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Thursday Night ONT - Wordplay Edition

So, welcome to the Thursday night ONT. Mis Hum was kind enough to swap days with me, so from now on you Thursday night Morons are going to be stuck with me. Wednesday nighters breathe a sigh of relief.

Rape.jpg

Indeed, grammar is quite important, as is capitalization. Proper capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse. Even the dreaded Oxford comma has its place.

An Oxford comma changed this court case completely


What is an Oxford comma? The 'Oxford comma' is an optional comma before a conjunction at the end of a list. For example: “This dress comes in yellow, green, red and white” Now, are there four colors of dress available, or three? With the Oxford comma after the word 'red', it's obviously four. Without it, it could be argued that there are only three choices, yellow, green, and a dress that is both red and white. That was the thrust of the above case.

Specifically, the ruling in favor of Oakhurst delivery drivers came down to Maine state law, which dictates that the following activities are not subject to overtime protections:

"The canning, processing, preserving,
freezing, drying, marketing, storing,
packing for shipment or distribution of:
(1) Agricultural produce;
(2) Meat and fish products; and
(3) Perishable foods."

The trouble rests with "or." The presence of that tiny conjunction without a comma as a companion makes for some muddled meanings: Is "packing for shipment or distribution" exempt from overtime regulations? Or are both "packing for shipment" and "distribution" exempt?

These aren't idle questions for the five delivery drivers who sued Oakhurst, because as Quartz notes, "the drivers do distribute, but do not pack, the perishable food." In other words, one interpretation of the law's list would make the drivers eligible for overtime pay; the other would mean they won't get those extra dollars for extra time on the job.

When I was studying for my degree in history, the professor who taught the required course in historical research used to admonish us over and over “Be pedantic, be pedantic, be pedantic!”. This is especially true in legal circles.


On the Other Hand, Sometimes the Law Can be Fun


Our very own empress, Alexthechick, has been bemoaning on Twitter that she didn't get to file this motion:

Buzzfeed.jpg

Brilliant stuff, and as The Volokh Conspiracy notes over at WaPo, Yes, the motion actually included a picture of a kitten (pic at link). Is this a new trend? Are US courts going to be inundated by briefs containing kittens? Stay tuned to find out.

Kitten brief.jpg

Movie Reviews


I suspect this first one is a photoshop or a technical error:


Shrek 2.jpg


I'd watch that though. This next one is a bit more clever, however, and it gives me an idea for tonight’s ONT game:


oz.jpg


That's an accurate description of the events in the movie. Misleading, but accurate. So, how about this? Post one or two sentence summations of a movie that are accurate, but completely misleading. I'll start:

E.T.: Young boy attempts to thwart government agents desperately trying to protect Earth from an alien invasion.

Raiders of the Lost Ark: Unprincipled grave robber travels the globe to fight with Nazis over a golden box.

What have you got?

Phrasing

I'm sure the wishes were well meant, but perhaps Ms. Yamaguchi could have found a better way to put this.



B.O.L.O.


They're looking for a sex offender in Sweden. The newspaper helpfully published this photo of the suspect.

BOLO.jpg


In related news, Mr. Magoo has called Stockholm's police tip line 37 times in the past hour.

(I do not speak or read any Swedish beyond 'Bork! Bork! Bork!'. If the text says differently than I've represented, please let me know in the comments)


Cute

Little girl thinks a discarded hot water heater is a robot:


Ace posted this yesterday for the daywalkers, but it deserves another look. “I love you robot!” So cute.


Maps

I love maps. I have a huge framed map of the US on the wall of the living room. Maps give you the ability to see many things that aren't obvious from down in the weeds. When I am doing military research, or even reading military novels for fun, maps are essential to understand what is going on. (That being said, they aren't the be-all end-all. For example, when I walked the Little Bighorn battlefield, I got a sense for the battle more complete than any map could have conveyed. Seriously, if you're ever in the area, go, it's excellent. Plus there's a visceral thrill to walking the same ground where horses thundered and men died 141 years ago. It's the best battlefield National Park I've been to).

Here's a fun one: This is a map of the world where each country's area is proportional to its GDP.

Cartogram.jpg

Russia is that thin line atop Asia. No wonder we were able to spend the USSR into bankruptcy.

Tonight's ONT brought to you by points it's hard to argue with:

DNA.jpg

Someone turned The Yahoo Group into a chicken. Hey, birds are dinosaurs (or more accurately, dinosaurs were very bird-like).

Posted by: WeirdDave at 10:00 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 *Another Win*

Blame Trump, Bitches!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 09:54 PM (6gk0M)

2 Silver!

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at March 30, 2017 09:54 PM (kP16F)

3 Wait, what is wrong with the sign?

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 30, 2017 09:54 PM (aZq03)

4 fist... er fin

Posted by: dolphin pr0n at March 30, 2017 09:55 PM (nlbfN)

5 Th

Posted by: ALH at March 30, 2017 09:55 PM (Z56vq)

6 Maps

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 09:56 PM (tHwdc)

7 Fauxcahantas in Spaaace!!1!

Demonstrating how O'Sullivan's First Law (or Conquest's Second Law), that every organization that is not explicitly right-wing, becomes left-wing over time, is so very true, the Science Fiction publisher Tor--hand in hand with the World Science Fiction Convention and Hugo Awards--has decided to celebrate the intransigence of and old pasty White person, who pretends to be an Indian (feather, not dot), by putting together an anthology based on Sen. Mitch McConnell's response to her: "Nevertheless, she persisted".

More: http://politicalhat.com/?p=13153

Posted by: The Political Hat at March 30, 2017 09:56 PM (vBeA5)

8 Milk: It Does A White Supremacy Good?

Critical Race Studies Logic: Milk is white; White is racist; ergo milk is racist!!1!

More: http://politicalhat.com/?p=13209

Posted by: The Political Hat at March 30, 2017 09:56 PM (vBeA5)

9 *Another Win*

Blame Trump, Bitches!
Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 09:54 PM (6gk0M)

======

Run away!

Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 09:56 PM (4fWyx)

10 New Mexico Avoids Legalizing Death Dealing Doctors... For Now

Euthanasia may be on the march across Europe and many American states... but not in New Mexico... for now:

More: http://politicalhat.com/?p=13218

Posted by: The Political Hat at March 30, 2017 09:58 PM (vBeA5)

11 Wizard of Oz was Two Women and a GUY fighting over a pair of shoes...

Posted by: Don Q. at March 30, 2017 09:59 PM (NgKpN)

12 No no, birds are actually dinosaurs, to any respectable cladist.

http://palaeos.com/vertebrates/dinosauria/dinosauria.html#Dinosauria

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 09:59 PM (CPk08)

13 Is the little girl named Sarah Connor?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: the terminator at March 30, 2017 10:00 PM (Eu36q)

14 Jag har ALDRIG tafsat pa dig!

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:00 PM (tHwdc)

15 Willowed, so reposting.

275
Hey 'rons. Sorry I haven't been around lately, life is busy.


I
hate to stop by just to ask for something, but I need some prayers for
my father-in-law. He's 88, been in poor health for 10+ years and just
got a call from the BIL that he's fallen, the ambulance is there and
transporting him to the hospital. No info on what is wrong at this
point.


To be honest, at this point, I'm not sure what to ask
you to pray for. He has had a very low quality of life since his heart
attack in 2005. He has been in and out of the hospital for years. I
guess I just want some peace for him in some way. Whether that means
healing or a release from this life, only God knows that.


Thanks. You guys always come through in the time of need.


Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 09:54 PM (+eR2D)

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:00 PM (+eR2D)

16 Inequality! We're hogging all the world's GNP!!1!

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at March 30, 2017 10:01 PM (QsIDL)

17 I posted this downstairs, but got Willowed:

I had an insurance sales guy come by my office today, because I had spoken to him about some very specific insurance needs I had. I made sure to tell him I wanted to talk only about those very specific needs.

So, he shows up, and what do I get? Death by Powerpoint. His personal history, the company history, etc. I reminded him I had very specific needs, and little time. The rambling continued. I reminded him again. He skipped 2 slides and kept plodding along.

I finally said "give me a quote on whatI asked you about, or stop wasting my time with this extraneous crap I am not going to buy, as I told you from the start.

He slams the lid on laptop and says "I have a process I have to go through, Sir!".

Not with me you don't, Sport. I manage approaching a thousand sales people. This drone would not last a week with me.

Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 10:01 PM (4fWyx)

18 Great trade - and awesome content.

Thanks, WeirdDave!

Baby Sister Update coming up.

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 10:01 PM (vUcdz)

19 I don't have an uncle Jack.

Posted by: Guy who has no idea what is going on at March 30, 2017 10:02 PM (BO/km)

20 >>>That's an accurate description of the events in the movie. Misleading,
but accurate. So, how about this? Post one or two sentence summations of
a movie that are accurate, but completely misleading. I'll start:<<<




A lot of seamen in a big tube almost start a war between the USA and USSR.

Posted by: The Hunt for Red October at March 30, 2017 10:02 PM (Co0D0)

21 Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:00 PM (+eR2D)

Thoughts & Prayers

Posted by: The Political Hat at March 30, 2017 10:02 PM (vBeA5)

22 "Run away!"
-Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 09:56 PM (4fWyx)

*HAH!*

I stood my ground and took the slings and arrows, this time!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:03 PM (6gk0M)

23 Evening Horde.

You mouth breathers piss anyone off today?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:03 PM (89UPP)

24 TPH: putting your links on their own line makes them easier to select/copy/paste, especially on a tablet. I know it's whiny first-world problems shit, but either omitting the 'More:' or putting them on their own line helps.

Mahalo for your kokua!

Posted by: hogmartin at March 30, 2017 10:04 PM (8nWyX)

25 I always thought the Oxford comma was "the nun comma". Those nuns were sticklers. I had a friend who attended public school and was shocked to learn that they did not put in the final comma. It just seemed so sloppy and incomplete to me. Then I moved and attended a public junior high school. Let's just say that standards were lower.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 30, 2017 10:04 PM (+lVUW)

26 Well Flyboy, if your needs are health insurance related, I'm your huckleberry.

Plus I'm too stupid to ramble on, so I got that going for me.

Posted by: Weirddave at March 30, 2017 10:04 PM (QGamW)

27 Evening Horde.

You mouth breathers piss anyone off today?
Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:03 PM (89UPP)

=====

Yep. See 17 above.

Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 10:05 PM (4fWyx)

28 Proper capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
===

What color is the horse?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at March 30, 2017 10:05 PM (KgpWR)

29 Woot woot

TONT

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 30, 2017 10:05 PM (voOPb)

30 Proper capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Dave would you like some sausage?

Posted by: Tom Green at March 30, 2017 10:05 PM (vRcUp)

31 Yep. See 17 above.
Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 10:05 PM (4fWyx)




hahahahahhahaah.

"A process!!"

Tell me you laughed out loud.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:06 PM (89UPP)

32 grammar. we dont need no stinkn grammar

Posted by: Junie159 at March 30, 2017 10:06 PM (Q+Oiy)

33 Thank you, Horde. Y'all really are gold.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:07 PM (+eR2D)

34 Well Flyboy, if your needs are health insurance related, I'm your huckleberry.

Plus I'm too stupid to ramble on, so I got that going for me.
Posted by: Weirddave at March 30, 2017 10:04 PM (QGamW)

=======

It is, actually. My email is listed in nic if we could talk offline.

Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 10:07 PM (4fWyx)

35 Proper punctuation can save a life:

"Let's eat Grandma!"

"Let's eat, Grandma!"

Posted by: MathMom at March 30, 2017 10:07 PM (mSbwX)

36 Hallo peoples!

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity wench) at March 30, 2017 10:07 PM (yTnCT)

37 You mouth breathers piss anyone off today?

*strums blues chords*

Oh I woke up this mornin',
I say, I woke up this mornin',
And I done somethin' wrong.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at March 30, 2017 10:07 PM (5p/Pr)

38 "Evening Horde.

You mouth breathers piss anyone off today?
"
-Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:03 PM (89UPP)

I try to, but people just get used to me.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:08 PM (6gk0M)

39 Asking God's intercession for you BIL, DangerGirl.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:08 PM (tHwdc)

40 Love and prayers up your way, Dangergirl.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:09 PM (6gk0M)

41 Weird, old hermit takes impressionable young lad for a joyride in a beat up vehicle. Teaches him how to play with his sword.

Posted by: Star Wars at March 30, 2017 10:09 PM (Co0D0)

42 Still my favorite oxford comma image

http://___ur.com/gallery/fycHx

Posted by: BacktoGA at March 30, 2017 10:09 PM (/22Vh)

43 Baby Sister Update:

First from Joyce's dear friend yesterday:

"Great news. Joyce has called me on her own twice this week. Even better, I get Joyce all day on Saturday while Hubby does some work in the Villa. Hip hip hooray! She told me that she had a very good session with physical therapy today"

And from our cousin this morning:

"Just had great conversation with Joyce- she called me back"

When it comes to the phone, Joyce is definitely her mother's daughter.

Please continue praying for Joyce to find a path to healing.

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 10:09 PM (vUcdz)

44 The Sound of Music

Rich Austrian entertainers use the resistance to further their singing careers in Allied territory after Nazis deutschmark falls against dollar.

Posted by: Hopped Up On Something at March 30, 2017 10:10 PM (k7fBu)

45 LOL that comic was funny

Posted by: thathalfrican - straight killin' it at March 30, 2017 10:10 PM (nDcc3)

46 Flynn requesting immunity is #FakeNews. Should fix that.

Posted by: RokShox at March 30, 2017 10:10 PM (yehh7)

47 More Great News, ibguy!

*throws confetti*

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:10 PM (6gk0M)

48 Constant prayers for Joyce, and all of you, ibguy.

I pray a lot nowadays.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:10 PM (tHwdc)

49 Maps are always a good idea.

Posted by: t-bird at March 30, 2017 10:11 PM (ZIFyZ)

50 I try to, but people just get used to me.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:08 PM (6gk0M)



Up the frequency of profanity. If that doesn't work, start commenting on people's weight.

"Wow. You've gained a few pounds lately huh?" will surely send some people into a rage.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:11 PM (89UPP)

51 Prayers up Danger Girl.. good to see you even if under such circumstances.

Posted by: DeplorableJewells45 at March 30, 2017 10:11 PM (CNHr1)

52 32 grammar. we dont need no stinkn grammar
Posted by: Junie159 at March 30, 2017 10:06 PM (Q+Oiy)

No arguments from me

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 30, 2017 10:11 PM (voOPb)

53 16 Inequality! We're hogging all the world's GNP!!1!
Posted by: Kodos the Executioner


It must be racism. Well, the Asians do pretty well, but that doesn't count because, as non-whites, they don't do so well in the victim competition.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 30, 2017 10:13 PM (+lVUW)

54 Tell me you laughed out loud.
Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:06 PM (89UPP)

=======

Naahhh....just showed him the door as a fcuking drone, read a Powerpoint sales guy is of no interest to me, especially after I had been very fcuking specific in my requirements.

Any sales person who can not listen to a customer is of no interest to me, as a customer or as an employer of sales people.

Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 10:13 PM (4fWyx)

55 Star Wars.

Kid grows up and tries to learn how to kill own dad, and kiss his sister.

Posted by: Tim in Illinois at March 30, 2017 10:13 PM (d76uN)

56 ibguy, prayers for you and Joyce.

<3 <3

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:13 PM (+eR2D)

57 Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 09:54 PM (+eR2D)

From the last thread.

Prayers sent for your brother-in-law, DangerGirl, as well as for you and your family. May God's will be done and may everyone in your family have God's peace and joy.

Posted by: Michael the Texan (formerly TEXIT) at March 30, 2017 10:13 PM (nvMvs)

58 Apollo 13:

Three men on a road trip are forced to live out of their trailer when their car breaks down; hilarity ensues.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 30, 2017 10:14 PM (8nWyX)

59 Read the content. Skipping the comments so I can watch some tee vee.

Don't judge me.

Posted by: mindful webworker - casually at March 30, 2017 10:14 PM (hGZJP)

60 "Up the frequency of profanity. If that doesn't work, start commenting on people's weight.

"Wow. You've gained a few pounds lately huh?" will surely send some people into a rage.
"
-Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:11 PM (89UPP)

Sound advice.

You hear that, you corpulent bottle-feeders?

Roll over here so I can smack that ass back to reality.


(Was That Good?)

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:14 PM (6gk0M)

61 My art belongs to the masses

Posted by: V.I. Lenin at March 30, 2017 10:14 PM (dZGNV)

62 Pretty woman
Rich billionaire rents cheap whore, he decides to buy her.

Posted by: CaliGirl at March 30, 2017 10:15 PM (u8Ywb)

63 Oh, lort.. I now have THREE stupid songs stuck in my head. It's bad enough to just have one, but 3!?!?! Seriously?!?! WTF

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity wench) at March 30, 2017 10:15 PM (yTnCT)

64 Visited Custer Battlefield lots of times over the years. One of my granddads played taps at military funerals at the national cemetery next to the visitors center.

On a couple of visits at Reno's encirclement one bitter cold February day and a sweltering June afternoon walking in the deep coulee. On those two times I swear I was transported to the battle and watch things unfold. I could smell the dust, fear, and sweat and the screams of horses and men. Very strange and unsettling so much so I still dream about decades later.

The only other time this happened was walking through the hornets nest at Shiloh by myself. I got the feeling that I was intruding. I could see men moving around me and locked across the field to where a confederate charge was forming. I got the hell out of there in a hurry.

Swear it's true and I was stone cold sober too.

Posted by: Beartooth at March 30, 2017 10:15 PM (lRNBd)

65 Thanks to everyone for prayers.


As I said in the previous thread, these days I don't know what to do...I don't know whether to pray for his health or for a release from his suffering here. I just pray for God to take care of him.


I have selfish reasons for praying one way. I hate that I think that way.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:16 PM (+eR2D)

66 Email sent Flyboy

Posted by: Weirddave at March 30, 2017 10:16 PM (QGamW)

67 The weird thing is, I really am a robot.

Posted by: Discarded Waterheater at March 30, 2017 10:16 PM (FAO5C)

68 "Any sales person who can not listen to a customer is of no interest to me, as a customer or as an employer of sales people."
-Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 10:13 PM (4fWyx)

^This. Exactly This.^

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:16 PM (6gk0M)

69 A wounded veteran commits treason by plotting with grotesque blue mutants to sabotage his countrymen's plans to provide cheap, safe energy to the entire population of Earth.

Posted by: James Cameron at March 30, 2017 10:16 PM (vRcUp)

70 Titanic: Spoiled rich girl has sex with a hobo in a dirty cargo hold of a doomed boat. That hobo filth-sex turns out to be the high point of her life.

Posted by: me at March 30, 2017 10:16 PM (LvAzp)

71 Anyone familiar with Kansas City knows the Plaza. They also know it's probably the worst place in the city to have to drive thru. I had to go down there to make a delivery and I swear I wanted to kill about 6 people by the time I was done. What a day...

Posted by: DeplorableJewells45 at March 30, 2017 10:16 PM (CNHr1)

72 Oh and it's my father-in-law. I may have typed brother in error. My bad.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:16 PM (+eR2D)

73 Kodos

I'm an Irish singer. When we do sad songs, we sing the teals.

Posted by: Junie159 at March 30, 2017 10:16 PM (Q+Oiy)

74 Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 10:09 PM (vUcdz)

Still praying for Joyce and family.

Posted by: CaliGirl at March 30, 2017 10:17 PM (u8Ywb)

75 Love Story: A future Vice President and a girl, from different backgrounds, fall in love regardless of their upbringing -- and then climate change strikes.

Posted by: ShainS at March 30, 2017 10:17 PM (ZcAbN)

76 New York cop has a wild time at his wife's office Christmas party in California. John feels even more like a fish out of water when some uninvited guests show up, and hi jinx ensue in this classic Christmas tale.

Posted by: Die Hard at March 30, 2017 10:17 PM (Co0D0)

77 seems buying a whore is a bad move, skews the whole relationship.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 10:17 PM (cPsPa)

78 You hear that, you corpulent bottle-feeders?

Roll over here so I can smack that ass back to reality.


(Was That Good?)
Posted by: Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:14 PM (6gk0M)



A good start. But take the prose down a notch.

More like, "listen ya fat cunt, waddle it on over here so I can fuck start your brain in the attempt to get something productive out of you."

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:17 PM (89UPP)

79 Les Miserable, Act 1 - Bad things happen to many French people.
Act 2 - Most of them die

Posted by: 2009Refugee at March 30, 2017 10:18 PM (JyFLk)

80 seems buying a whore is a bad move, skews the whole relationship.
===

Rent. Always rent.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at March 30, 2017 10:19 PM (KgpWR)

81 omg... I thought I knew you people... smh

Posted by: DeplorableJewells45 at March 30, 2017 10:19 PM (CNHr1)

82 (Was That Good?)

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:14 PM (6gk0M)

Oh baby
Is it time to do another load?
(of course I'm talking about laundry, you pervs)

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:19 PM (tHwdc)

83 I've been to Little Big Horn and Gettysburg. Gettysburg wins on Best Battlefield NP. IMO

Montana is beautiful!

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 30, 2017 10:20 PM (xv/uN)

84 Flyboy,
My sister sold insurance and did very well. Sadly, insurance sales is a career where you either do great or greatly fail.
You would think that someone at his agency would have explained to him that pissing off his clients doesn't sell policies.
Then again, the competition is so cutthroat, they may be laughing at him, then swooping in to take his potentials.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 30, 2017 10:20 PM (+lVUW)

85 Evening all - prayers to you DG for dear FIL.

ibguy - Great news on Baby sister!

Posted by: Tonypete at March 30, 2017 10:20 PM (tr2D7)

86 Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:16 P

Hang in there Lil Sis

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 30, 2017 10:20 PM (voOPb)

87 75 Love Story: A future Vice President and a girl, from different backgrounds, fall in love regardless of their upbringing -- and then climate change strikes.
Posted by: ShainS at March 30, 2017 10:17 PM (ZcAbN)

Golf clap.

Posted by: CaliGirl at March 30, 2017 10:20 PM (u8Ywb)

88 Oh, lort.. I now have THREE stupid songs stuck in my head. It's bad enough to just have one, but 3!?!?! Seriously?!?! WTF

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity wench) at March 30, 2017 10:15 PM (yTnCT)


I got Pink Floyd comfortably numb seriously stuck in my head. Why? Because I spent a few hours learning the whole damn song note for note for a friend who will never play the damn thing. Not the studio version, noooo he has to have some live version from some pulse tour. Will admit, great version, but still, he'll never play it. Why I get talked into this shit.....

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at March 30, 2017 10:20 PM (aMlLZ)

89 I enjoy cooking my family, and my dog.

Posted by: Rachel Ray at March 30, 2017 10:21 PM (vRcUp)

90 Billionaire fruit investor is a retard.

Posted by: Forrest Gump at March 30, 2017 10:21 PM (9Q5BJ)

91 Titanic....
Boat versus iceberg, iceberg wins, boat sinks, most people die. Roll credits.

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity wench) at March 30, 2017 10:21 PM (yTnCT)

92
Naahhh....just showed him the door as a fcuking drone, read a Powerpoint sales guy is of no interest to me, especially after I had been very fcuking specific in my requirements.


"'Flyboy'? Fuck you. Fucking God handed this guy a million dollars, told him 'Sign the deal!', he wouldn't sign. And Jesus Christ too, into the bargain. Fuck you, John! You know your business, I know mine. Your business is being an asshole. I find out whose fucking cousin you are, I'm going to go to him and figure out a way to have your ass - fuck you!"

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at March 30, 2017 10:21 PM (K2ygU)

93 so, adherents of the oxford ring again. kim philby redux. when will you diacritical marksists relent? must we suffer again beneath the commanist tyranny, led by your commanist manifesto.

i'll puntificate no more, but bid you adieu.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (WTSFk)

94 Armageddon

Oil company exec and workers extort all of Earth in order to drill in outer space.

Posted by: Hopped Up On Something at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (k7fBu)

95 John Wick; Guy loses wife and dog. Kills everyone involved.


Actually........that doesn't change anything.......

Posted by: thathalfrican - straight killin' it at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (nDcc3)

96 Ginger Thursday ONT Compliance Pics

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/847483783339167745

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/847483866122145794

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/847483960389058560

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/847484047076974602

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/847484133500530688

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (AOrEZ)

97 "I have selfish reasons for praying one way. I hate that I think that way."
-Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:16 PM (+eR2D)

Don't "hate it", ask for light and love for others. I only Thank Him, so I never have to "Task Him".

I merely ask for those I am praying for to find His love and know the Joy we show through Him.

I never ask for specifics. I merely ask that they find their way through God's Love.

Might He guide them in grief and hold them in His Light.

I would never say, "God... you're probably gonna want to look out for this guy. He's kind-of a dick, but his Dad is cool. When his Dad dies, shine on that guy because he kind of needs it."

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (6gk0M)

98 Post one or two sentence summations of a movie that are accurate, but completely misleading

Spartacus

Noble social justice warriors escape from evil capitalist workplace, humiliate stupid aristocratic military leaders in initial encounters, end in glorious martyrdom.

Posted by: Basement Cat at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (3C9q2)

99 >> 83 I've been to Little Big Horn and Gettysburg. Gettysburg wins on Best Battlefield NP. IMO

Vicksburg is worth a trip, too, if you ever get the chance. Mississippi gets hot and humid in the summer, so take that into consideration.

Posted by: Michael the Texan (formerly TEXIT) at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (nvMvs)

100 The Karate Kid: Janitor intervenes in conflict between local boys, assaults several minors, and spends a great deal of "alone time" with one of the more vulnerable teens.

Posted by: me at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (LvAzp)

101
Greetings, Erflings.

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (dPSy3)

102 Breathtaking prayer warrior Miley.

what's not to love? what better purpose?

Posted by: booknlass at March 30, 2017 10:23 PM (8mO0Q)

103 John Wick; Guy loses wife and dog. Kills everyone involved.


Actually........that doesn't change anything.......


Posted by: thathalfrican - straight killin' it at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (nDcc3)


No, it really don't. lol

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at March 30, 2017 10:23 PM (aMlLZ)

104 [eats, shoots and leaves.]

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at March 30, 2017 10:23 PM (WTSFk)

105 Saving Private Ryan:

A ranger unit gets killed searching for a entitled boy who places his needs over the ranger's lives.

Posted by: Beartooth at March 30, 2017 10:23 PM (lRNBd)

106 More Ginger Thursday ONT Compliance Pics

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/847484230305062916

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/847484325901680640

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/847484432764116993

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/847484535679864832

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/847484631481851905

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 10:23 PM (AOrEZ)

107 Swear it's true and I was stone cold sober too.

Posted by: Beartooth at March 30, 2017 10:15 PM (lRNBd)

I've heard some disturbing stories about the Gettysburg battlefield. I've only been there in broad sunny daylight, never felt anything.

Dusk and nighttime tours are where the spookiness happens, says a friend who lives nearby.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:23 PM (tHwdc)

108 My favorite Oxford comma example of all time:

By train, plane and sedan chair, Peter Ustinov retraces a journey made by Mark Twain a century ago. The highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector.

Posted by: Splunge at March 30, 2017 10:24 PM (iMxBJ)

109 You mouth breathers piss anyone off today?"


Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:03 PM (89UPP)

Oh...you can't say that. Somebody might be offended.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 30, 2017 10:24 PM (rF0hx)

110 Incompetent technician destroys a computer, sees distant suns and takes the name of the Lord in vain.

Posted by: Stanley Kubrick at March 30, 2017 10:25 PM (vRcUp)

111 "A good start. But take the prose down a notch.

More like, "listen ya fat cunt, waddle it on over here so I can fuck start your brain in the attempt to get something productive out of you."
"
-Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:17 PM (89UPP)

Better. *takes notes*

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:25 PM (6gk0M)

112 Wizard of Oz: Girl kills woman by dropping her house on her, steals her shoes, then kills her sister.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at March 30, 2017 10:25 PM (K2ygU)

113 John Wick; Guy loses wife and dog. Kills everyone involved.


Actually........that doesn't change anything.......


Posted by: thathalfrican - straight killin' it
====

And that's why it won the award for Best Movie in the History of Movies.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at March 30, 2017 10:25 PM (KgpWR)

114 I try to, but people just get used to me.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:08 PM (6gk0M)

Up the frequency of profanity. If that doesn't work, start commenting on people's weight.

"Wow. You've gained a few pounds lately huh?" will surely send some people into a rage.
Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk


Or you could try the always popular, "Are you pregnant?"

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 30, 2017 10:25 PM (+lVUW)

115 Teddy bears save the galaxy. Have party when they're done. One goes on to create a very popular smart military blog.

Posted by: Return of the Jedi at March 30, 2017 10:25 PM (Co0D0)

116 Oh...you can't say that. Somebody might be offended.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 30, 2017 10:24 PM (rF0hx)



Fuck em. People should learn that it's a joke, not a dick. They shouldn't take it so hard.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 30, 2017 10:25 PM (89UPP)

117 Why my wife hates me:

Her: "I have a massage and a facial scheduled for tomorrow"
Me: "Well, if it will help you save time, I can give you a facial right now"
Her: "That wasn't funny 15 years ago, and it's still not"
Me: "I'm so sorry. Let me make it up to you. How about if I give you a pearl necklace?"

I dunno why she gets so mad, I'm just trying to be helpful.

Posted by: Weirddave at March 30, 2017 10:25 PM (QGamW)

118 Yes! Less rape.

Posted by: Guy with a blurry face at March 30, 2017 10:26 PM (IqV8l)

119 Today's Neutral Evenhanded Fair-Minded 100% Unbiased Headlines:

Professor 'tried not to vomit' when passenger gave up seat for soldier

Report: The FBI is using the explosive Trump-Russia dossier as a 'roadmap' for its investigation

Chris Hayes: Trump 'Knew Literally - And I Mean Literally - Nothing About' His Health-Care Bill

Bill O'Reilly's Racist Comment Is Rooted in America's Racist Past

Immigrants Are Going Hungry Because They're Worried About Being Deported


End Of The World Headlines Brought To You By Chicken Little:

North Korea reportedly has a fleet of 1,000 drones it can use for chemical attacks

Lithuania Gears Up for War With Russia

The Media Should Become a True Opposition Party

Time for some fame theory: Meet the eccentric liberal analyst whose unhinged tweetstorms have made him Twitter-famous

Fear of plane crash could increase your rent


Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 30, 2017 10:26 PM (TixTl)

120 (commanists ... tee hee)

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at March 30, 2017 10:26 PM (WTSFk)

121 Hey! Grammar can be like math! thats a rotten trick.

Posted by: Some moron at March 30, 2017 10:26 PM (3hIZX)

122 Hang in there Lil Sis

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 30, 2017 10:20 PM (voOPb)


Hangin' Big Bro. The man has outlived expectations for 10 years, so we've been on tenterhooks for a while.

Slap, I hear ya. I try to pray for what is best for him. What is best for me is irrelevant. So, I try not to be a selfish asshole. Basically, I get to go back home to my family when he is no longer here. I want to go home. God has a plan. What is meant to be is meant to be.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:26 PM (+eR2D)

123 Well that will teach me to read the content first!

Off to put up the dogs. Night, all.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at March 30, 2017 10:26 PM (K2ygU)

124
Today was a big day for spam phone calls. I got 5 calls from the same Georgia number from "Security Check." No messages left.

And one message left from a scam artist warning me they'd be at my address tomorrow between 9 and 12 with legal documents.

They even said the address just to show me how serious they were -- except it wasn't my address.

So I googled the number and there are reports from others in the last couple of days about the exact same call.

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 30, 2017 10:27 PM (dPSy3)

125 Citizen Kane

Poor child gets sent to a private school, grows up, gets filthy rich and powerful, and then in his age, dies of natural causes.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:27 PM (CPk08)

126 -Posted by: Weirddave at March 30, 2017 10:25 PM (QGamW)

LMFAO!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:27 PM (6gk0M)

127 Anyway, rambling.


I hope everyone is well!

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:27 PM (+eR2D)

128 Complete false advertisement. Movie only lasts 93 minutes.

Posted by: The Neverending Story at March 30, 2017 10:27 PM (Co0D0)

129
Star Wars

Brother and Sister find themselves in a mutual attraction and embark on a journey that involves love, lust and backdoor hole penetration.

Posted by: otho at March 30, 2017 10:28 PM (lmIoG)

130 Where is the link to that map of GDP? I'd love to send that to my kids. Well done, mate.

Posted by: Blutarski-esque 0.0 at March 30, 2017 10:28 PM (xJxz7)

131 You got it, Dangergirl!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:28 PM (6gk0M)

132 Alien:
A spaceship crew find themselves unprepared to care for the pet they adopt, and even lash out at it in frustration.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 30, 2017 10:28 PM (8nWyX)

133 Some people work, travel, and repair computers while listening to music, and then after a wild night, a baby is born.

Posted by: 2001: A Space Odyssey at March 30, 2017 10:28 PM (Rjwfi)

134 The Sound of Music

Nun breaks her vows, seduces rich widower and flees the country.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:29 PM (CPk08)

135 just got back from a very nice Los Lobos show with a 2nd set eniding NFA>Bertha. Bertha had a really nice accordion bridge

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 10:29 PM (7dpmG)

136 I really love maps, too. I paid $350 to frame a map of France I bought at a yard sale, because I think the owner was in WW2 and he carried it with him.

The coolest battlefield I've been to was in Battle, near Hastings. We drove there from London in a rented car and arrived just before sunset. slipped into the Abbey, and I swear the drifting shadows put me to mind of the warring men from 1066.

Posted by: booknlass at March 30, 2017 10:29 PM (8mO0Q)

137 Breathtaking prayer warrior Miley.



what's not to love? what better purpose?

Posted by: booknlass at March 30, 2017 10:23 PM (8mO0Q)

I'm so messed up nowadays, booknlass, that it seems like the only way to NOT go wrong is to pray pray pray.
A friend sent me Romans 8:28, Phillipians 4:13 and John 3:16. Been contemplating these and God's mercy all afternoon.
I thank the IRS for starting this today, because they always drive me back to God.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:30 PM (tHwdc)

138 99:Vicksburg is worth a trip, too, if you ever get the chance. Mississippi gets hot and humid in the summer, so take that into consideration.


I remember.

I spent a couple of summers in Biloxi (1988 and 1990).

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 30, 2017 10:30 PM (xv/uN)

139 Hope everyone is having a lovely ONT.

Earlier today, my current boss asked me to call my former boss as a favor. Two years ago, I quit over something that could have been resolved, but they chose not to. I miss the $$ and really liked parts of the job. The conversation was really nice (this was the boss I really liked, the other one was an ass) and now I'm filled with... ugh. "Feelings."'

To make matters worse, this Saturday is free mass shred day, and I ended up going through my parents tax returns, which made me more depressed.

Sigh.

Posted by: shibumi at March 30, 2017 10:31 PM (FkAXz)

140 Evenin', fappers.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:31 PM (0mRoj)

141 Star Trek (2009)

A man with daddy issues meets an alien with mommy issues to fight an alien with wife issues.

Posted by: HuuskerDu at March 30, 2017 10:31 PM (gYAkw)

142 I keep seeing the kitties in the underwear on a clothesline.

Twenty years ago, I used to do acid, but I'm just seeing kitties in the underwear on a clothesline.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:31 PM (6gk0M)

143 This week, I got recognition from the CEO. It was pretty awesome. He came in the lab and thanked each of us personally for our hard work preparing and demo'ing new products for the sales meeting a month ago. Then gave us thank you notes and gift cards.


It's nice being recognized on occasion, considering I work for such a huge mess of a company.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:31 PM (+eR2D)

144 Superman, Transformers

Aliens come to earth, fight each other, trash whole cities, and people object.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:32 PM (CPk08)

145 I've been to Little Big Horn and Gettysburg. Gettysburg wins on Best Battlefield NP. IMO

Oh, Gettysburg is great, no doubt, but it's so big and you have 3 days worth of stuff going on. You could spend months there and not absorb it all. LBH is easy to grasp in one bite.

Posted by: Weirddave at March 30, 2017 10:32 PM (QGamW)

146 The Good Son; Boy has anxiety issues sharing his family after losing his baby brother. Cousin moves in and horns in on his cousin's family leading to a showdown and a mother showing her true colors of never loving her son.

Posted by: thathalfrican - straight killin' it at March 30, 2017 10:32 PM (nDcc3)

147 70 Titanic: Spoiled rich girl has sex with a hobo in a dirty cargo hold of a doomed boat. That hobo filth-sex turns out to be the high point of her life.
Posted by: me


LOL. You left off how the dumb woman threw a perfectly good diamond necklace in the ocean. I hated that movie.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 30, 2017 10:32 PM (+lVUW)

148 113 John Wick; Guy loses wife and dog. Kills everyone involved.


Actually........that doesn't change anything.......


Posted by: thathalfrican - straight killin' it
====

And that's why it won the award for Best Movie in the History of Movies.
Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her!



Heh! I don't know about 'Best' but it is the most satisfying movie I've seen in years.

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 30, 2017 10:33 PM (xv/uN)

149 Because a military man believes women desire his vital essence, his actions enable a wheelchair bound scientist to walk again.

Dr. Strangelove

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 30, 2017 10:33 PM (8iiMU)

150 The fellas actually do a lot of bad things. Especially the little one, who seems to have some anger control issues.

Posted by: Goodfellas at March 30, 2017 10:33 PM (Co0D0)

151 Titanic; Teenaged girl fakes her own death in the sinking, pockets a priceless diamond, and lives to old age under a false identity

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 10:33 PM (AOrEZ)

152 15 DangerGirl

Prayers up for FIL to find a path to peace.

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 10:33 PM (vUcdz)

153 Sleepers: four cruise for tube steak and end up getting weinered.

Posted by: Quilters Irish Death at March 30, 2017 10:34 PM (ARrr3)

154 "Let's eat, Grandma!"

vs.

"Let's eat Grandma!"

Punctuation. Saves. Lives.

/ht Ann Barnhardt

Posted by: rickl at March 30, 2017 10:35 PM (sdi6R)

155 Early night all.

Here is "The Eternal Well" by The Well:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm6UTVGsI1I

Posted by: The Political Hat at March 30, 2017 10:35 PM (vBeA5)

156 I
guess I just want some peace for him in some way. Whether that means

healing or a release from this life, only God knows that.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:00 PM (+eR2D)

Well put.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 30, 2017 10:35 PM (rF0hx)

157 Prayers up for FIL to find a path to peace.

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 10:33 PM (vUcdz)


Thank you, my dear.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:35 PM (+eR2D)

158
Fear of plane crash could increase your rent

The plane is too damn low!

Posted by: Rent is too damn high guy at March 30, 2017 10:35 PM (IqV8l)

159
Heh! I don't know about 'Best' but it is the most satisfying movie I've seen in years.
====

Even the cars were stars.

Brian Dennehy was incredible as the Long Island Sound.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at March 30, 2017 10:36 PM (KgpWR)

160 Ghostbusters: Four loser guys use science, only to be beaten-down by the Government. When the chips are down, the Government relents FTW.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:36 PM (6gk0M)

161 Cosmic Charlie

Los Lobos is my all time favorite and Bertha is one of my favorites! I envy you! Where did you see them? They rarely come to my neck of the woods

Posted by: Blutarski-esque 0.0 at March 30, 2017 10:36 PM (xJxz7)

162 Oh, movie synopses? I have a good one.


Brimstone: WTF DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:36 PM (+eR2D)

163 Miley, my study for the last few months has been in James. He says, (in essence) Count it all joy when you have troubles, and I'm just starting late in my 29th year to begin to get it.

It's only when I'm scared to death that I'm willing to draw nearer to the power.

Posted by: booknlass at March 30, 2017 10:36 PM (8mO0Q)

164 When bankruptcy creeping closer, a farmers mass hallucination saves the farm


Field of Dreams

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity wench) at March 30, 2017 10:36 PM (yTnCT)

165 Please continue praying for Joyce to find a path to healing.
Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 10:09

Will do.
T

Posted by: Farmer at March 30, 2017 10:36 PM (o/90i)

166 47 48

Thank you, Slap and Miley!

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 10:36 PM (vUcdz)

167 While on tour in America, drummers from a British rock band mysteriously combust. Suspicion surrounds one of the band member's girlfriends.

This is Spinal Tap


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (8iiMU)

168 DangerGirl, my best wishes and prayers are for you.

Posted by: Vendette at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (Vz5wF)

169 Thelma and Louise


2 leftist bitches drive a car to a fiery death


and I feel fine....

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (aMlLZ)

170 The Alamo

Illegal aliens kill a bunch of Texans.

The end.

Posted by: ALH at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (Z56vq)

171 Revenant

Guy wanders into the wrong neighborhood with his friends and kid, and gets caught in a gang war. While trying to get away, he has an accident, and nearly dies.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (CPk08)

172 Sent you one back, WD.

Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (4fWyx)

173 After gaining their freedom and partying in the desert, one bossy Jew tries to spoil all the others' fun with a lame set of rules.

Posted by: The Ten Commandments at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (Co0D0)

174 The Sound of Music



Nun breaks her vows, seduces rich widower and flees the country.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:29 PM (CPk0

She was a novice and never took vows.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (tHwdc)

175 56 Thanks, DG!

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (vUcdz)

176 161, City Winery in Atlanta.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (7dpmG)

177 That sign? Taggart would approve.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (0mRoj)

178 The Matrix

Group of misfits search the World for computer repair tech to save the Human race but only find head programmer who tells them he deliberately wrote defective code.

Posted by: Hopped Up On Something at March 30, 2017 10:38 PM (k7fBu)

179 The Quiet Man: Violent American terrorizes idyllic Irish villiage

Posted by: Blutarski-esque 0.0 at March 30, 2017 10:39 PM (xJxz7)

180 Casablanca-A socialist mercenary in WWII North Africa reunites with his adulterous ex-girlfriend, and then helps her and her Communist husband escape to America. Heartbroken, he begins a romance with a Nazi policeman.

Posted by: Browncoat formerly known as Mike at March 30, 2017 10:39 PM (o38N1)

181 85 Thanks, tonypete

And you should already be seeing some MoMe emails - pimped your request to the SWOHMOME distort list today.

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 10:39 PM (vUcdz)

182 Prayers Danger Girl.

Posted by: ALH at March 30, 2017 10:39 PM (Z56vq)

183 Atlanta morons. Tomorrow?

Forget it.

Pouring ass rainy and stormy.

I-85 shut down for the "forseeable future".

Friday.

Game over, man. Game over.


Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at March 30, 2017 10:40 PM (KgpWR)

184 A bunch of guys see dollar-signs and take strength injections to bulk up their paychecks.

-1990's Baseball

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:40 PM (6gk0M)

185 I love looking at maps of all kinds. Mrs. JTB and I even enjoy the road maps published by AAA. But walking the fields at Gettysburg, especially the Devil's Den and standing at The Angle, was beyond anything a map could convey. Haunting and revealing.

Posted by: JTB at March 30, 2017 10:40 PM (V+03K)

186

This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.....

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 30, 2017 10:40 PM (aKqWT)

187 howdy all...how is everyone this evening?

Posted by: Tickled Pink at March 30, 2017 10:41 PM (smD62)

188 147 70 Titanic: Spoiled rich girl has sex with a hobo in a dirty cargo hold of a doomed boat. That hobo filth-sex turns out to be the high point of her life.
Posted by: me

LOL. You left off how the dumb woman threw a perfectly good diamond necklace in the ocean. I hated that movie.
Posted by: nerdygirl



And it won Oscars. It was (is) a steaming piece of poorly written, poorly acted, pile of excrement! Even Kate Winslet's amazing rack couldn't save that vile fucking movie.

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 30, 2017 10:41 PM (xv/uN)

189 ibguy - thanks! You are the Man! Uh - Moron! Uhhhh - hordeling. Or something. . . .

(Mutters to self)

Posted by: Tonypete at March 30, 2017 10:41 PM (tr2D7)

190 TGIF.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:41 PM (+eR2D)

191 Tombstone; Law enforcement gets more than they bargained for when trying to enact gun control in a small town

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 10:41 PM (AOrEZ)

192 Okay, it wasn't a movie.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:41 PM (6gk0M)

193 And it won Oscars. It was (is) a steaming piece of poorly written, poorly acted, pile of excrement! Even Kate Winslet's amazing rack couldn't save that vile fucking movie.



Posted by: Puddleglum at March 30, 2017 10:41 PM (xv/uN)


The best part was watching Dicraprio die a frozen death.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at March 30, 2017 10:42 PM (aMlLZ)

194 They're ruling out a stroke and will be keeping him at least overnight. I still don't know if anything is broken.


FFS.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:42 PM (+eR2D)

195 Rear Window

Jimmy Stewart turns down Grace Kelly's implied offer to do him because he'd rather be a voyeur with binoculars.

Posted by: HuuskerDu at March 30, 2017 10:42 PM (gYAkw)

196 Tonight's full SpaceX webcast, in case you haven't seen it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsZSXav4wI8

And if you haven't seen it, you really should watch it.

Reflying an orbital first stage has never been done before in the 60 year history of the Space Age. SpaceX made history tonight.

And they landed it again, too.

Posted by: rickl at March 30, 2017 10:42 PM (sdi6R)

197 Battlefield Earth - Travolta squanders revitalized fame on L Ron Hubbard. Kills Barry Pepper's career.

Posted by: Quilters Irish Death at March 30, 2017 10:42 PM (ARrr3)

198 Hi, Tickled!

Posted by: booknlass at March 30, 2017 10:42 PM (8mO0Q)

199 Corpse used as prop helps associates avoid problems with the law.

Posted by: Weekend at Bernie's at March 30, 2017 10:43 PM (8zL5i)

200 say, where do you get your hands on a certified falcon9? what sort of warranty do they come with?

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 10:43 PM (cPsPa)

201 I'LL NEVER LET GO, JACK.

I'LL NEVER LET GO!

DON'T BE ALARMED THAT I TOOK THIS FLOATING DOOR ALL FOR MYSELF EVEN THOUGH YOU COULD HAVE FIT ON IT.


I'LL NEVER LET GO!!!!!!

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:43 PM (+eR2D)

202 It's only when I'm scared to death that I'm willing to draw nearer to the power.

Posted by: booknlass at March 30, 2017 10:36 PM (8mO0Q)

I wish that were true of me, I've been terrified for 3 years, of being alone, failing, and never conquering these fears. Finally trying to get some purchase in the field of faith.
Really. Can't.Do.It.Without.God.
But I've stayed alive for 3 years and I congratulate myself bigly for that.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:43 PM (tHwdc)

203 Star Wars:

Bossy princess manipulates a young farmhand and a smuggler into destroying political rival's $400 trillion space station, killing thousands in the process.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:43 PM (0mRoj)

204 iSoothsayer iPro,
800notes.com is a good place to look up phone numbers that you think are spam. I've reached a point where I don't answer the phone unless I know who it is from.
I've told people to call me on my cell phone because if I don't answer, they can leave a voicemail.
If you answer a spam call the spam calls will quadruple.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 30, 2017 10:43 PM (+lVUW)

205 Little girls love robots. So cute. They're so adorable at that age.

Posted by: Tuna at March 30, 2017 10:44 PM (jm1YL)

206

I just noticed, my has has changed. ISP must've changed the ISP. Oh, I know. Stupid cable internet stopped working a couple of weeks ago. The coax had waterlogged.

The lineman wanted to replace the entire drop, and change it to the higher spec RG-whatever from the existing cable, but Charter was too damned cheap and just made him try redoing the connector where it connected to the main line. That got the signal up enough to work and so they wouldn't let him replace the whole thing.

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 30, 2017 10:44 PM (aKqWT)

207 Lord of The Rings (I-III)

A guy's jewellery is stolen. It gets passed from hand to hand, but ends up with a guy who wants nothing to do with it and throws it away.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:44 PM (CPk08)

208 201 I'LL NEVER LET GO, JACK.

I'LL NEVER LET GO!

DON'T BE ALARMED THAT I TOOK THIS FLOATING DOOR ALL FOR MYSELF EVEN THOUGH YOU COULD HAVE FIT ON IT.


I'LL NEVER LET GO!!!!!!
Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:43 PM (+eR2D)

Easily one of the most retarded movie scenes ever.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:44 PM (0mRoj)

209 I like rewinding the part where Leo slips below the waves like a frosty meatsicle. Over and over.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at March 30, 2017 10:44 PM (KgpWR)

210 The original Oxford comma case: "God deliver from such antiquaries as these, to hang a man's life upon a comma and throttle him with a semi-colon." Sir Roger David Casement, CMG, Speech from the Dock, 1916 CMG - Distinguished Order of Saint Michael and Saint George

http://firstworldwar.com/bio/casement.htm

Eirinn go Brach - left out the accent marks because could not post with them.

Posted by: Locke Common at March 30, 2017 10:45 PM (OVofP)

211 what comma thing? WD
those cats are not post-turtles, but betcha they all jumped.
gah, love cats of which I have had many.
Sammy is the only one I don't know the end time.
Think it was of the Russian Blue type. Smart one,
Someone here, tells of fetching -- I forget who, sorry, but yep
Sammy did that while attempting to entertain me.


Posted by: micky at March 30, 2017 10:45 PM (dF9Lb)

212 Homophobes from Atlanta travel into the wilderness and kill indigenous gays.

Posted by: Deliverance at March 30, 2017 10:46 PM (vRcUp)

213 One of the dairy companies in Maine, Oakhurst or Hood - I can't recall, used to fly a blimp emblazoned with company's logo around Portland...

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at March 30, 2017 10:46 PM (kP16F)

214 Juvenile delinquent fakes illness, steals money and car, and takes girlfriend and friend on maniacal trip filled with lies and deception.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at March 30, 2017 10:46 PM (RrhD2)

215 Braveheart; Anti government extremist forms armed militias against authority and dies a horrible death

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 10:46 PM (AOrEZ)

216 Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 30, 2017 10:27 PM (dPSy3)

nomorobo.com

I installed it on both of my landlines, and it works almost perfectly.

And it's free, which is good, because I am cheap.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 30, 2017 10:46 PM (rF0hx)

217 I would never say, "God... you're probably gonna want to look out for this guy. He's kind-of a dick, but his Dad is cool. When his Dad dies, shine on that guy because he kind of needs it."
Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:22 PM (6gk0M)

OK, seriously, that sounds like a lot of my prayers. I guess I'm doing it wrong?

Posted by: April at March 30, 2017 10:47 PM (e8PP1)

218 Corpse used as prop helps associates avoid problems with the law.

Also true for the remake: Hillary! 2016, the Movie

Posted by: t-bird at March 30, 2017 10:47 PM (ZIFyZ)

219 I wish that were true of me, I've been terrified for 3 years, of being alone, failing, and never conquering these fears. Finally trying to get some purchase in the field of faith.
Really. Can't.Do.It.Without.God.
But I've stayed alive for 3 years and I congratulate myself bigly for that.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:43 PM (tHwdc)

=======

Agreed. God chose to bless me with a new wife in the form of an Actress/Model who I had dated in HS and kept in touch with over the years. I'm 54. The prior 6 lonely years were a lead up to the delight that is my life with her now.

Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 10:48 PM (4fWyx)

220
800notes.com is a good place to look up phone numbers that you think are spam.

I was just there!
I shared my experience.

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 30, 2017 10:48 PM (dPSy3)

221 OH WAIT JACK. I LET GO!
DON'T LET THAT BOTHER YOU!

WORDS SPEAK LOUDER THAN ACTIONS!


YOU COULD HAVE FIT ON THIS DOOR! I COULD HAVE PULLED YOU TO SAFETY AND WARMED YOU WITH MY BODY! BUT IT WOULDN'T HAVE MADE AS DRAMATIC OF A MOVIE.


SO DIE JACK, DIE! FREEZE IN THE WATER OF THE NORTH ATLANTIC! AND I'LL THROW AWAY A PRICELESS JEWEL IN YOUR NAME!


Ugh.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:48 PM (+eR2D)

222 174 The Sound of Music

Nun breaks her vows, seduces rich widower and flees the country.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:29 PM (CPk0

She was a novice and never took vows.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM
(tHwdc)

Fair enough. Naive girl is thrown out of convent and seduced by older widower who then flees the country.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:48 PM (CPk08)

223 D List actors use swords and chainsaws to prepare sushi falling like manna from heaven.

Posted by: Sharknado at March 30, 2017 10:48 PM (JO9+V)

224 Naahhh....just showed him the door as a fcuking drone, read a Powerpoint sales guy is of no interest to me, especially after I had been very fcuking specific in my requirements.

Any sales person who can not listen to a customer is of no interest to me, as a customer or as an employer of sales people.
Posted by: Flyboy

You know his boss insists on upselling everything

Posted by: Jean at March 30, 2017 10:48 PM (zZb/S)

225 shane:

man eats, shoots and leaves.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at March 30, 2017 10:48 PM (WTSFk)

226 A young woman with a mutation/birth defect in her throat tries to relieve her tension.


Posted by: Deep Throat at March 30, 2017 10:49 PM (8iiMU)

227 OK, seriously, that sounds like a lot of my prayers. I guess I'm doing it wrong?

Posted by: April at March 30, 2017 10:47 PM (e8PP1)

Have you prayed to be delivered from your giraffelet?

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:49 PM (tHwdc)

228 Cool evolution Tshirt.

http://preview.tinyurl.com/kojyqba

Posted by: OXY Moron at March 30, 2017 10:49 PM (hYjJg)

229 I'm tired of being a person. Can I be a dinosaur now?

Posted by: Ganges River at March 30, 2017 10:49 PM (vRcUp)

230 214 Juvenile delinquent fakes illness, steals money and car, and takes girlfriend and friend on maniacal trip filled with lies and deception.


Ferris Bueller is age dependent. As a teen, I loved it. As an adult, I want to beat Ferris Bueller with a cro-bar.

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 30, 2017 10:49 PM (xv/uN)

231 Godfather II; Ivy League educated man greatly expands the business he inherited from his father but at the cost of estrangement from his wife and his brother

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 10:49 PM (AOrEZ)

232 I'm out.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at March 30, 2017 10:49 PM (KgpWR)

233 Slave-owning candy manufacturer lures five children into his plant, subjects them to grisly torment; who will emerge unscathed?

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:49 PM (0mRoj)

234 Crusty old salt and goofy marine biologist heckle town Sheriff over lack of adventure scars.

Posted by: Jaws at March 30, 2017 10:49 PM (JO9+V)

235
And it's free, which is good, because I am cheap.

I don't have anymore landlines.
So I use the Blocking service from my wireless provider. It works good and blocks most known scammers. But new ones pop up all the time.

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 30, 2017 10:50 PM (dPSy3)

236 Anyway, 'rons...I need sleep. thank you again for your prayers. Will update tomorrow as I find out information.

3> you all are the best. We are blessed.

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at March 30, 2017 10:50 PM (+eR2D)

237 Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 30, 2017 10:44 PM (aKqWT)

That's a $50 fix, and I'll bet you pay a lot more than that each month.

Fuck 'em.

Pour salt water on every exposed exterior junction.

And then make pin holes in the cable just before it enters the house, and pour some more salt water on the holes.


Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 30, 2017 10:50 PM (rF0hx)

238 "OK, seriously, that sounds like a lot of my prayers. I guess I'm doing it wrong?"
-Posted by: April at March 30, 2017 10:47 PM (e8PP1)

Ask for others to find His love. God isn't big on specifics. He'd rather you find Him and know Love.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:51 PM (6gk0M)

239 Teen harasses hard working karate student, destroying his relationship with his girlfriend and property. Falling under The tutelage of an older martial artist, the two assault multiple youths and ultimately disrupt a karate tournament.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at March 30, 2017 10:51 PM (RrhD2)

240 And it won Oscars. It was (is) a steaming piece of poorly written, poorly acted, pile of excrement! Even Kate Winslet's amazing rack couldn't save that vile fucking movie.

Posted by: Puddleglum


It would have been a better movie if Billy Zane had been a better shot.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 30, 2017 10:51 PM (+lVUW)

241 231 Godfather II; Ivy League educated man greatly expands the business he inherited from his father but at the cost of estrangement from his wife and his brother

Posted by: kbdabear



Also, his brother died in a fishing "accident".

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 30, 2017 10:52 PM (xv/uN)

242 Truck driver ruins Chinese man's wedding, then runs off with his green eyed bride-to-be.

Posted by: Big Trouble in Little Chine at March 30, 2017 10:52 PM (Co0D0)

243 The Atlanta Freeway Fire and Subsequent collapse has a mention on the Drudge Report.

We're famous!

Posted by: ALH at March 30, 2017 10:52 PM (Z56vq)

244 In re Maps:

A more accurate visual representation of the completely unimportant shitehole that is the continent of Africa has never been seen before.

Posted by: Bensdad00 at March 30, 2017 10:52 PM (DkRXj)

245 Fair enough. Naive girl is thrown out of convent and seduced by older widower who then flees the country.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:48 PM (CPk0

How about, "Annoying misfit at convent gets farmed out as au pair, returns to YUGE wedding where her former roomies sing insulting songs about her as she walks up the aisle?"

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:53 PM (tHwdc)

246 The Dead Poet's Society

Teacher gives bad advice to an emotionally distraught teen, who commits suicide.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:53 PM (CPk08)

247 China not Chine.

Posted by: Big Trouble in Little China at March 30, 2017 10:53 PM (Co0D0)

248 Promiscuous sexual abuse survivor takes advantage of rich, mentally challenged man; leaves him with a son and a case of HIV.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:53 PM (0mRoj)

249 The gorgeous future Mrs Banana Splits suffers through obnoxious parents, whiny dead people, and the overacting of Michael Keaton.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at March 30, 2017 10:54 PM (RrhD2)

250 A young man decides to interrupt a girl's wedding after doing her Mom's bidding.

- The Graduate

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 30, 2017 10:55 PM (8iiMU)

251
Here's some movie trivia:

"220, 221, whatever it takes."


What's the movie?

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 30, 2017 10:55 PM (dPSy3)

252
" He cares about these helpless mortals?"
" Of course He cares. He died for our sins."
" That shall be His undoing."


"I got something to say."

"It's better to burn out. Than fade away. "

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at March 30, 2017 10:56 PM (KgpWR)

253 251 Mr. Mom

Posted by: ALH at March 30, 2017 10:56 PM (Z56vq)

254 so who is the astronautess that lost the space shield on the iss?

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 10:56 PM (cPsPa)

255 John Carpenter's The Thing

Superior alien life form lands on Earth and tries to get warm and eat dinner in Antarctica. Changes everything about itself to fit in with local inhabitants but they try to kill it anyway.

Posted by: Hopped Up On Something at March 30, 2017 10:56 PM (k7fBu)

256
That movie line above kinda reminds me of Donald Trump....

"Repeal, replace, whatever it takes."

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 30, 2017 10:56 PM (dPSy3)

257 Have you prayed to be delivered from your giraffelet?
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:49 PM (tHwdc)

Haha

Posted by: April, not of the giraffe variety at March 30, 2017 10:56 PM (e8PP1)

258 Every Uwe Boll movie ever made:

Uwe Boll is terrible and should feel really bad about that.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 30, 2017 10:56 PM (8nWyX)

259 Communist plays dangerous wargames to become capitalist. One man will not see Montana.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 10:56 PM (6gk0M)

260
Mr. Mom

Posted by: ALH



Impressive speed!

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 30, 2017 10:57 PM (dPSy3)

261 209 I like rewinding the part where Leo slips below the waves like a frosty meatsicle. Over and over.
Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her


Do you yell at the screen, "Where's your private jet now, you hypocrite bastard?"

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 30, 2017 10:57 PM (+lVUW)

262 Isolated gas station / truck stop becomes social focal point for a few days.

Posted by: Maximum Overdrive at March 30, 2017 10:57 PM (JO9+V)

263 251 Mr. Mom

Do I win a prize?

Posted by: ALH at March 30, 2017 10:57 PM (Z56vq)

264 Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:53 PM (0mRoj)

Do you remember my "Forest Gump II" movie treatment?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 30, 2017 10:57 PM (rF0hx)

265 "Cool" evolution t-shirt? I suppose it's[ pointless at this point to point out that the crossbow was an evolutionary dead end...

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at March 30, 2017 10:57 PM (kP16F)

266 Don't know if mentioned other night, but The Sopranos soundtrack was very great...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KYn3rIe1-s8

No one was hurt in the bridge collapse, correct?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 10:58 PM (7dpmG)

267 264 Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:53 PM (0mRoj)

Do you remember my "Forest Gump II" movie treatment?
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 30, 2017 10:57 PM (rF0hx)

Can't say as I do. Sorry.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:58 PM (0mRoj)

268 Lord of The Rings (I-III)

A guy's jewellery is stolen. It gets passed from hand to hand, but ends up with a guy who wants nothing to do with it and throws it away.


Cousin of famous jewelry thief destroys priceless ring to clear his family name.

Posted by: mikeski at March 30, 2017 10:59 PM (81V3b)

269 251 I want an AoSHQ T-shirt, ladies size medium.

Posted by: ALH at March 30, 2017 10:59 PM (Z56vq)

270

Titanic


Benevolent businessman rescues the near broke family of an ungrateful woman from impending poverty and takes her on a luxury cruise, only to discover that she is a whiny slut.

Posted by: otho at March 30, 2017 10:59 PM (lmIoG)

271 Avatar: Land developers have a plan to make a floating rock planet incredibly wealthy, but are thwarted by hordes of giant blue cavemen.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at March 30, 2017 10:59 PM (VdICR)

272 Pubescent-emerging girl gets sick on split pea soup, writes on her belly, then kills a couple of priests.

Posted by: The Exorcist at March 30, 2017 11:00 PM (JO9+V)

273 Also true for the remake: Hillary! 2016, the Movie

Don't laugh, there may be a sequel: Hillary!2020, the Movie II-Bitch Won't Go Away

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 30, 2017 11:00 PM (+lVUW)

274

Yep, you'd better believe I'm playing more than $50 per month. The drop length is a little over 200', right around there, and the lineman said with that length it ought to be the higher spec stuff any way. But no, they're too damned cheap.

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 30, 2017 11:00 PM (aKqWT)

275 Forrest Gump: Wealthy tard incessantly blathers at strangers on a park bench while waiting to see his AIDS whore of a girlfriend, before being saddled with a bastard child that might not even be his. Also he let a black guy die in his arms.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:01 PM (poT2p)

276 Don't laugh, there may be a sequel: Hillary!2020, the Movie II-Bitch Won't Go Away


The Hil-Zombie Apocalypse

Posted by: ALH at March 30, 2017 11:01 PM (Z56vq)

277 222 174 The Sound of Music

Nun breaks her vows, seduces rich widower and flees the country.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:29 PM (CPk0

She was a novice and never took vows.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 10:37 PM (tHwdc)

Fair enough. Naive girl is thrown out of convent and seduced by older widower who then flees the country.
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 10:48 PM (CPk0

Nah..... Sailor gets Lucky!

Posted by: Don Q. at March 30, 2017 11:02 PM (NgKpN)

278 Sorry.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:58 PM (0mRoj)

Humph!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 30, 2017 11:02 PM (rF0hx)

279 A conceited writer is rescued following a devastating car wreck by a devoted fan. She nurses him back to health, but is forced to take desperate measures to save a character's life.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at March 30, 2017 11:02 PM (RrhD2)

280

Maybe turn this game around and write somethng that makes the classic pornos sound like wholesome family entertainment.

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 30, 2017 11:02 PM (aKqWT)

281 Immigrant becomes millionaire in Miami. Six people meet His Little Friend. Others meet their end.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:03 PM (6gk0M)

282 Evenin' everyone.

Loner builds aircraft to defeat gang. (A Bug's Life)

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 30, 2017 11:03 PM (IcT7t)

283 Maybe turn this game around and write somethng that makes the classic pornos sound like wholesome family entertainment.
Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March




were you able to do that you would have watched way too much porn, and watched it wrong too.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 11:03 PM (cPsPa)

284 British singer Roger Daltrey says "a dead dog" would have beaten Hillary Clinton in the U.S. presidential election.

The Who's legendary front man tells the British music news website NME that President Donald Trump "really didn't win because Democrats threw it away by putting (Hillary Clinton) up. A dead dog would have won it against (her), look at that."

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at March 30, 2017 11:04 PM (e8kgV)

285 >>>I want an AoSHQ T-shirt, ladies size medium.

Posted by: ALH at March 30, 2017 10:59 PM (Z56vq)<<<

#TwoWeeks

(surprised no one beat me to this)

Posted by: an indifferent penguin at March 30, 2017 11:04 PM (Co0D0)

286 Aging Marine Staff Sergeant, after losing many squad members, loses most of another squad and his Lt and many civilians while out on patrol.

Posted by: Battle L.A. at March 30, 2017 11:04 PM (JO9+V)

287 Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at March 30, 2017 10:56 PM (KgpWR)
-------------------------------------
Highlander!
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Posted by: Browncoat formerly known as Mike at March 30, 2017 11:04 PM (o38N1)

288 Man practices knot tying....

50 Shades of Grey

Posted by: Don Q. at March 30, 2017 11:04 PM (NgKpN)

289 I for (at least) one would love to see CBD's FG2 treatment.

How about it?

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 11:04 PM (vUcdz)

290 Hi Blanco!

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 11:04 PM (tHwdc)

291 Highlander!
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
Posted by: Browncoat formerly known as Mike at March 30, 2017 11:04 PM (o38N1)

except for the sequels... and the TV show...

Posted by: Don Q. at March 30, 2017 11:05 PM (NgKpN)

292 Forrest Gump: Wealthy tard incessantly blathers at strangers on a park bench while waiting to see his AIDS whore of a girlfriend, before being saddled with a bastard child that might not even be his. Also he let a black guy die in his arms.
Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:01 PM (poT2p)

======

Really? You must be a bunch of fun at parties.

Posted by: Flyboy at March 30, 2017 11:05 PM (zklum)

293 Cop flies 3000 miles for some R&R but his plans for Netflix and Chill with his Ex are interrupted by uppity Germans.

Die Hard

Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 30, 2017 11:05 PM (TixTl)

294 Hi Blanco!

Hello, Miss Miley!

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 30, 2017 11:05 PM (IcT7t)

295 Sharknado

Movie about a typical night at AoSHQ.

Posted by: Basement Cat at March 30, 2017 11:06 PM (3C9q2)

296 278 Sorry.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 10:58 PM (0mRoj)

Humph!
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 30, 2017 11:02 PM (rF0hx)

All your brilliance just blends together.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 11:06 PM (0mRoj)

297 A retired, drug-addicted school principal and his former student take up child trafficking, smuggling a runaway Mexican girl to Canada.

Posted by: mikeski at March 30, 2017 11:06 PM (81V3b)

298 Two semi-employed musicians take a vacation to Florida for their health and both find love.

Posted by: Some Like It Hot at March 30, 2017 11:06 PM (JO9+V)

299 Unforgiven; Vindictive prostitutes hire deadly assassin to kill misogynist cowboys

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 11:06 PM (AOrEZ)

300 Philadelphia:

Prosperous copyright lawyer who loves the cock gets fired for fucking up, sues them claiming homophobia, parties with the queerest queers in Queertown, and dies. His lawsuit is successful despite his lawyer completely failing to prove the firm even knew he was gay.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:06 PM (poT2p)

301
shane:

man eats, shoots and leaves.
Posted by: musical jolly chimp


Magnificent Seven:

Seven men eat, shoot and two leave.

Posted by: Rent is too damn high guy at March 30, 2017 11:06 PM (IqV8l)

302 Nah..... Sailor gets Lucky!
Posted by: Don Q. at March 30, 2017 11:02 PM (NgKpN)


Threadwinner!

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 11:07 PM (CPk08)

303 Dumb fucking fishermen take boat into ocean to catch fish, knowing big hurricane is coming. Dumb ducking fishermen all die. The end.

What a dumb movie.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at March 30, 2017 11:07 PM (89T5c)

304 All your brilliance just blends together.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 30, 2017 11:06 PM (0mRoj)

All Your Brilliance Are Belong To Us

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 30, 2017 11:07 PM (tHwdc)

305 MATT DAMON!!!

Posted by: The Bourne Whatever at March 30, 2017 11:07 PM (Co0D0)

306 Loner finds out it isn't "White-Boy Day", as he tries to sell cocaine in Anaheim.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YQc7BAF-KA

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:07 PM (6gk0M)

307 >>>Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:06 PM (poT2p)

Have you ever applied to TV Guide?

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at March 30, 2017 11:07 PM (RrhD2)

308 ICYMI:

Moron tonypete is looking to set up a Central Ohio Moron Meetup in the Columbus OH area sometime soon. If you have an interest, please email at centralohmome atthingy email dot com.

Would love to see a SpringTime Ohio MoMe to compliment our Fall Southwest Ohio version.

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 11:07 PM (vUcdz)

309 Loner finds out it isn't "White-Boy Day", as he tries to sell cocaine in Anaheim.


Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:07 PM


Hahaha!

Posted by: otho at March 30, 2017 11:08 PM (lmIoG)

310 Lawrence of Arabia

A renegade British officer convinces the Arab tribes to stop killing each other and kill the Turkish invaders instead. The Arabs defeat the Turks and win, but the officer gets captured and raped. The Arabs promptly go back to killing each other and the officer goes back home all butt hurt.

Posted by: HuuskerDu at March 30, 2017 11:09 PM (gYAkw)

311 I! like ,,,,,,,! BTW, those kittens, are not, happy, dinosaurs.

Posted by: colfax mingo at March 30, 2017 11:09 PM (PX+kj)

312 It's ONT for sure.

Posted by: gNewt at March 30, 2017 11:09 PM (Fmmcs)

313
Matt Daemon!

Posted by: Bash Shell at March 30, 2017 11:09 PM (aKqWT)

314 310 Lawrence of Arabia

A renegade British officer convinces the Arab tribes to stop killing each other and kill the Turkish invaders instead. The Arabs defeat the Turks and win, but the officer gets captured and raped. The Arabs promptly go back to killing each other and the officer goes back home all butt hurt.
Posted by: HuuskerDu at March 30, 2017 11:09 PM (gYAkw)

Shorter version?

Man introduced to Gay sex in the Middle East...

Posted by: Don Q. at March 30, 2017 11:10 PM (NgKpN)

315 Trump reign o'er me.

Posted by: Hillary, that's Who at March 30, 2017 11:10 PM (IqV8l)

316 San Francisco police officer goes out for a ride in his '68 Ford Mustang.

Posted by: Bullitt at March 30, 2017 11:10 PM (Co0D0)

317 Sound of Music; Draft dodging naval officer leaves his fiancee for his children's nanny and use their children as decoys to skip out of the country

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 11:10 PM (AOrEZ)

318 Mrs. Doubtfire: Middle aged man pretends to be a nanny to get close to children.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 30, 2017 11:11 PM (Nwg0u)

319 "Mrs. Doubtfire: Middle aged man pretends to be a nanny to get close to children."
-Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 30, 2017 11:11 PM (Nwg0u)

*HAH!* Now we're getting into NYT headlines.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:12 PM (6gk0M)

320 Adopted brother turns against his family and encourages workers to rebel. With a powerful ally, he destroys his former family's military in a watery grave before imposing his rule through stone tablets.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at March 30, 2017 11:13 PM (RrhD2)

321 318 Mrs. Doubtfire: Middle aged man pretends to be a nanny to get close to children.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 30, 2017 11:11 PM (Nwg0u)

Middle Aged Crossdresser uses costumes to get close to children...

Posted by: Don Q. at March 30, 2017 11:13 PM (NgKpN)

322 Woman finds that "truth" and "faith" are the same after Senate Hearings.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:14 PM (6gk0M)

323 Schindler's List:

Oskar Schindler fucks every woman in sight, sips expensive liquor while watching slaves make him rich, goes to jail, sprays concentration camp victims with a fire hose, and walks away with all the gold 1000 Jews could come up with.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:14 PM (poT2p)

324 Ornery veteran gets really mad when Asian kid walks on his lawn. Makes it up to him by giving him a classic car.

Posted by: Gran Torino at March 30, 2017 11:14 PM (Co0D0)

325 Russia is that thin line atop Asia. No wonder we were able to spend the USSR into bankruptcy.
------------

Too bad Japan didn't have a map like that before Tora! Tora! Tora!

"Are you shittin' me? Have you looked at this map?" -Tojo

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 30, 2017 11:14 PM (ZO497)

326 320 BSG

Thanks! Passover's coming up, and I was looking for a shorter Seder.....

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 11:14 PM (vUcdz)

327 320:

And he supposes his toses are roses.

Erroneously.

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 30, 2017 11:14 PM (aKqWT)

328 Looks like those signs were made by girls who like rough sex and weren't getting any. I'd stay away from those bimbos. Never stick your dick in crazy.

Posted by: The Ghost of Howard Cosell at March 30, 2017 11:14 PM (Sda6L)

329 Poor child gets sent to a private school, grows up, gets filthy rich and powerful, and then in his old age, dies of natural causes.
Those f#ckers stole my idea!

Posted by: zombie charles dickens at March 30, 2017 11:15 PM (nlbfN)

330 Middle aged Pedophile, relives past dalliance while stealing priceless artifact....


Posted by: Raiders of the Lost ark at March 30, 2017 11:15 PM (NgKpN)

331 English agent and American special operator work with busty lasses to destroy enemy cable cars, a bus, and force another English agent to go nighttime skydiving.

Posted by: Where Eagles Dare at March 30, 2017 11:15 PM (JO9+V)

332 lost my internet connection. that hasn't happened for a long time.
It's been raining here for 3 days!

Posted by: booknlass at March 30, 2017 11:16 PM (8mO0Q)

333 327 publius

/golf clap

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 11:16 PM (vUcdz)

334 Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at March 30, 2017 11:13 PM (RrhD2)

Or:

Man hears voices which prompt him to drown his brother and flee the country.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 11:17 PM (CPk08)

335 Out of town stranger shows war widow and her son the true meaning of togetherness.

Posted by: The Day the Earth Stood Still at March 30, 2017 11:17 PM (IqV8l)

336 Man befriends volleyball after plane crash; Makes fire from pure friction.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:17 PM (6gk0M)

337 Dracula: Upper middle class Victorians with the help of a Dutch religious fanatic hound an Eastern European aristocrat from his home before killing him.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 30, 2017 11:17 PM (Nwg0u)

338 Young Man, on a search for identity, has sexual feelings for his Sister, and fights with his Father...

Posted by: Star Wars at March 30, 2017 11:18 PM (NgKpN)

339 And he supposes his toses are roses.

Erroneously.


https://youtu.be/byAfC5yW_hw

Posted by: mikeski at March 30, 2017 11:18 PM (81V3b)

340 A Doctor is the voice of reason when the crew and passengers of an airplane eat bad fish.

Posted by: Airplane! at March 30, 2017 11:19 PM (JO9+V)

341 115 Teddy bears save the galaxy. Have party when they're done. One goes on to create a very popular smart military blog.


Posted by: Return of the Jedi at March 30, 2017 10:25 PM (Co0D0)


Wrong. Anti-government insurgents assassinate leader legitimate government, blow up government facility, and doom planet to ecological ruin.

Posted by: buzzion at March 30, 2017 11:19 PM (cAnNx)

342 Man accused of assault, goes on a boat cruise... then to the races...

Posted by: Ben Hur at March 30, 2017 11:19 PM (NgKpN)

343 Rat makes soup.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:20 PM (6gk0M)

344 Actually, the title is pretty accurate.

Posted by: Debbie Does Dallas at March 30, 2017 11:20 PM (kCDOM)

345 Idiocracy:

A military grunt who talks like a fag invades the future and usurps their progressive utopia by revoking every American's right to electrolytes.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:20 PM (poT2p)

346 Saving Private Ryan:

Man abandons his comrades in the middle of a battle.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 11:20 PM (CPk08)

347 I speak Norwegian (Bork dialect) fairly well, this is what I got:

"The man on the bus is suspected of many sexual assaults against young women and girls in southern Stockholm. In six different cases, the man groped the victims' thighs and up between their legs. The police are warning about this man and are asking for help from everyone."

Meh.

Posted by: Naughtius at March 30, 2017 11:20 PM (WuFm6)

348 Sorry..

Rat Makes Soup, (Animated)

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:21 PM (6gk0M)

349 My favorite movie is The Three Legged Crows CAW On the Dandelion Side of the Mountain as Rommel Drives Deep Into Eygpt.

Posted by: colfax mingo at March 30, 2017 11:21 PM (PX+kj)

350 Rich boy with emotional baggage grows up thinking he's entitled to beat up anyone he pleases because of his mommy and daddy issues.

Posted by: Batman at March 30, 2017 11:21 PM (Co0D0)

351 339 mikeski

That was fantastic - Thank you!!

Posted by: ibguy at March 30, 2017 11:22 PM (vUcdz)

352 Army officer, embittered after having been made Lee's bitch at West Point, burns Atlanta in a pathological fit of mean-girl revenge.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 30, 2017 11:22 PM (ZO497)

353 Following a Labor dispute, Union Organizer tries to Export Labor...

Posted by: I am Spartacus! at March 30, 2017 11:22 PM (NgKpN)

354 Brian's Song:

Lando tries to prevent Sonny from being shot by the Barzinis, but arrives at Jabba's Palace too late.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:22 PM (poT2p)

355 Wartime bomber squadron commander gets a lot of guys killed.

Posted by: Twelve O'Clock High at March 30, 2017 11:22 PM (JO9+V)

356 Any Atlanta morons going to Radiohead Sat?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 11:23 PM (7dpmG)

357 On last Sunday's Columbo (they're running the "new", 90s episodes), George Hamilton was the guest murderer, playing a popular crime show host (take off on American's most wanted).

He killed a guy he aced out for the hosting gig who found out Hamilton's character starred in a porno when he was young. They name of the porno was "Holly does Houston".

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 30, 2017 11:23 PM (aKqWT)

358 Man fights for freedom against futuristic faggots in lighted suits. (Richard Dawson Hosts)

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:23 PM (6gk0M)

359 Rain Main; Debt ridden car dealer kidnaps an autistic man for a 3 million dollar ransom

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 11:23 PM (AOrEZ)

360 Boondock Saints:

Two IRA members murder an enormous amount of Russians with the aid of gay police corruption.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:24 PM (poT2p)

361 Sunday's Columbo (they're running the "new", 90s episodes), George Hamilton was the guest murderer, playing a popular crime show host (take off on American's most wanted).

He killed a guy he aced out for the hosting gig who found out Hamilton's character starred in a porno when he was young. They name of the porno was "Holly does Houston".
Posted by: publius(




well, even more interesting, the ending of the 90s hamilton Columbo, was very similar to the 70 hamilton Columbo.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 11:24 PM (cPsPa)

362 Classic twisted movie description:

A man's wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is badly hurt. To make matters worse, his son is kidnapped and the dad has to track the abductor thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.

It is, of course, Finding Nemo.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 30, 2017 11:24 PM (wB8Tg)

363 Song of Bernadette:

French chick with no song and no apparent musical ability joins convent on advice of invisible woman who lives at the town dump.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 30, 2017 11:25 PM (JZdsf)

364 15 DangerGirl


Prayers ascending for you and yours. May your path and his be serene, whatever the outcome.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 30, 2017 11:25 PM (u82oZ)

365 Pulp Fiction:

Narcan, anal rape, and blueberry pancakes. John Travolta poops a lot.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:25 PM (poT2p)

366 Stunningly beautiful WREN officer keeps her commanding officer from singlehandedly losing the war.

Posted by: Sink The Bismarck at March 30, 2017 11:25 PM (JO9+V)

367 Hey everybody.

You all will love this. Especially given that at FB, OCWeekly and this "restaurant" are getting almost nothing but ridicule (which is all they deserve).

http://www.ocweekly.com/restaurants/zcafe-joins-the-sanctuary-restaurant-movement-7994838

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 30, 2017 11:25 PM (qazQh)

368 ["eats, shoots and leaves" was a best selling book on grammar and the importance of punctuation. using it to describe the movie "shane" was a combination of the grammar and movie review themes of this ont.

but you knew that.]

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at March 30, 2017 11:25 PM (WTSFk)

369 Before the Richard Dawson part, thought Tron

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 11:25 PM (7dpmG)

370 Man rises to high political office by pretending he killed a famous gunfighter.

- The Man Who Sbot Liberty Valance

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 30, 2017 11:26 PM (Nwg0u)

371 Janitor Kid from Boston solves Unsolvable Problem.

-Wonders if You Like Them Apples.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:26 PM (6gk0M)

372 Street Con Artist uses his slave to manipulate princess into marrying him.

Posted by: Aladdin at March 30, 2017 11:26 PM (cAnNx)

373 Sophie's Choice.

Woman betrays her clinically insane husband by having an affair, and then convinces him to join her in a suicide pact.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 11:27 PM (CPk08)

374 An average joe travels back in time to stop a robot from the future so he can knock up a waitress in a sleazy motel.

The Terminator

Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 30, 2017 11:27 PM (TixTl)

375 Twilight: A hundred year old man falls in love with a high school girl.

Posted by: PBJ1515 at March 30, 2017 11:27 PM (PsdJu)

376 Song of Bernadette made me think of the Jerk

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 11:27 PM (7dpmG)

377 Up (2009)

Using colorful balloons an old man absconds with a girl scout inside his home. They go to South America where she gets attacked by another old man, a pack of talking dogs, and an aggressive blimp.

Posted by: HuuskerDu at March 30, 2017 11:28 PM (gYAkw)

378 Favor to ask:

The local paper runs an annual restaurant 'bracket' competition.
My friend runs a very small, very good place, called M. B. Haskett (his name, and name of his place).

If you would care to vote to help him get to the next round, please do so under the Downtown division! He's currently a bit behind the competition, which is advancing via social media.

www.argusleader.com/pages/interactives/
food-falls-bracket-challenge/

Thanks.

Posted by: Sioux Falls, SD at March 30, 2017 11:28 PM (L7t0A)

379 Entitled American thinks he can murder members of Mexico's police force when a father sends his daughter to stay with a baby sitter.

Posted by: Man on Fire at March 30, 2017 11:28 PM (Co0D0)

380 Let's see if I remember. '70s George Hamilton killed Lesley Ann Warren via hypnosis. He had previously killed her husband and was afraid she was going to crack. Blind man was the witness.

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 30, 2017 11:28 PM (aKqWT)

381 Scent of a Woman:

Blind old drunk makes a college kid sit in the car while he goes and fucks a prostitute, dances with the one chick the kid shows interest in, and ultimately holds a pistol on him and threatens to kill him. Finally, he forces his way into a private college hearing and fraudulently claims to be the kid's father before drunkenly ranting at the distinguished head of a learning institution.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:29 PM (poT2p)

382 377 Up (2009)

Using colorful balloons an old man absconds with a girl scout inside his home. They go to South America where she gets attacked by another old man, a pack of talking dogs, and an aggressive blimp.

Posted by: HuuskerDu at March 30, 2017 11:28 PM (gYAkw)



It was a boy.

Posted by: buzzion at March 30, 2017 11:29 PM (cAnNx)

383 Saving Private Ryan:



A ranger unit gets killed searching for a entitled boy who places his needs over the ranger's lives.

Posted by: Beartooth at March 30, 2017 10:23 PM (lRNBd)


Six men hike across France, in order to tell one man that his brothers are dead. Along the way the bond and learn about each other's lives.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at March 30, 2017 11:29 PM (fKWf6)

384 I'm laughing my Fuckin' Ass off right now!

Y'all are some silly bastards!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:29 PM (6gk0M)

385 The sordid tale of Sex amongst the upper crust... and how they prey on poor woodland creatures, to support a game...

Posted by: Caddyshack at March 30, 2017 11:30 PM (NgKpN)

386 Jurassic Park --
Rich guy opens dinosaur theme park but the exhibits eat all the guests.

Jurassic World --
Rich corporation opens dinosaur theme park but the exhibits eat all the guests.

Jurassic Word 2 --
Rich corporation reopens dinosaur theme park but the exhibits eat all the guests.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 30, 2017 11:30 PM (JZdsf)

387 Midnight Cowboy: Repressed Texas faggot hangs out with the strangest motherfuckers you ever seen. He retires in Florida with a dead cripple.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:30 PM (poT2p)

388
383 Saving Private Ryan:



A ranger unit gets killed searching for a entitled boy who places his needs over the ranger's lives.

Posted by: Beartooth at March 30, 2017 10:23 PM (lRNBd)


Six men hike across France, in order to tell one man that his brothers are dead. Along the way the bond and learn about each other's lives.


Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at March 30, 2017 11:29 PM (fKWf6)



Whiny pacifist makes fellow soldiers release war criminal who then proceeds to kill several of them.

Posted by: buzzion at March 30, 2017 11:31 PM (cAnNx)

389 well, in the finale of the 70s version Columbo asks him if he has ever seen this man before, because Hamilton nearly ran him over leaving the house of the man he murdered. the man he nearly ran over was blind, walking his dog.

at the end of the 90s version Columbo asks him if he has ever seen this dog before.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 11:31 PM (cPsPa)

390 90s Columbos are terrible.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 11:32 PM (cPsPa)

391 Believing a ghost told him his father the king was murdered, prince kills his girlfriend and both their families before causing his country's by an invading army.

- Hamlet

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 30, 2017 11:32 PM (Nwg0u)

392 Red Dawn

An impoverished and technically backward country invades a huge military superpower thousands of miles away, whose inhabitants must then resort to guerrilla warfare

Sorry guys; it is hard to make that one sound more retarded than it is.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 11:32 PM (CPk08)

393 Undisciplined, rule-breaking fighter pilot kills his RIO after ditching him in a 2-man volleyball tournament.

Posted by: Top Gun at March 30, 2017 11:32 PM (JO9+V)

394 Seven different endings make this "WhoDunnit" one to be seen. Michael McKeon ultimately goes home to fuck his Wife.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:32 PM (6gk0M)

395 Kramer vs Kramer:

Dustin Hoffman is a dedicated father, Meryl Streep is a deadbeat mother, so of course she gets custody. Then she abandons the kid again. Fuck you.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:32 PM (poT2p)

396 4 women kill Bill Murray and the memory of one of the best movies of the 80s.

Posted by: buzzion at March 30, 2017 11:33 PM (cAnNx)

397 Guy goes on boat ride with motley crew, finds Brando and kills him.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 30, 2017 11:33 PM (JZdsf)

398 Any Atlanta morons going to Radiohead Sat?
Posted by: Cosmic Charlie
--------------

Not by I-85. Fire has caused an overpass to collapse. Pretty weird when you know that fire can't melt steel.

Something rather suspicious going on there:
http://tinyurl.com/n8xglzp

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 30, 2017 11:33 PM (ZO497)

399 Kramer vs Kramer:

Dustin Hoffman is a dedicated father, Meryl Streep is a deadbeat mother, so of course she gets custody. Then she abandons the kid again. Fuck you.
Posted by: S




why even remind us of the movie?

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 11:33 PM (cPsPa)

400 funny thing about I85 collapsing, that section was built by Trump but collapsed while rosie odonnell was driving on it.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 11:35 PM (cPsPa)

401 Back to the Future: After stealing a priceless invention and leaving a terrorist victim to die, a slacker almost fucks his mom and helps destroy a beautiful clock. He also ruins a great episode of the Honeymooners.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:35 PM (poT2p)

402 Midnight Cowboy: Repressed Texas faggot hangs out with the strangest motherfuckers you ever seen. He retires in Florida with a dead cripple.
Posted by: S
------------

This...THIS, is why I hang out here.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 30, 2017 11:35 PM (ZO497)

403 Jurassic Park --
Rich guy opens dinosaur theme park but the exhibits eat all the guests.
"Jurassic World --
Rich corporation opens dinosaur theme park but the exhibits eat all the guests.

Jurassic Word 2 --
Rich corporation reopens dinosaur theme park but the exhibits eat all the guests.
"
-Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 30, 2017 11:30 PM (JZdsf)

I have typed "I just pissed myself", to effect, numerous times. I laughed so hard at that, I actually need to change myself.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:35 PM (6gk0M)

404 Steely eyed western gunslinger steals Russian plane, goes on a joyride.

Posted by: Firefox at March 30, 2017 11:35 PM (JO9+V)

405 Man hallucinates giant talking Rabbit as he hunts down his partner's killer.

Roger Rabbit.

Posted by: buzzion at March 30, 2017 11:35 PM (cAnNx)

406

I like most of the 90s Columbo's all right. I know some don't. What I like is Falk is older, with more "character" in his face, and it makes Columbo more cranky and curmudgeonly.

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 30, 2017 11:35 PM (aKqWT)

407 A lonely cannibal falls in love with an idealistic lesbian FBI agent who encourages him to escape from prison so he can eat his doctor.

Silence of the Lambs

Posted by: Browncoat formerly known as Mike at March 30, 2017 11:35 PM (o38N1)

408 Starship Troopers meets Groundhog Day.

Starring a midget Scientologist.

Posted by: Country Singer at March 30, 2017 11:36 PM (GUBah)

409 Uber driver told me tonight it was because pvc pipe caught fire. Wut?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 11:36 PM (7dpmG)

410 Crazy scientist sends teenage boy on trip to mess with the fabric of time, and make out with his own mother.

Posted by: Back to the Future at March 30, 2017 11:36 PM (Co0D0)

411 "Back to the Future: After stealing a priceless invention and leaving a terrorist victim to die, a slacker almost fucks his mom and helps destroy a beautiful clock. He also ruins a great episode of the Honeymooners."
-Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:35 PM (poT2p)

HAHAHA!! I'm fuckin' dying here!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:36 PM (6gk0M)

412 Scotsman wants to live in peace. King fucks with him and kills his wife. Scotsman fucks king's daughter in law, goes all medieval on King's army. Fair amount of bagpipes.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 30, 2017 11:37 PM (JZdsf)

413 Camelot

Sexy Frenchman invades English court, seduces queen, ignites English civil war, leaves English king to sing song about JFK.

Posted by: Basement Cat at March 30, 2017 11:37 PM (3C9q2)

414
I like most of the 90s Columbo's all right. I know some don't. What I like is Falk is older, with more "character" in his face, and it makes Columbo more cranky and curmudgeonly.
Posted by: publius




well, they are ok as television goes but they are clearly of lesser quality than the 70s shows.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 11:37 PM (cPsPa)

415 Slim Pickens plays psycho phallocentric Texan who nukes Russia.

Posted by: Dr. Strangelove at March 30, 2017 11:37 PM (ZO497)

416 Independance Day


Alien invasion force uses Windows based system on its mothership, and pays predictable consequences.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 11:37 PM (CPk08)

417 377 pretty sure the character played by Kim Jong Un in Up was a boy.

Posted by: Weirddave at March 30, 2017 11:38 PM (CTvSA)

418 Buzz ion first part sounds like Donnie Darko

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 11:38 PM (7dpmG)

419 Tron: Disgruntled ex-employee tries to expose IP theft, is captured but escapes and turns the tables.

Starship Troopers: Ill-prepared exterminators face their biggest challenge yet.

The Nightmare Before Christmas: Anorexic man kidnaps and imprisons Santa Claus, attempt to reboot Christmas, fails.

Unbreakable: Security guard discovers hundreds of deaths were the result of a disabled stalker.

Memento: Man forgets things.

Twelve Monkeys: Time-traveling man can't even.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 30, 2017 11:38 PM (wB8Tg)

420 Apocalypse Now: A drunken psychotic steals a surfboard, pimps Playboy bunnies, smokes opium on a wealthy plantation, and steals a Colonel's book.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:38 PM (poT2p)

421 398:
Something rather suspicious going on there



Jews.

or Russians.

Maybe Russian Jews?

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 30, 2017 11:39 PM (xv/uN)

422 Sordid tale of a Teacher, falling in love with a student who is a champion athlete....

Posted by: Back to School at March 30, 2017 11:39 PM (NgKpN)

423 Starship Troopers: Ill-prepared exterminators face their biggest challenge yet.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 30, 2017 11:38 PM (wB8Tg)



Also sorta works for Ghostbusters.

Posted by: Country Singer at March 30, 2017 11:39 PM (GUBah)

424 I record the Columbos so I can put them on when I cannot fall asleep. for a while they were running on one channel then switched to another.

few weeks ago I was going to sleep while the one about the candidate killing his karl rove, understandably so, and noticed the scene where Columbo goes to the candidate's tailor was but out. woke me up.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 11:39 PM (cPsPa)

425 Incompetent, entitled naval skipper gets his faster, smaller boat rammed by an enemy ship causing his men to be killed and stranded.

- PT 109

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 30, 2017 11:40 PM (Nwg0u)

426 Starship Troopers favorite Yes song

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 11:40 PM (7dpmG)

427 Uber driver told me tonight it was because pvc pipe caught fire. Wut?
Posted by: Cosmic Charlie
-----------------

Russians. It was the fucking Russians.

What interesting is that Atlanta has almost ground to a halt.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 30, 2017 11:40 PM (ZO497)

428 Maybe turn this game around and write something that makes the classic pornos sound like wholesome family entertainment.

Behind the Green Door: wealthy San Francisco socialite becomes the surprise hit of a one-night stage show.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 30, 2017 11:41 PM (nlbfN)

429 Man hallucinates giant talking Rabbit as he hunts down his partner's killer.

Roger Rabbit.
Posted by: buzzion


Sorta sounds like Harvey except for the killer part.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 30, 2017 11:41 PM (IqV8l)

430 Man, this is getting bitter.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 30, 2017 11:41 PM (wB8Tg)

431 so blueberry muffin bread, time hack or abomination against the universe and polite society?

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 11:42 PM (cPsPa)

432 Kiss of the Spiderwoman

Guy gets thrown in jail. Ends up having gay sex.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 11:42 PM (CPk08)

433 Unexpected appearance of black monolith at monkey's cave sets off an unlikely series of events that ends up with an enormous fetus floating around in Earth orbit.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 30, 2017 11:42 PM (JZdsf)

434 416 Independance Day


Alien invasion force uses Windows based system on its mothership, and pays predictable consequences.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shutin



HAHAHA!!!

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 30, 2017 11:42 PM (xv/uN)

435 Should have been titled "Any Day Ending With Y"

Criminal gang shoots up downtown L.A. while committing a robbery

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 11:43 PM (AOrEZ)

436 Oskar Schindler fucks every woman in sight, sips expensive liquor while
watching slaves make him rich, goes to jail, sprays concentration camp
victims with a fire hose, and walks away with all the gold 1000 Jews
could come up with.
========
A makeout movie, eh?

Posted by: jerry seinfeld at March 30, 2017 11:44 PM (nlbfN)

437 Deep Throat: Woman with a rare disorder turns her life around with the help of a caring doctor.

Posted by: shibumi at March 30, 2017 11:44 PM (FkAXz)

438 Kid won't listen to the good advice of adults, almost blinds himself. His father wins major award, only to have it destroyed by jealous the jealous mother. Little brother grows up to do pornos.

Posted by: A Christmas Story at March 30, 2017 11:44 PM (Co0D0)

439 Clueless spoiled dude graduates with Journalism degree. Can't find a job, so he plows his girlfriend's mother out of boredom.

Posted by: The graduate at March 30, 2017 11:44 PM (ZO497)

440 Moviemakers create a mess of paradoxes, think audiences are stupid.

Posted by: Looper at March 30, 2017 11:44 PM (JO9+V)

441 Has anyone ever seen the doc about all the theories about the Shining?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 11:44 PM (7dpmG)

442 Poor Texas family farm attacked by rabid dog.

- old Yeller

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 30, 2017 11:45 PM (Nwg0u)

443 Story of a Man and Woman, estranged for some time, coming back together, on Christmas....

Posted by: Die Hard at March 30, 2017 11:45 PM (NgKpN)

444 Height challenged eastern philospher takes job as cooler at bar. Uncovers corruption and graft in small town - rips out bad guys throat.

Roadhouse

Posted by: Quilters Irish Death at March 30, 2017 11:45 PM (ARrr3)

445 oops. one too many jelouses in there.

Posted by: A Christmas Story at March 30, 2017 11:46 PM (Co0D0)

446 Has anyone ever seen the doc about all the theories about the Shining?
--

Yes. Yes. I have. Crazy stuff. But awesome.

In the same vein, there's a video called "Shining" that mixes the trailer for The Shining with the Peter Gabriel Song "Solisbury Hill." Gives the film a different feel...

Posted by: shibumi at March 30, 2017 11:46 PM (FkAXz)

447
Local boy turned gangster is living the high life until cocaine brings him down.

Goodfellas

Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 30, 2017 11:47 PM (TixTl)

448 I want to come out with movies based on... classic foods and beverages.

"PIZZA: The Movie!"

"GATORADE: The Movie!"

"HUNGRY MAN: The Movie!"

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 30, 2017 11:47 PM (qazQh)

449 447
Local boy turned gangster is living the high life until cocaine brings him down.

Goodfellas
Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup



Blow

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 30, 2017 11:47 PM (xv/uN)

450 Farmer grows potatoes on Mars, runs out of ketchup.

Posted by: The Martian at March 30, 2017 11:48 PM (JO9+V)

451 Omaha Beach.

At low tide, walk to the water's edge, turn and look back. You can yet feel that day.

The walk back made goosebumps and a sense of mounting panic.

I cannot imagine HOW they did what they did.

Posted by: irongrampa at March 30, 2017 11:48 PM (X35Yt)

452 "BAKED BEANS: The Movie!"

"TOP RAMEN: The Movie!"

"ADVIL: The Movie!"

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 30, 2017 11:48 PM (qazQh)

453 "PIZZA: The Movie!"

Dude, I love that movie!

Posted by: character from Idiocracy at March 30, 2017 11:48 PM (jw2Xw)

454 Maybe turn this game around and write something that makes the classic pornos sound like wholesome family entertainment.

-
Loving plumber allows coeds to work off their plumbing bill.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 30, 2017 11:48 PM (Nwg0u)

455 Witch uses Magic to change young children, all the while spurring the affections of a poor working class British Man.

Posted by: Mary Popins at March 30, 2017 11:48 PM (NgKpN)

456 Misery:

A lonely woman, saddled with an irascible and foul-mouthed houseguest, does everything in her power to encourage him to rediscover his talent for writing romantic literature. He ends up choking her to death while calling her a sick, twisted fuck.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:48 PM (poT2p)

457 why even remind us of the movie?

For the sequel, Kramer vs Godzilla!

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 30, 2017 11:48 PM (IcT7t)

458 Woman can't stop pinball machine from going 'TILT'.

Posted by: The Accused at March 30, 2017 11:49 PM (TDJsa)

459 Greatest hero in the world is a newspaper reporter.

Posted by: Superman at March 30, 2017 11:49 PM (Co0D0)

460 Bambi

A male deer is born, grows up, fucks a doe and she throws twins.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 11:49 PM (CPk08)

461 448 I want to come out with movies based on... classic foods and beverages.

"PIZZA: The Movie!"

"GATORADE: The Movie!"

"HUNGRY MAN: The Movie!"
Posted by: qdpsteve at March 30, 2017 11:47 PM (qazQh)
*************
"SPACEBALLS" the flamethrower... the kids love these

Posted by: Quilters Irish Death at March 30, 2017 11:49 PM (ARrr3)

462 Kramer vs Kramer:
----

why even remind us of the movie?

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 30, 2017 11:33 PM (cPsPa)


We'll remind you every time you look up the Oscar's winners list for Best Picture.

Posted by: Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences at March 30, 2017 11:50 PM (hkdnQ)

463 I want to come out with movies based on... classic foods and beverages.


"PIZZA: The Movie!"


"GATORADE: The Movie!"


"HUNGRY MAN: The Movie!"
--

You're thinking too small.

The General Mills Saga I: Cheerios.
The General Mills Saga II: Honey Nut Cheerios
The General Mills Saga II: Cheerios + Ancient Grains

Add in every company and their sub-brands, and you now have work until you die.

Posted by: shibumi at March 30, 2017 11:50 PM (FkAXz)

464 Urban renewal project fails due to a failure ro properly execute the demolition project....

Posted by: A brige too Far at March 30, 2017 11:50 PM (NgKpN)

465 Escaped convict tricks poor black guy into leaving the U.S. so he can sand convict's boat down in Mexico.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 30, 2017 11:51 PM (JZdsf)

466 Gammer finally finishes up the code he's been laboring on, discovers small bug. Decides to reconsider the virtues of AI.

Posted by: Tron at March 30, 2017 11:51 PM (ZO497)

467
The walk back made goosebumps and a sense of mounting panic.

I cannot imagine HOW they did what they did.
Posted by: irongrampa


I got that feeling walking on abandoned airstrips on Guam in 1972.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 30, 2017 11:51 PM (IqV8l)

468 shibumi, great ideas! :-)

And I understand how you feel about memories re past jobs, or what might have been.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 30, 2017 11:51 PM (qazQh)

469 Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:30 PM (poT2p)

Ease up there stud....

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 30, 2017 11:52 PM (rF0hx)

470 Star Wars: White separatists band together to devastate a massive and history-making public works project created by a black politician.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:52 PM (poT2p)

471 Widower attorney and his young children are haunted by reclusive neighbor with a violent past.

- To Kill a Mockingbird

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 30, 2017 11:52 PM (Nwg0u)

472 Highlight of the General Mills movies:

His epic battles with evil cereal titan, Captain Crunch!

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 30, 2017 11:53 PM (qazQh)

473 White guy, black guy and hooker team up to steal everything that two elderly men own.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 30, 2017 11:53 PM (JZdsf)

474 The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

Young boy runs away from home with older man, but bonds with him and helps him evade the authorities.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 30, 2017 11:53 PM (CPk08)

475 WWII submarine goes on patrol, sinks truck.

Posted by: Operation Petticoat at March 30, 2017 11:53 PM (JO9+V)

476 Powerless child gets his gun, amongst chaotic dogs.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:54 PM (6gk0M)

477 Man travels the Mideast with his friends. He disappears for three days before being found three days later.

Posted by: The Greatest Story Ever Told at March 30, 2017 11:54 PM (TDJsa)

478 Here's a fun one: This is a map of the world where each country's area is proportional to its GDP.

They left a whole friggin continent out!

That map would have been even cooler if it had been done on a per capita basis.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at March 30, 2017 11:54 PM (zc3Db)

479 Wrath of Khan; Flag officer doesn't know when to retire, takes over command of an inexperienced ship and crew to visit an old girlfiend, forgets about that sociopathic superman he dumped on a shithole planet

Posted by: kbdabear at March 30, 2017 11:55 PM (AOrEZ)

480 >> few weeks ago I was going to sleep while the one
>> about the candidate killing his karl rove

If we're talking about the same one, that was a couple or three weeks ago. MeTV on Sunday nights, 8PM. They switched that hour to the new 90s ones in Jan.

The great Patrick McGoohan was the murderer, one of his 4 stints. Two in the '70s, two in the 90s, and he directed quite a few as well as playing in them. He and Falk were good friends.

Anyway, it's more the Karl Rove kills. There was a '70s one were the candidate kills the Karl Rove type. Heck, they could've ran that one on whatever station you were watching.

But this one, with McGoohan was good (I love his voice). A presidential candidate picks a California congresscriter as his running mate. McGoohan is the Karl Rove for that critter, who is an asshole. He affects a friendly persona, but the asshole quickly comes out, which Columbo quickly pulls out, of course.

Years ago, the critter was working in a local prosecutor's office, and McGoohan gets him to accidentally lose some evidence for some racketeer McGoohan is lawyering for.

He's indicted again, and tries to blackmail McGoohan into fixing things again somehow by threatening to expose what they did years ago.

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 30, 2017 11:55 PM (aKqWT)

481 Shibumi, just watched. "Meet Jack Torrance'..."

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 30, 2017 11:55 PM (7dpmG)

482 Glengarry Glen Ross:

A successful and assertive salesman delivers a motivational speech to an office, only to find that his audience turns to criminal conduct as a result.

Posted by: S at March 30, 2017 11:55 PM (poT2p)

483 Ahhh...

The story of a Bronze Medal Winner in the Modern Pentathalon (which includes riding)... after years of hard work and dedication, finally gets to ride a Lipizzaner Stallion...

Posted by: Patton at March 30, 2017 11:55 PM (NgKpN)

484 Has anyone ever rated all of the Stephen King novel-based movies, from best to worst?

Seems like almost all of the best ones are the early ones. Carrie, The Shining, Salem's Lot.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 30, 2017 11:56 PM (qazQh)

485 Innocent man crawls through One-Thousand Yards of Unthinkable Cess.

I know that "cess" isn't a word but it is, now.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:57 PM (6gk0M)

486 Mild mannered scientist experiences severe 'roid rage when he gets mad. Destroys a lot of things.

Posted by: The Incredible Hulk at March 30, 2017 11:58 PM (Co0D0)

487 We're not doing that anymore?

Well, sit me down and shut me up.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 30, 2017 11:58 PM (6gk0M)

488 Thrill seeking scoundrel spirits away bride-to-be, runs away from pursuing father-in-law, has sex with her across several state lines.

Posted by: Smokey and the Bandit at March 30, 2017 11:59 PM (JO9+V)

489 Princess Bride: Obsessed brigand stalks innocent girl. Sketchy doctor reanimates him from the dead, which allows brigand to consummate his obsession.

Posted by: Northernlurker at March 30, 2017 11:59 PM (nBr1j)

490 All the drummers die.

Posted by: Spinal Tap at March 30, 2017 11:59 PM (SI21n)

491 @314, 310 Lawrence of Arabia, Opening Scene:
A British motor cycle starts on the first kick.
And then look what happens.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 31, 2017 12:00 AM (H5rtT)

492 Cocaine addict stalks the moors and spies on newcomer with a fear of dogs.

- The Hound of the Baskervilles

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 31, 2017 12:00 AM (Nwg0u)

493 Rightwing Christian extremists take over school and violate safe spaces. Trees murdered.

Posted by: Charlie browns christmas at March 31, 2017 12:00 AM (3/Xuc)

494 Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf - Hip young university couple join a middle aged couple for an evening of drinks, games, and laughs.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 31, 2017 12:00 AM (ZO497)

495 The great Patrick McGoohan was the murderer, one of his 4 stints.
I remember the military academy one!

Posted by: andycanuck at March 31, 2017 12:01 AM (nlbfN)

496 A Few Good Men; Low ranking JAG lawyer decides that he knows better than a decorated Marine colonel how platoon discipline should be handled

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:01 AM (AOrEZ)

497 282 Evenin' everyone.
Loner builds aircraft to defeat gang. (A Bug's Life)
Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 30, 2017 11:03

Someone has been babysitting. How is the emotional 2 year old?

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at March 31, 2017 12:01 AM (hscyr)

498 80+ year old WWII veteran awakes from a long nap to join misfit team of heroes.

Posted by: Captain America: The First Avenger at March 31, 2017 12:01 AM (Co0D0)

499 `@ 484

His writing pretty much followed the same path.

Posted by: irongrampa at March 31, 2017 12:01 AM (X35Yt)

500 Man finds out that the boy he is raising is not his son, seeks to return him to his rightful father.

Posted by: The Omen at March 31, 2017 12:02 AM (JO9+V)

501 No wonder Bruce Hornsby said thanks, but no thanks.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 12:02 AM (7dpmG)

502 Board game comes alive; curses neighborhood.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 12:02 AM (6gk0M)

503 Someone has been babysitting. How is the emotional 2 year old?

He's good. But then, he's not here tonight.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 31, 2017 12:03 AM (IcT7t)

504 Gettysburg

Woke college professor bored with teaching language skills to undergraduates finds true calling leading a bunch of Mainiacs armed to the teeth on a downhill charge against rayciss rednecks waving Confederate flags.

Posted by: Basement Cat at March 31, 2017 12:03 AM (3C9q2)

505 Monkey loving swinger, finds action in the Jungle...

Posted by: Tarzan at March 31, 2017 12:03 AM (NgKpN)

506 The Graduate:

A college agitator takes advantage of a depressed, alcoholic friend of the family before stalking her daughter and ruining her wedding.

Posted by: S at March 31, 2017 12:03 AM (poT2p)

507 486 Mild mannered scientist experiences severe 'roid rage when he gets mad. Destroys a lot of things.
Posted by: The Incredible Hulk at March 30, 2017 11:58 PM (Co0D0)


Or, Avengers:

Gang manipulates man with severe mood disorder and episodes of uncontrollable violence into attacking its enemies.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 31, 2017 12:03 AM (CPk08)

508 Spiderman; Young science undergrad shows Alex the Chick that spiders are a force for GOOD

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:04 AM (AOrEZ)

509 Star Wars:

Religious zealot brainwashes newly orphaned teenage boy into kamakaze-style suicide attack against military installation.


Posted by: looking closely at March 31, 2017 12:04 AM (0hzM1)

510 Group of strangers try living together in a shopping mall.

Dawn of the Dead.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 31, 2017 12:04 AM (IcT7t)

511 And I understand how you feel about memories re past jobs, or what might have been.
--

Thank you for your kind words qdpsteve.

The current boss kind of put me in a bad position: I had to contact the former boss about some information regarding a piece of gear being used in a story I did not write. The person doing that story decided not to include the former bosses in the article, and wormed his way out of doing his due diligence regarding the information my boss requested. Then my boss, who is currently in gay guy panic mode, asked me to do it.

Then I got to explain to the former boss that oh, by the way, you're not really in the article at all, but we need this info from you. Which was kind of sh*tty and they weren't happy about being left out. And I don't blame them. But.. they know I have nothing to do with it, and it was a positive conversation overall.

But really? Current boss totally owes me a favor.

Posted by: shibumi at March 31, 2017 12:04 AM (FkAXz)

512 Irongrampa, yup.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 31, 2017 12:04 AM (qazQh)

513 Low ranking JAG lawyer decides that he knows better than a decorated Marine colonel how platoon discipline should be handled

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:01 AM (AOrEZ)



This is about me isn't it?

Posted by: Lindsey at March 31, 2017 12:05 AM (sexas)

514 Man hallucinates giant talking Rabbit as he hunts down his partner's killer.

Roger Rabbit.
Posted by: buzzion

Similarly, alcoholic imagines giant talking rabbit and makes everyone around him go crazy
"Harvey", starring Jimmy Stewart

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at March 31, 2017 12:05 AM (S6Pax)

515 shibumi, yup. You've told me the current boss thrives on drama.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 31, 2017 12:05 AM (qazQh)

516 Deranged stalker engages in lifelong plot to kill man he once idolized. Nearly succeeds in killing him, and his entire family. Samuel L. Jackson is in this movie, too.

Posted by: The Incredibles at March 31, 2017 12:06 AM (Co0D0)

517 Born Free

A kitten grows up into an adult cat, which fucks another cat, and has kittens.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 31, 2017 12:06 AM (CPk08)

518 insurgents use guerilla tactics to beat back tyrant regime that wants to rest control of the universe's supply of worm shit.

Dune

Posted by: Quilters Irish Death at March 31, 2017 12:06 AM (ARrr3)

519 The Lion King

A kitten grows up into an adult cat, which fucks another cat, and has kittens.

there's a theme here...

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 31, 2017 12:07 AM (CPk08)

520 shibumi, yup. You've told me the current boss thrives on drama.
--

We've had some differences in the past, but to be honest, he's one of the best bosses I've had.

The only problem is that I'm a straight women, he's a gay man, and in our relationship, I'm pretty much....the man. It gets worse when he's stressed.

However... I'm no picnic when I'm stressed, so it probably evens out.

Posted by: shibumi at March 31, 2017 12:07 AM (FkAXz)

521 Seems like almost all of the best ones are the early ones. Carrie, The Shining, Salem's Lot.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 30, 2017 11:56 PM (qazQh)


The later in his career five mini-novel serial, The Green Mile, was pretty good.

Posted by: RickZ at March 31, 2017 12:07 AM (hkdnQ)

522 Scientist's failure to maintain a clean room ruins his work.

Posted by: The Fly at March 31, 2017 12:08 AM (JO9+V)

523 Three men look for hidden gold during the civil war.

Posted by: If you have to shoot, shoot at March 31, 2017 12:08 AM (IqV8l)

524 A lonely widower and an engaged girl explore how difficult it is to find an apartment. Also, some butter.

Posted by: Last Tango in Paris at March 31, 2017 12:09 AM (H5rtT)

525 Femme fatale manipulates and exploits her would be lover before abandoning him to his death on the Empire State Building.

- King Kong

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 31, 2017 12:09 AM (Nwg0u)

526 The story of the rise of a Senator....

Posted by: Animal House, Sen. Blutarsky at March 31, 2017 12:09 AM (NgKpN)

527 RickZ, true.

Misery isn't awful either, maybe because the source novel is actually *short.*

OTOH, I've also heard good things about the "It" miniseries, plus there's a new movie version coming out.

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 31, 2017 12:09 AM (qazQh)

528 I don't watch enough movies and I can't rub two brain cells together.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 31, 2017 12:09 AM (tHwdc)

529 The Crying Game; Terrorist gets the hots for a dead soldier's lover, never bothers to check for the Adam's Apple

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:10 AM (AOrEZ)

530 Outlaw Josie Wales

A war criminal seduces a brain damaged young girl, and pays off her folks by getting them a farm.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 31, 2017 12:10 AM (CPk08)

531 Children on a tour experience a series of horrific accidents.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 31, 2017 12:10 AM (IcT7t)

532 Elderly black man coveys folk tales of wisdom to white children, is banned from the theaters.

Posted by: Song of the South at March 31, 2017 12:10 AM (ZO497)

533 Rogue planet illuminates Kirsten Dunst's cans.

Posted by: Melancholia at March 31, 2017 12:10 AM (SI21n)

534 >> I remember the military academy one!

"By Dawn's Early Light". McGoohan won an Emmy for that one.

In the 2nd 70s one, he played a CIA agent who kills a fellow operator, played by Leslie Nielsen. After Leslie Nielsen got in to the slapstick, I cannot watch any of his straight roles without laughing. I see Lt. Drebin in everything. Even the old "Forbidden Planet", I'm laughing my ass off at him.

They say he always a cut-up, being an expert fart joker.

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 31, 2017 12:10 AM (aKqWT)

535 Time for the old folk.B'day party for oldest daughter tomorrow, I got cooking chores.


Remember, y'all, we are Americans, so you hold that head HIGH.

You live in the most exceptional country on the planet, populated by an extraordinary people.

Never EVER forget that.

Goodnite, good people. Stay safe.

Posted by: irongrampa at March 31, 2017 12:11 AM (X35Yt)

536 Super spy engages in high roller lifestyle which completely blows his cover. Bangs a lot of women. Kills a lot of people because he has a license to.

Posted by: James Bond at March 31, 2017 12:11 AM (Co0D0)

537 I was posting in the wrong thread.

No, occifer, I haven't been drinking.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 12:11 AM (6gk0M)

538 Group of people with super powers and deep psychological problems band together to save of all places New York City from ugly aliens and worms. Best of all triggers seemingly endless cycle of sameness. Eat at a shawarma.

Posted by: Morigu at March 31, 2017 12:11 AM (x6Ax6)

539 Isolated village island suckers virgin cop to investigate ritualistic killings

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 12:11 AM (7dpmG)

540 G'Night, Irongrampa!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 12:12 AM (6gk0M)

541

Aging actor fails to score alien pelt, but finds toupee.

- ST-III The Search for Spock

Posted by: Arbalest at March 31, 2017 12:12 AM (FlRtG)

542 2 young kids who can't follow a few simple safety rules because their Dad is a jerk end up reigniting a worldwide health crises.

Posted by: 28 Days Later at March 31, 2017 12:12 AM (JO9+V)

543 If we're talking about the same one, that was a couple or three weeks ago. MeTV on Sunday nights, 8PM. They switched that hour to the new 90s ones in Jan.

The great Patrick McGoohan was the murderer, one of his 4 stints. Two in the '70s, two in the 90s, and he directed quite a few as well as playing in them. He and Falk were good friends.

Anyway, it's more the Karl Rove kills. There was a '70s one were the candidate kills the Karl Rove type. Heck, they could've ran that one on whatever station you were watching.

But this one, with McGoohan was good (I love his voice). A presidential candidate picks a California congresscriter as his running mate. McGoohan is the Karl Rove for that critter, who is an asshole. He affects a friendly persona, but the asshole quickly comes out, which Columbo quickly pulls out, of course.

Years ago, the critter was working in a local prosecutor's office, and McGoohan gets him to accidentally lose some evidence for some racketeer McGoohan is lawyering for.

He's indicted again, and tries to blackmail McGoohan into fixing things again somehow by threatening to expose what they did years ago.
Posted by: publius




well, the one I was referring to is called Candidate for a Crime. the main character / murderer is Jackie Cooper.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 31, 2017 12:13 AM (cPsPa)

544 Three men look for hidden gold during the civil war.
... and end up in Spain.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 31, 2017 12:14 AM (nlbfN)

545 A young girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk. - Rochelle, Rochelle

Someone had to do it.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 31, 2017 12:14 AM (ZO497)

546 Children spawn an adventure for lost treasure; Scary Retard helps.

BABY RUTH!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 12:14 AM (6gk0M)

547 Man with mommy issues is unsuccessful at running a hotel.

Posted by: Psycho at March 31, 2017 12:14 AM (Co0D0)

548 The Fantastic Voyage:

Racquel Welch has nice tits and looks great in a catsuit.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 31, 2017 12:15 AM (CPk08)

549 Femme fatale manipulates and exploits her would be lover before abandoning him to his death on the Empire State Building.

- King Kong
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks


Femme fatale manipulates widower from another part of the country into meeting her on the Empire State Building

-Sleepless in Seattle

See, it's a lot like "King Kong".

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at March 31, 2017 12:16 AM (S6Pax)

550 qdpsteve, the main problem I have with Stephen King is his novels have a great buildup for 250 pages, then he dumps an unsatisfying one-paragraph ending on the reader. I hate the way King ends most of his books. But I guess that can be said of a lot of writers: All foreplay and no climax.

Posted by: RickZ at March 31, 2017 12:16 AM (hkdnQ)

551 Broad has fake orgasm in deli; Men and Women can't Be Friends.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 12:16 AM (6gk0M)

552 28 Days Later should have been me. Oops!

Posted by: 28 Weeks Later at March 31, 2017 12:16 AM (JO9+V)

553 Heroic Sherriff fights against Ruffians while trying to maintain Law and Order.

Posted by: Robin Hood at March 31, 2017 12:17 AM (NgKpN)

554 King Kong: African killed by authorities for attraction to white woman.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 31, 2017 12:17 AM (nlbfN)

555 Sexually-tinged encounters in underground garage lead to the fall of an American president.

Posted by: All the President's Men at March 31, 2017 12:17 AM (dEnig)

556 Group of soldiers are captured in Korea. One likes a deck of cards. Kills girlfriend and eventually his overbearing commie mother. Frank doesn't sing.

Posted by: Morigu at March 31, 2017 12:17 AM (x6Ax6)

557 >> is called Candidate for a Crime

That was the '70s.

The one with McGoohan in 1990 was "Agenda for Murder".

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 31, 2017 12:17 AM (aKqWT)

558 Sidebar: progs are beside themselves with euphoria over the flynn "offer" (and that's all it is, if it even is). there are currently 11,014 comments in a megathread on Reddit and let me just summarize their delusional glee for you:

"This is the end of Trump, the beginning of freeing America from the grip of Russian control."


Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 31, 2017 12:18 AM (TixTl)

559 Three Men look after a Baby.

I'm sorry. There's nowhere to go with that piece of shit.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 12:18 AM (6gk0M)

560 Amadeus; Music composer writes lots of operas yet still doesn't realize a jealous Italian is trying to kill him

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:18 AM (AOrEZ)

561 The Green Lantern decides to change the color of his suit to red. Bang Morena Baccarin. Swear a lot. Kill a bunch of folks, and a guy named Francis. And earn himself a sequel.

Posted by: Deadpool at March 31, 2017 12:18 AM (Co0D0)

562 The Stand buildup was much more than 250 pgs

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 12:19 AM (7dpmG)

563 Man explores the duality of his intersectional existence with surprising results.

Posted by: Little Big Man at March 31, 2017 12:19 AM (JO9+V)

564 RickZ, that's how I felt about the miniseries of "The Stand."

I saw the ending and went, "uh, whut?" It ends with (spoiler alert) God just picking up a nuke and dropping it on the bad guys? Really? All that build up, just for a deus ex machina that any 10-year-old could have come up with? Really?????

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 31, 2017 12:19 AM (qazQh)

565 Government triggers ecological disaster; plucky citizens clean up mess.

Posted by: Ghostbusters at March 31, 2017 12:19 AM (dEnig)

566 Zany Brit adventurers bury leaky tin cans, eat dogs and ponies, find coal at last. --Scott of The Antarctic

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 31, 2017 12:19 AM (H5rtT)

567 A Tale of Two Cities:

A depressed man commits suicide by cop.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 31, 2017 12:20 AM (CPk08)

568 New York lawyer fights for civil rights in the Deep South.

Posted by: My Cousin Vinnie at March 31, 2017 12:20 AM (dEnig)

569 "This is the end of Trump, the beginning of freeing America from the grip of Russian control."

Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup


Someday soon, they are all going to wake up with very big hangover.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at March 31, 2017 12:20 AM (S6Pax)

570 Man dies in bed talking to his sled.

Posted by: Rosebud at March 31, 2017 12:20 AM (IqV8l)

571 The backwards explanation of the plot of Zardoz:

??????????

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 31, 2017 12:20 AM (qazQh)

572 Lonely deformed man just wants to keep those damn decadent kids off his lawn...with a machete!

Posted by: Friday the 13th at March 31, 2017 12:20 AM (E/ibL)

573 Dutch ballet dancer goes AWOL, whips everyone's ass, fucks pretty reporter, fights final fight against guy in real life that could kill him in 15 seconds, blind. Wind. The end.

Posted by: Bloodsport at March 31, 2017 12:20 AM (89T5c)

574 "Amadeus; Music composer writes lots of operas yet still doesn't realize a jealous Italian is trying to kill him."
-Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:18 AM (AOrEZ)

*HAH!* ...dies of Syphilis.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 12:21 AM (6gk0M)

575 The Scarlet Pimpernel:

A foreign spy helps traitors avoid the police.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 31, 2017 12:21 AM (CPk08)

576 Holy shit! Just had a thunderclap that shook the house. Doggy trying to get into my lap.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 31, 2017 12:21 AM (ZO497)

577 Illegal immigrant triggers civil war in Mexican town.

Posted by: A Fistful of Dollars at March 31, 2017 12:21 AM (dEnig)

578 Uh, oh brown-out coming on

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 31, 2017 12:23 AM (ZO497)

579 The Great Escape; Hogans Heroes; Before the Laughter

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:23 AM (AOrEZ)

580 The penis turns out to be good.

Posted by: Zardoz at March 31, 2017 12:23 AM (SI21n)

581 Uh, oh brown-out coming on
I hope that's not a reference to your dog's actions, Mike!

Posted by: andycanuck at March 31, 2017 12:24 AM (nlbfN)

582 A Mason takes a wife in a foreign land, complications arise during the wedding ceremony.

Posted by: The Man Who Would Be King at March 31, 2017 12:24 AM (JO9+V)

583 Mars Attacks:

Teenager and his addled grandmother annoy distinguished visitors by playing loud rap music.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 31, 2017 12:24 AM (WDdjT)

584 Rapacious Earthlings commit genocide and enslave insect society.

Posted by: Starship Troopers at March 31, 2017 12:24 AM (dEnig)

585 Mel Gibson tries to get an old partner to repay him $70K. Breaks toes in the process. Lives happily ever after with hooker and a dog.

Posted by: Payback at March 31, 2017 12:24 AM (Co0D0)

586 Serious ? From which crime does Flynn need immunity? I am not getting it.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 12:24 AM (7dpmG)

587
Interstellar entrepreneur convinces trogladytes to mine gold and determines that their favourite food is rat.

Posted by: otho at March 31, 2017 12:24 AM (lmIoG)

588 Mentor exploits his protege's physical disability to make money. Also plies his underage charge with alcohol.

Posted by: Dumbo at March 31, 2017 12:25 AM (TDJsa)

589 A lot of dancing faggots thing you've come from the wrong side of town. And they'll dance at you to prove it.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 12:25 AM (6gk0M)

590 *think*, even.

Damnit!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 12:26 AM (6gk0M)

591 To Sir With Love

Engineer poses as a teacher, but can only gain control of the class by repeatedly punching a student. Decides that he enjoys it, and does not return to engineering.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 31, 2017 12:26 AM (CPk08)

592 Turns out that this is not a porno.

Posted by: 13 Going on 30 at March 31, 2017 12:27 AM (SI21n)

593 Parent less teenagers are given great power - use it irresponsibly and destroy their city several times over, to the ripped-off footage of a Japanese TV show.

Posted by: Power Rangers at March 31, 2017 12:27 AM (E/ibL)

594 Evening all.

Posted by: Country Boy at March 31, 2017 12:27 AM (D2vc1)

595 Haven't read all the comments. but have read back quite a ways from the bottom.

So, excuse me if this has been done.

Two drug-dealing hippies bike around the country to a great sound track, then die.

(Which is how it felt in theaters in the original run. Girlfriend and I were underwhelmed.)

Posted by: mindful webworker - at 24fps at March 31, 2017 12:27 AM (2El4P)

596 Australian brings knife to America.

Posted by: Crocodile Dundee at March 31, 2017 12:27 AM (dEnig)

597 Duel; Wimpy guy finds out his compact car can't even outrun a beat up old tractor trailer

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:27 AM (AOrEZ)

598 McGoohan played Longshanks in "Braveheart", of course, if you remember, who defenestrated his poor gay son's lover.

After that abomination of the Supreme Court O-care ruling, there was a meme made using a scene of McGoohan as Longshanks. It was of him on the horse on the battlefield, saying to a lackey, "I had to double Kennedy's lands in Scotland and match them England. Roberts turned for far less."

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 31, 2017 12:27 AM (aKqWT)

599 586 Serious ? From which crime does Flynn need immunity? I am not getting it.
Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 12:24 AM (7dpmG)

Yeah..... because there is no such thing as a Perjury Trap....

Posted by: Scooter Libby at March 31, 2017 12:28 AM (NgKpN)

600 Serious ? From which crime does Flynn need immunity? I am not getting it.

Smells like fake news.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 31, 2017 12:28 AM (IcT7t)

601 This is a porno.

Posted by: When Harry Ate Sally at March 31, 2017 12:28 AM (89T5c)

602 Night folks

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at March 31, 2017 12:29 AM (CPk08)

603 Boat sinks, causing old lady to throw valuable necklace into ocean.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 31, 2017 12:29 AM (JZdsf)

604 Years after being at the center of mayhem, death, and destruction of a historical building in Washington, D.C., a buddy duo repeat their exploits on a bigger scale in London.

Posted by: London Has Fallen at March 31, 2017 12:30 AM (JO9+V)

605 Singin' In The Rain: Ruthless group of actors conspire with studio to end a star's career.

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at March 31, 2017 12:30 AM (FtrY1)

606 Alien loves hunting muscle-bound men in the rainforest - nukes the jungle after a mud-wrestling match goes horribly wrong.

Posted by: Predator at March 31, 2017 12:31 AM (E/ibL)

607 Wolverine is a computer hacker; gets to see Halle Berry's tits.

Posted by: Swordfish at March 31, 2017 12:31 AM (TDJsa)

608 The story of a gasoline crises....

Posted by: The Battle of the Bulge at March 31, 2017 12:31 AM (NgKpN)

609 American Graffiti; Northern California teens drive up and down the same street because there isn't a whole lot else to do on a Saturday night

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:31 AM (AOrEZ)

610 Hebrew prince has a roofing mishap, suffers consequences, meets his King.

11 Oscars, bitchez. And it was a remake.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 31, 2017 12:33 AM (H5rtT)

611 Not watched by Rolling Stone.

Posted by: Shattered Glass at March 31, 2017 12:33 AM (SI21n)

612 609 American Graffiti; Northern California teens drive up and down the same street because there isn't a whole lot else to do on a Saturday night
Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:31 AM (AOrEZ)

As the story was in Modesto CA... that is very accurate...

Should I mention I used to cruise there? LOL

Posted by: Don Q. at March 31, 2017 12:33 AM (NgKpN)

613 A baseball team of misfits conspire to see team owner naked.

Posted by: Major League at March 31, 2017 12:35 AM (JO9+V)

614 American Graffiti; Northern California teens drive up and down the same street because there isn't a whole lot else to do on a Saturday night


Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 12:31 AM (AOrEZ)


But damn they did it in style.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at March 31, 2017 12:35 AM (aMlLZ)

615 Morning all.

Posted by: Tickled Pink at March 31, 2017 12:35 AM (smD62)

616 Aging jock bangs his college professor

Posted by: Necessary Roughness at March 31, 2017 12:36 AM (JO9+V)

617 Vietnam Vet goes back to Vietnam for the most bloodiest reunion yet; John learns that he's not expendable.

Posted by: Rambo at March 31, 2017 12:38 AM (E/ibL)

618 Lol, CNN has that idiot redhead as a panelist now.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 12:40 AM (7dpmG)

619 Undersized kid pesters coach to let him suit up and play Div I football; kid is so obnoxious that coach leaves, new coach is not impressed.

Posted by: Rudy at March 31, 2017 12:41 AM (JO9+V)

620 Child murderer is manipulated into speciocide: Ender's Game.

Posted by: TheOtherJay at March 31, 2017 12:42 AM (Yjw5e)

621
Sidebar: progs are beside themselves with euphoria over the flynn
"offer" (and that's all it is, if it even is). there are currently
11,014 comments in a megathread on Reddit and let me just summarize
their delusional glee for you:



"This is the end of Trump, the beginning of freeing America from the grip of Russian control."





Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 31, 2017 12:18 AM (TixTl)

It is pretty clear that the email leaks came from Wikileaks and did NOT originate or pass through the Russians.


That being said, I don't care who leaked the emails they did not alter them or make anything up. I am grateful to them because the information in those emails should have been public knowledge anyway.

Posted by: redbanzai at March 31, 2017 12:43 AM (FTXAT)

622 #609: One of the Beach Boys' biggest hits actually went into detail about how boring that ultimately is.

"I'm gettin' tired of driving up and down the same old strip,
I've gotta find a place to go where the kids are hip."

Yes, I'm talking about I Get Around...

https://youtu.be/xYc4DT18EJg

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at March 31, 2017 12:44 AM (0OG8D)

623 Dictator and henchmen lead country into war.

Posted by: Duck Soup at March 31, 2017 12:44 AM (dEnig)

624 Is it too soon to propose to Colorado Alex? He's my ageish, and he's probably not a weirdo, and that's good enough for me at this point

Posted by: Tickled Pink at March 31, 2017 12:44 AM (smD62)

625 #624: He's an awesome guy! Go for it; you could definitely do far, far worse.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at March 31, 2017 12:46 AM (0OG8D)

626 the main problem I have with Stephen King is his
novels have a great buildup for 250 pages, then he dumps an unsatisfying
one-paragraph ending on the reader. I hate the way King ends most of
his books. But I guess that can be said of a lot of writers: All
foreplay and no climax.

Posted by: RickZ at March 31, 2017 12:16 AM (hkdnQ)

^^THIS.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 31, 2017 12:47 AM (8iiMU)

627 Menage a trois between aging baseball player, his protege, and a groupie.

Posted by: Bull Durham at March 31, 2017 12:47 AM (dEnig)

628 Government schemes with transportation industry against small town.

Posted by: Blazing Saddles at March 31, 2017 12:49 AM (dEnig)

629 Unruly kids destroy local bar

- Porky's

Posted by: Rick in SK at March 31, 2017 12:49 AM (K2T58)

630 My favorite grammar error from a twit I can't find but it was this:

I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.

LOL! Then vs than. Big difference

Posted by: keena at March 31, 2017 12:49 AM (RiTnx)

631 A guy from the Roman hood gets into street racing, learns about spinner hubcaps.

Posted by: Ben Hur at March 31, 2017 12:51 AM (ZO497)

632 >>>I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.



LOL! Then vs than. Big difference

Posted by: keena at March 31, 2017 12:49 AM (RiTnx)<<<

Word.

Posted by: R. Kelly's date at March 31, 2017 12:51 AM (Co0D0)

633 Gun nut terrorizes Mexicans

- Desperado

Posted by: Rick in SK at March 31, 2017 12:51 AM (K2T58)

634 King is also too wordy by half.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 12:51 AM (7dpmG)

635 #626: I'd put Robert Heinlein in that same category. However, King is worse, because he'll pull that shit in chapter after chapter after chapter of a 1000+ page novel.

He'll introduce a character in chapter 23, and spend seventeen pages telling you all about this guy's life in excruciating detail. Then you flip to the eighteenth page and, oh, now he's dead. Yo, Steve... I didn't need to know that this asshole was molested by his uncle at the age of seven if he was just here to show us how the monster works!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at March 31, 2017 12:51 AM (0OG8D)

636 A light-sensitive illegal immigrant stalks women.


Posted by: Nosferatu at March 31, 2017 12:51 AM (8iiMU)

637 The horrid story of how an Evil Professor, keeps some poor people trapped on an island... saying he can't figure out a way for them to get off...

Posted by: Gilligans Island at March 31, 2017 12:51 AM (NgKpN)

638 I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.

The advertising slogan for the Castro Street Fair.

Posted by: RickZ at March 31, 2017 12:52 AM (hkdnQ)

639 Muslim assists in Scandi slaughter

- The 13th Warrior

Posted by: Rick in SK at March 31, 2017 12:53 AM (K2T58)

640 Couple adopts dog from the pound, discovers that he hasn't had his shots.

Posted by: Cudjo at March 31, 2017 12:53 AM (ZO497)

641 A veteran Navy Lt Commander has to deal with insubordination, incompetence, theft and disloyalty from his officers and crew while he attempting to complete his ship's missions.

Posted by: The Caine Mutiny at March 31, 2017 12:54 AM (JO9+V)

642 Young girl seeks older man for romantic walks on the beach.


Posted by: Lolita at March 31, 2017 12:55 AM (8iiMU)

643 641 A veteran Navy Lt Commander has to deal with insubordination, incompetence, theft and disloyalty from his officers and crew while he attempting to complete his ship's missions.
Posted by: The Caine Mutiny at March 31, 2017 12:54 AM (JO9+V)

or McHale's Navy... take yer pick...

Posted by: Gilligans Island at March 31, 2017 12:55 AM (NgKpN)

644 Two brothers overcompensate for beating at hands of sadistic nun.

Posted by: Blues Brothers at March 31, 2017 12:56 AM (WDdjT)

645 A young man discovers role playing is not for him.

Silent Night, Deadly Night

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 31, 2017 12:57 AM (IcT7t)

646 Goodnight all, thanks for the chat tonight. Happy Friday!

Posted by: qdpsteve at March 31, 2017 12:57 AM (qazQh)

647 Good old boy scientologist excels at turning left

- Days of Thunder

Posted by: Rick in SK at March 31, 2017 12:58 AM (K2T58)

648 632 >>>I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.



LOL! Then vs than. Big difference

Posted by: keena at March 31, 2017 12:49 AM (RiTnx)

Word.
Posted by: R. Kelly's date at March 31, 2017 12:51 AM (Co0D0)

Posted by: keena at March 31, 2017 12:58 AM (RiTnx)

649 Teenagers discover joy of beach parties and skinny-dipping.

Posted by: Jaws at March 31, 2017 12:59 AM (ZO497)

650 Word.
Posted by: R. Kelly's date at March 31, 2017 12:51 AM (Co0D0)

Girl!

Posted by: Kim kardashian at March 31, 2017 01:00 AM (RiTnx)

651 Why is the Senate not going to be "distracted" by the leaks angle?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 01:00 AM (7dpmG)

652 Exceedingly tall, round-eyed mutant rises to prominence in Mongol history.

Posted by: Genghis Khan at March 31, 2017 01:00 AM (WDdjT)

653 Will no one rid me of this troublesome Murkowski?

Scrunt. She makes more off the teachers unions and Planned Barrenhood than Croesus.

Scrunt.

I said that twice. She's still a scrunt.

Posted by: tcn in AK at March 31, 2017 01:01 AM (cm1Bl)

654 Local bar owner tries to prevent the new sheriff from screwing up his business. Can he do it without using profanity?


Posted by: Deadwood at March 31, 2017 01:02 AM (8iiMU)

655 Apocalypse Now: burnt-out killer and 4 unwitting accomplices travel a long distance to commit the cold-blooded murder of a Green Beret officer.

Posted by: Zombie Ronald Reagan, you're our only hope! at March 31, 2017 01:02 AM (YHjWR)

656 Man facing identity crisis sets up secret support group. Group engages in arts and crafts projects, such as soap making.

Posted by: Fight Club at March 31, 2017 01:03 AM (Co0D0)

657 The Caine Mutiny:

Humphrey Bogart plays a WWII destroyer captain known for his balls of solid steel.

Posted by: Joseph Porter at March 31, 2017 01:03 AM (En1DN)

658 Skimpy fur bikini clings with disappointing tenacity to Racquel Welch's boobies.

Posted by: One Million Years BC at March 31, 2017 01:03 AM (WDdjT)

659 The Sting; Chicago con artists swindle an Irish immigrant

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:03 AM (AOrEZ)

660 I could sit up all night reading this thread.

Oh, wait, no I can't.

Funds missing at small S&L cause owner to threaten his uncle, get drunk, wreck car, and have bizarre hallucinations, that include people throwing money at him.

Gooooooood night, band of Hordelings.

Posted by: mindful webworker - by the end of the day at March 31, 2017 01:04 AM (2El4P)

661 Teenagers are thwarted from having sex by an aspiring hockey goalkeeper.


Posted by: Halloween at March 31, 2017 01:05 AM (8iiMU)

662 Single mother uses her assets to battle evil

- Striptease

Posted by: Rick in SK at March 31, 2017 01:06 AM (K2T58)

663 Close Encounters of the Third Kind; Indiana power company inspector loses his job and becomes fascinated with mashed potato sculptures

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:06 AM (AOrEZ)

664 Wow, you guys are on fire tonight.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 31, 2017 01:07 AM (vbvxt)

665 Now?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 31, 2017 01:07 AM (vbvxt)

666 Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman--masquerade, orgy and some cult stuff. aka Scientology with the Sexy!

Posted by: Eyes Wide Shut at March 31, 2017 01:07 AM (fi5nC)

667 Executive revolts against boss, fired, causes trouble for everyone.

Posted by: mindful webworker - just one more at March 31, 2017 01:07 AM (2El4P)

668 Now!

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 31, 2017 01:07 AM (vbvxt)

669 dammit

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 31, 2017 01:08 AM (vbvxt)

670 Asshole prodigy bartender/race car driver/USAF pilot gets redemption in last act.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 01:08 AM (7dpmG)

671 Well, I was thisclose.

Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman are probably a better fit for #666 anyway.

Goooooodnite again.

Posted by: mindful webworker - dang! at March 31, 2017 01:09 AM (2El4P)

672 tcn: Why is she so popular in AK?

On another note. I'm not a Muslim or a conservative but I'm extremely happy that my husband also doesn't go to dinner w a woman alone. ( I don't care about him and friends going out w ETOH w/out me though).
But on a truly astute politic note: what do you think the media would do w a pic of Pence and another lone chick at dinner?
This is not fundamentalism, the guy knows what the media does and will not throw red meat.

Sorry for politics on ONT but west coast is just catching up here so I post when many sleep....

Posted by: Kim kardashian at March 31, 2017 01:09 AM (RiTnx)

673 Annoying bimbo reporterette interferes with the safe operation of a nuclear power plant.

Posted by: The China Syndrome at March 31, 2017 01:09 AM (JO9+V)

674 A loveable young scamp sets out on a journey of self-discovery, against the objections of all the local right-wing Christians.

Posted by: The Omen at March 31, 2017 01:10 AM (0OG8D)

675 Mad Max: Homicidal police officer hunts down and murders the members of a motorcycle club after a series of tragic events.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 31, 2017 01:10 AM (vbvxt)

676 Guidance counselor helps students make tough choices

- Wild Things

Posted by: Rick in SK at March 31, 2017 01:10 AM (K2T58)

677 Eyes Wide Shut is very underrated

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 01:10 AM (7dpmG)

678 A desert, and two wandering old farts.

Posted by: Ishtar! at March 31, 2017 01:11 AM (fi5nC)

679 Two young men set out on the road for a good time, only to discover that they are both irresponsible assholes.

Posted by: Easy Rider at March 31, 2017 01:11 AM (ZO497)

680 Asshole prodigy bartender/race car driver/USAF pilot gets redemption in last act.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 01:08 AM (7dpmG)



Yeah, USAF, that's the ticket...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 31, 2017 01:12 AM (vbvxt)

681 A scrappy trio of brothers help an aging player-coach beat the odds (but mostly other players) on their way to winning a hockey championship.

Posted by: Slap Shot at March 31, 2017 01:12 AM (Co0D0)

682 Easy Rider; Free lance pharmacists decide to take a motorcycle vacation to Mardi Gras

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:12 AM (AOrEZ)

683 Grumpy Old Men: Two pathetic old geezers fight over a woman.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 31, 2017 01:13 AM (vbvxt)

684 Trio of adventurers are kidnapped by eccentric submariner, and discover vast world of sub-rosa submarine sports betting.

Posted by: O20,000 Leagues Under The Sea at March 31, 2017 01:13 AM (WDdjT)

685 Alpha male discovers his lineage is from maniacs.

Posted by: Planet of the Apes at March 31, 2017 01:14 AM (JO9+V)

686 An asshole British officer works his subordinates to the point of death to build a bridge, then decides to give them a big fuck you by blowing it up. Then they all start whistling.




Posted by: Bridge on the River Kwai at March 31, 2017 01:15 AM (8iiMU)

687 Same alpha male, joined by a colleague, make a momentous decision in their final moments

Posted by: Beneath the Planet of the Apes at March 31, 2017 01:16 AM (JO9+V)

688 Hunt for Red October; Dissident Russian submarine commander is upset that advanced technology is being used to influence world politics

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:16 AM (AOrEZ)

689 A family of four struggles with their new home's unexpected structural issues.

Posted by: Poltergeist at March 31, 2017 01:16 AM (0OG8D)

690 Diabolical super-villain captures secret agent sent to destroy him, boastfully lays out all his plans, and then inexplicably allows secret agent to escape and thwart his schemes.

Posted by: Every James Bond movie, ever at March 31, 2017 01:18 AM (WDdjT)

691 Girl pops out of cake on the most famous battleship of all time

- Under Siege

Posted by: Rick in SK at March 31, 2017 01:18 AM (K2T58)

692 Sleeping With The Enemy; Housewife fakes her own death to get away from an obsessive neatness freak. Who wouldn't

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:19 AM (AOrEZ)

693 Oh wow, someone follows @Clarkhat.

(And if you don't, you should *laugh*)

Posted by: Jabari at March 31, 2017 01:19 AM (6Ni4n)

694 Destroyer captain and U-Boat captain play cat-and-mouse games; after a collision at sea they work together to save lives.

Posted by: The Enemy Below at March 31, 2017 01:19 AM (JO9+V)

695 Two men eschew screwing sheep and decide to be fishing buddies.


Posted by: Brokeback Mountain at March 31, 2017 01:21 AM (8iiMU)

696 Leadership theorist takes up team-building challenge, can't feel his arm.

12 O'Clock High

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 31, 2017 01:21 AM (H5rtT)

697 It is kind of amazing that CNN won't scroll their chryon, but every source says this is not an immunity offer, according to Flynn's lawyers.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 01:21 AM (7dpmG)

698 I took a drive, heard some tunes and I'm none the better for it.

*Blames it on the Rain*

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:21 AM (6gk0M)

699 Patton; Old man finds his greatest joy in invading foreign countries

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:22 AM (AOrEZ)

700 Michelle Johnson shows off her fabulous tits

Posted by: Blame It On Rio at March 31, 2017 01:24 AM (JO9+V)

701 What's Love Got to Do With It; Rock and Roll band leader reminds the lead singer who is also his wife that those sammiches won't make themselves

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:25 AM (AOrEZ)

702 After theorizing about the people following them, two men go to Bolivia and are hassled by local law enforcement.




Posted by: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid at March 31, 2017 01:25 AM (8iiMU)

703 Sailors, driven mad by sight of Polynesian titties, sabotage scientific mission undertaken by British Navy.

Posted by: Mutiny on the Bounty at March 31, 2017 01:25 AM (WDdjT)

704 Undocumented migrant must deal with institutional racism just to live from day to day while raising a family.

Posted by: Alien at March 31, 2017 01:26 AM (0OG8D)

705 A barely literate moron gets his ass beat.


Posted by: Rocky at March 31, 2017 01:27 AM (8iiMU)

706 John has a Long Moustache and The Chair is Against the Wall when seven teens take-on Communism in this unlikely adventure.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:27 AM (6gk0M)

707 I literally can't even!

Posted by: Plan 9 From Outer Space at March 31, 2017 01:28 AM (JO9+V)

708 Blame It on the Boogie

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 01:29 AM (7dpmG)

709 "Michelle Johnson shows off her fabulous tits."
-Posted by: Blame It On Rio at March 31, 2017 01:24 AM (JO9+V)

Was that her name? Because I punished my dick like it it was responsible for WWII to that flick.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:30 AM (6gk0M)

710 705
A barely literate moron gets his ass beat.




Posted by: Rocky at March 31, 2017 01:27 AM (8iiMU)
Ooops, that's not misleading.
A barely literate moron follows an old man's unconventional physical fitness program, with disastrous results.

Posted by: Rocky at March 31, 2017 01:30 AM (8iiMU)

711 683 Grumpy Old Men: Two pathetic old geezers fight over a woman.
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 31, 2017 01:13 AM (vbvxt)
***

Ann Margaret was worth fight over. Even at that age.

Posted by: The name... is Dalton at March 31, 2017 01:30 AM (/20hv)

712 Somebody attempts to put Baby in a corner. Patrick Swayze objects.

Posted by: Dirty Dancing at March 31, 2017 01:30 AM (0OG8D)

713 When I got through, my lap looked like a Hate-Crime.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:31 AM (6gk0M)

714 The Professional: After her whole family is killed, a precocious pubescent girl romances an assassin into teaching her the trade.

Posted by: SciVo at March 31, 2017 01:31 AM (1xpdK)

715 Intelligent, resourceful black man has to deal with stupid white people during a crisis, a racist redneck posse is sent out to hunt him down.

Posted by: Night of the Living Dead at March 31, 2017 01:31 AM (JO9+V)

716 Failing to watch and heed the lessons of this movie cost Ted Kennedy his chance to be President.

Posted by: Castle Keep at March 31, 2017 01:31 AM (WDdjT)

717 Man walks barefoot through broken glass to kill Germans.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:33 AM (6gk0M)

718 Man consumes lethal doses of Iocaine Powder, just to outsmart a Lisping College Professor.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:35 AM (6gk0M)

719 Falling Down; Bitter white male can't deal with the changes that forward thinking progressives have brought to Los Angeles

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:35 AM (AOrEZ)

720 Future traitor makes extensive use of her talents (left and right, both) in what may be the finest example of her Hollywood career.

Posted by: Barbarella at March 31, 2017 01:35 AM (WDdjT)

721 Serenity: A group of space-bound renegades disrupt government attempts to maintain state security.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 31, 2017 01:35 AM (vbvxt)

722 A lost couple, their daughter, and dog stop to ask for directions. Torgo lends them a hand at the house while his master is away. When his master returns, Torgo lends another hand and the master takes the couple into his care. The all live happily ever after

Posted by: Manos: The Hands of Fate at March 31, 2017 01:36 AM (Co0D0)

723 Man walks barefoot through broken glass to kill Germans.
Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:33 AM (6gk0M)


Cop goes on rampage during hostage crisis, kills German immigrants.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at March 31, 2017 01:37 AM (Tnhbr)

724 Intelligent, resourceful black man has to deal with
stupid white people during a crisis, a racist redneck posse is sent out
to hunt him down.


Posted by: Night of the Living Dead at March 31, 2017 01:31 AM (JO9+V)


LOL, that could also be Blazing Saddles.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 31, 2017 01:37 AM (vbvxt)

725
715 Maybe Blazing Saddles? Frozen sock?

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at March 31, 2017 01:38 AM (FtrY1)

726 Devoted divorced father has zany adventures on his way to visit his daughter on her birthday.

Posted by: Falling Down at March 31, 2017 01:38 AM (JO9+V)

727 Whoopi Goldberg seduces a beautiful young widow by pretending to be her dead husband.

Posted by: Ghost at March 31, 2017 01:38 AM (0OG8D)

728 Kirsten Powers is parsing just as bad as the rest of CNN. This is very Clintonian.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 01:38 AM (7dpmG)

729 Hideous creature emerges from swamp to ogle Adrienne Barbeau's boobies, which is entirely understandable.

Posted by: Swamp Thing at March 31, 2017 01:39 AM (WDdjT)

730 Anyone?

Bueller?

By the way, where did Ferris Bueller get the money for that One-Day Rampage?

Dude never even showed a credit card.

...for the "Sausage King of Chicago", he didn't flash much cash.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:39 AM (6gk0M)

731 The little girl & the "robot" up top is simply adorable.
I miss having little ones around me...

Posted by: The name... is Dalton at March 31, 2017 01:40 AM (/20hv)

732 #723: Unstable cop goes on a Christmas rampage against what may be Santa Claus and his eight reindeer.

Posted by: Ghost at March 31, 2017 01:40 AM (0OG8D)

733 #732: Whoops, that "ghost" sock was no longer applicable.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at March 31, 2017 01:41 AM (0OG8D)

734 "Cop goes on rampage during hostage crisis, kills German immigrants."
-Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at March 31, 2017 01:37 AM (Tnhbr)

I'll buy the headline...

-The New York Times.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:42 AM (6gk0M)

735 By the way, where did Ferris Bueller get the money for that One-Day Rampage?

Dude never even showed a credit card.

...for the "Sausage King of Chicago", he didn't flash much cash.
Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:39 AM (6gk0M)


IIRC, in a deleted scene he cashes in a bond he stole from his dad.

Of course, a guy like Bueller probably a) has access to a credit card his idiot parents gave him, b) has some side scams running to make him cash, and c) knows how to sneak or fast talk his way out of paying.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at March 31, 2017 01:42 AM (Tnhbr)

736 Children of a Lesser God;

Uh toak weh uh demm will fill luck id

Posted by: Marlee Matlin at March 31, 2017 01:42 AM (AOrEZ)

737 Ummm, Mia Pond maybe?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 01:43 AM (7dpmG)

738 -Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at March 31, 2017 01:42 AM (Tnhbr)

Makes sense. They probably didn't want to make him look like a Thief.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:43 AM (6gk0M)

739 WOODSTOCK: Documentary - sex-crazed young middle-class drug addicts wallowing in mud for four days are serenaded by working class troublemakers with amplified guitars.

Posted by: jbspry at March 31, 2017 01:44 AM (IhKmM)

740 A right-wing fundamentalist imposes his Christian values on a bunch of teenagers just trying to have a little fun at a summer camp.

Posted by: Friday the 13th at March 31, 2017 01:45 AM (0OG8D)

741 War Room sees fighting, against the rules. Man rides ICBM to Glory.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:46 AM (6gk0M)

742 Can anyone tell me the name of the post from a few days ago, maybe even last week. . . Something along the lines of "we are already at war'?

Posted by: Chinaacid at March 31, 2017 01:47 AM (nLbS2)

743 I am dealing with an agent named Mia Pond. Mia Sara

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 01:47 AM (7dpmG)

744 Wealthy British eccentric and his French manservant undertake world tour. Hilarity ensues.

Posted by: Arounf The World In 80 Days at March 31, 2017 01:48 AM (WDdjT)

745 Silence of the Lambs; Psychiatrist with bizarre cuisine preferences helps FBI trainee catch a homicidal chubby chaser

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:48 AM (AOrEZ)

746 If someone already did this I apologize.

After the brutal murder of his wife an agoraphobic is forced to team up with a severe amnesiac to rescue his disabled son from an otherworldly being he can barely understand.

Posted by: Finding Nemo at March 31, 2017 01:48 AM (prmcE)

747 Old Hockey-Mask Will Not Die...

Film at Eleven.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:48 AM (6gk0M)

748 Horny teen contributes to the moral delinquency of all his school chums.

Posted by: Risky Business at March 31, 2017 01:50 AM (JO9+V)

749 It's a Mad, Mad, World; A group of Californians race butt ugly early 60s Chrysler Corp cars to San Diego on a treasure hunt

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:52 AM (AOrEZ)

750 599 586 Serious ? From which crime does Flynn need immunity? I am not getting it.
Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 12:24 AM (7dpmG)

Yeah..... because there is no such thing as a Perjury Trap....

Posted by: Scooter Libby at March 31, 2017 12:28 AM (NgKpN)



Part of his lawyer's statement:

"No reasonable person, who has the benefit of advice from counsel, would submit to questioning in such a highly politicized, witch hunt environment without assurances against unfair prosecution."

Posted by: buzzion at March 31, 2017 01:54 AM (cAnNx)

751 Two losers try to convince everyone that their boss is still alive over one weird weekend!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 01:54 AM (6gk0M)

752 FBDO Twist and Shout scene is very good. Lots of US flags and ecstatic dancing

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 01:55 AM (7dpmG)

753
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. That has to be one of the funniest movies ever made. When I first saw it, way back when I was a teenager, I think I laughed so hard I just about pissed myself.

And oh, I've got a man-crush on Mannix, which MeTV is running. Mike Connors died just recently, didn't he.....

I don't think Hollywood could create such a macho character anymore. They would die before they could such a thing.

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 31, 2017 01:56 AM (aKqWT)

754 Dirty Harry; Racist straight white male cop ignores Constitutional rights, kills misunderstood San Franciscans

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 01:57 AM (AOrEZ)

755
Ethel Merman set the standard for unbearable mothers-in-law. And she didn't even have to act, I don't think. They told her just to be herself.

Posted by: publius(not Breitbart publius) at March 31, 2017 01:57 AM (aKqWT)

756 A preacher must deal with his past when his peaceful religious community is upended by a boy he once orphaned, now a grown man bent on revenge.

Posted by: Conan the Barbarian at March 31, 2017 01:59 AM (0OG8D)

757 An abused lonely orphan is drawn into a world that seems wonderful and magical at first glance, but contains dark and disturbing undercurrents. He ultimately discovers that a master manipulator is going to sacrifice his life to ensure the survival of that world.

Posted by: Harry Potter at March 31, 2017 02:00 AM (prmcE)

758 Is landing a house on someone really meeting them, I ask you sir!? - Kieth Olbermann. Yeah, no one will get that.

Posted by: Rob in Katy at March 31, 2017 02:00 AM (os0Ma)

759 One Man Must Dance his way out of Christianity...

Starring Kevin Bacon.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 02:02 AM (6gk0M)

760 The Perfect Storm;

North Atlantic says to the Andrea Gail, "I bitchslapped the Titanic, what made you think your rusty little bucket could beat me?"

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 02:02 AM (AOrEZ)

761 Someone above mentioned "The Thing" there's a very good short story that shows the movie from the Alien's point of view. It calls humans "The Things"

Posted by: Serena at March 31, 2017 02:04 AM (prmcE)

762 Three stars and two men fish their way through a storm. Ultimately, their fate has little to do with the shitload of fish they have in the Hold.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 02:05 AM (6gk0M)

763 A weekend trophy hunt goes horribly wrong.

Posted by: Predator at March 31, 2017 02:05 AM (prmcE)

764 Superman II; Refugees arriving in New York just want to be treated with respect

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 02:06 AM (AOrEZ)

765 Former artillery man decides to help out some old friends.

Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 31, 2017 02:06 AM (IcT7t)

766 The touching drama of a waitress's journey to single motherhood.

Posted by: The Terminator at March 31, 2017 02:07 AM (0OG8D)

767 One Man goes upriver to claim long-lost refugees....

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 02:09 AM (6gk0M)

768 I'm too tired to do this.

G'Night, Ev'ry-Buddy!

*static*

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 02:11 AM (6gk0M)

769 Aspiring NASCAR driver attempts some unconventional fund raising.

Dirty Mary Crazy Larry

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 31, 2017 02:11 AM (IcT7t)

770 Airplane! ; Shirley flies the plane

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 02:11 AM (AOrEZ)

771 Help me out. I know I once saw a movie with Robert Duvall playing a ne'er do well oil wildcatter who, against all odds, strikes a gusher.

I looked up Duvall's filmographies on IMDB, and in Wkipedia, and no mention of such a film.

And no, I am pretty sure it was not Oklahoma Crude, starring George C. Scott.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 31, 2017 02:14 AM (WDdjT)

772 A movie director sets out to show the world he has no idea what diplomatic immunity actually means, but makes up for it with Patsy Kensit's tits.

Posted by: Lethal Weapon II at March 31, 2017 02:15 AM (0OG8D)

773 The King and I; Asian leader resists attempts by a British woman to impose Western culture on his country

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 02:15 AM (AOrEZ)

774 For 20 bucks, 7 gunfighters brazenly storm into a little Mexican town and kill all the nice cartel members who are heroically defending the town.

Posted by: Morigu at March 31, 2017 02:16 AM (x6Ax6)

775 A movie director sets out to show the world he has no idea what diplomatic immunity actually means, but makes up for it with Patsy Kensit's tits.


Posted by: Lethal Weapon II at March 31, 2017 02:15 AM (0OG8D)

More like proto-titties.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at March 31, 2017 02:17 AM (aMlLZ)

776 Canine reincarnation.

A Dog's Purpose

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 31, 2017 02:19 AM (IcT7t)

777 Cocoon; Old farts break into visiting scientists swimming pool and in the process kill one of the visitors

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 02:19 AM (AOrEZ)

778 At what point did Trump recognize he was favored by Russia? What the crap?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 02:19 AM (7dpmG)

779 Stubborn New Yorkers refuse to abandon capsizing cruise ship because the captain refuses to refund their payment.

Posted by: Poseidon Adventure at March 31, 2017 02:22 AM (WDdjT)

780 Glengarry Glen Ross; Salesmen engage in contest to see who can use the word fuck the most times in one sentence in the hope of winning a Cadillac or a set of steak knives

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 02:24 AM (AOrEZ)

781 #780: Oh, that's a good one, KB!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler. Welcome to Trumpdome, bitch! at March 31, 2017 02:25 AM (0OG8D)

782 At what point did Trump recognize he was favored by Russia? What the crap?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at March 31, 2017 02:19 AM (7dpmG)

Man, that screams out for a cartoon of Putin, handling pictures of Trump and Hillaroid. Trump's picture is captioned "sane", and Hillaroid's is captioned "not sane". Putin's thought bubble reads, "so who do I want with their finger on America's nuclear button?"

Posted by: Poseidon Adventure at March 31, 2017 02:27 AM (WDdjT)

783 Cape Fear; North Carolina parolee has a dispute with his attorney over how his case was handled

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 02:28 AM (AOrEZ)

784 Off, inverted sock.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 31, 2017 02:28 AM (WDdjT)

785 "Glengarry Glen Ross; Salesmen engage in contest to see who can use the word fuck the most times in one sentence in the hope of winning a Cadillac or a set of steak knives."
-Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 02:24 AM (AOrEZ)

*HAH!* Forget the "leads". Coffee is for Closers and this wins it, hands-down.

*drops microphone*

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 02:28 AM (6gk0M)

786 *walks away, slowly*

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 02:29 AM (6gk0M)

787 Young German student explores the French countryside. Gets a new pair of boots and gets to study butterflies.

Posted by: All Quiet on the Western Front at March 31, 2017 02:30 AM (TDJsa)

788 Masked horseman disperses heavy metals into the natural environment of West Texas.

Posted by: The Lone Ranger at March 31, 2017 02:31 AM (WDdjT)

789 London photographer takes pictures of boobies and crime, but mostly boobies.

Posted by: Blow Up at March 31, 2017 02:34 AM (WDdjT)

790 Former Sandman Logan gets a healthy cardio workout while staring at Jenny Agutter's tits.

Posted by: Logan's Run at March 31, 2017 02:34 AM (TDJsa)

791 A disabled war veteran copes with his disabilities, his asshole boss and the untimely death of his wife all while trying to reconnect with his estranged son.

Posted by: Star Wars at March 31, 2017 02:35 AM (prmcE)

792 Bonnie and Clyde; Texas man joins a Missouri woman on a quest to acquire wealth

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 02:36 AM (AOrEZ)

793 Wooden puppet, brought to life by magic, gets woody in wrong organ. Hilarity ensues.

Posted by: Pinocchio at March 31, 2017 02:39 AM (WDdjT)

794 Free spirit Emperor Caligula balances his career and family life while still finding time to entertain.

Posted by: Caligula at March 31, 2017 02:41 AM (TDJsa)

795 Children of a Lesser God;

Uh toak weh uh demm will fill luck id

Posted by: Marlee Matlin at March 31, 2017 01:42 AM (AOrEZ)

Why yes God, I did laugh at that. Sorry buddy.

Posted by: Country Boy at March 31, 2017 02:41 AM (D2vc1)

796 i guess this ONT is my punishment for not wasting my time on TV and for missing just about every movie that came out the last few decades..

no great loss.

Posted by: redc1c4 at March 31, 2017 02:44 AM (S3vZP)

797 i guess this ONT is my punishment for not wasting my time on TV and for missing just about every movie that came out the last few decades..

no great loss.

Posted by: redc1c4 at March 31, 2017 02:44 AM (S3vZP)

Some of us are going back many, many decades. There's a lot of movies referenced tonight that I have never seen.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 31, 2017 02:46 AM (WDdjT)

798 G'night everyone.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 31, 2017 02:46 AM (IcT7t)

799 780 Glengarry Glen Ross; Salesmen engage in contest to see who can use the word fuck the most times in one sentence in the hope of winning a Cadillac or a set of steak knives

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2017 02:24 AM (AOrEZ)


Always
Be
Cussing

Posted by: BourbonChicken at March 31, 2017 02:47 AM (VdICR)

800 I know this is a novel not a movie, but,

Biggest, most successful prison riot in ever.

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

Posted by: Serena at March 31, 2017 02:48 AM (prmcE)

801 Two gay robots take a trip to the desert to join the spiritual quest of a young boy who is being groomed by an old man who wears a lot of robes.

Posted by: Star Wars at March 31, 2017 02:49 AM (TDJsa)

802 Powerful man murders strange loner, then murders the loner's mother when she tries to avenge her son.

Posted by: Beowulf at March 31, 2017 02:52 AM (prmcE)

803 Jane Fonda avoids being hanged the first time, setting an unfortunate precedent.

Posted by: Cat Ballou at March 31, 2017 02:52 AM (WDdjT)

804 Man meets new woman who introduces him to new culinary methods involving rabbits.

Posted by: Fatal Attraction at March 31, 2017 02:54 AM (TDJsa)

805 Episode 7: A young girl goes on a journey to discover that she is talented at every possible thing she ever attempts to do

Episode 8: She turns to the dark side, not from hate, but crushing boredom and ennui.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at March 31, 2017 02:54 AM (VdICR)

806 Famed football coach fails to deliver on contract to promote new auto line for Studebaker Corporation.

Posted by: The Knute Rockne Story at March 31, 2017 02:55 AM (WDdjT)

807 Young woman has a night of passion w a stranger. Hilarity ensues.

Posted by: It follows at March 31, 2017 03:04 AM (RiTnx)

808 Or.....maybe bloodshed

Posted by: It follows at March 31, 2017 03:05 AM (RiTnx)

809 The Star Wars Saga.

Young boy finds out his blood is abnormal. Takes five more movies to die because of it.

Posted by: Tim in Illinois at March 31, 2017 03:07 AM (d76uN)

810 Man who is looking to kick ass and chew bubblegum runs out of bubblegum.

Posted by: They Live at March 31, 2017 03:08 AM (TDJsa)

811 Young boy finds out his blood is abnormal. Takes five more movies to die because of it.

Posted by: Tim in Illinois at March 31, 2017 03:07 AM (d76uN)

LOL, Tim. I am off to bed. Hopefully loading up and getting on road home tomorrow. But there's a fuckton of things yet to be done...

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 31, 2017 03:14 AM (WDdjT)

812 I'm just going to leave this here to promote Heavy Metal:

Orson Welles speaks "Defender":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AMi-vCfAWw

When you are old enough to read these words
Their Meaning will unfold

These words are all that's left
Though we've never met, my only Son

I hope you know that I would have been there
to Watch You Grow
But my Call was heard ...and I did go.

Now Your Mission lies ahead of you
As it did mine, so Long ago.

To help the Helpless Ones, who all look-up to you

...and to Defend them

To The End

Defender...

Ride Like the Wind
Fight Proud, my Son
You're the Defender God has sent.

Father, I look-up to You!

I Heed Thy Call!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 03:15 AM (6gk0M)

813 In case you missed it, here it is again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AMi-vCfAWw

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 03:15 AM (6gk0M)

814 Please pass it on.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 03:16 AM (6gk0M)

815
Fuck. Fucking. Cocksucker.
* shots fired *
Fucker. M__fucker.
* bodies buried *
Ketchup.
* more shots fired *

Posted by: Goodfellas at March 31, 2017 03:16 AM (v1g1+)

816
Ring! Ring!
Hello, lava!
* slow dissolve *

Posted by: Lord of the Rings Trilogy at March 31, 2017 03:20 AM (v1g1+)

817 Good Morning and Good Night AOP.

Metric or Imperial? If it's a Metric, I say furgetabbowtit.

Posted by: Tim in Illinois at March 31, 2017 03:22 AM (d76uN)

818 This Letter ends my Search.
I'll Live Your Dream.
Now passed-on to me.

And I now wait
To shake the hand of Fate
Like the Dusk awaiting Dawn.

So, Wizards?
Cast your spells.

With no heart to do me well.
So It is Written, it Shall Be.

*guitar*

*Metal Fucking Guitar*

Defender.

Ride like the Wind.
You're the Defender God has sent.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 03:25 AM (6gk0M)

819
American GIs in madcap wartime heist reach accomodation with Hitler's henchmen.

Posted by: Kelly's Heroes at March 31, 2017 03:27 AM (v1g1+)

820 G'Night!

*cashes out cigarette*

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at March 31, 2017 03:29 AM (6gk0M)

821
"Good Night" all around, with rhyme and illustrations.

Posted by: Goodnight Moon at March 31, 2017 03:33 AM (v1g1+)

822 Star Wars I.

Criminal flies toiletless* spaceship to space station to kidnap girl.

*This is not important but the Falcon does seem to lack a Head.

Posted by: Tim in Illinois at March 31, 2017 03:47 AM (d76uN)

823 If its good night for everyone that must mean its time for me to get up.
Good morning horde

Posted by: Skip at March 31, 2017 03:58 AM (GPaiX)

824 Mexican citizens hire 7 Americans to go Mexico, where they live, work and kill other Mexicans.

Posted by: Skip at March 31, 2017 04:12 AM (GPaiX)

825 He said, she said, MSM said, AoS said.

Posted by: Rashomorons at March 31, 2017 04:22 AM (bc2Lc)

826 Are the forfeiture laws used to confiscate the assets of drug dealers still on the books? And if so, is it too late to go after the Kennedy family for Joe's crimes?

Posted by: Hillbilly Xirannosaurus at March 31, 2017 04:33 AM (1c7qZ)

827 Are the forfeiture laws used to confiscate the assets of drug dealers still on the books? And if so, is it too late to go after the Kennedy family for Joe's crimes?

Posted by: Hillbilly Xirannosaurus at March 31, 2017 04:33 AM (1c7qZ)

828 The dead refuse to stay dead; problems ensue.

*every zombie and ghost movie ever made*

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 31, 2017 04:47 AM (wTwJ2)

829 Residents of backwater planet oppose urban renewal plan.

Posted by: Independence Day at March 31, 2017 04:48 AM (J+mig)

830 Ghosts harass a lonely old man.

Posted by: A Christmas Carol at March 31, 2017 04:52 AM (J+mig)

831 Good dog goes bad.

Posted by: Old Yeller at March 31, 2017 04:52 AM (bc2Lc)

832 morning all.

Just wanted to throw a quick off-topic point up here before I go to work.

After Ace's post on that preparation-H logo yesterday, I see Insty had a link to something about it as well. He threw in a clip of Bill Whittle talking about Obama's stupid "O" logo (which I didn't watch), but it got me to thinking...

What's with this "branding", "logo" nonsense?

Can we have a presidential candidate stand up and say, "Here's the American Flag. That's my logo. If you don't like that, here's the official seal of the United States. Don't like that? Then shut your pie hole when the pinko filth you vote for ends up harassing you and your family to the edge of reason all in the name of 'progress'".

Posted by: Warai-otoko at March 31, 2017 05:18 AM (sK2fh)

833 G'morning, all.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 31, 2017 05:30 AM (J+eG2)

834 What is this thing called "love"?

What? Is this thing called, "Love"?

What is THIS thing called, Love?

What! Is this thing called, "Love"?

What is this; thing called "Love"?


Yep; punctuation matters.

Posted by: Bruce at March 31, 2017 05:58 AM (nIUnC)

835 Titanic: Global warming causes Artic ice shelf to break off and is rammed by large vessel emitting dangerous carbon emissions and filled with filled with White people, who mostly die. Social Justice!

Posted by: Ripley at March 31, 2017 06:08 AM (1BQGO)

836 Enter the Dragon: asian becomes psychotic, goes on killing spree when he is unable to find his shirts.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at March 31, 2017 06:24 AM (vRcUp)

837 Fistful of Dollars: white privilege results in rise in gang violence in marginalized Latino communities.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at March 31, 2017 06:27 AM (vRcUp)

838 Se7en: detective finds out the hard way that there's more to life than getting ahead.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at March 31, 2017 06:31 AM (vRcUp)

839 Good morning!

Let's smile and be happy and strike fear in the heart of killjoy leftists everywhere.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 31, 2017 06:32 AM (u82oZ)

840 What a fun thread! Bravo!!

Scientist loses Federal grant money, turns to unconventional means to complete research.

Any movie with a mad scientist.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at March 31, 2017 06:34 AM (u82oZ)

841 War of Northern Aggression causes Atlanta to burn. Scarlett persists.

Posted by: GWTW at March 31, 2017 06:35 AM (bc2Lc)

842 Psycho: case study of how society's transphobia results in tragedy.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at March 31, 2017 06:39 AM (vRcUp)

843 Chicago Tribune: Busy night for the police...7 dead, 12 shot....Now back to Trump, Trump, Trump......Russia, Trump, etc.

Posted by: Colin at March 31, 2017 06:40 AM (odQZE)

844 Ambitious entrepreneur crushed by government regulations.

(Pretty much every James Bond movie.)

Posted by: Cato the Rebel Without a Party at March 31, 2017 06:41 AM (J+mig)

845 Saw: whimsical old man imparts valuable life lessons to flawed, hurting individuals.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at March 31, 2017 06:42 AM (vRcUp)

846 EMT is upPPPPP

Posted by: Bruce at March 31, 2017 06:43 AM (8ikIW)

847 I read the entire article by that Hillary logo-designer (re: yesterday's post here at AoS) and the guy is actually kind of self-deprecating about the whole thing. And occasionaly lets loose (with a Leftist bent) a nearly 'ron-worthy rhetorical style:

"On the other hand, Donald Trump's graphics were easy to dismiss. They combined the design sensibility of the Home Shopping Network with the tone of a Nigerian scam email."

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? - Takin' My Time on my Ride at March 31, 2017 06:44 AM (ul9CR)

848 I always thought the Oxford comma was "the nun
comma".

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 30, 2017 10:04 PM (+lVUW)

Yep! Same here. I went thru Catholic schools thru high school. After being out in the world, I was informed that the comma before "and" was assumed to be there. I still put it in.

Posted by: Paladin at March 31, 2017 06:57 AM (YaToS)

849 Titanic:

A timeless climate change movie about elite white men celebrating a carbon-based fueled mega-yacht, where they assert their white privilege, and keep steerage class 2nd class.

When the earth exercises karma for global warming, an iceberg delivers justice to the coal burning ship, and the coal industry as a warning to the world.

Posted by: QuietOneInNYC at March 31, 2017 08:00 AM (WeSxw)

850 A violent drug-dealer is forced to spend his Saturday talking to a bunch of troubled teenagers, succeeds in corrupting all of them.

An abused son attacks the father who abandoned him before realizing that he's just like his father. Also his friends get caught in a lot of traps, including one set by teddy bears.

Two incompetent federal bureaucrats start a nuclear war. Then they get laid and stop a nuclear war. They also pretend to be doctors, because Reagan.

A drunkard bangs his married ex-girlfriend, then gives her back to her husband and lies to him about it, but it's a lot more noble than it sounds here.

It's a biography about William Randolph Hearst, but all the names were changed.

A pedophile is sent to an insane asylum and gets murdered by one of the other patients. Some stuff happens in-between, but that's basically it.

An insane police officer convinces his new partner that shooting people and exploding property is really fun. They do this for four straight movies.

High school girls who are pushing 30 really want to visit Dallas, because that's the "happening scene."

Posted by: ChrisW at March 31, 2017 08:05 AM (WDty5)

851 Bug-ugly midget actor dresses as an even uglier woman and adopts wretched southern accent on the off chance of getting work and bedding Jessica Lange even though a still-hot Terri Garr is throwing herself at him.

Posted by: Tootsie at March 31, 2017 12:07 PM (5JlYa)

852 Teenagers meet the man of their dreams, and their hearts are all a flutter. Even the boys.

- Nightmare On Elm Street

Brother comes home for the holiday. There are complications.

- Halloween

White man learns he has been lied to by illegal immigrants, exercises 2nd Amendment rights.

- They Live

Posted by: hadsil at March 31, 2017 05:49 PM (x+jZt)

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