First World Problems...

Obviously, Odysseus' First World Problem was that he couldn't read a map to save his life!

Yeah...not really a genuine FWP, but it makes me laugh, so...

And...Open Thread, but keep it light!

Posted by: CBD at 02:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Not first!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at July 26, 2026 02:01 PM (NnhvP)

2 okay I lied.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at July 26, 2026 02:01 PM (NnhvP)

3 Probably a toll road too.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at July 26, 2026 02:02 PM (jehhT)

4 Nooded.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at July 26, 2026 02:02 PM (NnhvP)

5 My first world problem is all the smoke from the Oregon fires. Air quality index is around 200 now, which is no bueno.

Reminds me of the huge Fort Collins area fires a few years ago.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, call BR549 at July 26, 2026 02:03 PM (0aYVJ)

6 Mapping tools work great so long as you input the correct address.

My brother-in-law once mistyped an address and we ended up at a community baseball field in south St. Louis instead of at Busch Stadium, our intended destination.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 26, 2026 02:04 PM (FZ29D)

7 Ithaca to Troy NY. Had to magnify the map to read it.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at July 26, 2026 02:05 PM (3UbC6)

8 Obviously, Odysseus' First World Problem was that he couldn't read a map to save his life!

His real mistake was trying to make the trip in a Ford F-150 Lightning.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 26, 2026 02:05 PM (guGkK)

9 If James Joyce book Ulysses was a retelling of the Odyssey set in Dublin, I can only imagine the name and occupation of our New York Odysseus. Did he travel by Greyhound bus?

Posted by: Pete Bog at July 26, 2026 02:06 PM (BGSp9)

10 You can't get there from here.

Posted by: davidt at July 26, 2026 02:06 PM (Q+gd/)

11 My brother-in-law once mistyped an address and we ended up at a community baseball field in south St. Louis instead of at Busch Stadium, our intended destination.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 26, 2026 02:04 PM (FZ29D)
-

A Geek Tragedy.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at July 26, 2026 02:06 PM (3UbC6)

12 NYS’s southern tier is beautiful and deserted.

Posted by: Accomack at July 26, 2026 02:08 PM (8jVAy)

13 A Geek Tragedy.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at July 26, 2026 02:06 PM (3UbC6)
-----
It had a happy ending. We still managed to find the correct route and arrived in time for the Cubs to demolish the Cardinals, much to my BIL's delight.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 26, 2026 02:08 PM (FZ29D)

14 An open thread? Is my shirt unraveling again?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at July 26, 2026 02:08 PM (odIVf)

15 Hey thx CBD, my home city Kingston made the big time. Lower right of the map. Being shown on Ace of Spades is the biggest news since the Brits burned the place in 1777

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 26, 2026 02:09 PM (xh8GK)

16 Even though my trucks always carried car wax they didn't ever get any, I use it for screw and bolts lube.
But I like this car and decided to wash and wax it.
My hoses in front house need to be fixed as couldn't get them apart and couldn't get a hose nozzle on it.
Had to resort used my thumb over the end.
Will get parts tomorrow

Posted by: Skip at July 26, 2026 02:10 PM (Ia/+0)

17 I paid for, and downloaded a map update pack for my wife's Explorer. The instructions indicate it'll take an hour. The car has to remain running the whole time. And most of the functionality of the infotainment system will be unavailable for that time.

I'd like to drive it instead of having it sit in the driveway, running for an hour, but I wonder if somehow it'll freak out at some point and strand me somewhere I'd rather it not.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at July 26, 2026 02:10 PM (jehhT)

18 Howdy from toasty East Texas!!!

Posted by: Billythesquid at July 26, 2026 02:10 PM (gN+5I)

19 @nicksortor 58m 🚨 BREAKING: Police have KlLLED the man who drove his vehicle into a Berlin parade last night, per ZEIT

Abdul B. has been on the run since last night
Who could’ve POSSIBLY guessed it would’ve been a Muslim guy??! 🙄
Germans: TAKE YOUR COUNTRY BACK

Posted by: illiniwek at July 26, 2026 02:11 PM (vbXSk)

20 @nicksortor 58m 🚨 BREAKING: Police have KlLLED the man who drove his vehicle into a Berlin parade last night, per ZEIT

Abdul B. has been on the run since last night
Who could’ve POSSIBLY guessed it would’ve been a Muslim guy??! 🙄
Germans: TAKE YOUR COUNTRY BACK
Posted by: illiniwek

Now we'll never know the reason for the attack.

Posted by: Tuna at July 26, 2026 02:13 PM (lJ0H4)

21 Over the last couple of days passage from Fauci's diary and his emails have been released. He's an even bigger monster than previously known.

He was consumed with his own publicity during the China virus and was constantly pushing his colleagues and grant recipients to push for him to win awards and cash prizes. He made millions off his "fame" as The Science.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 26, 2026 02:13 PM (viF8m)

22 I never wash my truck. Just hose it off at the local U-Wash-It now and then. The Ford clearcoat paint for that model year has held up very well.

Posted by: Don Black at July 26, 2026 02:13 PM (ZxPkt)

23 NYS’s southern tier is beautiful and deserted."

Indeed. Did the Cooperstown thing once. Really lovely country

Posted by: man at July 26, 2026 02:14 PM (XuXeR)

24 It's a short distance on that map by road, by Odysseus insisted on traveling by ship. You know how hard it is to row or sail a ship on a New York highway?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at July 26, 2026 02:15 PM (qx7Zg)

25 >>@nicksortor 58m 🚨 BREAKING: Police have KlLLED the man who drove his vehicle into a Berlin parade last night, per ZEIT

>>Abdul B. has been on the run since last night
Who could’ve POSSIBLY guessed it would’ve been a Muslim guy??! 🙄

But wait, it gets worse. He had already been arrested by German police for radicalism and released with a sentence that included taking de-radicalism courses.

They knew he was going jihad and turned him loose on their own people.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 26, 2026 02:15 PM (viF8m)

26 Is it uncouth to say that Ulysses was the most incoherent unfocused piece of crap I ever tried to read?

Posted by: Tom Servo at July 26, 2026 02:16 PM (ClnUm)

27 Could easily detour thru Syracuse and Utica then south to
Troy if you have the time. Might stretch it out to 15 years.

Posted by: From about That Time at July 26, 2026 02:16 PM (sl73Y)

28 I keep one of those DeLorme maps of my state in the car. Can't beat it for detail. Has backroads that are just creek beds.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at July 26, 2026 02:16 PM (XvL8K)

29 > Over the last couple of days passage from Fauci's diary and his emails have been released. He's an even bigger monster than previously known.
----------
I've worked with people like him. PhD's. Absolutely full of themselves. Absolutely sure they're right, and everyone should acknowledge that. And praise them.

They hated me for the disrespect they deserved.

I hated them back.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at July 26, 2026 02:16 PM (jehhT)

30 Greece, Rome , Troy , Ithaca, Syracuse , Phoenicia, Ilion , Athens, Carthage, Utica , Cairo , Greece. All cities in upstate NY named for ancient cities
Austerlitz and Waterloo are also here if you are a Bonaparte aficionado

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 26, 2026 02:16 PM (xh8GK)

31 It's a short distance on that map by road, by Odysseus insisted on traveling by ship. You know how hard it is to row or sail a ship on a New York highway?
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at July 26, 2026 02:15 PM (qx7Zg)
----
No wonder it took him 20 years...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 26, 2026 02:17 PM (FZ29D)

32 Keeping it light

there's a federal installation in my town (FEMA) and one of the features is a map warehouse. Everything the gummint has published, map-wise, is available in the storefront.

for example: USGS grid squares, incredibly detailed.

Posted by: Don Black at July 26, 2026 02:18 PM (ZxPkt)

33 It's a short distance on that map by road, by Odysseus insisted on traveling by ship. You know how hard it is to row or sail a ship on a New York highway?
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at July 26, 2026 02:15 PM (qx7Zg)

I was here the whole time!

Posted by: The Erie Canal at July 26, 2026 02:18 PM (odIVf)

34 >>>>>>31 It's a short distance on that map by road, by Odysseus insisted on traveling by ship. You know how hard it is to row or sail a ship on a New York highway?
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at July 26, 2026 02:15 PM (qx7Zg)
----
No wonder it took him 20 years...
*******
Couldn't he take the Eire canal?

Posted by: Cosda at July 26, 2026 02:20 PM (E5YMT)

35 When you have all those Sirens slowing you down and pulling you over on the interstate, it takes a bit longer.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 26, 2026 02:21 PM (n5tGW)

36 Austerlitz is pretty country, hills and bowls.

Posted by: From about That Time at July 26, 2026 02:21 PM (sl73Y)

37 A couple months ago I drove from Troy to Watkins Glen and back. Pretty drive. Lots of potholes.

Good thing NY has low taxes.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 26, 2026 02:22 PM (viF8m)

38 Ph.Ds are the worst

Posted by: Racially Ambiguous Honky at July 26, 2026 02:22 PM (zdQuL)

39
Danger zone
https://tinyurl.com/vbk27ats

Posted by: Don Black at July 26, 2026 02:22 PM (ZxPkt)

40 Piled Higher and Deeper.

Posted by: Ph.D at July 26, 2026 02:23 PM (2Ez/1)

41 Post Hole Digger

Posted by: Racially Ambiguous Honky at July 26, 2026 02:25 PM (zdQuL)

42 Is it uncouth to say that Ulysses was the most incoherent unfocused piece of crap I ever tried to read?
Posted by: Tom Servo at July 26, 2026 02:16 PM

-----------------

Hold my beer.

Posted by: Finnegans Wake at July 26, 2026 02:25 PM (1Au9i)

43 It's only 15 miles on the Erie Canal.

Posted by: mule named Sal at July 26, 2026 02:26 PM (ZnrCl)

44 26

I made a SERIOUS attempt to read Ulysses TWICE. 20 years between the first time and the second time.

I failed both times.

I suspect a lot of people who claim to have read it are lying.

Posted by: mnw at July 26, 2026 02:26 PM (RCjYY)

45 I also took one of those Delorme maps and laid the pages out to make a full map of the state. It was like 12 by 5 feet. Took me a good bit of time and then the wife made me get rid of it.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at July 26, 2026 02:27 PM (XvL8K)

46 3 hours and 1 minute?

That's practically next-door in Texas.

Hopefully there's a Buc-ee's on the way.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at July 26, 2026 02:27 PM (0sNs1)

47 I made a SERIOUS attempt to read Ulysses TWICE. 20 years between the first time and the second time.

I failed both times.

I suspect a lot of people who claim to have read it are lying.
Posted by: mnw at July 26, 2026 02:26 PM (RCjYY)
----
Hard to beat its doorstopper potential, though.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 26, 2026 02:28 PM (FZ29D)

48 Low bridge.

Posted by: Everybody down at July 26, 2026 02:28 PM (2Ez/1)

49 During the correspondents dinner the other night Trump compared Kaitlin Collins to Dylan Mulvaney.

Today.

https://tinyurl.com/3hc4s6ap

Posted by: JackStraw at July 26, 2026 02:29 PM (viF8m)

50 What is Mamdami’s NYC doing to celebrate 9/11’s 25th anniversary?

Posted by: Piss Be Upon Him at July 26, 2026 02:29 PM (Xe8e7)

51 Rand McNally

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at July 26, 2026 02:31 PM (cN9kY)

52
Probably a toll road too.
Posted by: Martini Farmer

Somebody's gotta go back and get a shit-load of dimes!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 26, 2026 02:31 PM (Cqx++)

53 Howdy from toasty East Texas!!!
Posted by: Billythesquid at July 26, 2026 02:10 PM

Howdy back from down in the West Texas town of

Posted by: El Paso at July 26, 2026 02:32 PM (0sNs1)

54 >What is Mamdami’s NYC doing to celebrate 9/11’s 25th anniversary?

Posted by: Piss Be Upon Him
----

He will point out that the real victims were muslims, suffering The Backlash

Posted by: Don Black at July 26, 2026 02:32 PM (ZxPkt)

55 What is Mamdami’s NYC doing to celebrate 9/11’s 25th anniversary?
Posted by: Piss Be Upon Him
---

I imagine NYC citizens will be engaged in acts of atonement, self-flagellation, etc.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 26, 2026 02:33 PM (XeU6L)

56 What is Mamdami’s NYC doing to celebrate 9/11’s 25th anniversary?
Posted by: Piss Be Upon Him at July 26, 2026 02:29 PM (Xe8e7)

Probably celebrating, not commemorating.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at July 26, 2026 02:33 PM (odIVf)

57 Thr new sheriff is a...

Posted by: Bart at July 26, 2026 02:34 PM (2Ez/1)

58 47 "Perfessor"

It's amusing to think about horny teenage boys in the '50s trying to read Ulysses in the expectation that it would provide some cheap thrills.

After all, it was banned, wasn't it? Must be full of hot sex stuff.

Posted by: mnw at July 26, 2026 02:34 PM (RCjYY)

59 What is Mamdami’s NYC doing to celebrate 9/11’s 25th anniversary?

------------------

Mamdani probably actually "celebrates" the event

Posted by: Bigsmith at July 26, 2026 02:34 PM (1Au9i)

60 Rand McNally
Posted by: Commissar
-----

As my BIL calls it,'Random Alley'

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 26, 2026 02:34 PM (XeU6L)

61 Free candy.

Posted by: Just like 2001 at July 26, 2026 02:36 PM (2Ez/1)

62 > or example: USGS grid squares, incredibly detailed.
--------
I worked for the USGS Western Mapping Agency decades ago. Some of the old, hand drawn maps from the 1920's and 30's were stored there.

Works of art.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at July 26, 2026 02:36 PM (jehhT)

63 Google kept trying to route us onto the I95 express (read, TOLL) lanes driving through Virginia. Little wondered why that was, so that got me on my soapbox about how state governments and their beneficiaries (like highway regulatory agencies) conspire with tech companies to tweak their software to maximize their advantage over the rest of us. I just about finished my explanation as we crossed into North Carolina...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at July 26, 2026 02:37 PM (nbLIj)

64 My brother-in-law once mistyped an address and we ended up at a community baseball field in south St. Louis instead of at Busch Stadium, our intended destination.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

Nephew was going to a large family party in Montecito CA, put in the address and didn't check the city. They had just moved to Ridgecrest CA, so they didn't know the route. Wife asked did we want to go to Visalia. They were a bit late. Doh,

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at July 26, 2026 02:40 PM (NnhvP)

65 for example: USGS grid squares, incredibly detailed.
Posted by: Don Black at July 26, 2026 02:18 PM

-----

What3words.com

Highly addictive.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 26, 2026 02:41 PM (2Ez/1)

66 Air quality was 450 the OR fire I dealt with. There was one south of Portland and one on the Oregon coast. Expect more big fires in OR and WA. They have idiots managing the state forests and parks. They preserve flammable brush for the animals.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at July 26, 2026 02:41 PM (bkuEU)

67 I worked for the USGS Western Mapping Agency decades ago. Some of the old, hand drawn maps from the 1920's and 30's were stored there.

Works of art.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at July 26, 2026 02:36 PM (jehhT)

When stationed in Germany, our battalion used German made maps, kind of an equivalent of our USGS maps. They were magnificent. I borrowed a few over my time there.

I still prefer maps and atlases but am not opposed to using the interwebs.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, call BR549 at July 26, 2026 02:44 PM (0aYVJ)

68 You could not pay me to that woke Odysseus piece of crap! The cast and director need to be thrown in a Greek prison with Bubba Spiro and his Kabob.

Deport every illegal and Muslim!!!

Posted by: The Man from Athens at July 26, 2026 02:44 PM (F3nnw)

69 They knew he was going jihad and turned him loose on their own people.
Posted by: JackStraw

So; no different than here.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at July 26, 2026 02:45 PM (NnhvP)

70 Posted by: JackStraw at July 26, 2026 02:15 PM (viF8m)

________________________________

AfD: "We're going to need more voter registrations."

Posted by: Orson at July 26, 2026 02:45 PM (dIske)

71 Out-of-the-blue question (I am neither military nor a lawyer):
If you get an honorable discharge of course you can reenlist.
If you get a Less Than Honorable can you still reenlist? Would it then be possible to expunge that stain on the record?

Posted by: gKWVE at July 26, 2026 02:48 PM (gKWVE)

72 Look what we can do!
https://shorturl.at/HlOCw

Posted by: Marketing at July 26, 2026 02:49 PM (vDZgA)

73 Talk about map reading
Tried yesterday to rent a Uhaul truck.
Besides having to do it all on my phone out in parking lot of gas station renting one, though a fairly short trip home and barely couple miles from gas station the website thought I was going to Texas.
Ended the reservation as i couldn't put my license in, the cashier couldn't, said 2 credit cards were bad ( worked later on Easy Pass and today).
Not sure what was scam or legitimate got a message from Uhaul they were going to pay me to use rented truck and pick up a full trailer all not far than my short trip and make $850
As didn't ever get truck didn't matter.

Posted by: Skip at July 26, 2026 02:50 PM (Ia/+0)

74 pick up a full trailer all not far than my short trip and make $850
As didn't ever get truck didn't matter.
Posted by: Skip

They pay their mules!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at July 26, 2026 02:52 PM (NnhvP)

75 >>> 73 Talk about map reading
Tried yesterday to rent a Uhaul truck.
Besides having to do it all on my phone out in parking lot of gas station renting one, though a fairly short trip home and barely couple miles from gas station the website thought I was going to Texas.
Ended the reservation as i couldn't put my license in, the cashier couldn't, said 2 credit cards were bad ( worked later on Easy Pass and today).
Not sure what was scam or legitimate got a message from Uhaul they were going to pay me to use rented truck and pick up a full trailer all not far than my short trip and make $850
As didn't ever get truck didn't matter.
Posted by: Skip at July 26, 2026 02:50 PM (Ia/+0)

Where (about) are you, maybe you're within range of an enterprising Moron?
Some others suggested a Home Depot or Lowe's rental, although I seem to recall them charging for mileage.
I've used a panel van rental from Hertz for multiple trips in the past - much cheaper than a car and your cargo area is climate controlled.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at July 26, 2026 02:54 PM (vDZgA)

76 Feel good story of the day:

I live near a medium sized town. Pretty conservative area overall. They didn't have fireworks or any municipally sponsored 250th Anniversary of the US celebrations. Flags were on houses, flying from personal vehicles etc. but the opinion overall was that those running the town let them down. So they raised royal hell at the following Mayoral meeting. Some enterprising folks actually went out to local businesses and solicited sponsorship to hire a professional fireworks company. They proceeded to line up musical groups and food carts for the local park, and set up baseball games with the local little league.

Next week that town is having an all day 250th celebration with fireworks, food, music, baseball etc. I'm there!!!! They sent the Mayor a personal invitation and told her she was expected to attend.

Posted by: Orson at July 26, 2026 02:56 PM (dIske)

77 Thomas Guides FTW. Those were works of art.

Posted by: Dark Lix. at July 26, 2026 02:59 PM (DZ9Lv)

78 Orson-

Sounds like the mayor needs to find other work.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 26, 2026 03:01 PM (NkUqe)

79 I fairly liked my old Garmin, but new version has Fastest and Straight line. Thats it. Straight might work in desert but in se Pa roads do not go straight to your destination.
If put in Pa Turnpike mode it thinks its the fastest way anywhere you want to go.
Sent a unhappy email to them every trip the fastest adds 7 miles even kn a 20 mile trip.. Need to get back to them their "fastest trip in a screen shot says 28 miles when home in shortest normal trip is 17. Another a 24 mile trip at 1/2 point was 20 more with 12 miles to go.

Posted by: Skip at July 26, 2026 03:01 PM (Ia/+0)

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