July 04, 2006
Another good reason not to blow your fingers off
Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about poker chip tricks! Sorted by difficulty, with complete descriptions and video showing you how to do each trick.
Posted by: Ted at 03:16 PM | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Wish I were wrong
But I don't think I am (naughtyness in the extended entry).
Posted by: Ted at 10:44 AM | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
July 03, 2006
Remember that big-ass tree?
I'm talking about that maple in my backyard. I've had a love/hate relationship with that tree for years. It tried to neuter me, I scalped it halfway up. It's a beautiful tree that totally screws up my yard by where it's at and its massive and shallow root system. Filthy thing too, raining shit down - leaves and/or monkey balls (spiny seed pods) - all year round. Because of this tree, I can't grow much beyond mossy dirt and hostas.
Last night, we had a pop-up thunderstorm sit right over us for a good hour. The sky looked like God's own disco with the strobe effect, and plenty of visible lightning from my front door. Once the torrential rains started in, I watched a couple of huge trees across the street to see if they were going to come down. The wind was impressive. They survived, but my backyard maple got topped. We discovered it this morning. About 30' of the very top came pretty much straight down into our backyard. The very tips landed across the fence, but not enough to do any damage (thank heavens). I've already been out toe survey the damage. It's cut up into manageable pieces and dragged out into the back meadow, ready to end up down by the creek. I like this. Now, if the next storm can take another 30' off, I can call the tree removal company and all they'll need to do is the bare trunk and stump. Yay!Posted by: Ted at 08:25 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Steven Wright once said
"When I die, I'm donating my body to science fiction."
A while back I saw a television program about something that makes such perfect sense, but is so utterly revolting, that you want to retch and say 'doh!' at the same time. There's a forensics research lab in Tennesee where they study human remains. I'm not talking about sterile anatomy and such, although some of that is done. This facility takes donated bodies and examines them as they decompose within the framework of an outdoor crime scene. In other words, they bury them in shallow graves, or cover them with leaves, or toss them into small streams, or wrap them loosely in a tarp. And leave them there. Then they watch and take notes. And by doing this under controlled conditions, law enforcement can better determine the facts when partially or wholly decomposed bodies are discovered. Fascinating stuff, but not for the squeamish. The website is user-friendly, meaning it doesn't look like a documentary of "The Making of 'Jason the SlasherCamp Chainsaw Cannibal'". It's all rather polite actually. Positively mature.Posted by: Ted at 08:12 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
July 02, 2006
Cleaning Day
I started going through a bunch of old papers this weekend, throwing most of them out (I'm a major packrat), when I came across my printed archives from the old blogspot version of Rocket Jones. A lot of the original stuff didn't get imported from there because, frankly, it sucked (worse than now). But there were some good posts too, so I'm going to occasionally repost some of them again here.
I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, no announcement about repost or anything, so just enjoy the deja vu if you'd seen it before way back when.Posted by: Ted at 09:18 PM | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Makes one long for the days of William Hung
From Grant, who is now on my short list of people to punch for inflicting personal mental pain and anguish, or will be, when I stop laughing.Posted by: Ted at 06:33 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Funny but too true
Seen over at Babble-on, a most excellent place to while away some time.
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't do dick.At least 50 lesbians would be interesting to watch.
Posted by: Ted at 10:07 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
If I had a billboard
I would hope I had half the balls this guy has (this one is pretty mild).
The URL is given right there. Check out the archive of signs that this guy puts up in front of his business.
Posted by: Ted at 10:01 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
July 01, 2006
They would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those pesky kids
A month or so ago I crunched the screen on my trusty iPAQ. Having become rather dependent on the beastie, I let the family talk me into buying myself a new one (they ain't cheap).
I selected a very nice model with a hardcover to prevent a replay of the screen crunch and then managed to salvage 95% of the software and data on my old PDA. But something odd was happening. The new device would completely run out of battery power overnight while just sitting on the desk. In two hours, untouched in my briefcase, it would drain up to 60% of the battery power. Problem was, it wasn't consistent, and the randomness was making me a little crazy. I could've taken it back for exchange, and at one point talked to them about just getting a new battery. But it just didn't *feel* like a battery problem. I was also hesitant to hand it over again because I'd spent quite a bit of time reloading software and setting options to make it work exactly the way I wanted it to. Gradually I started to recognize a pattern and confirmed it a week ago. For some reason, ActiveSync would fire up on its own as if it were on a timer to check email and do other tasks, and it would sit there and run like hell, accomplishing nothing while sucking the life out of the battery. I could go in and end the task, but a short while later it would be sitting there running again. Today I found the answer. On a bulletin board was a note about a bug in Windows Mobile5 that causes the exact problems I was seeing. There was a workaround included (no patch available yet), and after implementing it (it's not terribly kludgy) I've been monitoring the battery status to see if the problem is solved. So far, so good. Now, this isn't entirely Microsoft's fault. I gather from my reading that HP (and Dell too) both implemented Windows Mobile5 in kind of an odd way which caused this to be a problem. There are all kinds of detailed explanations out there to be found with a couple of google searches, but my mainframe mind couldn't grasp all the concepts and terminology. We're talking real geek-speak. Anyway, tentative thanks to those folks who actually know how this crap works at the nuts-and-bolts level. Keep your fingers crossed.Posted by: Ted at 06:17 AM | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
June 30, 2006
Still True
The Atlanta Rhythm Section said it best:
The rats keep winning the rat race.
Not Gonna Let It Bother Me (Tonight)
Posted by: Ted at 09:52 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
June 29, 2006
Don't need to be no zen master for this one
If Gore invented the Internet, why do so many Internet addresses start off with Dubya, Dubya, Dubya?
That's easy, it's because karma is a bitch.
Posted by: Ted at 07:33 PM | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
June 27, 2006
For the record
Fred the rabbit loves spinach and kale.
He's only 'eh' about parsley. He doesn't like mustard greens.Posted by: Ted at 07:46 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Cultural Moment
Not really, just something I saw on a bulletin board:
"'alice' was a very important show to the hip-hop community, that show had mad flo"
I'm sure that somewhere there's a college offering a degree in that.
Posted by: Ted at 05:07 AM | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
June 26, 2006
Oh man, this is too funny (more Chris Pronger crap)
Rocket Jones is now #1 on Google if you search "Chris Pronger Hate". Go me!
One of the other links on that page led to an article in the Edmonton Journal that gives 28 reasons to hate San Jose. I was raised in San Jose, so as a native I'll have to say that a lot of it is wrong, although some of it sounds like the crap that convinced me to move away and never go back. Here's the best of 'em. The ones where he doesn't sound like a whiney little bitch.1. That song. You know, the one with San Jose in the title and chorus? You know, the Dionne-frickin'-Warwick song from 1968? I hate that song. 2. But no matter how much we hate that song, it pales to how deeply they despise it in San Jose. They're ashamed. Just mentioning it makes them cringe and squirm. Oiler fans should belt it out in Game 3. 3. All together now: "Yesss WEEEE Know the WAAAY to Saaaan Jose." That will mess up those Josers.
This is priceless. "Josers"!!!! I love it. I hate to break it to him though, but people from San Jose don't hate that song. In fact, we seldom even think about it. Now, Edmonton had a song written about it too, called "I shot a bear rootin' through my trash cans (or maybe it was Chris Pronger)". Regional hit.
4. San Jose wants you to spell its name with one of those accent things over the letter E. Talk about pree-tentious.
If so, I agree. I'll also state that no native son would do that, so it's probably those immigrants. You know, those rich millionaire dot-commers. Pretentious pricks, all of 'em, so it wouldn't surprise me.
5. Sharks fans like to photoshop pictures of Chris Pronger and post them on the team's website. One such photo makes it appear as if Pronger wears panties. Another puts the rugged Oiler defenceman in a pink leotard and blond wig. This is outrageous. This is hockey blasphemy. 6. Sharks fans also like to call him Chrissy Pronger. No, this is war.
ROFLMAO See my post below. I wonder how much Edmonton loves Chrissy now?
9. The first commercial broccoli farm was in San Jose. You hate broccoli, right? Blame San Jose. Get angry.
I thought that was Bush (Sr's) fault?
11. Hockey fans in San Jose think it's the height of wit to post pictures of great white sharks in the process of eating some Oilers player or another.
Oh please, it's the silicon valley. They post CGI clips of great white sharks eating Oilers players.
20. San Jose averages 300 sunny days a year and has a Mediterranean climate. Wimps.
ROFLMAO The rest of 'em get rather personal and he takes some cheap shots at America and Americans in general. Whiney little bitch with an inferiority complex.
Posted by: Ted at 06:11 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Did I mention that I hate Chris Pronger?
Word is that he quietly sold his house in Edmonton before the playoffs, and then after they lost in the finals he took a vacation in Mexico. While there, he had his agent demand a trade.
What a man. More here (much more). Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.Posted by: Ted at 06:24 AM | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
What a mess
Almost 6" of rain over the weekend. Trees are down. Basements flooded. Roads flooded. Train tracks flooded.
Scattered rain predicted for the rest of the week. Yay.Posted by: Ted at 06:15 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
June 25, 2006
Six Two Haunted Tales
The other night I scored a movie collection titled Hostile Hauntings, and since it rained all weekend I was able to view most of them. According to the box, these were indie movies, which wasn't quite accurate. I'm going to concentrate on two of the films, the other four ranging from complete crap to only mildly interesting.
The collection starts off strongly with The Shunned House, a 2003 straight-to-video offering from Italy. Two word review: Kicks. Ass. The story takes it's name from a tale by H.P. Lovecraft, and the actual plot is an amalgam of three Lovecraft stories: the title piece, The Music of Erich Zann (although the Erich character is a woman in the movie) and Dreams in the Witch House. I've said it before: I adore Lovecraft. I have a fairly complete collection of his works. When I go on a Lovecraft binge, it perceptably darkens my mood. Powerful writing. The director here concentrated on mood and atmosphere. There is quite a bit of gore, but not enough to squick me out (well, except for one horrendously memorable scene that will forever be in my all-time top 10 greatest movie scenes). Instead of telling the three stories in serial one-after-another fashion, the stories intertwine and interelate and are sometimes opaque and confusing, much like Lovecraft's work itself. Yet also like Lovecraft, the imagery is original and chilling. These are not terribly faithful story adaptations, but they remain true to the spirit of the originals. An occult researcher and his girlfriend/photographer visit an old building where mysterious happenings have been going on for over one hundred years. The researcher has an extensive collection of old writings and documents related to the place, including photographs of some of the victims. The girlfriend thinks that they're there to investigate three mysterious deaths, and they are, but she freaks out when she finds out that there have been hundreds of odd suicides and murders done over time. This story is used as the framework to tie the other two plotlines together, even though the three original stories are completely unrelated to each other. From what I've read, this film was shot entirely on location inside the actual building, complete with attached chapel. I've seen nothing to indicate that the building is other than ordinary in real life. If you can handle the gore (and the heavy Italian accents), I can't recommend this one highly enough. Fair warning though, you're going to absolutely love it or absolutely hate it. The second film that I'm going to talk about is an indie titled The Somnambulists (sorry, no link available). According to the box, it's 75 minutes long, and I was rather ticked off to find that the total time includes a "making of" special and *two* "premier night" features. The film itself is rather short, yet very intense. Dialogue is sparse, and the acting is above average (with a couple of glaring exceptions). It all comes together nicely in the end, including a semi-surprise ending. Granddad winds up with the best lines, including one chilling little exchange where he explains that "there is no heaven, there is no hell. The dead go into our dreams, and it's the ones with a grudge that you have to watch out for." I can't say more without giving the ending away. Worth a view.Posted by: Ted at 04:59 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
June 24, 2006
Tripping the Rift: Pilot
Tripping the Rift is a riot, but you may not have seen the *original* pilot episode. Six looks a lot different, gets naked, and almost has wild sex with an evil space clown.
If you've got a high-speed connection and a twisted sense of humor, then check it out! (the 26mb version is much better quality)Posted by: Ted at 06:47 PM | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
June 23, 2006
Completely out of character
In addition to the crazybusy schedule at work lately, I've been immersed in a couple of rather involved home projects, and some rather unusual (for me) time-eaters.
I'm not much on computer games. I'd rather program 'em than play on 'em, it's just always been my style. But a couple of years ago, I overheard my daughter Mookie talking about playing Starcraft online, and when I found out we could play each other over our home network, I had to give it a try. I liked it, and played pretty steadily for several months, both with and without Rachael. Eventually the phase passed and I hadn't played for better than a year. Until a couple of weeks ago, that is. I got a bee in my bonnet and reloaded it onto my machine and I've been going through the opening scenarios to relearn the game. Tonight at a store, I saw the StarCraft Anniversary Set, containing the original game, the BroodWar expansion and some other goodies. For $20, I picked it up. Fun-ness. I'd been playing on a copied CD-ROM, which may have been my backup from the long-lost original. Or it may have been a bootleg, I dunno. Anyways, I now have strictly legal versions and am basking in my law-abidingilityness. That and blasting those Zerg into bloody puddles. The other time eater is Myst. Rachael and I had it on our PC way back when and enjoyed several hours tootling around and figuring things out. We never got very far, but we never cared all that much. The version I have now is for my iPaq PDA. I bought it to treat myself, and I'm enjoying it very much. I wonder how long it would take a pack of zerglings to level Myst Island?Posted by: Ted at 09:10 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
brief update
I've got a couple of posts ready to go, but they contain images and for some reason Movable Type is being stubborn about actually displaying them.
Minx... Minx... Minx... Minx...Posted by: Ted at 05:36 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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