Rocket Jones

December 17, 2007

Best Line of the Weekend

In a weekend full of zingers and one-liners fired by all and in every direction, one stands out.

The graduation ceremony for Old Dominion University was held in the arena where ODU basketball is played (called "the Ted"... no relation). Before the ceremony started the concession stands were open, because the U isn't going to miss a single opportunity to make a few bucks.

So the very first speaker says:

I would like to remind everyone that this graduation ceremony is an event that deserves the utmost dignity.

To which Jeff replied:

You blew that when you decided to sell nachos.

That exchange barely topped my wife Liz, who zinged Jason with this one:

Jason: I have a 60 inch television.

Liz: Sorry to hear you have a little penis.

Jason was speechless, although no one could tell because we were all howling and rolling on the floor.

A grand weekend.

Posted by: Ted at 10:11 PM | Comments (64) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

December 16, 2007

Rest In Peace, My Friend

Tom, aka Triticale, has unexpectedly passed away.

Posted by: Ted at 09:25 PM | Comments (65) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

December 13, 2007

One Last Thing

From the forum over at Wildside Cinema, posted by a rather disturbed individual named Dent.

Rogers_breakin.gif

Won't'cha be my neighbor... bitch!

Posted by: Ted at 08:24 PM | Comments (67) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

See ya in a few days

Tomorrow we're headed down to Norfolk for oldest daughter's graduation from Old Dominion University. Depending on traffic and the weather 'round these here parts, we'll be back some time Sunday.

Oh, on a random note... was treated to lunch today at the Fort Meyers Officers Club. On base we passed by General Petraeus' home.

Posted by: Ted at 08:15 PM | Comments (37) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Bring Our Troops Home!

From Germany, that is.

I heard on the news this morning that some German minister threatened to boycott future US climate talks unless we agreed to follow their lead in Bali.

Let's see. Since adopting Kyoto, most of Europe - including Germany - have not only *not* met their reduction goals but have mostly ignored them because they've proved to be unreachable without major damage to their economy.

But that inconvenient truth doesn't stop them from lecturing the US. Who, by the way, is actually making progress towards reducing greenhouse gas emissions by using modern technology.

So I say lets reduce our carbon footprint in Germany by closing down every last damn military base and bringing the troops home. Some would probably be shifted to Poland or other eastern European countries, you know, the ones who actually want us there.

Less money for western Europe. We could spend some of the savings on health care for the kids who really need it here at home.

Posted by: Ted at 05:58 AM | Comments (379) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

December 12, 2007

Doctor, It's Alive!

Wildside Cinema is up!

For those few who haven't heard, I am a staff reviewer there. It used to be called Joe Horror, but we've expanded. The old reviews are going to be migrated over, and the new ones are already available.

Looking for a great movie? Or maybe wondering about that obscure title on the shelf at the rental store? Wildside Cinema. Spread the word.

Posted by: Ted at 09:32 PM | Comments (39) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

December 10, 2007

*Yawn*

The Hollywood writers are still on strike.

I hadn't even noticed.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (350) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

December 09, 2007

All Whiney Bitch, All the Time

I get my stitches out tomorrow and the results of the tissue biopsy are due as well. All is expected to be normal, in which case I can officially stop obsessing over this freakin' skin cancer episode.

Last Monday I made a quickie doctor's appointment because it felt like I had an ear infection. I'm not a hypochondriac, but when I need to go see the doc, I do it. Over the last six months, I've seen the docs way too often. So yeah, I had an ear infection. Both ears, in fact, along with a sinus infection. After four days on antibiotics, not only were the ears not feeling better, they were hurting. Another call to the doctor's office resulted in a new prescription, the antibiotic equivalent of a surgical nuclear strike. I'm all for that. I started the new regime yesterday, but it'll take a day or two to really start kicking in, and in the meantime I've been popping tylenol like candy to keep myself from driving an icepick through my eardrum. And sleeping. I don't sleep much, I've never needed all that much. Yet I've probably slept 36 out of the last 48 hours, and been miserable every waking moment.

This has got to end. I've had one helluva string of minor medical mindfucks, and I'm ready to surrender. Hear that God? UNCLE already!!!!!

Posted by: Ted at 08:07 AM | Comments (78) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

December 07, 2007

It's, Like, the Universe is Conspiring Against Me

The lovely Joan opined in the comments elsewhere that perhaps I watch too many horror movies. I'm not sure that's even possible, but I want to assure everyone that I don't confine myself strictly to horror flicks.

Netflix has broken my heart not once, but *twice* this week when a sci-fi DVD arrived cracked and unplayable. Both times, it was Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity.

So there, I watch horror, sci-fi, *and* T&A.

Update: Heh, I just thought to myself, "I put the 'ick' in eclectic." Sometimes I just crack myself up.

Posted by: Ted at 10:52 PM | Comments (55) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Early Christmas Present

She's back.

Posted by: Ted at 05:16 AM | Comments (31) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

December 05, 2007

For The Record

I am not Sancho.

Posted by: Ted at 05:09 PM | Comments (175) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

December 02, 2007

Movie Review: Crawlspace

Disclosure: Recently I was asked by the folks at Wild Eye if I’d like some screeners to watch, and if I felt so inclined, they’d apprecieate it if I posted reviews of their offerings. My answer to them was “Hell yeah!”, and in a surprisingly short time I had two of their movies in my grubby hands.

These guys are starting to release old made-for-TV thrillers and horror flicks. This is the Rocket Jones review of the first one, in my own informal style. As an added bonus, Wildside Cinema has asked me to post reviews there as well (in their own format). So the astute businessmen at Wild Eye are getting a two-fer, which should be a lesson to all, Rocket Jones is an efficient use of your resources and you should all send me free screeners to review. End disclosure and shameless self-promotion.

I’m not a big television watcher, which is probably a good thing because if I watched more of it nowadays, then I’d really mourn for the days when network movies like this aired on a regular basis.

Crawlspace (1972) is a psychological drama about a retired couple who discover that a creepy young man named Richard is living in the crawlspace at the back of their basement. Being childless, the woman’s maternal instincts kick in and she talks her husband into letting Richard stay at least through the cold New England winter. They’ve met the guy before (he did some work for them in the old cottage they bought when they retired), and although he’s weird, he seems more socially retarded than scary. Before long they’re taking him meals and talking to him in the darkness, although he rarely answers back.

Slowly, the couple begin to draw Richard out of his shell. They appeal to his “civilized” side, which only works occasionally. It’s pretty obvious that Richard has mental problems, but he appears to be harmless and starts doing chores around the house for the couple. At the same time, the local police are suspicious of Richard and warn the couple about the dangers of the situation. The couple are offended by the attitude towards Richard as an “outsider”, without realizing that the townsfolk view them in the same way.

That right there, the distrust of people different than themselves, is the key to this movie. In and of itself it’s not a terrible thing, but when it crosses the line from suspicion to exclusion, then it becomes a problem. It’s kind of like if the town had had a local nutcase, they’d feel protective and make allowances for the odd behavior because they’d known him or her their whole lives. Yet if an eccentric hobo passes through town, then they’re ready to do the whole torch and pitchfork routine to rid their quiet community of the unknown menace. It’s one of the darker aspects of human nature.

Richard’s lack of social skills cause problems, especially since the prickly locals are looking for any excuse to be assholes. Things escalate, as these things tend to do, except that normally you don’t have a mentally unstable dude on your side. That’s not the advantage you’d think it would be in a situation like this, at least this time it wasn’t.

I’m not going to tell you any more of the story, because it really is worth seeing. The movie wastes no time and jumps right into an uncomfortable situation, and from there the tension gradually builds right to the end. Now, because it was a TV movie, Richard doesn’t seem all that scary and the parts that are supposed to be chilling are rather mild. Don’t expect a Hollywood-style blood and gore.

What you can expect is some damned fine acting and writing. The dialog rings true and the various performances are well done, and it’s especially interesting to watch the couple’s attitudes do a complete one-eighty as the movie progresses. The score is nicely done too. I don’t often mention the music in my reviews, so take that as a positive note.

Albert, the retiree, is played by Arthur Kennedy. Kennedy won a Tony award and was nominated four times for Oscars as Best Supporting Actor and once for Best Actor. His wife Alice is played by Teresa Wright, who was nominated for three Oscars in her first three movie roles! See what I mean about damned fine acting?

On to the details and the disk itself. The color of the transfer is slightly shifted to the red end of the spectrum, which made me think of… well, old television. It wasn’t so bad that it was a distraction. The fullscreen picture is clean and almost completely free of artifacts, although in places it is showing its age. Considering the original source is thirty-five years old, it’s a damn nice transfer.

It’s only 74 minutes long, meaning the original hour and a half was padded out with 16 minutes of commercials. Nowadays, it would be a miniseries. Sad.

There are no extras on the DVD, but I can’t think of anything Wild Eye could have included besides trailers from their other releases or some television commercials from that era or a plug to Rocket Jones (RocketJones.mu.nu). Any ideas?

I don’t see it on Netflix (yet), and unless you’re a television afficianado you will probably want to rent before buying. That said, I think they’re worth picking up. Yes, I said “they”. I have another review coming soon, for The Devil’s Daughter, and as much as I liked Crawlspace, I liked that one even more!

I’m going to finish this up by mentioning one unintentional laugh-out-loud moment during the movie. Richard comes upstairs for dinner, wearing a suit. With his wild hair and scraggly beard, he looks like the Geico caveman!

Posted by: Ted at 11:25 AM | Comments (531) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Scars Are Sexy

Ladies, don't correct me if I'm wrong about that.

Yesterday I had a spot of skin cancer removed from my face, and now I have 5 stitches. All I need is a couple of bolts sticking out of my neck and I'll be set.

In the future, I'll refer to it as what happened when I got into that knife fight.

Posted by: Ted at 01:08 AM | Comments (63) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

November 25, 2007

College Chicks Dig Rocket Jones

Two weekends ago I made the trip to Staunton, Virginia, for Rachael's Father-Daughter Dance weekend. I got there on Friday afternoon so that we could attend their latest play, The Vic. This may have been the first time that it had been performed outside of Canada and peeps, if you get the chance, see it. Very powerful, and this production was incredible. Inspired set design and performances. By far the best I've seen there, and they've put on some excellent shows. I also spent most of the intermission talking to the director who is also one of Rachael's professors, he's a helluva nice guy.

On Saturday, Rachael and I walked around historic downtown Staunton. We hit a couple of bookstores, browsed the farmer's market (last weekend until Spring) and checked out the galleries and museums. In the afternoon, a bunch of us, parents and kids, met at a local restaurant for an early dinner and had a great time. The girls are all very good friends, and this was the first time that most of us parents had met.

That evening was the ring ceremony and formal dance, held in the ballroom at the Stonewall Jackson Hotel. The idea here is that in their Junior year of school, the dad's present their daughters with their school ring. They call each couple up and the presentation is made with much photo taking and so on. Rachael picked out a vintage-style pearl and garnet filigree ring that is beautiful.

The dance was ok. Everyone had a problem with the constant disco ball and flashing colored lights from the stage, so we all (the same group from lunch, plus several more), stayed outside the ballroom in the lobby and danced and enjoyed the company. Had a great time.

After the dance, we'd been invited to the cast party for the show. I love hanging with the theater people.

The next morning, we had breakfast and I headed home. Tired but happy.

For Thanksgiving, everyone was home. Rachael and Robyn arrived on Wednesday to help with the baking and early cooking. Robyn brought her friend Ashley, who comments here occasionally and proves my point that college chicks dig Rocket Jones. Dinner was huge and traditional and we had a ton of leftovers, as usual.

In two week (I think, my internal calendar is overloaded), we head down to Norfolk for daughter Robyn's graduation from Old Dominion University. After the ceremony, a big group of us will be going to see the Norfolk Admirals play ice hockey.

Oh yeah, it's been good times for the proud papa.

Posted by: Ted at 09:43 AM | Comments (710) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Missing in Action

*blink*

Has it really been almost two weeks since I last posted something?

Activity here at Rocket Jones will continue to be very light until further notice. Lots going on in real life.

I am *not* shutting this place down. In fact, I've got a redesign in mind, but it'll take a while to get to it.

When I first started this place - and then moved to Munuviana thanks to Pixy Misa - I had disposable time which has since evaporated. Liz was up and about, still working, and we had kids at home to help with the daily stuff. Since then, Liz's condition has deteriorated to where her mobility is severely restricted and all of the kids have flown the nest (which is a very good thing). So my daily to-do list has gotten much longer.

My health has been a distraction as well. There was the thyroid thing and this week I go in to have a skin cancer removed. I was really pissed off at the dermatologist, because I don't care how common or well-behaved it may be, you don't drop the "c" word on someone that casually. Having been outrageously healthy my entire life, this last year has messed with my mind some. I've always been the one supporting the person with a medical problem, and now the focus is on me and I'm not handling *that* nearly as well.

Other hobbies have shuffled in the priority stack, as they tend to do. I have a large backlog of movies to watch and review. My guitar has been calling out to me to be picked up much more often. My cooking and baking has gotten better and more ambitious. Next spring begins yet another relandscaping of the backyard, now that the front yard is complete. Rocket is rockets.

And, believe it or not, I'm excited about an upcoming video game release. We haven't owned a console since the original Nintendo (bought way late after the prices came down). The last games I spent any real time playing on the PC were Starcraft and Myst, which were both many, many years ago. I've recently discovered that Starcraft II is due out next year, and I can't wait! Ten years after the original and with a major updating in the technology behind the game, I'm replaying the original now to get back into what little groove I had going.

So that's what's been up. I'll still be around, and probably commenting more at your places. I'll still be posting the occasional recipe and movie reviews, and I still post reviews over at Wildside Cinema (their completely redesigned website will be opening on December 15th).

I'm not pining for the fjords, I'm much too busy for that.

Posted by: Ted at 09:00 AM | Comments (58) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

November 14, 2007

I Could Vote For The Guy

King Juan Carlos of Spain tells Hugo Chavez to "shut up" and the audio clip becomes one of the hottest cell phone ring tones on the Iberian peninsula. Gotta love him. How much?

2008ThompsonJuanCarlos.jpg

This much.

Posted by: Ted at 06:18 PM | Comments (674) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

November 11, 2007

Weekend Update

The house is quiet, the dishes have been caught up with, and a good weekend was had by all 'cept one. Liz fell Friday night and is pretty much bedridden until further notice. I've been doing nurse duty in addition to everything else going on. Luckily, our son was home yesterday to help Liz out while the girls and I went to the Smithsonians in DC.

Mookie's four friends are all art majors/minors, so we concentrated on the art and artifact museums. Pottery, paintings, sculptures, photography and more. Next time, we'll do the old dead critters and Air and Space.

I did do some tour guiding, beginning with our drive into Rosslyn (we metro'd in from there). We passed the Pentagon, Arlington Cemetery, Iwo Jima Memorial and the new Air Force Memorial en route. Once on the mall, I started explaining how the Smithsonians came into being. You do know the story, right? If not, then read on, otherwise jump ahead to where it says "ZEBRA".

James Smithson was born in France and became a naturalized English citizen. He was a recognized scientist of his day in a few different disciplines. He died in Genoa, Italy and his will left a small amount to a long-time servant and the rest of the estate to his nephew, with the proviso that if the nephew died without an heir then the entire estate would go to the US Government to found "The Smithsonian Institution". The nephew did die a few years later sans heir and the whole shebang went to Uncle Sam.

There was quite a bit of debate about what form the "Smithsonian" should take. Some argued for research labs or farms, others for an observatory. In the end, it was decided to do "D, all of the above". Besides the museums, the Smithsonian has other facilities around the world doing a wide range of work.

In Genoa, the cemetery where Smithson was buried was being condemned, so the US Government had his tomb brought to the USA. It was the first time Smithson had ever been to the US. He made his incredible gift to a country that he'd never visited, for reasons that nobody knows. His tomb is now installed in the famous Smithsonian Castle on the National Mall, and you can visit it (we did).

ZEBRA

Somehow, we started this goofy running gag we called "dead Rachael". Shannon had her camera phone, and at various times and places in and around the museums, we'd take pictures of Rachael in death. In an elevator in the Freer, draped over an upper balcony in the Sackler, slumped over in a chair beside a piece in the Hirschhorn, and on the steps leading up to the National Art Gallery. All places where "dead Rachael" was captured on film... er, on pixels. I did try to convince her to pose for a shot floating face down in one of the museum fountains, but she has more common sense than her dad, if not quite the level of spirited adventure.

The girls all had different ideas of what to see at the last place, so we split up. I wanted to visit the William Turner exhibit, but the line was a mile long and I just didn't have the time. I contented myself with wandering a few of the other rooms, admiring the works of Rembrandt and Monet and Van Gogh and the rest of the famous old dead dudes. I will admit I was rather horrified to see the number of children who were running around only marginally supervised, especially because you can get pretty damn close to the artwork before the proximity alarms go off. I barely caught myself a time or two from snapping at a child who was reaching to touch one of the paintings, and judging from security's reactions towards the parents, I think I'll have a position waiting for me after I retire.

Next week we travel to Staunton for the Father/Daughter Ring Dance. It's a junior year tradition where I present Rachael with her school ring. We went with garnets in an antique filigree rather than the traditional, because Rachael loves red and antique style jewelry. Rachael helped pick it out, she loves it.

So life stays hectic. As much as I love just chillin' sometimes, there's something invigorating about having to go-go-go for a stretch.

Posted by: Ted at 08:23 PM | Comments (760) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

November 08, 2007

Current Events

There are huge* numbers of Rocket Jones fans who will be green with envy at the following announcement.

This weekend, five (*5*, count 'em eff-eye-vee-eee) college age girls will be living under my roof.

On Saturday, we will all be heading into Washington, DC to the Smithsonians, specifically the Hirshhorn, Freer and Sackler galleries.

And, I get to cook. I've already been informed that the ladies will gladly be guinea pigs for whatever experimental recipes I want to throw at them. After all, they've been surviving on college cafeteria food. *shudder*

I've been planning the menu for a couple of weeks and started gathering ingredients. Last night I began cooking. The menu for the time they'll be here (and most everything will be from scratch, right down to the sauces and marinades):

Friday Evening:
Veggie-Patch Enchiladas
Chicken and Steak Fajitas
Spanish Rice
Tropical Dream Cake

Saturday Morning:
French Toast from home-made Cinnamon Raisin Bread

Saturday Evening:
Baked Potato Soup
Pasta e Fagioli Soup
Garlic Bread
Chocolate Crunch Trifle

Sunday Morning:
Oatmeal with cooked apples

=========================================
* "huge", as defined by this authoritative source

Posted by: Ted at 05:00 AM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

November 07, 2007

67 Billion Dollars!!!!!

This morning I heard a report that people leaving hostile workplaces because of sexual or racist comments cost the economy 67 billion dollars a year. According to the report, more than half a million people changed jobs last year for that reason, and lost productivity and the need to train replacements cost 67 billion dollars.

Of course, the study was released by "The Center for a Level Playing Field in the Workplace", or some similar nonsense. That's kinda like being surprised when "The Institude for the Study of Global Warming" announces that global warming is real.

Twelve trillion Americans are sick and tired of bullshit statistics. You can quote me on that, in my official capacity as a member of "The Institute for Pulling Made-Up Numbers Out of My Butt".

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (54) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Off The Cuff Punditry

We had local elections yesterday. In our county, the entire board of supervisors was reelected, based on their strong anti-illegal alien actions. My wife noticed that in other races, the winners all had the more "American" sounding names. Wilson beat Dominguez, Stewart beat Pandak, etc. Probably coincidence, but I wonder how many people voted based on nothing but last names because they had no idea what the candidate's qualifications were.

Up in Loudon county, the radio announced that all the "pro-growth" Republicans (save one, we'll talk about him in a moment) were defeated by "slow-growth" Democrats. I suspect that the argument was framed that way, but what it really was was "broaden the tax base" Republicans against "raise existing taxes" Democrats. The one Republican incumbant who kept his seat was described as "strongly anti-homosexual who campaigned vigorously against illegal immigrants". Sounds like the folks of Loudon county hate gays, eh? It must be, I mean, the media wouldn't take a casual shot at a Republican, would they?

Posted by: Ted at 06:05 AM | Comments (218) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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