Daily Tech News 23 October 2026

Top Story

PHP is the cyber equivalent of an unexploded bomb. (BBC)

That's a little unfair. Unexploded bombs have, by definition, not exploded.

PHP has logged 697 security vulnerabilities to date.

Tech News

BeIN, a Qatari company with offices in France sued Quad9, a Swiss company operating a central DNS service, to force it to block DNS lookups for people looking for pirate streams of the content BeIN hosts. A French court just ruled in BeIN's favour.

So Quad9 blocked France. (Quad9)

Jumanji.
Google has found a way to shed unattractive weight without dangerous drugs, tiresome exercise, or unfair dismissal lawsuits. (BBC)

Should have started doing this twenty years ago. It's probably too late now.
GitLab. (The Register)

A 10.0 severity security hole that has existed in all versions since 2014.
Mark Zuckerberg plans to keep living in California and have Facebook shareholders pay the dystopian communist nation's wealth tax. (Tech Crunch)

It's dystopian communism all the way down.
The Pentagon has given the DHS permission to try out death lasers on illegal immigrants at the border. (CNN)

Effects reportedly include a tingling, burning sensation, an instinctive compulsion to flee, and instantaneous incineration. Neat.

Musical Interlude

Disclaimer: This one goes up to eleven. That's one vulnerabler.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 04:00 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 w00t

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:00 AM (odBC9)

2 Couldn't sleep...will try again.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 23, 2026 04:08 AM (l3cgK)

3 G'Day everyone
TGIF and a lot closer to home today

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 04:08 AM (Ia/+0)

4 You just know there was at least one colonel working on his slide deck for that project who despaired because the acronym SCRAM was already taken for some crummy airplane motor doohicky, so he couldn't use it for his beaner zapper project.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:11 AM (aKiSo)

5 Couldn't sleep...will try again.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 23, 2026 04:08 AM (l3cgK)

Try counting llamas if the sheep aren't working.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:14 AM (aKiSo)

6 "Strongly Collimated Radiation Array ...uhhh...Motherf---"

"COLONEL! NO!!!!"

"Ahhhh, crap. You guys are boring, I should have joined the Marines."

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:18 AM (aKiSo)

7
Well, that was a heck of a rant I posted right before pixy showed up! I'll save it for later today.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:24 AM (mmrXZ)

8 Huh. You get one free BBC article and then you have to subscribe. Oh well.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at October 23, 2026 04:25 AM (iIyc0)

9 >>>The Pentagon has given the DHS permission to try out death lasers on illegal immigrants at the border. (CNN)

hmm

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:30 AM (odBC9)

10
lol "death lasers."

It's for use on giant crowds, so... the warmth of collectivism.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:31 AM (mmrXZ)

11 8 Huh. You get one free BBC article and then you have to subscribe. Oh well.
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at October 23, 2026 04:25 AM (iIyc0)

Goodbye to them!

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:31 AM (odBC9)

12 8 Huh. You get one free BBC article and then you have to subscribe. Oh well.
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at October 23, 2026 04:25 AM (iIyc0)

That's a great model for nice things that anyone would actually want. Like cookies. Or heroin.

Not so much for chat-bot written fake news in a south asian accent.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:31 AM (aKiSo)

13 It's for use on giant crowds, so... the warmth of collectivism.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:31 AM (mmrXZ)

(coffee snort)

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:32 AM (aKiSo)

14 7
Well, that was a heck of a rant I posted right before pixy showed up! I'll save it for later today.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:24 AM (mmrXZ)

On the ONT? I don't see it.

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:32 AM (odBC9)

15 BOING!

Crazy woman posts wise life lesson:

https://tinyurl.com/f5ww26dh

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at October 23, 2026 04:33 AM (i2Ycu)

16
Zuckerberg ought to leave the state and fly in to work every day.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:33 AM (mmrXZ)

17 12 8 Huh. You get one free BBC article and then you have to subscribe. Oh well.
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at October 23, 2026 04:25 AM (iIyc0)

That's a great model for nice things that anyone would actually want. Like cookies. Or heroin.

Not so much for chat-bot written fake news in a south asian accent.
Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:31 AM (aKiSo)

I'll miss their unbiased headlines.

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:33 AM (odBC9)

18 14 7
Well, that was a heck of a rant I posted right before pixy showed up! I'll save it for later today.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:24 AM (mmrXZ)

On the ONT? I don't see it.
Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:32 AM (odBC9)

Now I see it! (I hadn't hit refresh.)

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:35 AM (odBC9)

19 18 14 7
Well, that was a heck of a rant I posted right before pixy showed up! I'll save it for later today.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:24 AM (mmrXZ)

On the ONT? I don't see it.
Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:32 AM (odBC9)

Now I see it! (I hadn't hit refresh.)
Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:35 AM (odBC9)

It's a good one!

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:36 AM (odBC9)

20 "California is a state dedicated to the comfort of the worst titans bestriding an ever-more fake society, amassing wealth through the abject penury of everyone else."

"So you're leaving?"

"Heck nah, bro. This is great!"

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:36 AM (aKiSo)

21 Mornin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at October 23, 2026 04:36 AM (s1NDj)

22 Have Starbux Morning Blend coffee, is that strong

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 04:51 AM (Ia/+0)

23 Zuckerberg should buy some land and build a compound in or near Reno. Plenty of folks commute over the CA-NV state line. Pretty straight shot to the Bay Area on days he needs to be in the office.

Posted by: Epobirs at October 23, 2026 04:54 AM (/0z9K)

24 Have Starbux Morning Blend coffee, is that strong
Posted by: Skip

Breakfast Blend. People assume it's a low caffeine blend. It's not.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 23, 2026 04:59 AM (nEUC6)

25 https://tinyurl.com/45d7fbj7
Thought this YouTube short was funny, 3 older guys walking into heaven

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 05:00 AM (Ia/+0)

26 Breakfast Blend. People assume it's a low caffeine blend. It's not.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 23, 2026 04:59 AM (nEUC6)

Lighter roasts tend to have more caffeine than darker roasts

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:01 AM (aKiSo)

27
It's a good one!
Posted by: m

===========

haha! thank you. I'm so pathetic, I was driving home thinking "I'm gonna post about this on ace!!!"

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 05:01 AM (mmrXZ)

28 In followups to Larry Niven's essay, 'Another Modest Proposal', there emerged the idea of using the border as a nuclear waste dump, with signage in many languages reading IF YOU CROSS THIS LINE YOU WILL DIE.

https://tinyurl.com/4fpy53ry

Posted by: Epobirs at October 23, 2026 05:01 AM (/0z9K)

29 25 https://tinyurl.com/45d7fbj7
Thought this YouTube short was funny, 3 older guys walking into heaven
Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 05:00 AM (Ia/+0)

; )

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:03 AM (odBC9)

30 Securing a border has never really been a technical problem. At least not since the first humans learned to stack rocks and swing a fist.

There is no technology barrier to securing a border. The only problem is the willingness to do it, and to devote the resources needed to do it.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:04 AM (aKiSo)

31
g'mornin', 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at October 23, 2026 05:06 AM (AMvSw)

32 beIN, a Qatari company with offices in France, previously sought to force Quad9 to block resolution for a set of domain names they assert are participating in copyright infringement of its audiovisual rights on sports event broadcasts. Quad9 has no association with these domain names, nor with the operators of the websites. The French courts have fundamentally misunderstood the working of the internet and the role of the domain name system and have allowed a financial penalty to apply to Quad9 if we do not block DNS responses to users in France.

It's a ridiculous ruling from idiotic bureaucrats pretending to be judges.

Instead of going after the owners of the offending domain, and the server hosting it to make them take the site down, they decide, Italian style, to just make a company block the DNS resolve.

Why?
Because it's easier on them that way.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 23, 2026 05:06 AM (6ydKt)

33 I see Daylight Fking time is supposed to end next weekend, hope its the last time for clock changes

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 05:12 AM (Ia/+0)

34 Immigration Reform has always been " How can we make it easier to get the Illegals faster"

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 05:13 AM (Ia/+0)

35 9 >>>The Pentagon has given the DHS permission to try out death lasers on illegal immigrants at the border. (CNN)

hmm
Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:30 AM (odBC9)

LOL I thought you were being Pixily snarky, but that summary kinda matches the CNN headline!

Pentagon grants DHS permission to test heat ray weapon for potential use at border

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:13 AM (odBC9)

36 CNN: The heat ray, officially known as the Active Denial System, is a nonlethal weapon that shoots an invisible beam of electromagnetic waves that can reach a little more than half a mile away, according to the US military.

It's like a heat ray
Burning in my heart
Can't keep from crying
It's tearing me apart

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:16 AM (odBC9)

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