November 17, 2003
I actually deleted a post...
Don't get me wrong...I'm still highly pissed the fuck off that my blogroll was corrupted by some asshole's blog name and I have no intention of un-banning her address, but I'll tell ya, if somebody used my blog like that I'd sure as hell be pissed, apologizing and finding out what the fuck happened instead of having my husband whine in a post...
Don't like what's going on in your comments? Tough. I didn't like finding my blogroll replaced by you, either. For the record...Blogrolling has NOTHING posted about any problems.and last but not least
again
update 4:15p: They have news now.
Thank God I did delete that first post.
and
again...sorry chick.
Posted by: Stevie at 10:14 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 16, 2003
My favorite one yet...
This is the best test I ever took.
I failed miserably, by the way...Posted by: Stevie at 11:51 AM | Comments (40) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
A moment of silence, please...
I have the shittiest luck with Swedish Meatballs. (Except for one in particular...) I've loved these things ever since the first time I had 'em, even though they are friggin' dangerous....
My first Swedish Meatball adventure happened while I was in high school. I even mentioned it under my yearbook picture.
I came home from God-knows-where now, and was hungry. This was when they came in bags that ya had to boil. So, I grabbed a coupla boxes and threw the four bags in the water and turned on the stove. I wandered into the livingroom and sat down to wait.
The next thing I remember is waking up to a house filled with this dense, tan smoke. My Dad was just getting home himself and woke me up. The lady who was living with us at the time, the same Carol from the 'deer-in-my-trunk' story, woke up thinking that Dad was cooking. My lungs felt like golfballs, so naturally, the first thing I did was light a cigarette...
Nobody got hurt, except the pan, the meatballs and my rep as a 'cook'. I still, to this day, get my balls busted about that.
Now, they done done it again.
This time, they killed my microwave. I was nukin' a container (and don't
even let me get started on that...smaller containers, less product, more 'price', eeeerrrrgggg) of 'em last night. I standin' there, waitin', when the microwave up and died. Right smack in the middle of the amount of time I had 'em in for. It went off, came back on, went off...the numbers kept fading away and coming back. I opened and shut the door, tried it again...nada.
Then...the smoke started. I do not fuck with electricity. I don't like getting shocked by electric fences, let alone a fuckin' household current, so I just sorta freaked a bit... "Ooohh, ooohh...it's smokin'! I need somebody to unplug this thing...Don't get fried, Eric...Lookit this thing...smokin' out the light hole...shit." Then, it occured to me...
How'my gonna finish my meatballs?
Now, before ya even think, "Well, ya retarded thing, there is an appliance called an oven...", let me tell ya...
Earlier in the day, I had made all those pancakes and shit, right? Well, at one point, I was trying to spread melting butter around in the frying pan-thing (it's one of those things that ya hafta plug the cord into and is kinda like a griddle/fryer/Hamburger Helper cooker thing...) and, anyway, I used a rubber spatula to do this, because the fryer thing is teflon. It melted my spatula. So, I melted a spatula already today and here I am with half hot, half frozen meatballs in a plastic container. I'm supposed to assume I can put plastic in the oven when I can't spread butter with a spatula? Please... Eric saved me again. He gets the box outta the trash and reads it to me like the moron I am...."Conventional Oven Cooking...Preheat to 325*, remove tray, cut coversheet, place on cookie tray and bake for 25 minutes..." (Twenty-five frickin' minutes? Jesus...) "Oh, okay, then..." It only took two semi-major appliances and 45 minutes, but I got me meatballs, finally...Jeez. I can cook 14 course breakfasts, pot roasts, regular dinners and all other manner of stuff. It's the farkin (easy) Swedish meatballs that trip me up....all but that one.
My own, personal Swedish Meatball.
Eric.
(Well...he's almost as goofy as I am and he is Swedish...)
You do the math.
Posted by: Stevie at 08:48 AM | Comments (38) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Hot Damn!!!
And...number 5000 is ERIC!!! Ain't he sweet? I think so...a Southern Gentleman...named Eric...how cool is that?
Poor kid, though...made me laugh out loud about those ladies he works with. "Tall, dark and handsome" doesn't necessarily mean shit. Matter of fact, a lot of men who fit that description are pretty horrible. They can be conceited, arrogant, empty-headed, emotionless droids. They are so used to getting by on looks, they learn NOTHING about being real, caring people. They get a lot of stuff just handed to 'em because of how they look. And, believe me, they LOOK better than they really are. The women who exclusively chase after men like these wind up with what they deserve. Base your love life prospects on looks and that's all you're probably gonna get...looks. And, Ladies? Don't even THINK about letting your looks slip with one of those guys. One hair outta place, one time too many and you're gone. Now...reverse EVERYTHING in that paragraph and ya get the flip side, without me having to repeat the whole thing. Men can be just as bad when it comes to going for looks instead of real qualities that DON'T change. Then, all y'all sit around wondering why it didn't work out again. Hmmm. Could it be that physical appearances really don't mean SHIT?Could it be that if yer THAT shallow, yer gettin' EXACTLY what you deserve?
Could it be FUN for the rest of us "cool but not fashion-model material" people to watch y'all keep fallin' on yer faces? Yeah. Oh..and "Ha ha", too. So, Sweet Southern Straight White Guy, screw 'em. Let the 'fashionistas' go chase each other in circles that end up nowhere. Us good-hearted, mind-using, real, honest and maybe not drop dead gorgeous people can watch 'em all chase each other straight to hell. Kay?
Posted by: Stevie at 08:07 AM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 15, 2003
Who'da thunk it?
Seems I'm not the only one with breakfast and beer in my head at the same time....
See? We must be related...
Posted by: Stevie at 01:07 PM | Comments (42) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Okay, so I'm hangin' with Roger and Dwight now...
Just made a ton of (french) toast, pancakes-with and without corn-and two kindsa bacon.
Mr. Miller helped me with that. We discusssed husbands and wives, England, engine (engine) #9, tall, tall trees and the fact that you indeed cannot roller skate in a buffalo herd, although I did point out that you can slide forever on goose shit, figuring it was the buffalo shit that would be slowing ya down....
Posted by: Stevie at 12:51 PM | Comments (45) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Here we go again...
Nuther dead-assed, boring weekend. Sighhhhh.
Great. Hell, the way my luck works, maybe there will be lotsa posting today, seeing as how I haven't heard from any TB's, T or otherwise, in the last 24 or so hours.... "You can have somma this, but not that. Or, ya can have somma that, but not this....Hell, you can have ANYTHING ya want.......except everything.'Cause........where wouldja put it?"
Maybe this would be the time to do all those things I keep puttin' off; the hundred things, the family tree (!), and whatever else there was..... By the way...Roosters are some stupid fucks. It's friggin' 8:20am, brightly lit sky....obviously DAY TIME. I hear trucks and machinery running, too, so EVERYBODY'S up so..... YO ROOSTER!!!! WOULD YOU KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP, NOW? Assholes crowin' about every 15 seconds. Think his fuckin' snooze button is stuck.
Well then, if I don't go out there and strangle him, I could name him Jim, I guess...Hmmmm. That might just save his life, that idea.....(Besides, I wanna link Jim just for shitz n giggles, but, is it a good idea to link somebody ya like to a story about rooster abuse? Or chicken chokin'? We shall see...together, cause I'm about to turn his name into a link...here I go....) Okay. Y'all never hear from me again just remember that it would appear that randomly linking people ya like to stories about (stupid) roosters ain't a good idea...kay?
(Hi Jim!...how ya doin? I gotta RUN now...)
Posted by: Stevie at 08:42 AM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 14, 2003
Well, it's gone...
Just like I said it'd be. The silo roof blew off around 2:30/3:00am. One panel is wrapped around the main cow-area gate and 2/3's of it fell almost straight down off the top. God only knows where the other pieces are.
See what I mean about my being right alla time?Fat lotta good it does or means. Jesus... UPDATE-3:25pm You guu-uuyyys...It's not MY silo. It goes with the farm I happen to live on that belongs to the guy named Bill who drives me crazy....any of this sound at all familiar?
Guess what...he managed to have all three local news stations out here to 'cover' the story....sighhhh. How retarded is that? What's even more bizarre is that they all three showed up. (Whatever...)
Posted by: Stevie at 07:01 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 13, 2003
I love British Humour....
Benny Hill, Monty Python, Mil Millington, Prince Charles....I love British humour.
So, dry, so funny and so irresistable with that accent. Now, where was this about 40,000 times in my life....so far? (Found at Dare My Wild Heart.)Posted by: Stevie at 09:36 PM | Comments (41) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
This ain't gonna be easy...
Eric and George are currently watching wrestling (uck). I can hear snatches of conversation sometimes. I just heard this:
George: Isn't he the one who...mumble, mumble?"Eric: Yeah. I can't remember his name, but he's the one who always came out and acted stupid..." Yeah. That'll narrow it RIGHT down...
Posted by: Stevie at 09:16 PM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Remind me later...
That I reeeaaally wanna do a post about the difference between speaking the truth and not qualifying it in any way or being scared of doing it and being 'offensive'...okay?
Thanks.
Posted by: Stevie at 06:31 PM | Comments (42) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Well now they call me the breeze...
And I keep blowin' down the road...
And across the driveway, through the yard and into the side of a silo, it's so frickin windy out there...
Geez...
UPDATE 9:30pm...Speaking of silos...The roof on this one outside my door is about ready to fly off in the wind. Remember when I was bitchin' before about Bill having A.W.A.T.A.W's here, killing pigeons? And, how I said he oughta FIX the roof to alleviate the pigeon problem? Well...he didn't. And, now more than half of it is flapping the wind and will probably be gone completely by morning. I knew he shoulda fixed it. The bonehead.
Posted by: Stevie at 06:28 PM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Well, Hello there...
How ya's doin? I'm okay...ain't been posting much, though...Keep spending all night talkin' to Paul. I'm not complainin', mind you. Not at all. Last night he quizzed me on 70's rock songs...that was a blast. But, I ain't gittin' chit done as far as cleaning or blogging or interacting with da fuzzy kids (anymore than to just shoo them offa the table and keyboard before they go sending Paul some kinda cryptic cat-porn shit).
(Matter of fact we've got an IM window open right now, but, he's on the phone and I'm allegedly cleaning something....hehehe)
Daggone it...I just realized...it'd be cool if Acidman did a real-er one....say, one that lists all his blog-kids. You know...the people who 'started blogging specifically because of him...' Ahem. In the meantime........... On to other news. I've got dishes that need to be washed, before we get into the whole "washin' silverware on an 'as needed' basis" thing, I've got laundry that needs to be subdued, there's the animals and all their attendant shit (in some cases literally shit, too...)...just all kindsa stuff I oughta be doin'. Buu-uuut.......I can also do all that shit later this morning after I wear Paul out again. (That usually happens about 5:00am his time.) And....I know me. Susie mentioned the other day that her cat likes to play 'roving speed bump' with her, too. My cats do the same shit. I spend 90% of my day walkin' around lookin' like Daffy Duck when he's playing Robin Hood "trippin', trippin', trippin....trip...trip...tri...splat". Stupid frickin'..... Then, last night, I kept hearing this whining noise. Sounded like either another cat outside crying or maybe a lone bird sounding off...I kept getting up to go look outside for the distressed animal. Except, everytime I went to the door, I lost the sound. I come back here, sit down...and there it is again. I was headed for a kitchen window to open it and get a lock on the direction, when it got louder and I heard it behind me. I turned around and look down and...it's Malcolm (the one I named after that gorgeous bastard in AC/DC) and he's asleep on the floor, cat-snorin'! Little shit, makin' me go looking for some 'hurt' animal or something....
Then, I'm in the bathroom, having successfully kept all the kiddo's out (Eric was asleep, so I was safe there) and I keep seeing all these sets of paws, with the occasional half a face comin' in under the door. Fifteen or so cat arms all tryin' to reach me on my perch/throne. I don't think so...BWAHAHAHAHA! And...I think I wuv Donnie. He claimed me as his kin, whether Acidman's our blog-daddy or not...thank Goodness. (Seein' as how us two-among others-got lost in the crowd....lol) (I just got this mental image of Rob standin' there with one or two of us in front of him, with 49 other of his 'kids' running around creating havoc in the background, listening as he sputters out a host of names, tryin' to get to ours...Hell, my own Dad does that and he's only THREE kids...of course Dad likes to call various people "Vivian" every now and again, so he cheats by using 'not kid' names, too...lmao) Anywaaaa-aaay.... Paul's still on the phone, the dishes still ain't done and I don't see not one single animal around here offering or even trying to lift a paw to help clean up the mess they sooo professionally know how to make, so I guess I'll go git started myself... Until Paul cames back, anyway... (Oh, please DO make it soon, TBT.)
Posted by: Stevie at 12:05 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 12, 2003
Just one more....
Even though it's officially November 12th now, and, as such, is no longer Veteran's Day....ya gotta see this one.
He's on Blobsnot, so I can't link to the specfic post, even tho Paul finally got it through my head how to do it, besides...this guy is a nut!The post I'm talking about is the second one under November 11th. However, you should also see "Fat cat" and "New weight training program".
Aw, hell...read it all. He's good....
Posted by: Stevie at 12:25 AM | Comments (46) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
November 11, 2003
LeeAnn's Dad is great!!!
Look.
See? (Still not recovered from laughing so hard...)Posted by: Stevie at 11:44 PM | Comments (47) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
And for my special guys...
Not only do I thank you with every bit of my heart, I also apologize from the very bottom of it for what you were put through upon your return 'home'...
God Bless and keep you all.
Posted by: Stevie at 01:01 PM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Gentlemen and ladies...
Thank you ever so much more than mere words can express for all you do...
Posted by: Stevie at 12:59 PM | Comments (45) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Yeah...I know I said three...
I can combine the other two ideas into this one post.
Probably shoulda titled it "Am I weird?" or something, though...hmmm.
I like candles and wet asphalt and cow shit...I like mens cologne, cigars and sweat. Matter of fact, some people's personal scents make me crazy. That was something I'd forgotten about Wally. I stole more of that guys shirts...He'd sweat up a tee shirt, take it off and forget it. I'd come along, find it, smell it, swoon and take it home. Manys the night I'd be losin' it for one reason or another-either mad enough to bite thru nails or suicidally depressed- and that guys shirts saved me...or some cow from gettin it's ass kicked. I'm even worse with Eric. Beyond hangin' out with him in the bathroom...worse. When he's been workin and workin' up a sweat...Oh. My. GOD. I like that even better than my favorite colognes...Damn.
I stick my face straight into his armpit and inhale for about a half hour, just like I do over a newly opened can of Copenhagen. Mmm-mmm. Yes, SIR!! I do like me those smells.... Better than coffee brewin...better than the first air comin out of a bag of newly opened potato chips...even better than Drakkar. And...I love Drakkar. Matter of fact, I like it so much, I wear it myself. That and Black Suede, Old Spice blue stuff, Polo, whatever smells good. I even use men's deodorant...Old Spice Pure Sport. Womens shit is either too flowery, too foo-foo, too stinky or just plain nasty. So...does this make me weird or do other chick-type people do this too?
Posted by: Stevie at 09:17 AM | Comments (46) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
About Acidman...
I wonder something...how many people have started blogging directly because of Rob like I did and Paul and Kim?
Not only am I wondering, I think that would be a damned good blogring to be in. I'd also like to take a least a peek at all those people. Paul says there's got to be about 20 or more... Lord knows Rob, Paul and Kim get tons more traffic than I do here, so, you guys...could you ask around, too? (Talk about potentially good reality TV shows...)Posted by: Stevie at 08:16 AM | Comments (50) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
This is so cool...
I was gonna mention the fact that I've been IM-in' with Paul all night again anyway, because I got three ideas for posts. We covered everything again from html crap to tech blogs, from Acidman to men's cologne to pheremones and personal scents to Eric's armpits...lol.
All kindsa cool shit.
Then...I saw this and freaked! We were just about to sign off, when I switched from my page to Rob's. I told Paul to "Go to Gut Rumbles!!! NOW!! Mouse over that link!"
Posted by: Stevie at 08:01 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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