Daily Tech News 14 August 2026

Top Story

You get a letter of marque and reprisal! And you get a letter of marque and reprisal! Everybody gets a letter of marque and reprisal! (White House) (Yes, the White House)

In Minecraft.

Tech News

Google's Gemini 3.7 Flash inhabits an interesting space near the Pareto Frontier of AI solutions. (Google)

Near the frontier. Not on it. It is outclassed by ChatGPT's low-cost Luna model, which while weaker than the best models is also much cheaper.
Stop shooting yourself in the foot. (The Register)

Didn't even need to sum that one up; The Register did it for me.
The company that wants to sell you expensive support contracts for your network equipment says that advanced AI spells doom for unsupported network equipment. (The Register)

They're totally not running a cobra farm though.
In an orthogonal move to guarantee the safety of unsupported network equipment, Amazon will be training its AI on Twitch streams. (Tech Crunch)

No, your other left.
Meanwhile the University of Michigan is busy churning out the next generation of Amazon AI training fodder. (Axios)

And not in a good way.

Musical Interlude

Disclaimer: Get your dirty hands off my Buckminsterfullerine-replicating cosmological megastructure!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 04:30 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 G'Day everyone

Posted by: Skip at August 14, 2026 04:31 AM (Ia/+0)

2 Mornin'

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at August 14, 2026 04:35 AM (sAmhv)

3 Morning all.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at August 14, 2026 04:39 AM (BLOW1)

4 BOING!

Busy. Sashimi prepped. Chicken in the oven.

Dealing with this MS issue, which is preventing critical updates from being installed on Win11:

https://tinyurl.com/2keew2jp

At a minimum I know from a vendor install failure that the Windows Temp folder cannot be written to no matter what authority a program has. Dunno how this happened.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 04:40 AM (aI58f)

5 Hello techies,

TGIF

Posted by: Pete Bog at August 14, 2026 04:44 AM (kM0fu)

6 Too difficult to comment
Have a great day horde

Posted by: Skip at August 14, 2026 04:46 AM (Ia/+0)

7 Surfing dog:

https://tinyurl.com/5n99tw4z

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 14, 2026 04:46 AM (DzHyO)

8 w00t late

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 04:59 AM (odBC9)

9 Disclaimer: Get your dirty hands of

*off

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:01 AM (odBC9)

10 "Be Thou My Vision"

Lovely old Irish hymn

https://tinyurl.com/sn5ez6h5

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 14, 2026 05:02 AM (W90Ou)

11
g'mornin', 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at August 14, 2026 05:07 AM (AMvSw)

12 Repeat: How did Hunter Biden get there?

https://tinyurl.com/2nuc86bt

How long is Hunter's nose?

https://tinyurl.com/43z5udhz

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 05:08 AM (aI58f)

13 Man helps elderly woman who had fallen. YouTube video:

https://tinyurl.com/43ptnucr

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 14, 2026 05:08 AM (W90Ou)

14 4 Dealing with this MS issue, which is preventing critical updates from being installed on Win11:

https://tinyurl.com/2keew2jp

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 04:40 AM (aI58f)

This exceeds my techitude. Good luck.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:13 AM (odBC9)

15 Phone is acting up. I'm calling a very early day for electronics:

Could the kind praying people please continue to pray for P, for relief from pain and for the husband of dear ASHQ poster "Tecumseh Tea" whose husband has cancer- for complete healing for him . Thanks so much.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 14, 2026 05:13 AM (W90Ou)

16 >>>Dealing with this MS issue

I read that as "multiple sclerosis" every time.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:14 AM (odBC9)

17 Morning, 'rons and 'ettes.

Posted by: olddog in mo at August 14, 2026 05:18 AM (Hbeqj)

18 >>>(White House) (Yes, the White House)

TLDR

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:19 AM (odBC9)

19 I read that as "multiple sclerosis" every time.
Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:14 AM (odBC9)

I did as well. And silently applauded Biden’s Dog for persevering with the chicken and sushi.

Posted by: Pete Bog at August 14, 2026 05:20 AM (kM0fu)

20 from The Register article

>>>They could have gotten a password tattoo.

ewww

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:22 AM (odBC9)

21 >>>Top shooting yourself in the foot.

*Stop

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:22 AM (odBC9)

22 It's Friday, it's Friday! Happy, happy Friday!

*twirl*

Posted by: Rosasharn at August 14, 2026 05:23 AM (PzBTm)

23 YAY, Rosasharn!

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:25 AM (odBC9)

24 Morning, Tech Peeps

Posted by: fluffy at August 14, 2026 05:26 AM (V0/Sp)

25 from the Axios article

Freshmen at the University of Michigan are getting a break from one of college's biggest stressors: grades.

Why it matters: The pilot program is intended to help "curb the mental health crisis unfolding among college-aged individuals," the school says.

___

And then, when, in real life, they face stress, they are On Their Own.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:28 AM (odBC9)

26 from the Axios article

Professors would still assign grades, but they wouldn't appear on external transcripts or count toward students' GPAs. ... U-M says the idea, known as "grade covering"

AKA "lying"

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:30 AM (odBC9)

27 >>>Top shooting yourself in the foot.

*Stop

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:22 AM (odBC9)
-

4 out of 5 people surveyed who shot themselves in the foot, did it from on top.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 05:38 AM (aI58f)

28 If being asked to learn something and then having how well you learned it be measured by the person who taught it to you gives you a "mental health crisis", you shouldn't have even gone in to academics.

And you -definitely- should not go to trade school.

Hell, even stuffing boxes for Amazon is probably too much to trust you with.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 14, 2026 05:39 AM (Ot/FD)

29 27 >>>Top shooting yourself in the foot.

*Stop

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:22 AM (odBC9)
-

4 out of 5 people surveyed who shot themselves in the foot, did it from on top.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 05:38 AM (aI58f)

Hard to top stopping!

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:41 AM (odBC9)

30 Go be an electrician's assistant. Tell them you're having a mental health crisis because the apprentice you're attached to sent you to the supply house to buy fittings and you brought back the wrong ones and are now holding up the job. Tell them it's Not Fair and you should basically already be the foreman anyway because it's your turn and you deserve it.

See how that works out for you.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 14, 2026 05:41 AM (Ot/FD)

31 It's flabbergasting the degree to which people think being corrected or being told they're wrong drives them around the bend. Their parents never said "No", never corrected them or let them suffer the consequences of being wrong, however trivial. So now they're all grown up and are physically allergic to learning or growing or being a decent human being in general.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 14, 2026 05:44 AM (Ot/FD)

32 They should all be run through ROTC.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:46 AM (odBC9)

33 4 out of 5 people surveyed who shot themselves in the foot, did it from on top.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 05:38 AM (aI58f)

Shooting yourself in the foot may not be right for everyone. If you are allergic to shooting yourself in the foot, stop shooting yourself in the foot.

If bleeding persists for more than four hours consult your doctor.

Posted by: Pete Bog at August 14, 2026 05:48 AM (kM0fu)

34 32 They should all be run through ROTC.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:46 AM (odBC9)

...or a woodchipper.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at August 14, 2026 05:49 AM (6ydKt)

35 34 32 They should all be run through ROTC.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:46 AM (odBC9)

...or a woodchipper.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at August 14, 2026 05:49 AM (6ydKt)

"Today we're going to study Vermeer."

"The music guy?"

".... just for that, you're going feet first, Timmy."

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 14, 2026 05:51 AM (Ot/FD)

36 35 34 32 They should all be run through ROTC.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:46 AM (odBC9)

...or a woodchipper.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at August 14, 2026 05:49 AM (6ydKt)

"Today we're going to study Vermeer."

"The music guy?"

".... just for that, you're going feet first, Timmy."
Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 14, 2026 05:51 AM (Ot/FD)

*uptwinkles*

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:52 AM (odBC9)

37 *moar uptwinkles!*

G'mornin' everyone!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 14, 2026 05:54 AM (VyBeY)

38 Ah, the paradigm shift, where getting shoved face first into an Educator's six-inch Bandit no longer means....

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 14, 2026 05:55 AM (Ot/FD)

39 and thank you Rosasharn!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 14, 2026 05:55 AM (VyBeY)

40 Evening and morning, satellites and satraps of the vast AoSHQ Empire! We who are awake at an early hour salute you!

Friday. The consummation devoutly to be wished.

I'm up, anyway, with the Killer Kittenz From Outer Space. Howz about you?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at August 14, 2026 05:58 AM (wzUl9)

41 My real estate agent is trying to set up video tours of two new properties, both about the same price, one a bit smaller than the other. Both look to be in good neighborhoods, both have garages of course, and I think both have basements. The smaller has a deck out back and a little shed near the garage.

The larger has, get this, a gas fireplace. I haven't had a fireplace of any kind since my apartment in Denver, '97-'98. Should be interesting. . . .

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at August 14, 2026 05:59 AM (wzUl9)

42 The leftover french fries topped with ketchup that I am eating for breakfast are delicious.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 06:03 AM (odBC9)

43 Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

Rejoinder: DISCONTINUITY

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at August 14, 2026 06:04 AM (amcLV)

44 The Warners Bugs Bunny cartoon that introduced the Tasmanian Devil is on Movies! They use these and Fractured Flickers segments as filler between their films.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at August 14, 2026 06:06 AM (wzUl9)

45 Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

Rejoinder: DISCONTINUITY
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at August 14, 2026

***
That's the problem with those Slaver stasis fields

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at August 14, 2026 06:07 AM (wzUl9)

46 Speaking of woodchipper candidates:

https://tinyurl.com/yp5z3jef

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 06:07 AM (aI58f)

47 Addendum to the building across from the White Bought by some Chynahman - some Chynahman!!!

https://tinyurl.com/3bdnnufd

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 06:10 AM (aI58f)

48 The plan: workout this morning, breakfast, and by then I'll know if my agent has set up a video tour of either or both properties. If not, I'll run quick to Walmart or Aldi for our pizza tonight.

We watched the 1944 The Canterville Ghost with Charles Laughton and Robert Young last night. Fun stuff. Until I looked on IMDb, I had no idea the basic story had been remade so many times for films and TV, live action and animation.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at August 14, 2026 06:11 AM (wzUl9)

49 nice

Aelfred The Great
@aelfred_D
11h

I think it was Chesterton who said “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly”.

This helps me a lot.

Istra of Glome
@byistra
19h

C.S. Lewis: favorable conditions NEVER come

There are always plenty of rivals to our work. We are always falling in love or quarreling, looking for jobs or fearing to lose them, getting ill and recovering, following public affairs. If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work.

The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable. Favorable conditions never come.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 06:11 AM (odBC9)

50 also

Aelfred The Great
@aelfred_D
11h
Perfectionism is a demon more tempting than most and will stop you from doing anything if you let it

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 06:14 AM (odBC9)

51 That's the problem with those Slaver stasis fields
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at August 14, 2026 06:07 AM (wzUl9)
-----------
I'm pleased you got the reference.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at August 14, 2026 06:20 AM (amcLV)

52 Greetings and good morning, all! My MRI went very well and with luck, a treatment plan will be implemented that will actually solve my knee pain.

Posted by: NR Pax at August 14, 2026 06:22 AM (99eI0)

53 We believe that covering grades will help students start strong and curb the mental health crisis unfolding among college-aged individuals.

I'm really trying to avoid being one of those "Back in MY day" kind of people but life keeps throwing out challenges like this!

Posted by: NR Pax at August 14, 2026 06:24 AM (99eI0)

54 MSNBC: "How do I ask this artfully?"

https://tinyurl.com/5cb4v5ah

Wisconsin. Minnesota. US elections are a sham!

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 06:32 AM (aI58f)

55 Greetings and good morning, all! My MRI went very well and with luck, a treatment plan will be implemented that will actually solve my knee pain.

Posted by: NR Pax at August 14, 2026 06:22 AM (99eI0)
-

See our earlier comments about shooting yourself in the foot.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 06:33 AM (aI58f)

56 from the Axios article

Freshmen at the University of Michigan are getting a break from one of college's biggest stressors: grades.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 05:28 AM (odBC9)
-

If it's good enough for college freshmen, it's good enough for the kiddies:

https://tinyurl.com/5h8kzrur

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 06:36 AM (aI58f)

57 54 MSNBC: "How do I ask this artfully?"

https://tinyurl.com/5cb4v5ah

Wisconsin. Minnesota. US elections are a sham!
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 06:32 AM (aI58f)

It's a great line.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 06:39 AM (odBC9)

58 See our earlier comments about shooting yourself in the foot.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey

Important safety tip. Thanks, Eagon!

Posted by: NR Pax at August 14, 2026 06:40 AM (99eI0)

59 56 If it's good enough for college freshmen, it's good enough for the kiddies:

https://tinyurl.com/5h8kzrur
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 06:36 AM (aI58f)

tragic

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 06:43 AM (odBC9)

60 Speaking of Minecraft, is there an AoS Minecraft server out there somewhere?

Posted by: Jeff C at August 14, 2026 06:46 AM (5NnMe)

61 Wife was asking me for dinner suggestions tonight. She has tofu (Don't scoff. She's a good cook.) and was thinking of making tacos but she was asking if that should wait until Tuesday.

My answer: I'm kind of torn. Because tacos should not be delayed. However, Tofu Taco Tuesday does sound hilarious.

Posted by: NR Pax at August 14, 2026 06:47 AM (99eI0)

62 mornin yall. Another cop was fired and arrested in Georgia for using Flock cameras for "non work related purposes" This one was a police major in Milledgeville. It's almost like you can't even trust the police.

Posted by: fd at August 14, 2026 06:54 AM (MWfyi)

63 Any more sailors jump overboard yesterday?

Posted by: fd at August 14, 2026 06:57 AM (MWfyi)

64 hilarious can be a good thing ... I say go with that!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 14, 2026 06:58 AM (VyBeY)

65 64 hilarious can be a good thing ... I say go with that!
Posted by: sock_rat_eez

Agreed. I did remind her that we have ravioli in the freezer.

Posted by: NR Pax at August 14, 2026 06:59 AM (99eI0)

66 Another cop was fired and arrested in Georgia for using Flock cameras for "non work related purposes" This one was a police major in Milledgeville. It's almost like you can't even trust the police.

Posted by: fd at August 14, 2026 06:54 AM (MWfyi)
-

Obligatory musical interlude:

https://youtu.be/K-qK7oVXVRQ

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 06:59 AM (XyZGq)

67 a police major? rly? gold oak leaf & all? how shocking!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 14, 2026 06:59 AM (VyBeY)

68 hilarious can be a good thing ... I say go with that!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 14, 2026 06:58 AM (VyBeY)
-

This is nothing funny about sailors jumping off an aircraft carrier into the Arabian sea.

We are not amused!

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 07:01 AM (XyZGq)

69 dude you have tofu in your house
what for dinner is the least of your worries

I kid of course
good morning everyone

Posted by: Don Black at August 14, 2026 07:01 AM (ZxPkt)

70 63 Any more sailors jump overboard yesterday?
Posted by: fd at August 14, 2026 06:57 AM (MWfyi)

This?

BBC

Conditions on US aircraft carrier at sea for more than 250 days raise alarms
Thousands of sailors on the USS Abraham Lincoln have reportedly faced food shortages and broken plumbing, with some considering jumping overboard.
12 hrs ago

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 07:02 AM (odBC9)

71 I'm really trying to avoid being one of those "Back in MY day" kind of people but life keeps throwing out challenges like this!
Posted by: NR Pax at August 14, 2026 06:24 AM (99eI0)

It's not even a generational thing. There has never been an era in human history, and never will be, where failure should be met with praise. There can't actually be any kind of world where failure is success. Not learning from failure, not growing from the experience, actual acceptable praiseworthy success. It doesn't even make sense. The calendar hasn't got anything to do with it.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 14, 2026 07:02 AM (Ot/FD)

72 We have the name and a picture of the 14 year old who shot another student at a local high school this week, causing the school to be closed until next Monday. Denzelle Willis Jr., who apparently has a giant spider living on the top of his head. His mama say he a good boy, he just got caught up in the web of a giant spider.

Posted by: fd at August 14, 2026 07:04 AM (MWfyi)

73 these BBC people I can't even

The Global Story
Is Iran really trying to kill Trump?

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 07:04 AM (odBC9)

74 73 these BBC people I can't even

The Global Story
Is Iran really trying to kill Trump?
Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 07:04 AM (odBC9)

I'd honestly be a little bit offended if they weren't.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 14, 2026 07:05 AM (Ot/FD)

75 Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 07:02 AM (odBC9)
-

BBC.

Obviously there are problems if more than one sailor attempted jumping. However, not interested in believing the BBC's scare tactics.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 07:05 AM (XyZGq)

76 JJS.

Posted by: Nazdar at August 14, 2026 07:05 AM (NcvvS)

77 Mr. Sefton has arrived.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 14, 2026 07:06 AM (2Cry5)

78 "You mean they're not even trying? How hard do you gotta bomb a guy? I mean, come on..."

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 14, 2026 07:06 AM (Ot/FD)

79 moar stressors

from the BBC US aircraft carrier article

A study of 956 sailors released in January 2025 found that troops aboard US Navy ships suffer the highest rates of "serious psychological distress" compared to other branches of the US military.

The study cited "unique stressors, such as poor habitability, noise and demanding schedules that leave inadequate time for sleep and rest".

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 07:06 AM (odBC9)

80 75 Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 07:02 AM (odBC9)
-

BBC.

Obviously there are problems if more than one sailor attempted jumping. However, not interested in believing the BBC's scare tactics.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at August 14, 2026 07:05 AM (XyZGq)

In the article, Hegseth and others dispute the reports.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 07:07 AM (odBC9)

81 I woke up early to a tiny drip from the ceiling in our master bathroom. Shut off the hot water valve. A 50/50 chance it will help while I wait for the wife to wake up so I can make noise fixing it.

Fucking PEX.

Posted by: toby928(c) at August 14, 2026 07:08 AM (4NO2D)

82 71 I'm really trying to avoid being one of those "Back in MY day" kind of people but life keeps throwing out challenges like this!
Posted by: NR Pax at August 14, 2026 06:24 AM (99eI0)

It's not even a generational thing. There has never been an era in human history, and never will be, where failure should be met with praise. There can't actually be any kind of world where failure is success. Not learning from failure, not growing from the experience, actual acceptable praiseworthy success. It doesn't even make sense. The calendar hasn't got anything to do with it.
Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 14, 2026 07:02 AM (Ot/FD)

Hear, hear.

Posted by: m at August 14, 2026 07:14 AM (odBC9)

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