Biden Slurs and Stumbles His Way Through Ad for His Ghostwritten "Memoir"

This drooling imbecile was paid $10 million by the corrupt corporate media for a book that won't make $2 million.

As ghastly as that corruption is, at least we can take solace in Biden feeling disrespected by the fact he only got $10 million -- the clean, articulate black man (whoah, that's storybook, man!) who proceeded him got $60 million. (Plus a hundred million from propaganda op Netflix, just for existing.)

And now he's doing videos to sell this POS before he dies.

Former President Joe Biden will release his memoir this fall at a date set for two weeks after midterm elections in which Democrats seek to regain control of Congress.
...
The memoir Promise Me, America will focus on his four years leading the nation, as Breitbart News reported.
Many Democrats remain divided on Biden's legacy and his ill-fated journey to seek a second term in the White House while questions have been raised about Biden's mental decline while he was in the White House and the alleged use of an autopen.

His own party's leaders hope to keep the fall campaign focused on the record of Republican President Donald Trump, the AP report notes, rather than that of a man who drifted out of view when all attempts to return to the highest office in the land came to nothing and his own party turned on him.
"'Promise Me, America' is about the challenges we faced as a nation. It's about the decisions I made and why I made them," Biden said in a video statement accompanying Wednesday's announcement. "Most of all, it's about my faith in the promise of America."

Below: A clearly mentally-ravaged Biden slurs his way through an ad for "his" ghostwritten book of lies. This short video has more cuts in it than a Michael Bay action sequence.

I’ve written a book about my time as President. It’s called PROMISE ME, AMERICA. It’s coming out November 17th and is available for preorder now. https://t.co/uMINr9efxS @littlebrown pic.twitter.com/yzWfZyD31A
— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) July 15, 2026

Incredible to watch this video and remember that Biden and his team fought for him to serve a second term. This is a recorded video, no doubt with multiple takes, and in the finished product he can barely speak https://t.co/PguoTKwd8O
— Aidan McLaughlin (@aidnmclaughlin) July 15, 2026

Plus: In what is now a beloved Democrat tradition, Chuck Schumer ripped ass while bloviating on camera.

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer appeared to suffer an embarrassing mishap on the Senate floor Tuesday when what sounded like a fart interrupted his remarks live on C-SPAN.
Schumer was criticizing President Trump over the war in Iran when the noise broke through the chamber's microphones.
"Now on Iran and the NDAA," the 75-year-old New York Democrat began before briefly pausing and continuing with his speech.

Did Chuck Schumer just break wind on the Senate floor? pic.twitter.com/2SPYoVOlWx
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) July 14, 2026

"This guy stinks like a Butt Convention." -- Britta Perry

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 02:10 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Firat!

Posted by: Flyguy at July 15, 2026 02:09 PM (d0hH6)

2 Or first even.

Posted by: Flyguy at July 15, 2026 02:10 PM (d0hH6)

3 The only question is did it give him a skid mark?

Posted by: steevy at July 15, 2026 02:11 PM (YwEeS)

4 Why they put that damn comma in biden’s book title.

Posted by: Eromero at July 15, 2026 02:11 PM (6tDvd)

5 In fairness a fart would be the most honest thing to come out of Schumer on the Senate floor in a decade or two...

Posted by: 18-1 at July 15, 2026 02:11 PM (sKqQm)

6 never trust a ....

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at July 15, 2026 02:11 PM (j+aD2)

7 I almost want to read this fake book tho

although if they'd just let Joetato dictate it it would have been a LOT funnier

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at July 15, 2026 02:12 PM (j+aD2)

8 Promise me, Cornpop

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:12 PM (n5tGW)

9
Who you gonna call?

Ghost writers!!

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:12 PM (HcfrK)

10 There are still people that say he's a sweet, nice guy that's mentally sharp, and the entire thing is the fault of the MSM being too right-wing...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at July 15, 2026 02:13 PM (l3cgK)

11 Why they put that damn comma in biden’s book title.
Posted by: Eromero

because it would imply something closer to the truth of their aims if it were "Promise me America"

Posted by: FeatherBlade at July 15, 2026 02:13 PM (vJrRc)

12 It was Mossad Op on Schumer.

Posted by: Eromero at July 15, 2026 02:13 PM (6tDvd)

13 9
Who you gonna call?

Ghost writers!!

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:12 PM (HcfrK)

Ghost Voters!

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at July 15, 2026 02:13 PM (l3cgK)

14 12 It was Mossad Op on Schumer.

Posted by: Eromero at July 15, 2026 02:13 PM (6tDvd)

I don't remember that piece of classical music...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at July 15, 2026 02:14 PM (l3cgK)

15 Many Democrats remain divided on Biden's legacy and his ill-fated journey to seek a second term in the White House

while questions have been raised about Biden's mental decline while he was in the White House and the alleged use of an autopen.

If he was that whacked, the book should be a hoot.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 15, 2026 02:14 PM (mISmA)

16 So Joe's written a Fairy tale ...

Posted by: It's me donna at July 15, 2026 02:14 PM (5DikP)

17 I lasted a minute, watching that decomposing meatsack

he sounds like a drunk
you know, when all the words just kind of slosh together

Posted by: Don Black at July 15, 2026 02:14 PM (ZxPkt)

18 I'm at the point where I cannot stand the sound of Buck Fiden's voice, slurring or not.

He called me garbage.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 15, 2026 02:14 PM (2Ez/1)

19 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:14 PM (2YhKe)

20
Memoirs from a man who told lies and can't remember.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:14 PM (HcfrK)

21 8 Promise me, Cornpop
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:12 PM (n5tGW)

I wonder if we're gonna get the final version of that story. I have always wanted to know just bad a dude cornpop was.

Posted by: Reforger at July 15, 2026 02:14 PM (F9nWj)

22 Better check yer shorts, Chuckie.

Posted by: wth at July 15, 2026 02:14 PM (UjdFS)

23
Cue the courageous comparisons to U.S Grant's memoir writing.

Posted by: Auspex at July 15, 2026 02:14 PM (Y8DZL)

24 A couple of years ago I saw video from the Senate floor of Schumer where he went to a seat that was empty and started gesturing and talking to that empty seat as if there was a person in it. It was the oddest thing.

There were people around him that he wasn't facing but none of them were paying attention to him so it isn't like he was just facing away from the person he was talking to

Posted by: 18-1 at July 15, 2026 02:15 PM (sKqQm)

25 "And we finally beat Medicare!"

God, that was a fun night!

Posted by: mnw at July 15, 2026 02:15 PM (RCjYY)

26 As ghastly as that corruption is, at least we can take solace in Biden feeling disrespected by the fact he only got $10 million -- the clean, articulate black man (whoah, that's storybook, man!) who proceeded him got $60 million. (Plus a hundred million from propaganda op Netflix, just for existing.)

But Biden was more popular and got 8 MILLION more votes than Owebama!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:15 PM (2YhKe)

27 >> Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer appeared to suffer an embarrassing mishap on the Senate floor Tuesday when what sounded like a fart interrupted his remarks live on C-SPAN.

Embarrassing AF.

Btw that was a shart.

Posted by: Eric Swallwell at July 15, 2026 02:15 PM (yv1Au)

28 Biden: "That's why I chose to step aside"

Narrator: That, and the pistol Nancy Pelosi was holding to your empty head.

Biden: Yeah, that too.

Posted by: Archimedes at July 15, 2026 02:15 PM (Riz8t)

29 Such a strange title, like he's asking America for 10% for the big guy.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:16 PM (n5tGW)

30 Biden's memoir

Chapter 4: Stuck in a hedge, what to do

Posted by: wth at July 15, 2026 02:16 PM (UjdFS)

31 7 I almost want to read this fake book tho

although if they'd just let Joetato dictate it it would have been a LOT funnier

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at July 15, 2026 02:12 PM (j+aD2)

Have it translated into several foreign languages and then back into English. It'll be a classic.

https://youtu.be/LD5Hgzayhj8

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at July 15, 2026 02:16 PM (l3cgK)

32 In fairness a fart would be the most honest thing to come out of Schumer on the Senate floor in a decade or two...

That wasn't a fart, it was an editorial comment by the teleprompter.

Posted by: Archimedes at July 15, 2026 02:16 PM (Riz8t)

33 This drooling imbecile was paid $10 million by the corrupt corporate media for a book that won't make $2 million.
Hunter's drug habit isn't cheap.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 15, 2026 02:16 PM (0Htd1)

34 But Biden was more popular and got 8 MILLION more votes than Owebama!!!

More votes then the popular first black president. More votes then the first would be female president.

Hell more votes then his "black" female vice president who said she would implement all his policies.

Either the Dems hate "black" indian women and black men or those votes were fake...

Posted by: 18-1 at July 15, 2026 02:16 PM (sKqQm)

35 Biden hasn't had this much fun since he stopped showering with his daughter.

Posted by: 18-1 at July 15, 2026 02:17 PM (sKqQm)

36 Restoring our democracy after the world’s first unarmed insurrection. *big, huge eye roll*

Posted by: Piper at July 15, 2026 02:17 PM (Dd38x)

37 Biden: "That's why I chose to step aside"

Narrator: That, and the pistol Nancy Pelosi was holding to your empty head.

Biden: Yeah, that too.
Posted by: Archimedes at July 15, 2026 02:15 PM (Riz8t)
---
Didn't you know that it has been considered quite likely that the sitting President never wrote his note of withdrawing from the race.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:17 PM (HcfrK)

38 I�ve written a book about my time as President. It�s called PROMISE ME, AMERICA. It�s coming out November 17th and is available for preorder now. https://t.co/uMINr9efxS@littlebrown pic.twitter.com/yzWfZyD31A

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) July 15, 2026

Holy shit he sounds horrible.......slurring slush slush slur.......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:17 PM (2YhKe)

39 "This drooling imbecile was paid $10 million by the corrupt corporate media for a book that won't make $2 million."

$2 million? Won't make $2 legit. Sure, some NGO or billionaire fake charity will buy some books to keep up appearances, but other than that there is no market whatsoever for this book.

Everyone hates Biden. The Right hates him for obvious reasons. The left probably hates him now more than the Right, because they blame him for shivving the Brown Whore (and they're probably right about that).

So ... who is gonna buy this book?

Posted by: Elric The Blade at July 15, 2026 02:18 PM (iFTx/)

40 Scummingowimvember is at least comprehensible if you listen closely.

I'm still not really convinced anybody knows what trunaliminiprazhure was supposed to mean.

Though he's no better when he's "cogent." Then it's all "muh butt's been wiped" and rambling about windshield oil.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 15, 2026 02:18 PM (BI5O2)

41 Wipe me, America.
- Chuck Schumer

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:18 PM (n5tGW)

42 According to regular stories in the Atlanta Black Star, Trump shits his pants all the time, wears diapers, has dementia, slurs, forgets, rambles, gets lost, and is deathly ill.

It's like everything we've seen about Biden, cast on to Trump but 10X.

It's hilarious.
It's like Redditt and DU.

(But on a more serious note, they have an audience that must actually believe this stuff.)

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at July 15, 2026 02:18 PM (3cUTc)

43 Promise Me, America
=======================
Hey Joe, ask not what your country can do for you...

Posted by: Huck Follywood at July 15, 2026 02:18 PM (Wd92X)

44 Promise Me, America that you won't vote for the Communists aka the Democrat Party.

Posted by: redridinghood at July 15, 2026 02:18 PM (NpAcC)

45 Didn't you know that it has been considered quite likely that the sitting President never wrote his note of withdrawing from the race.

I mean that was obvious

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at July 15, 2026 02:18 PM (j+aD2)

46 "a lifetime of service" -- never had a real job

Posted by: gnats local 678 at July 15, 2026 02:19 PM (CWTWj)

47 Did Joe Scarborough write a blurb for the book jacket?

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at July 15, 2026 02:19 PM (PiwSw)

48 Chapter 5: Dangers of bicycling

Posted by: wth at July 15, 2026 02:19 PM (UjdFS)

49
Holy fvck. No wonder it comes with captions.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 02:19 PM (mmrXZ)

50 The attack on Jan 6th and ending the war in Afghanistan ? Gonna be riveting...

Posted by: It's me donna at July 15, 2026 02:19 PM (5DikP)

51 So ... who is gonna buy this book?

why, you and me of course

taxpayers and a few bought by Archmere Academy

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at July 15, 2026 02:19 PM (j+aD2)

52
Promise Me, America, I Won't Fall Down The Stairs Again.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:19 PM (HcfrK)

53 I would feel sorry for Joe being exploited in his doddering demented state, if he hadn't been such an evil rotten lying cutthroat child-groping bastard piece of shit his entire life before he became senile.

Posted by: He deserves every bad thing and more at July 15, 2026 02:20 PM (TbWk/)

54 Do even hard core democrats want to read his book? There are liberals in my family, and I don't think any of them have any interest in Joe Biden. The only reasons they voted for him were because he was the democrat nominee, and they hate republicans.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 15, 2026 02:20 PM (0Htd1)

55 It's difficult to tell the difference between Joey's incoherent babbling and Schumer's fart. And people wonder why the DSA is cleaning the Dems clock

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 15, 2026 02:20 PM (m2wmY)

56 I made it a special point to never listen or watch even a second of Obie or Biden, and mostly succeeded. Transcripts alone were bad enough.

Frankly I can’t understand how anyone can tolerate any of the network “news”. I’m allergic to blow dried assholes spewing bullshit and blinking lights.

Posted by: Common Tater at July 15, 2026 02:20 PM (FxuSu)

57 Did Chuck Schumer just break wind on the Senate floor? pic.twitter.com/2SPYoVOlWx

— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) July 14, 2026

Is that wrong?

Posted by: Jerry Nadler at July 15, 2026 02:20 PM (2YhKe)

58 Wipe me, America.
- Chuck Schumer
Posted by: Guy Mohawk

Ffffffrrrrraaaappppp!

Posted by: rickb223 at July 15, 2026 02:20 PM (mISmA)

59 The first 50 book purchasers will get a signed diaper with DNA.

Posted by: That Guy at July 15, 2026 02:20 PM (yv1Au)

60 46 "a lifetime of service" -- never had a real job

Posted by: gnats local 678 at July 15, 2026 02:19 PM (CWTWj)

A whore has a better claim to that...

Posted by: Not Kumala Whoris at July 15, 2026 02:21 PM (l3cgK)

61 Everyone hates Biden. The Right hates him for obvious reasons. The left probably hates him now more than the Right, because they blame him for shivving the Brown Whore (and they're probably right about that).

So ... who is gonna buy this book?

Nobody but party and NGO functionaries. They won't READ it, but they'll buy it as a way of getting Biden to fade away gracefully...or as gracefully as a spastic flaming clown boner can fade.

Posted by: Archimedes at July 15, 2026 02:21 PM (Riz8t)

62 Hey man, when they use captions even though you're speaking English, it might be time to give it up.

Posted by: Zombie Ozzy Osbourne at July 15, 2026 02:21 PM (0e5Te)

63 Schumer is trying to suppress a laugh after he did it.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at July 15, 2026 02:21 PM (XvL8K)

64 I Got My Butt Wiped

A Memoir

By Some Guy Not Named Joe Biden

Posted by: JackStraw at July 15, 2026 02:21 PM (viF8m)

65 the clean, articulate black man (whoah, that's storybook, man!) who proceeded him got $60 million. (Plus a hundred million from propaganda op Netflix, just for existing.)

Don't forget about me!!!

Posted by: Nobel Peace Prize at July 15, 2026 02:21 PM (HOltd)

66 At :12, is it just me, or do those look like packages of cocaine?

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 15, 2026 02:22 PM (0Htd1)

67 (But on a more serious note, they have an audience that must actually believe this stuff.)

These are the same people that claimed there were no Epstein clients/list in 2024 and only a stupid inbred right wing fool would believe otherwise and that currently claim Trump is part of the "Epstein class"

Posted by: 18-1 at July 15, 2026 02:22 PM (sKqQm)

68
Speaking of memoirs, I though the Heritage Foundation won a lawsuit to open up the Hur audio recordings of Biden a few weeks ago.

Haven't heard anything more.

Posted by: Auspex at July 15, 2026 02:22 PM (Y8DZL)

69
"Trueoompaloompanaprezr" was rejected as a title by the publishers.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:22 PM (HcfrK)

70 Yeah, remember when Nadler shit his pants during the press conference and had to do the poopy shuffle off the podium so it didn’t drip down his pants leg.

Posted by: That Guy at July 15, 2026 02:22 PM (yv1Au)

71 Jeez for a dude battling stage 47 terminal cancer of the whatyamacallit he looks just like he did when he was a world titan and smart as a whip. Managed to write a biography too. Bet there are tons of citations in it.

Posted by: Oldcat at July 15, 2026 02:22 PM (uhVAy)

72 So ... who is gonna buy this book?

why, you and me of course

taxpayers and a few bought by Archmere Academy
Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at July 15, 2026 02:19 PM (j+aD2)

Liberal PACs, county libraries, public school districts, Tides Foundation, Gates Foundation, CCP-controlled shell companies.

Posted by: The usual at July 15, 2026 02:22 PM (TbWk/)

73
I almost want to read this fake book tho

although if they'd just let Joetato dictate it it would have been a LOT funnier

Posted by: Black Orchid

================

This has got me laughing. I also want to read the fake book just for laughs. I hope someone summarizes the parts on why he decided to run for re-election and why he decided to get out.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 02:22 PM (mmrXZ)

74 UkNIrelandMBGA
@UkandNIbackup
This really is an unbelievable story and just about sums up the UK right now.
A small leafy village in Piddington has voted for independence from the United Kingdom because the Government is planning on dumping 1000 illegal aliens into a village of only 180 people.

-
No word on whether the village is named Lexington or Concord.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at July 15, 2026 02:22 PM (ndZc7)

75 Sabin Daughter Update: Thanks to all of you who responded to my request for prayers for my daughter. She is still unconscious but she is still alive. The doctors suspect a blockage to the left side of her heart. They are planning to take pictures then insert a stent.

Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin at July 15, 2026 02:23 PM (DK5Sh)

76 2nd sentence: *preceded

Posted by: bradc at July 15, 2026 02:23 PM (Ng5Tt)

77 Biden's sequel : Schumer's Fart Killed Beau

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 15, 2026 02:23 PM (m2wmY)

78 A big part of messaging from dems is going to be how awful billionaires are.

Except Obama.

Posted by: MJ at July 15, 2026 02:23 PM (XOmY9)

79 Hey now I want to be serious for a minute.

And I'm talking to you Donald.

We've had our disputes, but you gotta help me man. That guy keeps shitting in my depends. I need the FBI on this stat because I'll be in a room by myself and BAM he's done it without anyone noticing.

Posted by: Joe Biden at July 15, 2026 02:23 PM (sKqQm)

80 Wipe me, America.
- Chuck Schumer
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:18 PM (n5tGW)

Also works for Biden........

https://youtu.be/A1veW1s24Xo

Posted by: Jerry Nadler at July 15, 2026 02:23 PM (2YhKe)

81 "Corn Popped" was also rejected.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at July 15, 2026 02:23 PM (PiwSw)

82 Autopen is listed as the ghostwriter.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:23 PM (n5tGW)

83 They will sell a lot of copies out of Joe's Presidential Library.

Posted by: fd at July 15, 2026 02:23 PM (MWfyi)

84 Shiiiiiiit........

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:23 PM (2YhKe)

85 Joe, enunciate.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 15, 2026 02:24 PM (0Htd1)

86 Lot of fiber in the senate diet.

Or they are ordering Taco Bell for lunch.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at July 15, 2026 02:24 PM (zZu0s)

87 Eww. Flyguy firated.

Posted by: gKWVE at July 15, 2026 02:24 PM (gKWVE)

88 75 Sabin Daughter Update: Thanks to all of you who responded to my request for prayers for my daughter. She is still unconscious but she is still alive. The doctors suspect a blockage to the left side of her heart. They are planning to take pictures then insert a stent.
Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin at July

I am so sorry and will be praying for her and strength for you.

Posted by: Piper at July 15, 2026 02:24 PM (Dd38x)

89 (But on a more serious note, they have an audience that must actually believe this stuff.)
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at July 15, 2026 02:18 PM (3cUTc)

They just don't care about truth vs lies. I suppose after a while they may internalize the lies they spread for cover which is how Trump fools them so often.

Posted by: Oldcat at July 15, 2026 02:25 PM (uhVAy)

90 Geez, first Swalwell, then Nadler, now Schumer...is farting the DNC's first language?

Posted by: Archimedes at July 15, 2026 02:25 PM (Riz8t)

91 How dare you make fun of this convention! These things are beautiful. The ones in Arizona are internationally renowned and have appeared in movies and literature for generations!
.
.
.
Oh! "Butt". Uh, nevermind.

Posted by: Croaker at July 15, 2026 02:25 PM (kkG09)

92 How long do we keep pretending that Biden was legit elected? They found enough fraud in Georgia alone to overturn the election.

Posted by: That Guy at July 15, 2026 02:25 PM (yv1Au)

93 "Is it just me, or do those look like packages of cocaine?"

Speaking of cocaine, they're showing highlights of the 1986 World Cup and that fat coke addict Maradona scoring goals. 1986 was also the year Len Bias died from a cocaine overdose. Big year for cocaine.

Posted by: Wally at July 15, 2026 02:25 PM (0e5Te)

94 I bet this will be a #1 NYT Bestseller.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at July 15, 2026 02:25 PM (PiwSw)

95 If he weren't so old, everyone would think he was drunk when he recorded that video.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 15, 2026 02:26 PM (0Htd1)

96
Speaking of memoirs, I though the Heritage Foundation won a lawsuit to open up the Hur audio recordings of Biden a few weeks ago.

Haven't heard anything more.
Posted by: Auspex

==========

Audio quality is shyte. Axios published some of that stuff.

https://www.axios.com/2025/05/16/
biden-hur-tape-special-counsel-audio

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 02:26 PM (mmrXZ)

97 Portland announces they don't have enough police to handle emergencies

-
Well, as long as you have enough fags and Muzzies you'll be fine.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at July 15, 2026 02:26 PM (ndZc7)

98 That was an ass chuckle by Chuckles.

Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at July 15, 2026 02:26 PM (uKDEX)

99 Schumer even chuckles a little at his own fart. Maybe he's proud his rentboys haven't banged all the resilience out of his tired old squeaker. I'd have bet he's pretty much non-resonant as well as incontinent.

Posted by: spongeworthy at July 15, 2026 02:26 PM (sLLbN)

100 I'm happy that the Blue Angels aren't practicing over my house today as they do most Wednesdays (and Tuesdays). I get a temporary reprieve from the noise.

Instead, they're practicing over Pensacola Beach in preparation for the upcoming airshow there this weekend.

A low pass over the beach sends tents and other beach stuff flying. lol

https://tinyurl.com/5e95k7p4

Posted by: one hour sober at July 15, 2026 02:26 PM (J4Dwc)

101 I bet this will be a #1 NYT Bestseller.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at July 15, 2026 02:25 PM (PiwSw)

It would sell 3 copies and the NYT will put it at #1.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:26 PM (2YhKe)

102
It's the name of a poem he wrote back in '73.

Promise me, America... Promise me I'll be in government when your great grandchildren are eligible to vote. Promise me I can lie reflexively the whole time. Promise me I can take millions in kickbacks from the banking industry. Promise me I can take millions in kickbacks from the Ukraine. Promise me I can take millions in kickbacks from China. Promise me I can plagiarize. Promise me I can pander to whites and then turn them to pander to blacks. Promise me I can cheat on my wife. Promise me I can frame an innocent man for her death. Promise me my SS detail will cover up my crsckhead son's crimes and try to kill my opponent.

Promise me, America.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 15, 2026 02:26 PM (BI5O2)

103
"Do You Think Anybody Noticed?" was also rejected by the publishers as a title.

But it really came together after they worked past "Pardon me, America".

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:26 PM (HcfrK)

104 Chuck muffled it the best he could.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 15, 2026 02:27 PM (wOO3z)

105 Chapter 13: Beating Medicare to Death

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:27 PM (n5tGW)

106 Biden never had a legitimate chance against Trump. That’s why the 8 million extra phony baloney ballots.

In 2020 Biden never had a chance, and neither did Harris. Everyone knew that.

Biden gets the focus of the blame, in part because he’s the old pasty white guy democrat from 1972.

Harris is an airhead, worse than Biden if that’s possible, and had no chance, ever. The press and media did not want anyone to know this.

They can’t profitably announce 6 months out “It’s over”. They were milkin’ that shit on election day untIL 8 PM Pacific time LOL “it’s gonna be close! Tune in!”

Posted by: Common Tater at July 15, 2026 02:27 PM (FxuSu)

107 Hey! I sent an autographed copy to Barak. Not a joke. He hasn't thanked me yet. No kidding. I'm sure he will.

Posted by: Joe Biteum at July 15, 2026 02:27 PM (MWfyi)

108 could be worse. suppose chuck had eaten at taco bell?

Posted by: anachronda at July 15, 2026 02:27 PM (v3pYe)

109
A fart is just your butt saying "hello".

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:28 PM (HcfrK)

110 Wait 'til Schumer has to face some cute young DSA in his primary. That's 2028

Posted by: the senator in the red shirt at July 15, 2026 02:28 PM (gKWVE)

111 Schumer's fart was caused by his inability to cook cheeseburgers properly

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 15, 2026 02:28 PM (m2wmY)

112 Isn't Junior Cokehead McWhoreNoYellow coming out with a documentary and possibly another book about his stellar life and contribution to America's drug trade whoops...I mean democracy or some crap?

Posted by: Cheri at July 15, 2026 02:28 PM (oiNtH)

113 Chuck Schumer ripped ass while bloviating on camera.

A professional politician can have the stench coming out of both ends at the same time.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 15, 2026 02:28 PM (0Htd1)

114 I don't think that video ad is that bad. Sloppy Joe looks better than he has in years.

The production is nice, it looks good, and even the narration was good ... until he gets to the moldy, shop-worn, endless-obsession shibboleths of J6, "Restoring Democracy," and ... god help us all with this bullshit ... Ukraine.

In 500 years the Democraps will still be obsessing over J6 and Ukraine.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at July 15, 2026 02:28 PM (iFTx/)

115 A fart is just your butt saying "hello".
Posted by: Axeman

A body burp.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 15, 2026 02:29 PM (wOO3z)

116 100 I'm happy that the Blue Angels aren't practicing over my house today as they do most Wednesdays (and Tuesdays). I get a temporary reprieve from the ~~noise~~ sound of freedom.

fixt

Posted by: anachronda at July 15, 2026 02:29 PM (v3pYe)

117 Chapter one: Cornpop was a bad dude

Posted by: Shoofly the Boxing Mule at July 15, 2026 02:29 PM (ufJfM)

118 I really would be interested in an honest look at how the stupidest, most venal man in the Senate became president.

Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at July 15, 2026 02:29 PM (uKDEX)

119 They know it won't sell hardly any 'real' copies.

At this point its just blatant money laundering.

They take gigantic advances as just straight bribes, then they have their campaigns, PACs and NGOs buy them in bulk and either give them away at campaign events or just throw them in the trash.

It's just blatantly money laundering campaign, PAC and NGO funds into their pockets.

Posted by: DudeAbiding at July 15, 2026 02:29 PM (setIA)

120 Re: Wolfus's house hunt, from the Tech Thread:

129 Moving to a small town.

Outsiders definitely meet challenges.

One guy told me to put a bumper sticker from the local high school football team on your car.
Posted by: pawn at July 15, 2026 07:32 AM (R8m8a)

If you say something like, "Now that I'm here, I hope it never changes again," the funny part eases the serious part. They don't want it changed, and you did. But you can side with that sentiment moving forward.

Posted by: SciVo at July 15, 2026 02:29 PM (Sy6m/)

121 It would have been funny if Shroomer waved his hand while chuckling.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:29 PM (HcfrK)

122 Opening line:

Salute the Marines........

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:30 PM (2YhKe)

123 Holy shit he sounds horrible.......slurring slush slush slur.......
--
Strereren Na-o

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at July 15, 2026 02:30 PM (3cUTc)

124 A low pass over the beach sends tents and other beach stuff flying. lol
——-

Ugh. You would be surprised what the rotor wash from a UH60 or CH47 can do to tents and porta-potties and things like that in the field.

Posted by: Common Tater at July 15, 2026 02:30 PM (FxuSu)

125 As far as Biden's fake book- Another money laundering scheme. We all know that. Do the people who write this bs specialize in fake memoirs or do they attempt to write he should have just said excuseother legitimate books?

And I do not like Chuck Schumer , but everybody farts . I think he should have been like the little ballerina girl mentioned in an earlier thread who apparently said, "Even ballerinas fart!" But it's not as funny for a 80 year old politician to say, "Even politicians fart."
Schumer should have just excused himself and continued on with whatever he was speaking about

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 15, 2026 02:30 PM (D+BhG)

126 Trunalimunumaprzure!

Posted by: Joe pantsshitter at July 15, 2026 02:30 PM (O7YUW)

127
Sabin Daughter Update:

Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin

=============

Glad to hear there's progress.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 02:31 PM (mmrXZ)

128 74 UkNIrelandMBGA
@UkandNIbackup
This really is an unbelievable story and just about sums up the UK right now.
A small leafy village in Piddington has voted for independence from the United Kingdom because the Government is planning on dumping 1000 illegal aliens into a village of only 180 people.

-
No word on whether the village is named Lexington or Concord.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at July 15, 2026 02:22 PM (ndZc7)

_________________________

I've actually been following this. The "refugee camp" is placed squarely between two rural towns. Piddington, Oxforshire is just one of them. The "camp" will be where they settle the "boat people" who, at that point would have had no valid vetting. Additionally, they have already confirmed that occupants of that "camp" will have the freedom to leave anytime they wish.

Piddington is a rural town people visit to go hiking, and view some of the subsidiary campuses of Oxford University. The estimated population of the camp is not 1000. That's the toned down number. The true expectation is in excess of 2500.

Even the police there are very concerned.

Posted by: Orson at July 15, 2026 02:31 PM (dIske)

129 Chapter 6: Fucking Bernie

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:31 PM (n5tGW)

130 Secretary Hegseth: “I’m authorizing annual testosterone screening for service members 30 and older as part of their health assessment. Under 30 can opt in voluntarily.”

“This isn’t about artificial enhancement, it’s about restoring and optimizing natural levels so our warfighters stay lethal, resilient, and ready.”

“Modern battlefield demands maximum performance. We owe our warriors the best care, on duty and for life after the uniform.”

Posted by: redridinghood at July 15, 2026 02:31 PM (NpAcC)

131 "End of quote" Repeat the lie!

Posted by: Shoofly the Boxing Mule at July 15, 2026 02:31 PM (ufJfM)

132 A fart is just your butt saying "hello".
Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:28 PM (HcfrK)

A fart is just your colon burping hello to your nuts.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at July 15, 2026 02:31 PM (zZu0s)

133 56 I made it a special point to never listen or watch even a second of Obie or Biden, and mostly succeeded. Transcripts alone were bad enough.

Frankly I can’t understand how anyone can tolerate any of the network “news”. I’m allergic to blow dried assholes spewing bullshit and blinking lights.
Posted by: Common Tater at July 15, 2026 02:20 PM (FxuSu)
Me too, my friend, and you can throw Hellary and Billy Jeff in that group.

Posted by: Eromero at July 15, 2026 02:31 PM (6tDvd)

134 The book sales is a way for DC to say "So long, and thanks for all the pardons!"

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:31 PM (HcfrK)

135 IIRC the game is that every library in America buys 10 copies or something. And every NGO, which gets its money from the government buys as many as they can.

Contrary to what Ace is saying, I think the publishers know they'll make a killing on this because it's government subsidized. They have commitments already to cover all of the costs.

Posted by: MJ at July 15, 2026 02:32 PM (XOmY9)

136 The sky here in the mid Hudson is a nice hazy yellow. Those Canadian wildfires are doing a number on air quality

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 15, 2026 02:32 PM (m2wmY)

137 really would be interested in an honest look at how the stupidest, most venal man in the Senate became president
———

I don’t believe he wanted the job. I think he had to he threatened

Posted by: Common Tater at July 15, 2026 02:32 PM (FxuSu)

138 The ice monkeys need to get the fire put out. The sky around here is blotted out by smoke.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 15, 2026 02:32 PM (viF8m)

139 Top liked reply is by Scott Pressler:
Did you write it with an auto pen?

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at July 15, 2026 02:32 PM (3cUTc)

140 I almost want to read this fake book tho
although if they'd just let Joetato dictate it it would have been a LOT funnier
Posted by: Black Orchid

Dictated verbatim, it would be a moder. Voynich Manuscript. Looks like actual language, but the meaning is incomprehensible. Is there hidden information, or is it mindless gibberish. And will anyone every prove it one way or the other definitively?

Posted by: Moron Analyst at July 15, 2026 02:33 PM (HOltd)

141 America, I fart in your general direction!

- Chuck Schumer

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 15, 2026 02:33 PM (bFu5X)

142 Farts are your butt's way of reminding everyone they're exit only.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:33 PM (2YhKe)

143 Didn't Huey Long all but admit to streaming pp on the Senate floor when he was filibustering? June 12-13, 1935. Yes that was two days.

Posted by: gKWVE at July 15, 2026 02:33 PM (gKWVE)

144 Aged Florida woman got a randomly assigned license plate, "SQZ A55." She's not happy about her, "squeeze ass" plate. Can you sell your plates? If so, I think she's missing a money making opportunity.

http://tiny.cc/zds6101

Posted by: bonhomme at July 15, 2026 02:34 PM (mkw2N)

145 The sky here in the mid Hudson is a nice hazy yellow. Those Canadian wildfires are doing a number on air quality
Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 15, 2026 02:32 PM

Boston is the same way right now. You can smell the smoke, and there's a nice yellow haze over the seaport.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 15, 2026 02:34 PM (bFu5X)

146 They know it won't sell hardly any 'real' copies.
------------

The Jim Wright gambit. Interest groups/Unions bought huge quantities.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 15, 2026 02:34 PM (XeU6L)

147 I don’t believe Obama got the Netflix money for nothing.

Netflix needed ‘Net Neutrality’ and Obama gave it to them.

The reason Netflix needed it was because, at the time, they feared that the likes of AT&T, Comcast, and the rest of the ISPs were going to start charging Netflix large carriage fees because of the explosive increase in the amount of bandwidth being sent over their networks once Netflix began streaming video to every subscriber.

Net Neutrality put an end to that worry as the Big ISPs were no longer allowed to prioritize or throttle bandwidth hogs and had to treat every IP packet ‘neutrally’.

I’m certain that’s why the Obamas were paid off, I just can’t prove it, and neither can anybody else unless one of the participants confesses to the payoff with proof.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at July 15, 2026 02:34 PM (6ydKt)

148 Good thing FJB's video had closed-captioning.

Otherwise no one would be able to understand it.

Indian GTAs are more intelligible.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 15, 2026 02:34 PM (FZ29D)

149 Pfffft.

Posted by: Eric Swalwell (D-CA) at July 15, 2026 02:35 PM (0sNs1)

150 write he should have just said excuseother legitimate books?

Sorry for the goobledegook. Part of the second paragraph moved up. Meant " Do the people who write these fake memoirs specialize in this genre or they try to write other things first?"

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 15, 2026 02:35 PM (D+BhG)

151 YOU LEAVE CHUCK SCHUMER'S FARTCLAM ALONE!

Posted by: Citizens for Responsible Senatorial Flatulence (not an NGO) at July 15, 2026 02:35 PM (PiwSw)

152 I have no idea what motif his handlers were going for with that title, and I don't intend to find out, but holy shit doesn't it just sound like we're obliged to Biden rather than the other way around.

Posted by: mea culpa at July 15, 2026 02:35 PM (sL78b)

153 Aged Florida woman got a randomly assigned license plate, "SQZ A55." She's not happy about her, "squeeze ass" plate. Can you sell your plates? If so, I think she's missing a money making opportunity.

http://tiny.cc/zds6101

Posted by: bonhomme at July 15, 2026 02:34 PM

I saw one on my commute Monday that read "PB4 IGO". I LOL'd.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 15, 2026 02:35 PM (bFu5X)

154
I don't think that video ad is that bad.

Posted by: Elric The Blade

==============

Oh stop. Fine, the video is slick af, but the voiceover? Come on, man!

And what's funny to the point of being suspicious is, it's easy as pie to get clear vocals with current software. How did this production team not execute?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 02:35 PM (mmrXZ)

155 Biden's name on the skreet be "Dookie Brain".

Posted by: Corn Pop The 14th at July 15, 2026 02:35 PM (qC81n)

156 DC insiders have said that Jerry Nadler is the smelliest human being in the First World.

Chuck is just trying to keep up.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:35 PM (HcfrK)

157 Aged Florida woman got a randomly assigned license plate, "SQZ A55." She's not happy about her, "squeeze ass" plate. Can you sell your plates? If so, I think she's missing a money making opportunity.

http://tiny.cc/zds6101

Posted by: bonhomme at July 15, 2026 02:34 PM (mkw2N)
----
I'll take 'em!

Posted by: Cosmo "Assman" Kramer at July 15, 2026 02:36 PM (FZ29D)

158 >> But Biden was more popular and got 8 MILLION more votes than Owebama!!!

He actually got 15 MILLION more votes than Obama got in 2012, and 12 MILLION more than in 2008. This is all you really need to know there was fraud. The involvement of a foreign government pumping fake ballots into the system would track with the ridiculous number because they likely didn't think about how the total would look when they were doing it across multiple states with their hair on fire.

Posted by: the dandy at July 15, 2026 02:36 PM (8l8nW)

159 I remember a tale from a Russian defector who worked in Military Intelligence about a time when he was spying out of Vienna the spy head was looking to get more room for his guys and they peeked into the attic of the Embassy. There were these huge boxes of books by ex Premier Nikita Krushchev. Back when he wrote them there were competitions to give away as many as possible and the ambassador there had the bright idea to stuff them in the attic instead.

The GRU had to arrange a secret diplomatic cover mission pack the books, truck them to the airport and ship them to a secret GRU facility to have them burned in total secrecy. The West thought they had gotten some amazing spying win when they were coverting internal skulduggery.

Posted by: Oldcat at July 15, 2026 02:36 PM (uhVAy)

160 The memoir Promise Me, America will focus on his four years leading the nation, as Breitbart News reported.
-------

Leading the nation. 😂

Promise Me *AMERICA* 😂😂

MEMOIR 🤣🤣🤣

Posted by: ... at July 15, 2026 02:36 PM (jqCWg)

161 Aged Florida woman got a randomly assigned license plate, "SQZ A55." She's not happy about her, "squeeze ass" plate. Can you sell your plates? If so, I think she's missing a money making opportunity.

http://tiny.cc/zds6101

Posted by: bonhomme at July 15, 2026 02:34 PM

********

I'm the assman, Jerry!
I'm the assman!

Posted by: Kramer at July 15, 2026 02:36 PM (2Ez/1)

162 I saw Senatorial Flatulence open for GWAR at Shits and Grins in '98.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:36 PM (2YhKe)

163 Chapter VII

Tara Reid Is A Lying Slut!

subheading: And Anyway, I Never Met Her

Posted by: mnw at July 15, 2026 02:37 PM (RCjYY)

164
doesn't it just sound like we're obliged to Biden rather than the other way around.
Posted by: mea culpa

=============

Haha, yes. The next Obama book will be called "...or ELSE, America."

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 02:37 PM (mmrXZ)

165 SQZ A55." She's not happy about her, "squeeze ass"
-------

Holy shit I'm glad she didn't get

1MA CNT

Posted by: ... at July 15, 2026 02:37 PM (jqCWg)

166 Schumer must've actually eaten the uncooked burgers.

Posted by: Ian S. at July 15, 2026 02:37 PM (2ocoG)

167 Which body double did they use in the video?

Posted by: I gotta ask at July 15, 2026 02:38 PM (2Ez/1)

168 I wash cli, cli, cccl, limbing Jacobs l,l,l,l,adder and I fell off

Posted by: Stuttering Joe Biden at July 15, 2026 02:38 PM (S+j2h)

169
Promise Me, America, You Won't Look Too Close At My Presidency.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:38 PM (HcfrK)

170 And what's funny to the point of being suspicious is, it's easy as pie to get clear vocals with current software. How did this production team not execute?

You should have heard what we had to work with!!!

Posted by: The Production Team at July 15, 2026 02:38 PM (j+aD2)

171 Why is the old lady upset about the "squeeze ass" license plate? Probably the most she's gotten in years

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 15, 2026 02:38 PM (m2wmY)

172
Best of Breed for The Big Dummy at today's Houston KC show. Worked as steward from 7:00 until 1:00. Tired and aching.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 15, 2026 02:39 PM (pSoGj)

173
I saw one on my commute Monday that read "PB4 IGO". I LOL'd.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 15, 2026 02:35 PM (bFu5X)

I have a cousin who managed to get the state of Illinois give her a personalized plate that said BKWDS 96.

She was reasonably hot, too......I bet she got a LOT of attention while driving.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:39 PM (2YhKe)

174 yeah I love that old biddy getting Squeeze Ass

the Florida oranges just "chef's kiss"

Posted by: Black Orchid at July 15, 2026 02:39 PM (j+aD2)

175 Best of Breed for The Big Dummy at today's Houston KC show. Worked as steward from 7:00 until 1:00. Tired and aching.

congrats!!!

Posted by: Black Orchid at July 15, 2026 02:39 PM (j+aD2)

176 Chapter 19: The Taliban Loves Me

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:40 PM (n5tGW)

177 Can't wait.........someone's out to get Gavin:
--------------

Ruby Rippey-Gibney — the former San Francisco City Hall aide whose affair with Gov. Gavin Newsom nearly upended his political career — will tell her side of the story for the first time in an upcoming Vanity Fair piece, The California Post has learned.

Details of the piece remain unclear, but a source familiar with the matter said Rippey-Gibney intends to recount her perspective on the affair that rocked San Francisco politics in 2007 and has remained one of the most embarrassing moments in then-mayor of San Francisco Newsom’s life and career.

Posted by: beckster at July 15, 2026 02:40 PM (kX27y)

178 7 I almost want to read this fake book tho

although if they'd just let Joetato dictate it it would have been a LOT funnier

Posted by: Black Orchid
========
Have AI do it and summarize it. Good test to see if AI can speak dementia-ese.

Posted by: whig at July 15, 2026 02:40 PM (E4rtv)

179 Dr. Jill Biden, "I apologize to those who have supported us through all these times, both good and bad. Those responsible for this error have been sacked. Those who hired them have been sacked. And now I will sack myself."

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 15, 2026 02:40 PM (2YbhL)

180
Farts are your butt's way of reminding everyone they're exit only.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:33 PM (2YhKe)

Actually no. The specific sound produced is caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter as the gas is released.

Posted by: Wesley Crusher at July 15, 2026 02:40 PM (jqCWg)

181 Please tell me there's a chapter about them running the "biggest voter fraud operation in history."

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:40 PM (2YhKe)

182 Cheers for the Big Dummy.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 15, 2026 02:41 PM (wOO3z)

183 Actually no. The specific sound produced is caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter as the gas is released.
Posted by: Wesley Crusher at July 15, 2026 02:40 PM (jqCWg)

Butt cheeks, you insufferable twat.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:41 PM (2YhKe)

184 Dr. Jill Biden, "I apologize to those who have supported us through all these times, both good and bad. Those responsible for this error have been sacked. Those who hired them have been sacked. And now I will sack myself."

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 15, 2026 02:40 PM (2YbhL)
---
She sacked up!

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:41 PM (HcfrK)

185 If Joe passes while PDT is in office, will Trump, as the sitting POTUS, speak? OMG

Posted by: Jmel at July 15, 2026 02:41 PM (3TlS+)

186 Let him fade into the shadows of history and be swiftly forgotten.

Posted by: Gmac-WTF did you think was going to happen at July 15, 2026 02:42 PM (Q/FnY)

187 Farts are your butt's way of reminding everyone they're a love call.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 15, 2026 02:42 PM (Kt19C)

188 What are the betting odds he dies before the book comes out?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:42 PM (n5tGW)

189 Put him on TV as much as possible.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at July 15, 2026 02:43 PM (RIvkX)

190 anal sphincter
Is there any other?

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 15, 2026 02:43 PM (Kt19C)

191 "Promise me, America" Biden said to the little girl cringing from the groping and hair sniffing she had just suffered, "you won't tell your mommy or daddy."

Her parents, Bhodie and Summer, beamed on proudly as their daughter, America, squirmed and tried to leave the stage.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at July 15, 2026 02:43 PM (3cUTc)

192 Farts are your butt's way of reminding everyone they're a love call.
Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 15, 2026 02:42 PM (Kt19C)

That's hot!

Posted by: Pete Buttigieg at July 15, 2026 02:43 PM (2YhKe)

193 If Joe passes while PDT is in office, will Trump, as the sitting POTUS, speak? OMG
Posted by: Jmel at July 15, 2026 02:41 PM (3TlS+)
----
If that happens, PDT should absolutely snub FJB's funeral and memorial service.

"He was a terrible President--the worst--and I have better things to do."

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 15, 2026 02:43 PM (FZ29D)

194 The cry of an imprisoned turd.

Posted by: gKWVE at July 15, 2026 02:43 PM (gKWVE)

195
The heartwarming story of his love and interaction with grand daughter Navy Joan might take a whole paragraph.

If he leaves out the shower shit.

Posted by: Auspex at July 15, 2026 02:44 PM (Y8DZL)

196 anal sphincter
Is there any other?

The human body has over 60. Some are more assertive than others.

Posted by: Archimedes at July 15, 2026 02:44 PM (Riz8t)

197 Brylcream's side piece is getting uppity. Time for the bimbo eruption squad.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 15, 2026 02:44 PM (wOO3z)

198 Posted by: ... at July 15, 2026 02:37 PM (

I would understand the meaning of the second license, but I don't think I would get the first one unless someone explained it to me.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 15, 2026 02:44 PM (wuyOQ)

199
What are the betting odds he dies before the book comes out?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 15, 2026 02:42 PM (n5tGW)

____________

He'll go on and on at Carterian length.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 15, 2026 02:44 PM (pSoGj)

200 If Joe passes while PDT is in office, will Trump, as the sitting POTUS, speak? OMG
Posted by: Jmel at July 15, 2026 02:41 PM (3TlS+)

It would be like the old Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts but better, huge! I could go for days let me tell ya!

Posted by: President Donald J. Trump at July 15, 2026 02:44 PM (qC81n)

201 I will promise you, Joe, that if I'm ever in position to, I will blow mud on your grave. Just to remind you who you were.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:45 PM (2YhKe)

202 Just learned on X that there are critics who doubt Joe wrote this.

I mean ...

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:45 PM (HcfrK)

203 171 Why is the old lady upset about the "squeeze ass" license plate? Probably the most she's gotten in years
Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 15, 2026 02:38 PM

I just posted this on X and am sad I never have this kind of luck.

Posted by: Piper at July 15, 2026 02:45 PM (hftzA)

204 Best of Breed for The Big Dummy at today's Houston KC show. Worked as steward from 7:00 until 1:00. Tired and aching.

Good for the "Big Dummy" and thanks for your hard work. Can you take it easy now?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 15, 2026 02:46 PM (wuyOQ)

205 ice monkeys need to get the fire put out.[/]

While MN debates who is a fireMan you get pre-smoked fish in the BWCA but you have to sneak in.

Posted by: DaveA at July 15, 2026 02:46 PM (FhXTo)

206 "People have been asking me, what I've been doing."

1) no they haven't, nobody cares. You're the most irrelevant President in history.
2) not raising money for your library, Mr. 81 Million Votes.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at July 15, 2026 02:46 PM (3cUTc)

207
I just posted this on X and am sad I never have this kind of luck.
Posted by: Piper at July 15, 2026 02:45 PM (hftzA)

You want random ghosts squeezing your ass?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:46 PM (2YhKe)

208 Big Dummy is still on a hot streak.

Ribeye for dinner for the good boy.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at July 15, 2026 02:47 PM (6ydKt)

209 Did you know there are olfactory nerves in you rectum, and that's how you know whether you can safely follow Mao Ze Dong's wise advice?

Posted by: Eric Swalwell (D-CA) at July 15, 2026 02:47 PM (0sNs1)

210 Ruby Rippey-Gibney — the former San Francisco City Hall aide whose affair with Gov. Gavin Newsom nearly upended his political career — will tell her side of the story for the first time in an upcoming Vanity Fair piece, The California Post has learned.

Details of the piece remain unclear, but a source familiar with the matter said Rippey-Gibney intends to recount her perspective on the affair that rocked San Francisco politics in 2007 and has remained one of the most embarrassing moments in then-mayor of San Francisco Newsom’s life and career.
Posted by: beckster at July 15, 2026 02:40 PM (kX27y)
======

Mrs. F. informed me of this about an hour ago. She promises it will be very damaging.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at July 15, 2026 02:47 PM (RIvkX)

211 Did Chuck Schumer just break wind on the Senate floor?

He usually does through his mouth.

Posted by: Stu Podaso at July 15, 2026 02:47 PM (HxNRV)

212 sound of freedom.

fixt
Posted by: anachronda at July 15, 2026 02:29 PM (v3pYe)

I normally agree with that take, but, man-o-man, when they switched to F/A-18 D-models with the much louder engines a few years ago, they started rattling my windows and doors on their flyovers.

Oh, well, it's only two days per week for about an hour.

Posted by: one hour sober at July 15, 2026 02:48 PM (J4Dwc)

213 The part about him "stepping aside" is going to be hilarious.

Wonder how his ghostwriter will spin that.

Posted by: far cry at July 15, 2026 02:48 PM (X+NGn)

214 The Democat version of Lonely Island's classic "Jizzed In My Pants"

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at July 15, 2026 02:48 PM (wBaIH)

215 So, another fart thread? This is becoming tedious.

Posted by: Bulg at July 15, 2026 02:48 PM (77rzZ)

216 Butt cheeks, you insufferable twat.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:41 PM

Is *that* why mine are always SBDs?

Posted by: Brie Larson at July 15, 2026 02:49 PM (0sNs1)

217 Joey Bidet is DJ Jizz- hands?

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 15, 2026 02:49 PM (2YbhL)

218 No speech was like "Battle for the Soul of the Nation," delivered outside Independence Hall in Philadelphia on September 1, 2022.

Red lighting, two poor uniformed U.S. Marines standing at parade rest behind him, him angry and yelling about all those who refused to accept the results of the 2020 election.

Until this: Delaware Valley Journal, Biden Stumbles In Delco Campaign Speech, March 2024.

I saw some on TV and it was terrible. Good luck ever finding the original, taped speech again. And the mouthy Jill Biden on stage, never to be forgotten either.

The original cover up in press: Daily Times, March 8, 2024 ‘Your freedoms are really on the ballot’: President Joe Biden holds rally at Strath Haven Middle School [update]

And let's not forget years of autopen. He was a puppet from day one as President.

Wife #2 always an idiot. He's a really sick man.

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at July 15, 2026 02:49 PM (NFX2v)

219 I just ripped ass and it was quite satisfying. The bowl of chili with beans was also satisfying.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at July 15, 2026 02:49 PM (sYM3s)

220
Please tell me there's a chapter about them running the "biggest voter fraud operation in history."
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer

============

You know there's going to be a passage describing that increbble nigh when Amerca's proms came through. That's another chapter I'd like to read just for vomits. "Jill told me, 'Americans are better than anyone knows, you'll see!' When we went over 81 million votes, I knew she was right."

Jaysus, how much did that ghostwriter get paid? I could do the whole book just based on publicly available information.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 02:49 PM (mmrXZ)

221 So, another fart thread? This is becoming tedious.
Posted by: Bulg at July 15, 2026 02:48 PM (77rzZ)

Correction attempt:

https://shorturl.fm/7lFhC

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:49 PM (2YhKe)

222 anal sphincter
Is there any other?
Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 15, 2026 02:43 P

Pyloric, as just one example. Muldoon can probably name a few more off the top of his head.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 15, 2026 02:50 PM (bFu5X)

223 Ch21: Pissing off German Shepards

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 15, 2026 02:50 PM (wOO3z)

224 Posted by: Orson at July 15, 2026 02:31 PM (dIske)

I think I'd want to have pikes on heads. Those poor residents. The authorities have no concern for their citizens . The problem is the residents have no guns.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 15, 2026 02:50 PM (D+BhG)

225 Worked as steward from 7:00 until 1:00. Tired and aching.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 15, 2026 02:39 PM

Do stewards get tipped?

Posted by: AOC at July 15, 2026 02:50 PM (0sNs1)

226 So, another fart thread? This is becoming tedious.

Posted by: Bulg at July 15, 2026 02:48 PM (77rzZ)

---
Bet that was hard to hold in.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:50 PM (HcfrK)

227 The human body has over 60. Some are more ass..."

Posted by: man at July 15, 2026 02:50 PM (XuXeR)

228 Big Dummy is still on a hot streak.

Ribeye for dinner for the good boy.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at July 15, 2026 02:47 PM (6ydKt)

Woohoo!!!
Go Big Dummy!!!
(And I'm not talking about Biden)

Posted by: Diogenes at July 15, 2026 02:51 PM (2WIwB)

229 Do stewards get tipped?"

Just the cows

Posted by: man at July 15, 2026 02:51 PM (XuXeR)

230 Pyloric, as just one example. Muldoon can probably name a few more off the top of his head.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState

I can expound at length on the pyloric valve, and the malfunctions thereof.
-- Ignatius Reilly

Posted by: Bulg at July 15, 2026 02:52 PM (77rzZ)

231 Joe Biden has lied every minute of his political career. A reflexive liar who will lie even when the truth gives no offense. A sociopath who is not capable of perceiving the difference between the truth and a lie.

Fvck him. Seriously.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at July 15, 2026 02:52 PM (RIvkX)

232 Anal Sphincter opened for the Butthole Surfers?

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 15, 2026 02:52 PM (2YbhL)

233 I just ripped ass and it was quite satisfying. The bowl of chili with beans was also satisfying.
Posted by: Rev. Wishbone

A "Thank You" from your colon.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 15, 2026 02:52 PM (wOO3z)

234 You want random ghosts squeezing your ass?

Only if the ghosts are Scottish.

Posted by: Beverly Crusher at July 15, 2026 02:52 PM (2ocoG)

235
I would understand the meaning of the second license, but I don't think I would get the first one unless someone explained it to me.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

=============

I had to look at it for a few seconds. I think "Pee before I go."

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 02:52 PM (mmrXZ)

236 I'm drinking an 'energy drink' (vodka). Then I'll make burgers from locally grown meat. Then stack the rest of the wood I cut...then make focaccia bread. Full day.

Posted by: Who dat say 'who dat' when I say 'who dat'? at July 15, 2026 02:53 PM (pup6t)

237 So, another fart thread? This is becoming tedious.
Posted by: Bulg at July 15, 2026 02:48 PM

You prefer a thread discussing the boobs, flat u lent?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at July 15, 2026 02:53 PM (0sNs1)

238 I’ve said it for years now, Biden’s cogent. But I undersold him when I said he was cogent. This book is far beyond cogent. This version of Biden, intellectually, analytically, is the best Biden ever. Eff you if you can't handle the truth. If it weren't the truth, I wouldn't say it.

Posted by: Joe Scarborough at July 15, 2026 02:53 PM (HOltd)

239 PREFACE:

Thank you for coming! I'm told that these are my memories.

Joseph R. Biden (via robo-pen)

Posted by: t-bird at July 15, 2026 02:53 PM (DGgho)

240 You know he's probably going to bring up Trump and Charlottesville and tell everyone for the hundredth time that that's why he ran for office.

Posted by: redridinghood at July 15, 2026 02:53 PM (NpAcC)

241 You know he's probably going to bring up Trump and Charlottesville and tell everyone for the hundredth time that that's why he ran for office.

That'll tee up Trump to say "You ran for office because of the SPLC?"

Posted by: Ian S. at July 15, 2026 02:54 PM (2ocoG)

242

Spencer Pratt
@spencerpratt
·
6h
This guy couldn't even sign his own name. He's not writing books. LMAO

Politicians write books to launder money. Nobody wants to read this, but the corrupt NGOs he provided for as President will buy up 100K copies and burn 'em to hold up their end of the bribes.
Quote

Posted by: beckster at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM (kX27y)

243 Portland announces they don't have enough police to handle emergencies

Yeah.
Right.
Throw a rock thru the window of a city official and see what happens.
But do that to a store...pppfffttt.

Posted by: Diogenes at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM (2WIwB)

244 BTW, the Dems really like the Promise.

Obama had the book, A Promised Land.

Biden in 2017, Promise me Dad. Now, Promise me America.

Jill's, View from the East Wing: A Memoir (June 2, 2026) must really suck. 🤔

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM (NFX2v)

245 Schumer: "Did someone hear a spider bark?"

Posted by: mnw at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM (RCjYY)

246 Better title for Biden memoir:

Veni, Vidi, Ubi Sum?

Posted by: SpeakingOf at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM (6ydKt)

247 So, another fart thread?
In many ways isn't this also the story of Barack Obama?

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM (Kt19C)

248 He's gotten zero dollars for his presidential library but he's going to be #1 on the best sellers list.

Uh huh......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM (2YhKe)

249 212 I normally agree with that take, but, man-o-man, when they switched to F/A-18 D-models with the much louder engines a few years ago, they started rattling my windows and doors on their flyovers.

Oh, well, it's only two days per week for about an hour.

the e/f pilots here seem to take pride in setting off car alarms in the parking lot.

Posted by: anachronda at July 15, 2026 02:56 PM (v3pYe)

250
Put him on TV as much as possible.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

=============

Put him on while Trump is delivering his address to the nation tomorrow night. Keep him on for the duration of Trump's speech. Sick burn!

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 02:56 PM (mmrXZ)

251 LFG England
Avenge 1986

Posted by: Bring it Home at July 15, 2026 02:56 PM (TSBN+)

252 Most of the Dems in the Senate are sphincters

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 15, 2026 02:56 PM (m2wmY)

253 I prefer "breaking wind". Sounds nautical.

Posted by: Who dat say 'who dat' when I say 'who dat'? at July 15, 2026 02:56 PM (pup6t)

254
Politicians write books to launder money. Nobody wants to read this, but the corrupt NGOs he provided for as President will buy up 100K copies and burn 'em to hold up their end of the bribes.
Quote

Posted by: beckster at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM

This is exactly the scam and it applies to the lightbringer Obama's stupid dog eating book that no one read also.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 15, 2026 02:56 PM (uxifx)

255 Portland announces they don't have enough police to handle emergencies

Yeah.
Right.
Throw a rock thru the window of a city official and see what happens.
But do that to a store...pppfffttt.
Posted by: Diogenes at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM (2WIwB)

=====

Didn't they replace their cops with mental health therapists?

Posted by: Jordan61 at July 15, 2026 02:57 PM (DRSnL)

256 What second mark is Chuck you's gaseous expression?

Posted by: Ted Torgerson at July 15, 2026 02:57 PM (wGerL)

257 Biden is the puppet of the purple lipped dog eater

Posted by: torabora at July 15, 2026 02:57 PM (WVHmp)

258
This is exactly the scam and it applies to the lightbringer Obama's stupid dog eating book that no one read also.
Posted by: CaliGirl at July 15, 2026 02:56 PM (uxifx)

He wrote two books before the age of 45, as if he had experiences that anyone gave a shit about by then.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:57 PM (2YhKe)

259 Schumer should have gone with "who sat on the duck". Just not quick enough

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 15, 2026 02:58 PM (m2wmY)

260 The Super Bug pilots are embarrassed they never got to fly the Tomcat

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 15, 2026 02:58 PM (2YbhL)

261 Didn't they replace their cops with mental health therapists?

Posted by: Jordan61 at July 15, 2026 02:57 PM (DRSnL)

This nick seems familiar. I just can't place it.......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:58 PM (2YhKe)

262 238. I wouldn't say it.
Posted by: Joe Scarborough

...if I didn't need the alimony and child support money. Hand in the air!

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at July 15, 2026 02:58 PM (NFX2v)

263 He's gotten zero dollars for his presidential library but he's going to be #1 on the best sellers list.

What would the Biden library be shaped like? Obama's is clearly a monument to Big Mike's dick, so would the Biden library be DOCTOR JILL's boobs?

Posted by: Ian S. at July 15, 2026 02:58 PM (2ocoG)

264
Politicians write books to launder money. Nobody wants to read this, but the corrupt NGOs he provided for as President will buy up 100K copies and burn 'em to hold up their end of the bribes.
Quote

Posted by: beckster

===============

What's in it for the NGOs anymore? Just stiff the bastard.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 02:59 PM (mmrXZ)

265 Is he going to talk about the times he use to swim nude in his pool and the secret servant agents had to use eye bleach?

Posted by: redridinghood at July 15, 2026 02:59 PM (NpAcC)

266 I prefer "breaking wind". Sounds nautical.

Posted by: Who dat say 'who dat' when I say 'who dat'? at July 15, 2026 02:56 PM (pup6t)
---
Wear your windbreaker.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 02:59 PM (HcfrK)

267 Will he mention that time when he fingerbanged an intern against her will?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:59 PM (2YhKe)

268 He's gotten zero dollars for his presidential library but he's going to be #1 on the best sellers list.

Uh huh......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM

I may be mistaken but I thought I read someplace possibly here that biden was not going to have a presidential library.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at July 15, 2026 03:00 PM (0N4FZ)

269 Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at July 15, 2026 02:55 PM (NFX2v)

They love their religious language and their Patriotic language. It's about 90% of their titles. The other 10% is usually pure ego.

For example I'm pretty sure Moochelle did a book called

ME

Posted by: ... at July 15, 2026 03:00 PM (jqCWg)

270 The Joey Bidet Presidential Book Mobile.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 15, 2026 03:01 PM (2YbhL)

271
He wrote two books before the age of 45, as if he had experiences that anyone gave a shit about by then.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 02:57 PM

I will admit that in Obama's case people purchased his book for the purpose of impressing their friends. No one read the book or else it wouldn't have been a surprise that he ate dog.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 15, 2026 03:01 PM (uxifx)

272 I could have dodged that other car but I was too busy flipping off the one thar missed me.

Posted by: Zombie Jerry Rubin at July 15, 2026 03:01 PM (WVHmp)

273 I may be mistaken but I thought I read someplace possibly here that biden was not going to have a presidential library.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at July 15, 2026 03:00 PM (0N4FZ)

Well, he's raised zero dollars for one, so unless he's paying for it himself, he won't be getting one.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 03:01 PM (2YhKe)

274 I'm enjoying the permanent DST vs permanent Standard time debate. Both sides have a point.

We've discovered that having light outside when you wake up is important. It causes your body to stop producing melatonin and it changes your cortisol levels. It reduces the issues people have with SAD and other mood regulation issues.

On the other hand, it's nice to have light at the end of your day. Outdoor chores, exercise, etc. are all nice to do outside in the afternoon.

I'm predicting that many of the people screaming that changing the clocks twice a year is STOOOPID are going to be shouted down after we implement this system.

I honestly don't get the hate for changing the time. I set my alarm on my phone, and my phone auto-adjusts. I never miss the time change and my body figures it out just fine. I'd rather adjust my clock to maximize sunlight during my day.

Posted by: bonhomme at July 15, 2026 03:01 PM (mkw2N)

275 Without all his grifting I guess a book was due to show up one of these days.

Posted by: sidney at July 15, 2026 03:01 PM (Uy/WF)

276 Ghostwriting for famous people is a huge cottage industry in the writing sphere. I'm sure it makes good money, but I don't think I could do it.

I still can't believe there was a massive bidding war for Emily Rentajetski's (however you pronounce her name) for her upcoming memoir, based on an essay she did, about being a single mommy and whoring around with her huge mommy milkers.

*looks around as the modern celebrity culture landscape*

Oh crap, yes I can.

There was a good article at the NY Post by Miska Saleman, another single mom, who says how sad it is she is defining her importance not by her new child but by if men still find her screwable. And how creepy her photoshoot was of her breastfeeding her kid. The morons would appreciate the size of her boobs. But she looked very dead behind the eyes.

Posted by: LizLem at July 15, 2026 03:02 PM (gWBY1)

277
I may be mistaken but I thought I read someplace possibly here that biden was not going to have a presidential library.
Posted by: Mister Scott

===============

I think there's speculation that it will be a wing or an area of University of Delaware library. Some other institution will host it.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 03:02 PM (mmrXZ)

278 We've discovered that having light outside when you wake up is important. It causes your body to stop producing melatonin and it changes your cortisol levels. It reduces the issues people have with SAD and other mood regulation issues.

Posted by: bonhomme at July 15, 2026 03:01 PM (mkw2N)

=====

I just got a happy light for my birthday, since in the winter the sun doesn't come up until I get to work.

Posted by: Jordan61 at July 15, 2026 03:02 PM (DRSnL)

279 Please remember, one square only!

Posted by: Sheryl Crow at July 15, 2026 03:02 PM (0sNs1)

280
As ghastly as that corruption is, at least we can take solace in Biden feeling disrespected by the fact he only got $10 million -- the clean, articulate black man (whoah, that's storybook, man!) who proceeded him got $60 million. (Plus a hundred million from propaganda op Netflix, just for existing.)

I can't wait until Bai-Den is caught on a hot mic, bitching about how "that (insert your favorite racial epithet here)" got so much more money than he did.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 15, 2026 03:03 PM (y9nCu)

281 I've heard from several people that they got some of those contaminated greens and then what they thought was a fart ended up being a shart with explosive diarrhea running down their leg.

It's not a pleasant situation to have to throw your underwear in the trash and jump in the shower.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at July 15, 2026 03:03 PM (sYM3s)

282 Sharp as a dollar

Sound as a tack

Fit as an egg sucking sheep stealing, one-eyed son of a stuffed monkey

Posted by: JM in Illinois at July 15, 2026 03:03 PM (zv3kA)

283 How about when the SS, his family, press - nobody gave a shit that his retarded ass fell asleep in the sun and got burned.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 15, 2026 03:04 PM (wOO3z)

284 looked very dead behind the eyes.
Posted by: LizLem at July 15, 2026 03:02 PM

That's just sad.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 15, 2026 03:04 PM (uxifx)

285 The fact that this mental asshole was installed as President of the USA will be a stain on our nation for a long time. Nevermind that he's a mental defective, he's been a corrupt, ignorant, jerk his entire political life.

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at July 15, 2026 03:04 PM (jajLk)

286 Didn't they replace their cops with mental health therapists?
Posted by: Jordan61

That was us.

Posted by: Gay and Fabulous West Hollywood, California at July 15, 2026 03:04 PM (TSBN+)

287 I remember when the meme was that the Biden's were gonna end up impoverished because they didn't play along. Well I guess they played along because between him and her it's a reported 30 million book advance on books that will gross about $20,000 combined.

Posted by: ... at July 15, 2026 03:05 PM (jqCWg)

288 I may be mistaken but I thought I read someplace possibly here that biden was not going to have a presidential library.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at July 15, 2026 03:00 PM (0N4FZ)
__

He's going to have a Presidential Bookmobile/Ice Cream Truck that aimlessly roams the streets of Wilmington. It will be operated by topless trannies who totally aren't grooming your kids.

Posted by: Dispatch from Limbo at July 15, 2026 03:05 PM (qUkBO)

289
The Joe Biden Presidential Lending Library Bookcart.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 03:05 PM (HcfrK)

290 I may be mistaken but I thought I read someplace possibly here that biden was not going to have a presidential library.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at July 15, 2026 03:00 PM (0N4FZ)

I recall some brief talk about a Biden library early last year, then radio silence ever since.

Apparently donors became quite scarce because Let’s Go Brandon, that’s why.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at July 15, 2026 03:05 PM (6ydKt)

291 biden was not going to have a presidential library.
Coloring books?

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 15, 2026 03:06 PM (Kt19C)

292 Schumer's long-winded speech will go down in the annals of Congress.

Posted by: fly gal at July 15, 2026 03:06 PM (EcZ7+)

293 He will have a skin flavored ice cream cone at the local glory hole.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 03:06 PM (2YhKe)

294 Remember when the Easter Bunny led Biden away?

It and almost every other time he was an idiot before the press has been covered over.

For instance, the "Easter Bunny leading Biden away" refers to a viral incident during the April 2022 White House Easter Egg Roll. While former President Joe Biden was answering reporters' questions about Afghanistan, an aide in an Easter Bunny costume stepped in and ushered him away to prevent him from taking further questions.

The Easter Bunny was revealed to be Meghan Hay, who served as the White House Director of Message Planning, running interference for the President's public messaging.

He 'assumed' office January 20, 2021.

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at July 15, 2026 03:06 PM (NFX2v)

295 A Biden presidential memory care center would be more fitting. And we need more of those.

The day care center/elderly Medicare scams enrage me, because the average middle class people taking care of their elderly loved ones are struggling. It's so expensive. Then you have fake centers getting millions and pocketing it.

I kind of loved that Nick Shirley found a legit elderly Korean day care center in NYC, and the owner gave him a list right away of all the scam centers to check out. The scam ones are pocketing all their clients and making them lose money, while skimping on services the seniors actually need. They are gong to make the legit centers go bankrupt.

Posted by: LizLem at July 15, 2026 03:07 PM (gWBY1)

296
Oh no wait, it was Becoming Michelle Obama.

You can taste the humility.

Posted by: ... at July 15, 2026 03:07 PM (jqCWg)

297 Jerry Nadler has not been allowed at the Capitol since the exploding diarrhea threat started.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 03:08 PM (HcfrK)

298
You can taste the humility.

Posted by: ... at July 15, 2026 03:07 PM (jqCWg)

Tastes like shit.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 03:09 PM (2YhKe)

299 Schumer's long-winded speech will go down in the annals of Congress.

Posted by: fly gal at July 15, 2026 03:06 PM (EcZ7+)

OK, I KNOW you mean't "anals". Damn auto cucumber. Amirite?

Posted by: Who dat say 'who dat' when I say 'who dat'? at July 15, 2026 03:09 PM (pup6t)

300 The Easter Bunny was revealed to be Meghan Hay, who served as the White House Director of Message Planning ....

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at July 15, 2026 03:06 PM (NFX2v)
---
And President Wrangling...

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 03:09 PM (HcfrK)

301 Oh no wait, it was Becoming Michelle Obama.

You can taste the humility.

Posted by: ... at July 15, 2026 03:07 PM

About as exciting as Being John Malkovich.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 15, 2026 03:09 PM (bFu5X)

302 The Joe Biden Presidential Library for Kids Who Can't Read Good.

Posted by: redridinghood at July 15, 2026 03:10 PM (NpAcC)

303 It's sad watching The Husk decay before our very eyes like a poorly embalmed mummy. I'll bet he can barely muster the energy to shower with his daughter anymore.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at July 15, 2026 03:10 PM (KKQKG)

304
You know he's probably going to bring up Trump and Charlottesville and tell everyone for the hundredth time that that's why he ran for office.
Posted by: redridinghood

===============

omg that's right. Let's see if Jake Tapper steps up and rights that wrong.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 03:11 PM (mmrXZ)

305 About as exciting as Being John Malkovich.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 15, 2026 03:09 PM (bFu5X)

A friend was at a restaurant in Minnesota sitting at the bar when John Malkovich came up and sat down.

I told him to ask what it was like being him.

He declined.....I was disappointed.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 03:11 PM (2YhKe)

306 CHAPTER 3: The Nice Young People

So I says, I says, "But after we steal the election, how're we gonna do this thing? VP-ing is easy, but I don't know how to President!"

And rthen some nice young people, many with funny-colored hair like purple and blue, and some sportin' nose-rings like they was cannibals, says to me, "Don't worry, Unca Joe, we got this. You just sit there, and we'll do the presidentin' for you."

And that made me feel better, that everything was taken care of. Because, jim cracky, there's too much t keep track of if you're actually the guy in charge."

Posted by: zombie at July 15, 2026 03:11 PM (Av6i5)

307
the White House Director of Message Planning ....

Posted by: L - No nic

============

Good lord, what are these jobs?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 03:13 PM (mmrXZ)

308 How old is Schumer? And he trusted a fart? Dumbass.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 15, 2026 03:13 PM (u73oe)

309 Theme song for this thread:
"It's OK if you Poop / Pee Your Pants Sometimes. Don't Feel Bad." by the band Papa Razzi and The Photogs.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WSdNCQwAiTE&ra=m

*Al Roker nods
To be fair, Roker was doing keto I think. And you do NOT learn to trust a fart during keto.

Posted by: LizLem at July 15, 2026 03:13 PM (gWBY1)

310 NOOD - Trump and ICE traffic stops

Posted by: the lower depths at July 15, 2026 03:13 PM (Yh7zv)

311 Schumer's long-winded speech will go down in the annals of Congress.

Posted by: fly gal

I always wondered how that word "annals" was pronounced as a kid.

Posted by: Bulg at July 15, 2026 03:15 PM (77rzZ)

312 What are the betting odds he dies before the book comes out?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk
......

Slowest progression of stage 4 prostate cancer which spread to his bones EVAH.

Posted by: wth at July 15, 2026 03:16 PM (UjdFS)

313 The Bee! : Bear On California State Flag Moves To Texas.

Posted by: Axeman at July 15, 2026 03:16 PM (HcfrK)

314
biden was not going to have a presidential library.
Coloring books?
Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 15, 2026 03:06 PM (Kt19C)

Unrelated, but that got me remembering a particularly savage Mad Magazine bit about Jonas Salk going to a publisher with a serious book on the Polio vaccine, but they wanted to capitalize on his well-deserved fame by taking his academic manuscript and rewriting it for mass consumption. They ended up with a Jonas Salk Polio Vaccine Coloring Book. Which didn't sell worth a damn.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 15, 2026 03:17 PM (y9nCu)

315 if Lonely Island wasn't a bunch of leftwing SNL hacks, they could do a great Biden biographical video called 'I just pooped my pants'.

Posted by: Nelly at July 15, 2026 03:17 PM (6+ehB)

316 Stallone has a new Rocky movie coming out.
Well, actually, Stallone has a movie coming out about Stallone struggling to get the first Rocky movie made.

And they de-aged Stallone with AI to get it done, apparently, because it looks pretty weird:

I Play Rocky - trailer
https://youtu.be/9XSJIJ-TVcI

Posted by: SpeakingOf at July 15, 2026 03:17 PM (6ydKt)

317 I may be mistaken but I thought I read someplace possibly here that biden was not going to have a presidential library.
Posted by: Mister Scott

===============

I think there's speculation that it will be a wing or an area of University of Delaware library. Some other institution will host it.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 15, 2026 03:02 PM (mmrXZ)

yeah there's already someone collecting his papers even the crayon ones. A university or a historic building? They really can't fit some crap thing like Obama built in Delaware.

Posted by: Oldcat at July 15, 2026 03:19 PM (uhVAy)

318 Nadler was morbidly obese and that gastric surgery where they put a band around the stomach. It seems to have destroyed his digestive system. He lost all control. I’ve also heard the rumors he smells like a bus.

Posted by: Blutarski, gradually then suddenly at July 15, 2026 03:21 PM (l26NL)

319 Schumer's long-winded speech will go down in the annals of Congress.

Posted by: fly gal

I always wondered how that word "annals" was pronounced as a kid.
Posted by: Bulg at July 15, 2026 03:15 PM (77rzZ)

Ann Alls. Think of annual, it is a document consisting of yearly entries that monks and such used to fill out which consist of a lot of our information about the middle ages.

They are a riot, for one year they might write about a 2 headed chicken for a page, then in 2 lines talk about a king dying or a battle lost.

Posted by: Oldcat at July 15, 2026 03:22 PM (uhVAy)

320 Chapters 1, 2, 4, 5, 6 My namesake, my son Beau.

Chapters 7, “Bidenisms”
Dad said: "Don't tell me what you value, show me your budget. I'll tell you what you value."

His mom: "No one is better than you, but you are better than nobody."

Grandpa said: "Joey, remember, the measure of a man is not how often he is knocked down, but how fast he gets up."

Other grandpa said: "Remember, Joey. The best drop of blood in you is Irish blood."

This from Joe, a man who once ended a speech on gun violence with “God save the queen, man.” June 16, 2023

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at July 15, 2026 03:26 PM (NFX2v)

321 Posted by: Oldcat at July 15, 2026 03:22 PM (uhVAy)

I know what it means, but when I was little it looked suspiciously close to "anal" for my taste, and wasn't sure if it was supposed to be pronounced in the same way.

Posted by: Bulg at July 15, 2026 03:26 PM (77rzZ)

322 Posted by: Oldcat at July 15, 2026 03:22 PM (uhVAy)

I know what it means, but when I was little it looked suspiciously close to "anal" for my taste, and wasn't sure if it was supposed to be pronounced in the same way.
Posted by: Bulg at July 15, 2026 03:26 PM (77rzZ)

its related to 'year' not 'butt stuff'

Posted by: Oldcat at July 15, 2026 03:27 PM (uhVAy)

323
A friend was at a restaurant in Minnesota sitting at the bar when John Malkovich came up and sat down.

I told him to ask what it was like being him.

He declined.....I was disappointed.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at July 15, 2026 03:11 PM (2YhKe)

My aunt once sold him a bunch of antique thread spools at the Rose Bowl Flea Market back in the 90s. She said that he was quiet and friendly. It helps that she was savvy enough not to gush over him, she just quietly told him that she loved his work when they were settling up. She mentioned that he really appreciated that she didn't make a scene.

Which was ruined when he went to the next seller, who exclaimed OH MY GOD, JOHN MALKOVICH! and practically dropped to his knees and opened wide.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 15, 2026 03:29 PM (y9nCu)

324 I can't believe they didn't just produce and AI Biden message.

It would have been more lifelike than this one.

Posted by: Scheckie Green at July 15, 2026 03:44 PM (anL5R)

Processing 0.06, elapsed 0.0614 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.017 seconds, 333 records returned.
Page size 157 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.