Mid-Morning Art Thread

Florinda
Franz Xaver Winterhalter

Posted by: CBD at 09:31 AM

Comments

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1 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:30 AM (ccf/V)

2 TITTAYS!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:30 AM (ccf/V)

3 And I'm lookin.....

At yo tittays....

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:30 AM (ccf/V)

4 Nice.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at August 21, 2026 09:30 AM (ExV1e)

5 So many bewbs - so little time.

Posted by: Tonypete at August 21, 2026 09:31 AM (Y8Lgz)

6 A gaggle of perky little titties.

Me like. Me like a lot. Makes for a better day.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:31 AM (ccf/V)

7 Bountiful Beautiful Boobies.

Best.

Posted by: Defenestratus at August 21, 2026 09:31 AM (WYStd)

8 Oooh....and the one has the dimples in her lower back.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:32 AM (ccf/V)

9 Ass, too.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at August 21, 2026 09:32 AM (1mOP2)

10 Not knowing the term, I asked Brave what "Florinda" means. Lovely painting, by the way.

Florinda is a feminine given name of Spanish, Portuguese, and Latin origin, meaning "flower," "blooming," or "flourishing." It is an elaborated form of Flora or Flor, derived from the Latin word flos (flower).

The name is culturally associated with beauty, vitality, and nature. In Spanish legend, Florinda la Cava was a legendary figure whose beauty captivated the king and led to the downfall of the Visigothic kingdom.

Posted by: Huck Follywood at August 21, 2026 09:32 AM (1KK9q)

11 You know about the cup sizes?

Posted by: Frank Costanza at August 21, 2026 09:33 AM (2Ez/1)

12 Winter Halter.

Posted by: Boss Moss at August 21, 2026 09:33 AM (2MN4W)

13 From Wiki...

"[Florinda] La Cava was the daughter (or in some early accounts, wife) of Count Julian, a figure whose historicity is doubtful.[1] According to the earliest Arabic accounts, he was the Christian governor of Ceuta under the last Visigothic king, Roderic, a figure whose historicity is certain."

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at August 21, 2026 09:34 AM (l3cgK)

14 Perky gingers-what's not to like-4 Stars!

Posted by: Do You Like Boobs-a-lot? at August 21, 2026 09:34 AM (JM9I6)

15 Wow, very nice. Thank you, CBD.

Posted by: Bulg at August 21, 2026 09:34 AM (77rzZ)

16 Not knowing the term, I asked Brave what "Florinda" means. Lovely painting, by the way.

I asked google and it said:

"A common name in the African American community predominantly found in lower income neighborhoods."

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:34 AM (ccf/V)

17 Florinda is a feminine name of Spanish origin meaning "blooming flower," symbolizing beauty, grace, and vitality.

-
They blooming all right.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Oh yeah? Well, You're Another One! at August 21, 2026 09:34 AM (ndZc7)

18 Not the Disney World I recall....

Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 21, 2026 09:35 AM (2Cry5)

19 "The name is culturally associated with beauty, vitality, and nature."

Hey, you could probably name a state after that.

Posted by: Nyaaaah... at August 21, 2026 09:35 AM (2Ez/1)

20 Friday boobs. Like the guy on the upper left who looks like he's about to sniff panties
Would hang.
Thx CBD , have a great weekend

Posted by: Smell the Glove at August 21, 2026 09:35 AM (rp63B)

21
It's a Perky of Titties!!!*

*Official name for a gathering of delightful boobs.

Posted by: naturalfake at August 21, 2026 09:35 AM (iJfKG)

22 Some guy in the trees on the left watching them.

Posted by: dantesed at August 21, 2026 09:35 AM (Oy/m2)

23 google finished with:

"It's perfectly safe to drive around these neighborhoods with your windows down and country music blaring at 3 AM."

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:35 AM (ccf/V)

24
*Official name for a gathering of delightful boobs.

Posted by: naturalfake at August 21, 2026 09:35 AM (iJfKG)

I like it.

We must petition to get it added to the style guide.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (ccf/V)

25 I like it. When does the orgy begin?

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (M+uMR)

26 From Wiki...

"She was either seduced by King Roderic, becoming his lover, or abducted by him and raped. In some versions, the king is depicted spying on her while she bathed in a garden. In others, she is the seducer. Afterwards, Julian, in order to avenge his dishonor on Roderic, colludes with the Umayyad forces (then subduing northern Africa) to invade Spain.[2]"

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (l3cgK)

27 Sniper.

Posted by: Boss Moss at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (2MN4W)

28 Women of Florida?

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (wVcYX)

29 Pandering to the lowest common denominator.

This is just dumb.

Posted by: nurse ratched at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (81wK+)

30 Have women ever really gathered together to hang out topless like this? Is this historically accurate? Are there any re-enactment groups? Asking for a friend...

Posted by: AlecK at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (cMlC1)

31 I'll need a whole box of pencils to conduct my tests...

Posted by: Boob inspector at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (2Ez/1)

32 Some guy in the trees on the left watching them.
Posted by: dantesed at August 21, 2026 09:35 AM (Oy/m2)

Sniper, attempting to hide the 3rd leg of his bipod.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (ccf/V)

33
Definition:

Florinda - a city on the border between Florida and Indiana.

Posted by: naturalfake at August 21, 2026 09:37 AM (iJfKG)

34 Pandering to the lowest common denominator.

This is just dumb.

Posted by: nurse ratched at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (81wK+)

HEY!!!!!

I resemble this remark!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:37 AM (ccf/V)

35 Winterhalter? I just met her!

Posted by: Rimshot at August 21, 2026 09:37 AM (2Ez/1)

36 Florinda la Cava, Spanish legend related to Ceuta.

Posted by: RS at August 21, 2026 09:37 AM (GYx3d)

37 Must be hot there.

Posted by: Boss Moss at August 21, 2026 09:37 AM (2MN4W)

38 I just noticed the guy hiding in the bushes on the left. He’s taking more than a Costanza peak; he’s in the middle of a full blown stare. NBC’s not gonna buy the show….

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 21, 2026 09:37 AM (M+uMR)

39 "30 Have women ever really gathered together to hang out topless like this? Is this historically accurate? Are there any re-enactment groups? Asking for a friend...
Posted by: AlecK at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (cMlC1)"

I've seen it but never heard of it without dudes around. Or seen it, without at least one dude, for obvious reasons.

Posted by: heya at August 21, 2026 09:38 AM (zfQ1S)

40 Florinda is a feminine name of Spanish origin meaning "blooming flower," symbolizing beauty, grace, and vitality.

-
They blooming all right.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Oh yeah? Well, You're Another One! at August 21, 2026 09:34 AM (ndZc7)

I paint this!

Posted by: Georgia O'Keeffe, double Fs, please at August 21, 2026 09:38 AM (wVcYX)

41 36 Florinda la Cava, Spanish legend related to Ceuta.

Posted by: RS at August 21, 2026 09:37 AM (GYx3d)

Yes.
See posts #13 and #26...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at August 21, 2026 09:38 AM (l3cgK)

42 Have women ever really gathered together to hang out topless like this? Is this historically accurate? Are there any re-enactment groups? Asking for a friend...
Posted by: AlecK at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (cMlC1)

*Lena Dunham, Trigglypuff and Margaret Cho enter the room*

*smile*

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:39 AM (ccf/V)

43 36 Florinda la Cava, Spanish legend related to Ceuta.
Posted by: RS at August 21, 2026 09:37 AM (GYx3d)

Shaqwanda and Lopecia...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 21, 2026 09:39 AM (x0n13)

44 Willowed from MR (Arday)

324 I thought it was an OD, not bang bang.
Posted by: whig at August 21, 2026 09:31 AM (E4rtv)
Well yeah, didn’t have the guts to pull the trigger twice.
Posted by: Eromero at August 21, 2026 09:33 AM (gd7Qy

Posted by: Eromero at August 21, 2026 09:39 AM (gd7Qy)

45 There's more boobs there than at a Three Stooges convention.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 21, 2026 09:39 AM (eYRW2)

46 "38 I just noticed the guy hiding in the bushes on the left. He’s taking more than a Costanza peak; he’s in the middle of a full blown stare. NBC’s not gonna buy the show…."

Roderic. Visigothic King.

Posted by: RS at August 21, 2026 09:39 AM (GYx3d)

47 Have women ever really gathered together to hang out topless like this? Is this historically accurate? Are there any re-enactment groups? Asking for a friend...
Posted by: AlecK at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (cMlC1)

They do. You can usually find these groups at places named such things as Sugars, The Booby Trap, The Landing Strip, etc.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at August 21, 2026 09:40 AM (ExV1e)

48 Pandering to the lowest common denominator.

This is just dumb.
>>>>>Posted by: nurse ratched at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (81wK+)

fenelonspoke, is that you?

Posted by: Same Old at August 21, 2026 09:40 AM (P++CM)

49 A distinct lack of blondes.

Posted by: Just being picky at August 21, 2026 09:40 AM (2Ez/1)

50 There was a "Sun Worshippers" exhibit of topless women at the 1939 World's Fair-separate admission, of course. Picnicking, sun bathing, playing badminton, etc. Mostly recruited from Burlesque houses.
There was also a Salvador Dali designed pavilion with topless mermaids swimming about.

Posted by: Surprised Me at August 21, 2026 09:40 AM (JM9I6)

51 Shaqwanda and Lopecia...
Posted by: J.J. Sefton

And their brother Al.

Alopecia.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 21, 2026 09:40 AM (eYRW2)

52 I just noticed the guy hiding in the bushes on the left. He’s taking more than a Costanza peak; he’s in the middle of a full blown stare. NBC’s not gonna buy the show….
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 21, 2026 09:37 AM (M+uMR)

He's trimming the bushes.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:40 AM (ccf/V)

53
This is just dumb.
>>>>>Posted by: nurse ratched at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (81wK+)

fenelonspoke, is that you?
Posted by: Same Old at August 21, 2026 09:40 AM (P++CM)

And that's when the fight started, officer......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:41 AM (ccf/V)

54 ‘The picture depicts the legend of King Roderic of Spain spying on Florinda la Cava and the other palace girls while they bathe in a garden in Toledo, in order to decide the fairest. After Roderic selects and courts Florinda, her father takes revenge by inviting the Moors to invade and conquer Spain.’

Timely!

Posted by: Elric the Blade at August 21, 2026 09:42 AM (XCctI)

55 A distinct lack of blondes.
Posted by: Just being picky at August 21, 2026 09:40 AM (2Ez/1)

They are away at the Swedish Bikini Team beer commercial auditions.

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 21, 2026 09:42 AM (wVcYX)

56 I read the title as "Florida," and was like, 'no wonder everybody wants to live there.'

Posted by: Washington Nearsider: Gotterdammerung at August 21, 2026 09:42 AM (PGK1w)

57 C'mon, Nurse, you got a ripped Alexander the Great yesterday. CBD's just giving us 'Rons equal time.

Posted by: Bulg at August 21, 2026 09:42 AM (77rzZ)

58 Pandering to the lowest common denominator.

This is just dumb.

Posted by: nurse ratched

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

I refuse to grow up.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 21, 2026 09:42 AM (eYRW2)

59 A pop up ad for boner pills. The early years.

Posted by: Sporting pronounced hooterage at August 21, 2026 09:43 AM (2Ez/1)

60
I refuse to grow up.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 21, 2026 09:42 AM (eYRW2)

I just continue to grow out.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:43 AM (ccf/V)

61 Have women ever really gathered together to hang out topless like this? Is this historically accurate? Are there any re-enactment groups? Asking for a friend...
Posted by: AlecK at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (cMlC1)"

For one magical moment of time(1970's) women in Austin could go topless, because of sexual discrimination- hahahahahaha!,

And did so at Barton Springs swimming area.

Of course, there were a few land whales but most of the topless chiquitas were perky coeds.

But then, the law was changed back and sadness descended over the land.

Posted by: naturalfake at August 21, 2026 09:43 AM (iJfKG)

62 Have women ever really gathered together to hang out topless like this? Is this historically accurate? Are there any re-enactment groups? Asking for a friend...
Posted by: AlecK at August 21, 2026 09:36 AM (cMlC1)

They do. You can usually find these groups at places named such things as Sugars, The Booby Trap, The Landing Strip, etc.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at August 21, 2026 09:40 AM (ExV1e)

Places where when she giggle and wiggles, they jiggle.

It's Science! Physics, even.

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 21, 2026 09:43 AM (wVcYX)

63 For one magical moment of time(1970's) women in Austin could go topless, because of sexual discrimination- hahahahahaha!,

And did so at Barton Springs swimming area.

Of course, there were a few land whales but most of the topless chiquitas were perky coeds.

But then, the law was changed back and sadness descended over the land.

Posted by: naturalfake

Hippie Hollow FTW!

Posted by: rickb223 at August 21, 2026 09:44 AM (eYRW2)

64 Now we know where da white womens at.

Posted by: Eromero at August 21, 2026 09:44 AM (gd7Qy)

65 Speaking of gatherings of crazy ass chicks . . .

Toronto's WNBA team introduces non-binary turtle mascot

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Oh yeah? Well, You're Another One! at August 21, 2026 09:45 AM (ndZc7)

66 > After Roderic selects and courts Florinda, her father takes revenge by inviting the Moors to invade and conquer Spain.’

Posted by: Elric the Blade at August 21, 2026 09:42 AM
+++++

No, I'm sorry. The correct answer is Moops!

Posted by: Obscure Seinfeld reference at August 21, 2026 09:46 AM (2Ez/1)

67 Of course there's some perv lurking in the bushes grabbing wood....

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 21, 2026 09:46 AM (FZ29D)

68 Porky's Pig Pen - the early years

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 21, 2026 09:46 AM (wVcYX)

69 The funny thing about paintings like this is the women are partially disrobed. So, they didn't take the big heavy dress off and sit around in their slips but just mostly un-buttoned the tops to air out the girls.

I'm guessing this is not very historical...note I'm not complaining either of course.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 21, 2026 09:46 AM (sKqQm)

70 Toronto's WNBA team introduces non-binary turtle mascot
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Oh yeah? Well, You're Another One! at August 21, 2026 09:45 AM (ndZc7)

Oh FFS......

Posted by: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at August 21, 2026 09:47 AM (ccf/V)

71 Fair enough.

I’ll just roll my eyes.

You boys and your boobs. How old were you when you saw your first playboy and lost
Your mind?

Posted by: nurse ratched at August 21, 2026 09:47 AM (A4itf)

72 Painter’s technique is much better at the clothing and background than the ladies. Their bodies are cartoonish and the faces all look like clones. Painter literally painted the same woman over and over.

Posted by: Elric the Blade at August 21, 2026 09:48 AM (XCctI)

73 Have their cycles synched yet?

Posted by: I gotta ask at August 21, 2026 09:48 AM (2Ez/1)

74 You boys and your boobs. How old were you when you saw your first playboy and lost
Your mind?
Posted by: nurse ratched at August 21, 2026 09:47 AM (A4itf)

Unlike you, we don't just get to see them whenever we want.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at August 21, 2026 09:49 AM (ExV1e)

75 Where is Florinda Man?

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at August 21, 2026 09:49 AM (XvL8K)

76 The topic of this painting is about the King of pre-Moorish Spain spying on women bathing to determine who is the best looking where he decides on Florinda, who I assume is the woman in the middle of the painting

Occasionally you will get feminists arguing that until very recently the look most people found attractive was "Rubenesque" aka fat.

Well, looking at the fairest maid in Spain as considered in 1853 she'd pass for a college athlete now...

Posted by: 18-1 at August 21, 2026 09:50 AM (sKqQm)

77 Their bodies are cartoonish and the faces all look like clones. Painter literally painted the same woman over and over.
Posted by: Elric the Blade at August 21, 2026 09:48 AM (XCctI)
-----
Time traveler with access to Adobe Photoshop?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 21, 2026 09:50 AM (FZ29D)

78 How old were you when you saw your first playboy and lost
Your mind?
Posted by: nurse ratched

My folks were older, and my older brothers mostly moved out, so I don't think I experienced Playboy or other nudie mags until college.

The first Playboy that I bought was December 1985. Barbie Benton. Mmmmmmmm...

Posted by: Bulg at August 21, 2026 09:50 AM (77rzZ)

79 Looking at some of Winterhalter's many portraits, this follows his typical approach: smooth (presumably natural), flawless skin tones against harder detailed backgrounds. That technique really allows the people's faces, and in this case their bodies, to shine and catch the viewers eyes. It is effective. In this painting the emphasis on facial expression takes a back seat to the poses of the women's bodies. Winterhalter often did portraits of royalty with the symbols of their power. He had to go back to a Spanish folktale to make the nudity acceptable.

Posted by: JTB at August 21, 2026 09:50 AM (yTvNw)

80 Loosen the bone a little, Wilma. Jesus...

Posted by: one hour sober at August 21, 2026 09:51 AM (J4Dwc)

81
You boys and your boobs. How old were you when you saw your first playboy and lost
Your mind?
Posted by: nurse ratched at August 21, 2026 09:47 AM (A4itf)

6 or 7, I'd guess.

Grandpa had a subscription since the start and asked my dad to sell the lot. Boxes of issues were stored in our basement for a couple weeks.

I think, at the time, dad was trying to build a descrambler device for the OTA pay TV channel that went adult after midnight.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:51 AM (ccf/V)

82 34 Pandering to the lowest common denominator.

---------

Wait. There's a panda?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at August 21, 2026 09:51 AM (17rPF)

83 You boys and your boobs. How old were you when you saw your first playboy and lost your mind?

Posted by: nurse ratched at August 21, 2026 09:47 AM (A4itf)

This phenomenon is why I have always maintained that women have ALL the power in society.

If, as a species, women said 'you're never going to get to play with them again unless and until you:
- stop swearing
- get a real job
- treat me well
- be funny on purpose
- only play video games sometimes
- use your manners,

male behavior would dramatically, overnight, and permanently.

Wome are the most powerful beings ever created by God, and we're better for having them in our lives.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider: Gotterdammerung at August 21, 2026 09:52 AM (PGK1w)

84 Unlike you, we don't just get to see them whenever we want.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at August 21, 2026 09:49 AM

Oh, yeah:

https://youtu.be/WN9Qzof5yXk

Posted by: Joey Tribbiani at August 21, 2026 09:52 AM (2Ez/1)

85
Wait. There's a panda?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at August 21, 2026 09:51 AM (17rPF)

Before they got too lazy to survive outside of captivity.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:52 AM (ccf/V)

86 would IMPROVE dramatically, overnight, and permanently.

Boobs make my brain turn off, too.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider: Gotterdammerung at August 21, 2026 09:53 AM (PGK1w)

87 You boys and your boobs. How old were you when you saw your first playboy and lost
Your mind?

They've hooked men up to EEGs and seeing an attractive woman floods the pleasure centers.

I would assume the converse is true for woman as well.

Though, one of the most amusing things I've noticed - if I look through the magazine section at a store the men's mags mostly have attractive scantily clad women on their covers and the women's mags mostly have attractive slightly less scantily clad women on their covers as well

Posted by: 18-1 at August 21, 2026 09:53 AM (sKqQm)

88 What this painting needs is a pillow fight.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at August 21, 2026 09:53 AM (17rPF)

89 Wome are the most powerful beings ever created by God, and we're better for having them in our lives.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider: Gotterdammerung at August 21, 2026 09:52 AM (PGK1w)

More battles have been fought over pussy than anything in the history of ever, I'd wager.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:53 AM (ccf/V)

90 I wonder if the moral of the painting is the king shouldn't get distracted by the ta tas.

Posted by: JTB at August 21, 2026 09:54 AM (yTvNw)

91 I suppose that's Castle Anthrax off in the distance.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at August 21, 2026 09:54 AM (17rPF)

92 "Women are the most powerful beings ever created by God, and we're better for having them in our lives."

Note that as creation progresses, with each step things get more beautiful and complex.
Eve was last.
She's the pinnacle of all.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at August 21, 2026 09:55 AM (2Ez/1)

93 Zee Germans did a study a while back where they determined men seeing boobs can add up to 5 minutes to the end of their lives.

Don't ask me how they came to that conclusion, but I'm all in for ladies saving my life at the end.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 09:55 AM (ccf/V)

94 More battles have been fought over pussy than anything in the history of ever, I'd wager.

From a biological perspective the single most important thing you can do is reproduce and since as a man you need a woman to do so this makes perfect sense

Posted by: 18-1 at August 21, 2026 09:56 AM (sKqQm)

95 >>Zee Germans did a study a while back where they determined men seeing boobs can add up to 5 minutes to the end of their lives.

Bulg is going to live to about 150

Posted by: one hour sober at August 21, 2026 09:56 AM (J4Dwc)

96 The MET

Title: Florinda
Artist: Franz Xaver Winterhalter (German, Menzenschwand 1805–1873 Frankfurt)
Date: 1853
Medium: Oil on canvas
Dimensions: 70 1/4 x 96 3/4 in. (178.4 x 245.7 cm)
Classification: Paintings
Credit Line: Bequest of William H. Webb, 1899

Posted by: r hennigantx at August 21, 2026 09:56 AM (/+uur)

97 This painting depicts an episode from the legend of Roderick, the last king of the Spanish Visigoths. After spying on his maids of honor to determine the fairest among them, the king chose Florinda (at center left), who became the object of his love. In revenge, Florinda's father called the Arabs into Spain and brought about the conquest.

Posted by: r hennigantx at August 21, 2026 09:57 AM (/+uur)

98 I wonder if the moral of the painting is the king shouldn't get distracted by the ta tas.

Well, I'm guessing the guy painted it because he knew it would sell well, and he got to look at scantily clad models for weeks.

But the moral of the story he is painting is don't let the Moors into Spain something the modern government could learn and I assume why CBD choose this painting (well along with the boobs)

Posted by: 18-1 at August 21, 2026 09:57 AM (sKqQm)

99 As an aside generally wouldn't you want your daughter to marry the king?

Posted by: 18-1 at August 21, 2026 09:58 AM (sKqQm)

100 Zee Germans did a study a while back where they determined men seeing boobs can add up to 5 minutes to the end of their lives.

Don't ask me how they came to that conclusion, but I'm all in for ladies saving my life at the end.
Posted by: Sponge

At the beginning of 1 Kings, King David is on his deathbed, so the court brings in this beautiful maiden, Abishag the Shunammite, in the hope that she'll perk the old man up.

"But the king knew her not."

Considering it was David, you know he was a goner from that one line.

Posted by: Bulg at August 21, 2026 09:58 AM (77rzZ)

101 100

Posted by: r hennigantx at August 21, 2026 09:58 AM (/+uur)

102 Funny you would chose this painting instead of Winterhalter's more famous portraits.

Posted by: Tuna at August 21, 2026 09:59 AM (lJ0H4)

103 Levels of Goth
goth
semi goth
visi goth
10th grade girl

Posted by: r hennigantx at August 21, 2026 09:59 AM (/+uur)

104 99 As an aside generally wouldn't you want your daughter to marry the king?

----------

Not if the king is a fink.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at August 21, 2026 09:59 AM (17rPF)

105 94 More battles have been fought over pussy than anything in the history of ever, I'd wager.

Posted by: Sponge at August 21, 2026 09:53 AM

Men are expendable. Women are not.

Posted by: Just get in the lifeboat already at August 21, 2026 10:00 AM (2Ez/1)

106 Any time I've come across a "clothing optional" area of a beach, it's never what I'd imagine it'd be.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 21, 2026 10:00 AM (2Cry5)

107 That aint Disney World.

Posted by: fd at August 21, 2026 10:01 AM (MWfyi)

108 106 Any time I've come across a "clothing optional" area of a beach, it's never what I'd imagine it'd be.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 21, 2026 10:00 AM (2Cry5)

Sweetheart
I think you should have opted for clothing

Posted by: r hennigantx at August 21, 2026 10:01 AM (/+uur)

109 I believe Roderick actually married a woman named Egilona who after his death married one of the Muslim conquerors willing or not, I don't know.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 21, 2026 10:02 AM (sKqQm)

110 As an aside generally wouldn't you want your daughter to marry the king?

Posted by: 18-1 at August 21, 2026 09:58 AM (sKqQm)

Which would seem to support the versions where something nefarious happened. Official courtship wouldn't require the governor to "avenge his honor". Interesting that something so relatively recent is practically mythology with only Rodrick known to have actually existed.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at August 21, 2026 10:02 AM (lFFaq)

111 102 ... "Funny you would chose this painting instead of Winterhalter's more famous portraits."

Tuna,
That just proves that CBD likes us. At least the 'rons.

Posted by: JTB at August 21, 2026 10:03 AM (yTvNw)

112 Which would seem to support the versions where something nefarious happened. Official courtship wouldn't require the governor to "avenge his honor". Interesting that something so relatively recent is practically mythology with only Rodrick known to have actually existed.
Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at August 21, 2026 10:02 AM (lFFaq)

Conquered by the Muz so history erased?

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at August 21, 2026 10:04 AM (ExV1e)

113 You've always wanted to go to a nude beach.

Then you go to one.........

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 10:04 AM (ccf/V)

114 99 As an aside generally wouldn't you want your daughter to marry the king?
====
Or at least dance for him.

Posted by: Herodias at August 21, 2026 10:05 AM (2Ez/1)

115 Any time I've come across a "clothing optional" area of a beach, it's never what I'd imagine it'd be.
Posted by: Martini Farmer

All the ones you want to see, you don't.
All the ones you don't want to see, you do.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 21, 2026 10:05 AM (eYRW2)

116 Girl on the far right even has the two dimple thing going on.

Posted by: Tom Servo at August 21, 2026 10:05 AM (o3ajz)

117
Which would seem to support the versions where something nefarious happened. Official courtship wouldn't require the governor to "avenge his honor". Interesting that something so relatively recent is practically mythology with only Rodrick known to have actually existed.

Early middle ages often lacks good documentation and having a Muslim horde sack the realm immediately after makes things worse.

Roderick didn't rule over happy nobles so some theorize he might have in fact seized the throne illegitimately which may by why Julian would have been eager to move against him instead of wanting his daughter to be married to him

Posted by: 18-1 at August 21, 2026 10:06 AM (sKqQm)

118 More evidence that women have been beautiful for centuries.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 21, 2026 10:06 AM (ccf/V)

119 Funny you would chose this painting instead of Winterhalter's more famous portraits."

Tuna,
That just proves that CBD likes us. At least the 'rons.
Posted by: JTB

Well the 'Ron's got an abundance of boobs while the 'Etta's got one naked torso. No fair!

Posted by: Tuna at August 21, 2026 10:06 AM (lJ0H4)

120 94 More battles have been fought over pussy than anything in the history of ever, I'd wager.

Posted by: Sponge at August 21, 2026 09:53 AM
----
I read a lot of adventure and fantasy stories.

A sizeable portion of them--if not the majority--involve a young man going on adventures to impress a chick.

Even Lord of the Rings falls into this trap--Aragorn wanted to win over Arwen once and for all.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 21, 2026 10:06 AM (FZ29D)

121 must have been after the circle.

Posted by: cmeat at August 21, 2026 10:06 AM (Bep7s)

122 It is something of a miracle that Spain freed itself from Islam. Looks like they are going to need another one of those now...

Posted by: 18-1 at August 21, 2026 10:07 AM (sKqQm)

123 I just thought of that scene in An Officer and a Gentleman…. That’s a bodacious set of ta tas….

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at August 21, 2026 10:07 AM (rasGT)

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