And so this is Christmas - Weirddave

It's not Christmas for me until I see this:

For those of you who are itching for political content this Christmas, your friends at Independent Journal are happy to help:

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:58 AM




Comments

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1 Centered

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at December 25, 2015 11:00 AM (ptqRm)

2 Merry Christmas to you Dave, Gingy and the entire household.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at December 25, 2015 11:01 AM (ptqRm)

3 I feel so middle of the road on Christmas

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 11:03 AM (DRmFJ)

4 Make. It. Stop.

Posted by: rickl at December 25, 2015 11:03 AM (sdi6R)

5 Trump on bass. That clinches it.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 25, 2015 11:03 AM (LUgeY)

6 Who ever said the center cannot hold never worked around here.

Posted by: Tim in Illinois. Old and Unimproved. at December 25, 2015 11:03 AM (WVsWD)

7 The words in the center kinda tie the whole page together.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 11:05 AM (MQEz6)

8 Merry Christmas to all the morons and all the ettes.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at December 25, 2015 11:05 AM (ucDmr)

9 Platoon.....Column LEFT!

Posted by: Tim in Illinois. Old and Unimproved. at December 25, 2015 11:05 AM (WVsWD)

10 The Barrel is no place to be spending your Christmas morning, Weirddave.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 11:05 AM (DRmFJ)

11 Dang.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 11:06 AM (MQEz6)

12 Merry Christmas, WierdDave and all.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty at December 25, 2015 11:06 AM (YLidQ)

13 Ridding myself of a stupid sock

Posted by: Soona at December 25, 2015 11:07 AM (Fmupd)

14 Dude, that's a barreling.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 25, 2015 11:08 AM (LUgeY)

15 It's a Festivus miracle!

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 11:08 AM (MQEz6)

16 The three greatest lines from classic Christmas movies, in order of their Christmas awesomeness:

3) "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings"

2) "God bless us, every one!"

1) "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 11:09 AM (DRmFJ)

17 Merry Christmas m'rons!

Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston at December 25, 2015 11:10 AM (A1Dcl)

18 Jeb is awesome, and I like Paul and the Piano and Trump on the bass.

Posted by: Hurricane LaFawnduh at December 25, 2015 11:11 AM (laMCB)

19 Merry Christmas to all.....now don't give me no jive. Go and get Santa some Colt45.

Posted by: Zombie Liberace at December 25, 2015 11:11 AM (ZK4rU)

20 Had my coffee, so I need to get my ass moving and begin Christmas activities. Should be a fun day.

Posted by: Soona at December 25, 2015 11:11 AM (Fmupd)

21 Merry Christmas to you and yours, Weirddave.

Posted by: Captain Whitebread at December 25, 2015 11:13 AM (rJUlF)

22 Merry Christmas WeirdDave!

I recorded "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and will view it tonight. It isn't Christmas without it.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 11:14 AM (jR7Wy)

23 I adore Linus's rendition. It gets me every time. The Lutheran synod has chosen to strip the beautiful lyrical quality of Luke 2: 1-14.
Now it's bland. Blech

Posted by: Clarney at December 25, 2015 11:14 AM (X1edi)

24 If I had a son he'd look like Shermy.

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at December 25, 2015 11:15 AM (dIFwd)

25 I was surprised that ABC showed the Linus segment in A Charley Brown Christmas last night. Makes me wonder if they were afraid of a bunch of sixty-plus year olds storming the place if they cut it. That little segment, so simply presented, is touching and holy. Only the dead of soul could not feel its power.

Posted by: JTB at December 25, 2015 11:15 AM (FvdPb)

26 Merry Christmas to all morons and 'ettes and their families and loved ones everywhere.
Buck and family.

Posted by: Buck Ofama at December 25, 2015 11:17 AM (GLFWg)

27 A Festivus Stomping.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! with purchase of equal or greater value commenter at December 25, 2015 11:17 AM (rwI+c)

28 What is it about stomping the art thread these days?

That political content, whatever it was, just shows up as a giant gray box for me. Perfect.

Here: Christmas Videos & Webworks

New Miracle at The Transfiguration Church,
Marietta Georgia December 12, 2015
by Maria Jorge
https://youtu.be/IO7JUcOrT6k

WestJet Christmas Miracle:
12,000 mini miracles
by WestJet
https://youtu.be/ME9PmSZedB4

Christmas with Millennials
The Daily Sunny - Ep 14
https://youtu.be/k_J0uSpM9ps

Merry Endangered Christmas
by Wild Bill for America
https://youtu.be/2DOnaNZV8hg



And these sorta seasonal mindful webworks, in case you missed my previous self-plugolas:

Santa, Dear Friends
For those who may have come to doubt the old elf
A short article written 1988, webworked 1996
http://bit.ly/uPbosF

The Terrible Christmas Song
On a radar screen, a blip
A short (40sec) and sour video
Written in 1991, recorded and posted a few days ago
http://bit.ly/terrible-christmas-song

Journey to Bethlehem
It seemed such a simple journey when they started out.
Multi-panel comic from 2013
http://bit.ly/1p0lYeT

Merry Christmas!

Posted by: mindful webworker - jolly at December 25, 2015 11:17 AM (UOsvH)

29
Merry Christmas to one and all!

We had a great family gathering at my in-laws' last night -- perhaps the best ever -- with all but two of the clan present out to the grandkids' generation and the newest great-grandchild, our grandson.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 25, 2015 11:18 AM (BK3ZS)

30 Where's Cruz??

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at December 25, 2015 11:20 AM (iQIUe)

31
The machine gun Christmas line is great because of the way Alan Rickman read it, particularly the "Ho, ho, ho!" part.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 25, 2015 11:20 AM (BK3ZS)

32 That political content, whatever it was, just shows up as a giant gray box for me. Perfect.


It's a "vine", but I ain't clinking on it to find out. It's probably one of those feel-good stories about a rapper getting shot in the mall.

Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 25, 2015 11:21 AM (k9qR4)

33 A very Merry Christmas to all in the AoS empire!

Posted by: wisenheimer, who mostly lurks nowadays at December 25, 2015 11:21 AM (qnhj2)

34 Merry Christmas to all!

Currently watching a Christmas story during the lull between present opening and Christmas dinner.

Posted by: Lea at December 25, 2015 11:22 AM (xDVhR)

35 Trump on bass. That clinches it.


***

Trump as Pigpen[/b on bass. That clinches it!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 11:22 AM (NeFrd)

36 tag fail.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 11:23 AM (NeFrd)

37 I find the second chapter of Luke (KJV) to be pure poetry- truly the greatest story ever told.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 11:25 AM (NeFrd)

38 Trump on bass. That clinches it.

That's me on tuba!

Posted by: Hillary! at December 25, 2015 11:25 AM (ZxmMG)

39 How embarrassing.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 11:25 AM (MQEz6)

40 You can tell it was made in 1965 by the dancing styles.

Posted by: rickl at December 25, 2015 11:27 AM (sdi6R)

41 Merry Christmas, Horde!

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 25, 2015 11:27 AM (A6ryA)

42
Did you know Alan Rickman is straight? Yeah, it's a Christmas miracle.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at December 25, 2015 11:27 AM (iQIUe)

43 Merry Christmas everyone.

Hope everyone is having a grand holiday with family. With no place-mat wars as the eggnog flows.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 25, 2015 11:31 AM (0yvhn)

44 Merry Christmas Anna Puma! Glad to see you had a safe trip.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 11:32 AM (jR7Wy)

45 My sister brought special gourmet salt from the Himalayas created by ancient seas 250 million years ago. The expiration date on the box is 2016. Thank God we made it just in time!,,

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 25, 2015 11:33 AM (Nwg0u)

46
After gifting fans with new posters, Colossus casting news and an annotated script page over the 12 Days of Deadpool, the Merc with a Mouth saved the best present of the bunch for Christmas Day.

A new Deadpool trailer -- a violent, profanity-filled red band one -- debuted Thursday morning. Both have lots of action, humor, and Ryan Reynolds in Spandex.

NSFW

http://www.nsfwyoutube.com/watch?v=ZIM1HydF9UA

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 25, 2015 11:33 AM (kdS6q)

47 I didn't like the twerking in the latest Charlie Brown movie.

Posted by: Zombie Charles Schulz at December 25, 2015 11:35 AM (dIFwd)

48 The Dailymail has a great item about a school lunch chef belting out a Christmas song and just stunning the kids.

Great voice, she has,

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 11:36 AM (MQEz6)

49 And Hillary is the only one not smiling. That's about right.

Posted by: oldbuffalo at December 25, 2015 11:37 AM (/pOl7)

50 Huck in a dress.....classic!

Posted by: Mr.KnowItAll at December 25, 2015 11:37 AM (VDc7u)

51 Snoopy is NOT a socialist! He's a brave WWI pilot

Posted by: Mr.KnowItAll at December 25, 2015 11:39 AM (VDc7u)

52 Alan Rickman is straight?

That must have been a shock when he announced it to his parents.

Posted by: eleven at December 25, 2015 11:39 AM (qUNWi)

53 Oh, Lord. Massive car accident scene unfolding on the street outside my building. We're watching from my 4th story window. At least 2 cars completely totaled. One was on fire.

They just brought out 2 body bags.

On Christmas Day. I can't even.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at December 25, 2015 11:41 AM (HMt16)

54 Merry CHristmas to the horde. Still lurking here often, just hard to post with iPhone. Record heat in S Texas.

Posted by: Bill sometimes bill from CAnada at December 25, 2015 11:41 AM (XheMT)

55 Trump should be playing the piano.



Their all dancing to his tune.

Posted by: eleven at December 25, 2015 11:41 AM (qUNWi)

56 Where are you at WWW?

Posted by: eleven at December 25, 2015 11:42 AM (qUNWi)

57 "Wrapped in strips of cloth"...what the heck!!???

Posted by: Clarney at December 25, 2015 11:42 AM (X1edi)

58 My sister brought special gourmet salt from the Himalayas created by ancient seas 250 million years ago. The expiration date on the box is 2016. Thank God we made it just in time!


*****


That is the funniest thing I have read all year! I tip my hat to you.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 11:44 AM (NeFrd)

59
Donald J. Trump

Merry Christmas to all. Have a great day and have a really amazing year. Together, we will MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! It will be done!

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 25, 2015 11:45 AM (kdS6q)

60
Ted Cruz

From our family to yours.

https://twitter.com/tedcruz/status/680426792654520320

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 25, 2015 11:47 AM (kdS6q)

61 How the heck does salt expire?

Posted by: Cicero Skip at December 25, 2015 11:48 AM (FIrEF)

62 It's 82 degrees down here and one of the two little Christmas cacti has bloomed. Brought it inside for B'Gal.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 25, 2015 11:49 AM (LUgeY)

63 Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 25, 2015 11:33 AM (kdS6q)
---
Finally, a superhero movie that speaks to me.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 11:51 AM (jR7Wy)

64 Ted Cruz

From our family to yours.


That was very nice.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 25, 2015 11:51 AM (LUgeY)

65 Merry Christmas, everyone.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 25, 2015 11:51 AM (B8JRQ)

66 Snow has been falling off and on all morning. On again right now. Total looks like perhaps 2" so far. Listening to classical Christmas music, drinking coffee, phoning family now and then.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 11:52 AM (NeFrd)

67 Best thing ever! Made my Christmas Merry! Oh, my goodness! ISIS will definitely be throwing those creators of content off of buildings, but until then ... go!

Posted by: goon at December 25, 2015 11:52 AM (gy5kE)

68 Today feels like a Saturday.

Posted by: eleven at December 25, 2015 11:53 AM (qUNWi)

69 Buckley the LID* just showed up at the back door with half an inch of snow on his back and top of his head. Ha!




*Low Information Dog

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 11:53 AM (NeFrd)

70 Still trying to get it out of my head...a friend mine...she saw the last post from RD Brewer--with the stained glass and she asked if that was some of 'mystical presentation of the Trump Child'?

Folks, there are some things from which you cannot return.

Posted by: Lower Class person whose opinions need to be guided at December 25, 2015 11:53 AM (3ZttN)

71 This is from the church where I married Mrs. jwb (jmdb) back in 1972. Brings back fond memories.
(The Little Brown Church In The Vale, Nashua, Iowa)
Merry Christmas to everyone!

http://www.pastorsoapbox.org/2015/12/a-radio-christmas.html

Posted by: jwb7605 at December 25, 2015 11:54 AM (DofIg)

72 nearly eighty degrees near Houston. Kicked back with some Jimmy Buffett...

Posted by: anon a mouse - now with more puppy! at December 25, 2015 11:57 AM (uiVGU)

73 Posted by: anon a mouse - now with more puppy!

****


New puppy? Do tell.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 11:58 AM (NeFrd)

74 Sunny today in the Bay Area.

Perhaps a good day to read a book in the park.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 11:58 AM (MQEz6)

75 We were adopted by another pup a couple months back. Can't imagine a better way to spend the holiday...

Posted by: anon a mouse - now with more puppy! at December 25, 2015 12:00 PM (NHQQx)

76 I put my eye out, kid.

Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at December 25, 2015 12:01 PM (u5gzz)

77
I'm watching Spectre. I'm starting to suspect that Ace's real name is Marco Sciarra.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at December 25, 2015 12:01 PM (iQIUe)

78 Maet got a mention on Instapundit.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:01 PM (MQEz6)

79 Listening to my local classical music station. The host for the King's College choir put in the obligatory "relevance" of the story to those fleeing persecution today.

Never a holiday from the lectures!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 12:02 PM (jR7Wy)

80 Today feels like a Saturday.
Posted by: eleven


Should feel like Thursday. Christmas always fell on Thursday for as long as I can remember. Although all the days run together in an alcoholic blur of late. *hic* They love you when you're on all the covers, when you're not then they love another. *hic*

Where's that little asthmatic teen? Granny wants a cuddle.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at December 25, 2015 12:04 PM (NO4j+)

81 Having Christmas on Saturday like this is just wrong. It messes up the whole week!

Posted by: goon at December 25, 2015 12:08 PM (gy5kE)

82 60° OMG ! The HockeyStick is true!t

Posted by: Michael E. Mann at December 25, 2015 12:09 PM (NO4j+)

83 Merry Christmas shout out to SOOTHY!

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at December 25, 2015 12:15 PM (iQIUe)

84 Merry merry Christmas to all my favorite morons - each and every one of you. Hallelujah - what a Savior!


We did Christmas breakfast with the grandkids as they ripped open their presents from Santa in two minutes flat, then proceeded to bring their whirly-birds outside, still in their jammies with no coats on. I can't remember a Wisconsin Christmas that was this warm. One whirly bird is still on the roof, but as much as I love the grands, I'm not going up after it. That's why God made dads.


A quieter day awaits now, as they all trundle off to their other grandparents, then tomorrow is our big gift-giving whoop-tee-doo with the whole clan, to be followed on Sunday with celebrations at my mom's down in Illinois. 4 days of Christmas - who could ask for anything more?


I wish each of you the blessing of the One who came to save us all when we were gone astray.



Posted by: grammie winger, Unto us a Son is given at December 25, 2015 12:16 PM (dFi94)

85 Quick check in and a Merry Christmas to all!

Posted by: donna at December 25, 2015 12:16 PM (/dSsq)

86 So yesterday we had a thug shoot out at local thug mall.



Local paper ran 15 pictures, number nine was thugs mug shot.



WZ ran this picture.





http://tinyurl.com/zkpfj6u

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:16 PM (jJRIy)

87 Trying to figure out why madonna's kid is not in school. He's 15 y/o. If I were a kid I would want to be with my friends and classmates who probably provide the only sense of stability.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at December 25, 2015 12:18 PM (iQIUe)

88 "How the heck does salt expire?"


Probably a food labeling requirement.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 12:18 PM (EITgj)

89 88
"How the heck does salt expire?"





Probably a food labeling requirement.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 12:18 PM (EITgj)

Yep. Salt does not expire, unless on tequila.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:19 PM (jJRIy)

90 Merry Christmas to all he Horde ...

Blessings of a future peace to those on the front lines here and afar ...

Posted by: Adriane the Holiday Critic ... at December 25, 2015 12:20 PM (AoK0a)

91 Bought my mom an e-cig set up for Christmas. It's such a pain in the ass to set up and messy if you're not familiar with it. Seems like it would be a pain even after you figure it out. Charging, refilling , part replacements . Sorry mom I thought I had nailed the present.

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at December 25, 2015 12:21 PM (bLhAC)

92 I saw Full Moon Christmas back in '77. Had all their eight tracks.

Posted by: I read Cream at December 25, 2015 12:21 PM (dIFwd)

93 The Christmas Monologue is a trigger and is full of microaggression.

Posted by: Oberlin College Snowflake at December 25, 2015 12:22 PM (Dwehj)

94
Since salt is a natural preservative I'm not sure how it can go bad. Hell, in Warlock salt was good to kill witches, too.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at December 25, 2015 12:23 PM (iQIUe)

95 Yes, Merry Christmas to all. Feeling VERY guilty, blew off lunch with family after argument last night.



I am getting old and very grumpy.



Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:23 PM (jJRIy)

96
Love the rapper's name: Donkey Cartel. lol

Maybe I'll change mine to Wang Cartel. Waddaya think?

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at December 25, 2015 12:24 PM (iQIUe)

97 WZ ran this picture.

http://tinyurl.com/zkpfj6u
Posted by: Nip Sip


In the shoe store.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 12:24 PM (FkBIv)

98 His friends said the "aspiring" rapper also was soon to be a father!






Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:26 PM (jJRIy)

99 It's not Christmas until Ralphie shoots his eye.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 12:28 PM (FkBIv)

100 In the shoe store.

-
Is his pants fashion known as half passed?

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 25, 2015 12:29 PM (Nwg0u)

101 So why did thug shooting not get any national news?



I think the cop that shot is ass is Black.




We do know the cop is a good shot. One shot and DOWN Bitch!

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:29 PM (jJRIy)

102 The salt is already thousands of years old. Maybe the expiration is for the iodinization.

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at December 25, 2015 12:29 PM (bLhAC)

103 I think there's a 'sell by' and an 'expiration date' on items. Not to take the humor out of the joke about the salt, which is funny, but I wouldn't want to purchase salt that was sitting around a grocery store for a couple years. On my shelf salt could sit there for a decade and I don't care.

But I am starting to use more sea salt now that I got edumacated about its meat tenderizing abilities.

Posted by: free range jihadist at December 25, 2015 12:29 PM (7v/r5)

104 Weaselzippers has an item on Neal DeDumbass Tyson.

Screen capture of a tweet.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:29 PM (MQEz6)

105 99
It's not Christmas until Ralphie shoots his eye.



Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 12:28 PM (FkBIv)

AND the dog's eat the turkey!

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:30 PM (jJRIy)

106 But I am starting to use more sea salt now that I got edumacated about its meat tenderizing abilities.

Genuwine salt > sodium chloride.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 25, 2015 12:31 PM (LUgeY)

107 Honey is another food stuff that doesn't go bad.

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at December 25, 2015 12:32 PM (bLhAC)

108 How about the St. Paul City Council member Alondra Cano, a huge supporter of the Black Lives Matter movement, doxing her constituents when they voiced their concerns against her support for the demonstrations at the Mall of America and MPLS airport which she was involved with. She tweeted their personal phone numbers and email. This chick is a real peach. What has happened to MN, MPLS, ans St. Paul?

Posted by: Retiredleo at December 25, 2015 12:33 PM (N6kBr)

109 Well it is after noon. I think a drink would reduce my depression.




Yeah that's it. It's medicine!

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:33 PM (jJRIy)

110 105
99

It's not Christmas until Ralphie shoots his eye.






Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 12:28 PM (FkBIv)

AND the dog's eat the turkey!


Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:30 PM (jJRIy)

And the cooks sing Jingle Bells in Chinese and cut the head off the Chinese Turkey!!

Posted by: Ralphie at December 25, 2015 12:33 PM (8aOqE)

111 A video of the mall shooting shows Mr. Cartel about to draw out his gun.

Next second, bang, the rapper raps his last.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:33 PM (MQEz6)

112 107
Honey is another food stuff that doesn't go bad.

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at December 25, 2015 12:32 PM (bLhAC)

I read that somewhere and bought many qts of the stuff. It does discolor some.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:34 PM (jJRIy)

113
Merry Christmas!

I got some good stuff, but not the Pie tree or tickets to PieLand that I was hoping for, maybe next year.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 25, 2015 12:34 PM (ODxAs)

114 "Bought my mom an e-cig set up for Christmas. "


Not a bad idea but they are a bit of a mess. I've got one but rarely use it. I use the disposables (NJoy or Zoom) and I like them. Last several days and when they're out, throw away, got get another for about the same price as a pack of smokes.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 12:36 PM (M0P3m)

115 @111

This mall is in the North part of CLT and has basically turned into a Black mall. No kids under 18 are allowed in after 5:00 without a parent.



Thugs are us!

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:37 PM (jJRIy)

116 Himalayan salt has been around for over two hundred million years.

It's been crushed under hundreds of meters of rock, heated to holy shit that's hot temperatures, and now some hipster is going to show a bit of it off to his emo rivals.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:38 PM (MQEz6)

117 #blackmallsmatter

Posted by: Zombie Rapper at December 25, 2015 12:38 PM (8aOqE)

118 95 Yes, Merry Christmas to all. Feeling VERY guilty, blew off lunch with family after argument last night.



I am getting old and very grumpy.





Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:23 PM (jJRIy)

Me too.... but it takes two to argue... and its usually the other one who starts it with me...

They don't realize that I am past being nice to idiots, just because the are weak idiots...

So if they want my company, then THEY need to figure out how to curb their own mouths during the holidays...

I no longer suffer fools gladly.... even if they are part of the family.

Posted by: BB Wolf at December 25, 2015 12:38 PM (f7rv6)

119 Another Christmas video. Would've been more suitable yesterday, I suppose, but for the comic book geeks, who cares? Nuff said! (Um, I haven't actually watched this, so, you're on your own. c/o comicbook.com)

Stan Lee Reads Twas The Night Before Christmas
https://youtu.be/8Y0Blx7128A

Merry Christmas, True Believers.

Posted by: mindful webworker - original MMMSer at December 25, 2015 12:39 PM (UOsvH)

120 Merry Christmas, Horde!

Nip.... did'ja wake early and wrap the presents?

Buying your ex gifts for Christmas. You're a man among men, a Moron of the First Order.

As Irongrandpa would say. Hold your head HIGH!

But yeah, I'll join you in that drink, but for good cheer and Glad Tidings of Great Joy.

*CHEERS!*



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at December 25, 2015 12:39 PM (McRlu)

121 Merry Christmas everyone!

Posted by: chique testing testing at December 25, 2015 12:39 PM (v9gSJ)

122 So my family is finishing lunch, damn I would like some turkey. Then they will open all the really expensive shit I bought them and fell like assholes for blowing me out last night.




EAT ME

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:39 PM (jJRIy)

123 110 105
99

It's not Christmas until Ralphie shoots his eye.






Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 12:28 PM (FkBIv)

AND the dog's eat the turkey!


Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:30 PM (jJRIy)

And the cooks sing Jingle Bells in Chinese and cut the head off the Chinese Turkey!!


Posted by: Ralphie at December 25, 2015 12:33 PM (8aOqE)

Its an AWARD!

Posted by: BB Wolf at December 25, 2015 12:40 PM (f7rv6)

124 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

Posted by: Linus Price Blair at December 25, 2015 12:40 PM (2lndx)

125 Hanukkah Harry brought me socks!!!

Thanks, Hanukkah Harry!!!

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:41 PM (MQEz6)

126 I no longer suffer fools gladly.... even if they are part of the family.

#1 SIL said "I might be crazy, but I'm thinking about voting for Sanders."

I agreed with wholeheartedly.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 25, 2015 12:41 PM (LUgeY)

127
Drew McCoy
@Salon.com - Even evilllll Walmart is closed. Why dont you guys take the day off too?

Salon.com 8:05 AM - 25 Dec 2015
Is Jesus birth worth celebrating? The dark subtext of the nativity scene http://slnm.us/JqVQR6b

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 25, 2015 12:41 PM (kdS6q)

128 Weaselzippers has an item on Neal DeDumbass Tyson. Screen capture of a tweet.Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:29 PM

Well it's good they got a screen capture cause it's gone from twitter. I suspect someone spoofed his account by way of password, because while I believe Neil Disgrace is dumb calling some girl bitch and telling her Santa ain't real is just a little farfetched, even for him.

Posted by: free range jihadist at December 25, 2015 12:41 PM (7v/r5)

129 Well off to a friend's house, see you later

Posted by: chemjeff at December 25, 2015 12:42 PM (uZNvH)

130 Big bowl of barf bourguignon, spending the day lounging with the wife, driniking my third pot of coffee. Happy birthday, Jesus!

Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 25, 2015 12:43 PM (k9qR4)

131 120
Merry Christmas, Horde!



Nip.... did'ja wake early and wrap the presents?




Jim, no I did not. I just could not get up the effort.



Sorry I let you all down. I set the alarm got up and looked at the paper and got so damn mad I went back to bed.



It was a mistake I am sure I will regret.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:43 PM (jJRIy)

132 The Christmas Monologue is a trigger and is full of microaggression.
Posted by: Oberlin College Snowflake


That ain't the only Monologue that is insenitive and offensive.

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner, woman without a vagina at December 25, 2015 12:44 PM (NO4j+)

133 Well, it's almost noon on X-Mas and I've only received and made 6 phone calls for work, so.


Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 12:45 PM (U43cf)

134 test

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:45 PM (MQEz6)

135 special gourmet salt from the Himalayas created by ancient seas 250 million years ago.

How much carbon are we going to have to burn to restore the Sherpas' traditional ocean environment? I best drive somewhere and do my part...

Posted by: t-bird at December 25, 2015 12:45 PM (OLNwX)

136 If anyone hasn't seen Kevin Williamson's Christmas essay at NRO, check it out. It's fantastic:
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/428980/christmas-scenes-strange-families

Posted by: Raul Johnson at December 25, 2015 12:45 PM (KZPpX)

137 Weaselzippers has an item on Neal DeDumbass Tyson.

-
Jeez, Neal, you needn't try so hard. I've hated you ignorant, arrogant pass for years.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 25, 2015 12:46 PM (Nwg0u)

138 Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:23 PM (jJRIy)
---
Nip, it feels awful but you probably did the right thing. At least it didn't escalate into a shoot-out at the mall!

You can get together later when everyone's cooled off.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 12:46 PM (jR7Wy)

139 128,

If he did not do it, he should say so.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:46 PM (MQEz6)

140 I have some of that stupid Hy salt I got at Costco.




I think Morton's Kosher salt is better.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:46 PM (jJRIy)

141 Nip. No worries amigo.

She's your EX for a reason, or reasons. Damn good ones, I'd expect, too.

Remember, only the ones you love can get you that pissed.

And then, remember the love.



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at December 25, 2015 12:46 PM (McRlu)

142 Nip, it feels awful but you probably did the right thing. At least it didn't escalate into a shoot-out at the mall!



You can get together later when everyone's cooled off.



Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 12:46 PM (jR7Wy)


Yes, this. God works in funny ways and he always looks after fools and drunks.

I got both going for me.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:48 PM (jJRIy)

143
140 I have some of that stupid Hy salt I got at Costco.

I think Morton's Kosher salt is better.
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:46 PM (jJRIy)

I have some in the form of a shot glass.

Have not tried it yet.


Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:49 PM (MQEz6)

144 I'm sure the "expiration date" on salt is a stupid government regulation. Salt does not rot or decay. I would have no qualms about using salt that is millions of years old.

Serious question, though: I've been meaning to make a fried rice recipe that is pretty daunting, with lots and lots of diced ingredients. I keep putting it off. I bought some diced ham that had a "use by", not "sell by" date on the package. I put it off so long that I threw it out and bought some new.

But this is not packaged raw meat in shrink wrap. It's vacuum sealed packaging. Does it really go bad beyond the "use by" date? It didn't look any different; while the shrink-wrapped meat starts turning gray within a few days past the "sell by" date.

Posted by: rickl at December 25, 2015 12:50 PM (sdi6R)

145 99 It's not Christmas until Ralphie shoots his eye.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 12:28 PM (FkBIv)


Heh. It's not Christmas until Hans Grüber falls from the 30th floor of the Nakitomi Tower.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 12:50 PM (DRmFJ)

146 #KingLouieMatters

Posted by: Abeulas Schlong III at December 25, 2015 12:50 PM (Dwehj)

147 Good day & Merry Christmas Moron Horde

Hour til dinner it's smelling good

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, bamboozled by love at December 25, 2015 12:51 PM (voOPb)

148 A lump of coal turns into a Christmas miracle. (How did anyone think that the play could exclude Linus's recitation of Luke?)

http://tinyurl.com/p5nmold

Posted by: stuiec at December 25, 2015 12:51 PM (G/C31)

149 why would you want Himalayan salt in particular? is it free range gluten free vegan etc? mystical powers?

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at December 25, 2015 12:51 PM (F+xWX)

150 Is this the salt thread?

Posted by: That guy who always says... at December 25, 2015 12:52 PM (Dwehj)

151 In the shoe store.

Buying work boots?

Posted by: Weirddave at December 25, 2015 12:53 PM (l2PR7)

152 Nip, what can you say about family. I've got friends I love more than family. That's bad, but true.

And it's okay.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 12:53 PM (oYnPA)

153 @149


Hippie women will buy a lot of stupid shit.



My son's sister in law, 35ish no husband, took the shit to Europe for his wedding.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:53 PM (jJRIy)

154
144 I'm sure the "expiration date" on salt is a stupid government regulation. Salt does not rot or decay. I would have no qualms about using salt that is millions of years old.

Serious question, though: I've been meaning to make a fried rice recipe that is pretty daunting, with lots and lots of diced ingredients. I keep putting it off. I bought some diced ham that had a "use by", not "sell by" date on the package. I put it off so long that I threw it out and bought some new.

But this is not packaged raw meat in shrink wrap. It's vacuum sealed packaging. Does it really go bad beyond the "use by" date? It didn't look any different; while the shrink-wrapped meat starts turning gray within a few days past the "sell by" date.
Posted by: rickl at December 25, 2015 12:50 PM (sdi6R)

Those dates come from lawyers and regulators. They might reflect some actual trends for the food products, but might just be a safe figure with ample safety margin.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:53 PM (MQEz6)

155 Rickl I would use the ham by the use date or very shortly after. Unless you decide to freeze it

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, bamboozled by love at December 25, 2015 12:53 PM (voOPb)

156 Yes, this. God works in funny ways and he always looks after fools and drunks.

I got both going for me.
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:48 PM (jJRIy)
---
And sailors. I was all three, walking around Chicago at night, alone (in my defense, I was a bit of a hick). And I'm still here! God was looking out for me, thus sparing me so that I could make posts on the future AoSHQ.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 12:54 PM (jR7Wy)

157 [Chuckle, chuckle] You said "him a lay a." [Chuckle]

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 25, 2015 12:54 PM (Nwg0u)

158 RK you are right, but you can not get rid of family.



Well you sort of can, but your kids always show up for something.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:54 PM (jJRIy)

159
149 why would you want Himalayan salt in particular? is it free range gluten free vegan etc? mystical powers?
Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at December 25, 2015 12:51 PM (F+xWX)

It's pink.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:55 PM (MQEz6)

160 "Buying work boots?"


Heh!


Best laugh I've today.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 12:55 PM (oYnPA)

161 the problem with honey is that it can crystallize. that's ehy I prefer to buy it in small containers

Posted by: @votermom at December 25, 2015 12:55 PM (cbfNE)

162 Is this the salt thread?
Posted by: That guy who always says... at December 25, 2015 12:52 PM

Sure hope not. Personally, I'm really tired of the stuff.

Posted by: Lot's wife at December 25, 2015 12:56 PM (7v/r5)

163 smuggled out of Tibet in the armpits of sherpas! it's still got hair in the hand carved salt shaker! made out of the thigh bone of the last Tibetan albino tiger!

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at December 25, 2015 12:56 PM (F+xWX)

164 So Nip everything cool at the Nipster home?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, bamboozled by love at December 25, 2015 12:57 PM (voOPb)

165 And sailors. I was all three, walking around
Chicago at night, alone (in my defense, I was a bit of a hick). And I'm
still here! God was looking out for me, thus sparing me so that I
could make posts on the future AoSHQ.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 12:54 PM (jR7Wy)

Holy shit, you are a blessed man.

I got off on the wrong exit in South Side after telling my sons not to do it. It was summer and 90.

Our white asses had rob us all over it.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:57 PM (jJRIy)

166 The true salt hipster uses Hawaiian alaea salt, which is mixed with red volcanic clay, rich in iron oxide.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 12:58 PM (jR7Wy)

167 Himalayan salt is the product of Indian aggression against Asia.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:58 PM (MQEz6)

168 oh shit it's pink!?!

damn gotta get me some now

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at December 25, 2015 12:58 PM (F+xWX)

169 Is this the salt thread?
Posted by: That guy who always says.


Donkey salt.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 12:58 PM (FkBIv)

170 why would you want Himalayan salt in particular?

The TeeVee cooks/shills are pushing it. Duh.

But honestly, have you actually tasted it? It's got something like 200% more placebo than any other salt you've ever used.

Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 25, 2015 12:59 PM (k9qR4)

171 oh, MERRY CHRISTMAS to the horde, in case you missed my greeting in the morning thread

and hugs and prayers for those having a rough Christmas, or missing someone special today

Posted by: @votermom at December 25, 2015 12:59 PM (cbfNE)

172 Holy shit, you are a blessed man.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:57 PM (jJRIy)
---
Very blessed -- I'm a she!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 12:59 PM (jR7Wy)

173 164
So Nip everything cool at the Nipster home?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, bamboozled by love at December 25, 2015 12:57 PM (voOPb)

Well sort of, no is here but me and I am almost out of vodka.

So this will be a problem later in the day.




Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:59 PM (jJRIy)

174 148 A lump of coal turns into a Christmas miracle. (How did anyone think that the play could exclude Linus's recitation of Luke?)

http://tinyurl.com/p5nmold

Posted by: stuiec at December 25, 2015 12:51 PM (G/C31)


WTF? Linus' monologue is what everything in the 'Charlie Brown Christmas' cartoon was building up to. IT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE STORY!!

We indeed live in stupid times.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 01:00 PM (DRmFJ)

175 Very blessed -- I'm a she!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 12:59 PM (jR7Wy)

Any woman that can walk through Chicago at night is a better MAN than I am.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:00 PM (jJRIy)

176 Merry Christmas everyone!

Posted by: Methos at December 25, 2015 01:01 PM (ZbV+0)

177 125 Hanukkah Harry brought me socks!!!
Thanks, Hanukkah Harry!!!
Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 12:41 PM (MQEz6)


I got a new frying pan.
I got Mrs. jwb a new DustBuster.
Just in case, I got her a TiVo Bolt, too, and rewired the house with a cat 5e jack by the living room television, because I'm now going to get a TiVo Mini and save $18 per month on cable box rentals.

Posted by: jwb7605 at December 25, 2015 01:01 PM (DofIg)

178 But honestly, have you actually tasted it? It's got something like 200% more placebo than any other salt you've ever used.


Rusty salt. What will they think of next?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 25, 2015 01:02 PM (LUgeY)

179 176
Merry Christmas everyone!


Posted by: Methos at December 25, 2015 01:01 PM (ZbV+0)


You are STILL not getting that blow job I owe you.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:02 PM (jJRIy)

180 I have the pink salt it's ok

Nip slow down bud, you have to make the day last

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, bamboozled by love at December 25, 2015 01:02 PM (voOPb)

181
Brandon Finnigan B_M_Finnigan

Merry Christmas all from my family to yours.

[pic] https://twitter.com/B_M_Finnigan/status/680407982404837377

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 25, 2015 01:02 PM (kdS6q)

182 Smell it. I mean to check meat, fish, poultry, etc.

Posted by: Hillary! at December 25, 2015 01:03 PM (8aOqE)

183 Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 12:59 PM (jJRIy)

Bars will be open. Uber. fTW!

Posted by: Goldman at December 25, 2015 01:03 PM (bU3IC)

184 Eman you can freeze ham.
And if you hate chopping veggies, go ahead and use some frozen chopped veggies. There are "Asian / stir-fry" ones.
Just make sure your gralic and onions are fresh, not frozen.

Posted by: @votermom at December 25, 2015 01:04 PM (cbfNE)

185 You are STILL not getting that blow job I owe you.
---
Well, in the spirit of the holiday, let's just call it even then

Posted by: Methos at December 25, 2015 01:04 PM (ZbV+0)

186 "Very blessed -- I'm a she!"


Yeah, see, Nip. Eris is a chick.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 01:04 PM (XKi7Z)

187 Some hipster tries to sell me some exotic pink salt, I'm gonna clobber 'em with some D-cells tied into a sock.

They'll charge me with a-Salt with Batteries.



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at December 25, 2015 01:04 PM (McRlu)

188 Nip slow down bud, you have to make the day last

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, bamboozled by love at December 25, 2015 01:02 PM (voOPb)

Yes, but I am thinking I have a bottle in my guest house.

Worst case? I know I have some everclear.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:04 PM (jJRIy)

189 Wow.

Did that hack Tyson drunk tweet or what. Way to call a child a bitch.

*at WZ.


Any exciting Christmas miracles amongst the horde?

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at December 25, 2015 01:05 PM (hlMPp)

190 "But this is not packaged raw meat in shrink wrap. It's vacuum sealed
packaging. Does it really go bad beyond the 'use by' date?"

I am pretty notorious around here for eating what everyone else considers "old and spoiled" food, horrifying them all in the process. I justify this as rehearsing for the Whatever Apocalypse, when being able to identify still salubrious foodstuffs will be a key survival skill. Things like package dating are very cautious, or else I would be pushing up daisies by now.

On something like that, while I wouldn't serve it to guests (taste and smell go off before it becomes actually unhealthful) I would cook the blazes out of it, throw it in with a bunch of other ingredients, and spice the lot of it heavily.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 25, 2015 01:05 PM (noWW6)

191 Salt Santa where he stood.

Posted by: That guy who always says... at December 25, 2015 01:06 PM (Dwehj)

192
Worst case? I know I have some everclear.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:04 PM (jJRIy)


Oh dear.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at December 25, 2015 01:06 PM (hlMPp)

193 Acai salt has more anti-oxidants than regular old blueberry salt. And don't even get me started on that civet monkey salt.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:06 PM (NeFrd)

194 "Brandon Finnigan B_M_Finnigan
Merry Christmas all from my family to yours"

I thought it would depict mini-CAC swaddled in a plaid map.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 25, 2015 01:07 PM (noWW6)

195 Up to almost three inches of snow on the deck now. Can no longer see the houses across the way (~150 yards) whiteout!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:08 PM (NeFrd)

196 But how does vacuum-sealed ham go bad? It looks like it could be survivalist food.

Posted by: rickl at December 25, 2015 01:08 PM (sdi6R)

197 @183


So five six years ago, when I first got divorced, three of us newly single guys all worked all morning at church, kept our mines off the sadness, then we decided we had had enough and needed to drink.




None of our bars were open, then, because I am a really smart guy, ha ha, I thought, shit hotel bars have to be open.



We got hammered at the Hilton!

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:09 PM (jJRIy)

198 D'aaaaaawwwww, mini-Brandon is so cute!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 01:09 PM (jR7Wy)

199 You should try activating your salt with magnets.

Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 25, 2015 01:10 PM (k9qR4)

200 Himalayan salt sounds like something Patrick Bateman would have in his kitchen next to a severed head.

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at December 25, 2015 01:10 PM (F+xWX)

201 Him Salt? The pet rock for hipster women.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:11 PM (jJRIy)

202 Worst case? I know I have some everclear.Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:04 PM


Just remember what proof that stuff is and pour accordingly. Please.

Posted by: free range jihadist at December 25, 2015 01:12 PM (7v/r5)

203 You should try activating your salt with magnets.

*****


I tried that once.




Made my mashed potatoes point north.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:12 PM (NeFrd)

204 @202


Oh yes, I know. I use to be on the ABC board.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:13 PM (jJRIy)

205 Now, of course anyone who has taken high-school physics can tell you that heating the salt will demagnetize it, so you have to put your magnetically activated salt on only cold food. Which is better for you anyway, as hot food causes an increase in sexual appetite, and no-one wants that.

Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 25, 2015 01:14 PM (k9qR4)

206 Reminds me of Christmas in my youth. They used to send me down into the coal mine to see if it was safe for the canaries.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:14 PM (NeFrd)

207 Salt can't melt steel.

/Rosie O.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:15 PM (NeFrd)

208 So right about now family will be opening presents and all of mine will stay under the damn tree I put up for the x.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:15 PM (jJRIy)

209
195 Up to almost three inches of snow on the deck now. Can no longer see the houses across the way (~150 yards) whiteout!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:08 PM (NeFrd)


Lucky. Shorts and a t-shirt.

I like it, but miss the snow.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at December 25, 2015 01:15 PM (hlMPp)

210 Seamus, you're still using salt excreted by civet cats? That's so played out.

I only use salt wiped from the brow of Sherpas carrying Chef Hugh Acheson's cooking gear to base camp.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 01:15 PM (jR7Wy)

211 Spent yesterday afternoon riding a horse on the beach of Oahu north shore, with a couple of AF intel types, backup Santa-watch you might call it.

I saw a whale on horseback! And I've been waiting all night to post that just so somebody can say "Jesus, I want to see that horse."

Posted by: Stringer Davis at December 25, 2015 01:16 PM (YBRsJ)

212 Which is better for you anyway, as hot food causes an increase in sexual appetite, and no-one wants that.

That explains the oatmeal all over the kitchen this morning.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at December 25, 2015 01:16 PM (YJmuy)

213 Hey Nip, you need a sugar rush. Take a break from the valu-rite and scarf down some cookies.

Posted by: @votermom at December 25, 2015 01:17 PM (cbfNE)

214 Posted by: Stringer Davis at December 25, 2015 01:16 PM (YBRsJ)
---
Where, Stringer? Waialua?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 01:17 PM (jR7Wy)

215 @213


Good idea. Greek yogurt might be the ticket.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:18 PM (jJRIy)

216 Daylight savings time be damned, I'm going to the Casino for a drink. It's close enough to noon here and just because they're an hour earlier doesn't mean anything...it's Christmas

Posted by: dufuss at December 25, 2015 01:18 PM (N6kBr)

217 Funny how Himalayan pink salt came into vogue about the same time as Sherpas start packing out freeze-dried climbers...

Posted by: t-bird at December 25, 2015 01:18 PM (mxCgt)

218 I saw a whale on horseback! And I've been waiting all night to post that just so somebody can say "Jesus, I want to see that horse."

It's just a wee whale.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 25, 2015 01:19 PM (LUgeY)

219 "I only use salt wiped from the brow of Sherpas carrying Chef Hugh Acheson's cooking gear to base camp."

Wait, I thought Eris would be using salt wiped from the sweat of her crew of lithe and attentive cabana boys. She fessed up to those at one point.

Or is the Sherpa salt for guests?

Posted by: torquewrench at December 25, 2015 01:19 PM (noWW6)

220 Thought for the day: In the land of women, the short picked man is king.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 25, 2015 01:19 PM (Nwg0u)

221 But how does vacuum-sealed ham go bad? It looks like it could be survivalist food.
Posted by: rickl at December 25, 2015 01:08 PM


I don't trust it, even vacuum sealed. I buy it, bring it home, cut it into sections, rewrap it, then it goes into freezer. Freezing it, like bacon, doesn't effect it much.

Both ham and bacon get this really, really slimy texture to the touch when they have been in frig for too long. Never wanted to test it on my stomach.

Posted by: free range jihadist at December 25, 2015 01:19 PM (7v/r5)

222 Nip right now: I'll have some ever clear.

Nip in an hour: I'm tipping a little feelsy!

Nip at about 3: may I please dogface to the banana patch?

Nip at 6: blerag addo fromulang abba abba.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 25, 2015 01:21 PM (kTF2Z)

223 But for best results, you need to store your Himalayan salt in a pyramid-shaped container.

Oriented north.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 01:21 PM (DRmFJ)

224 Harry Reid thinks Linus is hot.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at December 25, 2015 01:21 PM (oVJmc)

225 There has been an arson fire at the birthplace of Bill Clinton.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 01:21 PM (FkBIv)

226 Or is the Sherpa salt for guests?

Posted by: torquewrench at December 25, 2015 01:19 PM (noWW6)
---
I use the Sherpa salt when I mix restorative margaritas for Fulgencio and Paolo.

The circle of life.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 01:22 PM (jR7Wy)

227 225 There has been an arson fire at the birthplace of Bill Clinton.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 01:21 PM (FkBIv)
---
One of the cigars fell out.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 01:22 PM (jR7Wy)

228 Nip at 6: blerag addo fromulang abba abba.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 25, 2015 01:21 PM (kTF2Z)


There's honestly nothing like the feeling of egg-nog flavoured vomit stuck in your sinuses 15 hours after a really good Christmas party.

Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 25, 2015 01:22 PM (k9qR4)

229 @214 Yeah, real close. At the Polo Club, you can rent a Kramden-Norton "string of poloponies" with a real nice guide. Seems like a lot to pay until you compare the cost of other whale-watching expeditions...

Whales were a solid 3/8 mile out, so it's not like you're tempted to jump on or anything. But that's a lot closer to shore than I've seen before, and they breached and blew and rolled over just like in a life insurance ad (no actual flying through the air, but Sea World's closed, no?). And I got enough salt spray to spoil a book of matches in my pocket.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at December 25, 2015 01:23 PM (YBRsJ)

230 Watch were those yaks go and don't eat the yellow snow

Posted by: Skip at December 25, 2015 01:23 PM (EX5wM)

231 So what happens when civets poop out a Sherpa?

All Hail Eris check msg centre.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 25, 2015 01:23 PM (0yvhn)

232 Nip at 6: blerag addo fromulang abba abba.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 25, 2015 01:21 PM (kTF2Z)

I speak Spanish, don't be fvcking with me!


I think a few precooked pieces of Hormel bacon sounds good!

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:24 PM (jJRIy)

233 >>Harry Reid thinks Linus is hot.

My favorite part of Christmas is the little drummer boy.

Posted by: Harry Reid at December 25, 2015 01:24 PM (c7vUv)

234 blerag addo fromulang abba abba

****


Man, that's more coherent than I usually manage stone cold sober. I need a life.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:25 PM (NeFrd)

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 01:25 PM (DRmFJ)

236 But how does vacuum-sealed ham go bad? It looks like it could be survivalist food.

It's not a high vacuum, and there's still plenty of water in there, too. When the package gets puffy, it's going. Not that it's stopped me, but it's probably better to toss it at that point.

Posted by: t-bird at December 25, 2015 01:26 PM (mxCgt)

237 Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 01:25 PM (DRmFJ)

Indubitably.

Posted by: @votermom at December 25, 2015 01:26 PM (cbfNE)

238 I eat only magnetically polarized salt. Bitches.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 01:27 PM (DRmFJ)

239 blerag addo fromulang abba abba


Klaatu barada nikto

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 01:27 PM (FkBIv)

240 211 Spent yesterday afternoon riding a horse on the beach of Oahu north shore, with a couple of AF intel types, backup Santa-watch you might call it.

I saw a whale on horseback! And I've been waiting all night to post that just so somebody can say "Jesus, I want to see that horse."


Posted by: Stringer Davis at December 25, 2015 01:16 PM (YBRsJ)


Was it a SEA Horse?

Posted by: AquaMan at December 25, 2015 01:27 PM (f7rv6)

241 #237, it was one of my most intelligent comments on this blog

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 01:27 PM (DRmFJ)

242 239 blerag addo fromulang abba abba


Klaatu barada nikto

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 01:27 PM (FkBIv)


Necktie?

Posted by: Ashe at December 25, 2015 01:28 PM (f7rv6)

243  But for best results, you need to store your Himalayan salt in a pyramid-shaped container.Oriented north.Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 01:21 PM


Far away from your grain.

Posted by: Ben Carson at December 25, 2015 01:28 PM (7v/r5)

244 Klaatu barada nikto

---------------

Code accepted. Standing down.

Posted by: Gecko45 at December 25, 2015 01:28 PM (kTF2Z)

245 #237, it was one of my most intelligent comments on this blog

I found nothing in that comment that I could disagree with.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at December 25, 2015 01:28 PM (YJmuy)

246 But how does vacuum-sealed ham go bad?



****

The usual way. Starts to hang out with a new group of friends. Then starts to cut classes and maybe try a little marijuana. Next thing you know it's sporting a tramp stamp tattoo and a nose ring.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:28 PM (NeFrd)

247 Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 01:25 PM (DRmFJ)

Threadwinner!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 25, 2015 01:29 PM (LUgeY)

248 242 GORT!

Posted by: Mr. Carpenter at December 25, 2015 01:30 PM (IPirI)

249 Klaatu has a long moustache.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 01:30 PM (FkBIv)

250 The chair is against the wall.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty at December 25, 2015 01:31 PM (BDUyA)

251 It's not Christmas for me until I see this:

Haven't seen the Grinch on TV this year, got to sing it twice in the car so far.

Posted by: DaveA at December 25, 2015 01:31 PM (DL2i+)

252 First you will blow me.

Posted by: Mel at December 25, 2015 01:32 PM (jJRIy)

253 246 But how does vacuum-sealed ham go bad?



****

The usual way. Starts to hang out with a new group of friends. Then starts to cut classes and maybe try a little marijuana. Next thing you know it's sporting a tramp stamp tattoo and a nose ring.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:28 PM (NeFrd)

and is suddenly an aspiring Rapper?

Posted by: BB Wolf at December 25, 2015 01:32 PM (f7rv6)

254 You're a mean one, Mister Trump.

Posted by: Bill Kristol at December 25, 2015 01:33 PM (FkBIv)

255
223 But for best results, you need to store your Himalayan salt in a pyramid-shaped container.

Oriented north.
Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 01:21 PM (DRmFJ)

Side or edge?

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 01:33 PM (MQEz6)

256 and is suddenly an aspiring Rapper?



Posted by: BB Wolf at December 25, 2015 01:32 PM (f7rv6)

With a kid on the way we will be paying for

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:33 PM (jJRIy)

257 Man, I just schlonged the ever livin hell out of this pitcher of mimosas!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 25, 2015 01:34 PM (kTF2Z)

258 The bacon was good, but now I am out of valurite.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:35 PM (jJRIy)

259 >>The usual way. Starts to hang out with a new group of friends. Then starts to cut classes and maybe try a little marijuana. Next thing you know it's sporting a tramp stamp tattoo and a nose ring.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:28 PM (NeFrd)

and is suddenly an aspiring Rapper?
Posted by: BB Wolf

Then it ends up stretched out on the floor of a shoe store.

Posted by: Harry Reid at December 25, 2015 01:36 PM (c7vUv)

260 Then it ends up stretched out on the floor of a shoe store.

Posted by: Harry Reid at December 25, 2015 01:36 PM (c7vUv)

IF we are lucky.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:36 PM (jJRIy)

261 >>> Man, I just schlonged the ever livin hell out of this pitcher of mimosas!

Is the pitcher cold and deep?

Yer cut off, Mister ;--)

Posted by: fluffy at December 25, 2015 01:37 PM (nFBCQ)

262 The spirit of Mr. Cartel must have some bitchin' chains on him, yo.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 01:37 PM (MQEz6)

263 258 The bacon was good, but now I am out of valurite.
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:35 PM (jJRIy)
---
Time to walk to the corner store, or a neighbor with a good liquor cabinet.

Do stores deliver on Xmas?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 01:37 PM (jR7Wy)

264 B'Gal gave me Jeff-fa-fa Dun-Hammm's book All By My Selves, a Walter doll and a set of four shot glasses with Jose, Peanut, BubbaJ and Achmed the Dead Terrorist on them from their Las Vegas show.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 25, 2015 01:37 PM (LUgeY)

265 Cruising along here with a string of good classic Christmas carols on the radio, and then, wham!....Springsteen Santa Claus is Coming to Town rolls. Now I feel like kicking a puppy.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty at December 25, 2015 01:37 PM (BDUyA)

266 >> Man, I just schlonged the ever livin hell out of this pitcher of mimosas!
Posted by: Duke Lowell

Tasty! Has a real wang to it.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at December 25, 2015 01:38 PM (c7vUv)

267 Autocucumber is trying to make a better man out of me and I don't like it!

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 25, 2015 01:38 PM (Nwg0u)

268
260 Then it ends up stretched out on the floor of a shoe store.

Posted by: Harry Reid at December 25, 2015 01:36 PM (c7vUv)

IF we are lucky.
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:36 PM (jJRIy)

Pants down! Don't shoot!

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 01:38 PM (MQEz6)

269 >>>

Posted by: fluffy at December 25, 2015 01:40 PM (nFBCQ)

270 Bad/good news. I just remembered I have three cases of vodka in my second garage. Yes, I have two. I have four buildings, three electrical bills and a fucking pool that NO ONE gets in.





This could get ugly.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:40 PM (jJRIy)

271 Bad/good news. I just remembered I have three cases of vodka in my second garage. Yes, I have two. I have four buildings, three electrical bills and a fucking pool that NO ONE gets in.

This could get ugly.
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:40 PM (jJRIy)

****

Burning times stash?

Posted by: ManWithNoParty at December 25, 2015 01:42 PM (BDUyA)

272 Salt is great. They used salt and hot water to clean and sterilize all the churns and other tools when making cream and butter and cheese in olden times.

Without salt, we wd all die. Salt.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at December 25, 2015 01:42 PM (iQIUe)

273 if Barack had a son, he'd look like Donkey Cartel.

Posted by: Weasel at December 25, 2015 01:43 PM (IPirI)

274 Someone send the National Guard to Nip's house!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 25, 2015 01:44 PM (kTF2Z)

275 Then it ends up stretched out on the floor of a shoe store.

IF we are lucky.
Posted by: Nip Sip


If we're unlucky he ends up in the White House.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 01:46 PM (FkBIv)

276 Someone send the National Guard to Nip's house!

He's got a pool. Better send the Coast Guard as well, just in case.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at December 25, 2015 01:46 PM (YJmuy)

277 274 Someone send the National Guard to Nip's house!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 25, 2015 01:44 PM (kTF2Z)
---
And bring vodka and lots of ice!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 01:47 PM (jR7Wy)

278 pretty notorious around here for eating what everyone else considers

DIY food poisoning burritos for an evening entertainment.

Posted by: DaveA at December 25, 2015 01:47 PM (DL2i+)

279 A case of vodka will be very valuable after the shit hits the fan.

Add some cigarettes, soap, and toilet paper to the stockpile.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 01:47 PM (MQEz6)

280 So the dead thug story?



Years ago I owned a building in a very sketchy area. I had a black shipping clerk, who was a really famous drummer, another story.




He had spent some time, 10 years, in jail for killing a guy. So one day this thug is breaking into one of our cars. I never knew the clerk cared a gun, but on this day he runs out back and yells, stop right there N++ger or I am going to kill you.




When another black calls you out I think it works. The guy fell to the grown and didn't move till cops got there. Oh, and the clerk would have killed him.






Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:47 PM (jJRIy)

281 I have four buildings, three electrical bills and a fucking pool that NO ONE gets in.

Sounds like Casa Moo Moo.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 01:47 PM (FkBIv)

282 Side or edge?

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 01:33 PM (MQEz6)


Edge, of course. Has to be aligned with the earth's magnetic field for proper polarization.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 25, 2015 01:49 PM (DRmFJ)

283 If you have enough ammo, then cigarettes and beans and booze will take care of themselves.

Posted by: Weasel at December 25, 2015 01:49 PM (IPirI)

284 197 @183


So five six years ago, when I first got divorced, three of us newly single guys all worked all morning at church, kept our mines off the sadness, then we decided we had had enough and needed to drink.




None of our bars were open, then, because I am a really smart guy, ha ha, I thought, shit hotel bars have to be open.



We got hammered at the Hilton!
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:09 PM (jJRIy)


Crap! I missed it!
Not a bad idea. Rent a couple of rooms and a couple of cocktail waitresses.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 01:50 PM (lQqij)

285 Burning times stash?

Posted by: ManWithNoParty at December 25, 2015 01:42 PM (BDUyA)

Well, yes. I had some vodka made for me when I was on ABC Board. I also had about six cases of Mt Gay rum.



The problem is my sons drink rum. None left.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:51 PM (jJRIy)

286 281
I have four buildings, three electrical bills and a fucking pool that NO ONE gets in.



Sounds like Casa Moo Moo.



Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 01:47 PM (FkBIv)


ha ha. Where has that dickhead been?

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:52 PM (jJRIy)

287 Up to almost 4" of snow on the deck. Another three feet of this and we may have to turn to cannibalism.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:52 PM (NeFrd)

288 We got hammered at the Hilton!

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:09 PM (jJRIy)





Crap! I missed it!

Not a bad idea. Rent a couple of rooms and a couple of cocktail waitresses.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 01:50 PM (lQqij)

Trust me we were so screwed up we could not have done a thing. We did take cabs home

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:53 PM (jJRIy)

289 ...we may have to turn to cannibalism.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon



*****


What? I'm just a forward-thinker.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 01:54 PM (NeFrd)

290 ha ha. Where has that dickhead been?
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:52 PM (jJRIy)

*****

He's been around, now as Monsieur Mew Mew. Seems to have chilled out some too.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty at December 25, 2015 01:54 PM (BDUyA)

291 @287


I love snow, in moderation and on a mirror.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:54 PM (jJRIy)

292 271 Bad/good news. I just remembered I have three cases of vodka in my second garage. Yes, I have two. I have four buildings, three electrical bills and a fucking pool that NO ONE gets in.

This could get ugly.
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:40 PM (jJRIy)

****

I'll bring the chips and dip. Ruffles okay?
Nip, you sound like my parents....minus the pool. Neither of them can swim.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 01:55 PM (lQqij)

293 ...we may have to turn to cannibalism.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon
----
Go for the slow, well-marbled ones. Better than Kobe beef!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 01:55 PM (jR7Wy)

294 291 A hooker's ass also works well.

Posted by: Weasel at December 25, 2015 01:56 PM (IPirI)

295 293 long pork.

Posted by: Weasel at December 25, 2015 01:57 PM (IPirI)

296 294 291 A hooker's ass also works well.
Posted by: Weasel at December 25, 2015 01:56 PM (IPirI)

****

Just spewed coffee all over laptop after reading that!!!

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 01:58 PM (lQqij)

297 A hooker's ass also works well.

This should be on every Christmas card, honestly.

Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 25, 2015 01:58 PM (k9qR4)

298 @292

Oh, I can swim. Sr life guard in HS. Saved three people.



I still want to kill the asshole I pulled across a lake in TN.




You know, even young, pulling dead weight for an hour is really really awful.




I couldn't let him die, I did think about it.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 01:59 PM (jJRIy)

299 Lemonade, vodka and snow, hmmmm

Posted by: Skip at December 25, 2015 01:59 PM (EX5wM)

300 Peeled shrimp are worse than potato chips! Somebody stop me!

Posted by: joncelli at December 25, 2015 01:59 PM (1FhAQ)

301 295 293 long pork.
Posted by: Weasel at December 25, 2015 01:57 PM (IPirI)

****
That's a schlong role in Pittsburgh.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 01:59 PM (lQqij)

302 Man, I should have gone to Vegas.

No, on second thought, better not.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 02:00 PM (MQEz6)

303 Oops. Looks like the snow's letting up. And we have a package of snickerdoodles and half a pumpkin pie. Ix-nay on the annibalism-kay.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:00 PM (NeFrd)

304 This should be on every Christmas card, honestly.
Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 25, 2015 01:58 PM (k9qR4)

*****

Sure. Good wholesome fun for the whole family.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty at December 25, 2015 02:00 PM (BDUyA)

305 @298 Dude needs to buy you drinks for life.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 02:02 PM (lQqij)

306 Merry Christmas, all.

Posted by: Some Lurker Guy at December 25, 2015 02:02 PM (fc61q)

307 He's been around, now as Monsieur Mew Mew. Seems to have chilled out some too.
Posted by: ManWithNoParty at December 25, 2015 01:54 PM (BDUyA)


Heh. I thought it was someone socking him.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at December 25, 2015 02:02 PM (WWdgA)

308 I love how the thread devolved from the Gospel of Luke to snorting blow off a hooker's ass.

God bless the Horde.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 02:03 PM (jR7Wy)

309
299 Lemonade, vodka and snow, hmmmm
Posted by: Skip at December 25, 2015 01:59 PM (EX5wM)

Make sure it is lemonade.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 02:03 PM (MQEz6)

310 305
@298 Dude needs to buy you drinks for life.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 02:02 PM (lQqij)

White trash dickhead, probably a roofer. Haven't seen or heard from him in 40 years.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 02:04 PM (jJRIy)

311 snickerdoodles and half a pumpkin pie. Ix-nay on the annibalism-kay.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:00 PM (NeFrd)
---
Fattening them up for the famine to come! Good thinking, Seamus.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 02:04 PM (jR7Wy)

312 I love how the thread devolved from the Gospel of Luke to snorting blow off a hooker's ass.


*****

Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:04 PM (NeFrd)

313 ...or the trajectory of any given thread parallels the trajectory of the broader society.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:05 PM (NeFrd)

314 Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:04 PM (NeFrd)
---
What the Haeckel are you talking about?!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 02:06 PM (jR7Wy)

315 My dog's been acting weird all day. I think he's trying to tell me about about trouble.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 02:06 PM (lOqyn)

316
310 305
@298 Dude needs to buy you drinks for life.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 02:02 PM (lQqij)

White trash dickhead, probably a roofer. Haven't seen or heard from him in 40 years.
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 02:04 PM (jJRIy)

Maybe one of his descendants will save the Earth from Alien invasion someday.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 02:06 PM (MQEz6)

317 99 It's not Christmas until Ralphie shoots his eye.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 12:28 PM (FkBIv)

That's no joke to me!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_t01_6a2kQ

Posted by: Moe Greene at December 25, 2015 02:06 PM (GrXXa)

318 I think he's trying to tell me about about trouble.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill


*****


Two questions:

1. Do you have a well?


2. Do you know anybody named Timmy?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:07 PM (NeFrd)

319 OK. Horde. You all have heard of my blow up at x's.




They have about finished dinner and presents. Do I dare call them?




Pretty sure I know the answer, no fucking no, but I will accept varying opinions

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 02:07 PM (jJRIy)

320 315 Lassie-dogging!!!

We're in for trouble, folks!

Posted by: Weasel at December 25, 2015 02:08 PM (IPirI)

321 Yes, Nip, call and wish them Merry Christmas. Whatever happens, you did the right thing by calling.

And who knows, they might have booze!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 02:09 PM (jR7Wy)

322 Do I dare call them?
Pretty sure I know the answer,



****


Just keep in mind that you are soliciting life advice from a group of people who hang out here on Christmas Day and weight your decision accordingly.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:09 PM (NeFrd)

323 315
My dog's been acting weird all day. I think he's trying to tell me about about trouble.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 02:06 PM


That is not good. Weather? Wife offering a BJ? You feeling OK?



Sounds strange.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 02:10 PM (jJRIy)

324 Sidebar story:


A confused man who thought he was time traveling smashed his car through two businesses, say police.A Dodge Challenger plowed through two business in a Pensacola, Florida strip mall on Sunday morning, according to Pensacola News Journal.The driver sped through the intersection of North Davis Highway and West Fairfield Drive at approximately 10:50am and careened through the front door of Advanced Tax Services.The car then kept going, smashing through the wall and into the business next door, Pensacola Caskets.

Apparently, you really CAN'T avoid death or taxes.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at December 25, 2015 02:10 PM (oVJmc)

325 Here's Postmodern Jukebox's version of "Last Christmas" done Andrews Sisters style:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3Hrn2_LxDs


I want the one in the middle. You can't see it in the video, but in the photo I got with the e-mail, she has a splendiferous hourglass figure. Much, much better than any cheerleader.

Like the young woman I saw in the supermarket last night. Good Lord. I do believe my eyes bugged out a foot in front of my face like in the cartoons.

Posted by: rickl at December 25, 2015 02:10 PM (sdi6R)

326 318 You'll also get that for people stuck in quicksand and barn fires.

Posted by: Weasel at December 25, 2015 02:10 PM (IPirI)

327 How about I text them? A call could lead down a bad path.



What say you morons?

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 02:11 PM (jJRIy)

328 327 Maybe ask Ricardo Kill's dog. He sounds smart.

Posted by: Weasel at December 25, 2015 02:13 PM (IPirI)

329 Merry Fuckin' Christmas!

(That was for Fenelon. Mostly)

Posted by: Garrett at December 25, 2015 02:13 PM (6Ytlq)

330 I do believe my eyes bugged out a foot in front of my face like in the cartoons.

****


There's a code for that:

ICD-10-CM

H05.253 - intermittent exophthalmos, bilateral


(sound effects need to be coded separately.)

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:14 PM (NeFrd)

331 "Two questions:

1. Do you have a well?


2. Do you know anybody named Timmy? "


No. But he's sitting here loking at me like I've disapointed him.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 02:15 PM (x00r+)

332
327 How about I text them? A call could lead down a bad path.

What say you morons?
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 02:11 PM (jJRIy)

Text instead?

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 02:16 PM (MQEz6)

333 @332


Yeah, text only

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 02:18 PM (jJRIy)

334 No. But he's sitting here loking at me like I've disapointed him.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill


****

Was he maybe expecting the latest iBone™ for Christmas instead of that squeaky stuffed squirrel you got him?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:20 PM (NeFrd)

335 A confused man who thought he was time traveling smashed his car through two businesses

He must not have hit 88 mph.

Posted by: t-bird at December 25, 2015 02:20 PM (w/iDp)

336 >>No. But he's sitting here loking at me like I've disapointed him.



Perhaps he suspects that Jar of Peanut Butter wasn't really a gift for him?

Posted by: Garrett at December 25, 2015 02:21 PM (8iCj3)

337
I want the one in the middle. You can't see it in the video, but in the photo I got with the e-mail, she has a splendiferous hourglass figure. Much, much better than any cheerleader.

Like the young woman I saw in the supermarket last night. Good Lord. I do believe my eyes bugged out a foot in front of my face like in the cartoons.Posted by: rickl at December 25, 2015 02:10 PM (sdi6R)
I wouldn't kick any of them out of bed. Nosiree, I'd find a way to make room for all four of them.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at December 25, 2015 02:21 PM (sOfzO)

338 Ricardo,

Maybe he's depressed because he never got to be a banker.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 25, 2015 02:21 PM (kTF2Z)

339 1.21 Giggilowatts!

Posted by: Dr. Paolo Brown at December 25, 2015 02:23 PM (8iCj3)

340 If he's anything like my dog it means he yakked on the closet floor.


Merry Christmas Dad!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:23 PM (NeFrd)

341 334
No. But he's sitting here loking at me like I've disapointed him.



Posted by: Ricardo Kill


Get your wife to give him a ball rub. or this.



http://tinyurl.com/mysxrfv

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 02:23 PM (jJRIy)

342 That Charlie Brown animation up top still cracks me up. With all the whiz-bang Star Wars effects that exist, well, you just don't always need them.

Posted by: t-bird at December 25, 2015 02:24 PM (w/iDp)

343 Don't know if the "bitch" comment was really Tyson's but here he is claiming CAGW is gonna (presumably) kill Santa:
http://tinyurl.com/nfr6r4v

Posted by: andycanuck at December 25, 2015 02:24 PM (DLIIY)

344 Gloomy,rainy day here. May be time for a long winter's nap.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, brimming with Christmas spirit at December 25, 2015 02:29 PM (Z58Xa)

345 "Get your wife to give him a ball rub. or this."


I don't got no wife. Man you really to pay attetntion.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 25, 2015 02:29 PM (Dyegb)

346 Nip: Call and be nice. This way if it regresses then it is on them.

. . . and then call the cops and report an active meth lab at their address. Anonymous of course.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 02:30 PM (lQqij)

347 310 305
@298 Dude needs to buy you drinks for life.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 02:02 PM (lQqij)

White trash dickhead, probably a roofer. Haven't seen or heard from him in 40 years.
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 02:04 PM (jJRIy)

****

Best roofers are your illegals from El Salvador.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 02:31 PM (lQqij)

348 We were adopted by another pup a couple months back. Can't imagine a better way to spend the holiday...
Puppy hoagies?

Posted by: president o'bumbles at December 25, 2015 02:32 PM (DLIIY)

349 Merry Christmas, darlings!!! Hope everyone is warm and safe and happy today. xoxo, peaches

Posted by: Peaches at December 25, 2015 02:35 PM (kt4OC)

350 341 334
No. But he's sitting here loking at me like I've disapointed him.



Posted by: Ricardo Kill


Get your wife to give him a ball rub. or this.



http://tinyurl.com/mysxrfv
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 25, 2015 02:23 PM (jJRIy)

I watched . . .
Why dear Lord did I watch . . .
Bet those babes never get asked out . . .

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 02:35 PM (lQqij)

351 The Taliban member who rammed an explosives-laden motorcycle into a joint NATO-Afghan patrol near Bagram Air Base in southern Afghanistan Monday, killing six U.S. troops, passed through Afghan security before carrying out the suicide bomb attack, CNN reports.

Well isn't that dandy?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 25, 2015 02:35 PM (DUoqb)

352 Peaches! Merry Christmas!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 02:36 PM (jR7Wy)

353 HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY!!! Got the window open, a bit rainy but a comfortable temp here in the Peoples Republic of Fairfax County (VA). What a nice spring we're having. Um, why do I still have Christmas decorations up? looks a calendar Ooohhhh.

MERRY CHRISTMAS everybody!! I'm not complaining about the spring weather. Cold sucks.

Posted by: Puddleglum at December 25, 2015 02:38 PM (yyIhP)

354 Ah. Time for the Christmas pic of Miss Sophie, our doggeh:

http://preview.tinyurl.com/nhsegv8

At the moment, she is curled up next to me asleep.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, celebrating Christmas! at December 25, 2015 02:38 PM (RrDm2)

355 Take the bus and leave the driving to us.

http://tinyurl.com/jzcqtp4

Posted by: Hey Hey we're the monkey at December 25, 2015 02:43 PM (FkBIv)

356 Some Elf elbows would be nice.

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2015 02:43 PM (MQEz6)

357 Merry Fuckin' Christmas!



(That was for Fenelon. Mostly)

Posted by: Garrett at December 25, 2015 02:13 PM (6Ytlq)
Heh heh, I'll take some of that, Garrett! Drinking heavily and trying to fake it. Mostly dreaming of my morning escape. I know, I suck. (NOT in the "good" way, pervs)

Posted by: Peaches at December 25, 2015 02:44 PM (kt4OC)

358 Liv Tyler?

Posted by: Skip at December 25, 2015 02:45 PM (EX5wM)

359 * belllllch *

Sitting around digesting after a very satisfying brunch. Milady made a kind of pudding-ish quiche, new recipe, different, but very tasty. With mushrooms-spinach-onions side dish. And bacon. Son said, so, mushroom, spinach, onion, bacon quiche... some assembly required.

Disassembly, reassembly, whatever, it was all good.

Attended by daughter, in-town son, out-of-town son, our dog, and out-of-town son's two dogs. Hearty party.

Just need to rest up a bit before tonight's dinner at daughter and in-town son's house. At the moment, we're thinking, dessert may be all we need tonight. And (finally) opening presents.

* excuse me *

Posted by: mindful webworker - satedly at December 25, 2015 02:46 PM (UOsvH)

360 Checking in to wish one and all a very Merry Christmas and God bless always!!! Now back to baking and drinking for me.

Posted by: IC at December 25, 2015 02:46 PM (+3RH+)

361 Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah to you magnificent morons of mirth.

Posted by: Tilikum Moderately Nefarious Killer Whale at December 25, 2015 02:47 PM (hVdx9)

362 Checking mis-spelled nic.

I'm worthless without glasses.

Posted by: Goldman at December 25, 2015 02:50 PM (yKpKO)

363 Well isn't that dandy?Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 25, 2015 02:35 PM

Easy to overlook an explosive laden motorcycle. /sarc

Sadly one of the deceased was from my area.

When it comes to fighting Islamists we're damned if we do, damned if we don't.

Posted by: free range jihadist at December 25, 2015 02:50 PM (7v/r5)

364 Very blessed -- I'm a she!
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage

How you doin'?

Posted by: joey tribbiani at December 25, 2015 02:50 PM (DLIIY)

365 Jeez.

Posted by: Golfman at December 25, 2015 02:50 PM (yKpKO)

366 Jeez.

Endeavor to persevere Golfman, endeavor to persevere.

Posted by: Panhandler at December 25, 2015 02:53 PM (ILwW3)

367 New tablet.

Spell-check. I swear. Honest.

Posted by: Golfman at December 25, 2015 02:54 PM (yKpKO)

368 Popping in between dinner and dessert to wish all y'all a blessed Feast of the Nativity!

Now to go warm up the smoking bishop before friends drop by...

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at December 25, 2015 02:56 PM (pLwjI)

369 Spell check you will.

Posted by: Yogurt at December 25, 2015 03:01 PM (FkBIv)

370 >>> Spell-check.

Say my name, oxygen sucker.

Posted by: Auto Cucumber at December 25, 2015 03:01 PM (nFBCQ)

371 My dog's been acting weird all day. I think he's trying to tell me about about trouble.
Maybe Mr Moo Moo's down the well!

Posted by: andycanuck at December 25, 2015 03:02 PM (DLIIY)

372 'Smoking bishop' sounds like something the folks at urban dictionary would invent.

Man she warmed the hell out of my smoking bishop last night.

Or, she dropped a smoking bishop on my coffee table - It cleared the room.

Didn't know it was a beverage from Dickens era England.

Posted by: free range jihadist at December 25, 2015 03:08 PM (7v/r5)

373 >>>136 If anyone hasn't seen Kevin Williamson's Christmas essay at NRO, check it out. It's fantastic:
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/428980/christmas-scenes-strange-families
Posted by: Raul Johnson at December 25, 2015 12:45 PM (KZPpX)

Second that.

Posted by: m at December 25, 2015 03:09 PM (d4uu4)

374 Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 25, 2015 02:04 PM (NeFrd)

---

What the Haeckel are you talking about?!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 02:06 PM (jR7Wy)


I am told that, in English at least, orthography recapitulates philology.

(smirk)

Posted by: Kindltot at December 25, 2015 03:09 PM (q2o38)

375 I'm baking gingerbread cookies. Who wants some? (cookies!)

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 03:15 PM (jR7Wy)

376 In the shoe store.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 25, 2015 12:24 PM (FkBIv)

---------

The Off Duty Cop, in the Shoe Store, with the .40 Cal.

Posted by: Clue! at December 25, 2015 03:18 PM (/f6Nd)

377 I have one son. Said son spent several years in prison, which was exactly where he should have been, but he's been out for a year and lives in my mother's old house. Every holiday meal is a genuine struggle for me, as the kid has absolutely zero social skills to speak of and eats like he's afraid someone is going to take it away from him. This year? I bought a 5 lb standing rib roast, cooked it to perfection on the grill...and watched as he put approximately half of it on his plate, along with gigantic portions of everything else. I don't care how much anyone eats - hell, if it's there, have at it - but this kid doesn't seem to understand that there are other people there who would like a damn portion before he finishes it up.
OK, end of rant.

Posted by: antisocialist at December 25, 2015 03:23 PM (cDs+4)

378 *opens card*
*reads*

"A gift for You: A twelve-month Sanity-Maintenance membership!

From: Ace, the Cobs, Commenters, (and Lurkers)"

Aw, thanks guys! That was sweet!

Love ya!

Posted by: Emmie at December 25, 2015 03:24 PM (NttCy)

379 Didn't know it was a beverage from Dickens era England.

Posted by: free range jihadist at December 25, 2015 03:08 PM


Stuff's practically addictive. All of my friends have started making it after I introduced them to it. It goes down waaay too easily. LOL

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at December 25, 2015 03:28 PM (pLwjI)

380 Just heard on "History: Fact or Fiction" that Christmas used to be like a drunken frat party, in pre-Pilgrim England.
Puritans banned the celebration of Christmas in the 1670's because of all the drinking.

^^^^Buuuuuuuurrrrppppp^^^^^

Posted by: antisocialist at December 25, 2015 03:28 PM (cDs+4)

381 Tilikum, up for sushi?

Cookies? Nom nom nom.

Guess back to the rewriting and editing.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 25, 2015 03:29 PM (0yvhn)

382 Yes, I would like some gingerbread cookies, please.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 25, 2015 03:29 PM (kTF2Z)

383 @377: Don't be too hard on him. He's probably eating that way out of prison mentality; get what you can fast. Make a plate for him and say he can get seconds when he's done.

Just a thought.

Or a wooden spoon across the knuckles and a stiff "There are other people here!!" might work better.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 03:29 PM (lQqij)

384 Merry Christmas, Horde!

>>>136 If anyone hasn't seen Kevin Williamson's Christmas essay at NRO, check it out. It's fantastic:
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/428980/christmas-scenes-strange-families
Posted by: Raul Johnson at December 25, 2015 12:45 PM (KZPpX)

It's okay, but Williamson did the same thing that the Salon writer did: he said that Joseph just went along with what Mary said about the paternity of Jesus. Matthew 1 refutes this.

Posted by: baldilocks at December 25, 2015 03:30 PM (ys2UW)

385 380 Just heard on "History: Fact or Fiction" that Christmas used to be like a drunken frat party, in pre-Pilgrim England.
Puritans banned the celebration of Christmas in the 1670's because of all the drinking.

^^^^Buuuuuuuurrrrppppp^^^^^
Posted by: antisocialist at December 25, 2015 03:28 PM (cDs+4)


*******

Same guys that would shoot their guns in the air during Sunday services INSIDE the church.
'Course the roofers were happy . . .

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 03:32 PM (lQqij)

386 Or a wooden spoon across the knuckles and a stiff "There are other people here!!" might work better.
Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 03:29 PM (lQqij)

Yeah, that's kind of my thinking. My husband says to just let him be, it's only a few times a year, but he's not going to learn any younger...

Posted by: antisocialist at December 25, 2015 03:32 PM (cDs+4)

387 Merry Christmas, Morons.
I see some names I haven't seen in quite a while. Nice to see y'all - (looking at you, Miss Peaches).

Posted by: Chi at December 25, 2015 03:37 PM (mUsVF)

388 It looks like Steam's been hacked. I'd suggest no transactions on the site until they give the all clear. Also EA.

Posted by: bananaDream at December 25, 2015 03:37 PM (Ag8Mw)

389 Looks like some accounts compromised. Language changed to Russian so I'd guess russians.

Posted by: bananaDream at December 25, 2015 03:40 PM (Ag8Mw)

390 *Shoves cookies, warm from the oven, through port*

Eat up, my pretty Hordelings! *cackles*

I'm sorting through, reading, and discarding the ziggurat of magazines on my coffee table -- my gift to myself, a table I can put a coffee cup down on -- and came across Issue 22 of "RECOIL". Editor Iain Harrison has a pointed editorial on gun grabbing and our "salesman in chief": "The countries you so admire instituted the collective punishment of thousand of their most upstanding citizens -- people who had done no wrong, but nevertheless had their lawfully held property confiscated under penalty of law and threat of violence. I myself was forced to hand over my own pistols or face 10 years in prison... So to co-opt one of your own figures of speech, Mr. President, let me make this quite clear. I will not comply."

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 03:42 PM (jR7Wy)

391 308 I love how the thread devolved from the Gospel of Luke to snorting blow off a hooker's ass.

God bless the Horde.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 02:03 PM (jR7Wy)

Ho...er...Horde Christmas.

Posted by: baldilocks at December 25, 2015 03:42 PM (ys2UW)

392 I don't really see Donald Trump as a musical Pig Peg although the media does jump to his tune, but is this Huckabee as Lucy?

Ted Cruz had another engagement?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 25, 2015 03:42 PM (qES5k)

393 @384: Yah gotta be careful with crap like that. They give you just a portion of what's in the Gospel in an attempt to discredit it (yeah, better folks than them have tried . . .). I saw this one show where some Professor of Religion at some state school back east was going on and on about how Mark's account of the Gospel, the earliest known manuscripts, lack any of the post Resurrection appearances of the other accounts. The implication being that they were added level in a Watergate style coverup. What he failed to mention was that every manuscript of Mark possesses Mark 16:1-8, the Resurrection and angels conversation with the women at the tomb.

In Orthodox services, the service right after the Midnight service on Easter morning has as the Gospel reading this very passage.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at December 25, 2015 03:42 PM (lQqij)

394 Very blessed -- I'm a she!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 12:59 PM (jR7Wy)



Right on, sister! How long since you've transitioned.

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at December 25, 2015 03:45 PM (NO4j+)

395 Raining hard outside. Glad I'm inside with some wine and gingerbread, but mostly wine.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 03:46 PM (jR7Wy)

396 Hopefully a lead free christmas for the children of flint michigan.

Posted by: lead at December 25, 2015 03:47 PM (iRmli)

397 Right on, sister! How long since you've transitioned.
Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at December 25, 2015 03:45 PM (NO4j+)
---
Still tucking, girlfriend! Hope to have everything finalized by Valentine's Day.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 25, 2015 03:47 PM (jR7Wy)

398 nood

Posted by: m at December 25, 2015 03:56 PM (d4uu4)

399 Right on, sister! How long since you've transitioned.Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at December 25, 2015 03:45 PM


Remember the show 'Nip Tuck'?

I'm expecting any day now some program called 'Tuck Snip'.

Back in the 80's there was a movie 'Car Wash' that was so outlandish it was a laugh riot. Today, it looks like it was torn from the front pages; the homosexuality, the transvestite, the angry muslim convert, a bomber, the leftist pot smoking Mao spouting kid, STDs, etc.

Posted by: free range jihadist at December 25, 2015 04:01 PM (7v/r5)

400 A lazy rainy Christmas in Tennessee. Snuggles with the dogs (including a freshly rescued pibble) and BLTs with the wife.

Posted by: Colonel Kurtz at December 25, 2015 04:07 PM (aDVrz)

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