Saturday Night Club ONT - September 26, 2026 [Disco & Dino]

Welcome to Club ONT - a whelming collaboration of The Disco and The Dino.

Open thread - bar is open, too. Come in in, grab a drink or 2. Or 3. Keep it light and friendly. The Moose loves a good knock knock joke, so pause on your way in and share your best with him. The Moose has a strange sense of humor so don't take it personally if he doesn't get the joke.

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Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.

For a second, everything was quiet in the cab.

Then the driver said, "Look, mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

-----

*****

Drink of the Night

Whatever this guy is serving!

I am going to have to insist this is the only way I prefer to receive my adult beverages going forward. pic.twitter.com/6kC9NLYaJm
— Critically Thinking & Drinking 🧐 🥃🧉🍸🍹🤪 (@TheCriticalDri1) September 25, 2026

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Club ONT Department of School Gun Safety

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Club ONT Department of Culture

No, oxymoron is not an Ace of Spades term.

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Club ONT Lunchroom Refrigerator Update

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Club ONT Department of Inappropriate Whizzing

15 yard penalty for taking your dick out and peeing on the field

Thought this was America pic.twitter.com/R1df5W0uea
— Pardon My Take (@PardonMyTake) September 26, 2026

Things I thought I would NEVER hear in my lifetime lmao

“Unsportsmanlike conduct, Number 1, simulating using the restroom." 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/5xp7gn3ylt
— Hater Report (@HaterReport) September 26, 2026

Guess he didn't have the proper restroom token

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Club ONT Jukebox

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Top 10ish Comments of the Week

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Club ONT is brought to you by trickery

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Due to high demand, Club ONT is oversold this evening. We appreciate and value your business and may be looking for volunteers to accept a generous voucher for Club ONT restroom tokens to make space and enjoy the annex.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 09:55 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 2nd

Posted by: Bilwis - Wizard of Clwyd at September 26, 2026 09:56 PM (r7+Q7)

2 duly nooded

Posted by: Bilwis - Wizard of Clwyd at September 26, 2026 09:56 PM (r7+Q7)

3
Yay!!!! Thank you guys.

Posted by: four seasons at September 26, 2026 09:57 PM (/QHx4)

4 Early ONT > Late ONT

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at September 26, 2026 09:58 PM (Jc4hv)

5 Mornin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at September 26, 2026 09:59 PM (PGK1w)

6 20 days until the 11th TX MoMee.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at September 26, 2026 10:00 PM (+fdRY)

7 Why didn't anyone tell me Death Of Stalin was this good nine years ago??
Be better, Horde.

Posted by: 88C+u at September 26, 2026 10:01 PM (88C+u)

8 I want that bartender at my christmas parties.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at September 26, 2026 10:02 PM (S41Gd)

9 Rex, where are those two Utah highways? Anywhere near St. George?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:02 PM (1Ff7Z)

10 Club ONT Lunchroom Refrigerator Update

TIL "rice" is a mass noun and not a count noun.

Posted by: mikeski at September 26, 2026 10:02 PM (VHUov)

11
Ya'll will have a great time. I am so glad Hadrian is going.

He rocks!!

Posted by: four seasons at September 26, 2026 10:02 PM (/QHx4)

12 Good evening good people.

Posted by: Tonypete at September 26, 2026 10:02 PM (ktgTW)

13 I think I was sitting next to the critical thinking/drinking guy the other night. That guy can concoct a lovely....drink?
Hi Krazy Kats!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at September 26, 2026 10:03 PM (jCKWs)

14 20 days until the 11th TX MoMee.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket at September 26, 2026 10:00 PM (+fdRY)

I've heard good things about that annual shindig

Posted by: Doof at September 26, 2026 10:03 PM (QMAsf)

15 Drink of the Night:
Sorry, Samauri bartender. I just want a beer!

Good even', y'all. Autumn has certainly started here in N.E. Okla. The best part of Autumn.

Posted by: mindful webworker - pride goes before the fall, fall goes before the Winter at September 26, 2026 10:03 PM (xRCm7)

16 Sat night greetings Horde!

Posted by: Zeera , Damn Right I voted for all of this! at September 26, 2026 10:03 PM (K7v1x)

17 *shaking the rime of the ancient mariner outta my shoes*

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero 43) at September 26, 2026 10:04 PM (wpRMV)

18 It's been hotter than hell here for weeks - tonight it's getting down into the 40s.

What!?

Posted by: Tonypete at September 26, 2026 10:04 PM (ktgTW)

19 Ya'll will have a great time. I am so glad Hadrian is going.

He rocks!!

----------

Yeah yeah. Everyone thinks Hadrian is so great.

*sulks*

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero 43) at September 26, 2026 10:05 PM (wpRMV)

20 20 days until the 11th TX MoMee.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket at September 26, 2026 10:00 PM (+fdRY)

Evening, Helena, and to our gracious hosts, too. Booked my flight to DFW today. Still in need of hotel room. Did book a rental car.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026 10:05 PM (peOdB)

21 Spawn had her first shooting competition of the season today. It was a long hot day and very dusty at the range. I'm wiped out!

Posted by: lin-duh at September 26, 2026 10:05 PM (VCgbV)

22

Cicero,

You kinda rock, lol.

Posted by: four seasons at September 26, 2026 10:06 PM (/QHx4)

23 Club ONT Department of Inappropriate Whizzing

You're supposed to do that in the huddle.

Posted by: Jack "Hacksaw" Reynolds at September 26, 2026 10:06 PM (1Ff7Z)

24 9 Rex, where are those two Utah highways? Anywhere near St. George?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:02 PM
***
UT-9 goes through and east from Zion National Park.
UT-12 is in Bryce and Escalante.
Both are east of St. George. Google maps says Zion is about an hour away and Bryce is about 2 hours away.

Posted by: TRex - park ranger dino at September 26, 2026 10:07 PM (XfIK1)

25 Samurai bartender is much too theatrical. And deficient in the chesticle department, too.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026 10:07 PM (peOdB)

26 The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Good joke, but "funeral van?" Hearse would have better served the punch line, methinks..

Posted by: Joe Kidd at September 26, 2026 10:09 PM (08OqX)

27 Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 26, 2026 10:09 PM (zZu0s)

28

Rock or pebbles?

Posted by: four seasons at September 26, 2026 10:09 PM (/QHx4)

29 Oh. Lord.

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 26, 2026 10:09 PM (yEz+x)

30 Sigh... Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?

Posted by: pookysgirl, trying to be patient at September 26, 2026 10:09 PM (Wt5PA)

31 Drink of the Night:
Sorry, Samauri bartender. I just want a beer!

Posted by: mindful webworker - pride goes before the fall, fall goes before the Winter at September 26, 2026 10:03 PM (xRCm7)

Beer? Oh, you want the Taliban bartender. He'll cut off the head for you.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:10 PM (1Ff7Z)

32 Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?
Posted by: pookysgirl

...

Posted by: Larry Beria at September 26, 2026 10:10 PM (88C+u)

33 Sunny Hostin: “As a black woman in the United States…I’m criticized constantly, and my average has to be excellent.”

-
The way I've got you scored, you haven't even achieved mediocrity.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Where's My Cookie? at September 26, 2026 10:10 PM (ndZc7)

34 But does he share the cookies?

Posted by: She Hobbit at September 26, 2026 10:10 PM (ftFVW)

35 Nice vulgar display by that Texas player in front of PDT. Later in the game a Texas player made a touchdown. His celebrated by smelling his b*lls and pretending to faint. Again, in front of the president. Nice team you got there Texas.

Posted by: Tuna at September 26, 2026 10:10 PM (lJ0H4)

36 Club ONT Lunchroom Refrigerator Update

How to know an autist's lunch...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at September 26, 2026 10:11 PM (l3cgK)

37
pookysgirl,

Lots of luck.

Been there done that.

Posted by: four seasons at September 26, 2026 10:11 PM (/QHx4)

38
Good joke, but "funeral van?" Hearse would have better served the punch line, methinks..
Posted by: Joe Kidd

Maybe it's from some Euro weinie country?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 26, 2026 10:11 PM (Cqx++)

39 “Unsportsmanlike conduct, Number 1, simulating using the restroom." 😂😂

Glad he didn't call it on number 2...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at September 26, 2026 10:11 PM (08OqX)

40 TIL "rice" is a mass noun and not a count noun.
Posted by: mikeski at September 26, 2026 10:02 PM (VHUov)

Would the singular be rouse (like mouse / mice) or rie (like die / dice)?

Posted by: Doof at September 26, 2026 10:12 PM (QMAsf)

41 Hiya nurse🙃!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at September 26, 2026 10:12 PM (jCKWs)

42 Im sure it's all Trump's fault somehow.

You KNOW it will be.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 26, 2026 10:12 PM (zZu0s)

43 Drink of the Night:
Sorry, Samauri bartender. I just want a beer!
Posted by: mindful webworker

* places beer on the back edge of bar *

* steps back *

* deep, calming breath *

* iaijutsu slice removes cap without touching bottle *

* catches flying bottle cap on flat of blade *

* flips it into trash *

* sheathes katana *

* pushes beer across bar *

* bows *

Posted by: Samurai bartender at September 26, 2026 10:12 PM (VHUov)

44 30 Sigh... Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?

Posted by: pookysgirl, trying to be patient at September 26, 2026 10:09 PM
***
Caution - they're known to congregate together and travel in packs. This only magnifies the blast radius.

Posted by: TRex - duck and cover dino at September 26, 2026 10:12 PM (XfIK1)

45 35 Nice vulgar display by that Texas player in front of PDT. Later in the game a Texas player made a touchdown. His celebrated by smelling his b*lls and pretending to faint. Again, in front of the president. Nice team you got there Texas.
Posted by: Tuna

I doubt the President even came in there minds while doing that. Just general narcissism, for clicks and viral moments.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at September 26, 2026 10:13 PM (PGK1w)

46 This is the part of the recent state dinner for Chairman Xi at the White House they didn't want you to see:

https://tinyurl.com/7n5a9kyy

Posted by: Don Black at September 26, 2026 10:13 PM (ZxPkt)

47 44 30 Sigh... Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?

Posted by: pookysgirl, trying to be patient at September 26, 2026 10:09 PM
***
Caution - they're known to congregate together and travel in packs. This only magnifies the blast radius.
Posted by: TRex - duck and cover dino at September 26, 2026 10:12 PM (XfIK1)

Do not assume that older members of the species are less dangerous or emotional- far from it. They become quite canny and devious as they grow older.

Caution!

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 26, 2026 10:14 PM (zZu0s)

48 * places beer on the back edge of bar *

* steps back *

* deep, calming breath *

* iaijutsu slice removes cap without touching bottle *

* catches flying bottle cap on flat of blade *

* flips it into trash *

* sheathes katana *

* pushes beer across bar *

* bows *
Posted by: Samurai bartender at September 26, 2026 10:12 PM (VHUov)

-----------

*still waiting for sliced onion volcano*

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 26, 2026 10:14 PM (wpRMV)

49 Oh, by the way....hi D2s!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at September 26, 2026 10:15 PM (jCKWs)

50 No, oxymoron is not an Ace of Spades term.
-
How about "Polymoronity"?

Posted by: Methos, inauthentic X-bot account at September 26, 2026 10:15 PM (vSvIl)

51 I doubt the President even came in there minds while doing that. Just general narcissism, for clicks and viral moments.
Posted by: Puddleglum at work at September 26, 2026 10:13 PM (PGK1w)

Team captain should have ejected both players from the game.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026 10:15 PM (peOdB)

52

I don't think my digital kitchen scale measures in rice.

Or does it....

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 26, 2026 10:16 PM (Cqx++)

53 That's nice, but how much is the drink without the show, buddy?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 26, 2026 10:16 PM (zZu0s)

54 Both are east of St. George. Google maps says Zion is about an hour away and Bryce is about 2 hours away.
Posted by: TRex - park ranger dino at September 26, 2026 10:07 PM (XfIK1)

Thanks, next time we're around there, we might check them out.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:16 PM (1Ff7Z)

55 Two student leaders at Appalachian State University alerted police after spotting an anonymous social media post threatening a mass shooting at a campus screening of “We Will Dance Again,” a documentary about the massacre of Israeli music festival-goers on October 7.

Evelyn Annette Summers, who is in her early 20s, was arrested March 24 and charged with one felony count of communicating a threat of mass violence on educational property, according to North Carolina court records.

-
AWFLs being awful.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Where's My Cookie? at September 26, 2026 10:16 PM (ndZc7)

56 {{{Nurse!Marie!}}} Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:16 PM (BJzO2)

57 Good evening morons и слава Двоим!

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:16 PM (RIvkX)

58 Oh, by the way....hi D2s!
Posted by: COMountainMarie at September 26, 2026 10:15 PM (jCKWs)

Howdy COMM!

Posted by: Doof at September 26, 2026 10:16 PM (QMAsf)

59 49 Oh, by the way....hi D2s!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at September 26, 2026 10:15 PM
***
Howdy COMM!

Posted by: TRex - counting rice dino at September 26, 2026 10:17 PM (XfIK1)

60 >>Sigh... Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?

Don't worry, most girls grow our of it by the time they are out of 100.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 26, 2026 10:17 PM (viF8m)

61 Yay, Club ONT! Thanks Disco and Dino!

That is some barkeeper's showmanship. I especially liked the squared off ice cube.

Great Saturday Night joke too!

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at September 26, 2026 10:17 PM (D/6p1)

62 Team captain should have ejected both players from the game.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

The player who pretended to pee on the field is one of the team captains.

Posted by: Tuna at September 26, 2026 10:18 PM (lJ0H4)

63 This is the part of the recent state dinner for Chairman Xi at the White House they didn't want you to see:

https://tinyurl.com/7n5a9kyy
Posted by: Don Black at September 26, 2026 10:13 PM (ZxPkt)

LOL!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026 10:18 PM (peOdB)

64 52

I don't think my digital kitchen scale measures in rice.

Or does it....

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 26, 2026 10:16 PM (Cqx++)

My son's rice cooker does...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at September 26, 2026 10:18 PM (l3cgK)

65 Caution - they're known to congregate together and travel in packs. This only magnifies the blast radius.

Posted by: TRex - duck and cover dino at September 26, 2026 10:12 PM (XfIK1)

This one's a loner, and I really don't want her to be socially stunted, but it looks like I have no choice. I don't need her to be an extrovert, just someone who doesn't retreat into a book when waiting with her classmates for five minutes.

Posted by: pookysgirl, trying to be patient at September 26, 2026 10:19 PM (Wt5PA)

66
Lol Jack,

Our daughter is in her 40's and is still *ucked up.

Posted by: four seasons at September 26, 2026 10:19 PM (/QHx4)

67 30 Sigh... Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?

Posted by: pookysgirl, trying to be patient at September 26, 2026 10:09 PM
***
Caution - they're known to congregate together and travel in packs. This only magnifies the blast radius.
Posted by: TRex - duck and cover dino at September 26, 2026 10:12 PM (XfIK1)
----
Animaniacs had a character like that--Katie Ka-Boom. She was 16, not 13, but I think the principle still holds.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 26, 2026 10:19 PM (FZ29D)

68 17 *shaking the rime of the ancient mariner outta my shoes*

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero 43) at September 26, 2026 10:04 PM
***
Sorry. Mandatory Maiden is part of the Wednesday ONT program, not usually part of Club ONT. Check back on Wednesday.

Posted by: TRex - friend of eddie dino at September 26, 2026 10:19 PM (XfIK1)

69 My son's rice cooker does...
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

Gee, how much time does she waste counting?

Posted by: She Hobbit at September 26, 2026 10:19 PM (ftFVW)

70
communicating a threat of mass violence on educational property

Is "educational property" something special?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 26, 2026 10:20 PM (Cqx++)

71 The player who pretended to pee on the field is one of the team captains.
Posted by: Tuna at September 26, 2026 10:18 PM (lJ0H4)

Then the coach should eject him from the game, and rescind his position as captain.

Or kick him so hard in the balls that he has to reach down his own throat to jerk off.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026 10:20 PM (peOdB)

72 Top 10 Comments are hysterical you morons are a witty bunch.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:20 PM (RIvkX)

73 17 year old girls can be...unpredictable.

Posted by: lin-duh at September 26, 2026 10:21 PM (VCgbV)

74 69 My son's rice cooker does...
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

Gee, how much time does she waste counting?

Posted by: She Hobbit at September 26, 2026 10:19 PM (ftFVW)

My wife has some cookbooks from Hong Kong that measures in catties...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at September 26, 2026 10:21 PM (l3cgK)

75 I want that bartender at my Christmas parties.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads

Who, Doof's apprentice? That guy?

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at September 26, 2026 10:21 PM (NnhvP)

76 Evelyn Annette Summers, who is in her early 20s, was arrested March 24 and charged with one felony count of communicating a threat of mass violence on educational property, according to North Carolina court records.

-
AWFLs being awful.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Where's My Cookie? at September 26, 2026 10:16 PM (ndZc7)

Why bother arresting them? Maybe it's about time that people start getting the crap beaten out of them instead. Arrest and release is a badge of honor for these people. A couple of broken arms or ribs might put a damper on their ardor for doing such things.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:21 PM (1Ff7Z)

77 Does that meaning using school property to communicate the threat, doing it on school property or the threat was going to be on school property?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 26, 2026 10:21 PM (zZu0s)

78 74 69 My son's rice cooker does...
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

Gee, how much time does she waste counting?

Posted by: She Hobbit at September 26, 2026 10:19 PM (ftFVW)

My wife has some cookbooks from Hong Kong that measures in catties...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at September 26, 2026 10:21 PM (l3cgK)

Insert Chinese Restaurant Cat joke here...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at September 26, 2026 10:22 PM (l3cgK)

79 Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?
Posted by: pookysgirl, trying to be patient at September 26, 2026 10:09 PM (Wt5PA)
=====

A 14 year old girl.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:22 PM (RIvkX)

80
My wife has some cookbooks from Hong Kong that measures in catties...
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

The DO eat cats!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 26, 2026 10:22 PM (Cqx++)

81 Why bother arresting them? Maybe it's about time that people start getting the crap beaten out of them instead. Arrest and release is a badge of honor for these people. A couple of broken arms or ribs might put a damper on their ardor for doing such things.

----------

Societal disapprobation emphatically expressed with brass knuckles.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 26, 2026 10:23 PM (wpRMV)

82 Animaniacs had a character like that--Katie Ka-Boom. She was 16, not 13, but I think the principle still holds.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

An anime running this past season, Kaiju Girl Caramelise, did something like that, too. About a girl who would start to turn literally monstrous when she got emotional.

Attention from her crush turned her into Godzilla.

Posted by: mikeski at September 26, 2026 10:23 PM (VHUov)

83 My son's rice cooker does...
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

Gee, how much time does she waste counting?
Posted by: She Hobbit at September 26, 2026 10:19 PM (ftFVW)

Damn, this is a good comment. Your eyes glide over it at first as nothing special, then on replay, you catch the subtle nuances. Well played. *golfclap*

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 26, 2026 10:23 PM (zZu0s)

84 Does that meaning using school property to communicate the threat, doing it on school property or the threat was going to be on school property?
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Doesn't matter... property is a vestige of the patriarchy REEEEEEEE!

Posted by: She Hobbit at September 26, 2026 10:23 PM (ftFVW)

85 Caution - they're known to congregate together and travel in packs. This only magnifies the blast radius.
Posted by: TRex - duck and cover dino

When teenage girls congregate....Half the collective I.Q. When teenage boys congregate...Half the collective I.Q. by EACH boy,

Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:23 PM (BJzO2)

86 Animaniacs had a character like that--Katie Ka-Boom. She was 16, not 13, but I think the principle still holds.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 26, 2026 10:19 PM
***
Always sympathized with Buttons. Poor dog.

Posted by: TRex - OK lady! dino at September 26, 2026 10:23 PM (XfIK1)

87 When teenage girls congregate....Half the collective I.Q. When teenage boys congregate...Half the collective I.Q. by EACH boy,

Posted by: Some Rat

So true. LOL

Posted by: Tuna at September 26, 2026 10:24 PM (lJ0H4)

88 87 When teenage girls congregate....Half the collective I.Q. When teenage boys congregate...Half the collective I.Q. by EACH boy,

Posted by: Some Rat

So true. LOL

Posted by: Tuna at September 26, 2026 10:24 PM (lJ0H4)

Alcohol intensifies the stupidity. Hey, watch this!

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at September 26, 2026 10:25 PM (l3cgK)

89 Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?
Posted by: pookysgirl

Just check your memory!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at September 26, 2026 10:25 PM (NnhvP)

90 >>Lol Jack,

>>Our daughter is in her 40's and is still *ucked up.

You're all pretty much nuts. But then so are we.

It's all about which nuts fits with yours

Posted by: JackStraw at September 26, 2026 10:26 PM (viF8m)

91 Dang it.

I went into my bedroom and saw all four of my kitties chilling out.

Naturally, I went to grab my phone so I could snap a picture and when I got back. Allie jumped off the bed before I could get a good pic.

*sigh*

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 26, 2026 10:26 PM (FZ29D)

92 Societal disapprobation emphatically expressed with brass knuckles.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 26, 2026 10:23 PM (wpRMV)

Knucks, blackjacks, lead pipes, all would be appropriate persuaders.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:26 PM (1Ff7Z)

93 *looks at COTW*
*kicks dirt*
I will have to do better.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10:27 PM (2WIwB)

94 When teenage girls congregate....Half the collective I.Q. When teenage boys congregate...Half the collective I.Q. by EACH boy,

Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:23 PM (BJzO2)
=====

I've done a number of incredibly stupid things on my own.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:27 PM (RIvkX)

95 TRex - OK lady! dino

Uh, somethin' you ain't tellin' us, Rex?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:28 PM (1Ff7Z)

96 Naturally, I went to grab my phone so I could snap a picture and when I got back. Allie jumped off the bed before I could get a good pic.

*sigh*
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

She knew you were getting your phone.

Posted by: Tuna at September 26, 2026 10:28 PM (lJ0H4)

97 *looks at COTW*
*kicks dirt*
I will have to do better.
Posted by: Diogenes

Have you considered a large cash bribe?

Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:28 PM (BJzO2)

98 COMM!

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 26, 2026 10:28 PM (yEz+x)

99 *looks at COTW*
*kicks dirt*
I will have to do better.
Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10:27 PM (2WIwB)

Eh. Its all about wit and timing. And whether or not Doof and Trex are paying attention.

Lol. My phone tried to autocorrect 'wit'. Story of my life.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 26, 2026 10:28 PM (zZu0s)

100
Our daughter lives 4 hours from us. We live four blocks from our four grandchildren. Screwed up daughter has not met the grandchildren. She refuses to come here because I might talk about Trump.

Her loss.

Posted by: four seasons at September 26, 2026 10:29 PM (/QHx4)

101 So. Totally off topic...
A half mile down the road from me today, an accident happened. As I drove by, it didn't appear to look like much, so I continued on my way. Coming back home to come up my mountain, the road was closed. I had to drive 35+ miles further to try and get home. Closed up there as well. It took me 3 hours to get home, that usually takes 40 minutes. I'm very much concerned that there was a death, just down the road from me. Hurts my heart. Many prayers for whoever this happened to.🙏🙏🙏

Posted by: COMountainMarie at September 26, 2026 10:29 PM (jCKWs)

102 Dang it.

I went into my bedroom and saw all four of my kitties chilling out.

***

Been a really long time since I saw four pussies in my bedroom.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10:30 PM (2WIwB)

103 I've done a number of incredibly stupid things on my own.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:27 PM (RIvkX)

If you wuz Linus Van Pelt, I'd say, "like waiting for the Great Pumpkin every Halloween?"

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:31 PM (1Ff7Z)

104 Animaniacs had a character like that--Katie Ka-Boom. She was 16, not 13, but I think the principle still holds.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 26, 2026 10:19 PM
***
Always sympathized with Buttons. Poor dog.
Posted by: TRex - OK lady! dino at September 26, 2026 10:23 PM (XfIK1)

Friend of mine drew Yakko. He even directed a couple of episodes. He illustrated my 12 Days of MAGA, now available in paperback on Amazon..

Posted by: Joe Kidd at September 26, 2026 10:31 PM (08OqX)

105
Thanks, next time we're around there, we might check them out.
Posted by: OrangeEnt

Bryce is better and the drive up into the mountains past Escalante is beautiful.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at September 26, 2026 10:32 PM (NnhvP)

106 GO COUGS!

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 26, 2026 10:32 PM (yEz+x)

107 I've done a number of incredibly stupid things on my own.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

Haven't we all.

Posted by: Tuna at September 26, 2026 10:32 PM (lJ0H4)

108 GO COUGS!

While I love the sentiment, this is a brutal watch. Just no depth.

Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:33 PM (BJzO2)

109 Been a really long time since I saw four pussies in my bedroom.
Posted by: Diogenes

Hello, humble brag.

Posted by: She Hobbit at September 26, 2026 10:33 PM (ftFVW)

110 Eh. Its all about wit and timing. And whether or not Doof and Trex are paying attention.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 26, 2026 10:28 PM (zZu0s)

We're always paying attention!

Posted by: Doof at September 26, 2026 10:34 PM (QMAsf)

111 Sigh... Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?
Posted by: pookysgirl

I have 5 sisters and have experienced aunts, Grammies, my Mom and the Dear Mrs. I thought I knew all about girls of all ages.

Of my 7 children, only one is of the female persuasion and she joined in the fam at 13.

Good God! She terrified all of us except for Dear Wife. Epic battles - the boys would come to me with wide-eyed fear and exclaim - "We gotta get the hell out of here!! Mom's gonna kill Mary!!"

Posted by: Tonypete at September 26, 2026 10:34 PM (ktgTW)

112 >>Haven't we all.

You have no idea.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 26, 2026 10:34 PM (viF8m)

113 Bryce is better and the drive up into the mountains past Escalante is beautiful.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at September 26, 2026 10:32 PM (NnhvP)

Picked up Kid Prime this summer in SG and drove to far away Ioway, going past Zion up to SLC. Didn't see Escalante directions. Wouldn't mind going there, but Kid Secundus and asawa ko never have the same time off during school and probably too hot in summer.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:35 PM (1Ff7Z)

114 >I've done a number of incredibly stupid things on my own.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

Haven't we all.

Posted by: Tuna
----

My life is a multi-volume cautionary tale

Posted by: Don Black at September 26, 2026 10:35 PM (ZxPkt)

115 GO COUGS!
Posted by: nurse ratched at September 26, 2026 10:32 PM (yEz+x)

In case it hasn't been pointed out, Nurse is a woman with incredible intellect, courage and beauty.
Go Cougs indeed!

Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10:35 PM (2WIwB)

116 Some Rat! Holy cow!
How wonderful to see you! Never hesitate to call again my friend. So much love to you💕💕!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at September 26, 2026 10:36 PM (jCKWs)

117 If you wuz Linus Van Pelt, I'd say, "like waiting for the Great Pumpkin every Halloween?"
Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:31 PM (1Ff7Z)
=====
Naah. That's sincere not stupid.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:36 PM (RIvkX)

118 Good God! She terrified all of us except for Dear Wife. Epic battles - the boys would come to me with wide-eyed fear and exclaim - "We gotta get the hell out of here!! Mom's gonna kill Mary!!"
Posted by: Tonypete

Heh! My Sainted Mother and dear sister would go at it hammer and tongs, dad always had something to do in the garage at those times.

Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:37 PM (BJzO2)

119 Nice team you got there Texas.

Yeah, remember that politician that got sh*t from Cornyn last week for saying something about the UT graduation? When does he get his apology? I would be embarrassed for Texas but Austin doesn't really count.

Posted by: Oddbob at September 26, 2026 10:37 PM (vTZFs)

120 Friend of mine drew Yakko. He even directed a couple of episodes.

Posted by: Joe Kidd at September 26, 2026 10:31 PM
***
Wow!!

Posted by: TRex - animated dino at September 26, 2026 10:38 PM (XfIK1)

121 In case it hasn't been pointed out, Nurse is a woman with incredible intellect, courage and beauty.
Go Cougs indeed!
Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10:35 PM (2WIwB)

Does she always chant Huck the Fuskies during games?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:38 PM (1Ff7Z)

122 Good evening! I am grateful my Ole Miss autocorrect could tee up a top comment!

Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:39 PM (ZdaMQ)

123 Some Rat! Holy cow!
How wonderful to see you! Never hesitate to call again my friend. So much love to you💕💕!
Posted by: COMountainMarie

How very kind of you! Will make a point of calling soon!

Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:39 PM (BJzO2)

124 Waiting for Godot or the Great Pumpkin. Same disappointing result.

Posted by: Lowered Expectations at September 26, 2026 10:39 PM (Fn+3X)

125 And, of course, GO DAWGS!

Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:40 PM (ZdaMQ)

126 The thug behavior from the Texas team will be welcomed and rewarded in the NFL. The more crass and transgressive, the better.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:40 PM (RIvkX)

127 Does she always chant Huck the Fuskies during games?
Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 26, 2026 10:38 PM (1Ff7Z)

Doubtful, if sober, but given four or five cosmos anything is possible.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10:40 PM (2WIwB)

128 121 In case it hasn't been pointed out, Nurse is a woman

Those exist?

Posted by: Ketanji Jackson at September 26, 2026 10:40 PM (88C+u)

129 Good evening, Horde!

I swear I last saw that joke saying 'hearse' not 'van'.

The museum was funny.

Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?
Posted by: pookysgirl

A 17-year-old girl?

This one's a loner, and I really don't want her to be socially stunted, but it looks like I have no choice. I don't need her to be an extrovert, just someone who doesn't retreat into a book when waiting with her classmates for five minutes.
Posted by: pookysgirl, trying to be patient

I resemble that remark, just from the other gender perspective....

Job hunt update:
Found a legit nibble from a recruiter (as in, replying to my application) in my spam folder this morning. So hopefully will be a screening call Monday/Tuesday for that position.

Continued prayer for M's grandmother for healing and recovery, please, and for M who has to take care of her.

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click!) at September 26, 2026 10:41 PM (aJQbY)

130 I played in the dirt today. Well not played, I was digging around the hydrant that my idiot horse bent because he managed to catch his halter on the head and then panicked. I now know that I have at least a 5 foot bury depth model. I think it is 5ft and not 6ft but I have to dig some more to be certain. Part of me is thinking I could just flip a coin and if I'm wrong the hydrant will just be lower or higher to the ground, but I do want to get it dug out enough to be easy to replace.

And I should replace 2 to 3 hydrants. I have another one with a cracked head. I bought a replacement head but am not confident of getting the old cracked head off without messing up the hydrant. And another hyrdrant leaks. Ah the joys of country life.

Posted by: PaleRider at September 26, 2026 10:42 PM (PV+Zw)

131 Good evening! I am grateful my Ole Miss autocorrect could tee up a top comment!
Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:39 PM (ZdaMQ)

Better than the one that killed you

Posted by: Doof at September 26, 2026 10:43 PM (QMAsf)

132 And, of course, GO DAWGS!
Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:40 PM (ZdaMQ)

Pipes...
Pipes...
Pipes...
So much hope....and now so much despair.
We of the Pullman persuasion are dismayed.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10:43 PM (2WIwB)

133 The thug behavior from the Texas team will be welcomed and rewarded in the NFL. The more crass and transgressive, the better.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:40 PM (RIvkX)

Was this a college ball game, or NFL?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026 10:43 PM (peOdB)

134 I just watched the Bananas play the Texas Tailgaters at the Rangers stadium to a full house. Nobody behaved like a thug or cretin.

Posted by: Only Sport I Watch (well, maybe the 3rd period in the NHL playoffs) at September 26, 2026 10:43 PM (Fn+3X)

135 Sigh... Is there any creature on Earth that's as tempestuous as a 13-year-old girl?
Posted by: pookysgirl

When my oldest turned 13, and I had hit the end of my rope with her, I called my mama crying asking when this would get better. She replied she thought 32 was a good age.

Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:44 PM (ZdaMQ)

136 Today my h.s. g.f called to complain 20 minutes about the first girl I ever kissed.

So don't ask me about girls.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:45 PM (RIvkX)

137 132 And, of course, GO DAWGS!
Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:40 PM (ZdaMQ)

Pipes...
Pipes...
Pipes...
So much hope....and now so much despair.
We of the Pullman persuasion are dismayed.
Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10

I am so sorry, I can’t really hear you because there are a lot of triple woofs happening.

Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:46 PM (ZdaMQ)

138 Was this a college ball game, or NFL?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

College. TX vs TN. PDT was there.

Posted by: Tuna at September 26, 2026 10:47 PM (lJ0H4)

139 Posted by: TRex - animated dino at September 26, 2026 10:38 PM (XfIK1)

His name is Lenord Robinson. Collaborating with him was like working with Mozart:

"I'm thinking of a scene where Biden falls down a flight of steps"

Lenord draws for maybe 30 seconds, then shows me the page - hilarity ensues..

Posted by: Joe Kidd at September 26, 2026 10:47 PM (08OqX)

140 6 20 days until the 11th TX MoMee.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket at September 26, 2026 10:00 PM (+fdRY)

TX MoMe XI.

FiFY

: )

Posted by: Cow Demon at September 26, 2026 10:48 PM (XUHiS)

141 I just watched the Bananas play the Texas Tailgaters at the Rangers stadium to a full house. Nobody behaved like a thug or cretin.
Posted by: Only Sport I Watch (well, maybe the 3rd period in the NHL playoffs)

Time to ban this semi-pro bullshit. Intermural? Fine, you're here to get an education. The rest is window dressing.

Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:48 PM (BJzO2)

142 Thanks, Disco & Dino, for Club ONT!

Wowza, Samurai Bartender puts on quite a show. Sure, I did some bartending in Japan but I... uh... I never learned *all that*!

Sorry, horde. I gots no gimmicks.

Posted by: JQ at September 26, 2026 10:48 PM (rdVOm)

143 133 The thug behavior from the Texas team will be welcomed and rewarded in the NFL. The more crass and transgressive, the better.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:40 PM (RIvkX)

Was this a college ball game, or NFL?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026

College. It was classy behavior.🙄 They are getting raked across the coals for it. Prob feels like thousands of southern mamas grabbing his ear and pulling him off the field.

Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:49 PM (ZdaMQ)

144 35 Nice vulgar display by that Texas player in front of PDT. Later in the game a Texas player made a touchdown. His celebrated by smelling his b*lls and pretending to faint. Again, in front of the president. Nice team you got there Texas.
Posted by: Tuna at September 26, 2026 10:10 PM (lJ0H4)

UT Austin. Just sayin.

Posted by: Cow Demon at September 26, 2026 10:49 PM (XUHiS)

145 ...Half the collective I.Q. by EACH boy,

Posted by: Some Rat

Also applies to any group of bicycle riders over one.

Posted by: Tonypete at September 26, 2026 10:49 PM (ktgTW)

146 College. TX vs TN. PDT was there.
Posted by: Tuna at September 26, 2026 10:47 PM (lJ0H4)

Sounds like the MAGA students at that school need to visit this shitheel, and administer a tuneup.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026 10:49 PM (peOdB)

147 In case it hasn't been pointed out, Nurse is a woman

Those exist?
Posted by: Ketanji Jackson at September 26, 2026 10:40 PM (88C+u)

Indeed.
I was able to watch her shooting at the range. Accurate and a really nice as...errr...coquettish smile after drilling the target.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10:50 PM (2WIwB)

148 Thanks, Disco & Dino, for Club ONT!

Wowza, Samurai Bartender puts on quite a show. Sure, I did some bartending in Japan but I... uh... I never learned *all that*!

Sorry, horde. I gots no gimmicks.
Posted by: JQ

Thank you for that, I was remiss in my compliments to our hosts!

Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:51 PM (BJzO2)

149 131 Good evening! I am grateful my Ole Miss autocorrect could tee up a top comment!
Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:39 PM (ZdaMQ)

Better than the one that killed you
Posted by: Doof at September 26, 2026 10:43 PM

I wish it killed me again this week! It was rough sailing there for a bit.

Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:51 PM (ZdaMQ)

150 Finished, The Big Heat, with Glenn Ford and attractive Gloria Grahame, thanks polynikes.
Many recognizable bit players along the way. - The cops had revolvers, the, homage to WWII vets, had 45s and the villain, Lee Marvin had a Luger.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 26, 2026 10:51 PM (VPNgR)

151 You guys think you got it bad.
I spent two or three minutes trying to figure out why nurse was playing the piano on her phone, drunk.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 26, 2026 10:52 PM (6ydKt)

152 How do you direct a cartoon character? What is his motivation?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 26, 2026 10:52 PM (Cqx++)

153 Thanks, Disco & Dino, for Club ONT!

Wowza, Samurai Bartender puts on quite a show. Sure, I did some bartending in Japan but I... uh... I never learned *all that*!

Sorry, horde. I gots no gimmicks.
Posted by: JQ

Thank you for that, I was remiss in my compliments to our hosts!
Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:51 PM (BJzO2)

Howdy to you both!

Posted by: Doof at September 26, 2026 10:52 PM (QMAsf)

154 Sounds like the MAGA students at that school need to visit this shitheel, and administer a tuneup.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026 10:49 PM (peOdB)

I’ll have them arrested, I should have YOU arrested.

With no liberty and Justice for some.

Posted by: Jose Garza Travis County DA at September 26, 2026 10:54 PM (XUHiS)

155
Finished, The Big Heat, with Glenn Ford and attractive Gloria Grahame, thanks polynikes

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _

Want some coffee?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 26, 2026 10:54 PM (Cqx++)

156 I am so sorry, I can’t really hear you because there are a lot of triple woofs happening.
Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:46 PM (ZdaMQ)

I find that a few fire hydrants work well to quiet the mutts.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10:54 PM (2WIwB)

157 I wish it killed me again this week! It was rough sailing there for a bit.
Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:51 PM (ZdaMQ)

Glad you're feeling better! You do realize no matter how sick you were, you weren't getting the night off tomorrow, right?

Posted by: Doof at September 26, 2026 10:54 PM (QMAsf)

158 Back at it…

Posted by: Cow Demon at September 26, 2026 10:54 PM (XUHiS)

159 Was this a college ball game, or NFL?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026 10:43 PM (peOdB)
====
College Texas v Tennessee

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:55 PM (RIvkX)

160 When I was a kid my family went on a road trip to Alabama and we visited Helen Keller's home. My sister and I were sitting in the back of the car making Helen Keller jokes so dad told us to knock it off and be on our best behavior. We did OK for a while until we got to the front yard and there was a tree with a huge dent in it about four feet off the ground.

Posted by: Norrin Radd, sojourner of the spaceways at September 26, 2026 10:55 PM (tRYqg)

161 39 “Unsportsmanlike conduct, Number 1, simulating using the restroom." 😂😂

Glad he didn't call it on number 2...
Posted by: Joe Kidd at September 26, 2026 10:11 PM (08OqX)
___________________________

Sadly, that wasn't even the worst one. Instapundit has the other one highlighted. But, here is the video on X.

https://tinyurl.com/2zzxafdy

Posted by: Orson at September 26, 2026 10:56 PM (dIske)

162 How do you direct a cartoon character? What is his motivation?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

Someone pointed out the reason Chuck Jones was so great was his ability to get the most out of his characters acting.

Posted by: Some Rat at September 26, 2026 10:56 PM (BJzO2)

163 Was this a college ball game, or NFL?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 26, 2026 10:43 PM (peOdB)
====
College Texas v Tennessee
Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 26, 2026 10:55 PM (RIvkX)

***

So...
NFL Triple A league.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 26, 2026 10:56 PM (2WIwB)

164 Tonight we went to Globe Life Stadium in Arlington to see the Texas Tailgaters play the Savannah Bananas! 😲😲😲

(And now, the story on how we snagged tickets: seeing the Savannah Bananas was a Bucket List item, but tickets are impossible to get. I took a chance and wrote their front office, explained my terminal diagnosis, and asked if they had an "adult" version of "Make A Wish" - I figured the answer would be "No", but I also figured it wouldn't hurt to just ask.

Well, they got back to me with 2 tickets to see the game! So Paul and I went tonight and had an absolute blast 😊♥️. A very nice thank you note will be headed their way tonight -)

We were easily some of the oldest fans there, but it didn't matter - it was really sweet to see so many young kids and families there, having a wonderful time. It was also nice to see the teams praying together before the game, to see fans proud to sing the National Anthem, and to see veterans honored by the entire crowd. We always seem to hear the worst about people on the news, so it was a refreshing reminder that most people are really nice.

The Texas Tailgaters won 3-0 tonight 🥳🎊

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at September 26, 2026 10:56 PM (24jjN)

165 . Hurts my heart. Many prayers for whoever this happened to.🙏🙏🙏

Posted by: COMountainMarie at September

That is hard, I am sorry.

Posted by: Piper at September 26, 2026 10:57 PM (ZdaMQ)

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