Quick Hits

Wesley Yang
@wesyang

It really is true that 9/11 is coming to be memorialized chiefly, if not solely, as an attack on Muslims

Transracial pioneer Rachel Dolezar is now a Certified Sex and Relationship Coach, surprising nobody.

Degenerate Kennedy layabout and clout-farmer Jack Schlossburg's "girlfriend" says he's cheating on her with 200+ women, which must mean he's running again for higher office. Gay Democrats always leak it that they're knee-deep in mish before a run.

Karol Markowicz
@karol
States are suing the Trump administration to allow people who can't sustain themselves to be able to get green cards and one of the (very bad) arguments is that reducing participation in food stamps is bad for local businesses. Make any of this make sense.

Communist-jihadist theater kid Zohran Mamdani gave a press conference with "Big Tish" James in which he announced that if you come after all of his millions of cousins illegally sucking up public assistance, you'll have to go through him first. That sounds easy. The gigantic sasquatch Tish James, less so.

By the way, he had a little giggle-party with Alexandria Donkey-Chompers while they were reading the names of the dead during the 9/11 memorial he desecrated.

Chuck Ross reports that Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed has promoted numerous race hoaxes to gin up hatred against the white Christian majority.

I know this stuns you to hear.

Abdul El-Sayed Promoted Infamous Hijab Hate Crime Hoax, Despite Warnings from Police

The Democrat has a long history of making unverified and false claims alleging anti-Muslim discrimination
Democratic Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed falsely claimed in a 2012 essay that an Iraqi refugee in California was brutally murdered in an anti-Muslim attack because she had the "courage to wear a Hijab." In truth, Shaima Alawadi's husband killed her in an act of domestic violence that he staged to look like a hate crime.
El-Sayed, in an article on March 28, 2012, equated Alawadi's killing with the shooting of Trayvon Martin, a black Florida teenager, as examples of the "racism, xenophobia, and hate" in American society against minorities.
"Trayvon and Shaima were both murdered in cold blood," asserted El-Sayed, because they fit "archetypes indicted by American society as foreign, dangerous, and evil."
Alawadi, a 32-year-old mother of five, died on March 21, 2012, after she was bludgeoned with a tire iron at her home in El Cajon, Calif. Police found a note at the scene of the crime that stated: "Go back to your country, you terrorist."
Though police cautioned early on against jumping to conclusions about the motive--specifically saying they were not at the point of calling the death a hate crime--El-Sayed and other left-wing pundits latched onto the theory that Alawadi was the victim of a hate crime.
According to El-Sayed's article in Mic, a liberal digital publication targeted at younger readers, Alawadi's killer targeted her because she had "the courage to wear a Hijab in a society where Muslims are openly vilified for the crimes of others."
But it's El-Sayed who vilified the wrong party for the crimes of another.
Alawadi's husband, Kassim Alhimidi, was arrested for his wife's murder after police uncovered incriminating text messages and evidence that Alawadi planned to divorce her husband and flee to Texas. Alhimidi, an Iraqi refugee who trained U.S. soldiers to fight in the Middle East, was convicted of murdering his wife in April 2014 and sentenced to 26 years in prison.
There is no record that El-Sayed has ever corrected his false claims about the murder.
The former CNN analyst has a history of making unverified or false claims about anti-Muslim discrimination.
El-Sayed published a CNN essay on Sept. 11, 2012, that claimed the health of Muslims and Arabs was "another victim of 9/11." In the piece, El-Sayed cited a California study that purportedly found a 34 percent spike in premature births for Muslim women after 9/11, which El-Sayed attributed to the "discrimination and marginalization" Muslim women faced after the terrorist attacks. But El-Sayed curiously omitted his own study that found no such increase, the Washington Free Beacon reported. El-Sayed wrote in his study that his "findings contrast with the only other published study that has assessed the relationship between mass trauma and birth outcomes of a specific group." El-Sayed further found that Muslim and Arab women had lower rates of premature births than black or white women.
His shaky claims in the 2012 essay were notable in that the previous year he had completed a doctorate in public health and would go on to work as an epidemiologist.
El-Sayed has continued to use the Islamophobia trope on the campaign trail.

Carnegie Mellon "professor" -- I'm sure she's a real academic standout -- has been suspended.

Not fired, just suspended.

For this absolute racist filth:

She then posted a video saying that the "white racist pedophiles" who objected to being told to die so she could dance on their graves would not win.

And so far, she's right. Of course.

"These f*cking racist white supremacist pedophile assh*les will not win."
- @CarnegieMellon Professor Uju Anya

She needs to lose her job. pic.twitter.com/xk657GQjBH
— Corey A. DeAngelis, school choice evangelist (@DeAngelisCorey) September 13, 2026

Carnegie Mellon University
@CarnegieMellon
Dr. Uju Anya is currently on voluntary professional leave from the university and is not teaching courses on our campus this academic year. We are deeply concerned by recent hostile and threatening social media posts by Dr. Anya and are reviewing this matter closely.

John Cornyn has said nothing about this, of course. However, he did attempt to blow up a Republican candidate for Railroad Comissioner for noticing that a very high percentage of UT students seem to be Indian and not Texan or American.

This is the Republican nominee for statewide office. Are other Republican elected officials going to condemn the intolerance and racism, or look the other way while it becomes normalized. This is how great political parties self-destruct. Sad. https://t.co/TO1dTXKd6G
— Senator John Cornyn (@JohnCornyn) September 13, 2026

Talarico, of course, jumped on this.

I condemn racism in all its forms, including James Talarico saying white men are America's top terror threat and that he prays to overcome his own 'whiteness,' whatever that means. Only one person in this race has a history of dividing Texans by race, and it’s James Talarico. I… https://t.co/24Tlp3Rd5U
— Attorney General Ken Paxton (@KenPaxtonTX) September 13, 2026

Talarico also opined that we're all basically kindergartners and so we should have kindergartner-level policies.

BREAKING: @DavisSchools says they’re aware of this video and are "addressing the matter.” They have not confirmed if the students will face any consequences. https://t.co/pNAM8SA0oP
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) September 14, 2026

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 06:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 In before that fag in the last post

Posted by: nckate at September 14, 2026 06:02 PM (enNUy)

2 Howdy Ace!

Posted by: Moonbeam at September 14, 2026 06:03 PM (Lzhdy)

3 The Democrat has a long history of making unverified and false claims alleging anti-Muslim discrimination
====

Of which Democrat is this not true?

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:03 PM (RIvkX)

4 Still on garbage humanoids, I see.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:03 PM (zZu0s)

5 Hola

Posted by: Thanatopsis at September 14, 2026 06:04 PM (hG5L0)

6 Uju Anya needs to be spanked.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:04 PM (Sco7b)

7 Hey you gotta feel for Ayanna, she lost 19 of her peeps on 9/11

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 06:04 PM (K32Fz)

8 In before that fag in the last post
Posted by: nckate at September 14, 2026 06:02 PM (enNUy)

But ace posted the thread...

*confused*

Oh! You mean someone 'else.'

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:04 PM (zZu0s)

9 Of which Democrat is this not true?
Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:03 PM (RIvkX)

Joe Lieberman, maybe. Maybe hoodie Pennsylvania Kuato.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:05 PM (zZu0s)

10 If they deport Omar can they take Pressley and the rest of the squad, too?

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at September 14, 2026 06:05 PM (hzuYO)

11
"hate us and want us dead" is in the running for Understatement of the Year.

they prove it every day, and the body count rises ...

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at September 14, 2026 06:05 PM (VyBeY)

12 Less popular baby names - I will start with “ Uju”.

Posted by: tubal at September 14, 2026 06:06 PM (Gqar8)

13 I've been watching tons of stoicism lectures where I can't control any of this, I can only control my reaction.

Ace always tests that real good. Especially the dancing bitches.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:06 PM (Sco7b)

14 Dr. Uju Anya...
----

A "Fundamantally non-serious" selection.

Posted by: Crusader at September 14, 2026 06:06 PM (Cjcf6)

15 9, lol Aetius!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at September 14, 2026 06:06 PM (VyBeY)

16 Miracle Max must be working overtime

@BNONews 3m
WATCH: U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell appears in public for the first time in 3 months

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 14, 2026 06:06 PM (HeG1i)

17 Talarico also opined that we're all basically kindergartners and so we should have kindergartner-level policies.

Great. So now the groomers will be bringing their gender unicorns and gay cp to our houses.

Posted by: Isn't streaming media bad enough? at September 14, 2026 06:07 PM (TbWk/)

18 Especially the dancing bitches.
-----

That's one of those types/deletes moments.

Posted by: Crusader at September 14, 2026 06:07 PM (Cjcf6)

19 Why do I care about Jack Schlossberg?

Why does anyone care about Jack Sclossberg.

ProTip: No One cares about Jack Schlossberg. No one. Be honest. You don't even know who Jack Schlossberg is.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:08 PM (RIvkX)

20 The two little asshole white girls dancing to a death in an obvious college stairwell.So incredibly happy I am well past the Dating Times.

Posted by: tubal at September 14, 2026 06:08 PM (Gqar8)

21 12 Less popular baby names - I will start with “ Uju”.
Posted by: tubal at September 14, 2026 06:06 PM (Gqar8

The big draw was that if her parents were calling her over and over, it would sound like they were uluating.

Probably works carnally too.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:08 PM (Sco7b)

22 I will be so glad when I never have to hear Abdul Mohammed El-Sayed's name again.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:09 PM (4NO2D)

23 Are any of the dancing bishes Mormon?

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:09 PM (2Drhq)

24 How can I ask myself anything if I'm dead? What a spaz.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 14, 2026 06:10 PM (Cqx++)

25 I think Mormons only swing, not dance.

Posted by: nckate at September 14, 2026 06:10 PM (enNUy)

26 20 The two little asshole white girls dancing to a death in an obvious college stairwell

There are four of them.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:10 PM (2Drhq)

27 In before that fag in the last post
Posted by: nckate at September 14, 2026 06:02 PM

Yes ... well .. hmm .. quite ..

That bastard!

*shifty eyes*

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:11 PM (4NO2D)

28 Dr. Uju Anya...
----

They misspelled affirmative action.

Posted by: polynikes at September 14, 2026 06:12 PM (KC5Lt)

29 Aryanna Pressley did the Norm MacDonald meme!!

x.com/libsoftiktok/status/2097072644113776956

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at September 14, 2026 06:12 PM (sAmhv)

30 Sit, Uju, sit.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:12 PM (2Drhq)

31
AP "... I am thinking about:

The Islamophobia, misinformation, and persecution of Muslim people"

What a coincidence -- I am thinking about that, too!

As in, "When do we get to start putting that program into action?"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 14, 2026 06:12 PM (tJ5Y1)

32 Wowsers~

@SenMcConnell
Today, I’ll cast my first Senate vote since I took a bad fall back in June. I’m really looking forward to being back on the Senate floor and seeing my colleagues.

My recovery has been a long and often frustrating process, and the lingering effects of childhood polio haven’t made it any easier. I’m still not quite back to 100%, but I’ve assured Leader Thune that, as I continue with physical therapy on the advice of my doctors, I will do my best to be present for tough votes when our Conference needs me.

Elaine and I are very grateful for all the continued well wishes from our fellow Kentuckians, and I’m glad to get back to more of business as usual on their behalf this month.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 14, 2026 06:12 PM (HeG1i)

33 How bored must you be as a teenage girl to spend time planning and rehearsing your TikTok trend video mocking the murder of an innocent family man who just liked to debate with people?

It’s quite disturbing how unaware these girls are that they are the villains in this scenario.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 06:13 PM (6ydKt)

34 >>>Alawadi, a 32-year-old mother of five, died on March 21, 2012, after she was bludgeoned with a tire iron at her home in El Cajon, Calif. Police found a note at the scene of the crime that stated: "Go back to your country, you terrorist."

Did Insomniac have an alibi?

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at September 14, 2026 06:13 PM (dK+Kv)

35 27 In before that fag in the last post
Posted by: nckate at September 14, 2026 06:02 PM

Yes ... well .. hmm .. quite ..

That bastard!

*shifty eyes*
Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:11 PM (4NO2D)

Yeah, disturbingly nonspecific.

Posted by: tubal at September 14, 2026 06:13 PM (Gqar8)

36 I think I'll go long on barbituates. Bitch you ates?

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at September 14, 2026 06:14 PM (wxsGM)

37 I will be so glad when I never have to hear Abdul Mohammed El-Sayed's name again.
Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:09 PM (4NO2D)
=====

This campaign will not be the last you hear of him. Unfortunately.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:14 PM (RIvkX)

38 Are any of the dancing bishes Mormon?
Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:09 PM (2Drhq)

Maybe if they're in that Mormon Ho-wives show on Hulu

Posted by: You'd think LDS would've shut it down at September 14, 2026 06:14 PM (TbWk/)

39
WATCH: U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell appears in public for the first time in 3 months
Posted by: weft cut-loop

He was only mostly dead.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 14, 2026 06:14 PM (tJ5Y1)

40 ... reducing participation in food stamps is bad for local businesses.

----------------

And reducing participation in murder, rape, and other crimes is bad for local lawyers ... so we can't have that.

I mean, who else can afford Hunter Biden's crack cocaine and literally shitty "artwork?"

Posted by: ShainS at September 14, 2026 06:15 PM (xHp2Q)

41 On that state's suing over not allowing dependent migrants, and how it would hurt the economy

- By economy, they mean teachers and social service workers. They mean government employees who vote for them and they represent

- they also mean Big Law, Big Rental, and Big retail (walmart, amazon, Frito Lays,...) who depend on that class

It has nothing to do with small businesses. Even with this bullshit they can't help but lie

Posted by: bob (moron inbobnitus) at September 14, 2026 06:15 PM (tK8kH)

42 The media tried to make the black woman found hanged a possible hate crime murder.

Of course they are now silent since they arrested a black man for the crime.

Posted by: polynikes at September 14, 2026 06:16 PM (KC5Lt)

43 James Talarico reverses stance on trans student-athletes, says he opposes trans athletes in girls’ sports “if it risks safety or fairness”

Democrats legitimately have no winning recourse here except to avoid the topic and they keep sticking their foot in their mouth and selling out one of their most stalwart voting blocs.

Honestly thats the best arguement now, anytime Republicans bring it up make them the weird ones for bringing it up then move on to the economy, power, and other number of problems the state is facing.

Democrats seem desperate to lose this election, much like ignoring left wing activists regarding Gaza in 2024. I’m more and more feeling like the Dems are in on it with the Republicans in tearing America apart.

"if it risks safety or fairness" Cool, so you support trans women and girls having the right to play sports since it's been proven time and time again that it doesn't risk safety or fairness.

He also said in the same interview that he supports a national ban on surgery for trans minors, which is already bad and gets worse when you also factor in that this also means a ban on blockers and hormones.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at September 14, 2026 06:16 PM (lebqq)

44 Who are those two dudes in the video with Uju Anya? Is that her polycule? Wouldn't surprise me.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 14, 2026 06:16 PM (FZ29D)

45 So, if I was black, grew my hair long and braided it, bought a pair of black framed glasses like Mr. Peabody's pet boy Sherman, I could get a job catering and fawning over a fat, racist black woman like a sidekick to a Bond Villain?

That's just a bit over the top....just a bit.

Posted by: Orson at September 14, 2026 06:16 PM (dIske)

46 Carnegie Mellon "professor" -- I'm sure she's a real academic standout -- has been suspended.

Not fired, just suspended.

Experts predict that as a result her students will experience disruptions in their studies that could improve their intelligence levels by as much as 15 percent.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 14, 2026 06:16 PM (guGkK)

47 Yeah, disturbingly nonspecific.
Posted by: tubal at September 14, 2026 06:13 PM (Gqar

=-===

The person knows that's all you need to know.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:16 PM (RIvkX)

48

A federal appeals court on Friday vacated the U.S. Department of Energy’s emergency order requiring the owners of a coal-fired power plant in Michigan to delay its planned retirement, saying the move usurped state authority over generating resources.

The suit was brought by Earthjustice, which represented the Sierra Club and Urban Core Collective. Also, the Michigan attorney general argued the case for Illinois, Michigan and Minnesota. Other petitioners included the Natural Resources Defense Council, Michigan Environmental Council, Environmental Defense Fund, Environmental Law and Policy Center, Vote Solar, the Ecology Center and the Union of Concerned Scientists.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 14, 2026 06:17 PM (Cqx++)

49 >>Of course they are now silent since they arrested a black man for the crime.

Remember the poor blind girl who tried to curb her Assistance Dog and nearly started a Race War?
I forget which college campus it was on...but, it's never actually racists. No matter how much they want it to be.

Posted by: garrett at September 14, 2026 06:17 PM (zRd05)

50 So, if I was black, grew my hair long and braided it, bought a pair of black framed glasses like Mr. Peabody's pet boy Sherman, I could get a job catering and fawning over a fat, racist black woman like a sidekick to a Bond Villain?

That's just a bit over the top....just a bit.

Posted by: Orson at September 14, 2026 06:16 PM (dIske)

If you are a little creative, maybe even a full Professorship.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at September 14, 2026 06:18 PM (dK+Kv)

51 James Talarico reverses stance on trans student-athletes, says he opposes trans athletes in girls’ sports “if it risks safety or fairness”

Huh. So, on a case-by-case basis then?

What could possibly go wrong?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 14, 2026 06:18 PM (guGkK)

52 A lot of people don't realise that Abdul El-Sayed strictly adheres to his religion by lying about non-Muslims. Koran not only allows lying but requires it to undermine the enemy, and we are the enemy. Sadly too many Democrats have no idea what is going on.

Posted by: Decaf at September 14, 2026 06:18 PM (ZNpJk)

53 @SenMcConnell
Today, I’ll cast my first Senate vote since I took a bad fall back in June. I’m really looking forward to being back on the Senate floor and seeing my colleagues.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 14, 2026 06:12 PM (Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 14, 2026 06:12 PM (HeG1i

The trough and grifting is like the Lazarus pit for politicians.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:18 PM (Sco7b)

54 "if it risks safety or fairness" Cool, so you support trans women and girls having the right to play sports since it's been proven time and time again that it doesn't risk safety or fairness.

The "Trust the Science" party.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:18 PM (2Drhq)

55 Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at September 14, 2026 06:16 PM (lebqq)
=====

I'm beginning to sense their realization that "we fvcked up."

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:18 PM (RIvkX)

56
So, I was wondering why Donkey Chompers was being so weirdly public about her breakup with that dickless ginger dude.

I've said since it happened that the Party is preparing her for a Presidential run at some point soon. They'll put her in the White House - she can win - but she's too retarded to do any Presidentin', and she'll need a day-to-day handler - an actual President.

So they'll arrange a marriage to some high-profile Party man who will control her career.

Now, I'm wondering if Zohran will have a nasty falling out with the ol' ball-and-chain soon, too.

It would be a good way to park that foreign swine in the White House. The retarded voters can vote for AOC, and the normal+ IQ Dems who might get nervous about the whole retarded person problem will understand they are actually voting for him.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at September 14, 2026 06:18 PM (BI5O2)

57 That Picture of Dr Uju Anya could be the cover for one of Stacy Abrahms Romance Novels.

Posted by: garrett at September 14, 2026 06:19 PM (zRd05)

58 WATCH: U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell appears in public for the first time in 3 months
Posted by: weft cut-loop

He was only mostly dead.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 14, 2026 06:14 PM (tJ5Y1)
----
I bet he shows up with a note from Miracle Max and a chocolate-coated miracle pill...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 14, 2026 06:19 PM (FZ29D)

59 A Lesbian with 200 partners?
Not buying that for a second.

Posted by: Skip at September 14, 2026 06:19 PM (Ia/+0)

60
Uju Anya, Uju, Uju
Uju Anya, Uju, Uju
Uju Anya, Uju, Uju
Uju Anya, Uju, Uju

I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 14, 2026 06:19 PM (tJ5Y1)

61 Talarico also opined that we're all basically kindergartners and so we should have kindergartner-level policies.

----------------

"The only difference between Kindergarten and University today is the age of the kinder."

-- Dennis Prager circa 2019

Posted by: ShainS at September 14, 2026 06:19 PM (xHp2Q)

62 WATCH: U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell appears in public for the first time in 3 months
Posted by: weft cut-loop

He was only mostly dead.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 14, 2026 06:14 PM (tJ5Y1)

Eh. Get on the cart.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at September 14, 2026 06:19 PM (dK+Kv)

63 I'm a dancin' machine.

Posted by: Uju Anya at September 14, 2026 06:19 PM (wVcYX)

64 Trump will dump illegals from SNAP; people will starve Mahmdani. Send them to your "free" grocery stores" that'll never happen, on your "free buses" that'll never happen. Tool...

Posted by: pahound at September 14, 2026 06:20 PM (AjR4+)

65 60
Uju Anya, Uju, Uju
Uju Anya, Uju, Uju
Uju Anya, Uju, Uju
Uju Anya, Uju, Uju

I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me...
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 14, 2026 06:19 PM (tJ5Y1)

Well done!!

Posted by: tubal at September 14, 2026 06:20 PM (Gqar8)

66 So, if I was black, grew my hair long and braided it, bought a pair of black framed glasses like Mr. Peabody's pet boy Sherman, I could get a job catering and fawning over a fat, racist black woman like a sidekick to a Bond Villain?

Or start a PM Dawn tribute act.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:20 PM (2Drhq)

67 ProTip: No One cares about Jack Schlossberg. No one. Be honest. You don't even know who Jack Schlossberg is.

I believe he has something to do with golf clubs.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 14, 2026 06:20 PM (guGkK)

68 Gay Democrats always leak it that they're knee-deep in mish before a run.

You say that like it's a Bad Thing.

Posted by: Cory "Spartacus" Booker (D-NJ) at September 14, 2026 06:20 PM (0sNs1)

69 CAIR warns against backlash from next Friday's terror attack.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:20 PM (4NO2D)

70
Uyu Anya is the face of today's academia. They want you to think that it's just scholars studying Chaucer and statistical thermodynamics, but it's all really Uyu Anya.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 14, 2026 06:20 PM (eRlcH)

71 The suit was brought by Earthjustice, which represented the Sierra Club and Urban Core Collective. Also, the Michigan attorney general argued the case for Illinois, Michigan and Minnesota. Other petitioners included the Natural Resources Defense Council, Michigan Environmental Council, Environmental Defense Fund, Environmental Law and Policy Center, Vote Solar, the Ecology Center and the Union of Concerned Scientists.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 14, 2026 06:17 PM (Cqx++)
=====

In a just world, these people would be eaten by bears.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:21 PM (RIvkX)

72 I bet he shows up with a note from Miracle Max and a chocolate-coated miracle pill...
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 14, 2026 06:19 PM (FZ29D)

It DOES make it go down easier.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:21 PM (zZu0s)

73 So, I was wondering why Donkey Chompers was being so weirdly public about her breakup with that dickless ginger dude.

Probably fucked Jack Schlossberg too.

Posted by: Which one? You decide. at September 14, 2026 06:21 PM (TbWk/)

74 I'm not sure but, shouldn't a black female professor be offended to work at a university named after a melon?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 14, 2026 06:22 PM (guGkK)

75 In a just world, these people would be eaten by bears.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:21 PM (RIvkX)
---
Why do you hate bears so much?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 14, 2026 06:22 PM (FZ29D)

76 AOC can marry into the Kennedys.

Posted by: nckate at September 14, 2026 06:22 PM (enNUy)

77 Was Mitch in his Capt Pike wheelchair?

Posted by: Skip at September 14, 2026 06:22 PM (Ia/+0)

78 Ill admit: no idea (fucking or otherwise) who Jack Schlossenberg is.

Sounds like an asshole.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:22 PM (zZu0s)

79 I think I have to order dinner. My house is really, really clean and this includes the kitchen. I don’t want to mess it up.

We need a first world problem post. 🤣

Posted by: Piper at September 14, 2026 06:23 PM (ZdaMQ)

80 I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me...
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 14, 2026 06:19 PM (tJ5Y1)

Hah!

Nailed it.

Now don't step on my Blue Swede shoes.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 14, 2026 06:23 PM (guGkK)

81 Now, I'm wondering if Zohran will have a nasty falling out with the ol' ball-and-chain soon, too.
====

Imagine looking at that across the prayer rug every night.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:23 PM (RIvkX)

82 53 @SenMcConnell
Today, I’ll cast my first Senate vote since I took a bad fall back in June.

_____________________

I'm going to need some clarification. Our records show there were nearly 10 separate falls in June of 2026. Which one of these "falls" are we focusing on to deflect from what your actual medical emergency happened to be?

BTW, did you know that Harry Reid was servely injured in a "gym mishap" near the end of his career? Irony, huh?

Posted by: Orson at September 14, 2026 06:23 PM (dIske)

83 So, if I was black, grew my hair long and braided it, bought a pair of black framed glasses like Mr. Peabody's pet boy Sherman, I could get a job catering and fawning over a fat, racist black woman like a sidekick to a Bond Villain?

Milli Vanilli tribute duo?

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (wVcYX)

84 You all realize that "safety and fairness" is a lie.

-- It is unsafe to exclude trans people
-- It is unfair to exclude trans people.

The motherfucker weirdo is "triangulating" by lying -- this is an Obama trick or picking words very carefully to mean two different things.

Posted by: bob (moron inbobnitus) at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (tK8kH)

85 79 I think I have to order dinner. My house is really, really clean and this includes the kitchen. I don’t want to mess it up.

We need a first world problem post. 🤣
Posted by: Piper at September 14, 2026 06:23 PM (ZdaMQ)

Hah!! That’s what I’m getting ready to do!! BBQ!!!

Posted by: tubal at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (Gqar8)

86
Ill admit: no idea (fucking or otherwise) who Jack Schlossenberg is.

Sounds like an asshole.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:22 PM (zZu0s)

Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg's nepo spawn

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (tJ5Y1)

87 200 women is a low number of sexual partners for a Kennedy

Posted by: Frank Barone at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (OkYzo)

88 Today, I’ll cast my first Senate vote since I took a bad fall back in June.

It'll be a private vote and I will vote to ensure that politicians of both parties will be able to continue to use all manner of fraud to hold on to power as long as they are, technically, alive. -- Mitch McConnell

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (ExV1e)

89 AOC can marry into the Kennedys.
Posted by: nckate at September 14, 2026 06:22 PM (enNUy)
=====
Hint: Schlossberg is JFK's grandson

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:25 PM (RIvkX)

90 (tJ5Y1)

87 200 women is a low number of sexual partners for a Kennedy
Posted by: Frank Barone at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (OkYzo)

Are we talking left to die in the backseat of an Oldsmobile or...

Posted by: Ted Kennedy has the REAL body count at September 14, 2026 06:26 PM (zZu0s)

91 The retarded voters can vote for AOC, and the normal+ IQ Dems who might get nervous about the whole retarded person problem will understand they are actually voting for him.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at September 14, 2026 06:18 PM

A proven strategy, yet somehow, the retarded voters didn't vote for me when it counted.

But I'm tanned. Rested. Ready!

Posted by: Hillary! 2028! 2032! at September 14, 2026 06:26 PM (0sNs1)

92 84 You all realize that "safety and fairness" is a lie.

-- It is unsafe to exclude trans people
-- It is unfair to exclude trans people.

The motherfucker weirdo is "triangulating" by lying -- this is an Obama trick or picking words very carefully to mean two different things.
Posted by: bob (moron inbobnitus) at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (tK8kH)

When, in the history of the world, has anyone ever been safe?

When, in the history of the world, has anything been fair?

Apparently these folks need to have the talking to I used to get from Mom after whining. And probably the backhand when I refused to stop whining.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:27 PM (Ntshk)

93 Mike Rogers in Michigan - Abdul's opponent - just had a nice commercial.

Him talking about lowering prescription drug prices. And Abdul just had a lame counter ad.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:27 PM (Sco7b)

94 78 Ill admit: no idea (fucking or otherwise) who Jack Schlossenberg is.

Sounds like an asshole.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:22 PM (zZu0s)
_______________________

I didn't either, so I pulled up a photo to see if would recognize him. I've never seen the guy before, but he has on voluminous pencil neck....which makes me wonder what caliber these 200 + women must be. Perhaps he's been cruising the DMV.

Posted by: Orson at September 14, 2026 06:27 PM (dIske)

95 "Alhimidi, an Iraqi refugee who trained U.S. soldiers to fight in the Middle East..."
___

LOL!!

Iraqis. Training. Us.

I don't think so.

Posted by: SMH at God's mercy at September 14, 2026 06:27 PM (Rln0i)

96 200 women for a man sure, 200 women for a woman I doubt it

Posted by: Skip at September 14, 2026 06:27 PM (Ia/+0)

97 200 women is a low number of sexual partners for a Kennedy
Posted by: Frank Barone at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (OkYzo)

Lifetime or prep school & college career?

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 14, 2026 06:27 PM (wVcYX)

98 Retarded people don't like the people who are better than they are.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 06:28 PM (5Go8e)

99 Saw Talarico ad.
He's doing some goofy thing where he's delivering food and drinks to people in a diner.
Because, the tag line, politicians should serve the people.

But the ad is more spot-on than he realizes:
- he doesn't listen to any of them or take their order
- this person this table gets a drink, that person at that table gets a plate of food; the people they're with get neither.
- he doesn't even talk to them or interact with them at all while doing this

So, a perfect socialist:
you get what I decide you get, and only who I decide who gets, and you'll have no input, choice or feedback.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (3cUTc)

100 88 Today, I’ll cast my first Senate vote since I took a bad fall back in June.

It'll be a private vote and I will vote to ensure that politicians of both parties will be able to continue to use all manner of fraud to hold on to power as long as they are, technically, alive. -- Mitch McConnell
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (ExV1e)

And then he said, "Beep beep beep boop."

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (Ntshk)

101 Ayanna Pressley is that bald guy, right?

Posted by: wth at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (UjdFS)

102 So, a perfect socialist:
you get what I decide you get, and only who I decide who gets, and you'll have no input, choice or feedback.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (3cUTc)

And only some people get food.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (dK+Kv)

103 The former CNN analyst has a history of making unverified or false claims...

That's pretty much the job description, ain't it?

Posted by: Oddbob at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (vTZFs)

104 I'm not watching that Charley Kirk slander. I need to sleep tonight.

Posted by: Eromero at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (LHPAg)

105 So these various twats listed in the post, do any of them actually have real jobs, have any ever met payroll, and can any of them point to any thing they have ever produced that was of value to anyone but themselves?

Yeah, I'll wait.

Probably forever.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:31 PM (Ntshk)

106 And only some people get food.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM

I don't get it.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:31 PM (4NO2D)

107 @SenMcConnell
Today, I’ll cast my first Senate vote since I took a bad fall back in June.
......

... he said through the computerized voice box in his lap.

Posted by: wth at September 14, 2026 06:31 PM (UjdFS)

108 I need a nap.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 06:32 PM (5Go8e)

109 Senator McConnell?

*beep*

The ayes have it.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:32 PM (4NO2D)

110 Nightly News

AI fear crap. I'm out early if they're this stupid this early.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:32 PM (Sco7b)

111
I remember that murder in El Cajon with the fake redneck hate crime evidence added. It was a few miles from here. Among the mistakes the bonehead husband made was knocking the glass out of a sliding glass door so it flew out of the house, instead of in.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at September 14, 2026 06:32 PM (azNOR)

112 The efforts that states like Oregon where I live are putting into retaining welfare for illegals and cheaters convinces me that its a huge money maker for the left

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 06:33 PM (K32Fz)

113 So, Dolezal is now going by "Nkechi Diallo?" Still cosplaying as an African?

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:33 PM (2Drhq)

114 68 Gay Democrats always leak ~~it that they're knee-deep in mish before a run.~~

You say that like it's a Bad Thing.
Posted by: Cory "Spartacus" Booker

Shhhhh. You had me at "Gay Democrats always leak."

Posted by: Pete Buttigieg at September 14, 2026 06:33 PM (lebqq)

115 78 Ill admit: no idea (fucking or otherwise) who Jack Schlossenberg is.

Sounds like an asshole.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:22 PM (zZu0s)
_______________________

I didn't either, so I pulled up a photo to see if would recognize him. I've never seen the guy before, but he has on voluminous pencil neck....which makes me wonder what caliber these 200 + women must be. Perhaps he's been cruising the DMV.
Posted by: Orson at September 14, 2026 06:27 PM (dIske)

Okay, mystery solved!
https://youtu.be/_gUxsoM_R_w

Posted by: Herb Melnick at September 14, 2026 06:33 PM (wVcYX)

116 Ayanna Pressley is that bald guy, right?
Posted by: wth at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (UjdFS)

Ghetto Telly Savalas...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at September 14, 2026 06:33 PM (nbLIj)

117 I can't stand the Bushes or Cornyn, but do these aholes really think that Talarico getting elected is a good thing? The GOPe can die quick enough

Posted by: Smell the Glove at September 14, 2026 06:33 PM (N2HNb)

118 "Ayanna Presley is that bald guy, right?"

I think so. Was on Star Trek

Posted by: Common Tater at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (No2m8)

119 The Saudis have asked the UK to send troops to help them fight the Houthis .
The UK has agreed. Those ten soldiers must be some bad mutherfuckers.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (E0Et6)

120 Nightly News

AI fear crap.
.......

Maybe they should talk about something really scary, like the national debt.

Posted by: wth at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (UjdFS)

121 ... for noticing that a very high percentage of UT students seem to be Indian and not Texan or American.

We know now that at least two of them are American citizens and I'm sure we will find out about the rest and Bo French will look like an even bigger jackass.

Posted by: Mark1971 at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (/OKHJ)

122 110 Nightly News

AI fear crap. I'm out early if they're this stupid this early.
Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:32 PM (Sco7b)

Oh, sure, it's all fun and games until the Terminator shows up on your doorstep.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (Ntshk)

123 Like just now, I had to look up what Hyrox was because several ewetub thumbnails told me that a woman shit herself to win.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (zZu0s)

124 I remember that murder in El Cajon with the fake redneck hate crime evidence added. It was a few miles from here. Among the mistakes the bonehead husband made was knocking the glass out of a sliding glass door so it flew out of the house, instead of in.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at September 14, 2026 06:32 PM (azNOR)

Didn't that dunce ever watch Muslim Scooby Doo?

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (dK+Kv)

125 n a just world, these people would be eaten by bears.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 14, 2026 06:21 PM (RIvkX)

************

Please. This is a job for sea lice. We bears have standards.

Posted by: Bears at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (edsDq)

126 Lester Bangs grew up in El Cajon. He liked to make jokes about the "other" meaning of its name.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:35 PM (2Drhq)

127 Gay democrats always leak, Andrew Gillum says hold my lube

Posted by: nckate at September 14, 2026 06:35 PM (enNUy)

128 The Saudis have asked the UK to send troops to help them fight the Houthis .
The UK has agreed. Those ten soldiers must be some bad mutherfuckers.
Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM

Maybe Gurkhas.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:35 PM (4NO2D)

129 Schlossberg is not only a nepo punk , but if you've ever heard him you'd realize he's also dumb as a stump

Posted by: Smell the Glove at September 14, 2026 06:35 PM (N2HNb)

130 Hydrox cookies were good.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 06:35 PM (6ydKt)

131 Ayanna Pressley is that bald guy, right?
Posted by: wth at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (UjdFS)

Ghetto Telly Savalas...
Posted by: Joe Kidd at September 14, 2026 06:33 PM (nbLIj)

Chocolate Kojak. Sucks on one of them wiener shaped suckers featured at bachelorette parties.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Sounding the Carnyx at September 14, 2026 06:36 PM (0aYVJ)

132 The box.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 06:36 PM (5Go8e)

133 116 Ayanna Pressley is that bald guy, right?
Posted by: wth at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (UjdFS)

Ghetto Telly Savalas...
Posted by: Joe Kidd at September 14, 2026 06:33 PM (nbLIj)

She isn't nearly as cute as he was.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:36 PM (Ntshk)

134 and not Texan or American.

Making the distinction is so Texan.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:36 PM (4NO2D)

135 We've never lived in a time where information is so easily accessible. There are hours of Charlie Kirk's debates and other speaking events and yet they remain absolutely ignorant of what he stood for and how he treated even people who disagreed with him.

They are ignorant, destructive children.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 14, 2026 06:36 PM (viF8m)

136 Hydrox have been around longer than Oreos.

Posted by: Mark1971 at September 14, 2026 06:37 PM (/OKHJ)

137 This feels vaguely insulting to Mr Sevalis.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:37 PM (zZu0s)

138 I bet if the UK asked the Saudis to stop the Islamic invasion of the UK the Sauds would say "it's Allah's will"

Posted by: Smell the Glove at September 14, 2026 06:37 PM (N2HNb)

139 Lester Bangs grew up in El Cajon. He liked to make jokes about the "other" meaning of its name.
Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:35 PM (2Drhq)

I sing his name!

Posted by: William Hung at September 14, 2026 06:37 PM (wVcYX)

140 Big Oreo stole the whole idea from Hydrox.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:38 PM (2Drhq)

141 For a second I thought it would be nice if we had psychotic nutcases willing to go out into mass media, social and otherwise, and spout the kind of outrageous in your face shit like the typical occupant of the Quick Hits threads do.

Then I realized... we did.

And they have all since cratered like their middle name was Tunguska because... you know.... psychotic.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at September 14, 2026 06:38 PM (Ot/FD)

142 Just sell the Saudis all of our mooselimps.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 06:38 PM (5Go8e)

143 Somebody here knows their vanilla creme sandwich cookies.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 06:39 PM (6ydKt)

144 Big Oreo stole the whole idea from Hydrox.
Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:38 PM

Matt Hydrox's mysterious death in that trans-polar balloon expedition did always seem suspicious.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:39 PM (4NO2D)

145 Lester Bangs and the guy who played him both died from an overdose.

Posted by: Mark1971 at September 14, 2026 06:39 PM (/OKHJ)

146 Hydrox have been around longer than Oreos.
Posted by: Mark1971

And the same package made back then just gets passed around to poor households.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 14, 2026 06:39 PM (HeG1i)

147 Nutter Butters.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 06:39 PM (5Go8e)

148 The Iranian people are being told all the bank closings are because of mergers. The people cannot access any cash.

The regime is selling gold coins that contain NO gold.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:39 PM (E0Et6)

149 123 Like just now, I had to look up what Hyrox was because several ewetub thumbnails told me that a woman shit herself to win.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (zZu0s)

Holy.... crap. I thought maybe it was a race, like, outdoors, but no, she shit herself indoors, with other competitors having to follow her through the course. She crapped on everyone to win.

Sounds like a seriously foul competition.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:40 PM (Ntshk)

150 140 Big Oreo stole the whole idea from Hydrox.
Posted by: Delurker

I thought Hydroxycut would help me lose weight, but switching to Oreos didn't help at all!

Posted by: Confused Moron at September 14, 2026 06:40 PM (lebqq)

151 Like our $1.00 coins.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 06:40 PM (5Go8e)

152 Hydrox have been around longer than Oreos.
Posted by: Mark1971 at September 14, 2026

***
They have, and you can still buy them on Amazon if you have the funding.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at September 14, 2026 06:41 PM (wzUl9)

153 16 Miracle Max must be working overtime

@BNONews 3m
WATCH: U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell appears in public for the first time in 3 months
Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 14, 2026 06:06 PM (HeG1i)

***

I could of sworn I saw him yesterday but turns out it was one of those fan powered blow up floppy things they use get the attention at strip malls.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 14, 2026 06:41 PM (2WIwB)

154 Try a dollop of sour cream on your standard oreos...it's quite good. Double stuffs throw off the combo.

Posted by: connected and litigious at September 14, 2026 06:42 PM (cS1cw)

155 Matt Hydrox's mysterious death in that trans-polar balloon expedition did always seem suspicious.
Posted by: toby928

We didn't see nuffun'.

Posted by: Creepy Computer Generated Coca-Cola Polar Bears at September 14, 2026 06:42 PM (lebqq)

156 145 Lester Bangs and the guy who played him both died from an overdose.

He was listening to The Human League when he OD'd. I suspect suicide.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:42 PM (2Drhq)

157 I will vote for Bo French, but I also keep in mind he is NOT going to handle Texas Railroad Commission meetings well, especially when he sees who will be sitting in on the meetings via teleconference.

And the controversy sounds like BS to me especially with the media spinning it up already.

Posted by: Cow Demon at September 14, 2026 06:42 PM (DwhNO)

158 He doesn’t get the recognition he deserves for it but Telly Savalas played a very good Blofeld.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 06:42 PM (6ydKt)

159 134 and not Texan or American.

Making the distinction is so Texan.
Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:36 PM (4NO2D)

To be fair, I'm an Alaskan before I am an American.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:42 PM (Ntshk)

160 tcn, I must say talent runs strong in your family.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:42 PM (E0Et6)

161 I can remember seeing Sunshine Hydrox cookies in the grocery when I was in grammar school. Now, I'm not even sure "Sunshine" the company is still around.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at September 14, 2026 06:42 PM (wzUl9)

162 I think I have to order dinner. My house is really, really clean and this includes the kitchen. I don’t want to mess it up.
We need a first world problem post. 🤣
Posted by: Piper
----
This is a legitimate problem!
My problem is the outlets in half of my kitchen don't work. The guy is trying to troubleshoot it now.
I had a tooth prepped for a crown today and the temporary one is wonky. The spawn got stung/bite on her big toe and it got infected and has a wicked big blister. So took her to the doctor this morning after my dental work and she's on antibiotics.
I should also order dinner and get my house cleaned.

Posted by: lin-duh at September 14, 2026 06:43 PM (VCgbV)

163 The regime is selling gold coins that contain NO gold.
Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:39 PM (E0Et6)

Gold coins that contain no gold…

Say! Like the chocolate “coins” in gold foil?

Posted by: Cow Demon at September 14, 2026 06:43 PM (DwhNO)

164 I should also order dinner and get my house cleaned.

Posted by: lin-duh at September 14, 2026 06:43 PM (VCgbV)

Forget dinner, just go to bed now and cut your losses.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at September 14, 2026 06:43 PM (Ot/FD)

165 163 The regime is selling gold coins that contain NO gold.
Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:39 PM (E0Et6)

Gold coins that contain no gold…

Say! Like the chocolate “coins” in gold foil?
Posted by: Cow Demon at September 14, 2026 06:43 PM (DwhNO)

a-HA!

Posted by: Tuq'r Qarlson at September 14, 2026 06:44 PM (Ot/FD)

166 Emu, shemu, we all mu for emus.

@EpochTimes 43m
Runaway Emu Safely Captured in New York

Police in suburban New York capture a runaway emu and return it home.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 14, 2026 06:44 PM (HeG1i)

167 7 Nutter Butters.
Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026

***
Robert Parker had Spenser eat one in an early novel, and conclude that he would rather eat the cardboard box.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at September 14, 2026 06:44 PM (wzUl9)

168 160 tcn, I must say talent runs strong in your family.
Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:42 PM (E0Et6)

For what, bloviating?

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:45 PM (Ntshk)

169 16 Miracle Max must be working overtime

@BNONews 3m
WATCH: U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell appears in public for the first time in 3 months
Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 14, 2026 06:06 PM (HeG1i)

It is true; he specializes in 'mostly dead'.

Posted by: Nelly at September 14, 2026 06:45 PM (K4R9U)

170 Who made Cheese Nips, and what did they have against the Japanese?

Posted by: Mark1971 at September 14, 2026 06:45 PM (/OKHJ)

171 The Iranian people are being told all the bank closings are because of mergers. The people cannot access any cash.

The regime is selling gold coins that contain NO gold.
Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:39 PM (E0Et6)
----
Debasing the currency has a long and glorious tradition among failing regimes.

*** Looks at US dollar ***

Wait a minute...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 14, 2026 06:46 PM (FZ29D)

172 123 Like just now, I had to look up what Hyrox was because several ewetub thumbnails told me that a woman shit herself to win.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (zZu0s)

Holy.... crap. I thought maybe it was a race, like, outdoors, but no, she shit herself indoors, with other competitors having to follow her through the course. She crapped on everyone to win.

Sounds like a seriously foul competition.
Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:40 PM (Ntshk)

She persevered and found out what Brown can do for her.

Posted by: Not UPS at September 14, 2026 06:46 PM (wVcYX)

173 Oh, sure, it's all fun and games until the Terminator shows up on your doorstep.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM

The Summer Glau version! I'll plan something special!

Okay, I cooked bacon. That's a start.

And the 18 pound watermelon I cut up yesterday is done. Ralphy had a bit too. I didn't want it in the fridge too long. It was good and took the place of water I usually drink.

My single man food YouTube channel will just make people sad.
I love fruit and veggies though. Talarico approved!

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:46 PM (Sco7b)

174 I’d imagine Nabisco bought out Sunshine since they bought out everything not named Hostess at one point or another.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 06:47 PM (6ydKt)

175 tcn, your post about your brother. I know how talented you are in your profession.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:47 PM (E0Et6)

176 In before that fag in the last post

hey, I'm right here!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 06:48 PM (K32Fz)

177 Our coins had silver in them before 1965.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 06:48 PM (5Go8e)

178 I just saw on Wikipedia that Keebler bought Sunshine and then Kellogg bought Keebler.

Posted by: Mark1971 at September 14, 2026 06:48 PM (/OKHJ)

179 I see all kings of loney people doing what they do on YouTube

Posted by: Skip at September 14, 2026 06:48 PM (Ia/+0)

180 if Ayanna Pressley wants to hang with the muzzies, she needs to learn to shut her piehole when men are talking.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 14, 2026 06:48 PM (2WIwB)

181 119 The Saudis have asked the UK to send troops to help them fight the Houthis .
The UK has agreed. Those ten soldiers must be some bad mutherfuckers.
Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (E0Et6)
Like T.E. Lawrence of Arabia.

Posted by: Eromero at September 14, 2026 06:49 PM (LHPAg)

182 178 I just saw on Wikipedia that Keebler bought Sunshine and then Kellogg bought Keebler.
Posted by: Mark1971 at September 14, 2026 06:48 PM (/OKHJ)

And Kellogg is owned by Phillip Morris.

(not really.)

(...)

(dear God, I really hope not really.)

Posted by: Tuq'r Qarlson at September 14, 2026 06:49 PM (Ot/FD)

183 (mean sock, off)

Posted by: Warai-otoko at September 14, 2026 06:49 PM (Ot/FD)

184 154 Try a dollop of sour cream on your standard oreos...it's quite good. Double stuffs throw off the combo.
Posted by: connected and litigious

I cannot with you people.

🤣😂🤣

Posted by: Piper at September 14, 2026 06:49 PM (ZdaMQ)

185 Did Ace cover this?

The head of Judicial Watch and a self-described messianic Jew and Zionist named Klayman is suing al-Sayd's butt-buddy Hasan Piker for $150 million.

Pray for Kaya since Hassan has been crashing out.

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 14, 2026 06:50 PM (2GVsD)

186 Sunshine made Cheez-It but now Mars does.

Posted by: Mark1971 at September 14, 2026 06:50 PM (/OKHJ)

187 The IRGC is texting people asking them to come and join the army.
The IRGC and Basij don't have many fighters left.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:50 PM (E0Et6)

188 When we have President Ocasio-Cortez-Mamdani and her dreamy First Husband, it will make the media's erotic obsessions with the Kennedys and Obamas look like Victorian-era mash notes by comparison. Several journalists will probably have to be hauled away by Capitol Police when they drop trou and start beating off all over the place at the inauguration.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at September 14, 2026 06:50 PM (BI5O2)

189 Those Keebler Elves could sell me anything at one time.

Them and the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 06:50 PM (6ydKt)

190 167 Robert Parker had Spenser eat one in an early novel, and conclude that he would rather eat the cardboard box.

That's how I felt about Bugles. Those things tasted like the cardboard box that cardboard boxes come in.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:51 PM (2Drhq)

191 Forget dinner, just go to bed now and cut your losses.
Posted by: Warai-otoko
----
This actually sounds great! I think the electrical guy is almost done. He's going to order some new breakers for the box and replace everything with heartier stuff than HD or Lowe's carries. He'll come replace everything then. Good guy. He did a bunch of work when we had the water damage during snowmageddon and didn't charge us for anything.

Posted by: lin-duh at September 14, 2026 06:51 PM (VCgbV)

192 175 tcn, your post about your brother. I know how talented you are in your profession.
Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:47 PM (E0Et6)

Maybe so, but some of us are just plain strange. Kinda streaky in my fam. Probably like most.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:51 PM (Ntshk)

193 Try a dollop of sour cream on your standard oreos...it's quite good.

I'm not falling for that again

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 06:51 PM (K32Fz)

194 I should also order dinner and get my house cleaned.

Posted by: lin-duh at September 14, 2026 06:43 PM (VCgbV)

Do this. You earned it. I am just being lazy.

Posted by: Piper at September 14, 2026 06:51 PM (ZdaMQ)

195 "It would drain money from local businesses that depend on federal benefits."

Might be time for them to learn to practice capitalism.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at September 14, 2026 06:52 PM (vJrRc)

196 The UK has agreed. Those ten soldiers must be some bad mutherfuckers.
Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:34 PM (E0Et6)

Let's see.
1. James Bond
2 & 3. Steed and Emma Peel
4. Montgomery Scott
5. Amelia Pond
6 - 10 - Five Doctor Whos

The Saudis have this in the bag.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:52 PM (Sco7b)

197 99 Saw Talarico ad.
He's doing some goofy thing where he's delivering food and drinks to people in a diner.
Because, the tag line, politicians should serve the people.

But the ad is more spot-on than he realizes:
- he doesn't listen to any of them or take their order
- this person this table gets a drink, that person at that table gets a plate of food; the people they're with get neither.
- he doesn't even talk to them or interact with them at all while doing this

So, a perfect socialist:
you get what I decide you get, and only who I decide who gets, and you'll have no input, choice or feedback.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at September 14, 2026 06:29 PM (3cUTc)

Thinking about that scene in Aliens where Ripley is in the mess hall with the marines after they're thawed out and the synthetic offers her cornbread and she knocks that tin out of his hand across the room.

You stay away from me Talafreeko, you got that?

Gormless howdy doody looking motherf**ker.

Posted by: Nelly at September 14, 2026 06:52 PM (K4R9U)

198 Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at September 14, 2026 06:50 PM (BI5O2)

"We said you should have an ARRANGED marriage, not a DERANGED marriage!"

Posted by: Mr. and Mrs. Mamdani at September 14, 2026 06:52 PM (Ot/FD)

199 That's how I felt about Bugles. Those things tasted like the cardboard box that cardboard boxes come in.

Now try some King Vitamin!

The snack that shouldn't work that I like is Funyuns, those things are tasty. Bags are too small though

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 06:52 PM (K32Fz)

200 Gurkhas in Saudi Arabia?

Make Yemen Aden Again.

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 14, 2026 06:53 PM (2GVsD)

201 Mitch is back, baby. (Surely the Horde knows this fact.)

NBC was just airing Macklemore's sad 😭 tales of being booed & also bump off of Ed Sherran's tour. Investigation is needed.

Somehow, it seems mainstream media is more sympathetic to this goof than the brave Boston man & poc.

Posted by: L - No nic... at September 14, 2026 06:53 PM (NFX2v)

202 Keebler? Hydrox?? Luxury! We had to share those plain round cardboard cookies with the hole in the middle and I always got the hole.

Posted by: fd at September 14, 2026 06:53 PM (MWfyi)

203 I’d imagine Nabisco bought out Sunshine since they bought out everything not named Hostess at one point or another.
Posted by: SpeakingOf

According to the last box of What thins, I bought, Nabisco is now owned by Mondelez International

Posted by: FeatherBlade at September 14, 2026 06:53 PM (vJrRc)

204 Dammit, there's a dead mouse behind the dryer that stinks to high heaven, and the better half wants me to go get it out of there. So I have to move the dryer out. And my back is already killing me. Oof.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:54 PM (2Drhq)

205 Posted by: lin-duh at September 14, 2026 06:51 PM (VCgbV)

May tomorrow be better.
Good night!

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:54 PM (Sco7b)

206 We are not getting out of this without shooting.

Just as the prophecy has foretold.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at September 14, 2026 06:54 PM (xvV+O)

207 ... "Wheat Thins", not whatever I actually typed.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at September 14, 2026 06:54 PM (vJrRc)

208 Sometimes I buy the Dollar Tree knockoff Oreos. They aren't bad.

Posted by: Mark1971 at September 14, 2026 06:54 PM (/OKHJ)

209 Try a dollop of sour cream on your standard oreos...it's quite good. Double stuffs throw off the combo.

Posted by: connected and litigious at September 14, 2026 06:42 PM (cS1cw)

-----------------

Am I the only sick freak who read that as "aeriolas?"

I mean, even "double stuff" threw me off there ...

Posted by: ShainS at September 14, 2026 06:55 PM (iEaco)

210 Meanwhile James Talarico:

"What if we ran our world like we run a kindergarten classroom? Because at the end of the day, aren't we all just really big kindergartners?"

Now at first blush this looks like its just him being a gormless twit like usual. But its much more sinister.

He is saying that we are all childish and helpless and need a powerful leader to tell us all what to do and when to do it, controlling everyone and everything. That we are all too hapless and foolish to handle things on our own with all our "freedoms"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 06:55 PM (K32Fz)

211 >>> Degenerate Kennedy layabout and clout-farmer Jack Schlossburg's "girlfriend" says he's cheating on her with 200+ women, which must mean he's running again for higher office.

I can never remember which Kennedy Millennial/Gen Z spawn it was Taylor Swift dated. But I'm sure they are all cheaters, it's a family tradition!

Apparently the Travis Kelce/ Taylor Swift honeymoon might be over: she does not want to live in boring flyover country during the football season, and he kinda has to be there to like, y'know, practice and stuff. Being on a huge tour during the bulk of their courtship probably let them avoid this conflict, and now they have to face it. Good luck to them!

If she could get into it and stop with thirsting for the single life with her girl squad, a tradwife WAG era where she just writes at home with babies, could be a good thing for her. But I don't think she's mature enough to handle that yet. I think she either pushes him to retire, or transfer to a team in CA or NY.

Her ex Harry Styles performed at Madison Square garden and poked fun that it is now a wedding venue. Good for him!

Posted by: LizLem at September 14, 2026 06:55 PM (Eng1Z)

212 We replaced this buttpounding Ayatollah's gold reserves with Hannukah gelt... Will he notice the difference?

Posted by: Mossad at September 14, 2026 06:56 PM (BI5O2)

213 "Because at the end of the day, aren't we all just really big kindergartners?""

Fuck no little kids don't know shit.

Posted by: fd at September 14, 2026 06:56 PM (MWfyi)

214 Talerico, "all you Earth people are idiots!"

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 14, 2026 06:56 PM (2GVsD)

215 The tobacco companies mostly dropped their food companies.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 06:56 PM (5Go8e)

216 Gurkhas in Saudi Arabia?

Make Yemen Aden Again.
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 14, 2026 06:53 PM (2GVsD)

Reporting for duty!

Posted by: Billy Fish, Rifleman Majendra Bahadur Gurung wishing you many good lucks! at September 14, 2026 06:56 PM (wVcYX)

217 Abdul's prescription commercial sucks.

A bunch of people coughing. Annoying as hell.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 06:56 PM (Sco7b)

218 200 women is a low number of sexual partners for a Kennedy
Posted by: Frank Barone at September 14, 2026 06:24 PM (OkYzo)

Is this including both consensual and non-consensual?

Posted by: It's a Kennedy, so fair question at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (TbWk/)

219 I have a pure speculative theory that Trump's moves to declassify 9/11 docs is a shot at the Bush's.

But more specifically to them at Roberts; "keep your honor and call your dog Justice to heel."

It's doesn't get the howls that attacking the Dems does but Trump is dismantling the GOPe just as actively.

McConnell crawling out of his crypt wasn't for some symbolic vote today.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (3cUTc)

220
Mitch is using Captain Pikes rolling cart with the 2 bleeps for yes. 1 bleep for no.

Posted by: Frank Barone at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (OkYzo)

221 Am I the only sick freak who read that as "aeriolas?"

I mean, even "double stuff" threw me off there ...
Posted by: ShainS at September 14, 2026 06:55 PM (iEaco)

Honey, some of us grew double stuffs when we were 12.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (Ntshk)

222 Am I the only sick freak who read that as "aeriolas?"

Now that, I'd try

NBC was just airing Macklemore's sad tales of being booed & also bump off of Ed Sheeran's tour.

Yeah he kept going on about free palestine, but it was wearing a gargantuan cartoon "Jew" nose for a song that really put it over the top

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (K32Fz)

223 Mondelez International
Posted by: FeatherBlade at September 14, 2026 06:53 PM (vJrRc)

Mondelez owns a bunch of candy and snacks brands so it makes sense.

Mondelez was spun off from another company itself years ago. I forget the details.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (6ydKt)

224 Yum Inc just sold Pizza Hut.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (4NO2D)

225 The suit was brought by Earthjustice, which represented the Sierra Club and Urban Core Collective. Also, the Michigan attorney general argued the case for Illinois, Michigan and Minnesota. Other petitioners included the Natural Resources Defense Council, Michigan Environmental Council, Environmental Defense Fund, Environmental Law and Policy Center, Vote Solar, the Ecology Center and the Union of Concerned Scientists.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

Counter sue all of them for conspiracy to drive up energy costs and murder everyone who might freeze this winter because they can't afford heat. Throw in a couple of aiding and abetting the enemy charges in there for good measure.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (vJrRc)

226 2 Islamic clerics and several IRGG commanders have been killed in the last couple of days due to opposing religious beliefs and gunshot wounds.

Those smuggled weapons must be getting into the right hands.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (E0Et6)

227 Those smiling like a Jack ass kids who reenacted the Kirk murder need a good spanking.

Posted by: Tuna at September 14, 2026 06:58 PM (lJ0H4)

228 Never liked Fig Newtons all that much. They werent as bad as wheatabix.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 06:58 PM (zZu0s)

229 Does Pizza Hutt still suck?

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 06:58 PM (5Go8e)

230 Those smiling like a Jack ass kids who reenacted the Kirk murder need a good spanking.

Peace Corps to Helmand Province.

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 14, 2026 06:59 PM (2GVsD)

231 Meanwhile James Talarico:

"What if we ran our world like we run a kindergarten classroom? Because at the end of the day, aren't we all just really big kindergartners?"

Now at first blush this looks like its just him being a gormless twit like usual. But its much more sinister.

He is saying that we are all childish and helpless and need a powerful leader to tell us all what to do and when to do it, controlling everyone and everything. That we are all too hapless and foolish to handle things on our own with all our "freedoms"
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 06:55 PM (K32Fz)

Sitting is a circle on the floor is going to be a problem us 29 year olds. And I don't know if I can hold it in if we have to line up and all go to the bathroom together.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 14, 2026 07:00 PM (wVcYX)

232 "Those smiling like a Jack ass kids who reenacted the Kirk murder need a good spanking.
Posted by: Tuna"

They need a good ass kicking after their phones are shoved up there.

Posted by: fd at September 14, 2026 07:00 PM (MWfyi)

233 I saw the What Thins open for Todd Rungren at the Moonshadow Saloon in '85.

Posted by: ShainS at September 14, 2026 07:00 PM (iEaco)

234 Honey, some of us grew double stuffs when we were 12.
Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (Ntshk)

*smiles*

No lewd comment. Boobs just make me happy.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 07:00 PM (zZu0s)

235 The big Mexican-owned bakery is called Bimbo Bakeries. I think they are the largest in the US. They mostly sell things under different brand names but I occasionally see Bimbo branded stuff.

Posted by: Mark1971 at September 14, 2026 07:00 PM (/OKHJ)

236 Fig Newtons don't absorb milk. I won't eat any cookie that doesn't soak up milk when you dunk it.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 07:00 PM (2Drhq)

237 Does Pizza Hutt still suck?
Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 06:58 PM

They now have a garlic parmesan sauce that you can get instead of marinara. Extra at no charge. Good on a deep dish pie.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 07:00 PM (4NO2D)

238 Her ex Harry Styles performed at Madison Square garden and poked fun that it is now a wedding venue. Good for him!
Posted by: LizLem at September 14, 2026 06:55 PM (Eng1Z)

Can you imagine having the ego to have a "wedding" at that sort of venue, filled with all your adoring worshippers? I don't even being to understand how that has anything to do with a successful marriage. If you need 10,000 acquaintances, no matter how tangential, come to adore you for getting married, you can't possibly be secure in your choice.

Tacky, at best.

I wonder if she's gonna have that many people around when she divorces him for being an icky football player.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 07:01 PM (Ntshk)

239 If you don't know who Jack is, it's your Schloss.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 14, 2026 07:01 PM (0sNs1)

240 Fig Newtons don't absorb milk. I won't eat any cookie that doesn't soak up milk when you dunk it.
Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 07:00 PM (2Drhq)

Ill agree with this one. Chips Ahoy dry were meh. Soaked in milk, they were sublime.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 07:01 PM (zZu0s)

241 Fig Newtons are ok but don't eat too many. There are many things on the internet you cannot believe, but you can believe this.

Posted by: fd at September 14, 2026 07:02 PM (MWfyi)

242 Dammit, now I want Oreos and a glass of cold milk.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 07:02 PM (6ydKt)

243 The Chiefs are on MNF at home tonight. Wonder what's the over/under on camera shots of Tay-Tay?

Hope the Broncos clobber them, anyway.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 07:02 PM (2Drhq)

244 Mondelez owns a bunch of candy and snacks brands so it makes sense.

Mondelez was spun off from another company itself years ago. I forget the details.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (6ydKt)

Spun off from NABISCO I believe.

Posted by: Cow Demon at September 14, 2026 07:03 PM (DwhNO)

245 I'm trying to remember the last time I had a Toll House cookie. It may have been decades ago. I just remember them being good with a mug of ice cold milk. Like eat 'til you're sick good.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 07:03 PM (4NO2D)

246 Honey, some of us grew double stuffs when we were 12.

Hope you had some big brothers around to keep the creeps away

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 07:03 PM (K32Fz)

247 When the chocolate chip cookies are too hard at Golden Corral just put them on top of your mashed potatoes for a few minutes.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 07:03 PM (5Go8e)

248 James Talarico now has "I'm a Telefreako" t-shirts available for purchase (for the small but nominal fee of $35) on his website, just in time for your new TxMoMe wardrobe!

Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 14, 2026 07:04 PM (0sNs1)

249 Fig Newtons don't absorb milk. I won't eat any cookie that doesn't soak up milk when you dunk it.
Posted by: Delurker

They're great dunked in coffee. Just had a couple that way this morning.

Posted by: Tuna at September 14, 2026 07:04 PM (lJ0H4)

250 Fig Newtons are not cookies. Discuss.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 07:05 PM (4NO2D)

251 Those smuggled weapons must be getting into the right hands.
Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 06:57 PM (E0Et6)

Thank God for small favors. I think the tide is turning, at last.

I was a freshman in college and there were several Iranian (male) students there. They worked like hell to keep their visas current so they wouldn't have to go back and be conscripted into the army and fight Iraq. They were Zoroastrians, not Muslims, and knew that was mostly a death sentence.

Muslims and leftists: culture of death.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 07:05 PM (Ntshk)

252 Fig Newtons don't absorb milk. I won't eat any cookie that doesn't soak up milk when you dunk it.
Posted by: Delurker

I don't eat cookies that are named after the dude that invented gravity.

Posted by: BruceWayne at September 14, 2026 07:05 PM (YZ0Fo)

253 Was it VW that had that slogan "Fartfignewton"?

Posted by: fd at September 14, 2026 07:05 PM (MWfyi)

254 Sitting is a circle on the floor is going to be a problem us 29 year olds.

Down is not a problem. Might take a while to get back up, though

And I love Fig Newtons! They just don't love me

Too much sugar

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 07:05 PM (K32Fz)

255 One of my favorite moments in woke lunacy:

Fat activists in the LAUSD hired a "healthy at any size" social media influencer to cut a bunch of videos advising parents in the district to fatten up the little butterballs with more sweet treats, because healthful diets are racist or whatever.

This grotesquerie took a turn for the EVEN MORE ABSURD when it turned out this "influencer" was actually a full-time PR flack for Mondelez the whole time.

Posted by: Mossad at September 14, 2026 07:06 PM (BI5O2)

256 Okay I have to get back to work.

And all of you probably have to get ready for the big Emmy parties tonight. All of you have fun.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 07:06 PM (Sco7b)

257 "Fig Newtons are not cookies. Discuss.
Posted by: toby928(c)"

It's a cake.

Posted by: The Big Fig at September 14, 2026 07:06 PM (MWfyi)

258 Down is not a problem. Might take a while to get back up, though

It's all in the roll.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 07:06 PM (4NO2D)

259 Debasing the currency has a long and glorious tradition among failing regimes.

*** Looks at US dollar ***

Wait a minute...
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 14, 2026 06:46 PM (FZ29D)

Hold my beer.

Posted by: Hungarian pengo at September 14, 2026 07:06 PM (DwhNO)

260 Hope you had some big brothers around to keep the creeps away
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 07:03 PM (K32Fz)

Big sisters are meaner.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 07:06 PM (Ntshk)

261 Keebler Soft Batch cookies had me addicted for years when they first came out.
Before then you got Chips Ahoy that could crack a tooth if they’d been around too long, or those little cookies shaped like flowers with the holes in the middle.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 07:06 PM (6ydKt)

262 >>> 74 I'm not sure but, shouldn't a black female professor be offended to work at a university named after a melon?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 14, 2026 06:22 PM (guGkK)

...

...

... "work" ?

Posted by: Professora DEI at September 14, 2026 07:07 PM (+fdRY)

263 257 "Fig Newtons are not cookies. Discuss.
Posted by: toby928(c)"

It's a cake.
Posted by: The Big Fig at September 14, 2026 07:06 PM (MWfyi)

Assholes stopped making Apple Newtons.

Posted by: Cow Demon at September 14, 2026 07:07 PM (DwhNO)

264 Can you imagine having the ego to have a "wedding" at that sort of venue, filled with all your adoring worshippers? I don't even being to understand how that has anything to do with a successful marriage. If you need 10,000 acquaintances, no matter how tangential, come to adore you for getting married, you can't possibly be secure in your choice.

Tacky, at best.

I wonder if she's gonna have that many people around when she divorces him for being an icky football player.
Posted by: tcn in AK

Can you imagine the hubbub if she ever gets pregnant?

Posted by: Tuna at September 14, 2026 07:07 PM (lJ0H4)

265 Our coins were gold before 1933, too. The silver subsidiary coinage, and the gold coinage, were among the most beautiful coins intended for commerce ever produced. Everyone should own a $10 Eagle or $20 double Eagle just to look at real money once in a while. Gorgeous. I like the Walker half dollars.

When you see pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters and halves from that time period, they are almost always worn to the point of being unrecognizeable (known as "slicks" in the numismatic trade).

They were the workhorse of business and commerce. They traveled widely and fast. Think about that, the major denomination for shopping and purchases were 25c and 50c pieces. Pocket change had real purchasing power.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (No2m8)

266 Newtons are not cookies. Discuss.
Posted by: toby928(c)"

It's a cake.
Posted by: The Big Fig

It's a sandwich!

Posted by: BruceWayne at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (YZ0Fo)

267 204 Dammit, there's a dead mouse behind the dryer that stinks to high heaven, and the better half wants me to go get it out of there. So I have to move the dryer out. And my back is already killing me. Oof.
Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:54 PM (2Drhq)

Vacuum cleaner.

Posted by: Eromero at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (LHPAg)

268 253 Was it VW that had that slogan "Fartfignewton"?
Posted by: fd at September 14, 2026 07:05 PM (MWfyi)

Used to have bumper stickers that said "Fuckengrooven."

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (Ntshk)

269 >>I'm trying to remember the last time I had a Toll House cookie. It may have been decades ago. I just remember them being good with a mug of ice cold milk. Like eat 'til you're sick good.

The woman who came up with the original recipe for Toll House cookies lived in Whitman, MA. Used to operate out of place called the Toll House Inn. It burned down in the 1980s.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (viF8m)

270 Dryers are light.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 07:09 PM (5Go8e)

271 Can you imagine the hubbub if she ever gets pregnant?
Posted by: Tuna at September 14, 2026 07:07 PM (lJ0H4)

At her age, that is a serious uphill climb. Risky as hell, too, for the kid.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 07:09 PM (Ntshk)

272 >>> Those smiling like a Jack ass kids who reenacted the Kirk murder need a good spanking.

One girl, Sara Larsen, posted herself holding a "Happy Kirkiversary" cake. Turns out her dad just might be the CEO of Videra Health. She is going to the University of Utah for a medical degree, possibly pediatrics. People commented that someone celebrating another's death should not be allowed anywhere near kids.

Her apology stated "I do not represent anyone other than myself." Wanna bet daddy's company was getting dragged for her post?

https://tinyurl.com/bdd5p9u8

https://tinyurl.com/2eryxfzx

Posted by: LizLem at September 14, 2026 07:09 PM (Eng1Z)

273 I wonder if she's gonna have that many people around when she divorces him for being an icky football player.

She's all cheers and smiles at the game but eventually pretending she likes football because the guy she has a crush on is going to wear off

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 07:09 PM (K32Fz)

274 I don't eat cookies that are named after the dude that invented gravity.

Posted by: BruceWayne at September 14, 2026 07:05 PM (YZ0Fo)

---------------

And I don't drink alcoholic beverages named after nuclear bomb projects and NYC shit-holes.

Posted by: ShainS at September 14, 2026 07:10 PM (iEaco)

275 Sweets are bad. Mkay.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 07:10 PM (5Go8e)

276 >>> 267 204 Dammit, there's a dead mouse behind the dryer that stinks to high heaven, and the better half wants me to go get it out of there. So I have to move the dryer out. And my back is already killing me. Oof.
Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:54 PM (2Drhq)

Vacuum cleaner.
Posted by: Eromero at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (LHPAg)

Shop vac. Dump it out in the annoying neighbor's yard.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at September 14, 2026 07:10 PM (+fdRY)

277
>>We are deeply concerned [about a professor's vile racist, misandrist social media for which she is not being fired]

==============

So are we. Deeply.

Posted by: Those Who Are Deeply Concerned at September 14, 2026 07:10 PM (mmrXZ)

278 I wouldn't give talefreako a dollar much less buy a $35 Tshirt from him.

Posted by: lin-duh at September 14, 2026 07:10 PM (VCgbV)

279 267 204 Dammit, there's a dead mouse behind the dryer that stinks to high heaven, and the better half wants me to go get it out of there. So I have to move the dryer out. And my back is already killing me. Oof.
Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:54 PM (2Drhq)

Vacuum cleaner.
Posted by: Eromero at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (LHPAg)

Dangle the cat on a string.

Or a glue board. A glue board on a string- not on a cat.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 07:10 PM (zZu0s)

280 Vacuum cleaner.
Posted by: Eromero at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (LHPAg)

Please use the shop-vac if you have one. Getting old mouse parts out of a regular vacuum cleaner can be a bit tricky. And you really don't want that smell every time you use it again.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 07:11 PM (Ntshk)

281 265 Our coins were gold before 1933, too. The silver subsidiary coinage, and the gold coinage, were among the most beautiful coins intended for commerce ever produced. Everyone should own a $10 Eagle or $20 double Eagle just to look at real money once in a while. Gorgeous. I like the Walker half dollars.

When you see pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters and halves from that time period, they are almost always worn to the point of being unrecognizeable (known as "slicks" in the numismatic trade).

They were the workhorse of business and commerce. They traveled widely and fast. Think about that, the major denomination for shopping and purchases were 25c and 50c pieces. Pocket change had real purchasing power.
Posted by: Common Tater at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (No2m

Gold and silver coins? A waste.

Posted by: Greshams Law at September 14, 2026 07:11 PM (DwhNO)

282 Farfegnugen.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 07:11 PM (6ydKt)

283 Molasses cookies or Ginger snaps are pretty good with Coffee, I found. I like the way they crinkle on top out of the oven. Put a bit of black pepper and/or cayenne in the dough for a little bite.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 14, 2026 07:11 PM (No2m8)

284 Or a glue board. A glue board on a string- not on a cat.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 07:10 PM

Why not a glue board on a cat?

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 07:11 PM (4NO2D)

285 At her age, that is a serious uphill climb. Risky as hell, too, for the kid.
Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 07:09 PM (Ntshk

She is 37' she could do it if she wants. But the clock is ticking loudly.

Posted by: Piper at September 14, 2026 07:12 PM (ZdaMQ)

286 Meanwhile James Talarico:

"What if we ran our world like we run a kindergarten classroom? Because at the end of the day, aren't we all just really big kindergartners?"

Does this pervert think of anything other than little kids he can molest?

Fine job Texas firing that son of a bitch Cornyn, now make sure that Screwtape is sent off and forgotten—consoled with his millions in foreign campaign contributions.

Posted by: Community Notes at September 14, 2026 07:12 PM (NzX/y)

287 Let's fact it, there are no bad cookies. Or pies.

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 07:12 PM (4NO2D)

288 Schadenfreude.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 07:12 PM (5Go8e)

289 279 267 204 Dammit, there's a dead mouse behind the dryer that stinks to high heaven, and the better half wants me to go get it out of there. So I have to move the dryer out. And my back is already killing me. Oof.
Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 06:54 PM (2Drhq)

Vacuum cleaner.
Posted by: Eromero at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (LHPAg)

Dangle the cat on a string.

Or a glue board. A glue board on a string- not on a cat.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 07:10 PM (zZu0s)

Glue boards FTW

Posted by: Cow demon at September 14, 2026 07:12 PM (DwhNO)

290 They'll have to hold those divorce proceedings in a fuckin' armored bunker a hundred feet beneath the desert.

The army of deranged, dangerously overmedicated millennial Swifties outside will make these bloodthirsty Clancy fans look like a sewing circle.

It'll be like World War Z.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at September 14, 2026 07:12 PM (BI5O2)

291
Just leave it. The smell will go away, lol.

Posted by: four seasons at September 14, 2026 07:12 PM (/QHx4)

292 Why not a glue board on a cat?
Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 07:11 PM (4NO2D)

Nah, you'll never be able to use that glue board again.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 07:12 PM (zZu0s)

293 I was going through the old stuff from my mom and found this gorgeous little saucer with gold on the edges. Bone China, from England.

I looked it up online and it sells for ... a buck

people just don't want china any more.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 07:13 PM (K32Fz)

294 Let's fact it, there are no bad cookies. Or pies.
Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 07:12 PM (4NO2D)

I hate meringue. Disgusting.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 07:13 PM (zZu0s)

295 Snickerdoodle.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 07:13 PM (6ydKt)

296 Talarico's critical thinking skills topped out at learning to wipe his ass.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 07:14 PM (E0Et6)

297 Cobbler > Pie > Cake

Posted by: toby928(c) at September 14, 2026 07:14 PM (4NO2D)

298 My Dad would come home with Ginger Snaps sometimes.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 07:14 PM (5Go8e)

299 From last week discussion, bought dates yesterday, didn't open them yet

Posted by: Skip at September 14, 2026 07:14 PM (Ia/+0)

300 Snickerdoodle.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 07:13 PM (6ydKt)

Warm snickerdoodles are 'almost' as good as warm chocolate chip cookies.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 07:14 PM (zZu0s)

301

Cafe

Posted by: four seasons at September 14, 2026 07:15 PM (/QHx4)

302
Try a dollop of sour cream on your standard oreos...it's quite good. Double stuffs throw off the combo.
Posted by: connected and litigious

=============

Definitely a trap.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at September 14, 2026 07:15 PM (mmrXZ)

303 Let's fact it, there are no bad cookies

I dunno about that, those Danish cookies that come in sewing equipment cans are pretty bad

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 14, 2026 07:15 PM (K32Fz)

304 From last week discussion, bought dates yesterday, didn't open them yet
Posted by: Skip at September 14, 2026 07:14 PM (Ia/+0)

They're going to need air some time.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at September 14, 2026 07:15 PM (zZu0s)

305 Dead mouse. Throw some lime on it.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 14, 2026 07:15 PM (E0Et6)

306 Our scandi ice back relatives used to bring over plates of cookies around the holidays, some of them looked like the concrete bits or mortar that slough off when scraping a brick wall during construction. I'm not sure they tasted much better.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 14, 2026 07:15 PM (No2m8)

307 Stroopwafels.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 14, 2026 07:16 PM (6ydKt)

308 They're just Newtons now 'cuz they come in strawberry and blueberry too. They're both only marginally better than the fig.

Posted by: IrishEi?! at September 14, 2026 07:16 PM (3ImbR)

309 Glue Boards are reusable if you have a pair of pliers.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 07:16 PM (5Go8e)

310 Dryers are light.
Posted by: Boss Moss at September 14, 2026 07:09 PM (5Go8e)
----
But very, very awkward. Especially in a tight space.

I once had a small bunny rabbit that entered my dryer from the outside vent (the cover had fallen off, allowing it to get in).

That was a lot of fun trying to dig that little bunny rabbit out of my dryer. It made it out alive and well, though and was returned back to nature.

Where it was promptly eaten by a hawk (not really.)

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 14, 2026 07:16 PM (FZ29D)

311 When you see pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters and halves from that time period, they are almost always worn to the point of being unrecognizeable (known as "slicks" in the numismatic trade).

Posted by: Common Tater at September 14, 2026 07:08 PM (No2m

My great-grandpa gave my dad a silver dollar in about 1936, when dad was seven years old. He told him that it was his "bottom dollar." Dad carried that in his pocket until the day he died, at the age of 93. It was worn so smooth you could see only one little nick where the neckline of the imprinted bust was located. He used to pull it out and spin it on the table for little kids to play with. But he never gave it up.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 14, 2026 07:16 PM (Ntshk)

312 >>> Can you imagine having the ego to have a "wedding" at that sort of venue, filled with all your adoring worshippers?

It wasn't even worshippers! It was like any celebrity she had ever met, and even some she hadn't. And she staggered them in tiers, with the "best" celebs coming later, so you knew where you stood on the totem pole. Some were there for hours before things got started.

I think the sports celebs and their wives that came because of the groom were treated prettily shabbily. Tom Brady was photographed cutting out the second he could politely escape, good for him.

Posted by: LizLem at September 14, 2026 07:16 PM (Eng1Z)

313 Nabisco Ginger Snaps were like hard bits of cardboard or doubled as drink coasters. I still ate them, of course.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 14, 2026 07:17 PM (No2m8)

314 If I were in the Chiefs' front office, Keller would be cut and have his contract bought out the minute those divorce papers got filed... no single player is worth an outburst of bloody mob violence that kills 10,000 fans at Arrowhead.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at September 14, 2026 07:17 PM (BI5O2)

315 The Big Fig used to sing that the Fig Newton is a cake, and if you look up the old packaging, it says "Fig Newton Cakes" on it.

Posted by: fd at September 14, 2026 07:18 PM (MWfyi)

316 The washer and dryer sit in a cubby. No room on the side to get it with a broom or vacuum. I'd have to haul my carcass on top of the dryer and try and get it with the hose attachment from over the top. Easier to just shimmy it out and scoop it up. First World Problems.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 07:18 PM (2Drhq)

317 Found another sad movie, , only halfway through it.
Dead to Rights, a movie taking place in 1938 Rape of Nanking

Posted by: Skip at September 14, 2026 07:18 PM (Ia/+0)

318 I looked it up online and it sells for ... a buck people just don't want china any more.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

I know. I can't imagine that my son or DiL will want my china or crystal.

Posted by: Tuna at September 14, 2026 07:19 PM (lJ0H4)

319 Not sure if it counts as a cookie, but my grandma would send us a box of snacks for Xmas and always included homemade slovak nutroll pastry things. Not too sweet and awesome with tea. I probably should try to figure out how to make them.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 14, 2026 07:19 PM (HeG1i)

320 I used to go directly to Vick's grocery after collecting from my paper route and buy a metric crapload of candy bars. They aren't as good or as large as they were.

When money got tight, a Little Debby Nutty Bar was only a quarter, and you got two of them. Something like that. Pretty tasty.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 14, 2026 07:20 PM (No2m8)

321 The best store-bought cookies are from places like Sprouts and Whole Foods. Made from all real ingredients and none of that HFCS poison in them.

Oh well. Off to scoop up a dead mouse.

Posted by: Delurker at September 14, 2026 07:20 PM (2Drhq)

322 When money got tight, a Little Debby Nutty Bar was only a quarter, and you got two of them. Something like that. Pretty tasty.
Posted by: Common Tater

The secret with those is you have to take the layers apart.

Posted by: BruceWayne at September 14, 2026 07:21 PM (YZ0Fo)

323 227 Those smiling like a Jack ass kids who reenacted the Kirk murder need a good spanking.
Posted by: Tuna at September 14, 2026 06:58 PM (lJ0H4)

A good ass-kicking.

Posted by: Eromero at September 14, 2026 07:21 PM (LHPAg)

324 Whatever Dome Gloss Pressley uses must be good stuff. Have a couple of cars that need waxing. Wonder if it's expensive.

Posted by: Rub 'n' Tug at September 14, 2026 07:21 PM (Fn+3X)

325 315 The Big Fig used to sing that the Fig Newton is a cake, and if you look up the old packaging, it says "Fig Newton Cakes" on it.
Posted by: fd at September 14, 2026 07:18 PM (MWfyi)

“A cookie is just a cookie but Newtons are fruit and cake!”

Posted by: Cow demon at September 14, 2026 07:23 PM (DwhNO)

326 nood cafe

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 14, 2026 07:25 PM (HeG1i)

327 And all of you probably have to get ready for the big Emmy parties tonight. All of you have fun.

Posted by: Stateless - Ralphy 105 years old - puppy at heart at September 14, 2026 07:06 PM (Sco7b)

Parties? I'm sorry, but I won't be able to make it to all of them.

Posted by: Emmie at September 14, 2026 07:59 PM (OlzlW)

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