Rocket Jones

August 15, 2005

"To a new world of Gods and Monsters"

You may recognize the title of this as a toast given by Dr. Pretorius in Bride of Frankenstein.

I haven't done a movie review in a while because I haven't watched many movies lately, and the ones I've seen have been unremarkable. But last week, thanks to my lovely wife, I scored a copy of Frankenstein: the Legacy Collection. I've been lusting after these since they came out, and I've already let Santa know that I expect the Dracula and Mummy sets for Christmas*.

But this isn't going to be a simple movie review, nor even just a review about the collection on DVD. Right now (and I may edit the heck out of this before I hit "publish"), this might best be described as a love letter to a dear old friend.

To many people, the term "horror movie" is interchangable with "slasher flick". I'm not a huge fan of blood and gore, preferring to be scared instead of grossed out (yes, I said that with a straight face, even though my movie collection contains more blood orgy's than the average).

Even within the horror genre there are sub-genres. Just as Dracula is the embodiment of supernatural evil and Alien has become the ultimate "creature" movie, Frankenstein's Monster is the ultimate monster character. Written by Mary Shelley** at the age of 19, the tale is less a horror story than a morality play about the consequences that result when man plays God.

Over time though, Frankenstein became a parody of itself. Mention the name and for most what comes forth in the mind's eye is a figure comprised of equal parts Herman Munster, Lurch and maybe Peter Boyle's comic portayal in Young Frankenstein. All fun, but none of them are even close to the original. Many people don't even recognize the original story when they see pieces of it in other movies (I give Van Helsing big points for being fairly true to the original in it's opening scenes). For instance, that brilliant bit in Young Frankenstein about the abnormal brain? Mel Brooks lifted that scene almost verbatim from the original movie, and most people never even realized.

The various stage versions of Frankenstein were very popular, and when the film was released in 1931 starring Boris Karloff, it became a huge hit.

The film is riddled with anachronisms and peculiarities, yet it retains its underlying believability because everyone acts consistantly within the story. The village is full of peasants named Hans and Karl, and led by a Burgermeister, yet everyone speaks with a very British accent. Somehow it works, and it's not until later that you think to yourself, "just where the heck was all that supposed to have happened?" The answer supplied by Universal Studios was "alternate reality", which neatly explains away all the inconsistancies.

Frankenstein's Monster and Maria

I was pleased to find that the original version had been restored. In 1931 and again in later years during each rerelease, censors insisted on editing out scenes deemed too intense or inflamatory for the mores of the day. Unfortunately, these cuts also altered the story in significant ways. Probably the most famous of these edits involved the scene where the monster encounters Maria. What moviegoers originally saw was the monster looking at the little girl through the trees at the edge of the lake, then later the father carrying the body of the drowned child. The restored version shows how the child was unafraid of the monster and they played together tossing flowers into the water to watch them float. Innocently, the monster then tosses Maria into the lake, thinking she'll float too. The result is still tragic, but the motivation is revealed to be completely different, even sympathetic instead of evil.

Without going into the story beyond that, here's a one sentence review of the original version of Frankenstein: See it.

So how does one go about creating a sequel worthy of a megahit? First, you convince the original director to come back, then you bring back as much of the original cast as possible.

Thus, becomes 1935's Bride of Frankenstein.

This followup may be even better than the masterpiece it reprises. Once again, the keystone of the story is man inpinging upon God's purview, and the consequences of doing so. Rather than just recreating the style and mood of the original story, Bride is more in every sense. More humor, more pathos, more irony.

Dr. Frankenstein is recovering from his final encounter with the monster he created when he recieves a visit from an old acquaintance. Dr. Pretorius was one of Frankenstein's professors at the medical institute, one who was a main inspiration and motivator for Frankenstein's experiments.

Doctor Pretorius introduces elements to his character that evoke Hannibal Lecter more than fifty years before that human monster appeared. He is brilliant, urbane, witty, magnetic and utterly amoral. He shows Dr. Frankenstein the amazing progress he's made in his own experiments, and blackmails Frankenstein into combining their talents to advance even further.

The Bride of Frankenstein

I won't give any more of the story here, suffice it to say that there are plenty of peasants bearing torches, rampaging monsters and spectacular electrical effects in the laboratory. That's for the those who haven't seen it before (or recently). There's so much more to the story though, including religious references that pushed the limits of what the censors of the day would allow. This is an incredibly rich movie experience, and I haven't even talked about the bride.

Once again, in one sentence: See it!

On to the DVD collection itself. There are three more movies in the collection that I haven't gotten to yet: Son of Frankenstein, Ghost of Frankenstein and House of Frankenstein, along with hours of theatrical trailers, movie poster archives, production stills from scenes edited out of the movies, short subjects and commentary by film historians for the two films I talked about above. This isn't filler, it's an amazing amount of additional material that really adds to the package. All total, you get two disks in the package, and the second disk is double sided. I've heard that there were problems with the early packaging that resulted in some damaged and unplayable disks, but the issues mentioned seem to have been resolved in my set. I'll let you know if I run into any problems.

Ok, bottom line for the Frankenstein: the Legacy Collection: Folks, this set runs less than $30.00, and it's well worth it!


Movie Trivia: In the opening cast credits, The Monster is shown with a question mark instead of Boris Karloff's name. This is a tribute to the very first stage production of Frankenstein's Monster performed in 1823 (that's not a typo), when the actor who portrayed the monster was credited the same way.

Quick, what were Dr. Frankenstein's and his assistant's first names? If you said Viktor and Igor, you were wrong. The correct names were Henry Frankenstein and Fritz.

Bette Davis was considered for the role of Dr. Frankenstein's fiance.

Many consider the first horror film to be a fifteen minute long version of Frankenstein done by Thomas Edison's film studio in New York in 1910.


*I'm not so interested in the Wolfman or Invisible Man collections, although I'll admit to being intrigued by the Creature from the Black Lagoon set.

**Mary Shelley was travelling as Percy Shelley's lover at the time***. Percy Shelley is now considered one of England's greatest poets, and they were visiting with Lord Byron, another extraordinary poet. During the visit they experienced a powerful thunderstorm, which inspired Lord Byron to suggest that they each write a ghost story. Frankenstein was the only story from the group to be published.

***Technically, she was still Mary Godwin when she wrote the story. Shelley abandoned his wife and two children to run off with Mary Godwin. Soon, in the same year that Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus was published, Shelley's wife committed suicide, leaving the way open for him to make Mary Godwin his wife.

Posted by: Ted at 04:31 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 14, 2005

Paooki*

Meryl Yourish had an encounter with a big-assed spider who built it's web in her front doorway.

I had a similar situation recently, and managed to get photos too.

(in the extended entry)

*Paook is the Russian word for spider.

Posted by: Ted at 09:34 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

New Trend? I hope so!

I've been sitting on this one awhile, awaiting further developments.

Some bloggers, like Instapundit, get free books to review. That's cool.

Thanks to Triticale, I learned that a short while ago Jeff (a prominent 2nd Ammendment blogger) was given the opportunity to preview a new firearm. That's very cool.

Lastly, a couple of weeks ago, I got an email referring to the Rocket Jones online biography on Brinke Stevens. It seems that Ms Stevens has written a new horror movie which is now out as an indie effort, and yours truly was offered a review copy. How cool is that?

The internet is a twisted place full of unexpected surprises. If you're using it right.

Posted by: Ted at 07:47 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

I couldn't decide on a title

So here, take your pick:

  • Reason #4,367 Why I Love Mu.Nu

  • Defining a need is 75% of solving the problem

  • Zombies overrun convent after nuns run out of ammo

Michele defined the need, which was the ability to post comments to blogs when reading via a PDA. See, she reads at lunch, away from her desk, and wanted a way to provide feedback without annoying her bosses by doing it on company time.

She emailed me, and I sent an email to one much wiser than I in this kind of technical matter. She also contacted Eric, who has come up with a solution! Rob at Light&Dark also chipped in to help avoid a potential pitfall for some of us.

Michele is also going to do a kind of "RSS Feeds for Dummies" post this weekend. I'm looking forward to that.

So there you go, Mu.Nu collectively putting it's heads together to resupply those poor nuns with enough hollow-points to tire out their holy little trigger fingers.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

Posted by: Ted at 07:01 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 13, 2005

Hockey post, sort of

At least Pete mentions hockey in this funny story.

Posted by: Ted at 11:40 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Hah! And people call me clueless...

I've been listening to quite a few podcasts lately, and it seems that the hardware of choice is the PowerBook. I did some comparison shopping, and dang, those things are expensive!

So you can imagine my surprise when I saw this ad on television last night, offering me a Book of Power for only $89.95! Plus it's personally autographed by the Right Reverend Joe Jim Skeevy. It's smaller than that clunky thing y'all are using too.

I know, y'all are rolling your eyes at me right now, but listen, this guys' a preacher, and he made this little crippled kid stand up and everything. I trust him.

I plunked down an extra twenty for super-rush-immediate delivery. So y'all can expect the first Rocket Jones podcast real soon now, as soon as my new Book of Power shows up.

Boy howdy, I'm excited.

Posted by: Ted at 08:14 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 12, 2005

I was already in a good mood

...and then Sears called, asking if I wanted to extend my warranty on, of all things, my freezer.

I know she was just a drone, but it still felt good to rip into yet another Sears employee after the way they screwed us over.

I didn't even swear. Honest.

Posted by: Ted at 04:37 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

I don't see one of these in my future

But I know quite a few people who can't wait for this keyboard designed for gamers.

Posted by: Ted at 11:38 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

What else would warriors watch?

From Off Wing Opinion, I promise that this link will bring a gap-toothed smile to a hockey fan's face.

Posted by: Ted at 11:27 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Thanks, I needed that

Got home from work yesterday afternoon, chatted with Liz and Rachael for a short bit, said no to dinner, then went to sleep until this morning. I remember getting up twice for a glass of juice and once to let the dogs out.

Once in a while you gotta catch up.

Posted by: Ted at 06:12 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Entry for next week's Carnival of Music

Apparently there's a series that's been airing lately called "Rockstar INXS" that I don't watch (and according to Spoons, I'll burn in hell for missing it - sounds like double jeopardy to me). Anyway, one of the contestants, a young black man named Ty, laments:

It was hard for me... because, like, being the only black person on the show, sometimes I do have to think about like what I represent. You can count on your hand how many people have been able to succeed in Rock and Roll that are, you know, African-American, and I think it's unfair... (sobbing, squealing) you know it just hurts me!

Spoons then proceeds to convincingly smack Ty upside his virtual head. This is a must read, folks.

Posted by: Ted at 06:09 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 11, 2005

How come?

The word "crusade" is generally accepted in the West as a term meaning a great struggle for a cause. To us, it's a strong word to denote a noble and just effort. Yet we're not allowed to use it because it offends Muslims who only see it as a historical reference.

The word "jihad" is generally accepted in the West as a term meaning a great struggle for a cause. The cause may be good, but good is defined by the individual, and we hear most often about the jihad against us infidels, and how they want us all dead or enslaved. So, basically, jihad means war against the West.

Explain to me why we can't use our word, yet they can use theirs?

Posted by: Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Dang, I wanted to be Tim

Take the quiz: "Which Holy Grail Character Are You?"

The Bridge Keeper
'Answer me these questions three, n'er the other side ye see.'

Seen all over, most recently at TexasBestGrok.

Posted by: Ted at 11:44 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Conversation Snippet

Robyn (about her boyfriend): I have to take him to work on Monday because his car failed inspection.

Me: Bummer.

Robyn: He's hoping to get his motorcycle fixed this weekend, but he needs a truck to get it to his Dad's house so they can work on it.

Me (remembering): Doesn't he own a truck?

Robyn: Yeah, but it's parked at his house. Needs a transmission.

Me: You might be a redneck if...

Robyn: Be nice.

Posted by: Ted at 11:22 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Noted in passing

The last three trackbacks to Rocket Jones are:

Hi. My name is Shank, and I'm a pussy.

Pestilence.

YUM!

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Honored

Yesterday Eric was nearing the landmark of the 1000th comment left at his place. My timing was perfect and I managed to leave that magic comment, and of course it was pithy and philosophical without being too emotionally charged.

It was also about zombies.

So head on over, check out the awesome prize I've been awarded, and leave a comment to kick-start the climb towards #2000.

Thanks, Eric.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Microsoft is Republican, Apple is Democrat

(this rant brought to you by my findings while doing some online research)

Microsoft is big and rich and evil and gets no credit for their good charitable works, because they're not doing *enough*. Besides, they're big and rich and evil.

Apple is hip and cool and stands for the common man, because they're not Microsoft.

The iPod Shuffle has a built-in battery designed to deactivate after 144 charges. The battery is charged through the USB connector, which is also how you load songs onto the Shuffle. So if you change the songs on your Shuffle, regardless of the battery status, it counts as a recharge. And you only get 144 of them.

Apple charges sixty bucks to replace the Shuffle battery, which is 35%-65% of the entire unit price, depending on the model. If Microsoft tried crap like folks would be up in arms about what a ripoff it was and how they were taking advantage of their monopoly to jack up the little people for bigger profits. You know, like Republicans do.

Yet people bend over and let Apple stick it to 'em without complaint because you *know* that Apple is cool and hip and stands up for the regular guy. Like Democrats do.

You ignore the fact that *both* sides are screwing you over.

Lemmings.

Update: Pixy did some investigating and it looks like the 144 charge claim is an unsubstantiated myth lie. So we're back to the status quo, i.e. Microsoft is still evil, Apple is still hip and cool (even though they've sucked up bigtime to U2. Ick.)

Posted by: Ted at 05:23 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

If God were anti-gun, why'd he make so many stupid drivers?

Not to mention letting Moses head up the NRA. Yet another "nun gun fun" post.

(in the extended entry - safe for work)

Posted by: Ted at 04:56 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 10, 2005

A little personal Feng Shui

Guys, if you're packing to the left, try switching to the right, or vice-versa. Of course, if you're scoring plenty then you should ignore this.

Posted by: Ted at 04:22 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

PDA Software Review - Boulder Dash

Remember Boulder Dash? It's still around, better than ever and it's been ported to the Pocket PC platform. Check out my latest review over at Mozongo.

Posted by: Ted at 11:23 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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