March 12, 2006

Things that make you go hmmmm

Rocket Jones is number 2 on the Google search for "how to meet a guy in the grocery store".

Number 1 is "The Best Places to Meet Gay Men".

I'm not sure what to think about that.

Posted by: Ted at 07:15 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

March 11, 2006

Why is it?

Bosses are "visionary".

Peons are "hallucinatory".

Posted by: Ted at 08:43 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

March 10, 2006

Digging through unposted "draft" articles

Alien loves Predator

Make your own Flying Spaghetti Monster. (Thanks Owlish!)

K, proprietor extrordanaire of Kimochii (Asian cuties in various stages of dress and undress), has combined his several sites into one. Enjoy K's Lounge (NSFW).

Posted by: Ted at 09:49 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Rocketry Stuff (and a note for Russ)

Because this *is* Rocket Jones ya know.

I've been talking about "certification" and "Level 2" and such, without ever explaining what that means.

A while back I posted a Beginner's FAQ explaining the hobby rocket motor codes, and another post illustrating the size of some of these motors. You can read it for more detail, but I'll try to explain it here without needing to follow that link.

This all applies to the US. Canada, the UK, and probably other countries have their own variations.

Until recently, if you were younger than age 18 then the largest motor you could fly was a "G" motor (up to about 16lbs of thrust). There were ways around that limit, by having an adult purchase and possess the motor and take responsibility for the flight, even though a minor may have done most of the work. The National Association of Rocketry (NAR) has introduced a program where a youngster can legally fly high power motors, basically by standardizing the "sponsor" requirements.

High power motors are defined as "H" power and above, and you need to make a certification flight to prove that you can construct a safe rocket for the power involved. For Level 1, your flight has to be witnessed by two members of your rocketry organization who are also Level 1. Safely flying and recovering the rocket means you can purchase and use "H" and "I" motors (a little better than 140 lbs of thrust).

Level 2 requires the certification flight, but you also have to pass a written test about organization information, government laws and regulations and general rocketry knowledge. That's the level that I'm working towards, and once I get there I can fly "J", "K" and "L" motors (up to 1,150 lbs of thrust).

The top level right now is Level 3, for "M", "N" and "O" motors (and up I suppose, an "O" produces up to 9,208 lbs of thrust). For this, you're assigned two advisors who already have their Level 3 certification, and you must document the construction process and put together a binder showing details about the rocket and simulations of the expected flight. There are also additional safety requirements at this level. Like the others, you must make a flight and recover the rocket undamaged.

So that's the certification process that I keep babbling about.

Russ, I'd be happy to sign off on your Level 1 flight.

As for the Zinger drag race, well, you're on! Someone once described the Zinger as "arial pornography" and I've got to agree. I thought I had an unbuilt kit somewhere but I can't find it, so send me the specs and fin measurements and I'll have one ready for the next launch.

And since the next launch is on April first, I've got a few fun and/or odd April Fool's rockets that'll be ready to go as well. I'm looking forward to this one!

Posted by: Ted at 05:58 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Well,Ted,I was actually instigating,oops,I meant suggesting a

race between I and the kid.However,a duel* with you sounds

enticing.I accept your challenge.After all I've never been

afraid to whoop up on someone my own size.HEHEHE!!!!!Yer

goin' DOWN dude!!!!!
What you'll need to be like totally embarrasssed by me and to

become my own private April fool will be:

A)1/BT-20-7" long
B)3/fins 1/2" wide w/a 2" leading edge a 1 9/16" trailing

edge and a rear sweep of 40 degrees.The trailing edge mounts

flush with the rear of the BT.
C)Nose cone 20N

Had to pull my busted Zinger out of the scrap box for the

measurements since this one appears on niether Ye Old Rockets

or Jimz.These are the specs i'll build mine to.As you know

the Zinger has squared off fin tips.I had thought about

making my next one(this one)with rounded fins in the Estes

Mosquito style.If you wouldn't mind building them with that

one little mod just let me know.I'll understand,however,if

you wanna play purist and all.
Well good luck on your L2 progress.Can't wait to see it.
Oh and BTW I was gonna post something about the 70's but it

got waaaaay out of hand.I'm talking mega post.I actually got

so burnt out on it I had to stop for a bit.Sometime soon I'll

finish it up and find somewhere to post it though.

*Scene from Robin Hood:Men In Tights.
Sherrif:"Sir,I challenge you to a duel" as he slaps Robin

with a glove.
Robinicking up a steel glove,"I accept" as he backhanded

blasts the sherrif across the jaw.
I laugh my ass off every time I think about that.

Posted by: Russ at March 10, 2006 11:54 PM (ObxzR)

2 Russ, feel free to round your fin tips.

Posted by: Ted at March 11, 2006 02:59 PM (+OVgL)

3 Will do,Ted.Oh and BTW,thanks for agreeing to witness my L1.

Posted by: Russ at March 11, 2006 04:09 PM (ObxzR)

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Evil I tell you, pure eeeevil!

To all those cheering the "defeat" of President Bush on his stupid idea to let Dubai run American seaports, I have only one thing to say:

Dubya just made you his bitch.

Now Dubai will sell their interest to an American company. A company owned, no doubt, by a wealthy friend of President Bush. Meaning one of his rich friends just got a whole lot richer. And you asked... no, you demanded it. Just like he planned all along.

If it's Halliburton, I will laugh until I cry.

Posted by: Ted at 12:14 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

March 08, 2006

No Easter This Year

They found the body.

Note: If this offends you, I don't want to hear it. Go burn down an embassy or something.

Posted by: Ted at 11:27 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Ted,I'd probably find it a bit easier to get pissed off if I knew just what the hell you where getting at.

Posted by: Russ at March 08, 2006 09:58 PM (ObxzR)

2 [comment removed]

just another type of spam - RJ

Posted by: thepoetryman at March 09, 2006 12:12 AM (ySD0r)

3 From what I heard he got hooked up with Mary Magdelan and they blew that popsicle stand.

Posted by: Oorgo at March 09, 2006 02:05 PM (lM0qs)

4 Bwahahahahahahahaa

Posted by: BLUE at March 10, 2006 10:33 AM (4Xncc)

5 LMAO!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 10, 2006 02:10 PM (p0BT1)

6 Have I told you lately that I love you?

Posted by: Susie at March 14, 2006 12:54 PM (a0oF7)

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NaNoWriMo - again, finally

Chapters 13 and 14 are in the extended entry.

You can find chapters 1 and 2 here.
Chapters 3 and 4 here.
Chapters 5 and 6 here.
Chapters 7 and 8 here.
Chapters 9 and 10 here.
Chapters 11 and 12 here.

There now, all caught up.

I know it's been awhile. No promises, but I'll try to get back into the once-a-week posting of this story. We're almost to the point where I'd lost a few chapters, so after this I'll be back to winging it.

Enjoy. Leave feedback. Thanks.

Posted by: Ted at 11:26 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Bashing Barry Bonds Brings Boffo Book Sales

I'm admittedly biased because I'm a Giants fan and a Barry Bonds fan, but this latest rash of headlines about Bonds starting to use "a vast array" of performance enhancing drugs in 1998 is bullshit.

The book was written by two newspaper reporters who covered the BALCO steroid scandal. Their sources? Nothing new, just the same trial transcripts, interviews and other documents that Major League Baseball, Congress and law enforcement authorities have had all along. And, you know, Bonds is soooo busted by what's there.

Not.

This is a rehash of old information, hyped to boost book sales. Does Barry Bonds have a history of cheating? I have no idea, but I do know that up to this point, despite numerous investigations and allegations, no one has been able to prove a thing.

Two "reporters" trash someone's name in order to make a buck. What a surprise.

Posted by: Ted at 05:15 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Bashing Barry Bonds Brings Boffo Book Buying

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at March 08, 2006 07:36 AM (DdRjH)

2 Yeah, ruin my asymmetrical title will you?

Posted by: Ted at March 08, 2006 05:25 PM (+OVgL)

3 You are kidding, right? Look at any photo of pre-1998 Bonds and one from 2000-2003. It's not the same player.

Posted by: j. dylan at March 08, 2006 05:28 PM (s4AvR)

4 Like I said, nobody knows for sure. But instead of cherry picking photos 3-5 years apart, try this. Look at a spring training photo from every year of his career. He went from a skinny kid to a muscular man, and it wasn't over a brief period of time either. Bonds works hard with weights all year round, and he's had a personal trainer for years. Does that mean he didn't take steroids? No. But it means that there is another possibility. He might be telling the truth.

Posted by: Ted at March 08, 2006 05:56 PM (+OVgL)

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March 07, 2006

Launch Report - 3/5/2006

Who: NOVAAR
Where: Great Meadow Equestrian Center, The Plains, VA
When: 10am - 4pm
Weather: Winds from 10-20mph

Our rocketry club, NOVAAR, had scheduled a two-day launch event for the weekend, but high winds scrubbed Saturday. Sunday was still quite windy, but we had a great time anyway.

I loaded up the car with some small rockets to fly, but wasn't expecting much because of the wind. When I got to the field I was amazed to see probably 50+ cars there.

I caught up with some friends and talked rockets for awhile, then I headed over to the launch control area to see what was up. On the way I passed a whole gaggle of high schooler's who were there with their Science teacher, prepping egg-lofting rockets. At the table I was drafted into helping do pre-flight safety checks because we were about to get swamped by all those students. I stayed busy for better than an hour, checking rockets, asking questions and making suggestions on things to do differently and/or better in the future.

Besides the egg lofters, there were a few high power flights made, including Mitch's Endevour clone on a J350. His rockets are so reliable that they're almost routine.

A young guy named Ben made a couple of memorable flights with a little orange rocket. By little, I mean about the length of your finger, and he stuffed the largest motor he could fit into this little thing, a C6-5. On the first flight, I watched it zoom nearly out of sight and somehow managed to pick it up on the way down and saw it land. It's too small and light for a chute or streamer, it does what we call tumble recovery. I had a line on it on the ground, and Ben and I walked out there and pretty much right up to it in the middle of the field. Unbelievable, because that combination is almost certain "fire-and-forget".

He did it again later, but lost it. After his family left the launch, Ben's orange rocket reappeared on the lost-and-found table. Someone else found it while looking for their rocket. Ben will be getting it back.

I picked several people's brains for ideas and suggestions for my Level 2 rocket. Then I admired Bart's photo album and stories about his successful Level 3 flight. Bart flew out to Arizona to launch with his brother at an event in the desert. His rocket flew on an "M" motor, weighed 40 lbs at take off and achieved an altitude of 7600 feet. It came down perfectly under chute and Bart now has his Level 3 certification so he can fly with the big big boys.

I did make two flights of my own, both small model rockets.

1. Vampyre - A10-3T - this minimum diameter ring-fin always screams off the pad and gives a great flight. Recovered undamaged on a streamer.

2. Groove Tube - B4-4 - a classic Centuri clone, you could see the wind pushing the rocket sideways as it ascended. It drifted a long way even though I used another streamer instead of a parachute.

Our next club launch is April 1 and 2. There will be contest flying (helicopter, chute, streamer and glider recovery models, plus an altitude event), and as always flying for fun is encouraged. I'm planning to be there both days, and I'll have something high power to fly too.

Y'all are invited.

Posted by: Ted at 04:53 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

March 06, 2006

Playing the game for the sheer joy of it

I was sad when Kirby Puckett was forced to retire from baseball because glaucoma made him blind in one eye. I'm stunned that he's passed away at age 44 from a stroke.

Thank you, Kirby, for all the joy you displayed on the field, and for showing us all that you could be great and still have fun playing the game.

Posted by: Ted at 09:09 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Skipping the "make an ugly woman your wife" part

Eat a live bug every morning when you wake up, and nothing worse will happen to you all day long.

Posted by: Ted at 05:16 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

March 05, 2006

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree

Gir's Calgary Flames beat my beloved San Jose Sharks again last night, and so I will display her cool logo on my page.

Congrats, Gir!

Posted by: Ted at 08:15 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Play That Funky Music White Boy

70's music.

Do you remember back in old L.A. (Oh, oh, oh)

When everybody drove a Chevrolet (Oh, oh, oh)

Whatever happened to the boy next door

The sun-tanned, crew-cut, All-American male?

Disco. Bee Gees. Tavares. Donna Summer.

Beach baby, beach baby, give me your hand

Give me something that I can remember

Just like before we can walk by the shore in the moonlight.

The radio was filled with cheesy fun like Carl Douglas singing about Kung Fu Fighting and Paper Lace telling us about The Night Chicago Died. Disco Duck. Rubberband Man.

Beach baby, beach baby, there on the sand

From July to the end of September

Surfin' was fun we'd be out in the sun every day.

The Sound of Philadelphia. Average White Band. Wild Cherry. Tower of Power.

Ooooh, I never thought that it could end

Ooooh, and I was everybody's friend

Long hot days

Blue sea haze

Jukebox plays

But now it's fading away

Rick James. Sly and the Family Stone. Earth, Wind & Fire. Marvin Gaye.

We couldn't wait for graduation day (Oh, oh, oh)

We took the car and drove to San Jose (Oh, oh, oh)

That's where you told me that you'd wear my ring

I guess you don't remember anything.

Johnny Cash. Loretta Lynn. Marty Robbins.

Surfin' was fun we'd be out in the sun every day.

Black Sabbath. Robin Trower.

California in the 70's. Freakin' paradise.

Posted by: Ted at 08:39 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

March 04, 2006

Internet Resource

Ever have a conversation and someone wonders which movie it was where what's-her-name gets decapitated/disemboweled/immolated? Or you wonder if a certain actress ever gets killed on the big screen? Yeah, me too. All the time.

Now you can find out at Cinemorgue. Indexed by actress name, he even includes nudity alerts (where she dies naked). These aren't just the big names either, he's got some very obscure performers here. Very cool, and the enterprising soul could come up with a few bar-bet winners too by golly.

And for the ladies, there is a separate index for actors and their on-screen demise. Just scroll down to the bottom of the Cinemorgue page for the link.

Posted by: Ted at 09:16 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

If you didn't want to see it before, you really don't now

Over at Q&O, I saw that an animal rights group is complaining that Oscar nominee Brokeback Mountain was "too rough on sheep".

Stunt doubles? Setup for the sequel? I'll never know.

Posted by: Ted at 08:23 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

March 03, 2006

To my fellow commuter

You drive straight stretches like Shirley Muldowney and you weave in and out of traffic like the Keystone Kops. The fact that you drive a Prius decorated with Habitat for Humanity and Save the Bay stickers doesn't make you an environmentally-conscientious world citizen.

It makes you a clueless prick.

Posted by: Ted at 05:27 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

March 02, 2006

Show and a Dinner

On my way home from work this afternoon I stopped at the grocery store. Now normally I enjoy grocery shopping because I like to cook almost as much as I like to eat. The store I usually go to is pretty good, mainly because it's very convenient to get in and out. But it also seems to be a magnet for the mentally ill.

When it's nice out, there's one old nut-lady who sits out front and chatters away at everyone who comes and goes. Occasionally she'll wander inside and count the carts.

A very occasional visitor is "the preacher", who will try his best to strike up a conversation with you, which quickly turns religious. Come along about the second sentence you direct at him, he starts slipping random items into your cart. The first time he did this to me, I asked him what he was doing, and he explained that a good christian man like myself wouldn't begrudge a few groceries to someone in need. I had to laugh because he just grabs whatever is closest and acts like you'll never notice what he's doing. That day he caught me in a mixed-goods aisle and he wanted me to buy him a bottle of maple syrup, a potholder, dental floss and a home pregnancy test. He always blesses you, even when you make him take his stuff out of your cart.

Today was the first time I met the new loon. He's a tall thin guy, and at first I mistook him for a regular customer. He came in as I was headed towards the checkout lanes, and got in line behind me holding a bottle of wine. The lines were all hosed up because someone called in sick and someone couldn't stay late to cover and all that happy nonsense that you get when you try to manage a workforce comprised of motivated (hah!) high school dropouts confronted with that inexplicable rush at shift change. Next thing you know, wine-loon is in the managers face about opening up more registers because (as he grandly swept his arm around to include us all), there were important people waiting, and he should treat his customers better. I had to laugh.

The manager grabbed the wine from the loon and shoo'd him out. He came right back in, still incensed about the lines, and this time followed by lady-nut, who was scolding him for bothering people. They were escorted back outside (gently and nicely, kudos to the manager). When I left, lady-nut was on the pay phone (she spends hours talking to herself) and the loon was taking all the carts from the front of the store and neatly putting them in the cart-corral at the farthest end of the parking lot.

Hilarious.

Posted by: Ted at 05:12 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Audiophile

I was cutting fin slots in the new rocket's airframe last night, using a Dremel with a brand new fiberglass reinforced cutting wheel, and as the disk whined it's way through the tubing it occurred to me that the noise was probably exactly like what running a frozen cat through a band saw would sound like.

Posted by: Ted at 05:19 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

March 01, 2006

Much to say, little time

If you do a search (over on the right) within Rocket Jones for "BATFE" or "Ashcroft", you'll unearth some posts where I talk about the hobby rocketry organizations in the US suing the Federal Government over their classification of our rocket propellants as explosives.

We won.

The BATFE is expected to appeal, although they're kind of stuck at the moment because in order to adjust their definitions, they'd have to classify other useful things as explosives. Things such as gasoline.

Basically, we've whupped 'em in every battle, but the war ain't over. Soon, hopefully, but the fat lady is still warming up her pipes.

In other rocket-related news, construction has begun on my Level-2 certification rocket. As soon as I get the beastie assembled, I'll post pictures. It's a bigg'un.

More rocket stuffs. BattlePark 2006 will be held again in Culpeper, Virginia on April 22 and 23. This is one of the biggies for the eastern US, with folks from all over attending (including those who say "eh?"). I'm planning on being there for both days.

Let's see... rockets... oh, how's about some hockey? Yepper, my beloved Sharks scored five, count 'em, FIVE power play goals and beat the mighty Detroit Red Wings last night. San Jose needs to rack up some wins to get back into the playoff hunt after their horrible start. They also signed goalie Toskala (maybe you saw him at the Olympics?) to a two-year extension to back up Nabokov (I know you saw him at the Olympics). If the Sharks play well, they'll keep 'em both, but the rumor mill is in high gear because Vesa Toskala is hot property right now (8-0-2 in his last 10 games) and that makes him worth some major trade value.

On the Cult Cinema front, I've been watching, I just haven't been writing! But I hope to remedy that in the near future. Zombies line dancing. That's just a hint.

Speaking of zombies, another couple of chapters of my serial story will be posted "real soon now". Honest. I haven't forgotten the title contest either, so you can sleep at night.

All that and more, coming soon to a Rocket Jones near you!

Posted by: Ted at 11:27 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

February 24, 2006

This Just In

There's been a cherry added atop the heap o' prizes for the winners of this year's Team America Rocketry Challenge (I'm quoting the entire press release below):

Raytheon to send TARC Winners to Farnborough International Air Show

Arlington, Va. – A trip to the Farnborough International Air Show near London in July 2006 awaits the Fourth Annual Team America Rocketry Challenge (TARC) winners courtesy of AIA member Raytheon Company.

The trip, which will be in addition to the winner’s share of the TARC purse of more than $60,000 in savings bonds and cash, will give the victorious students a hands-on look at applied aerospace engineering, the skill the contest is promoting, AIA President and CEO John Douglass said.

“TARC is a great way to introduce these kids to aerospace through the challenges of engineering a model rocket,” Douglass said. “Taking the winners to Farnborough will show them what these lessons lead to in the real world.”

TARC, the world’s largest rocket contest, pits teams of between three and 15 middle and high school students in a challenge to build and successfully launch a model without breaking a raw-egg payload. The final round of competition is scheduled for May 20 at Great Meadow in The Plains,Va. The goal is to launch the rockets as close as possible to 800 feet in altitude and 45 seconds in flight duration.

“Rewarding the TARC winners with a trip to Farnborough is right in line with Raytheon’s emphasis on promoting math and science education among young people through our MathMovesU initiative,” said Raytheon Executive Vice President for Business Development Thomas M. Culligan. “We hope that this will help motivate the winners and all the competitors to stick with science and math and ultimately pursue a career in aerospace.”

The Farnborough International Air Show is one of the largest and most prestigious aerospace events in the world. It includes flying demonstrations of both civil and military aircraft from around the world as well as static displays from thousands of aerospace companies. Raytheon’s sponsorship will pay for four students and one adult chaperone, including air fare, lodging, a company tour, and a TARC champion recognition dinner.

The winning team will attend the air show on Farnborough’s International Youth Day, a program for 1,000 invited students between ages 15 and 23 aimed at attracting youths who show promise in areas that could lead to aerospace careers. Activities include presentations from test pilots, scientists, and journalists; a build-a-plane project; and test spins in aircraft simulators. In addition to commercial jetliners, business aircraft, and fighter jets, the air show includes special displays on space products and unmanned aerial vehicles.

TARC is sponsored by the Aerospace Industries Association and the National Association of Rocketry, the nation's oldest and largest non-profit organization dedicated to sport rocketry. The contest is co-sponsored in part by 39 AIA member companies, NASA, the Defense Department, and the Civil Air Patrol.

I'll be volunteering to assist again this year, as I have every year since this started. Read about previous events here and here and here.

Posted by: Ted at 04:19 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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