Rocket Jones

April 27, 2007

Facades

I am a San Fransisco Giants baseball fan. I could also have said, "I loath the Los Angeles Dodgers", which means the same thing. It's more than a rivalry, it's a universal constant, a diametric opposite, much like (to borrow a pop culture reference) Buffy against the evil soul-stealing vampires (which is more apt than the average baseball fan realizes).

"Oh sure", I can hear some of you saying, "Ted, you're really blowing this out of proportion." You really think so? Thanks to Grant, over at the McCovey Chronicles, we have solid proof (for you non-Giants fans). Take a gander at this:

dantes_stadium2.jpg

It's no accident that the Dodgers are *the* team for Hollywood.

Posted by: Ted at 08:33 AM | Comments (95) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 26, 2007

Return of the Classic Rocket Jones Banners

I rediscovered Madfish Willie's excellent banner rotation script yesterday, and remembered that I had modified it to display banners of differing sizes (like, oh, here!), but never implemented it on Rocket Jones.

Until now. I've installed the script, and have begun the process to add all the banners to the mix. So far, it's just eight of the early ones, and I'll add more as time allows this weekend. All told, there have been 45 banners flying over this site!

Hit refresh and you'll probably see a new banner. If not, try it again because you probably reloaded the same one again (random will do that sometimes).

Enjoy!

Posted by: Ted at 10:14 PM | Comments (264) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Bovine BDSM

I'm sure there's an innocent explanation...

Cows-in-truck.jpg

...but where's the fun in that?

"Ooooh yeah, Bossy... harder, harder... Tenderize that flank-steak!"

Posted by: Ted at 11:48 AM | Comments (75) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

That Wascawwy Newton

The Cartoon Laws of Physics.

Cartoon Law 1: Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.

Thanks to a commenter at QandO for pointing this one out.

Posted by: Ted at 05:18 AM | Comments (38) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 25, 2007

Coincidence?

Dow Jones breaks 13,000.

Rosie leaving The View.

Surrrrre it is. Ain't conspiracy theories fun?

Posted by: Ted at 12:14 PM | Comments (27) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Initial Review Is In

Movie: The Tripper.
Premise: Ronald Reagan stalks and murders hippies.
Review: courtesy of Joe Horror.

Posted by: Ted at 05:42 AM | Comments (22) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 24, 2007

Redundant! Self-Referential! Self-Deprecating! Redundant Too!

Snippet:

I'm not the King of Stupid, but I am on the ten-dollar bill.

Posted by: Ted at 05:24 AM | Comments (469) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

About Time

I stole the title from I Travel By Bubble, where I found the link too.

The Wiccan pentacle has been added to the list of emblems allowed in national cemeteries and on goverment-issued headstones of fallen soldiers, according to a settlement announced Monday.

According to the story, there are 38 different "symbols of belief" allowed on the headstones, including a few I'd never heard of. Also notice that the pentacle is an upright star in a circle, not the cheesy upside-down version used by Satan Worshippers in horror movies.

Posted by: Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 23, 2007

Pet Food Poisoning

May have been intentional.

Food and Drug Administration investigators say the Chinese companies may have spiked products with the chemical melamine so that they would appear, in tests, to have more value as protein products.

Officials now suspect this possibility because a second ingredient from China, rice protein concentrate, has tested positive for melamine. So has corn gluten shipped to South Africa.

Thanks to The Ministry of Minor Perfidy for the pointer (in the comments).

Posted by: Ted at 05:18 PM | Comments (39) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Getting in Touch with My Inner Yuppie

The newest fad at the supermarket is "All Angus Beef". That's right, if you eat those inferior breeds of cow, you aren't getting "All Angus Beef", and that is supposed to make you feel uncomfortable in some vague way.

But what about those other poor inferior breeds of cow? Who's looking out for their feelings? What about their self-esteem? My God, you insensitive bastards, you could be permanently damaging their self-image! It's not their fault that they're born other than "All Angus Beef"! Who are you to judge that cow? Thanks to you, who knows what horror that poor bullied and picked upon cow could inflict upon an unsuspecting herd when he goes *Mad Cow*?!?!?!?!?!

See how fucking stupid that sounds?

Posted by: Ted at 04:02 PM | Comments (81) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Quote of the Day

Over at QandO, in reference to France:

...a country that fought Disney and McDonalds harder than it fought the Nazis still has a reason to blush a bit.

Zing!

Posted by: Ted at 03:54 PM | Comments (23) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Great Weekend, How About Yours?

Weather-wise, it was nice enough to (almost) make up for the lousy weekends we've had lately. Bright blue skies, gentle breezes, temps in the 70's... absolutely beautiful.

Saturday morning was spent sleeping in, which is something I almost never do. Once I dragged myself out of bed, we went to work in the front yard. Staking new trellises, planting things, fertilizing and readying the beds for the arrival of the new flowers. It was very pleasant and great therapy to help me relax after the stress of the work week (and it was a total bitch of a week at work).

On Saturday evening Liz and I went to see the Potomac Nationals take on the Frederick Keys. It was a pretty good game, and the handicap seating at the stadium is almost at field level, right behind third base. Not too shabby. I also realized that I wasn't shocked at the concession prices, mainly because for stadium prices, they weren't outrageous. My biggest problem at sporting events is that I forget that as soon as you buy that ticket, all prices are calculated in Italian lira but paid in American dollars.

The after-game fireworks show was glorious, and even better than last year. There were a lot of folks down from Maryland for the game - the Keys are a Baltimore Orioles farm club - and they were amazed at the show, and even more amazed that the fireworks are done every Saturday during the season.

On Sunday I took Liz up to Baltimore. Her and her sister are flying down to Florida (in the air as I type) for their parent's 50th anniversary. Brother-in-law just put his boat in the water on Saturday, so we spent a lazy afternoon cruising the Cheasapeake bay on their 32-footer. Three years after Hurricane Isabel put a hurt on the area, there are still many homes being repaired. A lot of hideous "McMansions" are going up too, as folks with money buy property from old-timers who couldn't afford to rebuild after the storm wiped out their retirement dreams. Danny has been boating in the area his whole life, and I loved his little bits of history and background story he dropped into the conversation. "Back in the 50's, that island had a small amusement park on it. Those pilings are all that's left of the railroad bridge that used to connect to the mainland." "Those houses are all less than five years old, and that bar has been there for at least thirty years. Live bands every weekend since forever. And now the new homeowners are raising hell about the noise."

Got home last night refreshed and recharged, but still not ready to go back to work. It's even harder when you know that it's just as nice out today as it was all weekend.

Posted by: Ted at 10:56 AM | Comments (69) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 21, 2007

After Annexing Canada, We Can Deal With Those Uppity Vulcans

What did Canada ever do to us? Two words: Northwest Passage. Two more words: Global Warming. Oh yes, there are patterns within patterns within patterns.

Speaking of which, courtesy of Zoey Brain, this uber-cool interactive star map. Go check it out. Really, this is amazing.

Posted by: Ted at 06:47 AM | Comments (24) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Spring, That Season When Plans Go Right Out The Window

After spending most of a year swearing that I was going to plant boxwoods in the front of the house, eliminating the need for anything but an annual trimming and mulching, I ordered flowers for the front yard last week.

Not a shrub in the lot. What can I say? I'm a flower guy.

Two new clematis to share a new trellis, one pink and one white, hopefully their bloom season will be different enough to extend the color. I love clematis, and already have one growing in another bed.

In the bed along the front walk will be blue asters, white dragonflowers (variety of snapdragon and a Virginia native, according to the catalog), and pink "pincushion" flowers (a much nicer name than the scientific scabiosa.

The front bed is getting a hedge of lavender. Should smell wonderful, attract butterflies and maybe hummingbirds, and tons of bees too, to keep the (bleepin') neighborhood kids away so they'll quit teasing the dogs.

Not a simplification in the garden plan... not by a long shot. But, they're all perennials. I'll take my small victories when I find them. And the flowers this year should be gorgeous.

Posted by: Ted at 06:29 AM | Comments (28) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 20, 2007

Odd... I don't feel like picketing KFC

As I was finishing lunch at my desk, it dawned on me that I haven't had any meat since Wednesday.

Posted by: Ted at 11:14 AM | Comments (46) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 18, 2007

Compare. Contrast. Discuss.

When granny drives, all you can see through the back window is her hair and hands on the wheel as she peers over the dash.

When homey drives, all you can see through the back window is his do-rag and one hand on the wheel as he peers over the dash.

Either granny is hot shizzle, or homeboy looks like a silly fool. I know which way I'm leaning.

Posted by: Ted at 08:10 PM | Comments (68) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 17, 2007

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Hey there, friends and family! It's time for our 42nd Annual* Blogger Meet at the ballpark!!!

Invitations are going out to DC metro area friends and bloggers for the first blogmeet game of the year which will be Saturday, May 5th at 7:05pm as the Potomac Nationals take on the Wilmington Blue Rocks. After the game they have a pretty good fireworks show and you might even see Buckethead's son whack me in the jewels with a bat. Again.

No invitation? No problem! Just email me and I'll add you to the list. We've always managed to get a block of seats together ($9.00 a ticket), but that's not garaunteed (never can spell that word).

The P-Nats (I cringe every time I hear the team nickname) play in Woodbridge, Virginia, in Prince William County (directions here).

Liz and I will be going to the game this Saturday, May April 21st, if anyone is interested in meeting up. We're going to check out the wheelchair access seating and see what it's like.

Also, if anyone would like to set up something similar with another local minor league team, let's do it!

*42nd Annual? Yep. If 42 is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, then baseball is the answer to why we bother.

Posted by: Ted at 07:16 PM | Comments (44) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 15, 2007

Too Much Respect To Go for the Easy "Ho" Joke

Don Ho passed away at the age of 76.

Most famous for his song "Tiny Bubbles", the man was a high school football star good enough to get a sports scholarship on the mainland. During the Korean war he piloted cargo planes between Hawaii and Tokyo.

When he returned home and took over his parents' struggling neighborhood bar, Honey's, he put together a band and started performing at his father's request.

"I had no intention of being an entertainer," Ho said. "I just played songs I liked from the radio, and pretty soon that place was jammed. Every weekend there would be lines down the street."

Honey's became a happening place on Oahu, with other Hawaiian musicians stopping in for jam sessions. Ho began to play at various spots in Hawaii, then had a breakout year in 1966, when appearances at the Coconut Grove in Hollywood helped him build a mainland following, and the release of "Tiny Bubbles" gave him his greatest recording success.

Soon he was packing places such as the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas. Stars such as Lucille Ball, Sammy Davis Jr. and Frank Sinatra were known to be in the audience for Ho's shows.

Ho also became a television star, and hosted the "The Don Ho Show" on ABC from 1976-77. One of Ho's most memorable TV appearances was a 1972 cameo on an episode of "The Brady Bunch."

"I've had too much fun all these years," he said in the 2004 interview. "I feel real guilty about it."

He did his final show last Thursday night.

Posted by: Ted at 06:43 AM | Comments (30) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 14, 2007

Opera

Greek theatre was originally sung, not the mindless droning usually associated with it nowadays. So the chorus wasn't just a lump on the stage not doing anything besides repeating what was said previously, but they sang and danced to the delight of the crowd; and everything was highly refined.

Unfortunately though we do have music from the Greeks that are connected to some of the plays that remain, no one knows how to read them.

Opera was created as people tried to approximate the original Greek theatre experience at a time when the Greeks were the idols and Aristotle was studied almost religiously.

Posted by: Mookie at 09:26 AM | Comments (48) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

April 12, 2007

Housekeeping

I updated some links in the sidebar for folks who've moved and pruned away a few dead branches.

I'm also (still) playing over at my Minx beta site.

Posted by: Ted at 05:20 AM | Comments (588) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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