Saturday Night Club ONT - September 5, 2026 [Disco & Dino]

Welcome to Club ONT - a whelming collaboration of The Disco and The Dino.

Open thread - bar is open, too. Come in in, grab a drink or 2. Or 3. Keep it light and friendly. The moose out front is on troll patrol, so say a word of thanks as you pass by that the moose is on duty.

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Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

My son came home from school and said: “Dad, I got a part in the school play, I play a man who's been married 30 years."

I replied: “Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."

-----

A man loses three fingers in a work accident.

At the hospital he asks the doctor, “Will I be able to drive with this hand?"

The doctor replies, "Maybe. But I wouldn't count on it."

-----

My wife asked me, "Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating?"

So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents' house.

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Drink of the Night

A frozen drink for the unofficial last Saturday of summer. Dirty Banana

Ingredients
2 ounces rum
1 ounce banana liqueur
1 ounce coffee liqueur
2 ounces half-and-half (or 1 ounce heavy cream and 1 ounce whole milk)
1 banana, slightly overripe, cut into chunks
Garnish: banana chunk, with peel
Directions
Add all ingredients into a blender with a small (6 ounce) scoop of ice and blend until smooth.
Pour into a Collins glass.
Garnish with a banana chunk.

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Club ONT Department of Saying the Same Thing

Imma leave this here: pic.twitter.com/k9Ueisg8HL
— Julian (@JulianJiggsPigs) September 4, 2026

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Club ONT Department of Furniture Logic

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Club ONT Department of Timelines and New Testament Theology

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Club ONT Department of Social Media PR

From the Greensboro, North Carolina police department:

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Club ONT Jukebox

The 2002 original:

The 2019 enthusiastic one-man-band heavy metal for YouTube cover:

The brand new August 2026 cover:

The song has staying power!

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Top 10ish Comments of the Week

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Club ONT is brought to you by: dudes who get it

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There has been a noticeable decline in the amount of Chung Wanging here at Club ONT. Patrons are reminded that everybody is encouraged to have fun, which simply can not occur if everybody doesn't also Wang Chung.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Foist!

Posted by: Shen Nan I Gan at September 05, 2026 10:00 PM (Q0TA8)

2 Good evening good people.

Posted by: Tonypete at September 05, 2026 10:01 PM (WXg6e)

3 Not foist?

Posted by: Shen Nan I Gan at September 05, 2026 10:01 PM (Q0TA8)

4 *looks at photo*

That's a good start!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at September 05, 2026 10:01 PM (kpS4V)

5 Still looking for that letter to Experian to lock down my credit.
Be there as soon as I can.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:02 PM (ogcfP)

6 Oh! Y' snuck up on me. It's that time already, eh? Ok.

I'll have an America Dry Ginger Ale on the rocks, thanks.

Posted by: mindful webworker - with a twist of lime at September 05, 2026 10:02 PM (lnXv0)

7 Since when am I up this late?

Posted by: RI Red at September 05, 2026 10:04 PM (jkyX4)

8 Thanks for the ONT, D + D!

Posted by: LRob in OK at September 05, 2026 10:04 PM (Jr+re)

9 You want us to do what with our wangs??

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 05, 2026 10:04 PM (1Ff7Z)

10 Ninety Nine bottles of beer on the wall...

Posted by: davidt at September 05, 2026 10:04 PM (Q+gd/)

11 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at September 05, 2026 10:05 PM (wrXPz)

12 There are a bunch of duplicate bottles up top. I think the guy bought about 10 6-packs and there ya go!

Posted by: LRob in OK at September 05, 2026 10:05 PM (Jr+re)

13 It was my privilege today to view to one of the most Southern things ever. A very tall, pudgy young teen gal was wearing a crown, a lovely dress and a sash with the words 'Miss Spoonbread'. In a Buc-ee's.

And folks say Americana is dying. Sheesh.

Posted by: Tonypete at September 05, 2026 10:05 PM (WXg6e)

14 Tonypete, that's in the running for comment of the week!

Posted by: LRob in OK at September 05, 2026 10:07 PM (Jr+re)

15 Video behind the top pic reminds me,

That hot bartender gal's beautiful smile and twinkling eyes don't mean she's into you. She just wants a good tip.

Posted by: mindful webworker - honestly at September 05, 2026 10:08 PM (lnXv0)

16 I kind of get what douchebot Ryan Reynolds was saying, even though he was a kid in the 80's and doesnt know jack. According to the media, we were going to die in a nuclear holocaust (because of Reagan), if the AIDS (which was also Reagan's fault) didn't get you first. There was a lot of Cold War tension.

I had a bitchin time in that blessed decade, in the full flower of my youthful idiocy.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at September 05, 2026 10:09 PM (kpS4V)

17 Wow. Just saw an anti Abdul ad here in RI. I guess election season has begun.

Also, Dirty Banana is possibly the worst name for a drink in history.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:10 PM (viF8m)

18 I like corn in young beauties not in my gasoline.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at September 05, 2026 10:11 PM (zeRnp)

19 I also wang chunged a few nights in the 80s.

And I was like 10, so saying wang was still pretty funny at the time.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 05, 2026 10:12 PM (6ydKt)

20 >>Since when am I up this late?

Since you got off your ass and finally got a job.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:12 PM (viF8m)

21 I don't know who stole my anti-depressants, but I hope they're happy.

Posted by: proudvastrightwingguy at September 05, 2026 10:12 PM (MNCvZ)

22 Good evening Horde!

Posted by: TRex- mr spoonbread dino at September 05, 2026 10:13 PM (cCn4/)

23 I like corn in young beauties

So they can become Miss Spoonbread . . . . . .

Posted by: LRob in OK at September 05, 2026 10:13 PM (Jr+re)

24 Our Last Night is great! I think they have done some originals, but their covers really shine. Their Blank Space is really good and makes me wonder if Taylor Swift is an okay song writer.

Posted by: She Hobbit at September 05, 2026 10:14 PM (ftFVW)

25 Whoofreakinghoo! It another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody

https://tinyurl.com/2s4bz9w2

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 05, 2026 10:14 PM (uU94S)

26 17 Wow. Just saw an anti Abdul ad here in RI. I guess election season has begun.

Also, Dirty Banana is possibly the worst name for a drink in history.
Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:10 PM (viF8m)

Wait. How'd that work?

Are they tying him to other Dems? Racist Islamophobes..lol.

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:14 PM (Sco7b)

27 I lost my mood ring, and I don't know how to feel about it.

Posted by: proudvastrightwingguy at September 05, 2026 10:14 PM (MNCvZ)

28 Could not resist the call of ONT. Experian can wait.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:14 PM (ogcfP)

29 20 >>Since when am I up this late?

Since you got off your ass and finally got a job.
Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:12 PM (viF8m)

ha

I was thinking that maybe we cut EBT and SSDI and make people work.
What is the worse thing that happens?
They work they make more money then they work some more

Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 10:14 PM (/+uur)

30 It’s not a cocktail, it’s a milkshake with a surprise.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 05, 2026 10:15 PM (6ydKt)

31 That hot bartender gal's beautiful smile and twinkling eyes don't mean she's into you. She just wants a good tip.
Posted by: mindful webworker - honestly at September 05, 2026 10:08 PM (lnXv0)

But that's what I wanted to give her!

Posted by: Drunk at the Bar at September 05, 2026 10:15 PM (1Ff7Z)

32 28 Could not resist the call of ONT. Experian can wait.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:14 PM (ogcfP)

*huskie missing evening milkbone howl*

like that?

Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 10:16 PM (/+uur)

33 So, I slipped a ten-spot to the club hosts and they smiled and pocketed the bill and I still didn't get in the top comments.

And the valet drove off with my car.

What kind of place is this, anywho?

Posted by: mindful webworker - I was lied to about the method at September 05, 2026 10:16 PM (lnXv0)

34 It’s not a cocktail, it’s a milkshake with a surprise.
Posted by: SpeakingOf

I think I'll pass on the Dirty Banana Surprise.

Posted by: She Hobbit at September 05, 2026 10:17 PM (ftFVW)

35 If a man is talking in a forest, and there's no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Posted by: proudvastrightwingguy at September 05, 2026 10:17 PM (MNCvZ)

36 Who or what, is a Ryan Reynolds?
I keep seeing strange people in my news feeds and am clueless as to who they are and why anyone would care about what they think, say or do.

Posted by: Winston AKA Pops at September 05, 2026 10:18 PM (rFtAF)

37 Howdy, horde!

Thanks for another fine Club ONT, D&D!

Posted by: JQ at September 05, 2026 10:18 PM (rdVOm)

38 35 If a man is talking in a forest, and there's no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Posted by: proudvastrightwingguy

Only if he has his hands in his pockets.

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 05, 2026 10:18 PM (uU94S)

39 By the way, I know some of you bought SpaceX stock.

I received my first invoice from them. In my inbox from SpaceXai. Which is kind of cool.

My $0.31 AMERICAN is pushing AI to profitability. You're welcome.

And Chat is working now. I'm up to $0.064858. Again AMERICAN DOLLARS!!

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:19 PM (Sco7b)

40 And the valet drove off with my car.

---------

You leave your $80,000 item with a guy in a red vest and it should be safe, right?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero 43) at September 05, 2026 10:19 PM (4Je4D)

41 Did Connie Chung wang it all night?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 05, 2026 10:19 PM (Cqx++)

42 Evening, y'all! Thanks for the ONT, double-Ds. Time to do the Bible reading and fall asleep halfway through, wake up, finish, check the comments for anything fun going on, then go to sleep again.

...

(Day ending in -y, in other words)

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click!) at September 05, 2026 10:19 PM (nX8e6)

43 >>Wait. How'd that work?

I'm watching Western Michigan v. Michigan. Someone forgot to tell the young men from Western Michigan they can't win.

Sue me. I love underdogs.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:19 PM (viF8m)

44 *****Club ONT Department of Furniture Logic
---

Why is the face of a joiner's mallet angled?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:20 PM (ogcfP)

45 Wow. Just saw an anti Abdul ad here in RI. I guess election season has begun.

Also, Dirty Banana is possibly the worst name for a drink in history.
Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:10 PM (viF8m)

Wait. How'd that work?

Are they tying him to other Dems? Racist Islamophobes..lol.

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:14 PM (Sco7b)

I'm not islamophobic, I'm anti-barbarian.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at September 05, 2026 10:20 PM (qx7Zg)

46 Pops!!!!!

So glad your road trip from WA to FL and back got
You home safe!

How many miles did you drive?

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 05, 2026 10:20 PM (uU94S)

47 If a man is talking in a forest, and there's no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Posted by: proudvastrightwingguy

Tell me you've never been married without telling me you've never been married.

Posted by: She Hobbit at September 05, 2026 10:20 PM (ftFVW)

48 I am here!

Posted by: Piper at September 05, 2026 10:21 PM (ZdaMQ)

49 Sue me. I love underdogs.
Posted by: JackStraw

Boise St almost beat oregon. At home. Would have been glorious had the ducks lost.

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 05, 2026 10:22 PM (uU94S)

50 I'm not islamophobic, I'm anti-barbarian.
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at September 05, 2026 10:20 PM (qx7Zg)

They killed a dolphin in Spain. It was on zerohedge and Gateway.

That used to be great to get the lib women onto our side, but they've moved onto kids....sadly. So dolphins....meh.

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:22 PM (Sco7b)

51 Paxton sued and won against Biden 7 or 8 times out of 10.
Paxton destroyed the Bushes like Trump destroyed the Clintons and Obama.
He beat the (D) in an impeachment.

He is the best Senator Candidate ever.

Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 10:23 PM (/+uur)

52

Spoonbread is a moist cornmeal dish from the Southern United States that’s soft enough to be served and eaten with a spoon. It’s baked with cornmeal, milk, butter, and eggs, and it comes out more like a savory pudding than crumbly cornbread.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 05, 2026 10:23 PM (Cqx++)

53 Yusef Stevens? Kinda overproduced. Had to go listen to Sam Cooke to make up for it.

https://youtu.be/82Zee5X70EQ

Posted by: mindful webworker - wish I had some chick to 'talk' to at September 05, 2026 10:24 PM (lnXv0)

54 Finally sorted out the rebuild of the back deck number 4.

The back decks have many levels and the builders where fans of MC Escher, so making picture frame borders required some intense angle figuratin'

Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 05, 2026 10:24 PM (XV/Pl)

55 I am here!
Posted by: Piper

Oh crap, did I miss roll call?

Posted by: She Hobbit at September 05, 2026 10:25 PM (ftFVW)

56 "They killed a dolphin in Spain"

If they ate it, that's one thing. If they did it for nothing but flamboyant sadistic pleasure, that's another.

Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 10:25 PM (Jr5Lq)

57 Hiya Nurse
5800 miles plus three days in Wamsutter, WY. Not jail, they don't have one. I did miss out on the town bake sale though.
If Kafka had written Hotel California and made it weird, that would be an apt description.
I'm still trying to decide the story of this trip as an epic poem. It does have Sirens, shipwrecks and stupidity.

Posted by: Winston AKA Pops at September 05, 2026 10:25 PM (rFtAF)

58 And look how many of you ate here too! Yay!

Posted by: Piper at September 05, 2026 10:25 PM (ZdaMQ)

59 if you have ever seen a Mint Mobile commercial in the past several years, that was Ryan Reynolds.

He’s an actor, originally from Canada who, until now, was relatively good at keeping his foot out of his mouth.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 05, 2026 10:25 PM (6ydKt)

60 My buddy had his left side amputated.
Now he's all right.

Posted by: proudvastrightwingguy at September 05, 2026 10:25 PM (MNCvZ)

61 48 I am here!
Posted by: Piper at September 05, 2026 10:21 PM (ZdaMQ)

Your puppy in the Pet Thread was adorable.

Kid's show "The Thundermans" have a new movie. Maya posted pictures. She was dressed up in sneakers. I'm always going to laugh and think of you when I see that.

Comfortable though. Good for her.

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:26 PM (Sco7b)

62 Question for the X-philes.

Has X left any of the viewers for people who don't want an X account? Or have X's attorneys hit all of them with Cease and Desist?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at September 05, 2026 10:26 PM (qx7Zg)

63 58 *are here. Oh boy.

Posted by: Piper at September 05, 2026 10:26 PM (ZdaMQ)

64 56 "They killed a dolphin in Spain"

If they ate it, that's one thing. If they did it for nothing but flamboyant sadistic pleasure, that's another.
Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 10:25 PM (Jr5Lq)

muslims.

Want to place a bet?

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:27 PM (Sco7b)

65 Took me a moment to get the "Bro...spoilers meme.

Posted by: Joemarine at September 05, 2026 10:27 PM (y171U)

66 JackStraw, in R. I.? I wonder why. Now in Michigan, we're being subjected to pro Abdul ads constantly. Fortunately I have a mute button.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 05, 2026 10:27 PM (0Htd1)

67 63 58 *are here. Oh boy.
Posted by: Piper at September 05, 2026 10:26 PM (ZdaMQ)

Careful, everyone! Piper's cats are looking for some hobo stew!

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at September 05, 2026 10:28 PM (qx7Zg)

68 Wang Chung!

Dandy little Club ONT. Thanks, Disco and Dino!

I shall pass on the Dirty Banana. A bit too sweet for my taste.

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at September 05, 2026 10:28 PM (D/6p1)

69 >>Boise St almost beat oregon. At home. Would have been glorious had the ducks lost.

I love winning like a fat kid loves cake. But even more I love when people who are told they have no chance play their hearts out even if they lose.

Makes me happy.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:28 PM (viF8m)

70
Comfortable though. Good for her.
Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:26 PM (Sco7b

Awww! Thank you. He is really cute. He is currently stuck to me because I was gone a lot today, which is against the rules. I just got home from dinner with a friend and he is telling me I am absolutely not leaving again.

Posted by: Piper at September 05, 2026 10:28 PM (ZdaMQ)

71 Wamsutter, WY?

Oh Lord. What did you DO?

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 05, 2026 10:28 PM (uU94S)

72 I just now had an AI compose a musical piece for me for the first time, a short jingle for a radio station identifier. Suno sucked, but Gemini gave me Solid Gold! It's perfect! Far beyond expectations. It probably cost at least 10kWh of energy to generate; took long enough.

Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 10:28 PM (Jr5Lq)

73 Mars is very bright red tonight (if that was, in fact, Mars).

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at September 05, 2026 10:29 PM (kpS4V)

74 I am here!
Posted by: Piper

Look! [Points like Sophie Cunningham] She are there!

Posted by: mindful webworker - she calls the tune at September 05, 2026 10:29 PM (lnXv0)

75 And the valet drove off with my car.
What kind of place is this, anywho?
Posted by: mindful webworker - I was lied to about the method

Don't worry, he'll bring your car back after he's done fu**ing his girlfriend in it. You might want to throw out the used condoms.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 05, 2026 10:31 PM (0Htd1)

76 Having some nice bourbon and sour patch gummies.

And some super sharp cheddar with some pretzels and mustard.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 05, 2026 10:31 PM (XV/Pl)

77 66 JackStraw, in R. I.? I wonder why. Now in Michigan, we're being subjected to pro Abdul ads constantly. Fortunately I have a mute button.
Posted by: nerdygirl at September 05, 2026 10:27 PM (0Htd1)

I'm right across the border. There have been a few anti-Abdul ads. The "I am dangerous" ones.

MS Now had a segment where they showed President Trump had $403 million to spend. Others here pointed out they were probably waiting about 5 weeks before the election.

So, enjoy any non-political ads now.

Mike Rogers has had a few nice ads but the ones linking him to high gas prices were kind of brutal.

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:31 PM (Sco7b)

78 Has X left any of the viewers for people who don't want an X account? Or have X's attorneys hit all of them with Cease and Desist?
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at September 05, 2026 10:26 PM (qx7Zg)

TwitterViewer was the last one left, I believe, and X got them to throw in the towel last week.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 05, 2026 10:32 PM (6ydKt)

79 Hit some road debris. on I-80. Two tires and a U joint. I was very lucky to have made it there. Only repair shop between Rawlins and Rock Springs. Three nights sleeping in the car and four days to get parts in and on my way.
No laws were broken. I told the shop people that they needed to get me on the road or adopt me.

Posted by: Winston AKA Pops at September 05, 2026 10:32 PM (rFtAF)

80 Boise St almost beat oregon. At home. Would have been glorious had the ducks lost.

I love winning like a fat kid loves cake. But even more I love when people who are told they have no chance play their hearts out even if they lose.

Makes me happy.
Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:28 PM (viF8m)

My favorite football game *ever* was Boise State vs Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl some years ago. BSU was 12-0, but were the underdog. It was the most amazing, gritty game I ever saw. Jared Zabarnsky was a boss.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at September 05, 2026 10:32 PM (NHymq)

81 Mike Rogers has had a few nice ads but the ones linking him to high gas prices were kind of brutal.
Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:31 PM (Sco7b)

I know this will not make a diff but commuting fuel is <2% of the average families budget.

Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 10:32 PM (/+uur)

82 Evening, Disco and Dino, and ONT Horde!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 05, 2026 10:34 PM (1z8ji)

83 My favorite football game *ever* was Boise State vs Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl some years ago.

Ahem. There are morons here who didn't see that as particularly "good" . . . . . . . . .

Posted by: LRob in OK at September 05, 2026 10:34 PM (Jr+re)

84 Nobody kills a dolphin to eat it. Not that kind.

They killed it because that's who they are. Evil fucks.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:35 PM (viF8m)

85 I would like to make a person to person collect call to AoSHQ. My name is Legion. Yes, I will hold.

Posted by: My Name is Legion at September 05, 2026 10:35 PM (scds1)

86 62 Question for the X-philes.

Try e.g. nitter.click/username

Posted by: Shen Nan I Gan at September 05, 2026 10:36 PM (Q0TA8)

87 How lazy are you?
--------
On a scale of motivated to medically concerning inaction?

Posted by: scampydog at September 05, 2026 10:36 PM (LVaYG)

88 Michigan is getting ready to screw the pooch.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at September 05, 2026 10:36 PM (5shF5)

89 Whang Chung, Horde!
Happy Saturday!

Posted by: Iris at September 05, 2026 10:37 PM (286+n)

90 I know this will not make a diff but commuting fuel is

Posted by: r hennigantx
---

How much was it at this time in '24, 23, 22?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:37 PM (ogcfP)

91 Who or what, is a Ryan Reynolds?
I keep seeing strange people in my news feeds and am clueless as to who they are and why anyone would care about what they think, say or do.
Posted by: Winston AKA Pops at September 05, 2026 10:18 PM (rFtAF)

Yeah. There is a metric fuckton of "celebrities" whose very existence completely escaped my notice until they did something assholish and got ragged on for it here.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 05, 2026 10:39 PM (1z8ji)

92 I know this will not make a diff but commuting fuel is
Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 10:32 PM (/+uur)

Hope so.

Or vote for the muslim.

I still believe a ton of the electorate doesn't pay attention. We're here and know stuff. But CNN had less than 700,000 viewers, MS Now - about 1,700,000.

AI says the nightly broadcasts to the elderly and shut-ins is about 20 million.

CBC had a segment about Canada's trade war with the US. By the way, you're in a trade war with Canada if you didn't know. They featured Abdul.

But I really wondered, how many people did they have to talk to before they found people knowing about sanctions.

Yay!! On time. Chat just finished. Trillions of dollars - AMERICAN DOLLARS - are being spent on AI and I just contributed....give me a second..

API cost - $0.194253.
AMERICAN DOLLARS!!

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:39 PM (Sco7b)

93 "I know this will not make a diff but commuting fuel is

Of course it also figures into the cost of everything else too, particularly transpo, with diesel so high.

Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 10:42 PM (Jr5Lq)

94 "Man, if I was back home, I'd be swingin',
two chicks on my arm." —Sam Cooke

https://bit.ly/two-chicks-on-my-arm

Posted by: mindful webworker - or, thailand on shore leave at September 05, 2026 10:43 PM (lnXv0)

95 Yusef Stevens? Kinda overproduced. Had to go listen to Sam Cooke to make up for it.

https://youtu.be/82Zee5X70EQ
Posted by: mindful webworker - wish I had some chick to 'talk' to at September 05, 2026 10:24 PM (lnXv0)

Isn't "Yusef" Stevens really Cat Stevens, the singer who went all musloid and called himself Yusuf Islam? He can gargle with Drano.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 05, 2026 10:43 PM (1z8ji)

96
Yeah, the Michigan socialist ads are a drag.

Makes you long for the quiet poetry of the Art Van commercials.

Posted by: Auspex at September 05, 2026 10:44 PM (Y8DZL)

97 How much was it at this time in '24, 23, 22?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:37 PM (ogcfP)

2%

its just 2%

(D) love 2% solutions

Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 10:44 PM (/+uur)

98 how many people make min wages in PA

2%

Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 10:44 PM (/+uur)

99 tell me a (D) issue and I will prove it is 2%

Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 10:45 PM (/+uur)

100 >>>Yeah. There is a metric fuckton of "celebrities" whose very existence completely escaped my notice until they did something assholish and got ragged on for it here.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon
------

Alien names coming to the HQ repetitively.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:46 PM (ogcfP)

101 35 sec
Michigan losing

Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 10:46 PM (/+uur)

102 Why Patrick Clancy did it.

Maryam
@hell_line0
Just to clarify:
Patrick Clancy walked away with his 400k Microsoft job, the 1.7M gofundme, a life insurance payout on all 3 kids, and funds from the sale of the house, plus a new wife and a new kid,
Meanwhile, Lindsay Clancy is left with no kids, no money, no house, no job, no legs, and maybe no freedom.
Where PC would have paid millions for alimony / child support in divorce, he makes 4-6 million off of their deaths.
Money is the root of 90% of crime, but that’s not suspicious to police?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Putting the Genie Back In the Bible at September 05, 2026 10:46 PM (ndZc7)

103 88 Michigan is getting ready to screw the pooch.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory

"Getting ready to"? Whitmer and her galpals have been screwing us over for a while now. During the so-called pandemic, she inflicted a bunch of rules on us, while she and her husband ignored said rules. I hate that scrunt.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 05, 2026 10:47 PM (0Htd1)

104 Nobody kills a dolphin to eat it. Not that kind.

They killed it because that's who they are. Evil fucks.
Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:35 PM (viF8m)

Time to fill the spray tanks of a cropduster with gasoline, make a few passes over the mob, then fire a flare at them once the plane is safely away.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 05, 2026 10:48 PM (1z8ji)

105 Makes you long for the quiet poetry of the Art Van commercials.
Posted by: Auspex at September 05, 2026 10:44 PM (Y8DZL)
----

Ollie Fretter!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at September 05, 2026 10:48 PM (kpS4V)

106 Diesel is close to $8/gal. in Cali.
@ 250 gallons that’s a cool $2000 to fill it up.

That’s a chunk of change to move freight, there.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 05, 2026 10:48 PM (6ydKt)

107 >>And the valet drove off with my car.

Valet? What valet?

Posted by: Nazdar at September 05, 2026 10:48 PM (NcvvS)

108 >>>I still believe a ton of the electorate doesn't pay attention. We're here and know stuff. But CNN had less than 700,000 viewers, MS Now - about 1,700,000.
---

Buddy, my old friend, watches that crap to see what they are selling but he's watched it so much he thinks Talaripo has a chance to beat Paxton.

I think he's in first stage dementia.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:49 PM (ogcfP)

109 CBC had a segment about Canada's trade war with the US. By the way, you're in a trade war with Canada if you didn't know.
Who cares? We can get our maple syrup from Vermont.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 05, 2026 10:49 PM (0Htd1)

110 106 Diesel is close to $8/gal. in Cali.
@ 250 gallons that’s a cool $2000 to fill it up.
---

Can't gauge anything by CA.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:50 PM (ogcfP)

111 Bang.

Love it.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:50 PM (viF8m)

112 Lift the tail Michigan. You screwed the pooch.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at September 05, 2026 10:50 PM (5shF5)

113 Isn't "Yusef" Stevens really Cat Stevens, the singer who went all musloid and called himself Yusuf Islam? He can gargle with Drano.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

But where will the children play? Sob

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 05, 2026 10:51 PM (0Htd1)

114 I would like to make a person to person collect call to AoSHQ. My name is Legion. Yes, I will hold.
Posted by: My Name is Legion

[(Plays Herman's Hermits Henry the VIII on endless loop for on-hold muzak)]

Posted by: mindful webworker - your call is at September 05, 2026 10:52 PM (lnXv0)

115 Not all heroes wear capes.

Bill Melugin
@BillMelugin_
Lindsey Clancy defense attorney Kevin Reddington says he’s “so proud” of the jury foreperson, who he says was a female, for identifying the lone juror who was holding out and calling it out in a note to the court.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Putting the Genie Back In the Bible at September 05, 2026 10:52 PM (ndZc7)

116
Gas prices here went from $3.29 last week to $3.57 this week. The price today? $3.29.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 05, 2026 10:52 PM (eRlcH)

117 Let's try an old ad with a new twist.

(Middle-aged woman in plaid polyester suit)

Hi. I'm Pearl Scheib, and I'll paint your face for only $199.95. We've got all the colors you might want to look your best.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at September 05, 2026 10:53 PM (qx7Zg)

118 102 Why Patrick Clancy did it.

Maryam
@hell_line0
Just to clarify:
Patrick Clancy walked away with his 400k Microsoft job, the 1.7M gofundme, a life insurance payout on all 3 kids, and funds from the sale of the house, plus a new wife and a new kid,
Meanwhile, Lindsay Clancy is left with no kids, no money, no house, no job, no legs, and maybe no freedom.
Where PC would have paid millions for alimony / child support in divorce, he makes 4-6 million off of their deaths.
Money is the root of 90% of crime, but that’s not suspicious to police?
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks,

You know, in more civilized times, we used to burn witches.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at September 05, 2026 10:53 PM (wrXPz)

119 "a cool $2000 to fill it up."

Go for the coolest fillup you can find. Diesel is denser at colder temps. Purchased by vol, you get a little bit more for your buck when served cold.

Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 10:53 PM (Jr5Lq)

120 Money is the root of 90% of crime, but that’s not suspicious to police?
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Putting the Genie Back In the Bible at September 05, 2026 10:46 PM (ndZc7)

These people all pretend that Lindsay didn’t admit that she killed her children and that her lawyer didn’t stipulate this in court.

Besides, her husband is on camera, tracked on his cellphone and has witnesses attesting that he was outside the home when the children were murdered by their mother.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 05, 2026 10:53 PM (6ydKt)

121 Diesel is close to $8/gal. in Cali.
@ 250 gallons that’s a cool $2000 to fill it up.
---
Can't gauge anything by CA.
Posted by: Braenyard
---------

But it *does* figure into cost of goods. Lil bro is a trucker & must deliver into calizuela sometimes. Must buy some fuel there, although he usually buys just enough to get the h3ll out & fill up in NV or AZ.

Posted by: JQ at September 05, 2026 10:54 PM (rdVOm)

122 You gotta be shitting me.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 10:54 PM (viF8m)

123 Isn't "Yusef" Stevens really Cat Stevens, the singer who went all musloid and called himself Yusuf Islam? He can gargle with Drano.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Yeah, that was the yoke, mashing up his deadname and his deader name.

Posted by: mindful webworker - don't deadname that joint, my fren at September 05, 2026 10:54 PM (lnXv0)

124 Wow. Spoke too soon.

This shit is fixed.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at September 05, 2026 10:54 PM (5shF5)

125
Article on Daily Mail.

Sad hourly punishment the evil piece of shit suffers.

Didn't read it, *uck off evil bitch.

Posted by: four seasons at September 05, 2026 10:55 PM (/QHx4)

126 A third of Canadas GDP are exports to the US.

I don't think the people who are running Canada have the Canadian's best interests at heart.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 05, 2026 10:55 PM (XV/Pl)

127 Vermont.

Posted by: nerdygirl
---

Ruh Roh

https://youtu.be/8J5XBZekdmE&t=19

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:55 PM (ogcfP)

128 Rigged.

There were four different offensive fouls there

Michigan cheats. It’s not even worth watching.

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 05, 2026 10:55 PM (+baEI)

129 They decided to put 1 sec on the clock

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at September 05, 2026 10:56 PM (5shF5)

130 Michigan cheated.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at September 05, 2026 10:57 PM (wrXPz)

131 Buddy, my old friend, watches that crap to see what they are selling but he's watched it so much he thinks Talaripo has a chance to beat Paxton.

I think he's in first stage dementia.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 10:49 PM (ogcfP)

That's hilarious.
And you know I've been busy but like to pass through, see what the hell they are saying and post it her.

Also, Iran is winning. Or at least a stalemate. Trump is getting rich by being President. And punishing his enemies.

It really is disturbing how we are in COMPLETELY different worlds. I'd love to point out that we knew Biden's brain was pudding 5 years ago, but few would listen.

I'd love to see someone come up with some AI of Talarico playing Peter Pan surrounded by 50 or so Brazilian and Philipino tweenage boys.

If he was offered such a part, I think he'd leave politics..

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 10:57 PM (Sco7b)

132 Joanna whats-her-name at Daily Beast ragging on DJT's hair again, and yet seems completely unaware that she herself is going bald on top. Plain as day.

Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 10:57 PM (Jr5Lq)

133 In my area of Michigan diesel is $5.80. Regular gas is just under $4.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 05, 2026 10:58 PM (0Htd1)

134 A frozen drink for the unofficial last Saturday of summer. Dirty Banana
____________________________

Me: "Seriously, that needs to be added to the Denny's Breakfast Menu."

Some guy in California: "Seriously, that needs to be added to the $25 special deal menu at Stan's Greek Bathhouse and Glory Hole Emporium."

Posted by: Orson at September 05, 2026 10:59 PM (dIske)

135 W Michigan got robbed.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at September 05, 2026 11:00 PM (5shF5)

136 Nothing like removing tack strips to make you long for office work.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at September 05, 2026 11:00 PM (+9wcF)

137 Evening, ever'body,

We just finished watching Dark Angel, an historical BBC drama about one Mary Ann Cotton (aka Mowbray), a 19th-century Scots woman who murdered with arsenic between 13 and 21 people . . . a lot of them her family, including several children, a couple of husbands, and her own mother. Joann Froggatt of Downton Abbey fame plays the title role, and is superb.

It's a downer of a film, as you might expect from the subject matter, and is filmed in a lot of scenes with that dim blue lighting that everybody uses nowadays. But it's gripping.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at September 05, 2026 11:00 PM (wzUl9)

138 Current diesel price buzzwords: 'crack spread.'

Heh.

Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 11:00 PM (Jr5Lq)

139 ---------

But it *does* figure into cost of goods. Lil bro is a trucker & must deliver into calizuela sometimes. Must buy some fuel there, although he usually buys just enough to get the h3ll out & fill up in NV or AZ.

Posted by: JQ
---

Tucking another 50 gal or so under the chassis would quickly pay for itself if going to CA only a few times a year.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 05, 2026 11:00 PM (ogcfP)

140
I don't think the people who are running Canada have the Canadian's best interests at heart.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 05, 2026 10:55 PM (XV/Pl)

__________

They're getting smoosh from the Chinx. So screw the rest of Canada. Like NYC doesn't care if upstate starves in the most extreme poverty.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 05, 2026 11:01 PM (eRlcH)

141 Wow.

Michigan comes back from the dead

Greetings Horde

Posted by: Zeera , Damn Right I voted for all of this! at September 05, 2026 11:02 PM (MNntk)

142 "Nothing like removing tack strips to make you long for office work."

Is that the stuff that holds down wall-to-wall carpet on the edges? I've been removing a bunch too.

Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 11:02 PM (Jr5Lq)

143 I don't think the people who are running Canada have the Canadian's best interests at heart.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 05, 2026 10:55 PM (XV/Pl)

EU GDP was about $20T in 2020 same a US
US is now almost $40T
Thet are $20T

Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 11:03 PM (/+uur)

144 You know.

At some point normal people are going to stop watching. Even on free tv. I don’t pay for tv or internet. I use rabbit ears for the teevee (living on the beach, the signals are scrambled, I get 15 or so channels) and my cellphone gives me internet. I don’t have a laptop. I don’t have a desktop.

If I’m listening to or observing a sporting event, it’s free.

But this rigged shit is repulsive. Even for free.

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 05, 2026 11:03 PM (+baEI)

145 Western Michigan got screwed. That game was over.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 11:03 PM (viF8m)

146 Is that the stuff that holds down wall-to-wall carpet on the edges? I've been removing a bunch too.

Yep, that's the stuff. I'm pulling some up that's been nailed to concrete for about 40 years.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at September 05, 2026 11:03 PM (+9wcF)

147 And I remember Art Van.

In my part of Canada, we had the Canadian channels but also Detroit ABC, NBC, CBS, channel 50, 20 and PBS. It was a smorgasbord of entertainment for the time.

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 11:03 PM (Sco7b)

148 Tucking another 50 gal or so under the chassis would quickly pay for itself if going to CA only a few times a year.

Posted by: Braenyard

He doesn't own the truck. Goes to CA dozens of times per year. Boss buys the fuel, but bro tries to be frugal for him.

Posted by: JQ at September 05, 2026 11:04 PM (rdVOm)

149 Joanna whats-her-name at Daily Beast ragging on DJT's hair again, and yet seems completely unaware that she herself is going bald on top. Plain as day.
Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 10:57 PM (Jr5Lq)

Betcha she pays good money to stay bald down below.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 05, 2026 11:04 PM (1z8ji)

150 Last night we watched 2006's Hollywoodland, about the mystery surrounding the death of George Reeves in 1959. A depressing movie too, and it never gets up the courage to say, "Here's what really happened with George's death"; instead it plays with three different scenarios.

I guess what I hate is Adrien Brody as the "private eye" doing the investigation. He's hardly leading man material, even after the Seventies changed what a leading man could look like. He has a nose like a hatchet blade, and is spindly as well. At least we get Ben Affleck as George, and he's excellent; Robin Tunney, as Reeves's fiancee at the time of his death; and her friend, played by 90210's Kathleen Robertson.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at September 05, 2026 11:04 PM (wzUl9)

151
EU GDP was about $20T in 2020 same a US
US is now almost $40T
Thet are $20T
Posted by: r hennigantx at September 05, 2026 11:03 PM (/+uur)

__________

The EU doesn't innovate. When they do, they can't monetize it. If they monetize it, they regulate it to death.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 05, 2026 11:05 PM (eRlcH)

152 Finished removing all the second floor w-w carpet this week. First floor still has four rooms to tear out. The foam rubber bedding underneath has disintegrated to powder. So nasty.

Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 11:06 PM (Jr5Lq)

153 And unless there’s another fund for Patrick Clancy the GiveSendGo fund is listing Lindsay’s parents as the beneficiaries of the money to go towards their expenses and to spend on medical care for Lindsay. Patrick doesn’t get a dime as he is divorced from Lindsay.

These cultish types want Patrick to be guilty of something for God knows what reasons.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 05, 2026 11:06 PM (6ydKt)

154 Betcha she pays good money to stay bald down below.

--------

Probably like a brazillian dollars.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero 43) at September 05, 2026 11:06 PM (4Je4D)

155
We pulled up carpet that we discovered was covering beautiful oak floors. Dang, it sucked stepping on tacks we missed.

Posted by: four seasons at September 05, 2026 11:06 PM (/QHx4)

156
Western Michigan got screwed. That game was over.
Posted by: JackStraw at September 05, 2026 11:03 PM (viF8m)

_________

If Michigan loses, they might not make the playoff. Can't have that.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 05, 2026 11:07 PM (eRlcH)

157 The LSU game is pretty boring. The UGA game was like a basketball score.

Posted by: Piper at September 05, 2026 11:07 PM (ZdaMQ)

158 Probably like a brazillian dollars.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero 43) at September 05, 2026 11:06 PM (4Je4D)

Ha ha

Posted by: Piper at September 05, 2026 11:08 PM (ZdaMQ)

159 Don't talk to me....Svengoolie's on...haven't watched him in over a month....

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's phone) at September 05, 2026 11:08 PM (QGaXH)

160 The EU doesn't innovate. When they do, they can't monetize it. If they monetize it, they regulate it to death.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 05, 2026 11:05 PM (eRlcH)

…and tax it as many times as possible with VAT and other taxes.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 05, 2026 11:09 PM (6ydKt)

161 157 The LSU game is pretty boring. The UGA game was like a basketball score.
Posted by: Piper at September 05, 2026 11:07 PM (ZdaMQ)

Men's or "Women's"?

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 11:09 PM (Sco7b)

162
This is a bad time in the season for college football. The big boys play the Little Sisters of the Poor for the first couple of weeks.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 05, 2026 11:09 PM (eRlcH)

163 Ryan Reynolds is an actor from a couple of movies.

Now he thinks he's a scholar and sage. When he goes on the lecture circuit I want first row tickets. When he makes it to the TED Talks, I want to be there to embrace his wisdom as a witness like one of the disciples at the last supper.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at September 05, 2026 11:09 PM (eP2ub)

164 And unless there’s another fund for Patrick Clancy the GiveSendGo fund is listing Lindsay’s parents as the beneficiaries of the money to go towards their expenses and to spend on medical care for Lindsay. Patrick doesn’t get a dime as he is divorced from Lindsay.

These cultish types want Patrick to be guilty of something for God knows what reasons.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 05, 2026 11:06 PM (6ydKt)

Somebody should start a GiveSendGo fund for the holdout juror, for him to hire bodyguards, get a concealed-carry permit, and buy a nice hard-shooting pistol, to protect himself from all the crazies.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 05, 2026 11:10 PM (1z8ji)

165 We pulled up carpet that we discovered was covering beautiful oak floors. Dang, it sucked stepping on tacks we missed.

Posted by: four seasons at September 05, 2026 11:06 PM (/QHx4)

Get a flathead shovel and run it across the floor like you’re scraping an iced over windshield and it’ll pull them all out.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at September 05, 2026 11:11 PM (6ydKt)

166 56 "They killed a dolphin in Spain"

If they ate it, that's one thing. If they did it for nothing but flamboyant sadistic pleasure, that's another.

Posted by: gp at September 05, 2026 10:25 PM (Jr5Lq)

They're muzzies, why do you think they killed it?

(Hint: It wasn't because they were hungry)

Posted by: a.moron at September 05, 2026 11:11 PM (X5Jzz)

167 The Left Hand is always there. Waiting patiently.

Good night folks.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at September 05, 2026 11:11 PM (CHHv1)

168
There is now a fundraiser for the evil bitch.

It's not go fund me. It raised 1 million dollars pretty immediately yesterday. Goal is 3 million.

Posted by: four seasons at September 05, 2026 11:12 PM (/QHx4)

169 163 Ryan Reynolds is an actor from a couple of movies.

Now he thinks he's a scholar and sage. When he goes on the lecture circuit I want first row tickets. When he makes it to the TED Talks, I want to be there to embrace his wisdom as a witness like one of the disciples at the last supper.
Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at September 05, 2026 11:09 PM (eP2ub)

I actually have him on now on Amazon's 'Hail Mary' movie in the background as I'm working and contributing $0.075608 AMERICAN DOLLARS to the AI industry.

Indifferent to him. The plus side of liking kid's shows is they don't piss you off. Victoria Justice is 33 now by the way. Looks amazing.

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at September 05, 2026 11:13 PM (Sco7b)

170 I also was a younger child of the 80s, and I still think wang is funny today. Growing older is not optional, but up is.

Posted by: AnchorPoint at September 05, 2026 11:13 PM (V9pbl)

171
In a state not Massholechusetts, Clancy would have had to prove she was insane. But there, all she has to do is assert it and the state has to prove she wasn't. This is the stupidest thing in the history of law.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 05, 2026 11:13 PM (eRlcH)

172 I went out and cleared some bunches of filberts today. It is nice to get out and use a chainsaw for stupid tasks.

Posted by: Kindltot at September 05, 2026 11:13 PM (rbvCR)

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