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Delftsman

August 10, 2006

Gender

EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER

You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender...

*Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

*Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

*A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

*A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

*Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

*A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.

*A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

*An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

*A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

*A Remote Control is Female. Had you fooled! You thought it'd be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

H/T to Catfish (who else?! lol)

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:20 AM | Comments (837) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 08, 2006

Senate Vote

38 SENATORS VOTED TODAY AGAINST MAKING ENGLISH THE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF AMERICA .

HERE THEY ARE.

Akaka (D-HI)
Bayh (D-IN)
Biden (D-DE)
Bingaman (D-NM)
Boxer (D-CA)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Clinton (D-NY)
Dayton (D-MN)
Dodd (D-CT)
Domenici (R-NM)
Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D-WI)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Harkin (D-IA)
Inouye (D-HI)
Jeffords (I-VT)
Kennedy (D-MA)
Kerry (D-MA)
Kohl (D-WI)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Lieberman (D-CT)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murray (D-WA)
Obama (D-IL)
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV)
Salazar (D-CO)
Sarbanes (D-MD)
Schumer (D-NY)
Stabenow (D-MI)
Wyden (D-OR)

Remember these Senators when YOU vote in November !

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:32 PM | Comments (3592) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 07, 2006

Jessie and the Appliance Store

After his tour of duty in New Orleans......

Jesse Jackson was in Sears.
He was there to protest the fact that all the washing machines were white.

So the clerk called the store manager, who asked,
"What's the problem here, Reverend?"

Jesse pointed at the machines and loudly bemoaned the fact
that all of them were white.

The manager replied, "Well, Reverend, it's true that all the
washing machines are white, but if you'll open the lids,
you'll see that all the agitators are black."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:27 PM | Comments (3280) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Youth Culture in the UK

U r sckd: worker fired by text message

No you are reading it correctly. That is exactly how the headline was written.

Fri Aug 4, 11:38 AM ET via AFP newsfeed

A company has defended its decision to sack one of its staff by text message, claiming it was keeping in touch with youth culture.

I'm still having trouble with the way my mind reads the headline. But it's part of the YOUTH CULTURE I suppose.

Katy Tanner, a 21-year-old sales assistant, received the message while she was off work with a migraine, the South Wales Echo newspaper said Friday.

The text message said: "We will not require your services anymore...Thank you for your time with us."

Now isn't that just sweet. How stunningly brave of management to FIRE an employee via text message, it avoids all the angst of doing THEIR freakin' JOB which, oh by the way, includes FIRING people. Be adults and suck it up, or is making somebody cry too much for YOUR personal self-esteem. We don't want to hurt anybody's feewings now do we? This points to a much, much bigger problem. Too many people don't want to make hard decisions and even worse ACT on them. This is a MAJOR ISSUE we are facing in the west. We are fat, lazy and want somebody else to face problems and deal with them. Can an adult who can't do an unplesant, but necessary task like discharging a bad employee, defend themselves against a threat to their life? Hell no. They can't even be COMFORTABLE with having their government do that. They don't want to deal with anything unpleasant, nevermind it might be a threat to their very existence.

"I don't think it's right to just text someone. At least they should have talked to me face to face," Tanner said.

Yep, just like the Trumpster, call you in (when you bother to show up) to the office. "Katy YOU'RE fired !!!" See.... three words and it's over.

"You're not allowed to text in sick, you have to phone. The fact that they texted me is a bit of double standards."

Double standards and yellow bellies.

Several senior staff members at Blue Banana, a body-piercing and jewellery shop based in Cardiff, defended the decision.

Of course, because they're all cowards. Defend the piss-poor decision you made anyway you want, but we know their problem.

But company director Jon Taylor added that an internal investigation was underway to see if "the ultimate action was ideal".

Keep backpedaling Jon, It won't do you any good. Let's just hope some jihadi goatfucker doesn't try to kidnap your ass. Will you Text Message Scotland Yard? Hopefully you are well trained in cell phone self-defense. Ahh the "Cell Phone Jihadi Defense Technique™" Give us a "text" when you try it, hopefully your eyes (in your severed head) will be able to see the phone in your hands. Tapping in the message could be a probem as well, but maybe muscle memory will do the trick.

The retailer claims it tried to reach Tanner directly "five or six times" and passed on a message through her boyfriend before the text was sent.

Keep backpedaling away, do mind the train coming up behind you. I'll just pull something out of my ass here, maybe knock her up? (Ed. Note--it's a british thing-means to pay a visit to someone's residence. )

And store director Ian Besbie added that the dismissal method was fair because texting was a part of "youth culture".

"We are a youth business and our staff are all part of the youth culture that uses SMS (text) messaging as a major means of communication," he said.

The company employs about 120 people in Britain, many of them aged under 21.

If this is an indicator of your business paradigm, good luck. I doubt you'll keep those employees working and the business open, let alone grow without some adults in charge, and I don't classify an adult based on age alone. Obviously Mr. Besbie doesn't fit that category either way. I imagine your investigation will detemine that a *stern look* should be SMS messaged to the "senior staff".

The U.K. continues swirling down the toilet bowl of relevancy. Churchill spinning in his grave no doubt. The Brit "Stiff Upper Lip" succumbs to the "Quivering Chin".

Posted by: LC Jackboot IC/A-OBR at 01:24 PM | Comments (177) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 06, 2006

Things that make you go HMMM...

Here's some Aviation History everyone should probably know:

You may remember that on July 8, 1947 , witnesses claim an unidentified object
with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-cattle ranch just outside Roswell , New Mexico .

This is a well known incident that many say...
has been profusely covered up by the Air Force and the US government.

However....... what you may NOT well know is that on March 31, 1948 -
exactly nine months after that historic day, Al Gore was born.

That piece of information clears up a lot of things.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:40 PM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

What They are Proudest of.

A Marine footlocker plopped itself down with a ‘THUNK!’ on my porch today, with the help of a postal worker, who insisted on helping me lug it’s sandy, battered dark-green plastic self over my threshold.

The weighty locker’s arrival was not a surprise, as I had received an overseas call just days before from the young Marine Lance Corporal, a friend stationed in Fallujah, who had asked that I be ready to receive it in lieu of his wife who attends school out-of-state. There is only one correct response to that kind of request. ‘Absolutely!’

“It’s gonna be heavy”, he warned. Like I care. He and his unit are being redeployed stateside at the end of this month, having (God willing) survived 7 more months in the land of sun and fun that is Iraq. His buddy’s locker should also show up here in a day or two. I’ll drag it inside and add it to the pile of suitcases, golf clubs, book boxes and odds and ends of Marine regalia that currently litter most of my spare room.
One pair of spare desert boots sits perched atop the whole heap. There is always room for more.

I make it a point to ask them, these young men who represent the best of us, the wall of safety/blanket of security/ call it what you will, that we are so fortunate to have guarding our nation - one particular question when they come home. I fully intend to ask it of these two in the very near future.

No. It’s not the 6-million dollar question. ‘Didya kill anyone?’ They will get that one from every corner; the idly curious, the morbidly fascinated, concerned family members, those who only use it to condemn - and they each will have to respond to that question often enough for me not to ever want to add to that burden.

Many of them hadn’t heard my question before . One even expressed his amazement that ‘nobody else had ever asked him that’, and he’d been back nearly a year from his 3rd deployment in 4 years.

What I ask is this: ’What did you do over there that you are proudest of?’

To a man, they have yet to give the same answer. The first response I received, a newly-minted Sgt. was quietly honored to be put up for a Bronze Star with a V for Valor, but he never did say what he’d done to have achieved that and it felt wrong to press. Another, a Corporal, had formed a close bond with an Iraqi interpreter who worked and lived at the camp where they both worked, it not being safe for the ‘terp’ to live off base with his family.

JC, the Marine who got me involved with this ‘fine mess’ that is the Marine Corps when he began moonlighting at my store, and who I thank nightly in my prayers for granting me the opportunity to get to know these young men and women, was both proud and relieved that he’d brought his whole Squad home, SAFE, from walking over 70 ground patrols in Ar Ramadi, one of the most dangerous cities in Iraq for our troops. Most of his men even thanked him, and said JC had been a hardass, but they understood now, why.

A 23 year-old LCPL, shot once, hit by an IED in his right arm and back, and who will probably be having PT for the rest of his days, - but who willingly went out on 2 more deployments after that even though he could’ve been medically discharged - said he and his buddies pulled some young Iraqi school kids out of a building that had caught fire. All suffered some burns as a result - but they got those kids out.

A Sergeant I work with now on Base, who happens to be a gifted artist, said he felt like the time he spent with local children, handing out school supplies and the cliché but oh, so important beanie babies and candy, and just being a sort of pied piper to the little ones, was something he still carried with him and always would. (He told me that when the big kids would snatch of the smaller kids freshly distributed soccer balls or stuffed animals, he would ‘make sure’ that the little ones would get them right back!)

Another Marine, who left just this Friday on his second deployment, said the first go ’round he and his men ’adopted’ one special little girl and they checked up on her, and made sure her family had things they needed. They were always hospitably received, and he raved about the goodness of their hot chai and warm bread! He is hoping to be able to hear of/see her again. Long shot, but….
One’s unit laid the most communications equipment/cable in the history of the Marine Corps. Endless miles of the stuff. Yet another made sure his men got what they needed, supply-wise, becoming quite proficient at wheeling and dealing with both the locals and other logistics folks so that his unit didn’t have to go lacking, ever. One time one of his CPLs busted a file cabinet that he’d been putting together for a higher-up, who was furious. In a panic, the beleaguered CPL came to him to pay for another, but the PX was all out. It just so happened that the filing cabinet was the exact same one he himself had bought earlier in the week, though, so he gave the CPL his, gratis. Assembled and ready to go.

----------------------------

Some knew their answer to my question right away. Several gave me their responses a day or so later, after they’d mulled it over. I thought it spoke to their achievements in the sandbox that they had so many things to choose from that it took some thinking to single out the ‘best’.

I came into this from the outside world, having a Dad who served, but no one currently. These Marines I’ve met through my work; either off, or now on, Base. If you ever wonder about the young troops of today, and whether they have what it takes to commit and fight, and achieve victory in this War, I can answer that by asking myself my own question:

What am I proudest of?

THEM.

Posted by: beth*A at 06:32 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Author,Author!

Decrepit Old Fool tries his hand at writing a bete noir short story, and I think that you will find it equal to the best of any published author.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 04:31 PM | Comments (458) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 05, 2006

Yalla YA Nasrallah!

Here's whats waiting for you if you dare to show yourself!

If you care to care to bask in more of the pulcritude that the IDF has, GO HERE.

To GuyK.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:51 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Lebanon ~ Cease Fire, or Appeasment?

Caroline B. Glick has something to say about the proposed cease fire in Lebanon...I hope that the leaders of Israel and here in the U.S. take her advice to heart....otherwise, we're in for a struggle that will make Iraq look like a Sunday School outing...

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:43 PM | Comments (250) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Family Relations

"Leos reaction was swift when he learned that his mother in law was on her way for a visit"

Unfortunately, she was faster.

to KeesKennis for the pics

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:17 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

The way men Think

As usual, Elisson cuts through the bulls**t and honestly shows what we men are ACTUALLY thinking when we invite you lovely ladies over for a "romantic home cooked meal".

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:04 PM | Comments (288) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

A little political comparison

As usual, someone else found it first, and I'm relegated to just passing it along. I'm just blessed that I have so many blog-friends that I can ~~rip this stuff off of~~ borrow from for the edification of my fellow citizens.

to KeesKennis

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:51 PM | Comments (288) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Sign of the Times

This is the new highway sign on all exit ramps where gas is available...

to Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:54 AM | Comments (2869) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 04, 2006

Another Blond Joke

A man got on a bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls.

A blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets,

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."

The blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally asked,
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 04:55 PM | Comments (1138) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 03, 2006

Another ~~stolen~~ borrowed joke

There was a tradesman, a painter named Jack, who was very interested in making a dollar where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time.Eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration project. Jack put in a painting bid and, because his price was so competitive, he got the job.

And so he started, erecting the trestles and putting up the planks, and buying the paint and thinning it down with turpentine. Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky opened and the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and knocking Jack off the scaffold to land on the lawn. Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his knees and cried, "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty Voice spoke, "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

to GuyK

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:40 PM | Comments (979) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Let's Give Em' Something to Talk About

Quantum Physics!

Tenth Dimension

Interesting little Flash Media show...

I'm not sure that we don't think that there's other dimensions, we just don't know how to perceive them. This talks about the 3 dimensions that most of us know, then adding onto them. Most of us don't think of time being a collection of dimensions.

Essentially, in fourth dimension 'N' there are people that could be living that are deceased in our dimension, but it doesn't mean they are deceased in that dimension. Clear as mud, right?

String theory is such an insane physics concept!

Posted by: LC Serena at 12:07 PM | Comments (233) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 02, 2006

Defendant Murtha, Sounds Good

At least one of the Haditha 8 is starting to fight back. SSgt. Frank D. Wuterich has filed suit in federal court against Sen. John Murtha for defamation.

It's about damned time. I have the distinct feeling that there are going to be a lot of things coming out in this trial that a lot of the brass of the Marine Corps won't enjoy being have exposed.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 04:20 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Musings...

Bush's reaction to the news that Israel had resumed it's airstrikes against Hexbullah:

Kerry's reaction to the news that Hillery had announced her candidacy in '08:

MS, in an effort to cut costs, hires new hardware techs:

Ahnuld S. flexes his muscles when challenged by the state Senate:

ANNA is coming home next week! Even the cat is happy:

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:47 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 We have all noticed them. The huge guys at the gym, lifting huge stacks associated with plates and grunting and sweating like their head is all about to explode. Their arms are busting out of their shirts and their legs seem like they belong to a horse-a muscular horse. Who would like to look like that? This is among the main reasons that some people, although they want to lost weight and appear great, refuse to strength train. They are scared that picking up the heavy iron will certainly turn them into hulking behemoths which can't put their arms down by their side. Nothing could be further from your truth.

Lifting weights will never turn you into a bodybuilder overnight. Getting the kind of muscle you see on those big boys within the gym takes years (10-15) associated with work, incredibly long exercises, and sometimes, a little -help- from a not so natural source-if you get my drift. For the majority of us, adding weight training into our exercise regimen will do exactly what we want it to. Weight training will help you to lose weight, get in shape, and appear better at the beach. You see, for each and every ounce of muscle you build, your body will speed up its own internal fat burning process. The more muscles Pull Up Bars you build, the more fat you were burn. Now, muscle DOES weigh a lot more than fat, but don't allow that scare you. I am talking about, what do you really worry about, how much you bodyweight, or what you seem like with your shirt off? That is the actual test if improving your physique is high on your priority list. The majority of us just want to watch the scales and find out the pounds come pouring off, but when you are regularly training with weight load, this oftentimes does certainly not happen. As you are losing fat, you are building muscle mass, so your weight may stay exactly the same, but your body might look drastically different. Your clothes will fit much better, the people at the office will begin to look at your differently so when beach time comes, you will be the first to grab off your shirt!

Therefore, how do you start a good weight training course? The last thing you should do is hit the gym and start blasting out arm curls with simply no idea of what you do. Weight training is serious business and can be very dangerous. One wrong move and you could wind up lying during sex for 6 months watching your body slip into worse shape than before you decide to started. A solid general guideline when beginning to work together with weights is to partner up with someone who knows the actual are doing. This is actually a friend who has plenty of experience or better however, a personal trainer. A qualified personal trainer can walk you through a step-by-step process of building an effective weight training program that may help you to reach your objectives while avoiding injury as you go along.

So the next time you think about lifting weights, you may not conjure a vision of a well oiled massive number posing in tiny trunks; you may see yourself, ripped, in shape, and looking fantastic because of your weight training program.

Posted by: Sunshine Essinger at November 05, 2011 08:09 PM (4egwv)

2 Ready to accept the challenge

Posted by: Lavonne Millar at May 10, 2012 12:03 PM (SJyq/)

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One Canadian's Apology
This is one Canadian that truly "gets it". He lays it all out.

to Liz at Explicitly Ambiguous
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:35 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Fantastic blog.Much thanks again. Really Cool.

Posted by: Romelia Rajaratnam at September 14, 2011 06:05 PM (j6D33)

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The IAF, BooYah!
Yeah, it's a propaganda film extolling the virtues of a military branch, so WHAT?
The stats are impressive. I had never heard some of them...that, for example, Israel has only lost 27 aircraft in it's entire existance, while achiving an average kill ratio of 57 to 1. ANY military would be deservedly proud of performance like that.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:21 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 WOW!

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