International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Yarrr, it's today.

Jean Leon Gerome Ferris, "Capture of the Pirate, Blackbeard, 1718" (1920)

Thanks be to @Popehat for the reminder and the paintin'.

Below is the excellent instructional video Talk Like a Pirate.

Posted by: rdbrewer at 08:25 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 aaaarrrrgh!

g'mornin' again, 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at September 19, 2015 08:27 AM (ZQfW9)

2 Is talking like a Pirate mandatory? This is even worse than ye olde English day?

Posted by: Tim in Illinois. Proud owner of Luap Nor's Last Brain Cell and a pocket full of Silver Dimes at September 19, 2015 08:31 AM (dOD0J)

3 aye Lassie, prepare to be boarded

Posted by: Big Dong, the tripod pirate at September 19, 2015 08:32 AM (jqmxX)

4 Pirate Art....

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 19, 2015 08:34 AM (9ORmX)

5 In Michigan Krispy Kream donuts are giving a dozen free donuts to all pirates today!

Posted by: Chillin the most at September 19, 2015 08:36 AM (BI43k)

6 Modern pirates speak Somalian.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at September 19, 2015 08:36 AM (oVJmc)

7 Walk this plank, lassie!

Posted by: Longshank at September 19, 2015 08:38 AM (sJuKe)

8 Let me know when talk like an olde English Pirate Day comes along. Now that would be fun.

Posted by: Tim in Illinois. Proud owner of Luap Nor's Last Brain Cell and a pocket full of Silver Dimes at September 19, 2015 08:38 AM (dOD0J)

9 The definitive pirate video be the SNL ABCDEFG alphabet song.

Posted by: Roger Fuckebythenavele at September 19, 2015 08:40 AM (tWUja)

10 Oh damn, gotta get rid of the sock.

Posted by: Corona at September 19, 2015 08:41 AM (tWUja)

11 Shiver me timbers!

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 19, 2015 08:42 AM (JO9+V)

12 Arrrrrgh, that's the last thing I need. This condo we're in is next to the harbor where a pirate ship goes out twice a day for little tours. We can hear the crew yelling pirate talk at the other boats, including the Coast Guard.

Posted by: stace at September 19, 2015 08:43 AM (3q554)

13 Heh, I just knew if I posted my birds-eye take from my attendance at the

Heritage Presidential forum last night, the thread would close down. If

you want my ten cent tour opinion on what I saw, it starts at 128 in

the EMT.

Posted by: Lady in Black.....sigh at September 19, 2015 08:43 AM (pVkEV)

14 I'll wait for International Bawdy Wench Day, if it's OK.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 19, 2015 08:45 AM (VPLuQ)

15 Blackbeard was a badass. I'd vote for him.

Posted by: freaked at September 19, 2015 08:45 AM (BO/km)

16 Homage a kindltot:

"Get in this barrel, darlin, and we'll do it 'urricane-style!"

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 19, 2015 08:45 AM (xq1UY)

17 Having big wedding party for son, this will obviously now fit into my speech tonight, mates.

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 19, 2015 08:45 AM (jJRIy)

18 Arrrrrgh, that's the last thing I need. This condo we're in is next to
the harbor where a pirate ship goes out twice a day for little tours. We
can hear the crew yelling pirate talk at the other boats, including the
Coast Guard.

Is that the boat in Clearwater, FL?

Posted by: Colin at September 19, 2015 08:45 AM (eoM8x)

19 Arrh, little johnny come up and see my parrot.

Posted by: Harry Reid, Pederast at September 19, 2015 08:47 AM (jJRIy)

20 3 aye Lassie, prepare to be boarded

Posted by: Big Dong, the tripod pirate at September 19, 2015 08:32 AM (jqmxX)

I believe the proper term is "wench." Otherwise people will think you have an unnatural relationship with your collie.

(In 2015, not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Posted by: Donna&&&&V. (brandisher of ampersands) at September 19, 2015 08:47 AM (P8951)

21 *Readies keel hauling ropes for useless crew members Orange John and Mitch the Old Maid*

Posted by: Secundus at September 19, 2015 08:47 AM (8Uc/L)

22 >>>Pirate Art....

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 19, 2015 08:34 AM (9ORmX)<<<

You silly landlubber... you did it wrong.
It's pirate arrrrrrrght!

Posted by: Peg Leg Picasso, the Pirate Arrrrrrghtist at September 19, 2015 08:47 AM (xzGte)

23 Rum!

Posted by: @votermom at September 19, 2015 08:49 AM (cbfNE)

24 It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day again? I'm starting to get the same feeling I have with my yearly mammograms. It's been a year already??

Posted by: Lady in Black.....sigh at September 19, 2015 08:49 AM (pVkEV)

25 Why aren't there any WOMEN in your mission of high-seas drama? Sure, the biological differences of women makes them less accurate with a musket, slower up the riggings, weaker with a sword strike, the men all try to bang them as soon as they leave port, their hygiene goes to hell underway, and they're just generally less constructed for the rude realities of swashbuckling, BUT DAMMIT YOU NEED WOMEN IN YOUR PIRATE RANKS YOU SMALLMINDED BIGOTS. And you'd better not use mean words around them when they're there!

Posted by: Judy Patterson, chief executive of the Service Women's Action Network, who never served or went to c at September 19, 2015 08:49 AM (N6eLE)

26 Krispy Kreme (the actual donut shop) is said to be offering free donuts if you talk like a pirate.

Bet their timbers be shivering when they see me walk through the door today.

Posted by: Krispy Kreme Christie at September 19, 2015 08:50 AM (xzGte)

27 "It's pirate arrrrrrrght!"

Well swash my buckles.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 19, 2015 08:50 AM (9ORmX)

28 >>>Blackbeard was a badass. I'd vote for him.

Posted by: freaked at September 19, 2015 08:45 AM (BO/km)<<<

Thank you, I look forward to your support.

Posted by: Moochelle Obama at September 19, 2015 08:52 AM (xzGte)

29 Arr, y' scurvy knaves. We've hijacked yer country and we're sellin' off the booty. Arr yarr and mwah ha ha I mean yo ho ho. Also alleyhoo ackpatooie.
-Federal Freebooters

Posted by: mindful webworker - why is roger jolly? at September 19, 2015 08:53 AM (f/ass)

30 Black beard had some cute cabin boys.

Posted by: Harry Reid, Pederast at September 19, 2015 08:53 AM (jJRIy)

31 15 Blackbeard was a badass. I'd vote for him.
Posted by: freaked at September 19, 2015 08:45 AM (BO/km)

#blackbeardsmatter

Posted by: @votermom at September 19, 2015 08:53 AM (cbfNE)

32 Somalian Pirate Song - SouthPark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMfqVrBfcHg

(you don't have to watch it, really)

Posted by: Kindltot at September 19, 2015 08:53 AM (3pRHP)

33 Thank you, I look forward to your support.

Posted by: Moochelle Obama at September 19, 2015 08:52 AM (xzGte)

Waxaan u aragtid waxa aad halkaas ku sameeyay

Posted by: Secundus at September 19, 2015 08:56 AM (8Uc/L)

34 "Waxaan u aragtid waxa aad halkaas ku sameeyay "

Romulan....?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 19, 2015 08:57 AM (9ORmX)

35 Ew. I loathe this stuff. Nothing romantic about pirates at all. They are and always have been assassins and criminals, in spite of what transpires at a Rennaissance Faire.

Posted by: Zombie Ted Cruz at September 19, 2015 08:57 AM (oQQwD)

36 32 Somalian Pirate Song - SouthParkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMfqVrBfcHg(you don't have to watch it, really)
Posted by: Kindltot at September 19, 2015 08:53 AM (3pRHP) HARRR!

Posted by: DJ Jazzy Mel at September 19, 2015 08:58 AM (22uju)

37 According to Google Translate, "I see what you did there" in Somali.

Since we're talkin' like pirates and all...

Posted by: Secundus at September 19, 2015 08:58 AM (8Uc/L)

38 The archaic languages thread was bad enough. Now this.

Posted by: L, Elle at September 19, 2015 08:59 AM (2x3L+)

39 Avast, ye scurvy sawbones! I've quaffed a flagon o' rum and I'm bitin' the bullet.

Now wield that cutlass 'twixt me pegleg, and carve me into the fetching wench that it is my birthright to become!

Posted by: Capt. Cait Jenner, historic first transpirate at September 19, 2015 09:00 AM (Qq/It)

40 Speaking of criminals and thieves who generally live outside the law, how 'bout...

International Talk Like A Member Of Congress Day?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 19, 2015 09:01 AM (VPLuQ)

41 A re-run from last thread for your amusement

Make America Grate Again
(c/o Will S's Sunny Side Blog)
http://bit.ly/Make-Am-Grate

•

And, Reaganite Republicans TGIF cartoons. From yesterday, but still fresher than regressive rhetoric.
http://bit.ly/RR-2015-09-19

Posted by: mindful webworker - VNN back pages at September 19, 2015 09:01 AM (f/ass)

42 Somali? I thought that was archaic Greek. Wanax is "king" isn't it?

Posted by: Kindltot at September 19, 2015 09:02 AM (3pRHP)

43 #39 is some seriously funny shit right there.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 19, 2015 09:02 AM (VPLuQ)

44
International Talk Like A Member Of Congress Day?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 19, 2015 09:01 AM (VPLuQ)

Arrr. We be appeasin' the moderates.

Posted by: Secundus at September 19, 2015 09:02 AM (8Uc/L)

45 Is that the boat in Clearwater, FL?
Posted by: Colin at September 19, 2015 08:45 AM (eoM8x)

No, it's Port Aransas, TX, where the water is not so clear. We love it here but we were told yesterday that the local dolphins are a subspecies with better sonar for the poor visibility in the area bays.

Jean Lafitte supposedly buried treasure here. He did hang out here a little. Is there an island anywhere that doesn't have a fake buried trealsure legend?

Posted by: stace. Ahoy, horde! at September 19, 2015 09:03 AM (3q554)

46 jolly? at September 19, 2015 08:53 AM (f/ass)

Nice hash

Posted by: Chillin the most at September 19, 2015 09:04 AM (BI43k)

47 Ah, yes. Before speaking like a pirate I must get dressed like a pirate.

Now where did I put those arrrrghyle socks?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 19, 2015 09:04 AM (NeFrd)

48 I loved that commercial from years ago for a place called The Stereo Shop. One announcer was saying that they offered great prices on turntables and tuners when a pirate voice broke in saying:

"Tuner's you say.. Be they like the big ones off the North Sea?"

Well, it was funny at the time.

Posted by: jwest at September 19, 2015 09:05 AM (Zs4uk)

49 It still shocks me that Somalian pirates exist when we could just kill them all with a well armed crew.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 19, 2015 09:05 AM (iQIUe)

50 Stace! I love Port Aransas. Have fun. Watch out for the dolphins. They're all rapey and stuff

Posted by: L, Elle at September 19, 2015 09:06 AM (2x3L+)

51
Arggggggggg.....wax on....wax off!

Posted by: Blackbeard Miyagi at September 19, 2015 09:06 AM (OiFtZ)

52 "Starkville Tower, this is N9783475 on final. Downwind vector 370 approching runway five-niner. Request permission to land!"

Wait, that's for "Talk Like A Pilot" Day. My bad.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 19, 2015 09:06 AM (NeFrd)

53 It's also Oktoberfest.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 19, 2015 09:07 AM (1aiVZ)

54 Romulan....?

too many vowels

Posted by: AltonJackson at September 19, 2015 09:07 AM (ZQfW9)

55 Are you sure that pirate in the painting isn't Captain Bloombeard? He looks like a gun grabber to me.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 19, 2015 09:09 AM (NeFrd)

56 "too many vowels"

What was I thinking....

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 19, 2015 09:09 AM (9ORmX)

57 Avast maties! Today is boat show day where there will be much rum and occasional wench!

Posted by: JackStraw at September 19, 2015 09:10 AM (OGm46)

58
When I was a kid, I was really afraid of Davy Jone's locker. Must have seen a movie or other show on it and it left a lasting scary impression.

I was also afraid of quicksand and piranha.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 19, 2015 09:10 AM (iQIUe)

59 Rdbrewer needs to walk the plank for this horrible thread

Posted by: L, Elle at September 19, 2015 09:10 AM (2x3L+)

60 I grew up in Portland...Port Aransas / Mustang Island is my "home" beach

Posted by: AltonJackson at September 19, 2015 09:11 AM (ZQfW9)

61 All this pirate talk and only one "booty."

I am dismayed.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 19, 2015 09:11 AM (9ORmX)

62 I'm starting to get the same feeling I have with my yearly mammograms.

****

For some reason I picture the technician over-tightening the plates and the patient saying, "Arrrrgggh!"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 19, 2015 09:12 AM (NeFrd)

63 Now is not the time for the Pirates to fade. Fuck! now the injury bug strikes. Fuck! Typical Pittsburgh Pirates luck.

Oh. This isn't a baseball thread. Sorry...

Posted by: Puddleglum at September 19, 2015 09:12 AM (9V/dL)

64 Marines: Oorah!
Army: Hooah!
Air Force: ...
Navy: Yaaarrrrr!

Happy ITLAPD everybody!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Scourge of the Atlantic Seaboard at September 19, 2015 09:12 AM (jR7Wy)

65 The first 2 Pirates of the Carribean movies were pretty good. The funniest thing is that Micheal Bolton song that he did with Andy Samberg about Captain Jack Sparrow

Posted by: L, Elle at September 19, 2015 09:13 AM (2x3L+)

66 *looks around*

Arrr...the rum be always gone on Saturday mornin's.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at September 19, 2015 09:14 AM (KrAjA)

67 I was told there would be buxom wenches here today.

Posted by: MTF at September 19, 2015 09:14 AM (TxJGV)

68 There was a couple in San Diego who were selling their boat. A guy who was a young and minor actor said he was interested. So, he and his pals show up and they take it out. They tied weights to the married couple and throw them overboard. What a cruel was to kill someone. How fucked up do you have to be? Did he really think he cd get away with it? It's hard to hide a boat that size with the owners missing and everyone looking for them.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 19, 2015 09:15 AM (iQIUe)

69 Arrrrrrrrrr, Obama be a Christian lad!

Posted by: Jebbie Bushbeard at September 19, 2015 09:16 AM (TxJGV)

70 Arrrgh, where's me gold doubloons -- er, gold pantaloons?

Posted by: Lizzy at September 19, 2015 09:18 AM (NOIQH)

71 @68

?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 19, 2015 09:18 AM (9ORmX)

72 My wife and I were passing a Krispy Kreme a few weeks ago when the sign lit up signaling they were just cooking a batch.

I had to pull in.

Even though my wife goes to the gym an hour each morning and never eats anything like that, she couldn't resist the fresh ones.

Posted by: jwest at September 19, 2015 09:18 AM (Zs4uk)

73 I am a total and unrepentant landlubber. Born, raised, and living in the center of the country, far away from bodies of water bigger than a man-made lake.

I've stood in the Pacific and I've gazed at the Atlantic, and I've wallowed in the greasy Gulf, as well as living fourteen years on the shores of the sea called Lake Michigan. But vast tracts of water make me nervous. If I'm going to have waves all around me in all directions, I want it to be waving fields of grassland. Where lurking dangers have merely four paws instead of fins and tentacles.

Prairie Pirates are still a nuisance, though. Scary when you see a prairie schooner approaching under the black flag....

Posted by: mindful webworker - lub blub bub at September 19, 2015 09:18 AM (f/ass)

74 Aye, mateys, if it's booty you want, Michelle's got quite the booty.

Posted by: Obama Blackbeard at September 19, 2015 09:19 AM (2x3L+)

75 Seein' my red headed wench tonite. Yaaarrrrgghh!

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 19, 2015 09:21 AM (JO9+V)

76 Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 19, 2015 09:10 AM (iQIUe)

Quicksand scared the crap out of me - I saw some TV and the whole idea that you could get slowly sucked into the earth terrified me.

There was a woods near our house with a swampy area that was known as *drumroll* The Swamp. I was afraid to go there for a long time because I felt sure there had to be quicksand there. My mother did not reassure me that there is no quicksand in Wisconsin, because she wanted us to stay away from the place. All the moms did, because kids who hung around The Swamp invariably came home all muddy. I'm surprised the mothers didn't start telling us that gators and Loch Ness monsters and axe murderers lived there.

Posted by: Donna&&&&V. (brandisher of ampersands) at September 19, 2015 09:22 AM (P8951)

77 Ew. I loathe this stuff. Nothing romantic about pirates at all. They are and always have been assassins and criminals, in spite of what transpires at a Rennaissance Faire.

Well, I'm pretty fond of Sir Francis Drake, who seems to have been a chivalrous gentleman, though one could technically consider him a privateer (the Spanish called him a pirate, of course, and since England and Spain were not technically at war...) There has usually been a pretty fine line between piracy and pre-modern warfare, though.

Having said that, you are exactly right about the folks that people usually are referring to by "pirate." Sea-going brigands.

Posted by: Grey Fox at September 19, 2015 09:22 AM (bZ7mE)

78 Will there be spitting upon hands, hoisting of black flags, and slitting of throats on this thread?

Posted by: L, Elle at September 19, 2015 09:22 AM (2x3L+)

79 Here ya go: Douchebag actor who murdered the couple said he did it to finance a sex change operation. Ignoring the fact that he was married and his wife pregant.

https://goo.gl/wxomfH

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 19, 2015 09:22 AM (iQIUe)

80 MTF: I was told there would be buxom wenches here today.

Sorry. Ace's Wenches Budget got used up on his private stash. All they could afford for the commenters was Lena Dunham and me. How do you like my booty, sailor?

Posted by: De-Bruced Jenner at September 19, 2015 09:22 AM (f/ass)

81 Even though my wife goes to the gym an hour each morning and never eats anything like that, she couldn't resist the fresh ones.

Posted by: jwest at September 19, 2015 09:18 AM (Zs4uk)

No one can. The guy who's father started KK is in my club. He has a copy of the formula.

Nice guy. HOT wife. A little spacey, but HOT.

Posted by: Harry Reid, Pederast at September 19, 2015 09:23 AM (jJRIy)

82 off read sock

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 19, 2015 09:23 AM (jJRIy)

83 If my memory is not utterly failing I seem to recall that Blackbeard actually was a tax accountant with a Monday to Friday job. He only pirated on weekends and holidays. He would get together with some of the boys from work and dress up, grab a case of Bud Light, weave some burning flintlock fuses into his beard and gallivant among the day trippers out of Charleston. Like a hobby pirate.

That is if my memory is not utterly failing.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 19, 2015 09:23 AM (NeFrd)

84 What, hey, they didn't have a corporate softball league back then!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 19, 2015 09:24 AM (NeFrd)

85 Off for the three S's. Shit, shower and shave.

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 19, 2015 09:25 AM (jJRIy)

86 For the brandisher of ampersands, fear no more:

SciShow: How to escape quicksand
https://youtu.be/n7aHW-Zfzq4

Posted by: mindful webworker - abe linkin at September 19, 2015 09:26 AM (f/ass)

87 >>>> (Posted by: De-Bruced Jenner at September 19, 2015 09:22 AM (f/ass)

-----

Lol! ( f/ass) is probably the best hash since andycanuck had orgy as his

Posted by: L, Elle at September 19, 2015 09:26 AM (2x3L+)

88 []iA Yankee ship came down the river
Blow, boys, blow!
Her masts and spars they shone like silver
Blow my bully boys blow!

How do you know she's a Yankee liner?
Blow, boys, blow!
The Stars and Stripes float out behind her.
Blow my bully boys blow!
...
Then blow, my bullies, all together,
Blow, boys, blow!
Blow, my boys, for better weather.
Blow my bully boys blow!
...

Posted by: Harry Reid, Eric Fanning and Kevin Jennings at September 19, 2015 09:27 AM (NOIQH)

89 That is if my memory is not utterly failing.

You may be thinking of Stede Bonnet. He was just trying to get away from his wife...

Posted by: Grey Fox at September 19, 2015 09:27 AM (bZ7mE)

90 Nood

Posted by: Y-not at September 19, 2015 09:27 AM (0Iy+I)

91 Well, we're getting close to the magic 100 comments, so I'll go O/T.

Remember Islamic Clock Boy who was handcuffed for his homemade clock?

Starting at Zippy's place, we wind up at this excellent article diving into the internals of the "Homemade Clock"

http://blogs.artvoice.com/techvoice/?p=571

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 19, 2015 09:27 AM (VPLuQ)

92 In the movies I could never understand why quicksand took so long to kill someone.

Given the name and all.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 19, 2015 09:28 AM (NeFrd)

93 "Prairie Pirates are still a nuisance, though. Scary when you see a prairie schooner approaching under the black flag...."

Hard alee, drop the main sail, ready the coxswain guns.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 19, 2015 09:28 AM (9ORmX)

94 Instead of the capture of Blackbeard, I thought that was a painting showing the mass tort lawyer scum Dewey Cheatem-Nhowe being lambasted by a group of defense attorneys in federal court.

By the way, it was nice of Bobby Jindal to do a
"talk like a pirate" video for us all.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at September 19, 2015 09:29 AM (ej1L0)

95 L, Elle: Will there be spitting upon hands, hoisting of black flags, and slitting of throats on this thread?

Oh, of course not. That saying at the top of every single page of Ace's blog is just there for fun. You're not supposed to take it seriously. You know, like when Iranians chant "Death to America" or black militants scream "Kill the Pigs" - it's just talk....

Posted by: mindful webworker - abe linkin at September 19, 2015 09:29 AM (f/ass)

96 In the movies I could never understand why quicksand took so long to kill someone.

Given the name and all.

Quicksand, as opposed to ordinary dead sand.

Posted by: Grey Fox at September 19, 2015 09:29 AM (bZ7mE)

97 Is quicksand actually a real thing? I always thought it was like an urban legend type thing like unicorns and leprachauns

Posted by: L, Elle at September 19, 2015 09:30 AM (2x3L+)

98 >>Douchebag actor who murdered the couple said he did it to finance a sex change operation.

But remember, kids, people who believe their body is at war with their perceived gender identity are totes stable individuals, and we should reorganize are entire society to accommodate them, including access to our kids for "tolerance" training and such!!

Posted by: Harry Reid, Eric Fanning and Kevin Jennings at September 19, 2015 09:30 AM (NOIQH)

99
Remember the Mary Rose? How come no one noticed it was too low in the water and would flood?

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 19, 2015 09:32 AM (iQIUe)

100 "Is quicksand actually a real thing? I always thought it was like an urban legend type thing like unicorns and leprachauns"

Yes/no. Not like the movies though.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 19, 2015 09:32 AM (9ORmX)

101 I love the sea and when I was a kid I pretended that Lake Michigan was the ocean - you can't see across it so it's easy to do, although knowing that Michigan was on the other side is not exactly as romantic as knowing Asia or Europe was on the other side.

However, all coasts and even lakefronts seem to be jam packed with leftists. Moonbats love water like fat boys love ice cream and that's most unfortunate.

Posted by: Donna&&&&V. (brandisher of ampersands) at September 19, 2015 09:33 AM (P8951)

102 Lafitte helped Andrew Jackson win the battle of New Orleans. He was a relatively nice pirate.

Posted by: stace. Ahoy, horde! at September 19, 2015 09:33 AM (3q554)

103 Will there be spitting upon hands, hoisting of black flags, and slitting of throats on this thread?

Not likely. However, once the football-n-elbows pic goes up, there will be some cutlass polishing.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 19, 2015 09:34 AM (JO9+V)

104 >>Is quicksand actually a real thing? I always thought it was like an urban legend type thing like unicorns and leprechauns

Aye lassie, it be too real.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 19, 2015 09:35 AM (OGm46)

105 Posted by: mindful webworker - abe linkin at September 19, 2015 09:26 AM (f/ass)

What a relief!

Posted by: Donna&&&&V. (brandisher of ampersands) at September 19, 2015 09:39 AM (P8951)

106 However, all coasts and even lakefronts seem to be jam packed with leftists. Moonbats love water like fat boys love ice cream and that's most unfortunate.
Posted by: Donna&&&&V. (brandisher of ampersands) at September 19, 2015 09:33 AM (P8951)

That is so true, except perhaps for the Gulf coast. This is a working coast. Lefties are allergic to people who work with their hands producing food and petroleum products. The island town I'm in right now is pretty conservative.

Posted by: stace. Ahoy, horde! at September 19, 2015 09:40 AM (3q554)

107 >>That is so true, except perhaps for the Gulf coast. This is a working coast. Lefties are allergic to people who work with their hands producing food and petroleum products. The island town I'm in right now is pretty conservative.

It be anywhere that ships put to sea. Me mates and I sail in waters that were once patrolled by the scourge of piracy. Not many liberal dogs at sea.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 19, 2015 09:45 AM (OGm46)

108 Y-not said use the next thread for politics and this one for fun & games, or something like that.

Herding cats. A horde of Moron cats.

Posted by: mindful webworker - yeah, sure at September 19, 2015 09:45 AM (f/ass)

109 Arrrgh, me hearties.

Parrot for breakfast?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 19, 2015 09:46 AM (LUgeY)

110 Remember the Mary Rose? How come no one noticed it was too low in the water and would flood?

New technology, plus it had been rebuilt over its lifetime. The real problem, though, was poor handling and command/crew discipline problems that led to it heeling over with its gunports open.

Posted by: Grey Fox at September 19, 2015 09:46 AM (bZ7mE)

111 I get a sense that Galveston (the city of) is fairly liberal. Or it could be that I'm still butthurt over the Seawall Parking Fee scheme.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 19, 2015 09:48 AM (JO9+V)

112 Aarrrggg!!!! Laddies and lassies, Aye com hear to lighten ya wallets so'an Aye kin keep a'writin....

https://www.gofundme.com/8k4zdgw9

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 19, 2015 09:52 AM (jjDwK)

113 Great! "We come on the Sloop John B/my grandfather and me/ around Nassau Town we did roam..." is now in my head and I can't get it out.

It's a good song, but I think the pirates who used to roam around Nassau would have made the Beach Boys walk the plank the second they heard the falsetto...

Posted by: Donna&&&&V. (brandisher of ampersands) at September 19, 2015 09:53 AM (P8951)

114 I might add that the last analysis of the hull design of the Mary Rose indicates that it was actually a quite sophisticated and intelligent design, but one intended to maximize performance in smooth seas and low winds. She was a coastal warship, not designed to fight out at sea in heavy weather. Under the conditions for which she was designed her low gunports were not the problem they might appear at first glance.

Posted by: Grey Fox at September 19, 2015 09:55 AM (bZ7mE)

115 What's a pirate to do when his sea legs get rusty?
And all the wind has left his sails?
I'm going down south to where noone's gonna find me.
Sleeping on the beach with a dark-thighed girl.

Down in Cote Blanche Bay.

http://tinyurl.com/lex7www

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 19, 2015 09:56 AM (NeFrd)

116 It's a good song, but I think the pirates who used to roam around Nassau
would have made the Beach Boys walk the plank the second they heard the
falsetto...

Belay the hate on the ' Boys! Else ye be marooned on Kokomo for eternity.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 19, 2015 09:57 AM (JO9+V)

117 I was also afraid of quicksand and piranha.

Right?

I try to explain this to my kids. Pretty much every movie and TV show had quicksand, and more than piranha I remember nitroglycerin.

I was convinced that to survive life you had to know how to deal with quicksand and nitroglycerin.

Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at September 19, 2015 09:58 AM (1xUj/)

118 She was sunk off the coast and not in high seas.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 19, 2015 10:00 AM (iQIUe)

119 Obligatory - Pirates by Emerson, Lake & Palmer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_MG0ja2iD4

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 19, 2015 10:01 AM (LUgeY)

120 >>I was convinced that to survive life you had to know how to deal with quicksand and nitroglycerin.

I've not come across either quicksand nor nitro in me travels but I actually fished for the wiley Piranha in the Amazon. True story you scurvy dogs.

Easiest fish in the world to catch. Tie a hocked line to the end of a bamboo pole. Attach a hunk of meat, any old meat will do to the hook, drop in the water and beat the surface of the water with the tip of the pole. Piranha will fight each other to get at the meat.

The trick is getting the little devils off the hook.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 19, 2015 10:03 AM (OGm46)

121
We were told that the guy across the street's grandfather was eaten by piranha so that made it extra extra scarey.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 19, 2015 10:05 AM (iQIUe)

122 How abut sum Arrogant Worms there

https://youtu.be/8FbV4zT_ZTY

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 19, 2015 10:05 AM (jjDwK)

123 Speaking of stuff we imagined as kids: As a child I always imagined beer and wine to taste more or less like root beer and Cheerwine or sweet tea (cheerwine is a cherry soft drink, for those not in the Carolinas). Well, yesterday I picked up a six-pack of Not-Your-Father's-Root-Beer, which describes itself as ale with a taste of spices. Turns out it is pretty much hard root beer, sweet and sassafrassy...Funny thing is, I'm not sure I really care for it! Too sweet...

Posted by: Grey Fox at September 19, 2015 10:06 AM (bZ7mE)

124
The trick is getting the little devils off the hook.
Posted by: JackStraw at September 19, 2015 10:03 AM (OGm46)

Are piranha eatable?

I was always scared of them because I had the idea that once you fell into the piranha infested Amazon, you'd be in the piranha's digestive tracts in like 3 seconds.

Of course, that was before I knew about the nasty barbed fish that swims up dicks. Most guys might find death by piranha preferable to that.

Posted by: Donna&&&&V. (brandisher of ampersands) at September 19, 2015 10:11 AM (P8951)

125 She was sunk off the coast and not in high seas.

Of course. Specifically, she caught a breeze and heeled over unexpectedly while sailing out of harbor in the face of an enemy fleet.

My point was that the low gunports should not automatically be considered a design flaw in the context of her mission profile. Now, I do believe that after her rebuild she sat lower in the water than originally designed, which was not good, but overall I think the incompetence of her commander, who was apparently inexperienced and unwilling to listen to his social inferiors who did know something about the sea, is at least as much to blame for her sinking as is her design.

Posted by: Grey Fox at September 19, 2015 10:12 AM (bZ7mE)

126 >>Are piranha eatable?

They are pretty much all skin, bone and teeth although the locals claimed they ate them in a stew/soup. Pass.

We stayed at this place

http://www.ariautowers.com

which is one of the coolest things I've ever done. Swim with pink dolphins, monkeys everywhere and I do mean everywhere .. would sit on our deck and stare at us while we slept, nighttime trips into the backwaters to hunt for crocodiles, and hikes through the Amazon where you will more funky shit than you can imagine including some enormous snakes.

Not recommended for ATC. Insects are freaky deaky.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 19, 2015 10:18 AM (OGm46)

127 I still remember being offered tiny piranha in clear Lucite as souvenirs when I was in Colombia. Emeralds and gold yes, piranha, even dead, pass.

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 19, 2015 10:21 AM (jjDwK)

128 Quicksand, nitroglycerin, piranhas- yes. All important things to know how to deal with. But the thing I worried about as a kid was the rattlesnake bite.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 19, 2015 10:22 AM (NeFrd)

129 I assume the "film strip" look is a CG effect vs. putting the video onto celluloid and then beating the crap out of it and recapturing it off a wall.

Posted by: DaveA at September 19, 2015 10:25 AM (DL2i+)

130 Arrr, sodomy. Sodomy! YARR!

Posted by: Planned Parenthood at September 19, 2015 10:28 AM (3tjn4)

131 Quicksand scared the crap out of me

I got stuck in a mudslide once upto my knees. You really know your stuck when your Irish Setter won't let you lean on him to pry yourself out. Yay for neighbors with rope.

Posted by: DaveA at September 19, 2015 10:30 AM (DL2i+)

132 Posted by: JackStraw at September 19, 2015 10:18 AM (OGm46)

Very cool, although I don't know if I could handle the insects either. Maybe with enough valium...

Posted by: Donna&&&&V. (brandisher of ampersands) at September 19, 2015 10:37 AM (P8951)

133 I have encountered quicksand on a sandy beach, where a freshwater spring was welling up through the sand. Step in it, and your foot sinks in quite a way, and pulling it out is hard.

But what it is really, is a "fluidized bed", and its bulk density is much greater than plain water, so a human will float really high in it. So, if you ever step into quicksand with both feet, and begin to sink, throw yourself flat, wait for your legs to float free, which they will once the weight of your body is off them, and then roll to solid ground.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 19, 2015 10:37 AM (7MWCL)

134 Not bad-assed enough to be fluffy the pirate. If you're not 6' 8" and bald you sound like the forecastle's 'girlfriend'.

Sorry, don't know how to spell fo'c'sle.

Posted by: fluffy at September 19, 2015 10:38 AM (2iV3X)

135 'World Talk Like a Pirate Day' falls squarely between 'World Suicide Prevention Day' and 'World Rabies Day.'

Posted by: RNB at September 19, 2015 10:43 AM (1/fQ0)

136 134 Not bad-assed enough to be fluffy the pirate

Well, being "fluffy the pirate" works against you immediately...

Posted by: Donna&&&&V. (brandisher of ampersands) at September 19, 2015 10:44 AM (P8951)

137 Ok you scurvy dogs, I'm off to satisfy me boat lust at the boat show. I shall toast the first rum to the horde.

Have a great day all.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 19, 2015 10:48 AM (OGm46)

138 Only a month has passed since National Potato Day and we're already up to pirates.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 19, 2015 11:04 AM (75uvI)

139
Fluffy, the Bad-Ass Pirate! Yeah, it will work.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 19, 2015 11:13 AM (iQIUe)

140 Of course, we've no idea what Caribbean pirates actually sounded like. It's unlikely there was a common accent at all. The "pirate talk" we think of today was made up by Hollywood. So this commemorative day really celebrates Hollywood. And if you celebrate Hollywood you celebrate Ben Affleck and Jane Fonda. And that, sirs and madames, is an indulgence I shall decline! Good day!

Posted by: Blacklake at September 19, 2015 11:52 AM (b9GlI)

141 Arrr! Splice the mainbrace, ye scurvy scum!

Posted by: mojo at September 19, 2015 12:13 PM (OmBeX)

142 The origin of what we think of as The Pirate Accent is Cornwall; one of the defining actors for Long John Silver, Robert Newton, was from a village in Cornwall where that was the common accent.

Arr!!!!!!

Posted by: Thing from Snowy Mountain at September 19, 2015 12:18 PM (ZytDB)

143 Talk like a pirate? Okay:

Bowdada sare loo qaado iyo in la diyaariyo in la saqaf!

Posted by: Trimegistus at September 19, 2015 12:46 PM (BJN55)

144 There's a species of vegetarian piranha down in Costa Rica. They frenzy-feed just like the regular piranha, but only eat fruits and vegetables.

Get your kids to wade out into the shallows for a picture, then throw a handful of melon rinds in and scream, "Piranha!!".

Hilarious.

Posted by: Old Tom at September 19, 2015 12:49 PM (w/w6M)

145 28
>>>Blackbeard was a badass. I'd vote for him.

And his treasure was YUUUUUGE! He could buy and sell you! So vote for him!

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at September 19, 2015 11:23 PM (Kucy5)

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