July 05, 2004
Going through old paperwork
I've been putzing around the house this weekend, taking care of little chores. I'm pretty disorganized, so one task has been to gather up all the little piles of paperwork I have stashed all over and get them into some semblance of order. While going through one stack, I came across this...
(letterhead)
Commonwealth of Virginia
Department of Motor Vehicles Administrative Letter No. 92-5 April 24, 1992 To: All Licensed Property and Casualty Insurance Agents
All Virginia Dealers of New and Used Cars
All Banks, Finance Companies, and Lending Institutions From: Donald E. Williams
Commisioner Subject: Automobile Headlight Dimmer Switches Pursuant to House Bill No. 755, all motor vehicles sold in the Commonwealth of Virginia after July 1, 1992, will be required to have headlight dimmer switches mounted on the floorboard. The dimmer switch must be mounted in a position accessible to operation by pressing the switch with the left foot. The dimmer switch must be far enough removed from the brake pedal or clutch pedal to avoid inadvertent operation or pedal confusion. Included in the above bill, and beginning July 1, 1992, all vehicles with steering column mounted dimmer switches must be retrofitted with a floorboard mounted dimmer switch. The steering column dimmer switch must be disabled or removed from the vehicle. Vehicles which have not made this change will not pass the requirements of the Commonwealth's Motor Vehicle Inspection Act and will, effective July 1, 1992, not be eligible for Automobile Insurance. It is recognized that this change will cause some hardship for the driving public. However, this change is being made in the interest of public safety. A recent joint study by the Department of Motor Vehicles and the University of Virginia found that 25 percent of all nighttime highway accidents are caused by blondes getting their foot caught in the dimmer switch mounted on the steering column.
I'm trying to decide which category to file this one under.
Posted by: Ted at 11:30 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Who Was Who
I've just finished an oldie-timey humor book called Who Was Who, 5000 B.C. to Date. Edited by Irwin Gordon around 1910, the humor is gentle and good for a smile, but what I found most interesting is the general attitudes and mores of the day that are included.
According to the Foreward:Who Was Who contains over 500 biographies of those who did or endeavored to become famous.
Mr. Gordon states his policy for accepting corrections - from friends and enemies alike - and notes that the text is protected by the libel laws of both Great Britain and the United States.
Under no circumstance will duels be fought.
Here are a few of my favorite entries:
BACON, Francis, either wrote or did not write Shakespeare.
GOOSE, Mother, a fine old lady who was loved by all, but who told some awful untruths to the innocent.
ROY, Robert, a very wicked Scotchman whom we all hope will always escape the police.
SANTOS-DUMONT, a pre-Zeppelin-Wright air investigator who had enough money and sense to quit before people remarked how natural he looked.Just for the heck of it, I went and googled "Who Was Who" and came up with several pages of nifty links to explore.
Posted by: Ted at 10:53 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Itsy Bitsy Spiders
My PC is down in my den/workshop/basement/laundry room, and I treat it like the comfortable 'guy space' it's supposed to be. It's seldom ready for company, and sometimes stuff lays around on the workbench for quite a while before I get around to putting it where it belongs.
I have an old stand lamp sitting next to my desk, forming a small pool of light in the usually dim room. There are four minute spiders doing acrobatic spider things on the lamp. These spiders are smaller than the roller ball in a ball point pen, which means that despite my severe arachnophobia, I don't fear them. Hell, they're fun to watch. They weave their almost invisible webs and dangle under the lamp, working like they don't need the money, until hurricane Ted raises the wind, and they scramble for their safe points. So I watch and enjoy and am amused. And I carefully count them, because if they increase to eight, then God (or a sufficiently accurate facsimile) is gonna wipe 'em out. Because I freakin' hate spiders.Posted by: Ted at 08:26 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
July 04, 2004
From one cowboy to all the others
Happy Independence Day!!!
(picture in the extended entry)Posted by: Ted at 12:13 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
July 03, 2004
Don't Fight The Feeling
TV Land is showing the Flip Wilson Show every weekday evening at 5pm. Awesome.
Posted by: Ted at 05:50 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Happy Birthday-ish to Rocket Jones
July 3rd. It was a year ago (give or take a few days) when Rocket Jones started on BlogSpot. Like many others, I owe huge thanks to Pixy Misa for offering me a new home on Munuviana. One of my personal goals was to post something every day, and believe it or not I managed that. It's kind of like Cal Ripken's consecutive game record: at some point I'll miss a day and now that I've reached the one year point, I'll be ok with the end of the streak.
The first blog I ever read was Rachel Lucas, and it was sheer accident that I stumbled across her site. Several guys where I used to work are avid shooters, so for fun I googled "Girls with Guns" or something similar. Rachel Lucas' place came up, and I discovered blogs. I read around for some time, sent a few emails, was actually answered by a few people (which surprised me - thank you Rachel and our very own Annika), and eventually decided that by sharing myself on a blog of my own, the world might not be a better place, but it'd survive. What the hell. So today, rather than toot my own horn, I'd like to mention a few memorable posts I've read since I started blogging. This is by no means a comprehensive list. Spork bringing back Rachel Lucas. At least the scary little girl floating head part of her. Stephen's iPod project, back when he was still on BlogSpot. His series inspired me to start building a rocket online. Meatriarch's multi-part dog breed posts. Three quick notes: 1 - did you decide to not move to the Munuviana site? If so, then I need to readjust my links back to the old place. 2. There's no search function on your old site, could you give the links in the comments here, because... 3. These "dog" posts are outstanding, and everyone that hasn't had the chance to read them should take the time. The story of Collins. The man, the nose, the saga. Gone, but not forgotten. My first Instalanche, during the original link war on Frank J, when I compared Frank to Aquaman - unfavorably (yeah, so I tooted my horn a little bit). Funniest line: From Anna at Primal Purge, about women having way too many children: "It's a vagina, lady, not a clown car". (Ok, another toot) Winning three photo caption contests on three different sites: Wizbang!, Captain's Quarters, and Blather Review. Take that all you authority figures who said being a smartass would never get me anywhere! The picture that Helen drew in my mind with this:...while he was busy on a tractor on one of them I walked along the cornrows in amiable company with my man, Mario. We noticed a patch of unplanted ground, a little cove that had thick grass under the shelter of some trees. Investigating closer, I found it was a small graveyard, a jumble of tombstones falling to the side, the names edging their way back out of the headstone, a family of tombstones grouped under the trees, forgotten. A whole family, buried and ignored for the rest of their internment.Paul, over at Sanity's Edge, who had me laughing to the point of tears with his post Tales From The Holidays. Just head over there and click on his "best of" link, you won't go wrong (there, I've linked it - happy now?). I know I'm forgetting a million others. I'm about 2/3 of the way through a bottle of Sangria, which makes my total alcohol consumption for the year about 3 beers and 2/3's of a bottle of Sangria. It also makes for a pleasant buzz, I'm a cheap date. There was that intervention set up by WindRider over at Bloviating Inanities. Virtual Anarchy, and lots of fun. Search the archives over there, look for Rocket Jones amongst others. And of course, meeting people in real life. Over the last year, I've enjoyed a wonderful visit with SilverBlue and his compadres PoloRandy and Tink (and Roxette Bunny). I've shared a fun meal or three with the lovely Dawn, which is pronounced completely differently than Don. So that's it, one year. Thanks to everyone who's ever stopped by to read, and who've left a comment (on slow days even the spammers are welcomed). Some bloggers just seem to attract scads of comments, and I never really got the knack for the cult thing I tried to set up (the sample fridge magnets were hideous). My online time has been sharply curtailed lately, so I'm not able to visit as many sites as I'd like each day. If you're on the blogroll, I stop by at least occasionally. Now I've got to watch one more old movie for a review I'll post today (tomorrow actually, because I'm writing this last night). And Rocket Jones will continue on as before, sputtering and sparking and occasionally soaring to great heights
Posted by: Ted at 12:28 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Happy blogiversary, Ted!July 02, 2004
What he said
Rock, Paper, Saddam. Thanks to Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the pointer.
Posted by: Ted at 09:29 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Would the last person alive please turn out the lights?
You've probably seen The Omega Man, the post-apocalypse film starring Charlton Heston. But did you know that the movie had been done before? Both movies were based on Richard Matheson's classic book "I Am Legend", and tell the story of what may be the last human alive and his battle to survive against zombies who roam the night looking for blood.
Wake up, make coffee, gas up the generator in the garage, clear the zombie corpses off of the porch, go grocery shopping, then spend the day killing zombies and burning their bodies. It's a big city, so the routine goes on each and every day. You're half-crazy from the solitude, so you practically welcome the company at night as the zombies try to break into your house. That's the plot of Last Man On Earth, an Italian chiller made in 1964. Starring Vincent Price, the black and white cinematography and eerie scenes of an empty city littered with corpses go a long way to set the dark tone. This movie is a downer right from the beginning, which feels right considering the concept. There's a lot more background story than in Omega Man, and more psychological depth to the characters. The Omega Man is one of those wonderfully cheesy SciFi thrillers that you either love or hate. Adapted from the same story as the first movie, both share the main plot line, but where Vincent Price is borderline crazy from his situation, Charlton Heston seems to thrive on it. Details differ, but the most obvious change is recognizing that by being the last man alive, you pretty much own everything. Heston stocks his penthouse apartment with fine art, liquor and food, and as long as he remembers to keep gas in the basement generator, then life is good (except for the being alone part). Sharing the title, but not the storyline, is the 1924 flick, The Last Man On Earth. This forgotten classic examines the situation from a more literal point of view. What happens if, after all the men die, you find a fertile male? The obvious (and cheesy) answer is "breed". Similar storylines can be found in such classics as Hell Comes To Frogtown, among others, but here... Ok, now I'm pissed off. The box gives the synopsis for that movie, but the actual flick included is the Vincent Price version - again. Son of a bitch. Hang on... all right, I've double checked everything, and they switched movies on the DVD. So now I can't recommend it based on personally seeing it myself, but I am going to be looking for a copy of the original. Ya know what? Go watch Hell Comes To Frogtown.Posted by: Ted at 09:00 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Sayonara
Posted by: Ted at 12:55 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Too good to miss
Bits of an exchange over on the Munuviana group blog, under the title Blacklist Backfire:
CD: Hey, I can't use the word "socialist" in my comments because it contains the word "Cialis." Pixy Misa: Just call them filthy godless Commies like everyone else.
Posted by: Ted at 06:33 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
What's that, Lassie? (updated)
No, Timmy didn't fall into the well again. Lassie just wanted to remind everyone that half the stuff in Adam & Eve's catalog can be found cheaper at PetSmart.
Don't believe me? Take the test: Dog Toy or Marital Aid? Kudos to Rich for pointing this one out. Update: Ok, home from work. I took the first two rounds and scored 9 out of 14 twice.Posted by: Ted at 06:20 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
July 01, 2004
"America doing it right"
That's a quote from the director of Space Science for the European Space Agency, regarding the successful arrival of the Cassini mission to Saturn.
Cassini is a group effort of 17 nations, funded by the Italian Space Agency, the ESA and NASA, and continues the string of successes NASA has enjoyed this year - two Mars rovers, the "comet catcher" that's returning to Earth, and now Cassini. The pictures are already spectacular. More please.Posted by: Ted at 12:20 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
What if they held an election and everybody came?
Mongolia recently held elections and the resident Communist Party suffered huge losses, to the point that they may be out of power. But the truly remarkable part is that their election had an 80% voter turnout!
Thanks to The Marmot for the story, and to Simon for pointing it out.Posted by: Ted at 07:18 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Upcoming Rocket Launch - Y'all are invited
Every year, the National Association of Rocketry has it's Annual Meet, known as NARAM. It's held in different areas of the country, and for an entire week there are serious rocket competitions and hobbyists like myself get to eat, breathe, sleep and live rockets.
This year, it's being hosted by the club I belong to, NOVAAR, and it all happens at Great Meadows, just west of Manassas, Virginia. There will be just-for-fun flying every day, from the smallest finger-sized rockets all the way up to high powered flights by the big boys, and special events like a radio-controlled rocket glider contest. Past highlights include a scale model of the full-stack space shuttle that actually works like the real one, dropping boosters and tanks on the way up before the shuttle glides back under RC control. The contests can get intense, and this year include egglofting, two types of gliders and helicopter recovery events. NARAM runs from Saturday, July 31st through Friday, August 6th. Just to stop by and watch is free, and there will be several vendors there just in case the bug bites you. I'm going to be helping to run the range this year, so no flying for me, but if you'd like to see what this is all about, drop me an email and we'll hook up. Hope to see you there.Posted by: Ted at 05:11 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Ooooo, pretty pictures
Since there's been such a hue and cry (translation: nobody asked) about the secret identities of our intrepid NogMeisters, I've decided to give some clues about who they are and what they look like.
Inspired by TopDawg, in the extended entry.Posted by: Ted at 04:45 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
June 30, 2004
Overheard at Customer Service
Mookie tried to buy an electric bike. Yesterday after work we re-packed it into the box, loaded it into the pickup and drove back to where she bought it. I was prepared for a fight, because there was a giant sticker on the box that said "Do Not Return To Retailer. Contact Manufacturer With Problems."
Bull. The damn thing was unusable right out of the box. So I walked up to the Customer Service desk and told the friendly and helpful employee that I needed someone with a flatbed cart to go out to my truck and unload it, after which I wanted a refund. Then I handed him the receipt and a baggie full of broken lock pieces. He started to make noises about the manufacturer, so I calmly and politely reminded him to call for someone with a cart to unload my truck, and asked to speak to a manager. I'm not going to waste my time dealing with him if he's not going to be immediately helpful. I pulled the truck up in front of the store and helped two stock guys unload it onto a cart. One looks at the box and says, "Oh, it's a scooter." I said, "No, it's a scooter-shaped piece of crap." The guys take it inside while I go park the truck again, and Mookie hears this exchange: Manager: "It's a scooter?" Stock Guy: "According to him, it's a scooter-shaped piece of crap." Five minutes later, we're walking out the door, all taken care of.Posted by: Ted at 06:41 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
June 29, 2004
You heard it here first
There's a new low-carb dog food.
A new medical study shows that excessive protein in the diet can cause fertility "problems". The reporters I watched verbally danced around, desperately trying to not say "Atkins" or "low-carb", and implied that the "problems" involved conception. The details of the report that I heard sounded more like birth defect type "problems". Balance people, the key is balance. "Morbidly Obese", isn't that a lovely medical term? I hearby street-slangify it to "Mo'Beast", as in, "That dude with the Mac in each hand? He is Mohhh' Beast!" Word.Posted by: Ted at 07:25 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
To Mookie
Sweetie, I hope you don't think I was mad at you last night. I am seriously pissed off, and this afternoon we're going to go take care of it, but I am NOT upset with you.
I really, really, really hate it when something disappoints you like that. We'll make it right and consider it a lesson learned. Ok? PS. Call me at work.Posted by: Ted at 06:44 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
June 28, 2004
Favorite Anagram
"To err is human, to forgive, divine." -- Alexander Pope
I've humor to give in trade for sin. -- anagram of above
Posted by: Ted at 09:20 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Genteel
I've been reading Percival Lowell's Mars, the seminal 1895 work. In it, the famed astronomer examines the planet with care and in detail, and despite classic use of logic and deduction, manages to get almost everything completely wrong. Such is science.
Anyways, in one passage Lowell states:"...with about as much probability... as that a chance collection of numbers should take the form of the multiplication table."
Which is the polite and scientific way of saying "when monkeys fly out of my
butt".
Posted by: Ted at 04:57 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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