Are These Something?

Commenters have posted two good clips from Comic-Con.

First, a Star Wars 7 (The Force Awakens) promotional clip which emphasizes, over and over, in an increasingly obvious and increasingly uncomfortable repudiation of George Lucas, that they are using old-style movie magic -- real sets, real puppetry/mechanically-animated masks, and real Chewbacca and real R2-D2.

Seriously, Lucas? You had to CGI such easy-to-do-practically characters? They were easy enough to do in 1977, when you had like $10 million to spend.

Hard to not think they're on to something here. It does all seem like great fun.

Why are there all these Imperial ships crashed on Tattooine? I assume they'll say there was some big fight there, that we didn't see; but who would fight over Tattooine? As Luke said, "if there's a a bright center to the universe, you're the farthest place from it."

It's a backwater. It's a shithole. They farm sand, for crying out loud. Their chief exports are blue milk, xenoleeks, and rape by Sandpeople.

Their only forms of entertainment are Space Dixieland Jazz and power converters.

Who would contest this planet? Why would one navy send its ships there, let alone two (which is what is required for a battle)? Update: This brilliant commenter proposes an answer that makes sense to me. Update: A commenter says the desert planet is not Tattooine, but a different desert planet, "Jakku."

Then, the new Batman v. Superman trailer, which looks good. Many people noted that Superman didn't really save Metropolis in the last film -- the city was destroyed, and honestly, it was all inadvertently Superman's fault. (The villains followed him to earth, to get the "Codex" out of his bloodstream.)

Well, that pays off in the sequel. As you'll see, someone was in Metropolis that day, and is a little traumatized by seeing Superman level the whole city (okay, he wasn't trying to, but...), and that provides some pretty decent motivation for that character.

Bonus: you see the Third Character everyone is curious about. In fact, you might get a quick glimpse at the Fourth Character, but I'm not sure of that.

Drawback: Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor is pretty much as weak as you were expecting.

Next up: Michael Cera as Apocalypse.

I do like Luthor's lines, though. Lately they've given Luthor an understandable motivation for hating Superman: 1, Luthor is an egomaniac and is just threatened by the Man of Tomorrow, and 2, Luthor honestly views Superman as a threat to humanity, and, being a messianic narcissist, sees himself as the crusading hero who will save humanity from this alien threat (and then be celebrated by mankind as a near god himself).

Given the mayhem in Man of Steel -- which is now, frankly, starting to make sense dramatically, at least for the sequel -- one can understand why Luthor despises this alien false god and wants to reclaim earth for humanity.

Question: We know that the movie will not end with Batman and Superman fighting each other. Spoiler alert: They will, like all Heroes Who Fight Each Other, unite against a common villain at the end.

But which one? A Batman villain is teased, but I doubt very much he'll be in this.

Zod's dead body is shown -- but he's dead.

So who will the villain be?

Might Luthor will attempt to recreate Zod (or any Kryptonian) from Zod's blood (and maybe some of Supes' blood; surely he bled some in that big fight and of course Lex collected it) and screw it up and create... Bizarro?

But Bizarro is kind of a silly character.

Unless they just go for Zombie Monster Giant Ugly Scary Bizarro.

Which would fit this series.

Posted by: Ace at 05:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 * nurses bruised shin *

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 11, 2015 05:03 PM (9mTYi)

2 Super pumped up for both of these. Hey, maybe Western civilization is headed down the crapper, but between these and Marvel, I'm gonna have a real fine fantasy bubble in which to ensconce myself for the next ten years or so.

Here's hoping for Nightwing, who would fit this DC universe's timeframe perfectly! (Nightwing = grown-up Dick Grayson, aka original Robin, coolest comics character of all time)

Posted by: Doctor Cynic at July 11, 2015 05:05 PM (rzggC)

3 No one ever answered my question. What is 29 in Ewok years?

Posted by: Nip Sip at July 11, 2015 05:06 PM (0FSuD)

4 i think there is a reference to Jason todd in the clip, though I'm not sure. (The vandalized bat-suit, which I think might be a Robin-suit.)

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:06 PM (bhepQ)

5 >>>No one ever answered my question. What is 29 in Ewok years?

it's actually 28. I *will be* 29, next year.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:06 PM (bhepQ)

6 Nerd alert!

Posted by: Chi at July 11, 2015 05:08 PM (xVSXE)

7 Why fight over Tatooine? Meeting engagement. Both fleets were looking for the other and that's just where they met. Like Gettysburg or Little Bighorn. Sometimes neither side chooses the site of a battle.

As for the evil force that unites Batman and Superman, I am going to guess its a combination of the IRS and the EPA.

Posted by: JB1000 at July 11, 2015 05:08 PM (WLJbV)

8 MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH.

Posted by: First-Rate Political Hack at July 11, 2015 05:08 PM (cK/SS)

9 Hah!

Willow summons Zod.

OSHA now requires shin guards at AoS.

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid at July 11, 2015 05:08 PM (AxDuC)

10 I'm sad that I'm not incredibly jazzed about "Batman and Superman" or any of the other superhero movies. I'm kind of burned out.

I DVR'ed "Gotham", "The Flash" and "Marvel's Agents of Shield - Season Two" to watch later.

Then one week, I realized that I had 60 hours of viewing for just those three series. I deleted them all and felt so much better.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at July 11, 2015 05:10 PM (AC0lD)

11 Sorry, but the B vs. S flick insists on itself.

It really does.

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:11 PM (MQEz6)

12 Who would contest Attu and Kiska, in the Aleutians?

"If there is a bright spot to the Pacific, you would be farthest from it". Check.

They harvest rocks, scrub grass, and fog. Check.

Once the battles would be over, both sides would likely say, "what the hell did we fight over this place for?"

But of course, it would never happen. Who on earth would fight for Attu and Kiska?

Posted by: Andrew X at July 11, 2015 05:11 PM (ZMKRQ)

13 Can't think of a Superman movie yet where I wasn't rooting for Lex Luther.

This doesn't look like it will be the exception.

Posted by: AD at July 11, 2015 05:12 PM (xOWkB)

14 Re: bad ads sidebar item--it's certainly happened a lot lately, and I don't even have to click on an ad. Probably every 4th or 5th time I reload the front page I get redirected to the App Store on my iPhone. Not a problem on comments.

I'm glad you posted this. I was starting to wonder if I had malware running through my phone.

Posted by: Conservative Crank's iPhone at July 11, 2015 05:12 PM (Gosad)

15 Meh. I don't do Sci Fi flicks. Course, I am not a 20 something single guy with time to kill.

Posted by: Nip Sip at July 11, 2015 05:14 PM (0FSuD)

16 There was only one Star Destoyer wreck, I think.

It could have been damaged and on the run and crashed there.

No fleet battle needed.

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:14 PM (MQEz6)

17 The Walking Dead preview looks good. They imply, but I dont believe it, that Morgan plans to take Rick out. Glenn is still alive and some how the walkers are able to climb high to get over those metal walls they set up.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 11, 2015 05:15 PM (iQIUe)

18 >>>here was only one Star Destoyer wreck, I think.

clip also shows downed TIE fighters.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:16 PM (bhepQ)

19 Zombies look a lot faster. Maybe, they have been eating well?

Personally, I could never get over my fear of them and I hate how they will go out there and wander around with them or have them gaa and gaa just a few feet away.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 11, 2015 05:16 PM (iQIUe)

20
17 The Walking Dead preview looks good. They imply, but I dont believe it, that Morgan plans to take Rick out. Glenn is still alive and some how the walkers are able to climb high to get over those metal walls they set up.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 11, 2015 05:15 PM (iQIUe)

I hate that show.

It turns the stupid dial to eleven.

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:16 PM (MQEz6)

21 i suppose the TIE could just be part of the star destroyer's complement.

and i suppose further the star destroyer might have been fleeing, after the fall of the empire, and then hunted down and destroyed at Tattooine.

And it would make sense to flee to Tattooine... given that it's a shithole where you could maybe just disappear.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:17 PM (bhepQ)

22 Luthor despises this alien false god and wants to reclaim earth for humanity.

=====

didn't he have a kid with an alien broad?

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at July 11, 2015 05:17 PM (Cq0oW)

23
18 >>>here was only one Star Destoyer wreck, I think.

clip also shows downed TIE fighters.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:16 PM (bhepQ)

They crashed, too.

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:18 PM (MQEz6)

24 Do we know the planet is Tatooine? There are an awful lot of desert planets in the universe--maybe it's Arrakis.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:18 PM (VAsIq)

25 didn't he have a kid with an alien broad?

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich

False alien messiahs are one thing, hot alien poon another.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:19 PM (VAsIq)

26
Sorry, but the B vs. S flick insists on itself.
It really does.
Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:11 PM

_______________
Hmm...

*strokes chin*

cromulent

Posted by: TJ Camper, Stream-Crosser at July 11, 2015 05:19 PM (Vw+Ih)

27 Yeah I can no longer look at AoSHQ on my iphone. Every time I get about 3 second look, then get directed to either an add or the *@#*$& itunes store.

Posted by: Jade Sea at July 11, 2015 05:20 PM (7pz+3)

28 The planet shown thus far in the Star Wars trailers is a new planet Jakku not Tatooine.

Posted by: Chappy at July 11, 2015 05:20 PM (8E3mH)

29 "Seriously, Lucas? You had to CGI such easy-to-do-practically characters?"

He has/had a production studio. It invents and develops tech for the film industry.

Naturally he would push his tech in his products even if it isn't necessary because of the chance to sell and license his studio's products. Also, many are followers and not pioneers which helps Lucas. If even the most trivial is over-engineered, followers and their producers think, "Well, if Lucas is doing it this way, it must be the way it should be done. Let's call George and buy/license his tools."

And that's why so many movies get by not on compelling story/dialogue but on eye candy. And who doesn't want to see a star cruiser attacked by ten ships when you can miss all the minutiae of an attack by 500 ships?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 11, 2015 05:21 PM (1CroS)

30
24 Do we know the planet is Tatooine? There are an awful lot of desert planets in the universe--maybe it's Arrakis.
Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:18 PM (VAsIq)

How did humans get to a different galaxy?

Abducted?

Tree trunk FTL?

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:21 PM (MQEz6)

31 NEEERRRRDDDS!

Posted by: Ogre at July 11, 2015 05:21 PM (GOtvx)

32 Affleck, Hunter, and Eisenberg. Will there be a single line of dialogue that isn't mumbled, slurred, or lisped? Is there a Speech Impediment Oscars that they're shooting for?

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at July 11, 2015 05:21 PM (nFdGS)

33 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMQYzKhsnGM

trump rally live.

Posted by: First-Rate Political Hack at July 11, 2015 05:21 PM (cK/SS)

34 Is Otto in this Superman flick?

Just asking just in case the coastal part of California somehow falls into the ocean.

Posted by: Sasquatch, the trans-Wookie Original at July 11, 2015 05:23 PM (LXGhS)

35 srsly guys , is it my perfume? my hair?
sniff.. two posts in the last 20 minutes

Posted by: willow at July 11, 2015 05:23 PM (nqBYe)

36 >>>The planet shown thus far in the Star Wars trailers is a new planet Jakku not Tatooine.

i did not know that.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:23 PM (bhepQ)

37 CHAPPY SAYS TATOO IS JAKKU!

Posted by: New York Post! at July 11, 2015 05:23 PM (7d8Ef)

38 I was given a Star Wars parody novel when I was a kid, called The Star Dwarves Travesty. There was one scene in particular I recall: the Luke character, in the briefing before heading up to destroy the first Death Star, keeps staring at the alien next to him, and his weird nose. "Excuse me," said the Dickface, "but where I come from it's considered rude to look at another person's junk."

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:23 PM (VAsIq)

39 I thought they said the desert planet in the trailer WASN'T Tattooine...

Posted by: Zombie Nixon at July 11, 2015 05:25 PM (6i4P9)

40 Did anyone else check to see if there was a new post after 35?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:25 PM (VAsIq)

41 What the world needs now.....is Darkwing Duck....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at July 11, 2015 05:25 PM (AC0lD)

42

Question: We know that the movie will not end with Batman and
Superman fighting each other. Spoiler alert: They will, like all Heroes
Who Fight Each Other, unite against a common villain at the end.
But which one?

Khhhhaaaaaaaaaaannnnn!

Posted by: Shatner at July 11, 2015 05:26 PM (o78gS)

43 I s'pose an an entry to geophysical considerations the SciFi angle is marginally acceptable.
Better, we, the people, would be adequately educated.
No joy, in Mudville, OH, for example.

Posted by: Yet Another Amos Singletary-type, the type that inherits the earth, no matter the solar output calcu at July 11, 2015 05:26 PM (0608v)

44 What the world needs now.....is Darkwing Duck....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel

Suck gas, evildoer!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:26 PM (VAsIq)

45 Except the whole concept of Wonder Woman in this movie is just plain fugly. They gave her the Xena costume treatment. Only in the brightest of lights will you see the red or the blue or the gold in her uniform.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:26 PM (dZtj4)

46 Prncess Adriana:

"OMG, I just got back from Naboo and it was so much nicer than Jakku! Why did I go there?!"

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:27 PM (MQEz6)

47 "The planet shown thus far in the Star Wars trailers is a new planet Jakku not Tatooine."

That's no planet.

Posted by: Obi-Wan Kenobi at July 11, 2015 05:27 PM (1CroS)

48 Starring Brian Dennehy as Jakku.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:27 PM (VAsIq)

49
Why are there all these Imperial ships crashed on Tattooine?

It's not Tattooine, it's Endor 30 years after.

Global Warming caused by reckless use of shield generators turned Redwood National Forest into The Nefud Desert.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 11, 2015 05:28 PM (egLDQ)

50 TATOOINE IS JAKKU?

FORCE, WE MUCH!

Posted by: The Rev. Al Sharpton, Sith Wash-Out at July 11, 2015 05:28 PM (fFC/K)

51 >>>Except the whole concept of Wonder Woman in this movie is just plain fugly. They gave her the Xena costume treatment. Only in the brightest of lights will you see the red or the blue or the gold in her uniform.

given what they did to Superman's outfit, Wonder Woman got off easy.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:28 PM (bhepQ)

52 Except the whole concept of Wonder Woman in this movie is just plain fugly. They gave her the Xena costume treatment.

----

I'd like to get the Xena treatment, IYKWIMAITTYD.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:28 PM (VAsIq)

53 >>>Luthor despises this alien false god and wants to reclaim earth for humanity.<<<

This is very much the story of Obama... and Donald Trump(?)

(Well Lex and teh Donald, at times, are both wealthy, and have bad/no hair)

Posted by: Trump/Luthor 2016! at July 11, 2015 05:29 PM (+rqeM)

54
Question I've had for a while about Tatooine--what provides the atmosphere the inhabitants breathe?

Posted by: irongrampa at July 11, 2015 05:29 PM (jeCnD)

55 Hinterlands. Mao did that during the civil war in China before WWII.

Mon Motha, Luke, Leia, and others will be too busy trying to consolidate power out of Coruscant to worry about the hinterlands.

So yeah the bitter clingers and dead-enders will try to regroup in obscure places.

Hey be nice to see Admiral Thrawn show up.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:29 PM (dZtj4)

56 Zack Snyder wanted Superman to look less silly, so he made his suit... made of glitter.

But glitter that looks somber in the right lighting, you see.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:30 PM (bhepQ)

57 4 i think there is a reference to Jason todd in the clip, though I'm not sure. (The vandalized bat-suit, which I think might be a Robin-suit.)
Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:06 PM (bhepQ)

I bet that's right.

I'm trying to keep myself unspoiled re: Ep VII, but I think I read a rumor that that's another desert-y wasteland planet, not Tatooine. Hope so - I can buy Jabba being there for RotJ, although it's an awfully unlikely coincidence in a galaxy with thousands of inhabited systems, but I thought going back there for TPM was too much (although it's way down on the list if that movie's problems). Hopefully JJ will leave Tatooine alone. (We'll see enough of it when Ewan McGregor signs for the Obi-Wan trilogy in the Jundtland Wastes, with appearance by kid Luke).

Posted by: Doctor Cynic at July 11, 2015 05:30 PM (rzggC)

58 Question I've had for a while about Tatooine--what provides the atmosphere the inhabitants breathe?

Posted by: irongrampa

Algae. You never see it, but Tatooine is, like, 90% ocean. The people are just too dumb/lazy to move fifty miles.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:31 PM (VAsIq)

59 >>.Question I've had for a while about Tatooine--what provides the atmosphere the inhabitants breathe?

hm... well, good point, but isn't it possible that some systems just have oxygen atmospheres that don't depend on plants pumping it out?

if all plants died on earth (fingers crossed!), O2 would drop a lot, but would it all be made into CO2?

Maybe there's not much free carbon on Tatooine to suck up oxygen.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:32 PM (bhepQ)

60 Zack Snyder wanted Superman to look less silly, so he made his suit... made of glitter.
Posted by: ace

Makes sense to me.

Posted by: George Takei, droppin da glitter bombs at July 11, 2015 05:32 PM (GOtvx)

61 Jakku is the sound of a Norwegian sneeze. You just have to pronounce it right with a soft "J".

Posted by: Ron Burgundy at July 11, 2015 05:33 PM (1CroS)

62 That was one of the most stupid things Lucas did when he 'fixed Return of the Jedi.

Emperor Palpatine is dead and everyone across the galaxy is on the Rebel side with fireworks. So they live happily ever after.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:33 PM (dZtj4)

63 Hey be nice to see Admiral Thrawn show up.

Posted by: Anna Puma

It's *Grand* Admiral.

Posted by: Grand Admiral Thrawn, red eyes glittering ominously at July 11, 2015 05:33 PM (VAsIq)

64
Algae. You never see it, but Tatooine is, like, 90% ocean. The people are just too dumb/lazy to move fifty miles.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:31 PM (VAsIq)

Well, the Sandpeople are obviously Bedouin-based, and therefore mohammedan. So, dumb/brutal.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 11, 2015 05:33 PM (egLDQ)

65 Yes. Jakku. That sounds right.

Posted by: Doctor Cynic at July 11, 2015 05:33 PM (rzggC)

66 When's the filming for Smokey and the Bantu starting? I'm available right now.

Posted by: Burt Reynolds at July 11, 2015 05:34 PM (LXGhS)

67 Oh wonderful we got another blue skinned alien just decanted from the Spatha chambers copping attitude.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:34 PM (dZtj4)

68 20- Eman- I agree TWD is almost non-watchable. If I had to survive a zombie apocalypse with people as irritating as some of these, I'd shoot THEM first, then deal with the zombies.

I don't deal with irritatingly stupid characters in these plotlines.

Posted by: Mr Wolf at July 11, 2015 05:35 PM (cjgnX)

69 It isn't Tatooine.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at July 11, 2015 05:35 PM (ukTrJ)

70 When's the filming for Smokey and the Bantu starting? I'm available right now.
Posted by: Burt Reynolds

I thought you were making Kessel-ball Run?

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Indestructible at July 11, 2015 05:35 PM (GOtvx)

71 Oh wonderful we got another blue skinned alien just decanted from the Spatha chambers copping attitude.

Posted by: Anna Puma

Rukh, dispatch of Ms. Puma.

Posted by: Grand Admiral Thrawn, red eyes narrowed dangerously at July 11, 2015 05:36 PM (VAsIq)

72 i noted in the post it's not tattooine... still, same thing: desert shithole. not exactly a thriving hub of commerce.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:36 PM (bhepQ)

73 Considering it's Hollywood, we're probably lucky Wonder Woman didn't get the Hillary Clinton treatment - pantsuits.

Just so voters will be subtly nudged towards thinking "There's something powerful about that Hillary Clinton that I can't put my finger on..."

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at July 11, 2015 05:36 PM (AC0lD)

74 Jakku? So have they heard from Studio Ghibli yet for possible infringement.. Yakku the red deer from Princess Mononoke.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:37 PM (dZtj4)

75 Even the Empire is going to have some presence in the Outer Rim, so it's possible that the Star Destroyer was destroyed during normal course of the war while on patrol and such.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 11, 2015 05:37 PM (10ydV)

76 The nerd is strong with this thread.

Posted by: Master joncelli at July 11, 2015 05:38 PM (ENczY)

77 i noted in the post it's not tattooine... still, same thing: desert shithole. not exactly a thriving hub of commerce.

Posted by: ace

It's all the oil buried under the sand. No more (star) wars for oil!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 11, 2015 05:38 PM (VAsIq)

78 "i noted in the post it's not tattooine... still, same thing: desert shithole. not exactly a thriving hub of commerce. "

Maybe, after the Rebellion, there were no more Star Wars generals left, so they had to fall back on the Star Trek ones that will wage massive battles over thousands of miles of empty space somewhere between solar systems.

Posted by: JSchuler at July 11, 2015 05:38 PM (6i4P9)

79 *sniggers and points a finger at Thrawn*

Go ahead and try Blue Goo Boy.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:38 PM (dZtj4)

80 Emperor Palpatine is dead and everyone across the galaxy is on the Rebel side with fireworks. So they live happily ever after.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:33 PM (dZtj4)

I like to think that two minutes after we see the people celebrating on Coruscant, the local authorities gunned down most of them and arrested and executed the ringleaders.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 11, 2015 05:39 PM (10ydV)

81 desert shithole. not exactly a thriving hub of commerce.
Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:36 PM

_______________
Dude, WTF?

Posted by: Qatar at July 11, 2015 05:39 PM (WDcSW)

82 I agree that Batman and Superman have to resolve their differences and join together in the end, but why does there have to be a common villain? Couldn't they just fall in love and get married?
And they could meet cute! And exchange witty banter throughout their perky love-hate conflicts! And accidentally catch each other once or twice in a state of partial nudity or perhaps in a particularly fetching ballgown--- whatever.

Damn. This has rom-com written all over it.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at July 11, 2015 05:39 PM (cN9Sk)

83 What's with Holly Hunter's voice? Like Albert Finney she took it to far and is now just a parody of herself.

Posted by: lowandslow at July 11, 2015 05:39 PM (dItuC)

84 I am uncomfortable with Supes being a "villain". It's like wiping vomit with a US Flag. Now Batman's a mental basket case - always has been. He has a "code against kililng" that he dances on the edge with. But he dresses up like a bat because "criminals are superstitious and will be afraid". He gets off on fear.

It is only a matter of stimuli until he decides "Amputation isn't 'killing', plus it scares criminals."

I don't like Batman.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at July 11, 2015 05:40 PM (ukTrJ)

85 hm... well, good point, but isn't it possible that some systems just have oxygen atmospheres that don't depend on plants pumping it out?

if all plants died on earth (fingers crossed!), O2 would drop a lot, but would it all be made into CO2?

Maybe there's not much free carbon on Tatooine to suck up oxygen.

--------------

Would have to be some sort of plant-based life unless there were creatures that photosynthesized their energy. I would imagine that photosynthesis doesn't supply enough energy for a creature to move about effectively, but this is just guessing.

Go with some sort of supercontinent like Pangea where Luke and family live inwards some distant. Not too much rain will fall and the desert(s) would be very large.

Posted by: Burt Reynolds at July 11, 2015 05:40 PM (LXGhS)

86 Go ahead and try Blue Goo Boy.

Posted by: Anna Puma

May I wander around your house for a few days to look at your artwork?

Posted by: Grand Admiral Thrawn, red eyes bloodshot maybe? at July 11, 2015 05:41 PM (VAsIq)

87 ColoradoAlex, I would have bought popcorn for that.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:41 PM (dZtj4)

88
i suppose the TIE could just be part of the star destroyer's complement.

and i suppose further the star destroyer might have been fleeing, after the fall of the empire, and then hunted down and destroyed at Tattooine.

And it would make sense to flee to Tattooine... given that it's a shithole where you could maybe just disappear.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:17 PM (bhepQ)

Nah. Tatooine is the location for the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy. The wreckage is the normal collateral damage from their training program.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 11, 2015 05:42 PM (egLDQ)

89 Off damned mustachioed sock!

Posted by: Sasquatch, the trans-Wookie Original at July 11, 2015 05:42 PM (LXGhS)

90 I really enjoy the DC animated films that they put out and then air on the Cartoon Network. Some of those have been very well done.

The 'Green Lantern' movie should have just recreated the Green Lantern animated movie they did which was very powerful, including a scene where the rings of dozens of dead Lanterns return to Oa (sp?) and fall to the ground.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at July 11, 2015 05:42 PM (AC0lD)

91 My artwork.

Well there is art by Miyazaki, Asamiya, Tucci, Shirow... plus Amano.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:43 PM (dZtj4)

92 Ace,

Chewbacca and R2-D2 were real were real in the prequels...

http://media.baselineresearch.com/images/363237/363237_full.jpg

Posted by: Serious Cat at July 11, 2015 05:44 PM (A3HPg)

93 isn't it possible that some systems just have oxygen atmospheres that don't depend on plants pumping it out?

Thermodynamically speaking, no. If not carbon, then iron, silicon, whatever.

Posted by: pep at July 11, 2015 05:44 PM (LAe3v)

94 Would have to be some sort of plant-based life unless there were creatures that photosynthesized their energy. I would imagine that photosynthesis doesn't supply enough energy for a creature to move about effectively, but this is just guessing.

Go with some sort of supercontinent like Pangea where Luke and family live inwards some distant. Not too much rain will fall and the desert(s) would be very large.
Posted by: Burt Reynolds at July 11, 2015 05:40 PM (LXGhS)

I can imagine a planet with a big continent with a vegetation belt/Super-Amazon that's uninhabitable for some reason; maybe too humid, or there's dinosaurs, or some other reason. So people move to the deserts that grow up behind some big-ass mountains. Oxygen gets made, there's a reason to have an atmosphere, and creatures can migrate out of the jungle and evolve into desert forms.

Posted by: Master joncelli at July 11, 2015 05:44 PM (ENczY)

95 >>>Would have to be some sort of plant-based life unless there were creatures that photosynthesized their energy

i guess but where is it?

even luke's far depends on "moisture vaporators" which, per Alan Dean Foster's novelization, "coax" water vapor from the air to water crops.

i suppose there might be some indigenous plant life that doesn't need water for metabolic transformations.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:44 PM (bhepQ)

96 Tatooine could have been a rather nice planet that degraded into a desert world.

That could happen much faster than losing a significant fraction of its oxygen.

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:45 PM (MQEz6)

97 First Video: CARAJO!

Second Video: CARAJO...

Posted by: Puta Madre at July 11, 2015 05:45 PM (HO/ku)

98 eman, you mean the Sahara writ large.

Why? The Sand People deforested the whole planet.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:46 PM (dZtj4)

99 Why? The Sand People deforested the whole planet.

They must really like sand.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at July 11, 2015 05:47 PM (bZQB+)

100 OT: I have a new recipe for Margaritas. It is, 'ow you say, magnifique.

Posted by: pep at July 11, 2015 05:47 PM (LAe3v)

101 i was going to say we don't KNOW tattoine has any indigenous life at all (beyond microbes) except that the Sandpeople seem indigenous, but they might not be (perhaps they were transplanted there as slaves, but rebelled), and there are those dinosaur bones that seem indigenous (but even there, we do not know that's indigenous -- one would naturally transport useful animals around to colonies. Maybe the dinosaur thing is a beast of burden, like the Banthas).

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:47 PM (bhepQ)

102 Temporary solution for the iPhone ad redirect problem:

Use the Opera mini browser instead of Safari for ace of spades.

Posted by: Glen at July 11, 2015 05:47 PM (1x4u/)

103 Sarlaccs and their under-sand relatives are the source of oxygen. They're a form of highly developed slime molds and stretch hundreds of miles, a few yards thick. They live on reflected sunlight (photosynthesis) and the occasional lizard/womp rat/rill/reek/dew back, or jawa. They harvest dew after sunset which collects in pockets of their extensive bodies.

They are harvested by moisture farmers who pump their sacs of water and organic compounds from separate sumps.

The End.

Posted by: Impatient Sith Lord at July 11, 2015 05:48 PM (ukTrJ)

104 Y'all have trouble on i-phones,

Maybe try turning off JavaScript. I am on an android device and am not affected, but I've seen some commenters say this has helped problems they've had in the recent past.

Posted by: Chi at July 11, 2015 05:49 PM (GkLNv)

105 oh yeah the sarlacc must be indigenous -- i can't see anyone transporting that to a colony, for any reason.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:49 PM (bhepQ)

106 Meh, I'm really burned out on Star Wars, super heroes and zombies. I've never liked anything J.J. Abrams has done and I can't stand many "big name" actors. This will be an easy pass for me. It's really a shame because I grew up liking so much of this stuff and now I could care less.

Posted by: Commissar M at July 11, 2015 05:49 PM (KSF9t)

107 'The dinosaur beast" is the skeleton of a Krayt Dragon.

It drops pearls from gizzard stones which are used by some force users as power concentrators for light sabers.

Posted by: Impatient Sith Lord at July 11, 2015 05:50 PM (ukTrJ)

108 MSNBC watching Trump Arizona , pounding shoe on desk

Posted by: DC at July 11, 2015 05:50 PM (TzeLs)

109 *checks IMDB*

And the Robotech live action movie is still in development limbo.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:50 PM (dZtj4)

110 98 eman, you mean the Sahara writ large.

Why? The Sand People deforested the whole planet.
Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:46 PM (dZtj4)

Two suns.

Maybe one brightened just a tad.

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:50 PM (MQEz6)

111
So what provides the carbon dioxide plant life requires to live on THIS planet?

Posted by: irongrampa at July 11, 2015 05:51 PM (jeCnD)

112 The problem with Tattooine is not oxygen. Microbial life is enough to make that happen, and not unreasonable for a desert planet. The problem is the megafauna. How could something like a krayt dragon evolve on there without plentiful food to sustain it?

Posted by: JSchuler at July 11, 2015 05:51 PM (6i4P9)

113 what is it with the star wars universe with sessile creatures who just sit in holes around which there is nothing but desert or the void of space, on the off chance someone might throw food into them, or a spaceship might fly into their mouths?

they just wait for food to happen in?

In the desert?

In outer space, on an asteroid?

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:51 PM (bhepQ)

114 108 MSNBC watching Trump Arizona , pounding shoe on desk
Posted by: DC at July 11, 2015 05:50 PM (TzeLs)

So he's threatening to bury us in bad rugs?

Posted by: Master joncelli at July 11, 2015 05:51 PM (ENczY)

115 Kill me now, he said, sorrowfully, after realizing his enormous amount of useless and quite nerdy information.

Kill me now.

Posted by: Impatient Sith Lord at July 11, 2015 05:51 PM (ukTrJ)

116 95 >>>Would have to be some sort of plant-based life unless there were creatures that photosynthesized their energy

i guess but where is it?

even luke's far depends on "moisture vaporators" which, per Alan Dean Foster's novelization, "coax" water vapor from the air to water crops.

i suppose there might be some indigenous plant life that doesn't need water for metabolic transformations.
Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:44 PM (bhepQ)

Sarlaacs are semi-floral and can extend under the surface for great lengths. Maybe those toothy maws are Tatooine's oxygen spew-holes.

Alternate theory: krayt dragons. Eat sand, fart oxygen.

Posted by: Doctor Cynic at July 11, 2015 05:52 PM (rzggC)

117 i guess but where is it?

------------

Think Sahara. Or even the Mojave. Both are quite dry but there still is some moisture in the air, around 5% to 10% humidity or so. So it would be possible to condense this moisture and use it.

Unfortunately for Luke's Uncle and Aunt, they either aren't near enough to a sufficiently large potable water source that can be piped in, and so they have to condense it out of the atmosphere.

Of course, it may well be that the Empire just plain sucks when it comes to creating the conditions for either the private or public means to build infrastructure to pipe in the water. One would think that this would be a gimme putt for a civilization as advanced as the Empire but they are as incompetent at administration as Chavez's Venezuela.

Posted by: Sasquatch, the trans-Wookie Original at July 11, 2015 05:52 PM (LXGhS)

118 Maybe Tattooine started out as a relatively dry planet (<30% water, for example), that underwent some cataclysm and is now primarily desert. Most of the water could be trapped in small ice caps, with a few green areas scattered around the planet in areas too remote/inhospitable/already occupied.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 11, 2015 05:52 PM (10ydV)

119 112 The problem with Tattooine is not oxygen. Microbial life is enough to make that happen, and not unreasonable for a desert planet. The problem is the megafauna. How could something like a krayt dragon evolve on there without plentiful food to sustain it?
Posted by: JSchuler at July 11, 2015 05:51 PM (6i4P9)

The Super-Amazon surrounded by desert idea accounts for that. The ones that come out into the desert are running from competition or something.

Posted by: Master joncelli at July 11, 2015 05:53 PM (ENczY)

120 >>>The problem with Tattooine is not oxygen. Microbial life is enough to make that happen, and not unreasonable for a desert planet. The problem is the megafauna. How could something like a krayt dragon evolve on there without plentiful food to sustain it?

if a krayt dragon has an economic utility, as someone upthread claimed, it would be brought to other planets.

many beasts in a starfaring empire would not be indigenous to the planet you see them on. just as Spaniards brought horses to the new world, you bring useful species with you.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:53 PM (bhepQ)

121
111
So what provides the carbon dioxide plant life requires to live on THIS planet?
Posted by: irongrampa at July 11, 2015 05:51 PM (jeCnD)

As here, animals,

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:53 PM (MQEz6)

122 "oh yeah the sarlacc must be indigenous -- i can't see anyone transporting that to a colony, for any reason. "

Sarlacc's aren't indigenous. They're found on planets throughout the galaxy. The one on Tattooine is Jabba's pet.

Posted by: JSchuler at July 11, 2015 05:54 PM (6i4P9)

123 Of course, it may well be that the Empire just plain sucks when it comes to creating the conditions for either the private or public means to build infrastructure to pipe in the water. One would think that this would be a gimme putt for a civilization as advanced as the Empire but they are as incompetent at administration as Chavez's Venezuela.

Posted by: Sasquatch, the trans-Wookie Original at July 11, 2015 05:52 PM (LXGhS)

Tattooine was Hutt-controlled in the prequels, so I doubt that they cared too much about improving it. Likely it was simply a waystation for starships where a poor community grew up around it.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 11, 2015 05:54 PM (10ydV)

124 It's secondary input, like roots on a venus fly trap plant. The Sarlacc gains most of its energy from sunlight. the pit is for defecation, mating, signalling, and opportunistic feeding - it is surrounded with an inverted cone of sand like an ant lion. It feeds on stupidity. It eats with it's ass and its dick.

Posted by: Impatient Sith Lord at July 11, 2015 05:54 PM (ukTrJ)

125 WTF is ace doing here on the weekend? Bars closed in Manhattan by DHS as a precaution?

Posted by: First-Rate Political Hack at July 11, 2015 05:54 PM (cK/SS)

126 Impatient Nerd beat me re: Sarlaac. I really need to start reading all the comments.

Posted by: Doctor Cynic at July 11, 2015 05:54 PM (rzggC)

127 >>>Think Sahara. Or even the Mojave. Both are quite dry but there still is some moisture in the air, around 5% to 10% humidity or so. So it would be possible to condense this moisture and use it.

Unfortunately for Luke's Uncle and Aunt, they either aren't near enough to a sufficiently large potable water source that can be piped in, and so they have to condense it out of the atmosphere.

...

it can't be that there are oases and water sources around but Luke's family is so fucking dumb they live in the sand and the rocks.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:54 PM (bhepQ)

128 "if a krayt dragon has an economic utility, as someone upthread claimed, it would be brought to other planets. "

But the krayt is indigenous to Tattooine, hence the problem.

Posted by: JSchuler at July 11, 2015 05:55 PM (6i4P9)

129 Thanks to whoever mentioned retrovision. I had never heard of it. Now watching the 1954 American tv version of Sherlock Holmes. 30 half-hour episodes. Should provide a lot of diversion.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 11, 2015 05:55 PM (2cS/G)

130 Outer space is filthy.

Posted by: Impatient Sith Lord at July 11, 2015 05:55 PM (ukTrJ)

131 I answered a question not asked.

Any one want to hear about what I have to say on Sense, Sensibility and Sea Monsters?

Posted by: Sasquatch, the trans-Wookie Original at July 11, 2015 05:56 PM (LXGhS)

132 >>But the krayt is indigenous to Tattooine, hence the problem.

maybe it eats magic vibes.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:56 PM (bhepQ)

133
it can't be that there are oases and water sources around but Luke's family is so fucking dumb they live in the sand and the rocks.

There are plenty of communities like that if you head out west. Some remote area becomes the site for mining or other economic activity, and people move in and eek out a living in the desert because it's close to where the work is.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 11, 2015 05:57 PM (10ydV)

134 Warner Bros just green lit the KILLING JOKE and it has the SJW all in a tizzy.

I mean why can't the Joker just bonk Barbara (BatGirl) on the head instead of you know, don't want to spoil it.

Their is a reason I watch Anime so UN-PC any time a character builds a bike made out of panty's or gets his Super Perv Powers from feeling up girls, these would never ever get made here.

Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at July 11, 2015 05:57 PM (c4yY7)

135 And how much of this Star Wars backstory is still cannon?

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:57 PM (dZtj4)

136 wait, obi wan retired to, and luke grew up on, the one planet in the galaxy which all Jedi have to go to to get their dumb crystals?

and for some reason, Jedi weren't always on this planet? And people didn't just know shit-tons about all the Jedi who must have (in the past) made pilgrimmages there?

This is getting Dumb.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:58 PM (bhepQ)

137 12
Who would contest Attu and Kiska, in the Aleutians?

"If there is a bright spot to the Pacific, you would be farthest from it". Check.

They harvest rocks, scrub grass, and fog. Check.

Once the battles would be over, both sides would likely say, "what the hell did we fight over this place for?"

But of course, it would never happen. Who on earth would fight for Attu and Kiska?

It was crucial, and the fact that these islands were worth nothing only amplifies the point. It was a contest of wills between a samurai culture whose adherents thought all you needed was the right mindset, and a very practical culture whose adherents knew that ideology was a dangerous and silly luxury, and no substitute for a cold-eyed assessment of reality.

Gee, I wonder why that seems so relevant to today?

Posted by: pep at July 11, 2015 05:59 PM (LAe3v)

138 127 >>>Think Sahara. Or even the Mojave. Both are quite dry but there still is some moisture in the air, around 5% to 10% humidity or so. So it would be possible to condense this moisture and use it.

Unfortunately for Luke's Uncle and Aunt, they either aren't near enough to a sufficiently large potable water source that can be piped in, and so they have to condense it out of the atmosphere.

...

it can't be that there are oases and water sources around but Luke's family is so fucking dumb they live in the sand and the rocks.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:54 PM (bhepQ)

Eventually, you have to do a lot of hand-waving.

Here's some: they are not dumb, just broke and in hiding.

Stay in the desert, stay poor, stay unnoticed.

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:59 PM (MQEz6)

139 Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 11, 2015 05:54 PM (10ydV)

That makes more sense than my answer.

Posted by: Sasquatch, the trans-Wookie Original at July 11, 2015 05:59 PM (LXGhS)

140 The Star Wars project looks cool. The Superman/Batman flick looks like a mess. I'll go back to watching Superhero (and Ape) films again when they start to chill out a little bit. The intensity doesn't always need to be at 11.

Posted by: joefl65 at July 11, 2015 06:00 PM (UFV5W)

141 "wait, obi wan retired to, and luke grew up on, the one planet in the galaxy which all Jedi have to go to to get their dumb crystals?"

No. Dantooine is where they get their crystals (green, blue, yellow). (Also the place Leia tries to pawn off as being the location of the Rebel base to Tarkin) The krayt pearl is just a special and rare focus for lightsabers.

Posted by: JSchuler at July 11, 2015 06:00 PM (6i4P9)

142 Canon? No one knows. Lucas had no idea how to make things match up. He had no clue as to how difficult it is to retcon all this stupid shit to some sort of somewhat reasonable assumptions. He just threw things together and never thought to make them make sense. If it looked good, it went in.

As a result, his galaxy has an equivalent of Trantor with a major war going on with the President of the Galaxy and All His Buds meeting with a Famous General and there are only 40 people within a half mile.
Asimov would have had 15 pages of detail on the journalists covering the event and would have had details of public meeting laws that would have evolved on such a planet.

Lucas - eh, put a bunch of pillars all over and we just need 30 extras today.

So yeah, no idea what is canon anymore.

Posted by: Impatient Sith Lord at July 11, 2015 06:02 PM (ukTrJ)

143 Eventually, you have to do a lot of hand-waving.

Here's some: they are not dumb, just broke and in hiding.

Stay in the desert, stay poor, stay unnoticed.
Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 05:59 PM (MQEz6)

Yes, a marginal place that nobody wants to go to so it's safe. Like indentured servants running off into the Appalachians -- who the hell is going to look for you up there?

Posted by: Master joncelli at July 11, 2015 06:02 PM (ENczY)

144 135
And how much of this Star Wars backstory is still cannon?

Posted by: Anna Puma

**cough**canon**cough**

I blame autocorrect.

Posted by: pep at July 11, 2015 06:03 PM (LAe3v)

145 So the barren desert wasteland planet in The Force Awakens isn't Tattoine, but another barren desert wasteland planet called Jakku?

Way to phone it in script writers. You think the most creative people on the planet (aka Hollywood) could at least come up with intriguing planet ideas for the new Star Wars film.

Nothing about this latest Star Wars film intrigues me. It'll be just another J.J. Abrams reboot abortion characterized by stupid story lines and riddled with clich�s and plot holes.

Posted by: Ernie McCracken at July 11, 2015 06:03 PM (hL1jD)

146 Superman vs anyone is a joke. It's like Bambi vs a thermonuclear warhead.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at July 11, 2015 06:04 PM (rwI+c)

147 What are the taxes on Tatooine? I'm looking for a place to retire. I lie the desery.

Posted by: Badda Bing at July 11, 2015 06:04 PM (BjKDP)

148 Who put all the brown stuff on Pluto?

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 06:04 PM (MQEz6)

149 And yeah, Krayt Pearls are equivalent to a bunch of other sources - crystals from Illium, etc. Handwave time - it's that they are from a living creature as opposed to the environment - some force users can gain more from an organic focus than one forged in magma - and vice versa.

Posted by: Impatient Sith Lord at July 11, 2015 06:05 PM (ukTrJ)

150 I like the desert...ugh. need a drink.

Posted by: Badda Bing at July 11, 2015 06:05 PM (BjKDP)

151 Lucas is a nerd, with no idea about anything other than the technical aspects of moviemaking. A man's got to know his limitations.

That said, I hate Spielberg.

Posted by: pep at July 11, 2015 06:05 PM (LAe3v)

152 "Might Luthor will attempt to recreate Zod (or any Kryptonian) from Zod's blood (and maybe some of Supes' blood; surely he bled some in that big fight and of course Lex collected it) and screw it up and create..."

Doomsday. At least according to a few of the rumor sites.

Posted by: Dbot1800 at July 11, 2015 06:06 PM (73Wdn)

153 Star Wars?...Superman?...Batman?.....that's the kinda crap some 8 year old or Joe Biden likes to watch. Sheesh....

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at July 11, 2015 06:06 PM (JG47A)

154 136 wait, obi wan retired to, and luke grew up on, the one planet in the galaxy which all Jedi have to go to to get their dumb crystals?

and for some reason, Jedi weren't always on this planet? And people didn't just know shit-tons about all the Jedi who must have (in the past) made pilgrimmages there?

This is getting Dumb.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:58 PM (bhepQ)

There are other sources besides Dantooine for focusing crystals, too. Most of those Expanded Universe sorts of details are now officially scrapped from canon though.

Posted by: Doctor Cynic at July 11, 2015 06:06 PM (rzggC)

155 some force users can gain more from an organic focus than one forged in magma - and vice versa.

Posted by: Impatient Sith Lord

Wut???

Posted by: pep at July 11, 2015 06:07 PM (LAe3v)

156 Who put all the brown stuff on Pluto?>>>

Me

Posted by: Disney Cartoonist at July 11, 2015 06:07 PM (1SHv1)

157 So

They are leaving Vienna

Looks like we gave Iran a deal

Posted by: ThunderB at July 11, 2015 06:08 PM (zOTsN)

158 suppose one could make up some bs about Tatooine having oxygen-rich snow at a polar cap that constantly melts and reforms ?

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at July 11, 2015 06:08 PM (aYHsS)

159 The Japanese had two reasons to attack Attu and Kiska.

First they could do math and realized American bombers could attack the Home Islands from there. Second, they wanted a diversion to draw off American forces from Midway.

When Admiral Theobald was informed of the Japanese plans he thought Layton was being fed a line of BS by the Japanese. Theobald knew the geography of the islands unlike the Japanese. It was a major engineering miracle when Umiak airfield was built, the ground was spongy and planes would bounce on the undulating surface that was supposed to be an airfield.

So Theobald had his cruiser and destroyer force deployed far from Dutch Harbor protecting what he thought was the real objective. Thus his forces never saw combat. Which is probably a good thing since the Japanese did possess two light carriers vs Theobald being dependent upon USAAF fighters and bombers for air missions.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 06:08 PM (dZtj4)

160 Iran gets Jakku in exchange for a pallet of Bantha poodoo.

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 06:10 PM (MQEz6)

161 I have been playing too much SWTOR and SWG-EMU in the last few months.

I have to read some westerns to clear the palate. Max Brand and Louis L'Amour time.

Posted by: Impatient Sith Lord at July 11, 2015 06:10 PM (ukTrJ)

162 Simple reason those star destroyers are crashed.

They were built by GM from the Emperor's first T.A.R.P. program and they had faulty gas tanks.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at July 11, 2015 06:10 PM (Z7G74)

163 Yeah. Emo Luthor?

No.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at July 11, 2015 06:11 PM (oVJmc)

164 Exactly the Star Wars universe is a hot mess. I still remember Timothy Zahn talking about how authors in the universe would get into powering up the Force abilities to insane levels.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 06:14 PM (dZtj4)

165 154 136 wait, obi wan retired to, and luke grew up on, the one planet in the galaxy which all Jedi have to go to to get their dumb crystals?

and for some reason, Jedi weren't always on this planet? And people didn't just know shit-tons about all the Jedi who must have (in the past) made pilgrimmages there?

This is getting Dumb.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 05:58 PM (bhepQ)

There are other sources besides Dantooine for focusing crystals, too. Most of those Expanded Universe sorts of details are now officially scrapped from canon though.
Posted by: Doctor Cynic at July 11, 2015 06:06 PM (rzggC)

They could have come to New Mexico for crystals.

Posted by: Walter White at July 11, 2015 06:14 PM (Z7G74)

166 ace is on a roll and this thread has been replaced.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at July 11, 2015 06:15 PM (AC0lD)

167 Nood CGI

Posted by: Robinson at July 11, 2015 06:15 PM (1SHv1)

168 >>>Eventually, you have to do a lot of hand-waving.

Here's some: they are not dumb, just broke and in hiding.

Stay in the desert, stay poor, stay unnoticed.

...

the richest man on the planet, the powerful gangster Jabba, also lived in the desert.

Mos Eisley, the biggest city (how could it not be, given it is the planet's starport) is also in the desert.

The planet is all desert. There are no oceans or jungles.

Posted by: ace at July 11, 2015 06:18 PM (bhepQ)

169 7oted in the post it's not tattooine... still, same thing: desert shithole. not exactly a thriving hub of commerce.

Posted by: ace

Yeah your original point certainly is valid.

Here is an article that talks about JJ confirming that it is Jakku (http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Desert-Planet-Star-Wars-Force-Awakens-Isn-t-Tatooine-70925.html)

Here is another where EA and DICE provide some background on the battle that took place. (http://starwars.ea.com/starwars/battlefront/news/jakku-pre-order-offer)

Posted by: Chappy at July 11, 2015 06:18 PM (8E3mH)

170 "I still remember Timothy Zahn talking about how authors in the universe would get into powering up the Force abilities to insane levels."

Phasing through walls and folding space a la Dune to instantly move a ship anywhere probably being the most OP.

I am not allowed to play a Jedi in SWSE.

Posted by: JSchuler at July 11, 2015 06:18 PM (6i4P9)

171 135 And how much of this Star Wars backstory is still cannon?
Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:57 PM (dZtj4)

The original 6 movies, The Clone Wars television series, and the new Star Wars Rebels television series.

Posted by: Chappy at July 11, 2015 06:24 PM (8E3mH)

172 LLuther is bald. Everybody knows that.

Posted by: duh at July 11, 2015 06:27 PM (Nd4YY)

173 171 135 And how much of this Star Wars backstory is still cannon?
Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:57 PM (dZtj4)

The original 6 movies, The Clone Wars television series, and the new Star Wars Rebels television series.
Posted by: Chappy at July 11, 2015 06:24 PM (8E3mH)

Plus all Disney-produced books and Marvel comics from here out.

Posted by: Doctor Cynic at July 11, 2015 06:31 PM (rzggC)

174 25 didn't he have a kid with an alien broad?

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich

False alien messiahs are one thing, hot alien poon another.

The James T. Kirk Doctrine....

Posted by: RGallegos at July 11, 2015 06:37 PM (49Jfq)

175 I'm probably about the tenth person to point out that in the original "Star Wars" movie there was a space battle going on at Tatooine. Luke was watching it through binoculars. Some of this got cut from the final film.

Posted by: TB at July 11, 2015 06:38 PM (8u/5i)

176 An ambassadorial ship against an Imperial Cruiser is hardly a battle.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at July 11, 2015 06:41 PM (rwI+c)

177 BvS looks like hot mess. Eisenberg's whiny voice, ugh--give me murderous Kevin Spacey, please. Or even campy Gene Hackman. The only part I liked was the sort of 9/11 PTSD that Wayne seems to get. Yeah, seeing Wayne Enterprises' Metropolis building destroyed would sort of mess him up. But then he goes after Supes, who saved the whole planet from being Project Genesis-ed by Zod.

And it looks like the toy makers will be happy, I guess we'll have yet another Batmobile for the next movie.

And, Ace, when you see who the Real Big Bad is, you'll make a shiv out of the plastic Coke cup and gouge out your eyes right there in the theater.

Posted by: Agent J at July 11, 2015 06:44 PM (ueOgE)

178 Looks like they took the best part of DARK KNIGHT RETURNS, I always like how they made Superman into tool of the Government, I don't think it will happen in this movie. I just hope that when he is fighting SuperMan its at Crime Alley because Batman knows he will die fighting him.

Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at July 11, 2015 06:49 PM (c4yY7)

179 ACE still ignoring Trump

Posted by: DC at July 11, 2015 07:08 PM (TzeLs)

180 Batman vs Superman just seems like a dumb idea. I cant get over the fact that Superman would crush Batman like a bug. Then, i cant get over the idea that with Affleck playing Batman, i want him to....

After Nolan's perfect handling of the Dark Knight, there is little chance the character wont seem cheesy, annoying or like a character from Gigli.

Affleck sucks and his face on the screen ruins everything for me.

Since when is Lex Luthor a 14 year old emo kid?

I dont know......it just all seems desperate.

Posted by: Alec at July 11, 2015 07:46 PM (NTS3M)

181 "Their only forms of entertainment are Space Dixieland Jazz and power converters."

SO MUCH WIN

Posted by: keep it up you trash licking Ewok you at July 11, 2015 07:48 PM (whMsz)

182 80 Emperor Palpatine is dead and everyone across the galaxy is on the Rebel side with fireworks. So they live happily ever after.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 11, 2015 05:33 PM (dZtj4)

I like to think that two minutes after we see the people celebrating on Coruscant, the local authorities gunned down most of them and arrested and executed the ringleaders.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 11, 2015 05:39 PM (10ydV)

That's precisely what they said happened in one of the xwing novels.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 11, 2015 07:52 PM (2ia1X)

183 The Batman vs. Superman supervillian will be a gigantic white duck.

Posted by: eman at July 11, 2015 07:57 PM (MQEz6)

184 ACE still ignoring Trump

What's he done now?

Posted by: Grump928(C) at July 11, 2015 08:02 PM (hcv46)

185 Heck, maybe they were even going after the Hutts, or the Star Destroyer had been suborned by them before its unfortunate end.

Posted by: menoichius at July 11, 2015 08:02 PM (MGTlQ)

186 Zod's dead, baby. Zod's dead.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at July 11, 2015 08:06 PM (+4uXG)

187 Tatooine wouldn't be the first sh ithole or backwater that suddenly became the sight of a large battle. Maybe a tie fighter was spotted going down to tatooine looking for a pair of shoes (pats self on back for oblique historical reference)

Posted by: Slamdunk at July 11, 2015 08:07 PM (EQcBC)

188 Why must every place on an alien planet look like every other place on that planet. Polar Tattooine and equatorial Tattooine look like the northern Sahara? Polar Hoth and equatorial Hoth look like Antarctica. There seems to be only one planet where the poles are colder than the equator. It is also the only planet with more than one language, or religion. Facinating...

Na Noo Na Noo

Posted by: iugfv at July 11, 2015 08:18 PM (VnJQY)

189 Mars is a desert planet and most of it looks like northern New Mexico in winter. Rhea is an ice moon and most of it looks like the Clintons' bed when Hillary and Bill share it. Venus is a volcanic hellhole and as best the Venera probe could tell us, before it melted, it looks like a volcanic hellhole.

Diverse planets like Earth are rare. Marginal planets like Tattooine and Hoth tend toward Mars and Rhea

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 11, 2015 10:54 PM (Yc4/E)

190 Anyone who's not psyched for both movies is... I don't know. Words fail me.

THHPPPPPPPPT!

And for the people who think Batman can't put Clark down:Kryptonite-flavored Valu-Rite.

It's just he won't. Mark my words, Bats will have Clark dead to rights at some point and he'll flinch. He'll have Clark's head pulled back and his nose pinched shut but at the last second he'll toss the V-R bottle over his shoulder, help Clark to his feet, turn his back and walk away.

Posted by: Chico Escuela at July 11, 2015 11:07 PM (VvpaF)

191 This serves to support my theory that no matter what role Ben Affleck is cast for, he's badly mis-cast. (You'd think if the role were that of a dull-witted, Narcissistic douchebag it might work - but that would hardly be acting, and I still have doubts he could pull it off on camera.)

Posted by: Blacklake at July 11, 2015 11:47 PM (b9GlI)

192 It's not Tattooine it's a new planet called Jakku and the CGI thing well that's a bit of a myth too.
TPM had one hundred model projects in total 500 models miniature sets and characters and employed 87 model makers.

Posted by: Mindlessdroid at July 12, 2015 08:59 AM (PWv7x)

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