The Door to Nowhere Cafe

the Uakari, a small monkey living in the
treetops of the Amazon river basin

An early Cafe, so that I can put up an election post at 7:30, when we'll start seeing numbers coming in.

Scary: Polar bear chases man and not for a hug.

Cat revs up for a dash.

Determined cat.

Broken cat wants to be a dentist.

Dude loses control of his speeding motorcycle and goes airborne. Not gory, but alarming.

Dogs who are desperate to sleep with you.

Pygmy possum is about the size of a thumb.

Cute little donk.

Sea otters going HAM on ICE!

From a commenter whose name I didn't write down:

Siblings.. 😅 https://t.co/izOwFpfYfY
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) October 31, 2026

I mean this has to be AI right?

New Olympic champion.. 😅 https://t.co/ItfHJUFPk8
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) November 1, 2026

Compare to Olga Korbutt's brilliant 10.0 Olympic performance.

Pwning puppers:

😂😂 https://t.co/sKzZmlnFeQ
— The Best (@TheBestqueenx) October 27, 2026

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 06:30 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 First!

Posted by: Jack Mehoff at November 03, 2026 06:32 PM (88C+u)

2 st!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 03, 2026 06:32 PM (h+uWx)

3 Ok...you get to.finish First. I guess.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 03, 2026 06:32 PM (h+uWx)

4 What in the Neverending Story is a Uakari?!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 03, 2026 06:33 PM (h+uWx)

5 That top pic.
Sen. Kelly's baby picture?

Posted by: Bosk at November 03, 2026 06:34 PM (VMFAF)

6 Hola

Posted by: Thanatopsis at November 03, 2026 06:34 PM (hG5L0)

7 you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? Well, there's no one else here..

Posted by: The Uakari at November 03, 2026 06:34 PM (7w/AX)

8 Sure. Paper ballots!

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at November 03, 2026 06:34 PM (hxMfc)

9 The Uakari looks like what those butthead guys on Star Trek evolved from.

Posted by: fd at November 03, 2026 06:35 PM (MWfyi)

10 Nurse has her sea otter content for the night.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 03, 2026 06:35 PM (h+uWx)

11 Carville in a hair suit?

Posted by: Ben Had at November 03, 2026 06:35 PM (8Uo7a)

12 He IS a dead ringer for Deniro.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 06:35 PM (7w/AX)

13 The Uakari looks like Tim Walz.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at November 03, 2026 06:36 PM (hzuYO)

14 "Carville in a hair suit?
Posted by: Ben Had"

Tomorrow after the Red Wave.

Posted by: fd at November 03, 2026 06:37 PM (MWfyi)

15 Uakari is a butterface.

Posted by: Used to date her at November 03, 2026 06:37 PM (RDhJX)

16 Looks like a certain candidate from MI...

Posted by: runner at November 03, 2026 06:37 PM (AKptf)

17 Well... I started drinking... And it's only 3:30ish here....

Posted by: It's me donna at November 03, 2026 06:38 PM (+gK6I)

18 "The Uakari looks like Tim Walz.
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat"

What the Uakari did we ever do to you??

Posted by: The Uakari at November 03, 2026 06:38 PM (MWfyi)

19 4 What in the Neverending Story is a Uakari?!
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at

$20. Same as in Nairobi.

Posted by: Oof at November 03, 2026 06:39 PM (RDhJX)

20 I didn't marry my brother ... as far as I know.

Posted by: The Uakari at November 03, 2026 06:39 PM (7w/AX)

21 It's me donna, cheers!

Posted by: Ben Had at November 03, 2026 06:39 PM (8Uo7a)

22 I can't look at that thing up top. Pure nightmare fuel.

Posted by: garrett at November 03, 2026 06:39 PM (/izzV)

23 I love the dogs getting visibly pissed off that someone would even offer them a vegetable.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 03, 2026 06:40 PM (viF8m)

24 Did the dude drop his rifle?

Posted by: polynikes at November 03, 2026 06:40 PM (Ti9vn)

25 I forgot to vote. Boy is my face red.

Posted by: The Uakari at November 03, 2026 06:40 PM (MWfyi)

26 17 Well... I started drinking... And it's only 3:30ish here....
Posted by: It's me donna at November 03, 2026 06:38 PM (+gK6I)

I have it on good authority it is 5 o clock somewhere.

Posted by: tryhardneckbeard at November 03, 2026 06:40 PM (8Csz2)

27
Those dogs not eating veggies made me laugh hard enough to get a side ache. Dogs.

Posted by: Frank Barone at November 03, 2026 06:40 PM (OkYzo)

28 Aha! I knew all day it was later than the clock said all day.
Checked in at a little after 10 am, and Art thread was up.
I knew it was much later but CBD was in on the joke too

Posted by: Skip at November 03, 2026 06:41 PM (Ia/+0)

29 Also was his snowmobile already running when he got to it?

Posted by: polynikes at November 03, 2026 06:41 PM (Ti9vn)

30 willowed...

311 Dang, that was good. Leftover homemade garlic chicken vegetable soup. Leftover is always best, after it gets to ripen.

Posted by: davidt at November 03, 2026 06:41 PM (Q+gd/)

31 Well... I started drinking... And it's only 3:30ish here....
Posted by: It's me donna at November 03, 2026 06:38 PM (+gK6I)
I have been drinking since 1:00

Posted by: MAC V SOG at November 03, 2026 06:42 PM (P4Pk9)

32 Cheers Donna. Want some pulled pork? I can push it thru the USB port. Then it will be pushed pork.

Posted by: fd at November 03, 2026 06:42 PM (MWfyi)

33 Which comes first, CA finishing counting or Christmas?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 03, 2026 06:43 PM (u73oe)

34 Second day soups always seem better. Second day Gumbo is amazing.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 03, 2026 06:43 PM (n5tGW)

35 33 Cheers Donna. Want some pulled pork? I can push it thru the USB port. Then it will be pushed pork.
Posted by: fd at November 03, 2026 06:42 PM (MWfyi)

Yum... We're having tacos

Posted by: It's me donna at November 03, 2026 06:43 PM (+gK6I)

36 Then it will be pushed pork.
Posted by: fd

The Paolo, he can't even. . .

Posted by: The Paolo at November 03, 2026 06:43 PM (iqv62)

37 If we can have at least one flaming skull tonight that would be good.

Posted by: H at November 03, 2026 06:44 PM (w8ire)

38 13 The Uakari looks like Tim Walz.
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at November 03, 2026 06:36 PM (hzuYO)

Totally does. Right after they found and took down the camera in the boys' locker room.

Posted by: Dr. Fausti - I WAS The Science at November 03, 2026 06:44 PM (9ZFZd)

39 I gotta think of something to do before the tallies of banana.
Wish we still had a cinema in reasonable walking distance.

Posted by: 88C+u at November 03, 2026 06:44 PM (88C+u)

40 38 If we can have at least one flaming skull tonight that would be good.
Posted by: H at November 03, 2026 06:44 PM (w8ire)

Dipped in a pudding cup. Let's hope.

Posted by: Dr. Fausti - I WAS The Science at November 03, 2026 06:44 PM (9ZFZd)

41 Olga Korbut never scored a 10. That was Nadia Comaneci in 1976.

But Olga and her teammate Ludmilla Tourischeva really brought up the difficulty in women's gymnastics. They were amazing. And the equipment they performed on was a far cry from the ultra bouncy soft mats of today.

Posted by: nurse ratched at November 03, 2026 06:44 PM (W2Pud)

42 I don't how it works out tonight, I just hope the idiots in my state don't vote for the 12 tax raising things on the ballot.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 03, 2026 06:45 PM (n5tGW)

43 23 I love the dogs getting visibly pissed off that someone would even offer them a vegetable.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 03, 2026 06:40 PM (viF8m)

The growling...LOL

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at November 03, 2026 06:45 PM (zYpTz)

44 and SQUEEEEEEE! Sea otters are the BEST otters!

thank you ace!

Posted by: nurse ratched at November 03, 2026 06:45 PM (W2Pud)

45 I don't how it works out tonight, I just hope the idiots in my state don't vote for the 12 tax raising things on the ballot.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 03, 2026 06:45 PM

Prepare for disappointment.

Posted by: The Uakari at November 03, 2026 06:46 PM (7w/AX)

46 The Carville, a small monkey living in the
treetops of the Amazon river basin.

Posted by: Orson at November 03, 2026 06:46 PM (dIske)

47 At least my ass isn't red like a baboon's.

Posted by: The Uakari at November 03, 2026 06:47 PM (wVcYX)

48 I'll get Snowflake in.
Not my cat. That's just funny.
When Ralphy goes out, she follows him.

I'm not a cat person and don't have any cats but when I get things together, I'll try to send the best pictures from the hundreds of cat pictures.

She sleeps in my chair at night with Ralphy on the floor. About 4am when she sees I'm up..I put her outside.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 106.5 years old - puppy at heart at November 03, 2026 06:47 PM (Sco7b)

49 >>I love the dogs getting visibly pissed off that someone would even offer them a vegetable.

My Labs would eat anything. They loved carrots.
But one of them would kinda complain while she ate a parsnip. She'd still eat it. But she'd jaw and moan about it while she did.

Posted by: garrett at November 03, 2026 06:48 PM (/izzV)

50 ZOMG U GUISE

James Talarico just gave 7,000 Texan women a simultaneous orgasm just with his powerful heterosexual aura. Kalshi just shot up to a 95% chance of him being our next Senator!

Posted by: ballistic at November 03, 2026 06:48 PM (oqH4h)

51 33 Cheers Donna. Want some pulled pork? I can push it thru the USB port. Then it will be pushed pork.
Posted by: fd at November 03, 2026 06:42 PM (MWfyi)

Yum... We're having tacos
Posted by: It's me donna at November 03, 2026 06:43 PM (+gK6I)

I'll be having the lasagna.

Posted by: Dr. Rumack at November 03, 2026 06:48 PM (wVcYX)

52 47 The Carville, a small monkey living in the
treetops of the Amazon river basin.

Posted by: Orson at Novembe

I'd like to be drinking with the sub-human version tonight..

Hopefully

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 106.5 years old - puppy at heart at November 03, 2026 06:49 PM (Sco7b)

53 I don't how it works out tonight, I just hope the idiots in my state don't vote for the 12 tax raising things on the ballot.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 03, 2026 06:45 PM (n5tGW)

Our final prediction is in.

In your particular hamlet, there will be a number of desperate, sweaty crooks and pederasts who will win this election, and feather their squalid little nests with your pilfered money for the duration of their terms.

They will win re-election, and soak their beaks once again, and then retch up your endless largesse into the squalling beaks of their ravenous young, for whom you will also dutifully vote, well into your senescence.

We hereby secure our sterling reputation as America's most accurate polling firm. Have a great couple of years!

We'll see you soon.

Posted by: YD Public Policy Polling, the Gold Standard in Desultory Folderol at November 03, 2026 06:50 PM (BI5O2)

54 Which comes first, CA finishing counting or Christmas?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 03, 2026 06:43 PM (u73oe)

----------------

The Ides of March.

Posted by: ShainS at November 03, 2026 06:53 PM (geK8W)

55 When you have they/them as your pronouns...a headline from the UK DM:

Trans Cornell student killed themselves after ex-lover they met in LGBT dorms spread twisted lies after their breakup, damning lawsuit says

This is retarded, sir!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at November 03, 2026 06:54 PM (hzuYO)

56 I only hope that Bruce Springsteen has to write another protest song after tonight. Maybe one that includes some crying.

Posted by: fd at November 03, 2026 06:54 PM (MWfyi)

57 who's the demonrat candidate up top there?

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at November 03, 2026 06:54 PM (VyBeY)

58 I saw Desultory Folderol open for The Smiths at the Lyceum in '83.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at November 03, 2026 06:55 PM (B0NCh)

59 That's no monkey. That's James Carville.

Or fill in the blank, 'cause y'all are a lot more creative than I.

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at November 03, 2026 06:55 PM (QaH55)

60 Where's the best place to watch returns?

Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 06:55 PM (ik4bQ)

61 We hereby secure our sterling reputation as America's most accurate polling firm. Have a great couple of years!

We'll see you soon.

Posted by: YD Public Policy Polling, the Gold Standard in Desultory Folderol at November 03, 2026 06:50 PM (BI5O2)

-----------------

To be ever known after this evening as Pushed-Pork Polling.

Posted by: ShainS at November 03, 2026 06:55 PM (geK8W)

62 Picture up top is biden?

Posted by: Eromero at November 03, 2026 06:55 PM (LHPAg)

63 who's the demonrat candidate up top there?
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at November 03, 2026 06:54 PM

Imagine a turban on her head.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 06:56 PM (7w/AX)

64 It would be hilarious if the betting markets were jumping in response to foreign news outlets crapping out second hand rumors and getting bored euros to shell out... uh... euros.

Seriously, what a stupid name for your currency. Like if America had the Americ, or the Canadians used the Canad. Or if China had the Assho.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 06:56 PM (aKiSo)

65 Poured another bourbon.

Trying to relax, spent the better part of today with a gas powered auger.

Had to dig 5 new footers for the front porch.

Pennsylvania soil is mostly rock but I got lucky overall.

Going to feel it tomorrow, but am going to have to push through it, got some tubes to fill with concrete before it rains for the next two weeks.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at November 03, 2026 06:56 PM (XV/Pl)

66 California LA Mayor results will be complete an hour after the poll closes. No Republican in the race.

Posted by: polynikes at November 03, 2026 06:57 PM (Ti9vn)

67 While Republican G. Choad Swallowstons IV leads early counts by ∛(-7) points, our methodology includes a 4:3π radians MOE.

We know that's too many squiggles for your puny human brains to comprehend, so YDPPP paid YD Insights a staggering sum of donor dollars to dive into those crosstabs, and give you - our well-heeled retard customers - the bottom line: there's an ∞/0 likelihood of a purple wave.

Posted by: YD Public Policy Polling, the Gold Standard in Desultory Folderol at November 03, 2026 06:57 PM (BI5O2)

68 I
Listening to Kate LeFrak's "American Promise", a nice, old-fashioned cinematic type score:

https://tinyurl.com/w5n7un8c

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 03, 2026 06:57 PM (kpS4V)

69 aha! yes! thx toby!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at November 03, 2026 06:57 PM (VyBeY)

70 Where's the best place to watch returns?
Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 06:55 PM

Within easy stagger of the liquor cabinet.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 03, 2026 06:57 PM (h+uWx)

71 NASDAQ futures are declining.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 06:57 PM (7w/AX)

72 Within easy stagger of the liquor cabinet.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState

Ha!

Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 06:58 PM (ik4bQ)

73 68 While Republican G. Choad Swallowstons IV leads early counts by ∛(-7) points, our methodology includes a 4:3π radians MOE.
-----
I am LOLing

Posted by: ballistic at November 03, 2026 06:59 PM (oqH4h)

74 Where's the best place to watch returns?

Walmart Customer Service

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 03, 2026 06:59 PM (n5tGW)

75 The Uakari looks like Hellboy when he got his horns sawed off.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 03, 2026 06:59 PM (kpS4V)

76 " Trans Cornell student killed themselves after ex-lover they"

I hope there is an "s" missing here.

Posted by: fd at November 03, 2026 07:00 PM (MWfyi)

77 "You actually cut it off?

.....

Well then what the hell am i supposed to honk ketamine off of, now? A fucking countertop? Like some kind of savage!?!? You can be really thoughtless sometimes, you know?"

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:00 PM (aKiSo)

78 Trans Cornell student killed themselves after ex-lover they met in LGBT dorms spread twisted lies after their breakup, damning lawsuit says....

Lawsuit probably blames transphobia for her death and claims Cornell allowed it.

Posted by: polynikes at November 03, 2026 07:00 PM (Ti9vn)

79 Where's the best place to watch returns?
Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 06:55 PM

AoSHQ. You're soaking in it.

Posted by: Madge at November 03, 2026 07:00 PM (wVcYX)

80 Trans Cornell student killed themselves after ex-lover they met in LGBT dorms spread twisted lies after their breakup, damning lawsuit says.

-----

The twisted lie was in his drawers.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at November 03, 2026 07:00 PM (BI5O2)

81 " Did you know ducks mate for life"
" I killed both of them"

Dinner scene in Yellowstone is still fucking awesome.

Posted by: Ben Had at November 03, 2026 07:00 PM (8Uo7a)

82 AOSHQ... not just a smart military blog

Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:01 PM (ik4bQ)

83 I'm starting to remember why I don't drink liquor anymore.

Posted by: fd at November 03, 2026 07:01 PM (MWfyi)

84 The stock market won't like a Dem win .

Posted by: polynikes at November 03, 2026 07:01 PM (Ti9vn)

85 with a gas powered auger.

Had to dig 5 new footers for the front porch.

Pennsylvania soil is mostly rock but I got lucky overall.

Going to feel it tomorrow, but am going to have to push through it, got some tubes to fill with concrete before it rains for the next two weeks.

Posted by: Thomas Bender
-------------

Used a gas auger three times, every time said never again.
They work better hooked up to a 9N.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 03, 2026 07:01 PM (vOxCS)

86 The dogs rejecting vegetables is hilarious.

"Just a little bite."
Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 03, 2026 07:01 PM (kpS4V)

87 New data should be rolling in.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 03, 2026 07:02 PM (vOxCS)

88 WTF is going on at Cornell? Geez, I thought South West Texas State was the party school.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 03, 2026 07:02 PM (Ckdd9)

89 Trans Cornell student killed themselves after ex-lover they met in LGBT dorms spread twisted lies after their breakup, damning lawsuit says.

Oh No !!!

Anyway.
Posted by: How It Works at November 03, 2026 06:57 PM (ZJhkv)

You need to dilute the crazy to get through life.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 03, 2026 07:03 PM (uhVAy)

90 Nutsack Monkey is nightmare fuel.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 03, 2026 07:03 PM (RDiUV)

91 Alabama polls close at 7pm. So in about a hour maybe all those stupid commercials will stop coming on TV. My mute button will finally get some relief. Probably have to buy new batteries soon. Voted straight Republican. Done my part.😊

Posted by: Case at November 03, 2026 07:03 PM (En+fz)

92 The stock market won't like a Dem win .
Posted by: polynikes

F 'em. They'll get over it.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 03, 2026 07:03 PM (Ckdd9)

93 How deep do you have to go up there ? And do you just try to hit bedrock ?
Posted by: How It Works at November 03, 2026 07:02 PM (ZJhkv)

I think code is 36"?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:03 PM (aKiSo)

94 Watching NTD TV hope what you're watching is better.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 03, 2026 07:03 PM (vOxCS)

95 Running an auger by yourself will kick your ass.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at November 03, 2026 07:04 PM (8B4gm)

96 Used a gas auger three times, every time said never again.
They work better hooked up to a 9N.

Posted by: Braenyard

I have a gas auger that works. Cannot give it away, for some reason.

Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:04 PM (ik4bQ)

97 Yep. At least 3'

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at November 03, 2026 07:04 PM (8B4gm)

98 At this moment, don't know if I'm the Duke Brothers or Louis and Billy Ray.

But at least I'm not Clarence Beeks.

Posted by: Count de Monet at November 03, 2026 07:04 PM (wVcYX)

99 Running an auger by yourself will kick your ass.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at November 03, 2026 07:04 PM (8B4gm)

I got one attached to a dingo once that worked good enough. Not the cheapest thing to rent, but cheaper than back surgery.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:05 PM (aKiSo)

100 Unfair to the Monkey (French insp.Clouseau/Minkey?)
to compare him to Steven Miller,
no wonder he looks so depressed!

Wouldn't you?

LET'S GO BRANDON!
NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO WOBBLE
-- no JD, *YOU* hang up first.

Posted by: MANFRED the Heat Seeking OBOE at November 03, 2026 07:05 PM (hvef+)

101 Ace. Can we talk election stuff here?
Snowflake and Ralphy are in.

And MSNow already called Virginia Senate for the dems.
Did they count the votes or was that a guesstimate?

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 106.5 years old - puppy at heart at November 03, 2026 07:06 PM (Sco7b)

102 California LA Mayor results will be complete an hour after the poll closes. No Republican in the race.
Posted by: polynikes at November 03, 2026 06:57 PM (Ti9vn)

All depends on if the "Mayor letting your house burn" subparty overcomes the "Mayor Silly Bint" subparty

Posted by: Oldcat at November 03, 2026 07:06 PM (uhVAy)

103 Evening, Ace, and Caf patrons! That is not my minkey!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 03, 2026 07:06 PM (0kX4S)

104 Sad!

We'll no doubt see you tomorrow, yes?

Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:06 PM (ik4bQ)

105 How deep do you have to go up there ? And do you just try to hit bedrock ?
Posted by: How It Works at November 03, 2026 07:02 PM (ZJhkv)

I think code is 36"?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:03 PM (aKiSo)

That's what she said.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 03, 2026 07:07 PM (RDiUV)

106 78 " Trans Cornell student killed themselves after ex-lover they"

I hope there is an "s" missing here.
Posted by: fd at November 03, 2026 07:00 PM (MWfyi)
******
If you're trans it takes longer, depending on how many personalities/cis/pan/turn arounds are in your husk to kill.

I guess.

I thought it would read "students" vs one trans or two trans jumping on a bed, two fell off and the doctor said:No more trans jumping on a bed.

Watching a movie. Polls are depressing, deceiving, and discombobulating. I am disbombobulated enough on my own.

I've been optimistic til I scan headlines so I'm stopping.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at November 03, 2026 07:07 PM (hzuYO)

107 Thanks Trump for stepping on your own dick
---

"My dick is so YUGE I keep stepping on it! Can you believe it? It's amazing! Hegseth's gonna make sure all our military guys get swingin' johnsons too!"

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 03, 2026 07:07 PM (kpS4V)

108 Has Fox News called Arizona already?

Posted by: dantesed at November 03, 2026 07:08 PM (Oy/m2)

109 Senator (iTakeItDeep) Warner.

now we're discussing Talarico
didja know Houston is in Ft. Bend Co.
Where the F&^% is Ft. Bend Co?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 03, 2026 07:08 PM (vOxCS)

110 107 California LA Mayor results will be complete an hour after the poll closes. No Republican in the race.
Posted by: polynikes at November 03, 2026 06:57 PM (Ti9vn)

All depends on if the "Mayor letting your house burn" subparty overcomes the "Mayor Silly Bint" subparty
Posted by: Oldcat

My bet's are on the Minkey...

Posted by: MANFRED the Heat Seeking OBOE at November 03, 2026 07:08 PM (hvef+)

111 The last of the jelly

Got it on the lip

Tomorrow wake up with sore hole

Sad

Posted by: AOS dope at November 03, 2026 07:08 PM (MWfyi)

112 I saw Nutsack Monkey open for Pussy Riot at Helldorado in the Netherlands. It was a fucking euro mess.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at November 03, 2026 07:08 PM (zYpTz)

113 I've seen fence crews use an auger attached to the end of a Bobcat sized micro on tires. Seems to work.
Posted by: How It Works

I own a Bobcat so I just had to rent the auger for my porch holes. Can't imagine having my help do it. Use too much concrete!

Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:09 PM (ik4bQ)

114 118 I saw Nutsack Monkey open for Pussy Riot at Helldorado in the Netherlands. It was a fucking euro mess.
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs!

P.R. Didn't Vlad throw them in Prison?
What did they break out Harley Quinn-style?

Posted by: MANFRED the Heat Seeking OBOE at November 03, 2026 07:09 PM (fYnH/)

115 Oh, and depth is whatever frost line is.

Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:10 PM (ik4bQ)

116 Put on Fox Business. Robert Wolff a Dem strategist is on. He's very full of crap

Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 03, 2026 07:10 PM (cfGMy)

117 Has Fox News called Arizona already?
Posted by: dantesed at November 03, 2026 07:08 PM (Oy/m2)

Yes....Lindsay Graham is leading Barney Fag 59% to 41% with 2% of the vote total counted.

Posted by: Fox News, Boomer and Balanced at November 03, 2026 07:10 PM (Ssbab)

118 121 Put on Fox Business. Robert Wolff a Dem strategist is on. He's very full of crap
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 03, 2026 07:10 PM (cfGMy)

They shouldn't count their chickens before they hatch

Posted by: It's me donna at November 03, 2026 07:11 PM (4WM7K)

119 P.R. Didn't Vlad throw them in Prison?
What did they break out Harley Quinn-style?
Posted by: MANFRED the Heat Seeking OBOE at November 03, 2026 07:09 PM (fYnH/)

Uhhh...it was before then! Yeah!

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at November 03, 2026 07:12 PM (zYpTz)

120 I would get more information and deeper analysis about election results if i went out back and asked the deer humping their way through my back woods than if i turned on any tv channel right now.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:12 PM (aKiSo)

121 When you have they/them as your pronouns...a headline from the UK DM:

Trans Cornell student killed themselves after ex-lover they met in LGBT dorms spread twisted lies after their breakup, damning lawsuit says

This is retarded, sir!
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at November 03, 2026 06:54 PM (hzuYO)

If they is more than one of thems, it should be a class-action lawsuit.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 03, 2026 07:12 PM (0kX4S)

122 Dingo, dingo, dingo

https://youtu.be/rx3dzRBoWeE?t=146

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 03, 2026 07:13 PM (vOxCS)

123 We got a live one in this thread.

Posted by: Max Power at November 03, 2026 07:13 PM (SwyyQ)

124 >>What do you know polls aren’t just for strippers.

>Also for people who understand how statistics works.

Check out the Science Party Guy.

Apparently, it is a slow night at the gloryhole.

Posted by: garrett at November 03, 2026 07:13 PM (/izzV)

125 Dang, I'd be sad, too, if I had that face.

Posted by: GWB at November 03, 2026 07:14 PM (kU0PQ)

126 Dammit, there's no Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy tonight.

*shakes cane at t.v.*
*spills cup of Postum*

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 03, 2026 07:14 PM (kpS4V)

127 Where's the best place to watch returns?
Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 06:55 PM (ik4bQ)

Customer-service desk at a sex toy shop?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 03, 2026 07:14 PM (0kX4S)

128 MSNow' DEI is talking about supposed Trump corruption and how people are upset.

Frick, we're in different realties.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 106.5 years old - puppy at heart at November 03, 2026 07:14 PM (Sco7b)

129 Oh, and depth is whatever frost line is.
Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:10 PM

Fear me!

Posted by: Frost Heave at November 03, 2026 07:14 PM (7w/AX)

130 as an open thread, Archive Of Our Own has issued a reason for their recent outage.
It seems some guy called "Ganesh" vibecoded his own mirror of Ao3, and found a way to scrape all the data from the real Ao3. Then Ganesh posted that in public, and started selling audiobooks for the shit he stole.
But it's okay because if you emailed him with evidence that you were, in fact, the author; he'd take it down. But you have to supply Ganesh with your Ao3 username and other evidence. Also you should feel bad for Ganesh because it cost him a lot of money to run the fake website and to buy all those AI tokens and run the script.

Posted by: 88C+u at November 03, 2026 07:14 PM (88C+u)

131 Cat at the starting block was funny

Posted by: Skip at November 03, 2026 07:15 PM (Ia/+0)

132 My county will be 75% Red vote but neighboring Harris county will cancel that out and more.

Posted by: polynikes at November 03, 2026 07:15 PM (Ti9vn)

133 How stupid do you have to be to look at the results coming in and insist the garbage polls were accurate?

Posted by: JackStraw at November 03, 2026 07:15 PM (viF8m)

134 If I had real property ? I'd own a Bobcat. Just to play around on the damn thing. Or a Micro Tractor.
Posted by: How It Works at November 03, 2026 07:10 PM (ZJhkv)

And keep a hole about 6' deep and about 7' x 3' dug with a mound of dirt next to it. Maybe keep a tarp next to it.

Posted by: GWB at November 03, 2026 07:15 PM (kU0PQ)

135 We got a live one in this thread.
Posted by: Max Power at November 03, 2026 07:13 PM

Every time I play with the dancing monkeys they get vapored and I get lectured about quoting trolls.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:16 PM (7w/AX)

136 I've been optimistic til I scan headlines so I'm stopping.
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at November 03, 2026 07:07 PM
They lie, cheat, and steal.

Posted by: Eromero at November 03, 2026 07:16 PM (LHPAg)

137 didn't toby928 have his own stalker at some point? I know Anna did. seems to be TJM's turn now.

Posted by: 88C+u at November 03, 2026 07:17 PM (88C+u)

138 132 Dammit, there's no Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy tonight.

*shakes cane at t.v.*
*spills cup of Postum*
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 03, 2026 07:14 PM (kpS4V)

I know! My mama is disappoint!

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at November 03, 2026 07:17 PM (zYpTz)

139 This troll is autistic and likely a tranny.

Posted by: polynikes at November 03, 2026 07:17 PM (Ti9vn)

140 133 Where's the best place to watch returns?
Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 06:55 PM (ik4bQ)

Customer-service desk at a sex toy shop?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 03, 2026 07:14 PM (0kX4S)

"I keep stepping on my TrumpDick!"

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 03, 2026 07:17 PM (kpS4V)

141 the Uakari, a small monkey living in the
treetops Of blue states in America

Posted by: Gonzotx at November 03, 2026 07:18 PM (nGraA)

142 Tmj screaming in agony right now as reality sets in

lol

Sad!

🤣🤣🤣

Posted by: AOS cope at November 03, 2026 07:19 PM (Kk7gx)

143 "This troll is autistic and likely a tranny."

Masturbates too much.

Posted by: The peoples republic of hellinois at November 03, 2026 07:19 PM (5Op5D)

144 "Every time I play with the dancing monkeys they get vapored and I get lectured about quoting trolls.
Posted by: toby928(c) "

I'll back you up. Just don't touch it.

Posted by: AOS dope at November 03, 2026 07:19 PM (MWfyi)

145 139 How stupid do you have to be to look at the results coming in and insist the garbage polls were accurate?

Posted by: JackStraw
---

How much are you paying?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 03, 2026 07:19 PM (vOxCS)

146 I went to a heavy equipment auction to buy my Bobcat.
They had a rental shops fleet of Dingos there. All were over 2500 hours, and all sold for more than $9,000!
I passed.

Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:19 PM (ik4bQ)

147 Whoa this dude is barking mad.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at November 03, 2026 07:20 PM (BI5O2)

148 I am shorting the NAS and it is plunging at the moment.

I almost feel bad taking people's money.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:20 PM (7w/AX)

149 What were the damning lies the ex-trans lover spread????

Posted by: lin-duh at November 03, 2026 07:20 PM (VCgbV)

150 How stupid do you have to be to look at the results coming in and insist the garbage polls were accurate?
Posted by: JackStraw at November 03, 2026 07:15 PM (viF8m)

Really stupid!

Posted by: Somali Joe, 78 IQ at November 03, 2026 07:20 PM (Ssbab)

151 Whoa this dude is barking mad.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at November 03, 2026 07:20 PM (BI5O2)

You need to be more specific.

Posted by: dantesed at November 03, 2026 07:21 PM (Oy/m2)

152 You need to be more specific.
Posted by: dantesed at November 03, 2026 07:21 PM (Oy/m2)

The stalker.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at November 03, 2026 07:21 PM (BI5O2)

153 125 P.R. Didn't Vlad throw them in Prison?
What did they break out Harley Quinn-style?
Posted by: MANFRED the Heat Seeking OBOE at November 03, 2026 07:09 PM (fYnH/)

Uhhh...it was before then! Yeah!
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs!

FWIW: Catch and Release! even in Russia -- blame the Minkey!

P.R. are not currently sitting inside a Russian prison, because most of the collective has left Russia and operates in exile. However, Russian courts have continued to hand down heavy prison sentences against them in absentia.

The Event: In February 2012, members staged an impromptu "punk prayer" protest inside Moscow’s Cathedral of Christ the Saviour

The Charges & Sentence: Three members (Maria Alyokhina, Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, and Yekaterina Samutsevich) were arrested and convicted of "hooliganism motivated by religious hatred." They were sentenced to 2 years in a penal colony. Did they serve it? Samutsevich had her sentence suspended on appeal, while Alyokhina and Tolokonnikova served roughly 21 months before being released in December 2013 under a general state amnesty, shortly before sentences were to expire anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMhwddNQSWQ
Dare to be Stupid

Posted by: MANFRED the Heat Seeking OBOE at November 03, 2026 07:21 PM (LZjBB)

154 134 MSNow' DEI is talking about supposed Trump corruption and how people are upset.

Frick, we're in different realties.
Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 106.5 years old - puppy at heart at November 03, 2026 07:14 PM (Sco7b)

We're in fact- based reality. Theyre in a AntiTrump-verse where boys are girls and nose rings are stronk.

Posted by: LASue at November 03, 2026 07:22 PM (lCppi)

155 Oh, numbers.

You say an integer, no one believes you.

You say something with one decimal of precision, suddenly it's Science.

Stick a percent sign on it? Holy shit, time to break out the incense and let's sacrifice some damn livestock.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:22 PM (aKiSo)

156 SQQQ has gone from 42.40 to 43.10 in about two minutes.

Yesss...let the fear flow through you.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:22 PM (7w/AX)

157 "You need to be more specific.
Posted by: dantesed"

I was going to say that I have barely yelped tonight.

Posted by: fd at November 03, 2026 07:22 PM (MWfyi)

158 I passed.
Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:19 PM (ik4bQ)

It sucks.

I blame YouTube.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:23 PM (aKiSo)

159 But it's okay because if you emailed him with evidence that you were, in fact, the author; he'd take it down. But you have to supply Ganesh with your Ao3 username and other evidence. Also you should feel bad for Ganesh because it cost him a lot of money to run the fake website and to buy all those AI tokens and run the script.
Posted by: 88C+u at November 03, 2026 07:14 PM (88C+u)

Why are there no extraterritorial vigilantes to take care of these foreign trolls?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 03, 2026 07:23 PM (0kX4S)

160 139 How stupid do you have to be to look at the results coming in and insist the garbage polls were accurate?

Posted by: JackStraw at November 03, 2026 07:15 PM (viF8m

Watching MSNow and CNN now.

My point in a minute. They love Angie Dixon! Who doesn't love a stupid craxy bitch?

I think the networks are really showing results they want. It's early in the night. Dem Tsunami.

Hopefully, on air suicides happen with more numbers they can't distort.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 106.5 years old - puppy at heart at November 03, 2026 07:23 PM (Sco7b)

161 just got home
sorry for going off topic
love the monkeys.

went to vote this morning.
long haired 'Mister Natural' dude took care of my look see.

I moved across town, Pa. voter for 50 years.
I told him I'm a new voter. he was very smiley and cordial.
He asked for my name. I told him, he looked it up and saw I was a Republican. he grew cold.
Stone funny.
Then he asked for my drivers license.
I'm not sure that is legal in Pa.

Funny look at our voting situation.
Everyone else at the poll was cordial and professional

Posted by: redenzo at November 03, 2026 07:24 PM (Vd9oe)

162 am shorting the NAS and it is plunging at the moment.

I almost feel bad taking people's money.
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:20 PM (7w/AX)

Dont feel bad Give 10 percent of gains to charity and pray for the misguided

Posted by: LASue at November 03, 2026 07:24 PM (lCppi)

163 I'll be completely out at 43.32 so soon.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:24 PM (7w/AX)

164 I have to keep a bag of Beggin Bacon strips around. The dogs expect them. They would throw their noses up at vegetables. They would look at me like I have gone crazy.

Posted by: Case at November 03, 2026 07:24 PM (En+fz)

165 "This troll is autistic and likely a tranny."

Masturbates too much.
Posted by: The peoples republic of hellinois at November 03, 2026 07:19 PM

Ghey.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 03, 2026 07:24 PM (h+uWx)

166 and boom. out.

That was a quick .65% onto my account.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:25 PM (7w/AX)

167 That was a quick .65% onto my account.
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:25 PM (7w/AX)

That's an APR of like fifty kajillion percent.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:26 PM (aKiSo)

168 Masturbates too much.
Posted by: The peoples republic of hellinois

Is there an official number?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 03, 2026 07:26 PM (Ckdd9)

169 Still plunging, must resist buying back in.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:26 PM (7w/AX)

170 Two friends complete opposites except they were math freaks, loved sports and gambling. Neither one of them would touch a sports bet.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 03, 2026 07:27 PM (vOxCS)

171 What market are you trading, toby?

Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:27 PM (ik4bQ)

172 Made me pizza stew for me and the poll worker crew. Someone also made pepperoni rolls, and boy, those 2 made a great combo!

Posted by: Cray Cray at November 03, 2026 07:28 PM (TyspU)

173 >> Masturbates too much

Look. I don't like the guy anymore than you do...
but Doxxing his Native American Name?

That's not cool, Bro.

Posted by: garrett at November 03, 2026 07:28 PM (/izzV)

174 Masturbates too much.
Posted by: The peoples republic of hellinois

Is there an official number?
Posted by: rickb223 at November 03, 2026 07:26 PM (Ckdd9)

I mean anything greater than one at a time is suspect.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:28 PM (aKiSo)

175 Is there an official number?
Posted by: rickb223 at November 03, 2026 07:26 PM (Ckdd9)

ASk pete. he would know.

Posted by: A random guy on the net at November 03, 2026 07:28 PM (5Op5D)

176 Look. I don't like the guy anymore than you do...
but Doxxing his Native American Name?

That's not cool, Bro.
Posted by: garrett at November 03, 2026 07:28 PM (/izzV)

😂😂😂

Posted by: A random guy on the net at November 03, 2026 07:29 PM (5Op5D)

177 What market are you trading, toby?
Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:27 PM

SQQQ on the NASDAC

Back in at 43.50. I am going to have watch this. BBL

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:29 PM (7w/AX)

178 remember that bulls can win and bears can win, but pigs get slaughtered

Posted by: 88C+u learnt this from Greeley's "Ascent into Hell" at November 03, 2026 07:30 PM (88C+u)

179 >>Look. I don't like the guy anymore than you do...
but Doxxing his Native American Name?

Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking?

Posted by: JackStraw at November 03, 2026 07:30 PM (viF8m)

180 MSNow reporting all Dems ahead.
Advance voting.

I'll still hang in and hopefully report on-air suicides.

Shit. Velshi is Canadian.
AOP and I can only make up for so much of these sub-humans.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 106.5 years old - puppy at heart at November 03, 2026 07:30 PM (Sco7b)

181 SQQQ on the NASDAC

Should have asked exchange, I reckon

Posted by: MkY at November 03, 2026 07:31 PM (ik4bQ)

182 Nood.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at November 03, 2026 07:31 PM (B0NCh)

183 Nood

Posted by: Steeldoc at November 03, 2026 07:31 PM (zhZcU)

184 I'm rocking the more traditional side of that play.

I've been rotating out and taking fat gains for a little while. Sounds like now is the time for gobbling up some tasty discounts.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:32 PM (aKiSo)

185 Philadelphia anti-Israel groups are planning a bicycle ride targeting Jewish-owned businesses on the eve of the anniversary of Kristallnacht, the 1938 Nazi-orchestrated pogrom against Jews in Germany and Austria.

Maybe we are the Baddies is not just a musical.

Posted by: r hennigantx at November 03, 2026 07:33 PM (/+uur)

186 Out at 43.72. So padded a bit. I wish I had jumped in with both feet but being greedy is what always effs me up.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:33 PM (7w/AX)

187 @91

>> How deep do you have to go up there ? And do you just try to hit bedrock ?

Technically, 42 inches, got to 32 inches, the only way to get deeper would be blasting dynamite.

So I used a clam digger to mushroom out the bottom.

This will be better than what was originally there which was 4x4 posts directly in the ground.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at November 03, 2026 07:35 PM (XV/Pl)

188 163 Oh, numbers.

You say an integer, no one believes you.

You say something with one decimal of precision, suddenly it's Science.

Stick a percent sign on it? Holy shit, time to break out the incense and let's sacrifice some damn livestock.
Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:22 PM (aKiSo)

See, this is my foundational problem with the Climate Apocalypse Industry. I'm supposed to believe that not just one specific thermometer was correctly calibrated to the tenth of a degree. I'm supposed to believe that for decades starting in the 1800's most if not all were.
to the tenth of a degree?

Further, when I was taught science, we measured as best we could and reported results in one less decimal degree of certainty. If we measured in tenths, results were in whole numbers.

In short their data is shit. Their conclusions are shit. And these guys are retarded. I rest my case.

Posted by: Bilwis - Wizard of Clwyd at November 03, 2026 07:36 PM (r7+Q7)

189 Back in and out to bring the gains to +0.80% but that's it for me unless a real 3 or 4 percent plunge looks to be starting.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:39 PM (7w/AX)

190 Stick a percent sign on it? Holy shit, time to break out the incense and let's sacrifice some damn livestock.
Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 03, 2026 07:22 PM (aKiSo)

Entrails. Ya gotta have entrails.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at November 03, 2026 07:40 PM (iIyc0)

191 Interestingly, gold is dropping.

Posted by: toby928(c) at November 03, 2026 07:41 PM (7w/AX)

192 Up since 3:15am, time for bed
Have a good night everyone

Posted by: Skip at November 03, 2026 07:43 PM (Ia/+0)

193 196 Philadelphia anti-Israel groups are planning a bicycle ride targeting Jewish-owned businesses on the eve of the anniversary of Kristallnacht, the 1938 Nazi-orchestrated pogrom against Jews in Germany and Austria.

Maybe we are the Baddies is not just a musical.
Posted by: r hennigantx at November 03, 2026 07:33 PM
You get a lot of bicycles bunched up on narrow streets, people could get hurt. Know what I mean?

Posted by: Eromero at November 03, 2026 07:43 PM (LHPAg)

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