And When He Had Opened The Fourth ONT

Fido Friday:Adultery

pic.twitter.com/smVUrGRxXD
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) May 29, 2026

You win an all expenses paid 2 week vacation, but you have to stay in just one zone. Which do you choose?

I think E, although D would be close.

For all the Euroweenies

NGL, this looks awesome

pic.twitter.com/r263bOAgOU
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) May 29, 2026

I think Alex made this meme

Feel good story of the day

Nice

Dying man wanted to see tits one last time. Some heroes wear scrubs. pic.twitter.com/fjehRxJ3Kd
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) May 30, 2026

This guy is a serious creep. And they think Texans are going to elect him?

This is an actual tweet he made that he thinks him somehow look good

Why, just the other day I was saying "You know who I want as my senator? A grown-ass man who texts 13 year old girls at midnight."

Some days be like

pic.twitter.com/L9S6tZdqCy
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) May 30, 2026

Fix her? I wanna race her

Heh

VP of the USA

pic.twitter.com/DREQo8S3Dh
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) May 30, 2026

British Invasion

Scary thought

Feline Friday

When you work from home but you have a cat pic.twitter.com/8J6jC9PUD3
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) May 30, 2026

Boomers vs Gen Z

Find someone who loves you as much as this guy loves his bird

Not to step on CBD's toes, but this is seriously good

pic.twitter.com/GWywgfvQFe
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) May 30, 2026

I made it and my wife said "I think this is my new religion."

Meme from the ending of the TV series "The Boys"

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by the 70s:

Posted by: WeirdDave at 10:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Uh-oh!

Posted by: lin-duh is offended at May 29, 2026 09:58 PM (VCgbV)

2 Hello, Horde! 😊💕

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at May 29, 2026 09:59 PM (SRRAx)

3 Good evening good people.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 29, 2026 10:00 PM (Y2B0/)

4 Chew the wire
Eat the sheep

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 29, 2026 10:01 PM (fF9x2)

5 ONT!

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 29, 2026 10:01 PM (4tsnh)

6 Ooh. Early!

I need some help here…The fruitcake Senate Candidate from TX

Is it Tal-a-REE-co, or Tah-LAHR-I-co?

Posted by: Gunslinger at May 29, 2026 10:02 PM (HZfH/)

7 You mean all I have to do is pretend I'm dying?!

Damn!!

Posted by: Tonypete at May 29, 2026 10:02 PM (Y2B0/)

8 hi

Posted by: Iris at May 29, 2026 10:02 PM (286+n)

9 Zone A because I've never been anywhere in it.

Same goes for E, but it's too damn hot.

Posted by: logprof at May 29, 2026 10:03 PM (jo6FO)

10 F not E

Posted by: logprof at May 29, 2026 10:03 PM (jo6FO)

11 E, final answer. Rome, southern France. The Alps. Constantinople.

Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 29, 2026 10:03 PM (zZu0s)

12 Oh, and hey y’all.
Thanks Dave,

Posted by: Gunslinger at May 29, 2026 10:03 PM (HZfH/)

13 I could murder a pan of those potatoes any day of the week.

Posted by: huerfano at May 29, 2026 10:04 PM (VJX5o)

14 Evenin’, All.

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:05 PM (77rzZ)

15 >>You win an all expenses paid 2 week vacation, but you have to stay in just one zone. Which do you choose?

___
I stay at home. I have no interest in Europe. They can pay for me to stay in the lake house I like that is 3 hrs away and no passport needed.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 29, 2026 10:05 PM (Xdfhw)

16 C, because Poland
D, because Hungary and Romania

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Ivan, did you see the sunrise? at May 29, 2026 10:06 PM (0aYVJ)

17 And When He Had Opened The Fourth ONT

And lo, I saw a rider on a pale horse. And the rider was death.

Musical accompaniment:

https://youtu.be/pJ_UYHqWfJk

.....in case you wonder what Vangelis did before all that "Chariots of Fire" stuff.

Posted by: mikeski at May 29, 2026 10:06 PM (VHUov)

18 E, final answer. Rome, southern France. The Alps. Constantinople.

Thanks for the ONT.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 29, 2026 10:03 PM (zZu0s)
---
D, because a ton of my ancestors came from there. The other came from the UK and I'll probably get stabbed and sent to jail for fighting back.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:06 PM (ZOv7s)

19 I think Jessica Marino must be AI. There's no way she's that good looking and still does stuff like that. She tells men to do stuff like that...and they do. She laughs as they're run over by semis.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 29, 2026 10:07 PM (Riz8t)

20 I'd choose F, for Sicily

Posted by: BifBewalski - at May 29, 2026 10:07 PM (QVmho)

21 You win an all expenses paid 2 week vacation, but you have to stay in just one zone. Which do you choose?

Is cash instead an option?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 29, 2026 10:07 PM (/lPRQ)

22 I need some help here…The fruitcake Senate Candidate from TX

Is it Tal-a-REE-co, or Tah-LAHR-I-co?

Lib-er-ACHI

Posted by: Archimedes at May 29, 2026 10:07 PM (Riz8t)

23 You win an all expenses paid 2 week vacation, but you have to stay in just one zone. Which do you choose?

C lets me see all my ancestors' home countries.

Gotta stop that little tiff in the Ukraine first, though.

Posted by: mikeski at May 29, 2026 10:07 PM (VHUov)

24 Swell ONT!

I'm with you on zone E

Posted by: 496 at May 29, 2026 10:08 PM (sM50u)

25 Fix her? I wanna race her

I volunteer to be the jockey.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 29, 2026 10:08 PM (/lPRQ)

26 RE: the "you'll live option."

In 4th grade, I was running on a lose pile of woodchips on the playground and broke my ankle.

I was sent to the office for treatment, and asked if I could walk on it. I could, but it hurt. Well, it's obviously not broken.

So I went back to class and at the end of the day walked home on it.

It was, in fact, broken.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:09 PM (ZOv7s)

27 >>I think E, although D would be close.

Going back and forth but I think I would swap the order.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 29, 2026 10:09 PM (viF8m)

28 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum, greetings from Amish Country at May 29, 2026 10:10 PM (bfy6w)

29 22 I need some help here…The fruitcake Senate Candidate from TX

Is it Tal-a-REE-co, or Tah-LAHR-I-co?

----
It is pronounced hell-no-way is this freakazoid getting elected. That is another sad wet dream from the out of state leftoids.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 29, 2026 10:10 PM (Xdfhw)

30 FUCK DEATH!

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:11 PM (77rzZ)

31 VP of the USA

That's what TVTropes calls "acrofatic."

Posted by: mikeski at May 29, 2026 10:11 PM (VHUov)

32 You win an all expenses paid 2 week vacation, but you have to stay in just one zone. Which do you choose?

Define "all expenses paid" first, and then we'll talk.

'Cuz this girl can spend some serious money on vacation - just ask Mr. TiFW.... 😂😂😂

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at May 29, 2026 10:11 PM (SRRAx)

33 Tal-a-REE-co, su-WAH-vay!

Posted by: davidt at May 29, 2026 10:12 PM (Q+gd/)

34 Forgot to mention: when I got home, my foot was so swollen that the laces had to be cut off my shoe. Splint and crutches for two weeks, then walking cast.

Fourth grade was on the third floor. No elevator. So I crawled up the stairs for a fortnight using the "teacher" stairwell, but I also got to take a "buddy" to help me get down at lunch and recess. This made me very popular because I got to leave class early.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:12 PM (ZOv7s)

35 "Find someone who loves you as much as this guy loves his bird"
_____________________________

PHRASING!!!!

Oh, and definitely category E on that map. South of France, Monaco, Most of Italy, and some of the Greek Isles.

Isn't odd that your choices are likely determined by which locations still have a handle on immigration in the tourist areas....and even Category E is very compromised.

Posted by: Orson at May 29, 2026 10:12 PM (dIske)

36 "NGL, this looks awesome"

"We lit 500 mortars at once"

Yup. Awsome.

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at May 29, 2026 10:14 PM (O7YUW)

37 I hate everything:

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:14 PM (77rzZ)

38 Define "all expenses paid" first, and then we'll talk.

'Cuz this girl can spend some serious money on vacation - just ask Mr. TiFW.... 😂😂😂
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at May 29, 2026 10:11 PM (SRRAx)
---
Good catch. My great-great grandmother had a considerable inheritance and lost it on the tables of Monte Carlo. If I have an open-ended commitment, I will run up trillions.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:14 PM (ZOv7s)

39 Why, just the other day I was saying "You know who I want as my senator? A grown-ass man who texts 13 year old girls at midnight."

If something like that isn't the "Readers Added Context" already, then his campaign has a mole working at Xwitter.

Posted by: mikeski at May 29, 2026 10:15 PM (VHUov)

40 "NGL, this looks awesome"

"We lit 500 mortars at once"

Yup. Awsome.
Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant

More awesomer, just like the man says.

Posted by: mikeski at May 29, 2026 10:16 PM (VHUov)

41 Why, just the other day I was saying "You know who I want as my senator? A grown-ass man who texts 13 year old girls at midnight."

grown ass-man, more likely.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Ivan, did you see the sunrise? at May 29, 2026 10:16 PM (0aYVJ)

42 29 22 I need some help here…The fruitcake Senate Candidate from TX

Is it Tal-a-REE-co, or Tah-LAHR-I-co?

----
It is pronounced hell-no-way is this freakazoid getting elected. That is another sad wet dream from the out of state leftoids.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 29, 2026 10:10 PM (Xdfhw)

I thought it might be ped-o-fi-ul. Alternates include pond scum and yikes.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 29, 2026 10:16 PM (qx7Zg)

43 Jeebus. Mom would say things like, "come over here and let me look at it"

She told me when I was much older it was a way to do triage, if I could make it over to her, the chances were I wasn't needing to go to the doctor's.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 29, 2026 10:17 PM (rbvCR)

44 If something like that isn't the "Readers Added Context" already, then his campaign has a mole working at Xwitter.
Posted by: mikeski at May 29, 2026 10:15 PM (VHUov)
---
His browser history is going to be spectacular.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:17 PM (ZOv7s)

45 D.
Munich...bier.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 29, 2026 10:17 PM (2WIwB)

46 Not to step on CBD's toes, but this is seriously good
===

Three kinds of fat and potatoes.
How could you go wrong?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 29, 2026 10:17 PM (/lPRQ)

47 What's going on, Bulg?

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at May 29, 2026 10:17 PM (SRRAx)

48 I used to put a blanket on my lap or wear long shawl so my big tom, Angus, could sleep in my lap while I worked.
None of my current cats put up with me working on the computer, but they do like the cat beds I put on the desk flanking my computer

Posted by: Kindltot at May 29, 2026 10:18 PM (rbvCR)

49 40 No matter what the msn says…

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:18 PM (77rzZ)

50 45 D.
Munich...bier.
Posted by: Diogenes at May 29, 2026 10:17 PM
***
This is the correct answer.

Posted by: TRex - Bavarian dino at May 29, 2026 10:18 PM (swDku)

51 The "choose a Zone" thing:

forced choice between places you've already seen (but not long enuf) & really liked, OR places you've never visited. at all.

I'm an undecided voter.

Posted by: mnw at May 29, 2026 10:19 PM (RCjYY)

52 Oh, and definitely category E on that map. South of France, Monaco, Most of Italy, and some of the Greek Isles.

Yes, I was thinking the same thing. No contest, really. Add in most of the Adriatic, too.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 29, 2026 10:19 PM (kYmoU)

53 Here's my first attempt at synonym rolls.

"These taste just like the last rolls you made."

Posted by: mikeski at May 29, 2026 10:19 PM (VHUov)

54 I see Robert the Cat got top billing tonight.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 29, 2026 10:19 PM (qx7Zg)

55 47 Teresa, my sister is dying.

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:20 PM (77rzZ)

56 Jeebus. Mom would say things like, "come over here and let me look at it"

Followed by, "Sit still!"
Then, "Quit crying. That didn't hurt." As she puts the bottle of mirthiolate away.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 29, 2026 10:21 PM (2WIwB)

57 D

I don't think the boob man died. It was a trick.

I see nothing wrong with trying to sail down Florida I-95 in a shopping cart at 0300 as it's not that busy then.

The potatoes are called Fondant Potatoes, altho I've seen recipes that differ from this one. Also for soaking in water 15min to remove starch and searing.

Son is waiting for a flight to Sydney and it's delayed. Giving him about 20min to make the flight from LA. We'll see. I am not looking forward to the Aussie germs he brings home for all of us. I did email him that koalas have chlamydia and gave him stats...which I know is totally normal for mothers to do...or if conversation lags at business meetings.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at May 29, 2026 10:21 PM (WONhk)

58 Fuck death.

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:21 PM (77rzZ)

59 Zone C for me ... Golfer's heaven

****

Florida Woman is worth a try

Posted by: browndog says woof at May 29, 2026 10:21 PM (3sXRv)

60 Mercurichrome. And a spray-on plastic bandage.
Methiolate was brutal.
No wonder I’m “slow”.
Wish Mom knew about the “just rub a little dirt in it” cure…

Posted by: Gunslinger at May 29, 2026 10:21 PM (HZfH/)

61 Though I would miss out on Royal Dornach in the Highlands (Zone B)

Still, I get all of Ireland's great courses

Posted by: browndog says woof at May 29, 2026 10:22 PM (3sXRv)

62 Message for Berserker. Please check in for the hobby thread tomorrow. Thank you.

Posted by: TRex - bulletin board dino at May 29, 2026 10:22 PM (swDku)

63 55 47 Teresa, my sister is dying.
Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:20 PM (77rzZ)

Bulg, I am so sorry to hear that.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 29, 2026 10:22 PM (qx7Zg)

64 Zone A would have the mostest scenery and the leastest peoples.

Posted by: Victor Tango Kilo at May 29, 2026 10:23 PM (f0sNM)

65 The "choose a Zone" thing:

forced choice between places you've already seen (but not long enuf) & really liked, OR places you've never visited. at all.

I'm an undecided voter.

Posted by: mnw at May 29, 2026 10:19 PM (RCjYYlefties.

Or places you haven't seen ever. And aren't interested to see. Europe seems like a risk to visit, and I lack the interest.

Asia and South America seem more interesting.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 29, 2026 10:23 PM (Xdfhw)

66 Teresa, my sister is dying.
Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:20 PM (77rzZ)

Prayers up for Team Bulg.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 29, 2026 10:23 PM (2WIwB)

67 37 I hate everything:
Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:14 PM (77rzZ)
---
God bless you.

Know that there are man Horde member praying for you and your sister.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:23 PM (ZOv7s)

68 So sorry, Bulg. I hope that you are able to be with her.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at May 29, 2026 10:24 PM (SRRAx)

69 Or places you haven't seen ever. And aren't interested to see. Europe seems like a risk to visit, and I lack the interest.

Asia and South America seem more interesting.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 29, 2026 10:23 PM (Xdfhw)
---
The best way to travel is on Uncle Sam's account. IYKYK

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:24 PM (ZOv7s)

70 RE: the "you'll live option."

My Dad, a former FMF Corpsman attached to 1MARDIV during Korea and Mom, a L&D nurse had no sympathies for any of the numerous injuries I and my 7 sibs experienced - UNTIL
Brother John ran over his own foot with the lawnmower.

Mom carried him into the house with one arm and swept dinner off of the kitchen table where she laid him to apply first aid with the other. A real mess. Dad drove him off to the ER.

Only then did Mom sit down, lite up a cig and started to shake.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 29, 2026 10:25 PM (Y2B0/)

71 Florida Woman, dang.

Out of my league, even though she is fucking scary crazy.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Ivan, did you see the sunrise? at May 29, 2026 10:25 PM (0aYVJ)

72 63 55 47 Teresa, my sister is dying.
Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:20 PM (77rzZ)

I am sorry, Bulg. Is this the Sister you just reconnected withbl recenty?

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 29, 2026 10:25 PM (Xdfhw)

73 Thank you, Hour and Diogenes.

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:25 PM (77rzZ)

74
Mary,

I was wondering the same thing.

Posted by: four seasons at May 29, 2026 10:25 PM (3ek7K)

75 Out of my league, even though she is fucking scary crazy.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Ivan, did you see the sunrise? at May 29, 2026 10:25 PM (0aYVJ)
---
*Taps sign*

NEVER STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:26 PM (ZOv7s)

76 >>D.
Munich...bier.

I'm partial to German beer but I've had some fantastic beers in Switzerland too. I could easily spend a couple weeks all expenses paid eating and drinking my way around the Alps and the rest of D.

My peeps.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 29, 2026 10:26 PM (viF8m)

77 Daytona Beach crack addict vs A kangaroo

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 29, 2026 10:27 PM (d9FiM)

78 NEVER STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd

I take "What is sage advice that is never, ever taken for $1000? Alex"

Posted by: Tonypete at May 29, 2026 10:27 PM (Y2B0/)

79 my sister is dying.
Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:20 PM (77rzZ)

Aw, man. So sorry. Sending prayers.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Ivan, did you see the sunrise? at May 29, 2026 10:28 PM (0aYVJ)

80 Thanks for the ONT, WD.

Posted by: scampydog at May 29, 2026 10:29 PM (HQBRg)

81
Sometimes a little crazy is fun, lol.

Posted by: four seasons at May 29, 2026 10:29 PM (3ek7K)

82 {{{Bulg}}}

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 29, 2026 10:29 PM (LmPA0)

83 A. I’d like to visit the Faroe Islands, at least a few of the 18 that are inhabited. Gorgeous scenery and only 50,000 inhabitants. A bit windy and rainy, I can deal with those issues. Getting there might be a bit tough.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at May 29, 2026 10:30 PM (2NHgQ)

84 Zone F has a couple acceptable spots near Sicily and Greece, but most of it rates as bumfukistan.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 29, 2026 10:30 PM (QDJ2U)

85 Only then did Mom sit down, lite up a cig and started to shake.
Posted by: Tonypete at May 29, 2026 10:25 PM (Y2B0/)
---
One of the grandkids was clowning around, fell backward and cut his head on a bookshelf. There was a lot of blood.

Panic ensued, and then Grandpa took charge, put pressure on the wound, called for more paper towel and and an icepack. Bleeding stopped, kid calmed down. A pressure dressing was improvised. He fell asleep. Everyone looked at me expectantly.

"Now what?"

"No idea. I was just trained to bandage them. The medics were supposed to the next part."

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:30 PM (ZOv7s)

86 my sister is dying.
Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:20 PM (77rzZ)

Terrible. I'm sorry.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 29, 2026 10:30 PM (d9FiM)

87 AHL

"His browsing history is going to be spectacular."

Is it better or worse than swastika-man Platner in Maine?

I ask because Platner is 7-10 points AHEAD of Collins in the polls I've seen.

Posted by: mnw at May 29, 2026 10:31 PM (RCjYY)

88 If there isn’t blood spurting out, a bone sticking out and you haven’t lost consciousness for longer than 20 seconds, you’re fine. Don’t be a pussy.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:31 PM (9CzvH)

89 You win an all expenses paid 2 week vacation, but you have to stay in just one zone. Which do you choose?

Me and my golf clubs choose B. 2 weeks in Scotland. That's some good golf. BTW, I have done 2 weeks+ in Scotland, twice. Just didn't golf. Young and drunk is the only excuse I have. Also, didn't want to drag my clubs, via train, all over the place.

Posted by: Puddleglum, greetings from Amish Country at May 29, 2026 10:31 PM (bfy6w)

90 You win an all expenses paid 2 week vacation, but you have to stay in just one zone. Which do you choose?

Why are the latitude lines curved but the zone lines aren't?

I think this is flat-earther propaganda.

Posted by: mikeski at May 29, 2026 10:31 PM (VHUov)

91 And A on the map.

Brown/black folks don’t like snow.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:32 PM (9CzvH)

92 Teresa, my sister is dying.
Posted by: Bulg

Prayers up for Team Bulg.
Posted by: Diogenes

Same!

Posted by: mikeski at May 29, 2026 10:33 PM (VHUov)

93 Zone B for the metal bands. Zone E for the weather and food.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 29, 2026 10:33 PM (snZF9)

94 I take "What is sage advice that is never, ever taken for $1000? Alex"
Posted by: Tonypete at May 29, 2026 10:27 PM (Y2B0/)
---
LOL. I figured my wife was safely on the positive side of the line. I was wrong.

But it'll be 25 years of marriage next month. A wild ride, but it's been great. Sometimes it's worth taking a risk.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:33 PM (ZOv7s)

95 I never used to be a racist asshole.

I am now.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:33 PM (9CzvH)

96 >>Asia and South America seem more interesting.

I think South America is a very overlooked area for a vacation. I like Chile a lot.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 29, 2026 10:33 PM (viF8m)

97 "No idea. I was just trained to bandage them. The medics were supposed to the next part."
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:30 PM (ZOv7s)

Then you take them to the hospital or critical care to get stapled up.
Pro-tip, bring a clean shirt and pants for the kid, but leave him in the blood soaked clothing to get faster service.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 29, 2026 10:33 PM (rbvCR)

98 I'm partial to German beer but I've had some fantastic beers in Switzerland too. I could easily spend a couple weeks all expenses paid eating and drinking my way around the Alps and the rest of D.

My peeps.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 29, 2026 10:26 PM (viF8m)

Hubby wants me to have an interest in seeing Germany and Austria. I'm trying to have enthusiasm. I can put on a cheery face I suppose. The Germans I've ever met were irritating and rude, and that was in the US. I don't like beer much other than Shiner. I do not see that being a trip I would like much.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 29, 2026 10:34 PM (Xdfhw)

99 Don’t go to sleep after you have a concussion, you won’t believe what happens next.

Posted by: Eromero at May 29, 2026 10:34 PM (LHPAg)

100
nurse,

That is what I told my kids to get them to stop calling me at work.

Don't call me because ya'll are fighting.

Posted by: four seasons at May 29, 2026 10:34 PM (3ek7K)

101 I ask because Platner is 7-10 points AHEAD of Collins in the polls I've seen.

Posted by: mnw at May 29, 2026 10:31 PM (RCjYY)
---
OMG, and polls never lie, amirite?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:34 PM (ZOv7s)

102 The best way to travel is on Uncle Sam's account. IYKYK
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:24 PM (ZOv7s)

Yup. Germany for three years, back when it was still Germany.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Ivan, did you see the sunrise? at May 29, 2026 10:35 PM (0aYVJ)

103 Excellent Fri ONT!

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 29, 2026 10:35 PM (wVcYX)

104 I take "What is sage advice that is never, ever taken for $1000? Alex"
Posted by: Tonypete at May 29, 2026 10:27 PM (Y2B0/)

Don't sleep with co-workers.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 29, 2026 10:36 PM (rbvCR)

105 I had no complaints about Bavarian beers. They were all good. But, oddly, the best beer I had during Oktoberfest in Munich was a Czech pale lager Budvar. You might say it's the original Budweiser. It's one of the few brewers who will cold condition the batch for at least 90 days before bottling. Makes it reallllll smooth.

Anheiser Busch wouldn't let them export to the US due to "trademark" issues. Which is laughable since Budweiser Budvar has been brewed for centuries. You can buy it in the US now under the name "Czechvar", but it's hard to find.

Posted by: Orson at May 29, 2026 10:36 PM (dIske)

106 I've not been to Zones A or E. I'd like to try A before E. Of the zones I've visited, I liked C the most.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at May 29, 2026 10:36 PM (0CU3H)

107 Message for Berserker. Please check in for the hobby thread tomorrow. Thank you.

Posted by: TRex - bulletin board dino at May 29, 2026 10:22 PM (swDku)

You got it.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 29, 2026 10:36 PM (snZF9)

108 Thank you, Teresa, AH Lloyd, and Mary.
And, yes, Mary, this was the sister that I recently reconnected with after a long estrangement. The last time that I talked to her was on her birthday, in March, when I sang “Happy Birthday” to her. She enjoyed it.

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:36 PM (77rzZ)

109 E has an amazing variety of options. Just got back from Nova Roma. Add in Italia, Adriatic, Aegean, Iberia. One could find a lot of expenses to be paid in these parts.

Posted by: Fritz (not Fritz) at May 29, 2026 10:36 PM (ohyUf)

110 Isn't most of the US climate around E and F and much of it G-whatever? I've only been to C in winter. Gets a bit nippy.

Posted by: banana Dream at May 29, 2026 10:37 PM (3uBP9)

111 Jeez, Bulg. May she go peacefully and be of blessed memory.

Posted by: Brother Tim, still standing at May 29, 2026 10:37 PM (N5734)

112 "I'm afraid, Dave. I'm afraid, Weird Dave."

Thought why not quote a movie everyone has seen.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 29, 2026 10:37 PM (CHHv1)

113 I never used to be a racist asshole.

I am now.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:33 PM (9CzvH)

You're not racist. You hate everybody. lol

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 29, 2026 10:37 PM (snZF9)

114 55 47 Teresa, my sister is dying.
Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:20 PM (77rzZ)

Terrible news. Praying for both of you now.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at May 29, 2026 10:37 PM (0CU3H)

115 Then you take them to the hospital or critical care to get stapled up.
Pro-tip, bring a clean shirt and pants for the kid, but leave him in the blood soaked clothing to get faster service.
Posted by: Kindltot at May 29, 2026 10:33 PM (rbvCR)
---
In this particular case, we didn't take him in. By strange coincidence, one of my daughters is an EMT, and she swung by and together we deemed that things were in a good place. He didn't like it, but we made him wear a bandage overnight.

Because toddlers regenerate like werewolves, in two days, we struggled to find the cut.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:37 PM (ZOv7s)

116 These new Sanwa Denshi Joysticks and buttons are the cats meow.

This Gimlet ain’t bad either.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 29, 2026 10:38 PM (XV/Pl)

117 Weird Dave’s ONTs hit different. But not in a James Talarico different kind of weird way.

Posted by: H at May 29, 2026 10:38 PM (6Km86)

118 Why are the latitude lines curved but the zone lines aren't?

I think this is flat-earther propaganda.
Posted by: mikeski at May 29, 2026 10:31 PM (VHUov)

The only thing flat earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 29, 2026 10:38 PM (2WIwB)

119 In all honesty, I have absolutely no desire to return to Europe. I would rather visit Mongolia. Really.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Ivan, did you see the sunrise? at May 29, 2026 10:39 PM (0aYVJ)

120 I’ve not been to Iceland, but I’ve been to Finland, Sweden and Norway.

Lovely weather and scenery and wildlife. Not too many lightbulb heads.

Reindeer sausage is nice.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:39 PM (A5RD0)

121 Bulg, hugs to you. I'm sorry.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 29, 2026 10:39 PM (Xdfhw)

122 Evening all,

We have a launch in the morning.

SpaceX - Falcon 9 - Starlink 17-41
SLC-4E - Vandenberg SFB - Space Affairs Live
Launch Date: May 30, 2026
Launch Time: 8:25 a.m. PDT (1525 UTC, 17:25 CEST)

https://youtu.be/PNTtpjYDYt8

Posted by: Joyenz at May 29, 2026 10:39 PM (2F0/Y)

123 88 If there isn’t blood spurting out, a bone sticking out and you haven’t lost consciousness for longer than 20 seconds, you’re fine. Don’t be a pussy.
Posted by: nurse ratched
---

Just home from the hospital I passed out and hit the tile floor hard. Concerned about brain bleed, mostly, I called my doc. He asked, did you break your nose? 'No.' OK, don't worry about it.

those weren't his words, don't remember what he said but that's what it boiled down to

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 29, 2026 10:39 PM (fF9x2)

124 Bulg, I am glad that you were able to reconnect with her before it was too late. I am sorry that your time together now is going to be cut short.

I hope that both of you are able to make the most of what time she has left 💔💔💔

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at May 29, 2026 10:40 PM (SRRAx)

125 Thank you to all my Hordemates for the good wishes. Thank you all:

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:40 PM (77rzZ)

126 The only polls that count are the ones on election day!

Four months is an eternity in politics!

Did I miss any rose-tinted cliches?

Paxton is not safe, and Collins is worse than "not safe."

And as for that open Senate seat in NC...

Posted by: mnw at May 29, 2026 10:40 PM (RCjYY)

127 Jessica Marino shopping cart gal

"I can fix her"
......

Why would you want to fix that?

Posted by: wth at May 29, 2026 10:41 PM (oq9dX)

128 96 >>Asia and South America seem more interesting.

I think South America is a very overlooked area for a vacation. I like Chile a lot.
Posted by: JackStraw at May 29, 2026 10:33 PM (viF8m)

Completely agree with this. My mom's from South America, and there is a LOT to see down there. You can ski in Chile in the summertime.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at May 29, 2026 10:41 PM (0CU3H)

129 >>Hubby wants me to have an interest in seeing Germany and Austria. I'm trying to have enthusiasm. I can put on a cheery face I suppose. The Germans I've ever met were irritating and rude, and that was in the US. I don't like beer much other than Shiner. I do not see that being a trip I would like much.

In my experience it makes a big difference where exactly you go and what you want to do. I have no use for Berlin but I've had great times in other areas in Germany, mostly smaller and south, and had a great time. And Switzerland in areas is every bit as beautiful as the photos ace posts and so is Austria.

And you have to like beer. God loves you. And go to South America instead.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 29, 2026 10:42 PM (viF8m)

130 I think the "hot chick committing strange but alluring crime in florida" is probably a meme template you can pull up and add your own text.

Posted by: banana Dream at May 29, 2026 10:42 PM (3uBP9)

131 A vacation choice based on longitudes would be more interesting.

Posted by: Dark Lixtiquatal at May 29, 2026 10:42 PM (W5mpo)

132 I never used to be a racist asshole.

I am now.
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:33 PM (9CzvH)

Heh. I try not to be a racist, but all these fuckers around me makes this extremely difficult.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Ivan, did you see the sunrise? at May 29, 2026 10:42 PM (0aYVJ)

133 {{{Bulg}}}

Prayers going out, for you and her. Comfort for you both, medical staff willing to do their best for her.

Posted by: Barkingmad59, wandering lurkette at May 29, 2026 10:42 PM (sEJiq)

134 Posted by: Orson at May 29, 2026 10:36 PM (dIske)

Czech pilsners. Years ago Pilsner Urquel licensed a Canadian brewer to make its beer and it's dang tasty.

Posted by: 13times at May 29, 2026 10:43 PM (pIIW9)

135 Bulg,

I'm sorry to read about your sister. Sending prayers and hugs to you and family.

Posted by: Joyenz at May 29, 2026 10:43 PM (2F0/Y)

136 I saw Pale White Horse of Death open for System of a Down at The Whiskey in '82.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 29, 2026 10:44 PM (u/oMr)

137 Isn't most of the US climate around E and F and much of it G-whatever? I've only been to C in winter. Gets a bit nippy.
Posted by: banana Dream

Venice: about 45 degrees north
Fargo: about 47 degrees north
Paris: about 49 degrees north

Latitude ain't everything.

Posted by: mikeski has a bad latitude at May 29, 2026 10:44 PM (VHUov)

138 In high school some friends would have races in the parking lot where we would put our cars in neutral, open the doors and then tac into the wind, backwards. This is a thing you can do in Kansas. Probably not elsewhere.

Posted by: banana Dream at May 29, 2026 10:44 PM (3uBP9)

139 That vid of the guy working from home is spot on. Prettygirl not only insists on desk time with me but when I'm on the phone she insists on participating. It does endear me to court clerks and such so that's a good thing.

Posted by: Dark Lixtiquatal at May 29, 2026 10:45 PM (W5mpo)

140 A hearty, meaty ONT, with a delicious variety of amusements and diversions. Simmered to perfection.

That "dying" old guy with the accommodating nurse miraculously recovered the next day. The kid attempting, with predictable results, to stomp the beer cans did not.

The feline work assistant - how did you get that picture of our dear old Ony cat?

Posted by: mindful webworker - and hospital ghosts at May 29, 2026 10:45 PM (kU8xu)

141 Very sorry to hear that, Bulg. Wish I knew something to say.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 29, 2026 10:46 PM (CHHv1)

142 OK, with the potatoes...
Where is the actual recipe to be found?

Also, isn't there a French word for those sorts of potatoes?

Posted by: GWB at May 29, 2026 10:46 PM (kU0PQ)

143 The largest water park in Europe is in Spain so whatever zone that’s in.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 29, 2026 10:46 PM (XV/Pl)

144 Florida Woman with twigs in hair arrested after throwing nuts at police officers and yelling "I am the Squirrel Queen!"

-- picture of tweet from Florida TV station.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 29, 2026 10:47 PM (qx7Zg)

145 E or F for weather and food.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 29, 2026 10:47 PM (d9FiM)

146 As to which zone....
Which one do I think I could conquer the easiest?

Posted by: GWB at May 29, 2026 10:47 PM (kU0PQ)

147 never used to be a racist asshole.

I am now.
Posted by: nurse ratched
---------
I dislike everyone in a my own special way.

Posted by: scampydog at May 29, 2026 10:47 PM (HQBRg)

148 I love you, Bers.

Hug wife. I love her more.
And I miss WDS. Damn. She was a hoot.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:48 PM (PComA)

149 My biggest question about FL Woman is how did she rig the sail? A shower curtain is square-ish so I'm assuming lanteen or gaff?

Posted by: Oddbob at May 29, 2026 10:48 PM (vTZFs)

150 When I lived in Germany, I got some Budweiser, the original Czech brew. I wish I had saved a bottle. it was a pilsner, but pretty good.

I also had a bottle of Stolichnaya with the Cyrillic script. Paid like a buck two-fitty for it in East Berlin. Again, wish I had kept the bottle.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Ivan, did you see the sunrise? at May 29, 2026 10:48 PM (0aYVJ)

151 In my experience it makes a big difference where exactly you go and what you want to do. I have no use for Berlin but I've had great times in other areas in Germany, mostly smaller and south, and had a great time. And Switzerland in areas is every bit as beautiful as the photos ace posts and so is Austria.

And you have to like beer. God loves you. And go to South America instead.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 29, 2026 10:42 PM (viF8m)

Hubby lived in Bavaria for a while. He lived right there at Neuschwanstein. I need to nut up and go. I could put up with beer and sausages and Germans and put on a shit eating grin. . He would be so happy.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 29, 2026 10:49 PM (Xdfhw)

152 Thank you all, for your prayers and thoughts. I cannot tell you how much they mean. I am crying as I type this.

Thank you all. And that includes all those expressed below.

Thank you all for being here.

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:49 PM (77rzZ)

153 Praying for you and your sister, Bulg.

Posted by: RandomDave at May 29, 2026 10:50 PM (aJQbY)

154 Strange to say, but Zone F is where it's at. Morocco is a great place to visit. Stay in a Riad in Marrakech if you can; it's North African hospitality culture at its finest.

Otherwise, the high rollers can book a room at La Mamounia, a first-rate hotel experience just a hop, skip and a rented camel ride from the city square at Jemaa al-Fnaa.

You're welcome.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 29, 2026 10:51 PM (u/oMr)

155 Fondant Potatoes, or pommes de terre fondantes

Posted by: Kindltot at May 29, 2026 10:51 PM (rbvCR)

156 >>Completely agree with this. My mom's from South America, and there is a LOT to see down there. You can ski in Chile in the summertime.

I went to a bachelor party in the Lakes Region of southern Chile. Old customer who turned into a lifelong friend. Absolutely spectacular area and very friendly and safe.

We went for a hike in a national park one morning and then ended up having lunch at a ski lodge that was on a mountain that was an active volcano. As in it was venting smoke constantly. Overlooked a huge crystal clear lake. And it was cheap compared to going to Europe.

Loved every time I've visited South America.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 29, 2026 10:51 PM (viF8m)

157 My biggest question about FL Woman is how did she rig the sail? A shower curtain is square-ish so I'm assuming lanteen or gaff?
Posted by: Oddbob at May 29, 2026 10:48 PM (vTZFs)
---
If she's running before the wind, a square rig would do quite well. She'd have to be careful when she comes about to make a turn, tho.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:52 PM (ZOv7s)

158 My biggest question about FL Woman is how did she rig the sail? A shower curtain is square-ish so I'm assuming lanteen or gaff?
Posted by: Oddbob at May 29, 2026 10:48 PM (vTZFs)

Honestly, she could have done a Polynesian Crab-Claw rig, it can use a more square sail.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 29, 2026 10:53 PM (rbvCR)

159 135 Thank you, Joyenz. I miss your Dad. Best wishes to you and yours.

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:54 PM (77rzZ)

160 I would much prefer travel
To SA than Europe.

Is it safe for a single white woman?

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:54 PM (4piHn)

161 153 Thank you.

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 10:55 PM (77rzZ)

162 I speak Spanish, but not Portuguese.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:56 PM (4piHn)

163 The Florida Woman in the shopping cart on the Interstate doesn't need to be fixed. She's just fine, as-is.

Posted by: a.moron at May 29, 2026 10:56 PM (X5Jzz)

164 Honestly, she could have done a Polynesian Crab-Claw rig, it can use a more square sail.
Posted by: Kindltot at May 29, 2026 10:53 PM (rbvCR)
---
*golf clap*

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 29, 2026 10:57 PM (ZOv7s)

165 Region E. I could spend 2 weeks in Italy alone, and if that fails, plenty of interesting stuff to see on the other side of the Adriatic coast, I'll bet.

Honestly though? Fuck most of the places in that map. I'd rather spend my time in parts of Asia these days.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at May 29, 2026 10:57 PM (AUL7F)

166 I love you, Bers.

Hug wife. I love her more.
And I miss WDS. Damn. She was a hoot.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:48 PM (PComA)

We love you too. Yeah, I think about WDS somewhat often. She was a riot.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 29, 2026 10:58 PM (snZF9)

167 Honestly though? Fuck most of the places in that map. I'd rather spend my time in parts of Asia these days.

--------

Vietnam is worth a look.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 29, 2026 10:58 PM (u/oMr)

168 Leaving for zone E and F on June 24 with daughter, son-in-law and grandkids. Portugal... Peniche and south to the Med.

Posted by: wth at May 29, 2026 10:59 PM (oq9dX)

169 Sorry, Cicero,

Marakesh was a nightmare. I was with two girlfriends and we were dressed appropriately. We were hissed at in public in the daytime, followed and harassed. And this was 20 years ago.

I doubt the sand people have progressed much.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 29, 2026 10:59 PM (A5RD0)

170 155 Fondant Potatoes, or pommes de terre fondantes
Posted by: Kindltot
---

So, potatoes, a can of cream of celery soup, some cilantro, garlic and onion and you're good to go?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 29, 2026 11:00 PM (fF9x2)

171 If anyone needs a dose of cuteness, this video might help.

https://youtube.com/shorts/ElsSjQwzVKg

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 29, 2026 11:00 PM (qx7Zg)

172 Prays for you sister Bulg. At least you reconnected with her. Thats worth a lot.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 29, 2026 11:00 PM (snZF9)

173 Marakesh was a nightmare. I was with two girlfriends and we were dressed appropriately. We were hissed at in public in the daytime, followed and harassed. And this was 20 years ago.

--------

You're lucky you weren't in Fez.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 29, 2026 11:01 PM (u/oMr)

174 Polling is broken completely. I can point to no better example than the fact that not one single poll picked up on the fact that Paxton was cruising towards a 2-1 victory over Cornyn.

How could an honest, worthwhile polling outfit have missed such a huge trend? But they all did.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 29, 2026 11:02 PM (QDJ2U)

175 172 Yes, I’m very glad about that.

Posted by: Bulg at May 29, 2026 11:03 PM (77rzZ)

176 Oh, and definitely category E on that map. South of France, Monaco, Most of Italy, and some of the Greek Isles.
Posted by: Orson at May 29, 2026 10:12 PM (dIske)

I used to spend time looking at Greek islands I could buy (some day). Now that "some day" has expired, unfortunately. Still, it's fun to dream.

(Those dreams included a large Phalanx system on the top of the fortress, an army of 'ettes to defend the place, and a nuke to power the place.)

Posted by: GWB at May 29, 2026 11:03 PM (kU0PQ)

177 >>I would much prefer travel
To SA than Europe.

>>Is it safe for a single white woman?

Like everywhere, depends on when and where. The more public and touristy areas I've been during the day are fine, some get sketchier after dark.

You'd feel right at home in southern Chile. It feels like the Pacific Northwest.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 29, 2026 11:04 PM (viF8m)

178 "S.F. pedestrian hit by recycling truck suffers life-threatening injuries"

You know there's an old punchline just dying to try it again.

Posted by: Dark Lixtiquatal at May 29, 2026 11:05 PM (W5mpo)

179 Vietnam is worth a look.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 29, 2026 10:58 PM (u/oMr)

Saigon has gone through a bit of a conversion.

https://tinyurl.com/bdzckmyu

Posted by: javems at May 29, 2026 11:05 PM (zFsEm)

180 Hard to match my time in Vietnam, mostly because of the march of time (it was much mellower then, and far fewer dai tourists, and very few who got off the beaten path such as it was), and circumstances. Linked up with a local the whole time (gf), whose daddy had been VC but then a fairly high-ranking guvamint official, so lived in a 'hood, did local things, and once stayed in a military vacation hotel (Nha Trang) thanks to daddy's status.

Her father had been on the trail during the war, was grateful to have survived, was sent to East Germany for college (accounting), ended up finance minister of a key province, but was sidelined for outing corruption. When he visited his daughter in the US he spent a lot of time at the Jefferson Memorial, making her translate every word on the walls. He was wildly pro-American.

Vietnam in the 90s was an incredibly cheap, impossibly friendly paradise for those who don't mind a few - none important - rough edges.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 29, 2026 11:05 PM (U/Byj)

181 Vietnam is worth a look.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 29, 2026 10:58 PM (u/oMr)
---
I'm partial to the Thai ladyboys!

Posted by: Devoted Seminarian Talerico at May 29, 2026 11:06 PM (ZOv7s)

182 @174 Polling depends entirely on the rationality of the respondents. We no longer live in an age where the unrational can be disregarded. Instead, they are courted. And they add to the count. And we get the results we have seen in recent years.

The Insane vote. And they vote for their friends.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 29, 2026 11:07 PM (CHHv1)

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