smallish cotter pins from Lowe's, some nickeled .45 ACP cases, and some smallish split rings from ebay.

Spent some time on the Dillon, and have 25 little key chain thingies, for all the Monster Hunters/Larry Correia fans in the family.

Posted by: Retired Spook at December 16, 2017 12:40 PM (Wd4Yh)

144 I seem remember grandma gave a knive to someone.
The receiver had to give her a penny. Can't remember why. something
about luck?
Posted by: Infidel at December 16, 2017 12:36 PM (EGFUD)

When I was a kid I was told it was because if you didn't pay for it the knife wouldn't know who owned it and it would cut you.

I have been told as an adult it was because otherwise the free knife would cut the relationship.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 16, 2017 12:40 PM (2K6fY)

145 Kindltot, yes, thank you.

Posted by: Infidel at December 16, 2017 12:42 PM (EGFUD)

146 144: I grew up with the latter story, I was told to give the family friend who bought a set of knives for my wedding a coin to prevent a falling out of the families. Grandma was superstitious.

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:43 PM (5gaNQ)

147 Spent some time on the Dillon, and have 25 little key chain thingies, for all the Monster Hunters/Larry Correia fans in the family.
---x---
You know you could have sold the other 75 here, right?

Posted by: lin-duh at December 16, 2017 12:43 PM (kufk0)

148 Oh the weather outside is frightful. But the groping is so delightful.

Posted by: The Progressive Holiday Chorus at December 16, 2017 12:43 PM (Tyii7)

149
They're looking to hook up with burka Barbie for a foursome.
---

Yeah, I clicked the link.

I'm pretty sure that once they're naked and going at it, Barbie could leave and the others would not notice.

Posted by: vyx at December 16, 2017 12:44 PM (aT+Bx)

150 Bluebell,

We have the RV all ready to go and the important stuff is in plastic bins ready to load in Mrs. Jukin's car. We could bug out in about 5 minutes. Staying for now but I was a Boy Scout.

Thanks

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at December 16, 2017 12:45 PM (3BFzK)

151 There should be a guide to placing counter-measures around Nativity scenes this holiday season.

Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 12:47 PM (r9UYA)

152 Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:32 PM (Lqy/e)

Old Timer used to be part of the Imperial Schrade knife company in Ellenville , NY. They also made Uncle Henry. They were sold in 2004 to Taylor Made and the factory was closed.

I collected trappers when I was younger. I have a nice collection I haven't looked at in 20 years. I probably should think of selling it.

Posted by: Alabaster Jones at December 16, 2017 12:47 PM (2DOZq)

153 I also need someone to lend me a couple grand or
several taxidermied heads of unusual animals, i.e. not just another
deer. My other BiL has a nice man cave with his trophies on the wall,
and I've been wanting to switch them out for animals he's never hunted,
one at a time, just to see how long it takes him to notice.

Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Low Glycemic Souls at December 16, 2017 11:50 AM (tMFgx)

Heh. Reminds of a cute ad for Farmer's Insurance I saw last evening on Canadian TV. Oriental family in an RV campground, oohing and aahing as a big bull moose charges a kiddies' swing set. He gets the chains of the swing tangled up in his antlers, tosses his head, and the iron frame of the swing set smashes in the windshield of their RV.
Cut to the Farmer's rep visiting the family in their rec room, and on the wall is a set of mounted moose antlers, with kiddie swing still entangled in it.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 16, 2017 12:48 PM (oPNmq)

154 I do need to get ingredients for something out of the cookbook to take to the Christmas dinner, so need to look through and find a side dish.

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 12:48 PM (aC6Sd)

155 A pocket knife is a great gift for a kid, especially one with cool things like mini scissors. It makes you feel like you're on an adventure.

I was lucky enough to be able to take my Girl Scout knife in for show and tell -- these days the school would be on lockdown.

I would have died and gone to heaven if this sweet piece had been in my Christmas stocking:

https://tinyurl.com/y9aacqnd

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:48 PM (qJtVm)

156 and it was written by a northerner who had never been in the South.

That is true, but not really too surprising since Camptown is in NE Pennsylvania, really close to the New York State border. And yes, they had a race there. Doo. Dah.

"Dixie" was written by an Ohioan.

Posted by: Stringer Davis ]/b] at December 16, 2017 12:50 PM (H5rtT)

157 I also need someone to lend me a couple grand or
several taxidermied heads of unusual animals, i.e. not just another
deer. ....

Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Low Glycemic Souls at December 16, 2017 11:50 AM (tMFgx)
---------------------
Here you go:

https://safariworkstaxidermysales.com/collections/novelty-gifts

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:51 PM (qJtVm)

158 Eris, that was back when girl scouts was fun and taught skills. Now they just push cookies and abortion.

Posted by: Infidel at December 16, 2017 12:51 PM (EGFUD)

159 155: That is a fun looking knife for a kid. As a way around restrictions, you should look for an ornate and girly dagger brooch with a sheath. Some are quite easy to sharpen (the older the better) and with enough curly-cues and rhinestones, nobody thinks it's anything more than an ornament!

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:52 PM (5gaNQ)

160 The Alcalde (U Tex Alum mag) had a story a muns (man buns). I threw it in the trash.

Posted by: rhennigantx at December 16, 2017 12:53 PM (BtQd4)

161 Are the Girl Scouts taking boys yet?

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 12:54 PM (aC6Sd)

162 158: My Girl Scout days were a mixed bag. Some great camping experiences, but our leader was more into the arts, crafts, and hospitality components.

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:54 PM (5gaNQ)

163 Penny also associated with purses; my grandmother once grabbed a gifted purse back from my mom because she had forgotten to put a penny in it. According to her an empty purse given as a gift curses the recipient with poverty.

Posted by: Lirio100 at December 16, 2017 12:54 PM (JK7Jw)

164 158 Eris, that was back when girl scouts was fun and taught skills. Now they just push cookies and abortion.
Posted by: Infidel at December 16, 2017 12:51 PM (EGFUD)
---
It was full of planet-hugging crapola even in my day. GS Camp was the only time we learned practical skillz.

If I had any ambition or talent, I would start some sort of underground GS alternative - Guerrilla Scouts, mayhap?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:54 PM (qJtVm)

165 Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Low Glycemic Souls at December 16, 2017 11:50 AM (tMFgx)

My personal favorite is the jackalope.

Posted by: CaliGirl at December 16, 2017 12:54 PM (Ri/rl)

166 I hate fukn hispters.

Posted by: rhennigantx at December 16, 2017 12:55 PM (BtQd4)

167 That Honeywing pattern is nice! The other reminds me of the garter rib in Martha Waterman's book. Piper's Journey is a good, easy pattern that I've used several times.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:55 PM (Lqy/e)

168 Any reason we weren't ask how our CHRISTMAS shopping was going?

Let's WIN the culture war!

Posted by: CloseTheFed at December 16, 2017 12:56 PM (Kpbco)

169 164: I must be pretty old. We had no planet hugging, but lots of crafting. You would not be unable to sew, knit, crochet and your party planning skills would be well honed. We spent weeks on ceramic and wood painting as well.

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:56 PM (5gaNQ)

170 Oh, there is a Beer Scouts knife! Look it up. Very nice but a bit spendy. You even get a membership button when you buy it.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 12:57 PM (Lqy/e)

171 155 I was lucky enough to be able to take my Girl Scout knife in for show and tell -- these days the school would be on lockdown.

I would have died and gone to heaven if this sweet piece had been in my Christmas stocking:

https://tinyurl.com/y9aacqnd

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:48 PM (qJtVm)

My next door neighbor's little girl was expelled for a week because she brought a butter knife to school in her lunch box.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 12:57 PM (mpXpK)

172 I've seen mounted furry butt's.

Posted by: Shep Smith at December 16, 2017 12:57 PM (r9UYA)

173 167: The Honeywing worked out beautifully, but I usually choose simpler patterns and let the splashy yarns do the work. A variegated or self striping yarn makes easy patterns look lavish.

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 12:59 PM (5gaNQ)

174 My personal favorite is the jackalope.
Posted by: CaliGirl at December 16, 2017 12:54 PM (Ri/rl)
---
I'm torn between Squirrel with Drum Set and Canoeing Raccoon.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:59 PM (qJtVm)

175 I'm torn between Squirrel with Drum Set and Canoeing Raccoon.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:59 PM (qJtVm)

All of those are hilarious. I like the mounted raccoon head.

Posted by: CaliGirl at December 16, 2017 01:00 PM (Ri/rl)

176 My next door neighbor's little girl was expelled for a week because she brought a butter knife to school in her lunch box.
Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 12:57 PM (mpXpK)

How exactly do kids eat their school bought lunches without table knives?

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 01:00 PM (5gaNQ)

177 The Man-bun is not to be confused with the Suebian Knot: https://benmangel.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/osterby_man_suebian-knot.jpg

Otherwise the zombie barbarians will be very angry with you.

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 16, 2017 01:00 PM (bZ7mE)

178 Husband had this ornate replica sword. He didn't have it sharpened (and I'd bet it wouldn't have taken a good edge). We picked up some Damascus steel pocket knives on Ebay for a project. But I like looking for vintage pocket knives. I have a couple of Bokers that are good.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 01:00 PM (Lqy/e)

179 Garden thread up

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 01:01 PM (mpXpK)

180 They have bow-hunting squirrel but no crossbow-hunting squirrel!

I want one straddling a motorcycle, with a little Hell's Angel's jacket, a crossbow, and lank greasy hair hanging in his face.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 01:01 PM (qJtVm)

181 How exactly do kids eat their school bought lunches without table knives?
Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 01:00 PM (5gaNQ)

Sporks.

Posted by: CaliGirl at December 16, 2017 01:01 PM (Ri/rl)

182 181: ah, the runcible spoon! When my kids were in gradeschool, I often sent a plastic knife in their lunchbox as the older one wanted to apply her own condiments on the sandwich to avoid soggy bread. Nobody objected

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 01:03 PM (5gaNQ)

183 We had an Ace of Spades group on Ravelry but it seems to have gone silent.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at December 16, 2017 01:03 PM (Lqy/e)

184 This one would take pride of place on my holiday tablescape:

http://geekologie.com/2012/11/classic-taxidermied-rodeo-squirrel-ridin.php

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 01:03 PM (qJtVm)

185 183: we should bring it back?

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 01:04 PM (5gaNQ)

186 My next door neighbor's little girl was expelled for a week because she brought a butter knife to school in her lunch box.

We're doomed.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at December 16, 2017 01:05 PM (Tyii7)

187 Back to wrapping presents. Later taters!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 01:05 PM (qJtVm)

188 Couldn't imagine having to send a kid to the pubic Leftist Seminary

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 01:05 PM (aC6Sd)

189 Does OIG have an inside man?

https://tinyurl.com/ybmf7jo5

Posted by: harry lime at December 16, 2017 01:08 PM (ALDN3)

190 186 My next door neighbor's little girl was expelled for a week because she brought a butter knife to school in her lunch box.

We're doomed.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at December 16, 2017 01:05 PM (Tyii7)
One of my local kids was suspended for a week for bringing pink gin to model UN. How else was the weekend going to de tolerable!

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 01:08 PM (5gaNQ)

191 When the left pontificates about "zero tolerance", they mean it.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at December 16, 2017 01:10 PM (Tyii7)

192 189: I saw this. Donks certainly have infiltrated the FBI

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 01:10 PM (5gaNQ)

193 176 How exactly do kids eat their school bought lunches without table knives?

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 01:00 PM (5gaNQ)

I don't know, probably with shitty plastic knives, forks, and spoons in plastic sleeves like you get in a chicken plate at at a fast food place.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at December 16, 2017 01:11 PM (mpXpK)

194 Off to work

Posted by: CN at December 16, 2017 01:12 PM (5gaNQ)

195 Just finished the EMT, not ready for the Garden thread. Guess I'll just put this here.

Vic linked this morning to a Breitbart article saying noted internationally-acclaimed freestyle theologian J.K. Rowling expressed her belief that God is a black woman.

She apparently had been watching that George Burns movie, God, the scene in the grocery store.

https://youtu.be/IBdgRBvFwlM

Posted by: mindful webworker - risen & shining at December 16, 2017 01:12 PM (SMh/7)

196
This one would take pride of place on my holiday tablescape:

http://geekologie.com/2012/11/classic-taxidermied-rodeo-squirrel-ridin.php

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 01:03 PM (qJtVm)

You have to visit the Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington, Alberta:
http://gopherholemuseum.ca/dioramas/

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 16, 2017 01:12 PM (oPNmq)

197 How exactly do kids eat their school bought lunches without table knives?
-------
It explains the atrocious table manners. They have to use their hands. At home parents are cutting their food for them until they leave Home at 26...30....35....or something.
We are teaching knife skills at home along with table manners.

Posted by: lin-duh at December 16, 2017 01:16 PM (kufk0)

198 Dammit Pennsylvania, you beat me to it.

I got next.

Posted by: Random Hawaii Judge #7 at December 16, 2017 01:16 PM (KCgrJ)

199

I don't know, probably with shitty plastic knives, forks, and
spoons in plastic sleeves like you get in a chicken plate at at a fast
food place.

So much for 'sustainability.'

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at December 16, 2017 01:18 PM (oVJmc)

200
When the left pontificates about "zero tolerance", they mean it.
Posted by: Notorious BFD

We tolerated Zero for eight years.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 16, 2017 01:20 PM (IqV8l)

201 http://bit.ly/2BkmunR

DUMocRATS really seem SPOOKED

Posted by: MISH McConnell at December 16, 2017 01:20 PM (y3aQB)

202 You have to visit the Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington, Alberta:
http://gopherholemuseum.ca/dioramas/
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 16, 2017 01:12 PM (oPNmq)
---
Ha! I loved the gophers dragging the chipmunk off to the museum to be stuffed.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 01:21 PM (qJtVm)

203 Oh FFS: "L.A. is reining in gang injunctions. That's a good thing"

http://tinyurl.com/yb5kppmr (goes to LAT)

The Times reported Monday that Feuer has sent 7,300 letters informing people they were no longer subject to gang injunctions. That's more than three-quarters of the people who were covered, and marks a major policy shift for the city.

The reasons for the shift are open to debate. It may well be, as some city leaders argue, that the injunctions did their work, helping to persuade thousands of gang members — mostly young men — to change their ways, leave gang life and turn to more responsible and productive activities. Or it could be that gangs, though still the source of much criminal activity in Los Angeles, are no longer as pervasive and no longer pose the same level of threat that they did 20 or 30 years ago.

Huh?

I have another conjecture: maybe most of the gang a-holes are now doing long stretches in the jug, or are dead.

Apparently, the LAT didn't think of that one.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 16, 2017 01:22 PM (ri1Ra)

204 We are teaching knife skills at home along with table manners.
Posted by: lin-duh at December 16, 2017 01:16 PM (kufk0)
---

Knife Skills = Life Skills

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 01:22 PM (qJtVm)

205 I saw Runcible Spoon lecture at Reed College about the use of sustainability to promote success in merchant banking. It was part of the Socialism and Inherited Wealth series.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 16, 2017 01:23 PM (2K6fY)

206 She owns her own ball.
Posted by: Kindltot at December 16, 2017 11:15 AM (2K6fY)

Makes her a keeper.

Posted by: Fox2! at December 16, 2017 01:24 PM (brIR5)

207 to change their ways, leave gang life and turn to more responsible and productive activities

Yeah, I'm sure.

Btw, I'm covering all bets on this.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 16, 2017 01:27 PM (ri1Ra)

208 If you have a man bun and not a Samurai you're doing it wrong.
Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 11:32 AM (aC6Sd)

Sumo are also acceptable.

Posted by: Fox2! at December 16, 2017 01:29 PM (brIR5)

209 Ha! I loved the gophers dragging the chipmunk off to the museum to be stuffed.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 01:21 PM (qJtVm)

Technically not a chipmunk, which is a woodland animal, but a five-banded ground squirrel, supposedly rarer than the Richardson's Ground Squirrels which make up the majority of the critters in the museum. I have the 5-band kind in my yard, and have shot a few, because they dig massive burrows that can trap the riding mower.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 16, 2017 01:29 PM (oPNmq)

210 Horde:

Welcome to Day 9 of Minnesota Senate Seat Held Hostage, curtesy of serial groper-grabber Honorable Al Franken, who denies guilt despite reports and photos.

Posted by: Meremortal, no proseccutions, no peace! at December 16, 2017 01:30 PM (3myMJ)

211 Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 16, 2017 01:29 PM (oPNmq)
---
Entertaining AND educational!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 01:31 PM (qJtVm)

212 Agree, would never tell a sumo wrestle his man bun isn't manly, consider he probably would out weigh me 6 to 1

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 01:31 PM (aC6Sd)

213 DUMocRATS really seem SPOOKED

The whole thing is falling apart and they're trying to make that out to be Trump's fault.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at December 16, 2017 01:34 PM (oVJmc)

214 Entertaining AND educational!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 01:31 PM (qJtVm)

Incidentally, when the museum opened, they got all sorts of flak from the Usual Suspects on the looney Left.

And they didn't. do. anything. And they are still there, and open seasonally.
Maybe there is a lesson there.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 16, 2017 01:36 PM (oPNmq)

215 If the media wasn't all a bunch of Leftists it would have been all over before the election even started

Posted by: Skip at December 16, 2017 01:37 PM (aC6Sd)

216 Red clown nose on a mounted deer snout is always funny.

Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 01:41 PM (r9UYA)

217 If I had any ambition or talent, I would start some sort of underground GS alternative - Guerrilla Scouts, mayhap?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 12:54 PM (qJtVm)

Many churches are replacing GS with American Heritage Girls.

Posted by: Fox2! at December 16, 2017 01:47 PM (brIR5)

218 Eris, the Amazon Legion?

Cooking, hospitality, woodcraft, sniping and explosives.

Sounds like a winner.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 16, 2017 01:49 PM (2K6fY)

219 Posted by: Kindltot at December 16, 2017 01:49 PM (2K6fY)
---
Yes. Yes.

Girls will need to know how to do the Parthian shot for their Archery Badge.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 02:14 PM (qJtVm)

220 Just finished the EMT,

-
Caption for the Christmas decorations on the palm trees photo:

Cum they told me pa rump a pum pum.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Covfefe today! Covfefe tomorrow! Covfefe forever! at December 16, 2017 02:16 PM (+y/Ru)

221 CREEPY JACKALOPE EYE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCh0bLxqtHQ

Posted by: THE SUPERSUCKERS at December 16, 2017 02:16 PM (8bEU0)

222 Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Covfefe today! Covfefe tomorrow! Covfefe forever! at December 16, 2017 02:16 PM (+y/Ru)

The Little Drubber Boy

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 02:18 PM (qJtVm)

223 Welcome to Day 9 of Minnesota Senate Seat Held Hostage, curtesy of serial groper-grabber Honorable Al Franken, who denies guilt despite reports and photos.

-
He surely won't lie to us this time!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Covfefe today! Covfefe tomorrow! Covfefe forever! at December 16, 2017 02:18 PM (+y/Ru)

224 Bought my wife a new snow shovel. I'm sure she'll just love it!!

Posted by: thatcrazyjerseyguy at December 16, 2017 02:18 PM (TPimP)

225 Girls will need to know how to do the Parthian shot for their Archery Badge.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 02:14 PM (qJtVm)

Certainly there is no merit badge like the hunting of man merit badge, and young ladies who have earned the hunting of armed men merit badge and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter.

Posted by: hogmartin at December 16, 2017 02:22 PM (y87Qq)

226 have another conjecture: maybe most of the gang a-holes are now doing long stretches in the jug, or are dead.

Humor, right?

It is to protect them from la migra.

LA is quite happy to have illegal gang bangers roaming around .

Posted by: JEM at December 16, 2017 02:37 PM (uTDRi)

227 This New Orleans Bowl has actually been pretty fun, even though I just have it on in the background.

Posted by: logprof at December 16, 2017 02:40 PM (GsAUU)

228 Posted by: hogmartin at December 16, 2017 02:22 PM (y87Qq)

Some brave lads will throw themselves in the path of an Amazon horde to spare their brethren the shame of capture.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 02:43 PM (qJtVm)

229 I have another conjecture: maybe most of the gang a-holes are now doing long stretches in the jug, or are dead.

Apparently, the LAT didn't think of that one.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 16, 2017 01:22 PM (ri1Ra)

========

I'd never heard of "gang injunctions" before. Seems an odd notion to me. Although it seems a clever way of making membership in a gang into a nuisance so that people would stop joining.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at December 16, 2017 02:47 PM (/qEW2)

230 I need some motivation. Should be writing a few Christmas and combined very late thank-you Christmas cards and making some soup stock with the (frozen) turkey carcass from T-day. I'm perilously close to instead re-reading an old Dell Shannon mystery that I hauled out with intention to list on EBAY.

Posted by: PaleRider, simply irredeemable at December 16, 2017 02:53 PM (84F5k)

231 PaleRider, set a timer and do 20 mins of tasks and 20 mins of reading/loafing.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 02:56 PM (qJtVm)

232 Also, play music to motivate you. (METAL!!!)

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 16, 2017 02:57 PM (qJtVm)

233 Vic linked this morning to a Breitbart article saying noted internationally-acclaimed freestyle theologian J.K. Rowling expressed her belief that God is a black woman.

She apparently had been watching that George Burns movie, God, the scene in the grocery store.

https://youtu.be/IBdgRBvFwlM

Posted by: mindful webworker - risen & shining at December 16, 2017 01:12 PM (SMh/7)

========

To repeat myself from the weird news dump.

There IS a novel about God as a black woman called "The Shack" written several years ago by a (white liberal) Christian nutter. It was even made into a movie.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at December 16, 2017 02:57 PM (/qEW2)

234 Meow thread is nood.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at December 16, 2017 02:58 PM (/qEW2)

235 Indiana Residents Oppose Planned ICE Detention Center, May Drive Away A Large Portion Of The Population Who Are 'Immigrants' -WZ

Paging Mike Pence. Mike Pence please.

Posted by: Under Fire at December 16, 2017 03:16 PM (r9UYA)

236 Is that a man-bun? I have to admit that I thought a man-bun was something else, further back on the head, like a pirate thing. That looks like a top-knot.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 16, 2017 03:38 PM (WbIyz)

237 Everybody gets a copy of Manilow's Greatest Hits, and a box of shotgun shells.

Posted by: KentAllard at December 17, 2017 01:07 AM (TQw9b)

238 That purple bit under the new banana bunch is called the banana "heart". It is an essential ingredient in some excellent pinoy cuisine.

Posted by: Cluebat at December 17, 2017 06:24 PM (9WTDY)

Processing 0.03, elapsed 0.0345 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0141 seconds, 246 records returned.
Page size 124 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.