First World Problems [Doof]

Broken golf tees. How does that happen? You approach the tee box with your driver. You hear that voice in your head - "tee it high, and let it fly!" But how high is too high? There's water or some other hazard right in front of you. If you tee the ball too low, you'll top it and it'll go right in there! So you tee it up a little higher to make sure you hit the ball up in the air. But you teed it up too high, you hit the bottom of the ball, which means you also made contact with the tee, so the tee broke. No problem -- snap the bottom part off, toss it somewhere (be courteous and don't leave it on the ground at the tee box!), then put the top part of the tee into your pocket to use on a Par 3 or a short Par 4 when you're using a 3W or 5W. But you break several more tees before you get a chance to use one of the handful of salvaged stubbies that you kept. So you end up with a collection that looks something like this.

Useable for sure. But they're ugly! So what to do if you have OCD and don't want jagged stubby tees?

***

Grab that little pencil sharpener in your junk drawer, and make them look better!

I had a plethora of broken tees in my golf bag. After just a few minutes with the pencil sharpener (smaller opening), I had this lovely collection of stubby tees!

Fast forward a few days. Playing the back 9 at a local course. The Par 3 12th arrives. I had this ready to go!

Perfect height for the 7W I was about to swing - just gently enough to land in front of the green then roll up near the hole for a tap-in birdie.

At least that's the way things played out in my head as I took 2 practice swings. What really happened was a nice 75% backswing, followed by a rushed downswing and a too-soon head lift at impact so I topped the ball and it ended up about halfway between the tee box and the green.

Oh well - at least my stubby tee looked good!

[Please do not share this idea with bluebell - these sharpened tees could very easily be used as a shiv!]

Posted by: Open Blogger at 02:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 I'll fetch em

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 02:00 PM (Ia/+0)

2 Burn it. Burn it all and start over.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 19, 2026 02:01 PM (u73oe)

3 WTF is that?&

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 02:01 PM (Ia/+0)

4 I know what they are btw
If golf tees wete made of something tougher, say steel, titanium or mabe carbon fiber they might last longer.
But then they probably are the cheapest parts of playing golf.

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 02:03 PM (Ia/+0)

5
those are nine millimeter tees

Posted by: Eromero at July 19, 2026 02:03 PM (LHPAg)

6 My first world problem is still my washing machine. About to take it to scrap yard and get another

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 02:04 PM (Ia/+0)

7 9 or 10mm tees, whatever it takes

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 02:05 PM (Ia/+0)

8 You're not being the ball, Danny.

Posted by: gKWVE at July 19, 2026 02:06 PM (gKWVE)

9 Even 3D printed in PLA they would be more durable.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at July 19, 2026 02:06 PM (VyBeY)

10 >>>So what to do if you have OCD and don't want jagged stubby tees?

Super glue? Duct tape?
Slap hot iron to it?

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 02:07 PM (6wpGE)

11 I'm very proud of my sharpened stubby tees.

Please clap.

Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 02:07 PM (QMAsf)

12 10mm have a snappier recoil.

Posted by: yardbird at July 19, 2026 02:07 PM (nPp6w)

13 *golf clap*

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at July 19, 2026 02:08 PM (VyBeY)

14 11 I'm very proud of my sharpened stubby tees.

Please clap.
Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 02:07 PM (QMAsf)

Retweet if you agree.

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 02:08 PM (6wpGE)

15 I have to plug a lot of tires because of tees. Don't sharpen the fucking things

Posted by: what the cat drug in at July 19, 2026 02:08 PM (jrgJz)

16 13 *golf clap*
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at July 19, 2026 02:08 PM (VyBeY)

oooh
nice

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 02:09 PM (6wpGE)

17 Do they not make unbreakable golf tees molded from nylon?

Here is a money maker for you: take grass clippings. mulch them up in a blender, mix with water to make a thick slurry, pour into golf tee molds, and freeze solid. Put a mittful into a bag with dry ice, and use on the course. Tee up, take your shot, and let the tee melt and soak into the turf to become fertilizer.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at July 19, 2026 02:10 PM (1z8ji)

18 Not gonna deny, though, it was a good thinking-outside-the-box solution to a vexing problem.
don't give up! perhaps next time the outcome will be better.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at July 19, 2026 02:10 PM (VyBeY)

19 Willowed:

I would like there to be a law that states-

If we have to find them and deport them, at that point, then their bank accts and all property and housing and transportation that they own are forfeit to the gov't.

I'm also thinking that any one who rents property ( apps, houses, etc) immediately loses their the entirety of their property to the gov't.

Posted by: naturalfake at July 19, 2026 02:11 PM (iJfKG)

20 13 *golf clap*
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at July 19, 2026 02:08 PM (VyBeY)

well played

Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 02:11 PM (QMAsf)

21 15 I have to plug a lot of tires because of tees. Don't sharpen the fucking things
Posted by: what the cat drug in at July 19, 2026 02:08 PM (jrgJz)
You ever get a chicken or rib bone out of a tire?

Posted by: Eromero at July 19, 2026 02:11 PM (LHPAg)

22 Big hitter, that Lama.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 19, 2026 02:11 PM (qZb7K)

23 but AOP wins the Innovation Prize for today!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at July 19, 2026 02:13 PM (VyBeY)

24 Somebody needs to work on his golf swing.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 19, 2026 02:13 PM (3oLMy)

25 Somebody needs to work on his golf swing.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 19, 2026 02:13 PM (3oLMy)

Working on it does not often mean improving it!

Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 02:15 PM (QMAsf)

26

Doof
on the back 9
with a sharpened golf tee

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 02:15 PM (6wpGE)

27 Use both the tall and short tees depending on the club. Tall for the oversized driver small for fairway woods. No tee for irons.
Plastic tees are okay , while they don't break they do bend after a few strikes

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 19, 2026 02:17 PM (OXYE0)

28 A golf irritation is like the pinnacle of FWPs.7

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 19, 2026 02:17 PM (kpS4V)

29 but AOP wins the Innovation Prize for today!
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at July 19, 2026 02:13 PM (VyBeY)

Woot! But seriously, there are two ways to go. Make durable golf tees that won't break at all, or make rapidly biodegradable golf tees that will vanish rapidly when broken or lost. How about making them from pretzel flour baked into a golf tee shape? Strong enough for one shot, and the birds and squirrels will happily eat the lost and broken ones. Plus snacks for the players!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at July 19, 2026 02:17 PM (1z8ji)

30 Like with pantyhose, it's designed obsolescence.

Posted by: Moonbeam at July 19, 2026 02:19 PM (Lzhdy)

31 They make plastic ones.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 19, 2026 02:20 PM (BI5O2)

32 29 but AOP wins the Innovation Prize for today!
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at July 19, 2026 02:13 PM (VyBeY)

Woot! But seriously, there are two ways to go. Make durable golf tees that won't break at all, or make rapidly biodegradable golf tees that will vanish rapidly when broken or lost. How about making them from pretzel flour baked into a golf tee shape? Strong enough for one shot, and the birds and squirrels will happily eat the lost and broken ones. Plus snacks for the players!
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at July 19, 2026 02:17 PM (1z8ji)
chrystal meth.

Posted by: Eromero at July 19, 2026 02:20 PM (LHPAg)

33 29 ... or make rapidly biodegradable golf tees that will vanish rapidly when broken or lost. How about making them from pretzel flour baked into a golf tee shape? Strong enough for one shot, and the birds and squirrels will happily eat the lost and broken ones. Plus snacks for the players!
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at July 19, 2026 02:17 PM (1z8ji)

Or like those little, dry, plant-food spikes.

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 02:21 PM (6wpGE)

34 A golf irritation is like the pinnacle of FWPs.7
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 19, 2026 02:17 PM (kpS4V)

So you're saying I outdid CBD on my first try?

Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 02:21 PM (QMAsf)

35 FINE! What the hell are you trying to do? Kill me with a golf tee? It's not enough you got all these beautiful acres fenced in for your little game, but you gotta kill me with a golf tee? You should have children playing here! You should have families having picnics, you should have a goddamn petting zoo! Instead you've got these stupid electric carts for you old men with nothing better to do!

Posted by: Bill Foster at July 19, 2026 02:21 PM (45BvE)

36 Something very loud and very low just flew over my house. And it isn't a commercial flight, at least according to FlightAware!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 19, 2026 02:22 PM (l4RKn)

37 35 FINE! What the hell are you trying to do? Kill me with a golf tee? It's not enough you got all these beautiful acres fenced in for your little game, but you gotta kill me with a golf tee? You should have children playing here! You should have families having picnics, you should have a goddamn petting zoo! Instead you've got these stupid electric carts for you old men with nothing better to do!
Posted by: Bill Foster at July 19, 2026 02:21 PM (45BvE)

He seems nice.

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 02:22 PM (6wpGE)

38 Burning down the whole golf course is going to be expensive and dangerous, but it's First World so you know you've got to do it.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at July 19, 2026 02:23 PM (zdLoL)

39 Have a spring in the middle of the tee that bends, like a spring door stop.

Posted by: Rex B at July 19, 2026 02:23 PM (R0XxO)

40 36 Something very loud and very low just flew over my house. And it isn't a commercial flight, at least according to FlightAware!
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 19, 2026 02:22 PM (l4RKn)

wi tu lo?

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 02:23 PM (6wpGE)

41 Play once a week in the mild months. Gave up carrying tees a few years ago, just use whatever whole or partial tee I find lying around the tee box.
Adds to the challenge, and I've saved tons of cents over this time.

Posted by: From about That Time at July 19, 2026 02:24 PM (sl73Y)

42 @trump_repost
9m
They do this, and the Republican Party is DEAD!

Key House caucus leaders target Supreme Court, Senate filibuster:

https://tinyurl.com/bdevyzm2

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 19, 2026 02:25 PM (3oLMy)

43 35 FINE! What the hell are you trying to do? Kill me with a golf tee? It's not enough you got all these beautiful acres fenced in for your little game, but you gotta kill me with a golf tee? You should have children playing here! You should have families having picnics, you should have a goddamn petting zoo! Instead you've got these stupid electric carts for you old men with nothing better to do!
Posted by: Bill Foster at July 19, 2026 02:21 PM (45BvE)
'That man's not a member of the club!'
-Judge Elihu Smalls

Posted by: Eromero at July 19, 2026 02:26 PM (LHPAg)

44 CBD

Blue Angel 3 maybe

Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 02:27 PM (J4Dwc)

45 So CBD has reduced FWBs to pan tees.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at July 19, 2026 02:27 PM (3UbC6)

46 I'm very proud of my sharpened stubby tees.

Please clap.
Posted by: Doof

You need to repaint them completely, so they look clean!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at July 19, 2026 02:27 PM (NnhvP)

47 Don't need no tee's mate...

Posted by: Dame Laura Davies at July 19, 2026 02:27 PM (3sXRv)

48 I'm finding my biggest challenge in golf these days is the bending over and getting the ball to balance on the tee, especially the wood tees I've been finding. I think it's the depth, and paint. Or maybe me.

Posted by: From about That Time at July 19, 2026 02:27 PM (sl73Y)

49 Thank you Mr. Doof for FWP thread.

Greetings Horde - hope everyone is well!

Well, I'm back from Yosemite! The park was beautiful as always. I encourage anyone with the ability and opportunity to experience it to do so at least once. If you're able to get off the beaten path, even better.

We had a great time with extended family group ranging in age from mopey 19 yo to wheelchair bound 95 yo.

As far as FWPs there were a number of disappointments. I'll probably detail them in a longer screed but the parks lodging/food concessionaire is doing a very poor job. There was just systemic poor execution of basic responsibilities. Like no ice for days in the park stores. Telling occupants of the Curry Village cabins that quiet time starts at 10 PM while a raucous party was occurring in the nearby employee housing. There is much more but I'll save it for now.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's Phone) at July 19, 2026 02:29 PM (QGaXH)

50 Aberdeen, in Scotland, ... Prime Minister, Andy Burnham, ...will be opening up the North Sea Oil! - Rumor is he's going to chuck the windmills too.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 19, 2026 02:31 PM (3oLMy)

51 39 Have a spring in the middle of the tee that bends, like a spring door stop.
Posted by: Rex B at July 19, 2026 02:23 PM (R0XxO)

like ...

https://boing.greg.technology

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 02:32 PM (6wpGE)

52 Pencil sharpen in going into my golf bag. Great idea.

Yes, the great question. How high do I place my ball. It turns out, it's not the height of the ball, it's the depth of the swing.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 02:32 PM (qFwJc)

53 You should have children playing here! You should have families having picnics, you should have a goddamn petting zoo! Instead you've got these stupid electric carts for you old men with nothing better to do!
Posted by: Bill Foster at July 19, 2026 02

Fine with all of this as long as we can play right through, you get bonked you get bonked. No penalty. More fun. Targets even.

Posted by: From about That Time at July 19, 2026 02:33 PM (sl73Y)

54 Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 19, 2026 02:31 PM (3oLMy)

This is a light-hearted thread. Keep the news for serious threads.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 19, 2026 02:34 PM (l4RKn)

55 As sign I recently saw: Please do not use metal tees. They damage our mower blades.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 02:36 PM (qFwJc)

56 A good rule of thumb for the driver is when placing it behind the teed ball, the top of the driver should bisect the equator of the ball.

Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 02:36 PM (J4Dwc)

57 naturalfake , I was reminded this morning that the US is one of the few countries in the world that takes the right of personal property seriously.

Fine them, fine. Confiscate everything? That is tyranny.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 02:39 PM (qFwJc)

58 56 A good rule of thumb for the driver is when placing it behind the teed ball, the top of the driver should bisect the equator of the ball.
Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 02:36 PM (J4Dwc)
How can one see the equator with all those little craters?

Posted by: Eromero at July 19, 2026 02:39 PM (LHPAg)

59 51 39 Have a spring in the middle of the tee that bends, like a spring door stop.
Posted by: Rex B at July 19, 2026 02:23 PM (R0XxO)

like ...

https://boing.greg.technology
Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 02:32 PM (6wpGE)

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at July 19, 2026 02:27 PM (3UbC6)

; )

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 02:39 PM (6wpGE)

60 "top of the driver should bisect the equator of the ball."

If I could only get my mind and muscles to obey me?

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 02:40 PM (qFwJc)

61 good rule of thumb for the driver is when placing it behind the teed ball, the top of the driver should bisect the equator of the ball.
Posted by: one hour sober at July

Never golfed at the equator, think it would be way too hot.

Posted by: From about That Time at July 19, 2026 02:41 PM (sl73Y)

62 Skip has FWPs! From the Tech Thread:

36 On tech problems. Yesterday on long drive listened to podcast on my phone all the way. Got there and phone decided it didn't accept mobile data. Nothing was turned off and didn't get back on line until got home WiFi. Maybe if I coould restart it might have fixed it but I can't turn my phone off ond on. Its a non woking button issue.
Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 06:03 AM (Ia/+0)

149 Phone still has no mobile data available
Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 08:26 AM (Ia/+0)

172 Getting a new Crome update available since yesterday yet can't figure out how to update, wonder if thats its problem
Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 08:46 AM (Ia/+0)

First, go to Settings. My icon looks like a Mercedes logo with gear teeth. If it isn't on one of your main screens, there are two ways to get it. One is to swipe up on your main screen to show all installed apps, and then you can hold and drag Settings onto your main screen (or just open it). The other is to swipe down for the comm summary, then swipe down again for quick settings like Mobile Data and Airplane Mode, and tap the little unlabeled gear icon in the lower right.

~ cont. ~

Posted by: SciVo at July 19, 2026 02:41 PM (Sy6m/)

63 ~ cont. ~

In Settings, scroll to the bottom, and Software Update is where you can manually trigger a check for updates and install a downloaded update. Take care of that first.

If Mobile Data is on, Airplane Mode is off, your software is updated, and you're still not connected, then go back to Settings. Find System near the bottom and tap Reset Options. Make sure you have your Wi-Fi password handy -- I'm not sure if you'll need to re-enter it, but this is a bit of a nuclear option for when all else has failed -- then "Reset network settings."

Posted by: SciVo at July 19, 2026 02:41 PM (Sy6m/)

64 46 I'm very proud of my sharpened stubby tees.

Please clap.
Posted by: Doof

I think this is a terrible idea.

Posted by: Tiny Dracula at July 19, 2026 02:42 PM (XE5AP)

65 Bill Foster, take your kids to a park. My green fees pay the wages of the workers that keep these venues so beautiful.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 02:43 PM (qFwJc)

66 Among Us has turned into a cash machine

Posted by: Accomack at July 19, 2026 02:43 PM (GbONR)

67 46 I'm very proud of my sharpened stubby tees.

Please clap.
Posted by: Doof

Shut up, this will save me a lot of work.

Posted by: Tiny Vincent Price, in the tiny remake of Last Man on Earth at July 19, 2026 02:44 PM (XE5AP)

68 No........
Never reset network settings. No. Just no.

Posted by: From about That Time at July 19, 2026 02:45 PM (sl73Y)

69 A faulty workman blames his tools.
And I'm saddened beyond belief that Doof suffers from Low Tee.

Posted by: Bigg Farma at July 19, 2026 02:46 PM (JM9I6)

70 "Sharpened stubby tees?" Please tell me that it's not about me.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 02:46 PM (qFwJc)

71 I thought they made nylon tees. Or, are they generally banned because they chew up lawn blades?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 19, 2026 02:47 PM (diia5)

72 I've been teed off all weekend. This thread is not helping.

Posted by: Thanks Doof at July 19, 2026 02:47 PM (JM9I6)

73
We were in Scotland a couple of weeks ago ago,
And decided to take a look at St Andrew's.

It is a very modest looking place. Sort of like a well-groomed nine hole golf course.

From what I could see, it didn't look particularly difficult buuuuut things might look quite different when you're teeing off.

Welp, save your pennies and maybe you can have a great Scottish weekend with golf at St Andrew's and salmon fishing in Scottish streams.

Posted by: naturalfake at July 19, 2026 02:48 PM (iJfKG)

74 I see at least 11 bogies in that top photo. Are those 3rd world tees?

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at July 19, 2026 02:49 PM (sYM3s)

75 SciVo
Nothing of that seems amiss, have on schedule automatic shutdown 2 days a week and restart,but haven't found where I did that yet

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 02:49 PM (Ia/+0)

76 Welp, save your pennies and maybe you can have a great Scottish weekend with golf at St Andrew's and salmon fishing in Scottish streams.
Posted by: naturalfake

Yes, but have you gone Salmon Fishing in the Yemen?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 19, 2026 02:49 PM (diia5)

77 btw, I am not going out with the St. Anne golf group tomorrow to play Hartsville Country Club. I love the venue. I don't care about the cost. But c'mon man, I am not paying money to be miserable. It's just too hot.

Maybe I will go bowling.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 02:50 PM (qFwJc)

78 Hard to burn the golf course down.

Tactical nuke.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at July 19, 2026 02:50 PM (zZu0s)

79 Oooh...World Cup Finals is getting a flyover. Trump is there!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 19, 2026 02:50 PM (l4RKn)

80 74 I see at least 11 bogies in that top photo. Are those 3rd world tees?
Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at July 19, 2026 02:49 PM (sYM3s)

Cruel.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, with a sand wedge in the bunker at July 19, 2026 02:50 PM (XE5AP)

81
Finished with my assignment. There was a Boston Terrier supported entry. Every damn class had some piece of junk to present as a trophy. Usually these are small. Today's were large.

At Best of Breed there were trophies for Best of Breed, Best of Opposite, Select Dog, Select Bitch and Best Owner-Handled. There was so much stuff on my table that I had to tell the trophy chair to take it somewhere else and hand it out. Unfortunately, she was nowhere to be seen.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 19, 2026 02:51 PM (UU6Zb)

82 There ain't nothin' stoppin' ya, Bill. Buy up some land, lovingly maintain it, put your petting zoo in there, and let all and sundry frolick on your emerald swards, eat your geese and zoo animals, OD on fent, and shoot each other if it's a hot day.

I don't golf, I don't get the draw of it, but I do understand why they're so nice, as you note - it's because they aren't letting las familias y ninos past the fence.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 19, 2026 02:51 PM (BI5O2)

83 The Paolo, he does not know about, this, how you say, stubby tee.

Posted by: The Paolo at July 19, 2026 02:51 PM (2Ez/1)

84

You must have played the wrong ball somewhere on the 18th fairway. We are playing strict rules, so I'm afraid you lose the hole and the match.

Posted by: Double naught spy at July 19, 2026 02:52 PM (Cqx++)

85 When I think of Scotland and St. Andrew's, I thought of forests.

LOL. What a fool I am. Barren. St. George Utah barren. Just colder, except for maybe today.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 02:53 PM (qFwJc)

86 Never golfed at the equator, think it would be way too hot.
Posted by: From about That Time at July 19, 2026 02:41 PM (sl73Y)

Warlords, hippos, rhinos, pissed off elephants, lions. Hard pass.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 19, 2026 02:53 PM (wOO3z)

87 LOL. What a fool I am. Barren. St. George Utah barren. Just colder, except for maybe today.
Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 02:53 PM (qFwJc)

It's because of all the Haggis roaming around on the barren crags and tarns.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, with a sand wedge in the bunker at July 19, 2026 02:54 PM (XE5AP)

88 It's because of all the Haggis roaming around on the barren crags and tarns.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, with a sand wedge in the bunker at July 19, 2026 02:54 PM (XE5AP)

Are you casting aspersions on Haggis?

It's delicious!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 19, 2026 02:56 PM (l4RKn)

89
A zillion years ago when I played golf, one of our foursome had had a string of bad holes. He came fuming up to the next tee, set up and was ready to swing. I said quietly, "You're in front of the markers."

He turned, looked, slammed his club into the ground, reset, swung and drove his shot into the pond next to the fairway. I felt like I'd been on vacation for three weeks.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 19, 2026 02:56 PM (UU6Zb)

90 Is today the last game of the Men's Metric Kickball competition?

Posted by: I gotta ask at July 19, 2026 02:57 PM (2Ez/1)

91 Yes.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 19, 2026 02:58 PM (wOO3z)

92 Nice idea for broken golf tees. But I still discard them after I break them.

Speaking of golf, I am getting back into the game.
There is a driving range near me where I can hit a bucket of balls and 2 nice golf courses.
I also can take the drive out to Long Island and play Bethpage and its 5 courses.

I am also going to look at replacing my clubs. I have had my irons since the early 90's. My driver and 3 wood since the 2010's.
Of course what ever I get will be fitted to me.

Posted by: Scuba_Dude at July 19, 2026 02:58 PM (dZE4s)

93 >>I don't golf, I don't get the draw of it

It’s a slice of life for those who play

Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 02:58 PM (J4Dwc)

94 61 good rule of thumb for the driver is when placing it behind the teed ball, the top of the driver should bisect the equator of the ball.
Posted by: one hour sober at July

Never golfed at the equator, think it would be way too hot.
Posted by: From about That Time at July 19, 2026 02:41 PM (sl73Y)

I recall Ralphie's Dad claimed his car would freeze up in the middle of July at the equator....that probably qualifies as an obsolete FWP with the introduction of antifreeze and closed pressurized cooling systems.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's Phone) at July 19, 2026 02:58 PM (QGaXH)

95 Then fades away when you get old

Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 02:59 PM (J4Dwc)

96 84

You must have played the wrong ball somewhere on the 18th fairway. We are playing strict rules, so I'm afraid you lose the hole and the match.
Posted by: Double naught spy at July 19, 2026 02:52 PM (Cqx++)
I play a Slazenger.

Posted by: Eromero at July 19, 2026 02:59 PM (LHPAg)

97 >I don't golf, I don't get the draw of it

It’s a slice of life for those who play
Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 02:58 PM (J4Dwc)

Its difficult. The motion is unnatural. Works odd muscles. It is fun to test yourself against something so unforgiving. You are outside. Its quietish with some buddies. It feels really good to hit a difficult shot.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at July 19, 2026 03:01 PM (zZu0s)

98
There's a bathroom wall in my mother's house that has defied every attempt to support a towel rack. A lousy towel rack.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia's Phone at July 19, 2026 03:02 PM (mmrXZ)

99 Its difficult. The motion is unnatural. Works odd muscles. It is fun to test yourself against something so unforgiving. You are outside. Its quietish with some buddies. It feels really good to hit a difficult shot.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at July 19, 2026 03:01 PM (zZu0s)

It is what the Scots went to after they realized that self-flagellation was not working

Posted by: Kindltot at July 19, 2026 03:02 PM (rbvCR)

100 In another 1WP trying a experiment I kind of wanted to do with gasoline quality. It would be a waste in a truck, but in a SUV might prove something. So except for initial fill up, been putting in middle grade. Srems already it says mpg has gone up
But will track gallons and miles for a while and see.
Quite a difference having a 10 gallon tank and trucks 35 gallon

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 03:02 PM (Ia/+0)

101 Select Bitch
Used to date her

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 19, 2026 03:03 PM (5Tbx2)

102 I really like that all the Argentinians are singing their national anthem instead of barely mumbling along or not singing at all like American sports all athletes.

Good for them.

Posted by: naturalfake at July 19, 2026 03:03 PM (iJfKG)

103 I used to play golf with a guy we called a Helicopter Pilot. When he made a bad shot he would throw his club so that it made a wop-wop helicopter sound.

Posted by: toby928(c) at July 19, 2026 03:03 PM (4NO2D)

104 86 Never golfed at the equator, think it would be way too hot.
Posted by: From about That Time at July 19, 2026 02:41 PM (sl73Y)

----------

FUN FACT: If your equator course has a fairway that faces west, you'll find that your drives go farther due to the rotation of the Earf.

'Tis science

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 19, 2026 03:03 PM (9nUTf)

105 There's a bathroom wall in my mother's house that has defied every attempt to support a towel rack. A lousy towel rack.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia's Phone at July 19, 2026 03:02 PM (mmrXZ)

I saw the neatest thing, a multi rack towel warmer.

Posted by: Kindltot at July 19, 2026 03:03 PM (rbvCR)

106 I really like that all the Argentinians are singing their national anthem instead of barely mumbling along or not singing at all like American sports all athletes.

Good for them.
Posted by: naturalfake at July 19, 2026 03:03 PM (iJfKG)

That is because they can't pronounce all the words in the English song, "We Are Going To Cut Your Tonkers Off" to intimidate the English team and fans.

Posted by: Kindltot at July 19, 2026 03:05 PM (rbvCR)

107 Blond Morticia its a shame she doesn't live near me, I am if nothing else a professional carpenter.

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 03:05 PM (Ia/+0)

108 I used to play golf with a guy we called a Helicopter Pilot. When he made a bad shot he would throw his club so that it made a wop-wop helicopter sound.
Posted by: toby928(c)

Sounds like my uncle.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 19, 2026 03:05 PM (wOO3z)

109 I saw the neatest thing, a multi rack towel warmer.

Posted by: Kindltot at July 19, 2026 03:03 PM (rbvCR)

Warm towels on a cold day is true decadence.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 19, 2026 03:06 PM (l4RKn)

110
I recall Ralphie's Dad claimed his car would freeze up in the middle of July at the equator....that probably qualifies as an obsolete FWP with the introduction of antifreeze and closed pressurized cooling systems.
Posted by: Anonymous Rogue
---------
"He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master."

"In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."

Posted by: Ralphie at July 19, 2026 03:06 PM (XeU6L)

111 "you'll find that your drives go farther due to the rotation of the Earf."

BS. Great fun. try throwing a baseball either way on a moving train.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 03:06 PM (qFwJc)

112 I’d play golf exactly one time with Helicopter Pilot.

Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 03:07 PM (J4Dwc)

113 My FWP is that it's 88F and rising, I'm in my underpants, waiting for the world cup and I'm running of gin and tonic

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at July 19, 2026 03:07 PM (sYM3s)

114 "He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master."

"In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
Posted by: Ralphie at July 19, 2026 03:06 PM

Oh Fudge...

Posted by: toby928(c) at July 19, 2026 03:07 PM (4NO2D)

115 I actually have a couple old golf clubs. Thought often would be fun just going to a driving range.

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 03:07 PM (Ia/+0)

116
Select Bitch
Used to date her

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 19, 2026 03:03 PM (5Tbx2)

____________

A dog show is a place where you can say, "Wow! That bitch has a fabulous rear" and nobody blinks.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 19, 2026 03:08 PM (UU6Zb)

117 Gene Shepherd. One of my older brothers thought he was great.

"A Christmas Story" is funny, amusing, and sad that people live in Shitcago and suffer the cold, cold, cold.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 03:08 PM (qFwJc)

118 This always kinda, in a macabre way, makes me laugh. According to Sports Statistics:

"Emergency rooms across the country treat an average of over 30,000 to 40,000 golf-related injuries every year."

______________________________

Now, here's the best part. Of those 30,000 to 40,000 E/R visits, only 16% are related to getting hit by a ball. That means 84% of E/R visits (this doesn't even include injuries that didn't result in an E/R visit) are because of some other injury acquired on the golf course. I suspect drunken golf cart incidents or getting hammered by aloof guy swinging a club lead the pack. But, fights have to figure into the mix....not to mention Gavin Newsom's wife being in the area.

Posted by: Orson at July 19, 2026 03:09 PM (dIske)

119 "A Christmas Story" is funny, amusing, and sad that people live in Shitcago and suffer the cold, cold, cold.

----------

And then there are all the bullets in the spring and summer.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 19, 2026 03:09 PM (9nUTf)

120 Right now, the biggest golf-related ER visits might just be heat exhaustion.

Seriously. I "played" twice last week. I feel like I aged a year. No. Not doing that again.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 03:11 PM (qFwJc)

121 FWP: When you go to the club and realize that your clubs are out-dated and not this year's model.

I've bought my last set of clubs. Ever. The problem with my game is not the clubs.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at July 19, 2026 03:11 PM (sYM3s)

122 In your underpants waiting for a soccer game and running out of gin is no way to go through life, son.

Posted by: Dean Wormer at July 19, 2026 03:12 PM (2Ez/1)

123 34 A golf irritation is like the pinnacle of FWPs.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 19, 2026 02:17 PM (kpS4V)

So you're saying I outdid CBD on my first try?
Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 02:21 PM (QMAsf)

Doof, your first FWP? You're a natural.

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 03:12 PM (6wpGE)

124 P.G. Wodehouse quotes re golf:

https://shorturl.at/L1IMy

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 19, 2026 03:13 PM (XeU6L)

125 Running out of gin at a soccer game is a serious problem.

But overdoing is too. There was the time I smuggled a bottle of Barcardi 151 into a Royals games.

Too much fun.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 03:14 PM (qFwJc)

126 I've bought my last set of clubs. Ever. The problem with my game is not the clubs.
Posted by: Rev. Wishbone

Prezactly my problem.

Posted by: MkY at July 19, 2026 03:15 PM (q6tQZ)

127 It was fun. Just buy Cokes.

I should have shared it more generously.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 03:16 PM (qFwJc)

128 Wodehouse forgot that golf teaches humility.

Posted by: MkY at July 19, 2026 03:17 PM (q6tQZ)

129 Argentina or Spain?

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 03:17 PM (6wpGE)

130 119 "A Christmas Story" is funny, amusing, and sad that people live in Shitcago and suffer the cold, cold, cold.

----------

And then there are all the bullets in the spring and summer.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 19, 2026 03:09 PM (9nUTf)

In the movie Ralphie identifies the town he lives in. I forget the name but it's not Chicago. Somewhere in Indiana I think.

His dad reads a news story about a 'clodhopper' down in Terre Haute.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's Phone) at July 19, 2026 03:18 PM (QGaXH)

131 Hey, this has given me an idea.

Posted by: bluebell at July 19, 2026 03:18 PM (afFes)

132 131 Hey, this has given me an idea.
Posted by: bluebell at July 19, 2026 03:18 PM (afFes)

uh-oh

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 03:19 PM (6wpGE)

133 It's funny because it was 40 years ago. The Royals won the World Series that year while we lived there.

So many happy memories.

Did I tell you the Total Eclipse of the Sun came here and all we had to do was sit in plastic Adirondack chairs on the driveway and enjoy it?

No Lear Jets involved.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 03:19 PM (qFwJc)

134 122 In your underpants waiting for a soccer game and running out of gin is no way to go through life, son.
Posted by: Dean Wormer at July 19, 2026 03:12 PM (2Ez/1)

So....lose the underpants...?

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's Phone) at July 19, 2026 03:20 PM (QGaXH)

135 121 FWP: When you go to the club and realize that your clubs are out-dated and not this year's model.

I've bought my last set of clubs. Ever. The problem with my game is not the clubs.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at July 19, 2026 03:11 PM (sYM3s)

I have yet to buy my own clubs. The set I use (Lynx) was a Christmas gift from my brothers back in 2008, combined with a Big Bertha driver I got as my 15th Anniversary gift from CompUSA, plus a putter, sand wedge and another driver acquired from my Dad over the years. If I ever get the time to start playing as much as my brothers and Dad does, maybe I'll buy a new set....possibly even some fairway woods.

Posted by: goozer at July 19, 2026 03:20 PM (eTh1u)

136 Bluebell -
Sent you an email.
To the cookbook account.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 19, 2026 03:21 PM (2Ez/1)

137 No Lear Jets involved.
Posted by: no one of any consequence at July 19, 2026 03:19 PM (qFwJc)

You're where you should be all the time.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, with a sand wedge in the bunker at July 19, 2026 03:21 PM (XE5AP)

138 Saw it, QT! Just waiting for permission.

Posted by: bluebell at July 19, 2026 03:22 PM (afFes)

139 Check me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key

Posted by: nurse ratched. at July 19, 2026 03:22 PM (X/MmC)

140 How did I get to be a community laughing stock?

Posted by: Clodhopper From Terre Haute at July 19, 2026 03:23 PM (JM9I6)

141 Last night soccer game between England and France was just insane.

Defense? what's that?

Posted by: naturalfake at July 19, 2026 03:23 PM (iJfKG)

142 Argentina or Spain?
Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 03:17 PM (6wpGE)

My mistake. Upper Gibralter v Lower Brazil.

Spain may do better, now that Jose de San Martin is no longer leading the Argies

Posted by: Kindltot at July 19, 2026 03:23 PM (rbvCR)

143 *You're where you should be all the time.*
--------
I know someone who got their name because of a Carly Simon song.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 19, 2026 03:23 PM (2Ez/1)

144 138 Saw it, QT! Just waiting for permission.
Posted by: bluebell
===
Thanks.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 19, 2026 03:24 PM (2Ez/1)

145 You're where you should be all the time.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, with a sand wedge in the bunker at July 19, 2026 03:21 PM (XE5AP)

I wish someone had told my mom that.

Posted by: Kindltot at July 19, 2026 03:24 PM (rbvCR)

146 143 *You're where you should be all the time.*
--------
I know someone who got their name because of a Carly Simon song.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 19, 2026 03:23 PM (2Ez/1)

Gavotte?

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 03:24 PM (6wpGE)

147 What brand of underpants?

Posted by: And, Boxers Or Briefs? at July 19, 2026 03:25 PM (JM9I6)

148 129 Argentina or Spain?
Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 03:17 PM (6wpGE)
___________________________

Definitely Argentina. Normally I couldn't care less. However, all the lefty rags are coming out directly and saying you should want Spain to win because the fans from Argentina are conceited and rude. The NY Times did a big story requesting everyone cheer for Spain.

I suspect their basis is more related to Milei and the politics of each of those two nations.

Posted by: Orson at July 19, 2026 03:25 PM (dIske)

149 I know someone who got their name because of a Carly Simon song.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 19, 2026 03:23 PM (2Ez/1)

Is that where So-Vain McGruder got his name?

Posted by: Kindltot at July 19, 2026 03:25 PM (rbvCR)

150
Blond Morticia its a shame she doesn't live near me, I am if nothing else a professional carpenter.
Posted by: Skip

==============

That is a shame. I think one of the problems is that she keeps getting A Guy With A Better Idea Than The Last One to try to hang one. She just won't spring for a carpenter. And if you were here , skip , it would definitely be you.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia's Phone at July 19, 2026 03:26 PM (mmrXZ)

151 147 What brand of underpants?
Posted by: And, Boxers Or Briefs? at July 19, 2026 03:25 PM
*******
Duluth Buck Naked.

Posted by: Big Ballroom at July 19, 2026 03:27 PM (2Ez/1)

152 143 *You're where you should be all the time.*
--------
I know someone who got their name because of a Carly Simon song.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 19, 2026 03:23 PM (2Ez/1)

Jesse?

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's Phone) at July 19, 2026 03:28 PM (QGaXH)

153 Is that a broken golf tee in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Posted by: Sidney Sweeny at July 19, 2026 03:28 PM (NeM+a)

154 Is that where So-Vain McGruder got his name?
Posted by: Kindltot

She was referring to me.

Posted by: Anticipation Jones at July 19, 2026 03:29 PM (JM9I6)

155 I need a nap. But don't want to as should goto bed early as need to get up and out early tomorrow

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 03:29 PM (Ia/+0)

156 El Presidente is at the WC with Melania.

Posted by: Piper at July 19, 2026 03:29 PM (hftzA)

157 Argentina has Spain right where it wants them...slow, no chance 1st half.

Argentina has the world's best scoring subs and tends to play great at minute 70 onward. I swear they let Messi just jog most of the 1st half and play in a shell, so they can save him for those subs...

Posted by: Nova Local at July 19, 2026 03:31 PM (tOcjL)

158 154 Is that where So-Vain McGruder got his name?
Posted by: Kindltot

She was referring to me.
Posted by: Anticipation Jones at July 19, 2026 03:29 PM (JM9I6)

So many great answers to that post!

My FWP was missing this place all last week even though Yosemite was great despite FWPs alluded to in my earlier post.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's Phone) at July 19, 2026 03:31 PM (QGaXH)

159 then put the top part of the tee into your pocket to use on a Par 3 or a short Par 4 when you're using a 3W or 5W. But you break several more tees before you get a chance to use one of the handful of salvaged stubbies that you kept. So you end up with a collection that looks something like this.

I've been doing this for years, minus the sharpening of the ends. I also have so many golf balls that I found while looking for a sliced, pulled, hooked, pushed, golf shot, that I won't need to buy golf balls for years. Same for tees. I always find tees that are fine, they just flew when the golfer hit and then couldn't find the tee. I am a scavenger golfer.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at July 19, 2026 03:32 PM (sAmhv)

160 I loved that one play a little while ago when the one guy kicked the ball to another guy and then that guy kicked the ball to another guy and then THAT guy kicked the ball sorta kinda in the direction of the goal but then the other team had a guy there who kicked the ball to a guy and that that guy kicked the ball toward 2 guys of opposing teams. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see which team's guy would get to kick it out of bounds!

What a beautiful game!

Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 03:33 PM (QMAsf)

161 So is Mick Jagger.

Posted by: Piper at July 19, 2026 03:33 PM (hftzA)

162 Yo! Semite!

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 19, 2026 03:34 PM (wjP5W)

163 I am ignoring you, Doof.

Posted by: Piper at July 19, 2026 03:35 PM (hftzA)

164 Doof, your first FWP? You're a natural.
Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 03:12 PM (6wpGE)

Thanks! Maybe I'll do another one some time. I do have lots of FWPs!

Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 03:36 PM (QMAsf)

165 163 I am ignoring you, Doof.

Posted by: Piper at July 19, 2026 03:35 PM

Oof, Doof is in the doggo house.

Posted by: Scuba_Dude at July 19, 2026 03:37 PM (dZE4s)

166 129 Argentina or Spain?
Posted by: m

Argentina but only because it will piss off the usual suspects. I'm watching the British Open and racing at North Wilkesboro. I work all weekend so I'm catching up right now.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at July 19, 2026 03:37 PM (sAmhv)

167 I am ignoring you, Doof.
Posted by: Piper at July 19, 2026 03:35 PM (hftzA)

Because you know I am not wrong!

Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 03:38 PM (QMAsf)

168 Useable for sure. But they're ugly! So what to do if you have OCD and don't want jagged stubby tees?

Quit golfing, throw all your golf clubs, tee, balls away...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at July 19, 2026 03:38 PM (l3cgK)

169 166 129 Argentina or Spain?
Posted by: m

Argentina but only because it will piss off the usual suspects. I'm watching the British Open and racing at North Wilkesboro. I work all weekend so I'm catching up right now.
Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at July 19, 2026 03:37 PM (sAmhv)

Watch the Open to the end...

Posted by: Nova Local at July 19, 2026 03:39 PM (tOcjL)

170 A golf irritation is like the pinnacle of FWPs.7
Posted by: All Hail Eris

So you're saying I outdid CBD on my first try?
Posted by: Doof

It's a bit odd that you included the solution in the Content.

And that it didn't involve fire.

Posted by: mikeski at July 19, 2026 03:40 PM (VHUov)

171 Wodehouse forgot that golf teaches humility.
Posted by: MkY
-------
"Confidence, of course is an admirable asset to a golfer, but it should be an unspoken confidence. It is perilous to put it into speech. The gods of golf lie in wait to chasten the presumptious."

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 19, 2026 03:41 PM (XeU6L)

172 Hey Doof, there are a couple of golf courses near where we will be in October.

I can always throw my clubs into the back of the Jeep and we can do a round. ;-)

Posted by: Scuba_Dude at July 19, 2026 03:41 PM (dZE4s)

173 167 I am ignoring you, Doof.
Posted by: Piper at July 19, 2026 03:35 PM (hftzA)

Because you know I am not wrong!
Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 03:38 PM (QMAsf)

If you don't want to watch the WC, Movies! Channel is showing Ricky and Lucy in 'The Long Long Trailer'. That will be me and Mrs next month....

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's Phone) at July 19, 2026 03:42 PM (QGaXH)

174 Well Hell! There's your problem. Your using Callaways.
Switch to Pinnacle and your game will improve.

Posted by: Diogenes at July 19, 2026 03:42 PM (2WIwB)

175 Hey Doof, there are a couple of golf courses near where we will be in October.

I can always throw my clubs into the back of the Jeep and we can do a round. ;-)
Posted by: Scuba_Dude at July 19, 2026 03:41 PM (dZE4s)

Set it up! I'd love to play some mediocre golf with you.

Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 03:43 PM (QMAsf)

176 >>Quit golfing, throw all your golf clubs, tee, balls away...

Take the balls to a shooting range, toss them out there at about a hundred yards and let fly the .223/5.56 rounds at them

Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 03:44 PM (J4Dwc)

177 Eubull? Eubull ong to me?

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 03:45 PM (6wpGE)

178 In the movie Ralphie identifies the town he lives in. I forget the name but it's not Chicago. Somewhere in Indiana I think.
------

Ironically, it was filmed in Toronto, I think.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 19, 2026 03:45 PM (XeU6L)

179 >>>What a beautiful game!

Posted by: Doof

>You forgot when they flop like Lebron James and grab their shin and nobody even touched their shin.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at July 19, 2026 03:48 PM (sYM3s)

180 El Presidente is at the WC with Melania.
Posted by: Piper at July 19, 2026 03:29 PM (hftzA)

WC = Water Closet; i.e. the toilet?!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at July 19, 2026 03:48 PM (P6E1+)

181 THIS is interesting, if true!

Anonymous Israeli intelligence sources are telling journalists that Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei is "not in Iran."

Also, Israel says it regards the fall of Iranian missile debris near Eilat as an act of war.

Posted by: mnw at July 19, 2026 03:50 PM (RCjYY)

182 FWP: When you go to the club and realize that your clubs are out-dated and not this year's model.

I've bought my last set of clubs. Ever. The problem with my game is not the clubs.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at July 19, 2026 03:11 PM (sYM3s)

***

A couple years ago I was playing at a really nice course in Virginia. Using a caddy was required. I asked.for my driver and the guy started laughing. Said my driver (Great Big Bertha) was an antique. It was about 15 years old. So I went down and got a new driver. Jeez! The technology is incredible. You still gotta swing the damn thing, but the club sure does make a difference.

Posted by: Diogenes at July 19, 2026 03:51 PM (2WIwB)

183 175 Set it up! I'd love to play some mediocre golf with you.

Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 03:43 PM

Ok, I am getting there late Thursday, but I think I can push it up a day.

Will get back to you on it.

Posted by: Scuba_Dude at July 19, 2026 03:53 PM (dZE4s)

184 If you have only an hour to live, watch a soccer game. It’ll seem like a month.

Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 03:54 PM (J4Dwc)

185 Instead you've got these stupid electric carts for you old men with nothing better to do!
Posted by: Bill Foster at July 19, 2026 02:21 PM (45BvE)

Hey!!!
I resemble that remark!

Posted by: Diogenes at July 19, 2026 03:54 PM (2WIwB)

186 The future is plastic.

Posted by: Joe Mama at July 19, 2026 03:56 PM (TezPK)

187 Half time. No score.

Posted by: Piper at July 19, 2026 03:56 PM (Dd38x)

188 184 If you have only an hour to live, watch a soccer game. It’ll seem like a month.

Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 03:54 PM

Naah, the last 10 minutes of a basketball game grants you eternity.

Posted by: Scuba_Dude at July 19, 2026 03:56 PM (dZE4s)

189 I missed most of the book thread, just went back now and saw Donna&&&'s devastating news.

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at July 19, 2026 03:57 PM (0JWOm)

190 Only good thing a golf tee is good for is plugging holes in wooden boats & the course makes a good motorcycle riding place.

Posted by: Bob at July 19, 2026 03:57 PM (cNhbl)

191 but the club sure does make a difference.
Posted by: Diogenes
-----

Preach it brother!

Posted by: Michael Skakel at July 19, 2026 03:58 PM (XeU6L)

192 golf:

Barstool Sports
@barstoolsports
2h
Clutch: Ryan Fox Catches Absolute Fire Down The Stretch, Is Complete Nails And Drills A Putt On 18 To Pull Out An Insane Win At The Open

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 03:59 PM (6wpGE)

193 I enjoyed doing this FWP thread. Hopefully I'll get to do another!

See some of you for the ONT later!

Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 03:59 PM (QMAsf)

194 Naah, the last 10 minutes of a basketball game grants you eternity.

Posted by: Scuba_Dude at July 19, 2026 03:56 PM (dZE4s)

*nods knowingly*

Posted by: Dean Smith-era UNC Tarheel fan at July 19, 2026 03:59 PM (B0NCh)

195 193 I enjoyed doing this FWP thread. Hopefully I'll get to do another!

See some of you for the ONT later!
Posted by: Doof at July 19, 2026 03:59 PM (QMAsf)

Thanks for hanging around and jabbering with us!

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 04:01 PM (6wpGE)

196 FOOD NOOD

Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 04:01 PM (Ia/+0)

197 Thankfully, I've immune to finding out who won events I'm currently catching up on. My work schedule makes it impossible to NOT find out winners/losers, scores, etc, because it's the internet age. It's just out there. I don't worry about it and watch anyway. I like Ryan Fox so good for him. Good to see somebody else and not the usual suspects. Been a while since New Zealand had a major champion.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at July 19, 2026 04:02 PM (sAmhv)

198 You, too, CBD!

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 04:02 PM (6wpGE)

199 The LocateTrump.com website says Trump was in LA yesterday but does not state where he is today. The website seems anti-Trump (they use an unflattering image of him) but does not have much in the way of propaganda, other than a meter of what % of his time has been spent golfing. Current reading is 16%, which does not bother me at all.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at July 19, 2026 04:03 PM (P6E1+)

200 200

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 04:03 PM (6wpGE)

201 Was out earlier trimming fronds from my sabal palms. Had no idea paper wasps can live in those trees. Got stung on the cheek. Think I’ll hire someone to finish the job.

Posted by: one hour sober at July 19, 2026 04:04 PM (J4Dwc)

202 Just got here. Thanks Doof. I'm not the only one who picks up broken tees to use on par 3's. I'm sure this comment will be willowed.

Posted by: Indiana Lurker at July 19, 2026 04:10 PM (3ZVqj)

203 196 FOOD NOOD
Posted by: Skip at July 19, 2026 04:01 PM (Ia/+0)

Posted by: m at July 19, 2026 04:11 PM (6wpGE)

204 I got distracted with a phone call.

Yes, the correct answer for the Carly Simon song is "Jesse."

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 19, 2026 04:45 PM (2Ez/1)

205 Or you could use plastic tees.

Posted by: Tommy Shanks at July 20, 2026 06:10 AM (KDpmu)

206 Hit the BALL, not the TEE. And don't play Callaway balls. Play a big boy ball like Titleist. Jeesh.

Posted by: Indy Bill at July 20, 2026 10:15 AM (a1sX2)

207 not a sport.
those tees, broken or not, make great vacuum hose plugs.

Posted by: cmeat at July 20, 2026 01:32 PM (R11M+)

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