Rocket Jones

July 04, 2007

In Which I Attempt A Burkian Circle of Connections

Yesterday I left work at noon because Liz had some lab appointments to take care of. After the first one, we headed to Wal-Mart for a few things and while we were there we decided to buy some flowers for the front yard.

Yeah, it's July and I still hadn't planted in the flower beds. I had ordered several types of perennials from Spring Hill Nursery in April, and we had some problems with the order. The Asters are *still* backordered, and after using the credit that they sent for new plants, I discovered two things. One, Spring Hill customer service isn't all that great, and two, *everything* is backordered until September. That's right, they won't ship the stuff they owe me until Fall.

Hence the flower purchases at Wal-Mart. We picked up some Vinca for the front bed, a few nice variagated impatiens to fill in on the side bed, and a beautiful pink phlox that will come back every year. There were a couple other nice plants in blues and purples, so at least there would be something growing in the dirt.

After dropping off the flowers at home, I took Liz to the hospital. She was scheduled for some tests and had to spend the night. We got her checked in and then I headed home again. Got a few things done around the house, and finally settled in and watched the Benny Goodman Story before falling asleep around 1am.

I got to sleep in until 5am (normal wake-up on work days is 4am), and then drove to the hospital to pick Liz up around 6 or 6:30. They let her sleep in a little extra because it was a holiday, which was nice, but I would've appreciated knowing that because I could've used some extra z's myself. Oh well. We got her checked out and hit IHOP for breakfast.

After eating, we stopped at Lowes for mulch and then headed home. It was such a nice morning that I weeded the flower beds, put the new plants in the ground, spread two hundred pounds of mulch and generally tidied up the front yard. When that was done Liz went inside for more sleep while I got to talking with the neighbors who were just emerging for the day. We're planning a family trip to Old Dominion Speedway one evening to watch the home-town boys race, kinda like minor league NASCAR.

By the time I got inside and cleaned up, it was one in the afternoon. I grabbed a two hour nap, then got up and put together Liz's new sewing table, which involved much furniture rearranging in order to get it where it needed to be.

It's been a long, active 24 hours with too little sleep. Right now, I'm tired. Which also describes my attitude towards Spring Hill Nursery, who started this whole burst of activity.

Somehow, when James Burke does this, it comes out so much better.

Posted by: Ted at 05:03 PM | Comments (61) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

We Can Laugh Now

Iowahawk has a first-hand account of the attempted terrorist bombings in London and Glasgow, straight from the horse's ass doctor's mouth. This, my friends, is a hilarious must read.

So okay, the big weekend arrives, and the guys come over to my place bright and early, everybody's jazzed about rolling up some kufr carnage. All the propane tanks and propellant and nail cannisters are ready to go. I look at Ali and say, "okay mate, back up your car to the garage and I'll start loading it up." He gets this dumbstruck look on his face and says, "my car? I thought Hassan was going to do the martyrdom." And then Hassan does a massive spit-take with his tea, and he's like, "whoa dude, I rigged the cell phones, I didn't agree to blow up. I thought Mohammed was going to do the blowing up." Then Mohammed's like, "don't look at me, pal, I thought I was just providing the spiritual guidance. Plus my car's in the shop for transmission work." From there it just descended into this big shouting match. Holy frickin' prophet, two years of planning this prank and now everybody wants to pussy out on the actual martyrdom.

Long story short, we decided to draw straws. And guess who wins? Yep, yours truly, good old sucker Khalid, the same guy with a pile of charge card receipts for petrol and propane and hardware. The same guy who ended up having to host two thirds of the martyrdom planning parties at HIS house, because his good old college "pals" always have some convenient excuse about "kitchen remodeling" or "MI6 surveillance," and never lift a finger to help clean up the empty bottles or paper plates or the C5 mess. Well, you know what they say: no good deed goes unpunished. Then the other short straw get pulled by Bilal, and I'm like, oh, great. Now I'll be banging some celestial virgin with that wanker looking over my shoulder.

So, I'm like, "okay, whose donating the cars?" And these dicks just look around at each other, and ANOTHER big argument breaks out, because "I still have 28 payments left," or "it's due for a tyre rotation," or some other lame excuse. So we draw straws again to pick the explosion cars, and guess who wins? Yup, my Benz, the same fucking car I just paid 129.95 to have detailed. So I go to the house and tell my wife Jumanah about the whole deal, and here it comes -- The Look. complete with the whole exasperated eye roll and head shake. I swear, if her dad wasn't my uncle, I'd be tempted to smack that irritating sneer right off her face. So she's like, "fine, go have your fun with your lazy jihad buddies and your 72 virgins. Just leave me the keys to the Jeep so I can get groceries."

There's so much more to the story. Really, go read.

Posted by: Ted at 04:29 PM | Comments (21) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 03, 2007

New Movie Reviews Posted at Joe Horror

Lots of good stuff this week, including my review of Jess Franco's Nightmares Come At Night.

Posted by: Ted at 06:04 AM | Comments (115) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Beverly Sills Passes Away

Brooklyn born opera singer Beverly Sills succumbed last night at age 78 to lung cancer. She was never a smoker.

Known for her bright red hair and shining personality, "Bubbles" worked hard to foster an appreciation for opera to Americans, making numerous appearances on The Muppet Show and The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.

Thank you for sharing your gift with us. You will be missed.

Posted by: Ted at 05:51 AM | Comments (62) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

I Am So Annoyed That I Didn't Think of This First

ROFLMAO!!!!!

Thanks to Silent Running for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:40 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 02, 2007

Colorful Inspirations

Here at Rocket Jones, I've had exactly two style designs over the last four years. The "retro" one that you see now, and the original, rather subdued version that lasted for most of three years. Lately I've been giving some thought to another redesign, and looking at different ideas and concepts because I don't want to change things just for the sake of change. The idea is to stretch my HTML/CSS skills, and if it involves some Javascript or other goodies, so much the better.

The point to all this is a link I found:

Color Inspiration from the Masters of Painting

This blog entry examines the color palettes used in several famous paintings. The comments to the post are great too, as designers chip in with the palettes from their favorite paintings.

If you're looking for color ideas (blog or otherwise), this is great inspiration.

Posted by: Ted at 05:28 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

July 01, 2007

A Review to Come, Eventually

I mean, when you see quotes like this, how could I not?

One of the most profoundly artistic and important cinematic landmarks to ever grace celluloid

We're talking, of course, about Scream Queen Hot Tub Party!

Brinke Stevens (who I've talked about before here and here) is one of the five lovely ladies, and she is joined by Monique Gabrielle (Night Shift, Bachelor Party, Amazon Women on the Moon), Kelli Maroney (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Night of the Comet, Chopping Mall), Michelle Bauer (Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, and various bondage and hardcore flicks) and Roxanne Kernohan (Critters II, Not of This Earth, Tango & Cash). The plot is simple: the scream queens are invited to a horror movie seminar in a spooky old castle. They strip down and get into the hot tub and talk about movie scenes they've appeared in, complete with flashbacks. Simple, but boob-a-licious!

This masterpiece is available at Amazon, so just look over on the sidebar and click the little "wish list" button and buy it for me. I'll mention you in the review too, how cool is that?

Huh? No button on the sidebar? Dang, I'll add it to my to-do list... eventually.

Posted by: Ted at 10:26 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Intriguing Idea for Baseball's World Series

I can see the appeal of "World Series Weekend" to a lot of people, from players to owners to cities across the country.

Scott Boras loves the World Series so much, he wants to make it best-of-nine -- and open with two games at a neutral site.

Arguing that the shift would create a marketing bonanza that would rival the Super Bowl, Boras outlined his ideas in a two-page letter he sent to baseball commissioner Bud Selig on April 15.

For cities like Chicago and Washington D.C. that haven't seen a World Series at their parks in years, this could be huge.

I especially like these ideas:

He would open the weekend on a Friday night with a televised gala announcing the MVP, Cy Young, Rookie of the Year and Manager of the Year awards, and have the five top candidates for each in attendance.

Hall of Fame voting would be announced Saturday, with the opener that night and Game 2 on Sunday night. After that, the Series would pick up the 2-3-2 format that's been used since 1925...

Not that I think any of this will actually happen, but maybe the proposal will shake up some of the moribund thinking in baseball circles.

Posted by: Ted at 08:56 AM | Comments (23) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Level 2 Rocket

Friday and Saturday I spent some time doing finishing sanding. Today I shoot the first coat of primer.

Posted by: Ted at 08:18 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

June 30, 2007

Horror Movie Review: Night Watch

I started this latest series of reviews with four movies in mind. Here are links for the reviews of The Descent, Ginger Snaps, and Dog Soldiers. The fourth movie I had in mind is probably the least mainstream of the group, but I'm going to hold off on that one and offer up this bonus review of a flick I watched just this week.

Night Watch (Nochnoy Dozor) (2006)

Tvarich, you must see this movie.

Set in modern day Moscow, we are witnessing the prophesied culmination of a millenium-old power struggle between the forces of light and the forces of darkness.

Notice that I did not say "good" vs. "evil". This is the first film in a trilogy that has a scope reminiscent of The Lord of the Rings.

Ages ago two armies met in battle. The slaughter was terrible, and it became apparent to the two leaders that they were perfectly and evenly matched. The leaders halted the battle to prevent further useless killing and forged an uneasy truce between them.

Still living among humans today are Others, people with extraordinary powers and abilities. They never know what they are until they are called upon by circumstances to be more than human. Once they discover themselves, they must freely choose to join one side or the other. Either dark, or light.

Some of those who control the daytime are designated as Night Watch, to maintain the truce and prevent the forces of darkness from running out of control. If a vampire wishes to take a victim, the Night Watch must approve else the forces of darkness could raise an army of vampires in a short time. There are many other such checks in play that keep the two sides in delicate balance.

At some point, a supremely powerful Other will appear and will change sides, thus disrupting the balance and allowing one side to sweep the field and be finally victorious. The prophecy says that the forces of darkness will ultimately prevail.

Sounds sexy, eh? Guess what? That's all background!

The story revolves around Anton, one of the Night Watch. We see how he discovers that he's an Other, and how small events over a period of years build up to the fulfillment of the prophecy.

I'm not going to give up any more of the plot, but I will talk about the film. It's left up in the air about whether the forces of light are any less evil than the forces of night. Put another way, the film leads you to believe that neither side is necessarily better, rather, they are just different from each other. If the dark forces seem sinister, it's only because of our human perceptions. Old legends more often attribute darkness with bad.

There are a multitude of language options on the disk, including hearing it in the original Russian with English subtitles. The English dubbed version is done really well, so you don't have to feel obligated to read subtitles. I still recommend that you do though, and to be prepared to enjoy a few little surprises.

The visuals are stunning, as are most of the special effects. Some of the scenes are uncomfortably gory. I find it odd that the effect of seeing thousands of warriors being brutally cut to pieces in battle is somehow less disturbing than a scene where two individuals are using scissors as weapons. Human nature, I suppose, and that ability for large-scale rationalization may lie at the bottom of some of mankind's less shining moments.

Even for a horror movie, some of the character's actions seem unreal. More than once I was reminded that these people aren't American or Westernized. What feels natural to a Russian in a given situation may strike you as odd, but the occasional cultural dischords don't detract from the story. If anything, they add to the underlying tension.

If you're confused, the ending nicely recaps all that had gone before, as seen through the filter of understanding how each step ultimately led to the finale. Brilliantly too.

So, to sum up: Night Watch is the first movie in an epic trilogy that takes place in a darker, more sinister universe. If that concept appeals to you, then I highly recommend this movie.

Posted by: Ted at 10:10 PM | Comments (2237) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

You Know You're In Trouble When the Associated Press Starts Slapping You Down

Michael Moore's new movie, Sicko, is starting to generate buzz as folks see it. Unfortunately, I don't think that this AP news story is quite what he was hoping for:

But one aspect missing from the film is the defense. Do not expect to hear anyone speak well of the care they received in the U.S. On the other hand, patients and doctors from Canada, Britain, France and Cuba marvel at their health care.

If the bias is that obvious, then even those who wish to believe are going to have trouble with it. I mean, who would've thought you'd see things like this:

Moore tells viewers there are about 50 million people in the U.S. without health insurance.

Just this past week, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated there are about 43.6 million uninsured people in the country. In March, the Census Bureau put the number at 44.8 million.

That's still a lot, but undercounting by millions?!?! Or how about:

Taking on the pharmaceutical industry, Moore says it spent millions of dollars lobbying Congress for a Medicare prescription drug benefit.

"Of course it was really a bill to hand over $800 billion of our tax dollars to the drug and health insurance industry," he said.

Moore is citing the projected cost for the Medicare drug benefit's first 10 years.

Last year, however, Medicare officials told The Associated Press that the projected cost of the benefit through 2015 stood at about $729 billion, a substantial drop compared with original estimates.

What's that first rule about digging a hole?

Moore also noted the some of the elderly in the drug program could end up paying more for their prescriptions than they did before. That is true. But the vast majority do save because of the tens of billions of dollars in annual government subsidies to help cover the cost of their medicine. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services says people save about $1,200 a year on average by participating in the program, called Medicare Part D.

We need a bigger shovel.

At one point, Moore notes where the U.S. ranks in terms of health care around the world.

"The United States slipped to No. 37 in health care around the world, just slightly ahead of Slovenia," he said.

That ranking is based on a 2000 report from the World Health Organization that some health analysts viewed as misleading.

Yeah, riiiiiiight. Thirty-seventh.

The rest of the article notes where Moore gets it right, but also points out where he tells half-truths, hides inconvenient facts, and misleads you about the numbers in order to make his opinion seem valid.

Michael Moore is a liar. Too bad too, because I understand that he's a talented filmmaker.

Posted by: Ted at 01:20 PM | Comments (85) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Slick

Seen on the 'net:

Courtesy is the KY of social intercourse

Especially important considering the number of dickheads out there.

Posted by: Ted at 07:56 AM | Comments (80) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

June 29, 2007

Inflatables in Space

Sounds dirty, eh?

Bigelow Aerospace has launched it's second test module into orbit atop a Russian Dnper rocket. Once in orbit, the module deployed and all indications are that it inflated normally. That makes Bigelow two for two.

Their plan is to have a commercial space station functioning in orbit by 2015, made from inflatable modules. If you click that link, you'll find all kinds of information on their prototypes and future plans, including a "fly your stuff" program where you can send stuff into orbit and see it float around on camera.

Posted by: Ted at 06:12 AM | Comments (25) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Adorable Bunny Blogging (Updated)

Our rabbit Ozzie loves attention. If you put your hand in his cage he will dive under it so you can scratch behind his ears. On the floor, he'll wriggle under your feet so you can rub his back.

Yesterday was pretty funny. He was out and about, running around the room, when he settled underneath a small oscillating fan that Liz has on the floor. Every time the fan moved back and forth, it scratched him on the head, just like he likes.

Update: Mrs. Jones has posted photographic evidence that I do, indeed, live in a universe of cute.

Posted by: Ted at 06:09 AM | Comments (40) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Tie Dyeing and Fabric Dyeing

While stationed in Germany with the Air Force, my best friend and I got t-shirts for volunteering to help with the Special Olympics. Soon after that, we tie-dyed the shirts. Soon after that, we wore those shirts to a unit picnic. Soon after that, we were ordered to report for urinalysis testing.

Whether you're a drug-addled hippie freak, or just don't get enough chances to pee in a cup, tie-dyed shirts rock. And now, thanks to this site, you can learn how to do fabric dyeing without the enormous amount of waste that most techniques seem to generate. Follow that link for color recipes, step-by-step methods and much, much more.

Posted by: Ted at 05:54 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Geeks Are Sexy, Unless They're Just Geeks

Horror stories from the world of computers: WorseThanFailure.com.

Besides the head-shakers and groaners, there are some funny stories (unless they happened to you).

"There's a way to schedule tasks?" Frank replied, surprised.

Of course there is a way. Dripping faucet drips into bucket on seesaw. When bucket is heavy enough, seesaw tips lifting lid off cheese plate. Mouse runs out of hole to eat cheese. String tied to mouse tail pulls crank that pushes pencil into CPU power switch. Computer boots and runs browser from Startup menu. When mouse is full, he runs back to his hole, where a piezoelectric switch starts an electric motor that turns a paddle wheel scooping water out of the bucket and onto the floor. Water runs into surge protector, shorting it out and shutting down the computer. Bucket returns its original position. Paddle wheel stops when mouse gets hungry (and loses weight). Water dries, leaving power available for the computer.

Really quite elegant.

Ask anyone in the profession and they'll tell you, Dilbert is a documentary.

Posted by: Ted at 05:40 AM | Comments (69) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

June 28, 2007

Test Your Energy IQ

Found at Captain's Quarters.

How well do you understand the energy situation as it stands today? Harris conducted a poll among Americans, and the results were pretty dismal. Take the poll below (in the extended entry) for yourself, and then check out the answers here.

Let me know how you did in the comments. I didn't do so hot.

Posted by: Ted at 05:44 AM | Comments (750) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

June 27, 2007

This one is going on the sidebar too

Thanks to QandO for this one!

Classic.

Posted by: Ted at 08:30 PM | Comments (326) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Every Time We Think We've Got It Figured Out...

You remember what you learned about RNA, right? They're basically molecular dump trucks, running back and forth and collecting the building blocks needed to create proteins in the human body.

That may be a more apt description than we thought, because suddenly scientists are discovering that the "dump trucks" may be just a small percentage of the entire RNA "fleet".

Time to rethink what we thought we knew about DNA and evolution.

What is being proposed is the inheritance of characteristics acquired during an individual's lifetime, rather than as the result of chance mutations. This was first suggested by Jean Baptiste Lamarck, before Charles Darwin's idea of natural selection swept the board. However, even Darwin did not reject the idea that Lamarckian inheritance had some part to play, and it did not disappear as a serious idea until 20th-century genetic experiments failed to find evidence for it.

They're seeing hints pointing to that evidence now. This isn't an alternative to evolution, it's the idea that our bodies tweak the DNA that we pass along according to experiences that occur during our lifetime.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (69) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

June 26, 2007

Darn It, Why Don't You People !

We're way overdue for a Rocket Jones bondage post.

Lovely ladies from the silver screen, mostly in shackles or cuffs.

I suppose I could add a "bondage" category. What say ye?

Posted by: Ted at 11:33 AM | Comments (132) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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