Paxton Retires Arrogant Liberal GOPer John Cornyn In Absolute Drubbing

Paxton Retires Arrogant Liberal GOPer John Cornyn In Absolute Drubbing

I was wondering why no one made a call given such a lopsided vote total. It's because voting was still going on in the western (Mountain time) corner of the state.

The moment the clock struck 8pm Central, they called it:

Update: Per Decision Desk, with 52% reporting, Paxton is absolutely curb-stomping Cornyn 62% to 37%. We're getting to the point where, in order to win, Cornyn would have to win 80% of the outstanding vote. That's not going to happen, obviously.

NBC: Paxton is "absolutely trouncing" Cornyn.

Decision Desk: Paxton is favored to win.

Even before the endorsement, Paxton led in runoff polling, though Cornyn was not far behind until the days leading up to Trump's announcement. Yet the most recent polling in the race -- including surveys conducted before the endorsement -- found Paxton leading by at least 10 percentage points. In Decision Desk HQ's polling average, Paxton leads Cornyn by 15 points, 54%-39%.

Cornyn's only message is "vote for me or Texans will suddenly go crazy and vote for the gay fake preacher.

Cornyn's primary race against challenger Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton finally comes to a head in today's runoff election. After what has been a particularly bruising primary, Cornyn expressed his worry that Republicans stand to lose a seat that would be devastating for the party's hopes of retaining a majority in the upper chamber.
Speaking with Fox News Digital ahead of Election Day, Cornyn touted Texas as "the most conservatively governed state in the country," making it a "land of opportunity and where the American dream is still very much alive."
"But I think all of that's at risk, depending on how this primary runoff turns out, because I think Ken Paxton's flaws and the baggage he brings to the general election are going to be exploited up to the fullest by James Talarico and by Democrats," he said.
Whoever emerges Tuesday night will have to face state Rep. James Talarico, a Democratic rising star who many in the party believe has broad enough appeal to finally flip the state for the first time in over two decades.
Cornyn expressed worry about Talarico's fundraising abilities, citing the $27 million he raised in the first quarter of the year. He asserted that if Paxton wins, "there will be a tsunami of money coming into the state from outside."
He also asserted that "it's not only that Senate seat he [Paxton] puts at risk, it's also all the down-ballot races, state legislative races, local races, like the judges and the like."
"We haven't elected a Democrat in statewide office since 1994 in Texas," he said. "President Trump is not running, so the Senate race will be at the top, and I believe that I will be in a better position to help provide a significant margin, a winning margin, not only in my case, but also to help everybody down ballot."
"I don't think the attorney general can do that because of the significant baggage he brings into the race, which jeopardizes success from the top to the bottom," he said.
Paxton has faced a slew of scandals and legal problems that have battered him over the past decade. In 2023, the Texas House of Representatives voted to impeach Paxton, but he was eventually acquitted of all charges by the state Senate.

Should we really be worried that if Texas Republicans nominate the conservative MAGA AG Ken Paxton, Texas Republicans will suddenly flip and vote for James Talarico in the general?

I find that claim dubious.

This clip from Tuesday’s ‘CBS Mornings’ with @EdOKeefe covering the #TXSen runoff is the first time anyone has aired on a lead broadcast network morning or evening show (ABC, CBS, NBC) clips of Texas Democrat James Talarico saying there are “six” genders and “God is non-binary” pic.twitter.com/l0DAuIAjRQ
— Curtis Houck (@CurtisHouck) May 26, 2026

James Talarico: “The American flag is such a complicated symbol for most of us.” pic.twitter.com/zcMowHvZeL
— Matt Wolking (@MattWolking) May 25, 2026

Jeremiah 1:5 - pic.twitter.com/D4Oh85Ngj1
— TJ (@RestoreHonor) May 26, 2026

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 08:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Na na na na
Hey hey hey
Good Bye!!

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 26, 2026 08:01 PM (wVcYX)

2 Talarico is freaking creepy. Kids buried in his backyard

Posted by: Kratwurst at May 26, 2026 08:02 PM (9gKa/)

3 This should be fun.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:02 PM (zZu0s)

4 Talarico is freaking creepy. Kids buried in his backyard
Posted by: Kratwurst at May 26, 2026 08:02 PM (9gKa/)

Live one in his trunk.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:02 PM (zZu0s)

5 The very most western part of TX is in the mountain time zone.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 08:02 PM (Xdfhw)

6 Missed by this much.

Posted by: Gmac-WTF did you think was going to happen? at May 26, 2026 08:03 PM (Q/FnY)

7 Jesus was also completely silent about snorting cocaine off a hooker's a$$. So there!

Posted by: Hunter Biden, Theologian at May 26, 2026 08:03 PM (PiwSw)

8 Watch the results from fannin county Texas tonight. If my county goes for paxton it's over for coryn because there are a butt ton of old school republicans here that don't like change and will vote for the incumbent as long as he is a republican no matter what.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at May 26, 2026 08:03 PM (0N4FZ)

9 I think his recently discoverd "girlfriend" is totally fake.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 08:04 PM (l26NL)

10 Talarico is a painfully obvious spook plant.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 26, 2026 08:04 PM (j92eC)

11
Talarico is freaking creepy. Kids buried in his backyard
Posted by: Kratwurst at May 26, 2026 08:02 PM (9gKa/)

Live one in his trunk.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:02 PM (zZu0s)

___________

The Rev. Jim Talarico Jones

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:04 PM (HdYcL)

12 Woohoo!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 26, 2026 08:04 PM (VyBeY)

13
Ba bye Johnny. Give my best to the Bushes.

Posted by: Auspex at May 26, 2026 08:04 PM (Y8DZL)

14 Speaking with Fox News Digital ahead of Election Day, Cornyn touted Texas as "the most conservatively governed state in the country...

But they'll vote for the flake D if they can't vote for you? 'Splain that math, Johnno.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:05 PM (vTZFs)

15
*shakes finger at Horde*

Just you remember, if Paxton wins by one vote, it was mine!

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:05 PM (HdYcL)

16
Don't know much about Talarico.

Is he an asshole?

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 08:05 PM (3ek7K)

17 In Decision Desk HQ's polling average, Paxton leads Cornyn by 15 points, 54%-39%.

If that percentage holds up tonight that is a huge FVCK YOU to the rino's in congress.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at May 26, 2026 08:05 PM (0N4FZ)

18 Cornyn's only message is "vote for me or Texans will suddenly go crazy and vote for the gay fake preacher.

That's not true!!! * stamps feet *

I also voted with President Trump 99.2% of the time! How much has that Paxton guy voted with President Trump?

Zero! Zero point zero zero zero zero zero percent of the time!

Posted by: John Cornyn (Rino-TX) at May 26, 2026 08:06 PM (0sNs1)

19 Cornyn's last gasp was to ask commiecrats to vote for him.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 08:06 PM (l26NL)

20 Is he an asshole?

Posted by: four seasons

In the sense that you are what you eat

Posted by: Kratwurst at May 26, 2026 08:06 PM (9gKa/)

21
The CIA-affiliated list of elected officials is probably getting longer, not shorter.

Posted by: Auspex at May 26, 2026 08:07 PM (Y8DZL)

22
Is he an asshole?

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 08:05 PM (3ek7K)

____________

Yes, even for a Democrat.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:07 PM (HdYcL)

23 Ramming speed! *pulls lanyard for steam whistle*

Posted by: D-Day at May 26, 2026 08:07 PM (wVcYX)

24 Dear John, we voted for you. You went all gay.

The 2022 Cornyn-Biden Gun Control Package
In 2022, Cornyn teamed up with President Joe Biden and Senator Chris Murphy to pass S.2938 — the largest federal gun control package in over 30 years.

Cornyn’s bill didn’t just tinker around the edges. It funded and expanded “Red Flag” Gun Confiscation across the country, using $750 million in taxpayer dollars to bankroll laws that allow the government to seize firearms without due process.
It empowered Biden’s ATF to crack down on private gun sales by redefining what it means to be a “gun dealer” — something the National Association for Gun Rights warned Cornyn about repeatedly.
It created a lifetime gun ban for many young Americans through a new federal registration scheme, and it introduced a brand-new gun ban targeting anyone who has had a “bad date,” opening the door to disarmament based on vague, unsubstantiated accusations.
https://tinyurl.com/ykwjbw4z

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 08:07 PM (MTg2D)

25 Don't know much about Talarico.

Is he an asshole?

Posted by: four seasons

Sure sounds like one.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 26, 2026 08:07 PM (HinvH)

26 Don't know much about Talarico.

Is he an asshole?

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 08:05 PM (3ek7K)

He's creepy. And gay. And sets my teeth on edge. If Sean Hannitys voice was a person- it would be Talarico.

And not the fun, devil may care, Vespa riding messenger bag slinging kind of gay.

Gimp suit and cannibalism gay.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:07 PM (zZu0s)

27 Temu Beto O'Rourke looks like he's had an underage peen or twenty in his mouth.

Posted by: Extra fake and ghey at May 26, 2026 08:07 PM (TbWk/)

28
Thanks.

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 08:07 PM (3ek7K)

29 Don't know much about Talarico.

Is he an asshole?

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 08:05 PM

Depending on your definition of asshole, yes, especially if you preface it with 'smarmy'.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:07 PM (0sNs1)

30 21, ain't that the truth

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 26, 2026 08:07 PM (VyBeY)

31 Talerico only believes there are six genders? What about the other 52? He'll never win the alphabet vote now.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 26, 2026 08:08 PM (zYpTz)

32 Hubby and I did our part to get Cornyn out....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at May 26, 2026 08:08 PM (SRRAx)

33 For a president I keep hearing is very unpopular Trump sure seems popular.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 26, 2026 08:08 PM (viF8m)

34 Didache and the Apocalypse of Peter both attack abortion.
They're not in the Bible of course. (And the Apocalypse sucks and shouldn't be in it; but the didache is awesome.)
But then the Gospel of Thomas isn't in the Bible either, because it sucks too and Talarico cites from that one.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 08:08 PM (gKWVE)

35 Tratelarco needs to spend some time in his King James Bible.

Posted by: Eromero at May 26, 2026 08:08 PM (UYYJi)

36 I'm just here for the defenstrating.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 26, 2026 08:09 PM (RIvkX)

37 Don't know much about Talarico.

Is he an asshole?

Posted by: four seasons

He thinks Jesus is a gender bender.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 08:09 PM (MTg2D)

38 Good evening all
The creepiest one is where he's asked what does he love and he says vey slowly "I love trans children".
There is something really really wrong with him. Also he's Vegan. He lives in Texas and he's Vegan.

Posted by: Sharon(willow's apprentice) at May 26, 2026 08:09 PM (kJmSS)

39 Don't know much about Talarico.

Is he an asshole?

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 08:05 PM (3ek7K)

He's a fucking bizarro fake Christian dude from Austin with a Presbyterian theology degree from fucking Austin who has some fucking weird ideas about God and Jesus. And he thinks us rubes in the sticks should be all forgiving because Mary could have aborted Jesus. And there are multiple genders. And there should be a fucking welcome mat at the fucking border.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 08:10 PM (Xdfhw)

40 Plus he studied at I think a Presbyterian seminary. He talks Jesus, but with an Antifa twang.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 08:10 PM (l26NL)

41 Cornyn's last gasp was to ask commiecrats to vote for him.

I don't think they can unless they voted in the R primary. Texas has open primaries -- you can vote in whichever party's primary you want -- but I'm reasonably sure that you can only vote in a party's runoff if you're recorded as having voting in that party's primary. I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong about that.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:10 PM (vTZFs)

42 It's 2026, but still, do any TX Dems really think a guy who thinks the US flag is "a complicated symbol" has a chance to win state-wide in ..... Texas???

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:11 PM (U/Byj)

43 Senator Cornyn, someone with your qualifications will have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 26, 2026 08:11 PM (wVcYX)

44
The very most western part of TX is in the mountain time zone.

Gerrymandered

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 26, 2026 08:11 PM (Cqx++)

45 22% reporting, Paxton 61% Cornyn 39%

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:11 PM (PiwSw)

46 John Cornyn is getting thrown into the Bushes? With that emotional powerhouse, Jeb!?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 26, 2026 08:11 PM (qx7Zg)

47 I don't think they can unless they voted in the R primary. Texas has open primaries -- you can vote in whichever party's primary you want -- but I'm reasonably sure that you can only vote in a party's runoff if you're recorded as having voting in that party's primary. I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong about that.
Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:10 PM

You are correctomundo.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:11 PM (0sNs1)

48 Of course he's vegetarian, he's gnostic.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 08:11 PM (gKWVE)

49
A fake Bible thumper and a wacko then.

Keeping my fingers crossed for yall.

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 08:12 PM (3ek7K)

50 Should we really be worried that if Texas Republicans nominate the conservative MAGA AG Ken Paxton, Texas Republicans will suddenly flip and vote for James Talarico in the general?

I'd feel so much better if Paxton had ever been elected to statewide office. Maybe something like AG. Possibly having beaten a Bush to get elected.

That would make me feel better.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 08:12 PM (ExV1e)

51 Plus he's a vegan in BBQ Texas. That'll sell.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 08:12 PM (l26NL)

52 Didn't this freak also denounce meat-eating?

In Texas??

I know the country is generally degraded beyond recognition, but we're not quite all the way over the edge yet.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:12 PM (U/Byj)

53 Ten points.

Just like Massie getting demolished.

Get it through your heads, you cuck swine: THE POPULISTS HAVE BROKEN YOUR POWER AND YOU ARE DOOMED.

Now, go kill yourselves.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 08:12 PM (BI5O2)

54 And he thinks [...] there are multiple genders.

Not just "genders" which is the weasel word that they try to use to avoid objective facts but multiple biological sexes. Yeah, he's a nut.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:13 PM (vTZFs)

55
The gay Elmer Gantry

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:13 PM (HdYcL)

56 The Rev. Jim Talarico Jones
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:04 PM (HdYcL)
----
So if he serves Flavor-Aid at one of his fundraisers, I should pass that up?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 26, 2026 08:13 PM (gnNyN)

57
Don't know much about Talarico.

He sells hot sauce by the sea shore.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 26, 2026 08:13 PM (Cqx++)

58 Paxton up 60 to 40, 17% counted. Cornyn going down hard.

Posted by: "The John Cornyn Show," Saturday Mornings at 9 on CNN at May 26, 2026 08:13 PM (qUkBO)

59 Four Seasons, I'm sorry for rhe F-Bombs in my posts. You have grandkids about. But it's fucking shameful

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 08:13 PM (Xdfhw)

60 Of course he's vegetarian, he's gnostic.
Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 08:11 PM (gKWVE)

Can gnostics eat gnocchi?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 26, 2026 08:14 PM (8zz6B)

61 LOL, 18% counted, 60-39 ...

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:14 PM (GD0B3)

62 33 For a president I keep hearing is very unpopular Trump sure seems popular.
Posted by: JackStraw at May 26, 2026 08:08 PM (viF8m)

Weird, ain't it?

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 26, 2026 08:14 PM (zYpTz)

63 The six genders are male, female, Optimus Prime, Bumble Bee, Terminator, and Frankenstein.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 26, 2026 08:14 PM (ndZc7)

64 The Bible doesn't discuss abortion?

It also doesn't discuss killing someone with a cluster bomb either so obviously Jesus is ok with you dropping them on your kids when they won't clean their rooms.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 26, 2026 08:14 PM (sKqQm)

65
Mary,

They hear lots of swear words, lol.

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 08:14 PM (3ek7K)

66 It’s El Paso that counts in the Mountain Time Zone of Texas: land to the east of El Paso in the MTZ of Texas has area but not a lot of people.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 26, 2026 08:14 PM (jTgrB)

67 “ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.”

Psalm 51:6

“ From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God.”

Psalm 22:10

“ From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you.”

Psalm 71:6

I can do this all night.

Posted by: Marcus T at May 26, 2026 08:15 PM (i14TE)

68 Live one in his trunk.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:02 PM (zZu0s)
---
Where's he gonna stash his ballots?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 26, 2026 08:15 PM (gnNyN)

69 Y's Dice, your wise and kind words promoting unity and togetherness always buoy me in these difficult times.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:15 PM (U/Byj)

70 The very most western part of TX is in the mountain time zone.

Gerrymandered
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr

Texas is so flat, when the sun rises in Shreveport, it's rises in El Paso.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 08:15 PM (MTg2D)

71 El Paso ? Do we know any songs about El Paso ???

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:15 PM (GD0B3)

72
Can gnostics eat gnocchi?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Gno

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 26, 2026 08:15 PM (Cqx++)

73 22% reporting, Paxton 61% Cornyn 39%

Hoo boy, I'd better start plucking that crow. (Sorry Ace, nothing personal.)

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (vTZFs)

74
Just wait until the Deaf Smith County results roll in. Paxton won't know what hit him.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (HdYcL)

75 There's a BBQ joint here in TX where the staff uniform is a t-shirt with one of their Yelp reviews on the back.

They were given a one-star rating. The comment was "No vegan dishes."

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (0sNs1)

76 Paxton clearing out Cornyn?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/T4jwl3Wv9ls

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (qx7Zg)

77 Sitting right here, boss.

Posted by: Psalm 139 at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (2Ez/1)

78 James "Chucky" Talarico

Posted by: Ben Had at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (5P5DO)

79 Roy down 11 right now...

Posted by: Nova Local at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (tOcjL)

80 If only ace had said something earlier today, Paxton might have had a chance.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (46HP8)

81 In order to help Senator Cornyn I am officially endorsing him............

So far, I am 0 - 557 but things can change in a flash..

Cackle ............ Cackle ........... Cackle .........

Posted by: Kami (Kiss of Death) Harris at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (xl8DV)

82 I went and cast my vote against the despicable John Cornyn this afternoon. Has to have been one of the most pleasant votes I've ever cast.

Cornyn has fought like a rabid, cornered dog in this election. Never seen him fight with one tenth of this ferocity before, and you'd certainly never see him fight for even a second for any truly conservative position.

Get bent, John, you insufferable, treasonous, corrupt POS.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (X+xvk)

83 Two servings. Middleton leading 55/45.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (vTZFs)

84 Paxton will win.

He will beat Talarico like an old rug.

Posted by: Marcus T at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (i14TE)

85 It’s El Paso that counts in the Mountain Time Zone of Texas: land to the east of El Paso in the MTZ of Texas has area but not a lot of people.
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit

Not to be confused with Mexican Daylight Time which is the same as Mountain Daylight Time.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convicitions at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (glnUu)

86 El Paso ? Do we know any songs about El Paso ???
Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:15 PM

It's in West Texas. There might be a cantina there.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (0sNs1)

87 I'm next door to TX (though I hope not for much longer), but I wish I could have voted for Paxton.

Here in Lousy-ana, the trump-endorsed candidate, Julia Letlow, is running against the state treasurer, John Fleming, in the runoff. Next month, I think.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (wzUl9)

88 Cornyn's only message is "vote for me or Texans will suddenly go crazy and vote for the gay fake preacher.

This message has always amused me. Coryn had two high profile measures to get passed with Thune. He failed at both.

So why wouldn't he get "fired"?

Posted by: 18-1 at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (sKqQm)

89 Senate adjourning obviously did not help Cornyn...maybe Thune should have rethought that one...

Posted by: Nova Local at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (tOcjL)

90 Paxton up 60 to 40, 17% counted. Cornyn going down hard.
Posted by: "The John Cornyn Show," Saturday Mornings at 9 on CNN at May 26, 2026 08:13 PM (qUkBO)

Like Stacey Abrams at a Golden Corral.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (zZu0s)

91 72
Can gnostics eat gnocchi?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Gno
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr

That's gnu.

Posted by: Gnu newz at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (2Ez/1)

92 It's in West Texas. There might be a cantina there.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (0sNs1)

Rosa's ??

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (GD0B3)

93 Talarico was selected for the money grab. Just like that asswipe Beto. No chance of winning, but you keep the campaign cash.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (HinvH)

94 71 El Paso ? Do we know any songs about El Paso ???

No, but they have a Minor League Baseball Team called ...

"The Chihuahuas" So that ain't bad !!!!!!

Posted by: Jackson K. at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (xl8DV)

95 Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (qx7Zg)

that white dog has an eye for physics like Archimedes

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (gKWVE)

96 Still no numbers for the Dem primary. I guess they can't unlock the trunk.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (PiwSw)

97 Just wait until the Deaf Smith County results roll in. Paxton won't know what hit him.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (HdYcL)

That makes me giggle. I know where Deaf Smith county is. Those people aren't RINOs

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (Xdfhw)

98 I hope Cornyn gets the Conan the Barbarian treatment and that Paxton does the same to that Democrat weirdo James Talarico.

Posted by: Gmac-WTF did you think was going to happen? at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (Q/FnY)

99 Don't go counting crows before they hatch.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (Cqx++)

100 If only ace had said something earlier today, Paxton might have had a chance.
Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 08:16 PM (46HP

Well, we always knew that ace was a nevertrump zionist simp.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (zZu0s)

101 El Paso ? Do we know any songs about El Paso ???
Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:15 PM
*
It's in West Texas. There might be a cantina there.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026

***
Better move fast to make it to the back door.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 26, 2026 08:19 PM (wzUl9)

102 At 37 percent reporting, it's Paxton 62-38.

ESAD, Cornyn.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at May 26, 2026 08:19 PM (pE12i)

103 Kami (Kiss of Death) Harris

more like Kiss of Semen

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 08:19 PM (gKWVE)

104 He's a fucking bizarro fake Christian dude from Austin with a Presbyterian theology degree from fucking Austin who has some fucking weird ideas about God and Jesus. And he thinks us rubes in the sticks should be all forgiving because Mary could have aborted Jesus. And there are multiple genders. And there should be a fucking welcome mat at the fucking border.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 08:10 PM (Xdfhw)

He missed that part of the New Testament that tells us there is actually a special place in hell for false teachers. Somewhere in second Peter I believe.

Posted by: I'd take a televangelist over this creep at May 26, 2026 08:19 PM (TbWk/)

105 Plus his real name is not Talarico. That's the name of some guy his mother remarried. His real name is kind of bland and not ethnic at all.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 08:19 PM (l26NL)

106 Oh, boy! This is great!

Posted by: Count Flounder de Monet at May 26, 2026 08:19 PM (wVcYX)

107 Vote today may get close to matching the original vote from primary day...

Posted by: Nova Local at May 26, 2026 08:20 PM (tOcjL)

108 Just to watch him die.

Posted by: Oh, wait. That's Reno at May 26, 2026 08:20 PM (2Ez/1)

109 The gay Elmer Gantry
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:13 PM (HdYcL)

We need photographs of him with the modern day equivalent of Shirley Jones, or, in his case, Paul Lynde.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 26, 2026 08:20 PM (jTgrB)

110 Watch out for yer Cornhole, John.

Posted by: Lawrence at May 26, 2026 08:20 PM (gKWVE)

111 I'm next door to TX (though I hope not for much longer), but I wish I could have voted for Paxton.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (wzUl9)

You should have gone to Harris County. They'd have let you vote for whoever

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 08:20 PM (Xdfhw)

112 Not to be confused with Mexican Daylight Time which is the same as Mountain Daylight Time.
Posted by: Alteria Pilgram

Mexican Daylight Time - 4:30 am hotdogs at RaceTrac gas station.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 08:21 PM (MTg2D)

113 Texas Railroad Commissioner Republican Runoff
County Results
Last Updated: May 26, 2026, 8:20 PM
42% est. reporting

Candidates Party Votes Pct.
Bo French
GOP 283,013 54.3%
Jim Wright *
GOP 237,890 45.7%
Total 520,903
* Incumbent

Election Date: 5/26/2026

Man, no incumbent was safe today in TX? Did the railroad guy suck, too?

Posted by: Nova Local at May 26, 2026 08:21 PM (tOcjL)

114
That makes me giggle. I know where Deaf Smith county is. Those people aren't RINOs

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (Xdfhw)

_________

Them and the Timpson-Tenaha-Bobo-Blair microplex.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:21 PM (HdYcL)

115 I challenged his right for the love of this maiden,
Down put his hand for the gun that he wore.
My challenge was answered in less than a heartbeat,
The handsome young stranger lay dead on the floor.

(I kind of doubt Felina was a 'maiden'.)

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:21 PM (zZu0s)

116 What's the preferred popcorn seasoning tonight?
Imma go with Old Bay.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 08:21 PM (2Ez/1)

117 Texas voters, please forgive me for my lack of faith in you. Though I am no longer one of you, you make me proud.

172 Predictions for TX? I'm guessing Paxton by 3. Roy by 5 just on name recognition.
Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:59 AM (vTZFs)

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:22 PM (vTZFs)

118 Talarico is Skull & Bones creepy

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 26, 2026 08:22 PM (RIvkX)

119 Here's another one. Hopefully the first dog in the clip represents what Texas does to Talarico.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UzvMmnoPKxw

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 26, 2026 08:22 PM (qx7Zg)

120 Texans will vanquish the cornhole.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:22 PM (snZF9)

121 Man, no incumbent was safe today in TX? Did the railroad guy suck, too?

===

😂😂😂

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:22 PM (GD0B3)

122 I wonder if he knows what the Bible says about homosexuality.

Posted by: bluebell at May 26, 2026 08:22 PM (afFes)

123
His real name is kind of bland and not ethnic at all.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 08:19 PM (l26NL)

__________

Jim Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:23 PM (HdYcL)

124 What's the preferred popcorn seasoning tonight?
Imma go with Old Bay.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty

Jalapeno cheddar would be more fitting.

Posted by: She Hobbit at May 26, 2026 08:23 PM (ftFVW)

125 As I recall, Cornyn was the other finalist in the Senate Cuckstakes for majority leader. It's a shame he didn't beat Thune.

It would be exquisite to see Trump slaughter the Party's leading cuck.

I still get the warm and fuzzies when I think about Eric Cantor being sent to the glue factory.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 08:23 PM (BI5O2)

126 He missed that part of the New Testament that tells us there is actually a special place in hell for false teachers. Somewhere in second Peter I believe.
Posted by: I'd take a televangelist over this creep at May 26, 2026 08:19 PM

2 Peter, Chapter 2:

17 These people are as useless as dried-up springs or as mist blown away by the wind. They are doomed to blackest darkness. 18 They brag about themselves with empty, foolish boasting. With an appeal to twisted sexual desires, they lure back into sin those who have barely escaped from a lifestyle of deception. 19 They promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves of sin and corruption. For you are a slave to whatever controls you. 20 And when people escape from the wickedness of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and then get tangled up and enslaved by sin again, they are worse off than before. 21 It would be better if they had never known the way to righteousness than to know it and then reject the command they were given to live a holy life. 22 They prove the truth of this proverb: “A dog returns to its vomit.” And another says, “A washed pig returns to the mud.”

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:23 PM (0sNs1)

127 James Hifler.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:23 PM (zZu0s)

128 still 1.1+ million votes left to be counted !

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:23 PM (GD0B3)

129 I'm next door to TX (though I hope not for much longer), but I wish I could have voted for Paxton.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (wzUl9)

You should have gone to Harris County. They'd have let you vote for whoever
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 08:20 PM (Xdfhw)

This checks out.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 26, 2026 08:24 PM (wVcYX)

130 I don't think they can unless they voted in the R primary. Texas has open primaries -- you can vote in whichever party's primary you want -- but I'm reasonably sure that you can only vote in a party's runoff if you're recorded as having voting in that party's primary. I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong about that.
Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:10 PM (vTZFs)

You are not... quite... correct. You cannot vote in the R run-off if you voted in the D primary but if you voted in neither than you can. My wife did that today.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 08:24 PM (ExV1e)

131 I wonder if he knows what the Bible says about homosexuality.

==

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!

*in Canada

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:24 PM (GD0B3)

132 Y's Dice, your wise and kind words promoting unity and togetherness always buoy me in these difficult times.
Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:15 PM (U/Byj)

Happy to oblige!

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 08:25 PM (BI5O2)

133
45 22% reporting, Paxton 61% Cornyn 39%

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:11 PM

------

So you're saying -- there's a chance.

Posted by: John Cornyn in Intestinal Distress at May 26, 2026 08:25 PM (HLgI3)

134 The GOPe: If you don't vote for us you won't get what you want

Voters: Ok we want ICE funded and the SAVE act

The GOPe: Fuck you

Voters: No fuck you

The GOPe: Well that was uncalled for you uncouth barbarians!

Posted by: 18-1 at May 26, 2026 08:25 PM (sKqQm)

135 Don't go counting crows before they hatch.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM (Cqx++)

Word.

Posted by: Mr. Jones. And me. at May 26, 2026 08:25 PM (TbWk/)

136 I wonder if he knows what the Bible says about homosexuality.

==

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!

*in Canada

Let's just say David French would love to wash Talarico's "girl"-friend's feet.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 26, 2026 08:26 PM (sKqQm)

137 El Paso ? Do we know any songs about El Paso ???
Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:15 PM

It's in West Texas. There might be a cantina there.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (0sNs1)

And maybe a mexican girl?

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:26 PM (snZF9)

138 There's another Jim Wright from TX emerging?

Also, is the railroad commission still a big deal as it used to be? Always one of the nice quirks of American governance. I know that outfit deals with issues far beyond railroads, but still always liked the sound of it.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:26 PM (U/Byj)

139 Talarico could also use someone to boy him.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 08:26 PM (gKWVE)

140 As an aside, you can thank McConnell and the Senate Republican Conference rules for Cornyn not becoming the GOP Leader 8 years ago. Cornyn was in the #2 spot as at the whip, but every leadership position except the leader is term-limited. He was term-limited out of the whip spot, McConnell had no intention of giving up the #1 spot, and he didn't have a chance of beating Mitch, so out of the leadership he went.

Posted by: Vendette at May 26, 2026 08:27 PM (PrsTH)

141 HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!

*in Canada

Posted by: runner

Sure, Jan.

Posted by: She Hobbit at May 26, 2026 08:27 PM (ftFVW)

142 36% reporting...62-37

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:27 PM (GD0B3)

143 45% reporting: Paxton 62.8% Cornyn 37.2%

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:27 PM (PiwSw)

144 You are not... quite... correct. You cannot vote in the R run-off if you voted in the D primary but if you voted in neither than you can. My wife did that today.

Thank you.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:27 PM (vTZFs)

145 The GOPe: If you don't vote for us you won't get what you want

Voters: Ok we want ICE funded and the SAVE act

The GOPe: Fuck you

Voters: No fuck you

The GOPe: Well that was uncalled for you uncouth barbarians!

Posted by: 18-1 at May 26, 2026 08:25 PM (sKqQm)

Voters: Well then, here, suck the fart out of my ass.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:27 PM (snZF9)

146 Until results come in from Def Smith County (coolest county name evah) I will hold comments.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 26, 2026 08:27 PM (gm9Sb)

147 Texas is so flat, when the sun rises in Shreveport, it's rises in El Paso.

Most of Texas is flat, but west Texas has mountains. El Paso is in a pass in some of those mountains.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 26, 2026 08:28 PM (jTgrB)

148 Hey there, Vendette!

Posted by: bluebell at May 26, 2026 08:28 PM (afFes)

149 HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!

*in Canada

Posted by: runner

You wouldn't know her.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 26, 2026 08:28 PM (ndZc7)

150 Still no numbers for the Dem primary. I guess they can't unlock the trunk.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:18 PM

In my county (fannin) if you want to vote in the democrat primary they have you call a phone number when you go to the polling place to vote and they send someone out to open the democrat side of the voting place. It's very odd.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at May 26, 2026 08:28 PM (0N4FZ)

151 Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:26 PM

Are there any metal versions of that song? And if not, why not?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:29 PM (0sNs1)

152 Paxton Looking comfortably ahead in the early returns.

Murkowski just ordered another 8-ball.

Posted by: Vengeance at May 26, 2026 08:29 PM (VnVVA)

153 134 The GOPe: If you don't vote for us you won't get what you want

Voters: Ok we want ICE funded and the SAVE act

The GOPe: Fuck you

Voters: No fuck you

The GOPe: Well that was uncalled for you uncouth barbarians!
Posted by: 18-1

********************************

That's as accurate as it gets. Wonder what it's like to be a Democrat, knowing that, no matter how batshit crazy your ideas might be, your representatives will faithfully advocate for them.

It really doesn't matter how we vote. Conservatives couldn't get representation in government if we held Republicans at gunpoint. It's a party of Jim Jeffords clones. They exist to service the Democrats like Monica serviced Bill.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:29 PM (X+xvk)

154 you can thank McConnell and the Senate Republican Conference rules for Cornyn not becoming the GOP Leader 8 years ago.

CS Lewis mentioned something like this. The demons love it best when you sell your soul and get nothing.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 08:29 PM (gKWVE)

155 Voters: Well then, here, suck the fart out of my ass.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division

Thinking some of the GOPe might actually like that.

Posted by: She Hobbit at May 26, 2026 08:29 PM (ftFVW)

156 With > 95% reporting:

Christian Menefee 68.6% Al Green 31.4%

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:29 PM (PiwSw)

157 If these numbers hold up, this is a schlonging.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:30 PM (U/Byj)

158 Man, no incumbent was safe today in TX? Did the railroad guy suck, too?

Hoping Bo French wins.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 08:31 PM (2PamV)

159 Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:26 PM

Are there any metal versions of that song? And if not, why not?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:29 PM (0sNs1)

No, because gay. lol

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:31 PM (snZF9)

160 Are there any metal versions of that song? And if not, why not?
Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:29 PM (0sNs1)

Is Metallica a metal band ?? Then yes.

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:31 PM (GD0B3)

161 156 With > 95% reporting:

Christian Menefee 68.6% Al Green 31.4%
----------------------
So apparently looking like a werewolf and talking about not being an ape wasn't a good electoral strategy?

Posted by: the lower depths at May 26, 2026 08:31 PM (pRtaC)

162 As I recall, Cornyn was the other finalist in the Senate Cuckstakes for majority leader. It's a shame he didn't beat Thune.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 08:23 PM (BI5O2)

Rick Scott also ran. But Thune won without much trouble.

Posted by: Vendette at May 26, 2026 08:31 PM (PrsTH)

163 Metallica is ghey !

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:31 PM (GD0B3)

164 I wonder if ace has Hump Bot warming up.

Probably not, tis an elegant weapon for a more civilized era.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:32 PM (zZu0s)

165 Dear John Cornyn;

How's my azz taste?

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Posted by: President Trump at May 26, 2026 08:32 PM (RIvkX)

166 If you thought the RINOs hated Trump before, wait until these results. It will all come rushing to the surface like a purpura fever.

Posted by: Ordinary American at May 26, 2026 08:32 PM (fZiTB)

167 Paxton is even winning in Harris Co. 64.6% to 35.4%

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:32 PM (PiwSw)

168 The GOPe: If you don't vote for us you won't get what you want

Voters: Ok we want ICE funded and the SAVE act

The GOPe: Fuck you

Voters: No fuck you

The GOPe: Well that was uncalled for you uncouth barbarians!

Tongue my tain't you worthless shits.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 08:32 PM (2PamV)

169 Has cornhole landed a job with CNN yet?

Posted by: These fish sticks are hard as tits at May 26, 2026 08:32 PM (rPIr5)

170 Hey there, Vendette!

Posted by: bluebell at May 26, 2026 08:28 PM (afFes)

*Waves*

Posted by: Vendette at May 26, 2026 08:32 PM (PrsTH)

171 Talarico

https://tinyurl.com/yk7xeumb

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 08:32 PM (ZwdAr)

172 124 What's the preferred popcorn seasoning tonight?
Imma go with Old Bay.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty

Jalapeno cheddar would be more fitting.
Posted by: She Hobbit at May 26, 2026 08:23 PM
========

Duly noted.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 08:33 PM (2Ez/1)

173 It's over for cornyn he is only 1 point ahead in dallas county. A ton of democrats there voted in the republican primary just to vote for him.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at May 26, 2026 08:33 PM (0N4FZ)

174 It's not a version, they just did something one night for the TX crowd...made them happy I guess...

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:33 PM (GD0B3)

175 >>If you thought the RINOs hated Trump before, wait until these results. It will all come rushing to the surface like a purpura fever.

Look at us. We are the captain now.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 26, 2026 08:33 PM (viF8m)

176 Hey John, have a Wintergreen Lifesaver. -- Chip Roy

https://youtu.be/d8BqUf7E-Cw

Posted by: Lifesaver 1976 commercial at May 26, 2026 08:34 PM (wVcYX)

177 Are there any metal versions of that song? And if not, why not?
Posted by: Duncanthrax

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 26, 2026 08:34 PM (ndZc7)

178 If you thought the RINOs hated Trump before, wait until these results. It will all come rushing to the surface like a purpura fever.

Good! I'm all in favor when they out themselves. Makes 'em easier to target.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 08:34 PM (Riz8t)

179 R/TheBulwark

Republican primary voters in Texas are fucking psychos. Do yourself a favor and look at the nonbinding resolutions those freaks put on their primary ballots. In other words, Cornyn is history.

Coryn will lose, will be interesting to see by how much. I think it will be a significant margin. Runoff emojis made me laugh, that was a good one 😂.

Agree. Coryn’s “identity” is a Trump cultist. That’s it. Now that daddy Trump has spoken out against him the 🐑 will fall in line. A fitting end to a truly pathetic man.

Paxton nearly was impreached and removed from office by Texas republicans. How the fuck the voters support him in any way is so black pilling. He literally would be the worst person to give more power to.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 26, 2026 08:34 PM (ycI94)

180 Roy is such a blowhard pos I hope they put him out to pasture.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 08:34 PM (ZwdAr)

181 Are there any metal versions of that song? And if not, why not?
Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:29 PM (0sNs1)

Is Metallica a metal band ?? Then yes.

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:31 PM (GD0B3)

Metallica did a version of that song? I stopped listening to them after master of puppets, so i wouldn't know.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:35 PM (snZF9)

182 Cornyn will rise to be the prick of pricks, exceeding John McCain during his last days (when he isn't too busy collecting Scrooge McDuck money bags at the Chamber of Commerce).

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 26, 2026 08:35 PM (gm9Sb)

183 171 Talarico

https://tinyurl.com/yk7xeumb

Posted by: Braenyard
======
Trump: "The Democrats have a weird, WEIRD candidate."

heh.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 08:35 PM (2Ez/1)

184 Senate adjourning obviously did not help Cornyn...maybe Thune should have rethought that one...
Posted by: Nova Local at May 26, 2026 08:17 PM (tOcjL)

Maybe the other R Senators didn't like Johnny and secretly wanted him gone.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 08:35 PM (ExV1e)

185 f you thought the RINOs hated Trump before, wait until these results. It will all come rushing to the surface like a purpura fever.

==

And they will huff , and they will puff...and do the same crap they are doing now.

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:35 PM (GD0B3)

186
179 R/TheBulwark

Republican primary voters in Texas are fucking psychos

__________

Oh, I DO hope so.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:35 PM (HdYcL)

187 But Jesus never spoke on abortion!!

Not that stabbing yourself up the V. had been so popular that it was a pervasive problem.

Posted by: Axeman at May 26, 2026 08:35 PM (ikSmX)

188 178 If you thought the RINOs hated Trump before, wait until these results. It will all come rushing to the surface like a purpura fever.

Good! I'm all in favor when they out themselves. Makes 'em easier to target.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 08:34 PM (Riz8t)

I disagree - I think RINOs will turtle up and try to fall in line and protect themselves b/c they covet their seats and the money and power they bring at all costs...

AKA - maybe we finally get a SAVE Act vote...with the 2 primary losers voting against, but the rest falling in line...

Posted by: Nova Local at May 26, 2026 08:36 PM (tOcjL)

189 I did my part first thing this morning. The Cornyn ads that I saw talked about how he was all about decorum or some such.

Like I care.

Posted by: Cybersmythe at May 26, 2026 08:36 PM (VmDLh)

190 Cornyn will rise to be the prick of pricks

The RINO di tutti RINI.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 08:36 PM (Riz8t)

191 2 incumbent GOP senators taken out in primaries in the same month when a senate incumbent hasn't lost a primary at all since 2010.

All because they made enemies of Trump.

Trump has moxie.

If the GOP can keep the House, the next Congress should be much more productive, I think.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 08:37 PM (46HP8)

192 >>Cornyn will rise to be the prick of pricks, exceeding John McCain during his last days (when he isn't too busy collecting Scrooge McDuck money bags at the Chamber of Commerce).

He's gonna get some real time competition from Tillis and Cassidy.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 26, 2026 08:37 PM (viF8m)

193 Dont Tread on Me was a decent song.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:37 PM (zZu0s)

194 The Republican Party, where Jim Jeffords switched parties the second Republicans won the Senate. The party which had the Republican-hating Michael Steele as the head of the Republican National Committee. The party of Bitch McConnell. The party of the Son of a Mailman! The party of the weepy John Boehner! The party of Kevin McCarthy. My God, but we have had some serious LOSERS in leadership positions.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:37 PM (X+xvk)

195 Good! I'm all in favor when they out themselves. Makes 'em easier to target.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 08:34 PM (Riz8t)

I disagree - I think RINOs will turtle up and try to fall in line and protect themselves b/c they covet their seats and the money and power they bring at all costs...

AKA - maybe we finally get a SAVE Act vote...with the 2 primary losers voting against, but the rest falling in line...

I can live with that. The fear of imminent obliteration works for me as long as they do what they're told.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 08:38 PM (Riz8t)

196 Metallica. "El Paso". Live:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_BeILaosm8

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:38 PM (0sNs1)

197
My God, but we have had some serious LOSERS in leadership positions.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:37 PM (X+xvk)

_________

It was their turn.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:38 PM (HdYcL)

198 Cornyn done FAFO'd.

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 08:39 PM (OLFlC)

199 I wonder if Cornyn will endorse and/or campaign for Paxton.
Somehow I doubt it. As long as Cornyn doesn't endorse Talarico, I'm good

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 26, 2026 08:39 PM (hpwtA)

200 @196 There you go.

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:39 PM (GD0B3)

201 2 incumbent GOP senators taken out in primaries in the same month when a senate incumbent hasn't lost a primary at all since 2010.

All because they made enemies of Trump.

Trump has moxie.

If the GOP can keep the House, the next Congress should be much more productive, I think.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 08:37 PM (46HP

Joni Ernst would have lost her primary in Iowa but she read the tea leaves and announced months ago that she's retiring.

Posted by: Vendette at May 26, 2026 08:39 PM (PrsTH)

202 My God, but we have had some serious LOSERS in leadership positions.
Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:37 PM (X+xvk)

Wanna wrestle?

Posted by: Denny Hastert at May 26, 2026 08:39 PM (gKWVE)

203 Two incumbent senators ousted in one cycle (so far).

Interesting.

Too lazy to get the precise stats, but unseating incumbents in primaries, especially senators, has not happened much in recent history.

Plus Massie gone. Another incumbent. Some small signs of life in a political system that's been largely dead for ages. And below the presidential level, where Trump is an extraordinary outlier, historically.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:39 PM (U/Byj)

204 Maybe John will try to get the SAVE CORNYN ACT passed now?

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 08:39 PM (OLFlC)

205
It's over for cornyn he is only 1 point ahead in dallas county. A ton of democrats there voted in the republican primary just to vote for him.
Posted by: Mister Scott

Why would they vote Cornyn if Paxton is so beatable in the November election?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (Cqx++)

206 From the last thread:

And if I'm doing my math right, half of all 13 month periods would include only two check ups.
Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at May 26, 2026 06:09 PM (XvL8K)

Sure, but you need to ask, why 13 months? Because that's the shortest they could make it sound, going from the first checkup to the third. (Which means he's been putting them off a little, more like 6.5-month checkups, presumably because he's so busy.) So, it isn't a random 13-month period; they're specifically trying to confuse people.

Posted by: SciVo at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (Sy6m/)

207 The GOPe seems to miss a point here. Stepping on their dicks with golf shoes and kicking their worthless ass to the curb is us asking nicely.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (snZF9)

208 My God, but we have had some serious LOSERS in leadership positions.
Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:37 PM (X+xvk)

Wanna wrestle?

Nahhh, let's just get high. Or drunk. Or both.

Posted by: John Boehner at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (Riz8t)

209 The whack job D who wants to put zionists into happy fun camp is losing but by a smaller margin than Cornyn.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (vTZFs)

210 >>Joni Ernst would have lost her primary in Iowa but she read the tea leaves and announced months ago that she's retiring.

Same with Tillis.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (viF8m)

211 I was hoping for boobs.

Posted by: Just got here at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (2Ez/1)

212 Longshanks found Cornyn getting jiggy with his boyo.

Posted by: banana Dream at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (3uBP9)

213 Why would they vote Cornyn if Paxton is so beatable in the November election?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (Cqx++)

--------------

Hugh Hewitt cannot hear you because his fingers are in his ears and he's stomping Big Mad!!!

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 08:41 PM (OLFlC)

214 I wonder if Cornyn will endorse and/or campaign for Paxton.
Somehow I doubt it. As long as Cornyn doesn't endorse Talarico, I'm good

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 26, 2026 08:39 PM

I got a gut feeling he is going to go out in a blaze of glory and switch to democrat just to fvck Trump over, because he is done in Texas as a republican politician.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at May 26, 2026 08:41 PM (0N4FZ)

215 “Republicans” were installed, I maintain, largely to prevent anything substantial happening, to even hope of fixing anything. There are some good ones, tho not nearly enough. The reasonably sane Democrats were ran off or expunged long ago. But the same calculus applies.

Take illegal migration. A 90/10 issue for decades going on decades. Somehow, NOTHING could stop it. Not even a little bit.

That doesn’t happen by “accident” or some quirk of the “law” or some clown in a robe.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 26, 2026 08:41 PM (j92eC)

216 204 Maybe John will try to get the SAVE CORNYN ACT passed now?
Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 08:39 PM (OLFlC

====

lol

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 08:41 PM (46HP8)

217 The Republican Party, where Jim Jeffords switched parties the second Republicans won the Senate. The party which had the Republican-hating Michael Steele as the head of the Republican National Committee. The party of Bitch McConnell. The party of the Son of a Mailman! The party of the weepy John Boehner! The party of Kevin McCarthy. My God, but we have had some serious LOSERS in leadership positions.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:37 PM (X+xvk)

Don't forget Arlen Specter.

Posted by: Vendette at May 26, 2026 08:41 PM (PrsTH)

218
As long as Cornyn doesn't endorse Talarico, I'm good

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 26, 2026 08:39 PM (hpwtA)

___________

Even if he did, how many votes is that? Six? Almost all Cornyn's votes will swing to Paxton in the general.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:41 PM (HdYcL)

219 My God, but we have had some serious LOSERS in leadership positions.
Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:37 PM (X+xvk)

Wanna wrestle?

Nahhh, let's just get high. Or drunk. Or both.

I know! Let's do some cheers!

Posted by: Trent Lott at May 26, 2026 08:41 PM (Riz8t)

220 Republicans
Polls close in 21:02
Candidate ... Votes ... Percentage

Ken Paxton ... 444,633 ... 62.7%

John Cornyn ... 264,165 ... 37.3%

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 08:41 PM (ZwdAr)

221 Nahhh, let's just ~~get high~~ cry. Or get drunk. Or both.
Posted by: John Boehner at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM

FIFY.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 26, 2026 08:41 PM (0sNs1)

222 As long as Cornyn doesn't endorse Talarico, I'm good

With the numbers he's drawing tonight, who would it help if he did?

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:42 PM (vTZFs)

223 (You might question the judgement of someone who

Hi, John Cornyn here. You're only true conservative choice. But, before we get to that, I'll be right back. I need to put more restrictions on gun owners in Texas.

Ok, I'm back. I just locked in my re-election with that move.

I"M A GENIUS!!!!!

Posted by: Cornyn's Nitwit PAC at May 26, 2026 08:42 PM (dIske)

224 9 I think his recently discoverd "girlfriend" is totally fake.
Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 08:04 PM (l26NL)

You wouldn't know her, she's getting her sex change in Thailand. I mean going to school in Canada, haha whoops!

Posted by: SciVo at May 26, 2026 08:43 PM (Sy6m/)

225 Ok, here are a couple of place where Cornyn is leading, so you can write them some hatemail or something : Dallas, Panola, Gillespie, Kenedy, Victoria, Sherman.

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:43 PM (GD0B3)

226 Hey, don’t be dissin’ on Marty Robbins. He was a real entertainer and wrote some good tunes. Great guy by all accounts.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 26, 2026 08:43 PM (j92eC)

227 TJM, thanks for filling that factoid in. Now 2010 was of course the greatest political earthquake in American history (excecpt for 1932?), in terms of seats changing hands/parties, from county to Congress.

Vendette thanks for filling that in about Ernst. She had been sort of slippery as far I could tell in recent times, at least in a time that requires a lot of bold action.

Tillis I wonder about. NC elects some real idiots state-wide, would think he could slime by with Dem votes in a pinch, but he ejected too.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:44 PM (U/Byj)

228 I'll admit, I knew Cornyn was going to lose bigly, but I didn't know he was going to take an ass fucking of this magnitude.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 08:44 PM (gKWVE)

229 210 >>Joni Ernst would have lost her primary in Iowa but she read the tea leaves and announced months ago that she's retiring
---

Did she ever cut one ball off a Democrat?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 08:44 PM (ZwdAr)

230 I was hoping for boobs.
Posted by: Just got here at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (2Ez/1)

Well, I jumped off work wifi to look, but the one I was thinking of is REALLY NSFW. Funny how the mind plays tricks on you.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:45 PM (zZu0s)

231 HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!

*in Canada

This is as believable and organic as Cory Booker dating Rosario Dawson out of nowhere, and Charlie Crist's short-lived marriage.

Posted by: Still fake and gay at May 26, 2026 08:45 PM (TbWk/)

232 Cornyn will rise to be the prick of pricks, exceeding John McCain during his last days (when he isn't too busy collecting Scrooge McDuck money bags at the Chamber of Commerce).

No reason for anyone to give him so much as a wooden nickel after tonight.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 08:45 PM (vTZFs)

233 @220 that's not just a defeat, that's an enstompening

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 26, 2026 08:45 PM (hpwtA)

234 Hey, don’t be dissin’ on Marty Robbins.

==

No one is dissing on Marty Robins. Why would you say that ?

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:45 PM (GD0B3)

235 221 Boehner, endorsing Kesslers whiskey during Reds games. "Goes down good".

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 26, 2026 08:46 PM (gm9Sb)

236 In before "shellacking" is used.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 26, 2026 08:46 PM (wVcYX)

237 It's looking like a 20+ point blowout for paxton if these numbers hold up. That's epic and it should send a huge message to the remaining rino's in DC.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at May 26, 2026 08:46 PM (0N4FZ)

238 Great guy by all accounts.
Posted by: Common Tater at May 26, 2026 08:43 PM (j92eC)

Did NOT like commies.

https://youtu.be/0XxYwWg7F8I?
si=VHUWZmyDvGSRsa_Y

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:46 PM (zZu0s)

239 I'll admit, I knew Cornyn was going to lose bigly, but I didn't know he was going to take an ass fucking of this magnitude.
Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 08:44 PM (gKWVE)
----
It really should be a wake-up call for the RINOs in the House and Senate, but most of them are too full of themselves to believe anyone could ever challenge them--and win.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 26, 2026 08:46 PM (gnNyN)

240 Hey Thune, can you hear us now?

Posted by: JackStraw at May 26, 2026 08:46 PM (viF8m)

241 Longshanks found Cornyn getting jiggy with his boyo.

Posted by: banana Dream at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (3uBP9)

-------------

[With apologies to Creedence Clearwater Revival:]

Corn in the Boyo
Corn in the Boyo, em, em, em
Corn in the Boyo
Do it, do it, do it, do it

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 08:47 PM (OLFlC)

242 I'll admit, I knew Cornyn was going to lose bigly, but I didn't know he was going to take an ass fucking of this magnitude.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 08:44 PM (gKWVE)

Gave him an asteroid enema they did.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:47 PM (snZF9)

243 Will we get a flaming rino cuck skull when it's official?

Posted by: Will Robinson at May 26, 2026 08:47 PM (HIzgC)

244 This is what kills me about this state. I tried looking up "conservative voter guide TX" and the first two recommended voting for Cornyn and Chip Roy. There are so many damned phony conservatives in Texas, it's enough to make ya puke. Is Chip Roy still humping Liz Cheney's leg? Who wants to tell him?

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:47 PM (X+xvk)

245 225 Ok, here are a couple of place where Cornyn is leading, so you can write them some hatemail or something : Dallas, Panola, Gillespie, Kenedy, Victoria, Sherman.
Posted by: runner
---

Surprise! He's losing in Harris Co. and Bexar Co.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 08:47 PM (ZwdAr)

246 I know I'm late, but has the sad trombone made an appearance?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (1Ff7Z)

247 I have great happiness in MAGA stomping GOPe candidates.

Thank you.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (A5RD0)

248
It really should be a wake-up call for the RINOs in the House and Senate, but most of them are too full of themselves to believe anyone could ever challenge them--and win.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 26, 2026 08:46 PM (gnNyN)

____________

Republican voters are out of step with their representatives.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (HdYcL)

249 Al Green lost his primary. He was actually entertainingly as stupid

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (hpwtA)

250 Paxton actually offered to drop out if the Senate would pass the Save America act. Think about that.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (l26NL)

251 210 >>Joni Ernst would have lost her primary in Iowa but she read the tea leaves and announced months ago that she's retiring.

Same with Tillis.
Posted by: JackStraw

Iowa's governor didn't run for reelection, either. We're a Red state, but the voters aren't happy, so the Dems have gone all in trying to replace them. They may have a shot for Governor, and a rep or two.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (ycI94)

252 Hey, don’t be dissin’ on Marty Robbins. He was a real entertainer and wrote some good tunes. Great guy by all accounts.
Posted by: Common Tater

And he has a Big Iron on his hip.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (ndZc7)

253 *JUMP SCARE*

Now, where's the bar, and where's my blow?

Posted by: Ann Richards at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (dIske)

254 We'll see if Thune or his coterie of RINO swine change their tune if Cornyn loses. What can be the reason behind their intense resistance to the SAVE Act? How much of it is hatred and resentment of Trump? Will they bend to his will now, or harden their resolve to wait out his presidency?

Something tells me they won't yield an inch. The kind of hatred we're talking about here is preternatural -- beyond political survival.

Posted by: Ordinary American at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (fZiTB)

255 "So, it isn't a random 13-month period; they're specifically trying to confuse people.

Posted by: SciVo at May 26, 2026 08:40 PM (Sy6m/) "

their modus operandi in a nutshell

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (VyBeY)

256 Trump warned them and gave them time to pass the Save Act. They ignored him.

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (GD0B3)

257 It would be AWESOME if Trump would call Cornyn tonight to "console" him.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:49 PM (PiwSw)

258 There is no chance Talarico can beat ANY Republican for Senator. The claim that he can, is simply Cornyn yelling "Boogie Man" in an attempt to force down the Paxton vote in the primary.

Posted by: An Observation sez Trump is my President at May 26, 2026 08:49 PM (Da7Vv)

259 Talarico speaks with the wiles of a serpent. He is a serpent. Ladies beware.

And everyone else too.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at May 26, 2026 08:49 PM (C4BAC)

260 Hey Thune, can you hear us now?

Posted by: JackStraw at May 26, 2026 08:46 PM (viF8m)

--------------

Maybe John will try to get the SAVE THUNE ACT passed now?

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 08:49 PM (OLFlC)

261 Just thinking, the traditional Democrat, Rio Grande valley is not going to vote for Talarico, no huey.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 08:49 PM (ZwdAr)

262 Let us commemorate this evening with triscuits and milk.

Posted by: Accomack at May 26, 2026 08:49 PM (QoCBg)

263
It would be AWESOME if Trump would call Cornyn tonight to "console" him.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:49 PM (PiwSw)

___________

Ambassador to Uzbekistan

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:50 PM (HdYcL)

264
It would be AWESOME if Trump would call Cornyn tonight to "console" him.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:49 PM (PiwSw)

___________

Ambassador to Uzbekistan

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:50 PM (HdYcL)

265 It really should be a wake-up call for the RINOs in the House and Senate, but most of them are too full of themselves to believe anyone could ever challenge them--and win.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 26, 2026 08:46 PM (gnNyN)

____________

Republican voters are out of step with their representatives.

The people have lost the government's confidence and can only regain it with redoubled effort. The reps need to dissolve the people and appoint another.

h/t to Bertold Brecht

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 08:50 PM (Riz8t)

266 An epic schlonging if the numbers don't change.

Along with Cassidy/Massie/forced retirements, indeed something you'd think Beltway GOPe incumbents would notice.

But like the mullahs, they know they only have to hang on for a few years now and there's a chance of survival.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:50 PM (U/Byj)

267 Wait , Dallas may not be a win for Cornyn.

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:50 PM (GD0B3)

268 244 This is what kills me about this state. I tried looking up "conservative voter guide TX" and the first two recommended voting for Cornyn and Chip Roy. There are so many damned phony conservatives in Texas, it's enough to make ya puke. Is Chip Roy still humping Liz Cheney's leg? Who wants to tell him?
Posted by: Sam Adams

I was hoping a Bush was on the ballot somewhere. Is ¡Jeb! available, perchance?

Posted by: No One Ever at May 26, 2026 08:51 PM (ycI94)

269
*throws phone across room*

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:51 PM (HdYcL)

270 254 We'll see if Thune or his coterie of RINO swine change their tune if Cornyn loses. What can be the reason behind their intense resistance to the SAVE Act? How much of it is hatred and resentment of Trump? Will they bend to his will now, or harden their resolve to wait out his presidency?

Something tells me they won't yield an inch. The kind of hatred we're talking about here is preternatural -- beyond political survival.
Posted by: Ordinary American at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM

=====

Cassidy, Cornyn, Tillis, Ernst, and Mitch are still in the Senate until January.

None will vote for the SAVE act despite literally all of them cosponsoring it. They have no incentive and they hate us.

Next Congress there's a better shot.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 08:51 PM (46HP8)

271 >>> Will we get a flaming rino cuck skull when it's official?

Posted by: Will Robinson at May 26, 2026 08:47 PM (HIzgC)

LOL, what would that even be? I'm imagining something reminiscent of a Megadeth album cover but still I can't picture it.

Posted by: banana Dream at May 26, 2026 08:51 PM (3uBP9)

272 'Have you ever danced with telarico in the pale moonlight?'
J. Cornyn

Posted by: Eromero at May 26, 2026 08:51 PM (LHPAg)

273 Al Green lost his primary. He was actually entertainingly as stupid
Posted by: Smell the Glove

Ah, man. I loved Love and Happiness.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 08:51 PM (l26NL)

274 We're getting to the point where, in order to win, Cornyn would have to win 80% of the outstanding vote. That's not going to happen, obviously.
-----
Hey, don't dismiss the "Buick" vote so quickly!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 26, 2026 08:52 PM (gnNyN)

275 "250 Paxton actually offered to drop out if the Senate would pass the Save America act. Think about that.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (l26NL)

it's non-negotiable.
honest elections apparently represent an extinction-level event for politics-as-we-know-them.
which is what we would vote for if we had honest elections.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 26, 2026 08:52 PM (VyBeY)

276 If Paxton wins, we have another......

"STOLEN ELECTION" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Maxine Waters the Screech Queen at May 26, 2026 08:52 PM (xl8DV)

277 The SAVE Act can never be passed. We would find out that 20% of voters are illegal in some way. Vote fraud is the system.

Posted by: Accomack at May 26, 2026 08:52 PM (QoCBg)

278 It would be AWESOME if Trump would call Cornyn tonight to "console" him.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:49 PM (PiwSw)

-------------

Invite Cornyn to the White House under the rumor and auspices of offering him a gig in his Cabinet or Administration -- a la Pierre Delecto in 2016 -- then have Trump grab his own crotch, and send him away yelling "I've got your next job right here!"

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 08:52 PM (OLFlC)

279 We did not get a skull when Massie got tossed. Sad...

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (GD0B3)

280 On RINO radio this morning, Griff Jenkins subbing on the Brian Kilmeade show had on, as back-to-back guests, Karl Rove and John Cornyn, both shitting on Paxton and receiving free tongue-bath in-kind election donations. Sickening! I hate-listen to Kilmeade for his brand of """conservatism.""""

Posted by: uncle miltie f. at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (aVOy8)

281 Paxton actually offered to drop out if the Senate would pass the Save America act. Think about that.

That was a very canny move on his part. It exposed Cornyn as a duplicitous snake for everyone to see. It probably ensured Paxton's election.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (Riz8t)

282 I really thought the old turd was gonna pull this out, via low information voters "he seems to be a good guy!"

the ONLY downside? he and Jim Carreys weirder looking brother are going to vote with the dems on everything til out of office.

Posted by: zigggggy at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (EDeJ/)

283 Ok, here are a couple of place where Cornyn is leading, so you can write them some hatemail or something : Dallas, Panola, Gillespie, Kenedy, Victoria, Sherman.
Posted by: runner

Stay out of Texas John. Stay in DC.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (2PamV)

284
Al Green makes Henry Waxman look handsome.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (HdYcL)

285 Al Green lost his primary. He was actually entertainingly as stupid

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (hpwtA)

They probably nipped it in the bud figuring his next act was to enter the chambers in a loin cloth.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (snZF9)

286 Well it’s not like there wasn’t a warning, Thune.

Posted by: Piper at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (CM7zZ)

287 No talley from Travis Co. They are waiting to see how many ballots they can stuff.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (ZwdAr)

288 Cornyn is gettin' cornholed. Heh.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (I53Wz)

289 Actually I think Tashkent's a decent assignment. Never made it there though I was supposed to pass through a few times en route to Tajikistan, and looked forward to it.

Speaking of which, Marco announced State will start reforming the Foreign Service. Didn't even bother to check if that included hiring process, which was f**ked up back in the 80s and surely played a role in producing a workforce that perfectly reflected the pathetic degraded "educated" cohorts of the subsequent decades.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:54 PM (U/Byj)

290 I was hoping a Bush was on the ballot somewhere. Is ¡Jeb! available, perchance?

Posted by: No One Ever

*******************

Please clap.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:54 PM (X+xvk)

291 280 On RINO radio this morning, Griff Jenkins subbing on the Brian Kilmeade show had on, as back-to-back guests, Karl Rove and John Cornyn, both shitting on Paxton and receiving free tongue-bath in-kind election donations. Sickening! I hate-listen to Kilmeade for his brand of """conservatism.""""

Posted by: uncle miltie f. at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (aVOy

shoot Kilmeade is a rock ribbed republican compared to Trey Gowdy, and his lib guests

Posted by: zigggggy at May 26, 2026 08:55 PM (EDeJ/)

292 My whole life, until I washed my hands of the GOP, I was told to STFD & STFU because the base was the minority and only cucks are electable.

Well, now the base is the majority, and cucks are unelectable.

Will they now STFD & STFU like we were told to do for so long?

Somehow, I think they won't.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 08:55 PM (BI5O2)

293 We did not get a skull when Massie got tossed. Sad...

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (GD0B3)

Maybe after cornhole flames out we might get a whole medieval ossuary.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:55 PM (snZF9)

294 If Paxton wins, we have another......

"STOLEN ELECTION" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Maxine Waters the Screech Queen at May 26, 2026 08:52 PM (xl8DV)

Those will Jews!

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 08:55 PM (zZu0s)

295
"STOLEN ELECTION" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Maxine Waters the Screech Queen at May 26, 2026 08:52 PM (xl8DV)

__________

Gerrymandering.

I am reclaiming my time.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:55 PM (HdYcL)

296 "They probably nipped it in the bud figuring his next act was to enter the chambers in a loin cloth.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (snZF9) "

leopard print, or kente?

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 26, 2026 08:55 PM (VyBeY)

297 Invite Cornyn to the White House under the rumor and auspices of offering him a gig in his Cabinet or Administration -- a la Pierre Delecto in 2016 -- then have Trump grab his own crotch, and send him away yelling "I've got your next job right here!"
Posted by: ShainS

Stay out of my head!
I was hoing to say, invite him to the White House and have some locker room talk.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 08:56 PM (2PamV)

298 Cassidy, Cornyn, Tillis, Ernst, and Mitch are still in the Senate until January.

None will vote for the SAVE act despite literally all of them cosponsoring it. They have no incentive and they hate us.

Next Congress there's a better shot.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 08:51 PM (46HP

Back-stabbing traitors like this should pay a very, very personal price for this level of back-stabbing. A deeply personal price.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at May 26, 2026 08:56 PM (I53Wz)

299 Maybe after cornhole flames out we might get a whole medieval ossuary.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:55 PM (snZF9)

LOL!!

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:56 PM (GD0B3)

300 281 Paxton actually offered to drop out if the Senate would pass the Save America act. Think about that.

That was a very canny move on his part. It exposed Cornyn as a duplicitous snake for everyone to see. It probably ensured Paxton's election.
Posted by: Archimedes

***********************

Absolute brilliance.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 08:56 PM (X+xvk)

301 Invite Cornyn to the White House under the rumor and auspices of offering him a gig in his Cabinet or Administration -- a la Pierre Delecto in 2016 -- then have Trump grab his own crotch, and send him away yelling "I've got your next job right here!"

DJT: Sign here accepting the ambassadorship to Somalia.

JC: Nope, I have no interest in that.

DJT: In 2 minutes, either your signature or your brains will be on that paper.

JC: Somalia, you say...

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 08:56 PM (Riz8t)

302 So...no boobs?

Posted by: Just got here at May 26, 2026 08:56 PM (2Ez/1)

303 shoot Kilmeade is a rock ribbed republican compared to Trey Gowdy, and his lib guests

Posted by: zigggggy at May 26, 2026 08:55 PM (EDeJ/)

Trey Gowdy...he's the dude that looks like he combs his hair with a sledgehammer?

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:56 PM (snZF9)

304 277 The SAVE Act can never be passed. We would find out that 20% of voters are illegal in some way. Vote fraud is the system.
Posted by: Accomack at May 26, 2026 08:52 PM (QoCBg)

First thing that needs to happen is for Congress to pass a separate bill saying that States MUST give voter roll information to the Feds, or they can't ensure the Vote for Federal Elections.

This crap where Judges are telling the Feds they can't LOOK at voter rolls? For FEDERAL Elections? Wow.

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 26, 2026 08:57 PM (mP0Kj)

305 Just before the polls closed in Texas mysteriously a Tractor Trailor Truck showed up to election HQ that had 1,800,000 Mail in Ballots that all voted for Cornyn.

CNN declares Cornyn the winner with 105% of the votes to Paxton's -3.9%

CNN is calling this the most honest and secure election since Joe Biden was selected for POTUS.

Posted by: CNN Breaking News at May 26, 2026 08:57 PM (xl8DV)

306 Texas Railroad Commissioner Republican Runoff
County Results
Last Updated: May 26, 2026, 8:56 PM
61% est. reporting

Candidates Party Votes Pct.
Bo French
GOP 397,447 52.8%
Jim Wright *
GOP 355,887 47.2%
Total 753,334
* Incumbent

Election Date: 5/26/2026

Only statewide race still not certain...it's tightening...

Posted by: Nova Local at May 26, 2026 08:57 PM (tOcjL)

307
Manhattan mixed, poured and waiting for three minutes from now.

Posted by: Auspex at May 26, 2026 08:57 PM (Y8DZL)

308 Thank you Texas.

VAIO.

Vote All Incumbents Out.

It's a start.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 08:57 PM (2PamV)

309 We did not get a skull when Massie got tossed. Sad...
Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (GD0B3)

At least we got a scalp.

Posted by: Methos at May 26, 2026 08:57 PM (vSvIl)

310 289, more like the 30s, imho ... by the 80s it was out and flagrant

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 26, 2026 08:58 PM (VyBeY)

311 the ONLY downside? he and Jim Carreys weirder looking brother are going to vote with the dems on everything til out of office.
Posted by: zigggggy at May 26, 2026 08:53

Which was the argument given as to why we shouldn’t vote them out by the GOPe acolytes. Without any sense of how ridiculous that sounds. You can never vote out the people who don’t vote the way you want, constituents, or they will vote against your best interests even harder!

Posted by: Piper at May 26, 2026 08:58 PM (d2kuJ)

312 ShainS @278, that would be fantastic. And even though Trump is the president most likely in history to do it, nah, we won't be that lucky. I did love the dinner with Mitt in NYC though, that was hilarious.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:58 PM (U/Byj)

313 Don't take Ossuary if you're allergic to Ossuary.

Posted by: Big Fat Pharma at May 26, 2026 08:58 PM (2Ez/1)

314 No talley from Travis Co. They are waiting to see how many ballots they can stuff.

A Buick won't cut it at this point. They'll need to bring in a supertanker full of fake ballots.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 08:58 PM (Riz8t)

315 @309, Damn! that's good !

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (GD0B3)

316 Evenin’, All.

Also, 302, Google images of Madeline Smith. You will not be disappointed.

Posted by: Bulg at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (77rzZ)

317 Travis numbers in: Cornyn 54% to 46%

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (PiwSw)

318 The reason the Bush family machine hates Paxton so much is because he bounced Jeb’s son, George P, out of politics for good.
Posted by: Tom Servo

Wasn't hard. Barely a piffle. Nepo babies can't fight.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (2PamV)

319
For you non-Texas folks: the Railroad Commission has nothing to do with railroads.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (HdYcL)

320 Hawaiian Judge declares Cornyn the winner..........

Posted by: CNN Breaking News at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (xl8DV)

321 They probably nipped it in the bud figuring his next act was to enter the chambers in a loin cloth.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (snZF9)

----------

lol

Can we haz vines hanging from the House Chamber rafters next year just in case?

/dat's raciss

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (OLFlC)

322 At least we got a scalp [from Massie].
Posted by: Methos at May 26, 2026 08:57 PM (vSvIl)

A foreskin.

Posted by: from a philistine at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (gKWVE)

323 So has CNN or MS Cow lost their minds more tonight? I can only hope Tater is spinning up some lies and BS. I am going to guess Cornyn has a job lined up with a network or perhaps The View. He'd fit right in.

Posted by: turambar at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (Q0yOR)

324 EyePatch didn't make it to the run offs did he?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:00 PM (ZwdAr)

325 Metallica. "El Paso". Live:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_BeILaosm8
Posted by: Duncanthrax

Excuse me if I’m still partial to Marty Robbins:

https://ziply.pk/FHgxk5

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 26, 2026 09:00 PM (ZVgZ4)

326 I mean, I'm with you all the way through flaming rino skull, I can clearly picture it, but it's the cuck skull. I can even see a flaming cuck, or a cuck rino, or a flaming cuck rino. Basically a rino, on fire, and he's sitting over in a chair in the corner of a hotel room. Watching. No problem there either.

But it's the cuck skull where I'm losing it. I guess I'd need to workshop the cuck skull's motivation. Why is he there? As a skull and as a cuck. I think once I can break through the cuck skull part the rest will be easy for me.

Posted by: banana Dream at May 26, 2026 09:00 PM (3uBP9)

327 Time to watch the Avalanche and their auto de fe

Posted by: Don Black at May 26, 2026 09:00 PM (ZxPkt)

328 319
For you non-Texas folks: the Railroad Commission has nothing to do with railroads.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (HdYcL)

Has no one thought to rename the office to what they do actually do?

Posted by: Nova Local at May 26, 2026 09:00 PM (tOcjL)

329 291 280 On RINO radio this morning, Griff Jenkins subbing on the Brian Kilmeade show had on, as back-to-back guests, Karl Rove and John Cornyn, both shitting on Paxton and receiving free tongue-bath in-kind election donations. Sickening! I hate-listen to Kilmeade for his brand of """conservatism.""""

Posted by: uncle miltie f. at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (aVOy
_________________________

LMAO...just a day before Massie has his posterior handed to him, Rove was out there saying that the results of that election will show Trump where the real republicans are right now. Two days later, Rove was saying that Massies comments on Israel were borderline antisemitic. In reference to Cornyn, he didn't say much of anything other than Trump's endorsement of Paxton might hurt Paxton more than Cornyn. And, Cornyn is still getting support from Rick Perry and Phil Graham... There are very obviously two GOP's in Texas....the Bush, Rove, Cornyn, Perry primadonnas....and the other ones.

Posted by: Orson at May 26, 2026 09:00 PM (dIske)

330 @GregAbbott_TX
·
9m
Congratulations Ken Paxton on the resounding victory.

Next, he will destroy Talarico and become the next US Senator from the state of Texas.

Posted by: Methos at May 26, 2026 09:01 PM (vSvIl)

331 Travis numbers in: Cornyn 54% to 46%
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (PiwSw)

Not enough.

Posted by: Dr. T at May 26, 2026 09:01 PM (jGGMD)

332 OK, it's official and in red.

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:01 PM (GD0B3)

333 California IN SHOCK As $5B Blue Diamond CEO Calls California 'Too Costly' To Stay

A decision made inside one of California’s most recognizable agricultural companies has sparked a debate far larger than the closure of a single factory.

For more than a century, a cooperative built by a handful of almond growers helped transform California into the center of the global almond industry, creating generations of jobs, pioneering manufacturing technologies, and exporting products around the world.

Now, the announcement that its historic Sacramento facility will shut down has ignited questions about rising operating costs, business competitiveness, taxation, regulation, and whether California can continue retaining the companies that helped build its economy.

Supporters argue the move is a necessary business decision driven by efficiency, while critics see it as another warning sign in a growing pattern of corporate departures and economic strain.

On top of Starfucks bailing on Seattle.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:01 PM (2PamV)

334 EyePatch didn't make it to the run offs did he?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:00 PM (ZwdAr)

He didn't.

Posted by: Vendette at May 26, 2026 09:01 PM (PrsTH)

335 Earlier today after Ace's horrific jump scare of DWS, Banana Dream I think it was suggested a slightly better picture of a statue.

Lady Victory riding an eagle with a great rack and a pair of 50 cals.

I generated this statue image: https://ibb.co/TDv5G7hG

Posted by: SimoHayha at May 26, 2026 09:01 PM (/ZkOF)

336 Definitely believe the polls in Maine, though.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:01 PM (46HP8)

337 The auto-da-fé, what's the auto-da-fé?

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 09:02 PM (gKWVE)

338 Maybe after cornhole flames out we might get a whole medieval ossuary.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:55 PM (snZF9)

I want a 28 Years Later ossuary - the only good part of that dogshit movie.

Posted by: SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE at May 26, 2026 09:02 PM (TbWk/)

339
Has no one thought to rename the office to what they do actually do?

Posted by: Nova Local at May 26, 2026 09:00 PM (tOcjL)

___________

Why? It's quaint.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:02 PM (HdYcL)

340 NBC: Paxton is "absolutely trouncing" Cornyn.

NOTE TO GOPers; Citizens of these United States are fed up.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:02 PM (ZwdAr)

341 For you non-Texas folks: the Railroad Commission has nothing to do with railroads.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (HdYcL)

Has no one thought to rename the office to what they do actually do?
Posted by: Nova Local

Ixnay on the namingnay.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:02 PM (2PamV)

342 Paxton declared the Winner ................

Ken Paxton wins. AP race call at 6 p.m. on May 26, 2026.

Ken Paxton --> GOP 503,591 62.5%

John Cornyn* --> GOP 302,278 37.5%

Posted by: Jackson K. at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (xl8DV)

343 No talley from Travis Co. They are waiting to see how many ballots they can stuff.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (ZwdAr)

Oilcan Harry's in Austin. A lot of sausage got stuffed there back in the day.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (Xdfhw)

344 >>> Cornyn would have to win 80% of the outstanding vote. That's not going to happen, obviously...

Unless somebody simply pencils in the desired results.

Used to be literally common in certain cities until this 'electronic voting' in lieu of manual tabulations. Then they had to find new ways to cheat... Whoa and Behold - there are even more ways to cheat with all electronic (digital) systems!

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (/lPRQ)

345 >>> Lady Victory riding an eagle with a great rack and a pair of 50 cals.

I generated this statue image: https://ibb.co/TDv5G7hG
Posted by: SimoHayha at May 26, 2026 09:01 PM (/ZkOF)

Oh that's nice, and very classy.

Posted by: banana Dream at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (3uBP9)

346
Ken Paxton
GOP
503,591 62.5%
John Cornyn*
GOP
302,278 37.5%

AMF

Posted by: r hennigantx at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (/+uur)

347 ShainS @278, that would be fantastic. And even though Trump is the president most likely in history to do it, nah, we won't be that lucky. I did love the dinner with Mitt in NYC though, that was hilarious.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 26, 2026 08:58 PM (U/Byj)

---------------

[At the risk of pissing off and disrespecting our LDS brethren here:]

After that happened, there was a post about it here with a photo of Mitt walking away from Trump and Trump literally grabbing his own crotch.

I couldn't help myself (and I have many LDS friends I grew up with in high school in Las Vegas) and commented:

"Caption Contest! 'Hey Mitt, I've got your magic underwear right here!'"

/I denounce myself a second time ...

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (OLFlC)

348 The auto-da-fé, what's the auto-da-fé?
Posted by: gKWVE

The fais-do-do.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (2PamV)

349 I’m just happy my phone isn’t jammed up with messages now. Both the Lobbyist and the Grifter talking about how CONSERVATIVE they are (neither are, I voted Sell with no enthusiasm) and both Roy and French are shrieking about evil Muslims (and Enriquez started doing that; he blamed the presence of data centers for the appearance of evil Muslims in an interview).

Above all Cornyn is being told to stay home. In DC.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (T6aVk)

350 No talley from Travis Co. They are waiting to see how many ballots they can stuff.

Could be that but don't discount the possibility that the Travis County election commission is genuinely and sincerely a bunch of incompetent f*cknuts.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (vTZFs)

351
NOTE TO GOPers; Citizens of these United States are fed up.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.

___________

"The Old Guard may die, but never surrender!"

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:04 PM (HdYcL)

352 The Deplorables were angry that day, my friend.

Posted by: George Costanza at May 26, 2026 09:04 PM (PiwSw)

353 Trump's endorsement is the "KISS OF DEATH"

Paxton Wins Big -------- NEVERMIND !!!!!!!!

Posted by: Jackson K. at May 26, 2026 09:04 PM (xl8DV)

354 NOTE TO GOPers; Citizens of these United States are fed up.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.

P.S. Extract your head from your ass or you're next.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 09:04 PM (Riz8t)

355 "Cornyn's only message was...'vote for me or...'" FEAR. The final refuge of the scumbag facing his political extinction.

Posted by: Ordinary American at May 26, 2026 09:04 PM (fZiTB)

356 good work, Simo!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 26, 2026 09:04 PM (VyBeY)

357 The auto-da-fé, what's the auto-da-fé?
Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 09:02 PM (gKWVE)

Its what you oughtna do but you do anyway!

Posted by: Torquemada at May 26, 2026 09:04 PM (zZu0s)

358 lol

Can we haz vines hanging from the House Chamber rafters next year just in case?

/dat's raciss

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (OLFlC)

Not exactly where i was going with that. He was screaming about not being an ape or some shit, so I figured his next thing was to dress up like Grog from the B.C. comic strip.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 09:04 PM (snZF9)

359 AP has called it for Paxton.

But why would we believe AP?

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 09:05 PM (2Ez/1)

360 Just called - Roy lost...

Texas Attorney General Republican Runoff
County Results
Last Updated: May 26, 2026, 9:04 PM
62% est. reporting

Candidates Party Votes Pct.
Mayes Middleton
GOP 449,068 55.9%
Chip Roy
GOP 353,765 44.1%
Total 802,833
* Incumbent

Election Date: 5/26/2026

Posted by: Nova Local at May 26, 2026 09:05 PM (tOcjL)

361 We got a red banner.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 09:05 PM (zZu0s)

362 Elon Musk unfollowed that Iranian stooge and "influencer" Mario Nawfal. One too many intellectual property thefts and lies, I guess.

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:05 PM (GD0B3)

363 Did my part in helping show Cornyn the door. Voted for Roy over Middleton solely based on him being an actual practicing lawyer, which is kinda important for that office. I voted for French over Wright because I liked the cut of his job. I voted for Smith over Fox because government is too feminized already.

Posted by: goozer at May 26, 2026 09:05 PM (BAs8w)

364 good work, Simo!
Posted by: sock_rat_eez

Who did Hayha shoot now?

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:05 PM (2PamV)

365 Somewhere, Murkowski and Collins are chugging bottles of Barefoot wine.

Posted by: Dr. T at May 26, 2026 09:05 PM (jGGMD)

366 I drove a mile out of my way to vote against Cornyn.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (Xdfhw)

367 O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Al Green got primaried out!

I just found out that redistricting put that knuckle-dragging loudmouth clown up against fellow incumbent Christian Menefee, who won the special election for TX-18 in January. Green's TX-9 got combined with it, and Menefee stomped him with crypto industry PAC support (for some reason).

I know nothing about the winner, who will almost certainly walk away with it in November, but I was So. Tired. of Green's histrionic antics. I'm going to go for a walk, look at all the little ducklings in the retaining pond, and just cherish this moment.

Posted by: SciVo at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (Sy6m/)

368 Cornyn outspent Paxton nine-to-one. Over $100 Million bucks. LOL

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (X+xvk)

369 I think we might need a branding iron for this one. Cornyn's forehead is big enough for a full paragraph.

Posted by: Orson at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (dIske)

370 Somebody named a car after actress Fay Bainter?

Posted by: Bulg at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (77rzZ)

371 Harris County
65
35

If (R) just show up we could rid (D) from our county.
Be gone scum, scallywag, ne'er do well, asshole, asswipes, assfuckers, and cocksuckers.

Posted by: r hennigantx at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (/+uur)

372
I generated this statue image: https://ibb.co/TDv5G7hG
Posted by: SimoHayha at May 26, 2026 09:01 PM (/ZkOF)

__________

Very nice, but the eagle needs a writhing Liz Warren underneath its claw.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (HdYcL)

373 Fox just reported Trump is 9 for 9 for Senate endorsements.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (3ImbR)

374 >>> Lady Victory riding an eagle with a great rack and a pair of 50 cals.

I generated this statue image: https://ibb.co/TDv5G7hG
Posted by: SimoHayha at May 26, 2026 09:01 PM (/ZkOF)

Oh that's nice, and very classy.
Posted by: banana Dream at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (3uBP9)

-------------

Nice; could be named Alex The Chick?

Wifey figures she's left-handed as both the Left Gun and Boob are bigger ...

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (OLFlC)

375 Iowa's governor didn't run for reelection, either. We're a Red state, but the voters aren't happy, so the Dems have gone all in trying to replace them. They may have a shot for Governor, and a rep or two.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (ycI94)

For my entire life (yes, I've been politically aware since I could talk), the Iowa GOP has been useless for conservatives. They are the reason why I don't want the 17th Amendment repealed. Because I live in an area that the Iowa GOP doesn't want to admit exists: the extremely conservative western third of the state. Randy Feenstra, our congressman, is running for governor, but I want him in DC, not Des Moines.

Posted by: one of pookysgirl's first words was "Reagan" at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (Wt5PA)

376 Maybe after cornhole flames out we might get a whole medieval ossuary.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 08:55 PM (snZF9)

That would be glorious!

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 26, 2026 09:07 PM (zYpTz)

377 Remember John,

Big boys don't cry.
Big boys don't cry.

Posted by: 10cc at May 26, 2026 09:07 PM (wVcYX)

378 see 335, rickb

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 26, 2026 09:07 PM (VyBeY)

379 . I voted for Smith over Fox because government is too feminized already.

Posted by: goozer at May 26, 2026 09:05 PM (BAs8w)

I knew nothing about that one. I almost skipped. But I voted for the man. Women Republicans are usually disappointing

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:08 PM (Xdfhw)

380 Chip Roy. Hmm. He was...something. I always saw him on TV or spewing some great soundbite but he...what did he ever really do? I feel the same about Jim Jordan.

Posted by: turambar at May 26, 2026 09:08 PM (Q0yOR)

381 Fox just reported Trump is 9 for 9 for Senate endorsements.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (3ImbR)

------------

1/4" away from being assassinated in 2024.

Praise The Hand of God ...

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:08 PM (OLFlC)

382 I think we might need a branding iron for this one. Cornyn's forehead is big enough for a full paragraph.

L, for Lah-Hoo-Ser!

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 09:08 PM (Riz8t)

383 368 Cornyn outspent Paxton nine-to-one. Over $100 Million bucks. LOL
Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (X+xvk)

The (R) Senate spent $100 M to keep John Wayne Hat Waering McCornholeyn.

Shows how much they hate you.

Posted by: r hennigantx at May 26, 2026 09:08 PM (/+uur)

384 see 335, rickb
Posted by: sock_rat_eez

Ahhhhh 👍🏻

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM (2PamV)

385 Cornyn outspent Paxton nine to one?

That's actually inspiring. I'm doubly inspired by the victory.

Posted by: Ordinary American at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM (fZiTB)

386 Adding up all the primaries, general elections, and this runoff totals 10 times I've voted against cornhole. Persistence pays off.

Posted by: These fish sticks are hard as tits at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM (rPIr5)

387 Republicans
Too early to call

Candidate ... - - ... Votes ... Percentage

Mayes Middleton ... 449,075 ... 56.0%

Chip (dickhead) Roy . 352,646 .. 44.0%

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM (ZwdAr)

388 Way to go, TEXAS!

you give me hope!

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM (A5RD0)

389 No talley from Travis Co. They are waiting to see how many ballots they can stuff.

Could be that but don't discount the possibility that the Travis County election commission is genuinely and sincerely a bunch of incompetent f*cknuts.
Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM (vTZFs)

Texas is open primary but not enough Dems crossover in Travis county to make a difference.

Posted by: polynikes at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM (MyyMo)

390 Talarico says Jesus helped him come to terms with his whiteness and his masculinity. I think Talarico doesn’t have to worry about his masculinity.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM (ZVgZ4)

391 Paxton heartily deserves this. He's a warrior with the wounds to prove it.

Posted by: Ordinary American at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM (fZiTB)

392 Over $100 Million bucks. LOL

I hope the consultants donated all that cash to young single moms just trying to get through college.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM (gKWVE)

393 Cornyn outspent Paxton nine-to-one. Over $100 Million bucks. LOL

Great call there, RNC and Mitch/Thune. Way to spend our money intelligently.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 09:10 PM (Riz8t)

394 The (R) Senate spent $100 M to keep John Wayne Hat Waering McCornholeyn.

Shows how much they hate you.

Posted by: r hennigantx at May 26, 2026 09:08 PM (/+uur)

They can eat a Cornholio with some Hormel Chili and a sad trombone.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:10 PM (Xdfhw)

395 >>Fox just reported Trump is 9 for 9 for Senate endorsements.

The Trump cult appears to be growing.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 26, 2026 09:10 PM (viF8m)

396 Now, if you could figure out out how to not be a bunch of pussies when the power goes out….

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 26, 2026 09:10 PM (A5RD0)

397 The (R) Senate spent $100 M to keep John Wayne Hat Waering McCornholeyn.

Shows how much they hate you.

Posted by: r hennigantx

****************

Yes, it does.

The feeling is mutual.

Eat a bag of diseased donkey dicks, John Thune.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 09:10 PM (X+xvk)

398 They can eat a Cornholio with some Hormel Chili and a ~~sad~~ rusty trombone.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:10 PM (Xdfhw)

FTFY

Posted by: Urban Dictionary edition at May 26, 2026 09:11 PM (TbWk/)

399 Now I have Big Girls don't Cry in my head.

Fucking four seasons.

https://youtu.be/zRZpaxBMJRU?
si=ZBCeO7eSm0pavmPs

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 09:11 PM (zZu0s)

400 AP has called it for Paxton.

But why would we believe AP?
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 09:05 PM (2Ez/1)

I'll wait for BP to call it, because they're closer to the heartbeat of the nation. I'll ignore AQ though; they're always behind.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 26, 2026 09:11 PM (qx7Zg)

401 If Mitch McConnell was aware, he would be really angry about this. lol.

Posted by: Piper at May 26, 2026 09:11 PM (BgmlQ)

402 319
For you non-Texas folks: the Railroad Commission has nothing to do with railroads.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:59 PM (HdYcL)

What is it, actually?

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (zYpTz)

403 323 So has CNN or MS Cow lost their minds more tonight? I can only hope Tater is spinning up some lies and BS. I am going to guess Cornyn has a job lined up with a network or perhaps The View. He'd fit right in.
Posted by: turambar

I was hoping The Bulwark would have some savory salt to mine, but they're kind of celebrating? They think Cornyn sold out his principles to be a Trump today, so he deserves to lose and expose the deep rift/civil war in the Republican party, or something.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (ycI94)

404 The Trump cult appears to be growing.
Posted by: JackStraw at May 26, 2026 09:10 PM (viF8m)
~~~~~

Imagine how well we could be doing if only he was popular.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (3ImbR)

405 So the left's take is amusing.

Obviously Paxton is corrupt because the GOP went after him.

However every time the GOP went after a Democrat it was obviously because they didn't like that person's ideology.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (sKqQm)

406 Ken Paxton --> GOP 503,591 62.5%

John Cornyn* --> GOP 302,278 37.5%
Posted by: Jackson K. at May 26, 2026 09:03 PM

25 points, hahahaha.

Where is your precious power now, GOP?

Oh yeah it's all Trump's now.

Bow and scrape for your new master. Pretend he's a Democrat if that helps with your groveling game.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (BI5O2)

407 Cornhole got pigeon holed. Very Nice.

Now all Paxton has to do is not get the idea in his head he is entitled to that Senate seat, that he represents the Texas and the USA and not the Senate and Europe, and that he is at war with the Democrats and the fake Republicans that are Democrats in drag.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My president has convictions at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (glnUu)

408 >>> Now I have Big Girls don't Cry in my head.
Fucking four seasons.

I heard Let's Hang On (maybe Opus 17?) the other day.

Posted by: confused ace doesn't know basic words at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (1wjle)

409 I got a gut feeling he is going to go out in a blaze of glory and switch to democrat just to fvck Trump over, because he is done in Texas as a republican politician.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at May 26, 2026 08:41 PM (0N4FZ)

I suspect not. He's an ass who forgot what he was sent to DC to do but I don't believe that he's actually dishonorable. Further, it would blow up any remaining ties his family has in Texas. That'd be an awful lot over a bit of pique.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (ExV1e)

410 Texas Railroad commission office actually has to do with gas and oil and mineral rights.

Posted by: lin-duh in Texas at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (VCgbV)

411 396 Now, if you could figure out out how to not be a bunch of pussies when the power goes out….
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 26, 2026 09:10 PM (A5RD0)

Don’t look at rural Texas! The cities have the wimps. We in the PANHANDLE did fine in 2021.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (T6aVk)

412 Oh no Opus 17 is another song.

Posted by: confused ace doesn't know basic words at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (1wjle)

413 399 Now I have Big Girls don't Cry in my head.

I can help with that.

Posted by: Rick Astley at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (PiwSw)

414
What is it, actually?

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (zYpTz)

_____________

Regulates oil, gas and mining in the state.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (HdYcL)

415 opus 17 = Don't you worry 'bout me

Posted by: confused ace doesn't know basic words at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (1wjle)

416 Well, this seems appropriate.

Physicians At Walter Reed Confirm Trump's Midi-Chlorian Count Is Off The Charts

-
From the Bee.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (ndZc7)

417 385 Cornyn outspent Paxton nine to one?

That's actually inspiring. I'm doubly inspired by the victory.
Posted by: Ordinary American
---

DC money, Uniparty money, Bush money.
Paxton ran on his record.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (ZwdAr)

418 284
Al Green makes Henry Waxman look handsome.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (HdYcL)

lol...no....wolfman black is fugly , but not that fugly

Posted by: zigggggy at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (EDeJ/)

419 410 Texas Railroad commission office actually has to do with gas and oil and mineral rights.
Posted by: lin-duh in Texas at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (VCgbV)

And fighting EVIL MUSLIMS!!!

Posted by: Bo French at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (T6aVk)

420 If Mitch McConnell was aware, he would be really angry about this. lol.

Posted by: Piper

Nice. Uncharacteristically cruel for you. Ace, Victor Davis Hansen, and I approve.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:14 PM (vTZFs)

421 Now I have Big Girls don't Cry in my head.

Fucking four seasons.

https://youtu.be/zRZpaxBMJRU?
si=ZBCeO7eSm0pavmPs

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 09:11 PM (zZu0s)

I almost didn't exist because of that band.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 09:14 PM (snZF9)

422 Regulates oil, gas and mining in the state.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (HdYcL)

huh, then what does oil and gas commission regulate ? Brisket ??

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:14 PM (GD0B3)

423 So the left's take is amusing.

Obviously Paxton is corrupt because the GOP went after him.

However every time the GOP went after a Democrat it was obviously because they didn't like that person's ideology.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (sKqQm)

--------------

Just like the #FakeNews and #FakeInvestigations against Trump backfired on the Commie Idiots.

The only thing American's hate more than a loser (h/t Patton) is an underdog done wrong ...

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:15 PM (OLFlC)

424 $100m they flushed down this loser?

LOL.

That's a LOT of money Thune can't spend on other cucks.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 09:15 PM (BI5O2)

425 THANK YOU TO THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS!

Posted by: DangerGirl at May 26, 2026 09:15 PM (yjPLJ)

426 AP has called it for Paxton.

But why would we believe AP?
Posted by: Quarter Twenty

Will Fox do a reverse 2020 and call the race next week?

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 26, 2026 09:15 PM (ycI94)

427 Please clap.

Posted by: connected and litigious at May 26, 2026 09:16 PM (cS1cw)

428 I looked up the 2014 primary (2020 was a president year) and it was:

Coryn: 781K
Stockman: 252K

Posted by: 18-1 at May 26, 2026 09:16 PM (sKqQm)

429 Blue Diamond leaves the almond business.

Posted by: Accomack at May 26, 2026 09:16 PM (I1/uy)

430 Maybe Coryn can now quietly retire to spend time with family and perhaps learn the art of bonsai trees.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:16 PM (2GVsD)

431 Al Green makes Henry Waxman look handsome.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 08:53 PM (HdYcL)

lol...no....wolfman black is fugly , but not that fugly

Posted by: zigggggy at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (EDeJ/)

Yeah waxman looks like a bleached version of red skull.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (snZF9)

432 420 He'd be beeping mad a la Pike.

Posted by: turambar at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (Q0yOR)

433 huh, then what does oil and gas commission regulate ? Brisket ??

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:14 PM (GD0B3)

-------------

And the Brisket Commission regulates Kolaces.

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (OLFlC)

434 Cornhole got pigeon holed. Very Nice.

Now all Paxton has to do is not get the idea in his head he is entitled to that Senate seat, that he represents the Texas and the USA and not the Senate and Europe, and that he is at war with the Democrats and the fake Republicans that are Democrats in drag.
Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My president has convictions at May 26, 2026 09:12 PM (glnUu)

Your comment triggered this scene in my head:

Paxton arrives in D.C. for his swearing-in. Disdainful of Thune, Paxton-Zhukov bellows, "Right, what's an election hero got to do to get some lubrication around here?"

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (wVcYX)

435 $100 million here, 4$0 million on the failed VA gerrymandering

Soon we are talking real money

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (2GVsD)

436 Well, this seems appropriate.

Physicians At Walter Reed Confirm Trump's Midi-Chlorian Count Is Off The Charts

-
From the Bee.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (ndZc7)

Yes, but will the Jedi Council begin training him at his age?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (qx7Zg)

437 430 Maybe Coryn can now quietly retire to spend time with family and perhaps learn the art of bonsai trees.
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:16 PM
---------

I'm really enjoying spending time with my private sector!

Posted by: Pam Blondi at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (2Ez/1)

438 *Puts on hat*
*Congratulates Ken Paxton via telegram*

Posted by: Perry the Platypus at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (+0Wk3)

439 423 Just like the #FakeNews and #FakeInvestigations against Trump backfired on the Commie Idiots.

The only thing American's hate more than a loser (h/t Patton) is an underdog done wrong ...
Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:1

====

This is why you don't do impeachment unless you can convict.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (46HP8)

440 I wonder if Thune has gotten the message yet.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (6ydKt)

441 Republicans
Too early to call
Candidate ... - - ... Votes ... Percentage
Mayes Middleton ... 449,075 ... 56.0%
Chip (dickhead) Roy . 352,646 .. 44.0%
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM (ZwdAr)
~~~~~

Wow, if that holds.
I thought Chip Roy would win just due to name recognition.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at May 26, 2026 09:18 PM (3ImbR)

442 Wow! Cornyn got beat like a rented government Mule.

What an asshole

Posted by: Common Tater at May 26, 2026 09:18 PM (IDQSL)

443 I live in Al Green's district. Bad as Al Green is, Menefee is horrendous. Basically a Seattle level Communist.

Posted by: An Observation sez Trump is my President at May 26, 2026 09:18 PM (Da7Vv)

444 Somebody (maybe TJM) pointed out also that Cornhole spent a hell of a lot more money trying to buy the seat than Paxton did IIRC.

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:18 PM (OLFlC)

445 >>>Now all Paxton has to do is not get the idea in his head he is entitled to that Senate seat, that he represents the Texas and the USA and not the Senate and Europe, and that he is at war with the Democrats and the fake Republicans that are Democrats in drag.
Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My president has convictions
---

Hopefully, his record as a prosecutor will ride as part of him while in the senate. I look forward to him being a great disruptor in alliance with Trump.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:18 PM (ZwdAr)

446 All the Cornyn ads just made me dislike the guy even more than ever before.

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at May 26, 2026 09:18 PM (XMwZJ)

447 'Pretend he's a Democrat if that helps with your groveling game.'

Harsh but fair.

Posted by: connected and litigious at May 26, 2026 09:18 PM (cS1cw)

448 But why would we believe AP?
Posted by: Quarter Twenty

Because Paxton is nearing two-thirds of the vote with over half of it in.

Posted by: Methos at May 26, 2026 09:18 PM (vSvIl)

449 I wonder if Thune has gotten the message yet.

Hand puppets. The answer is hand puppets.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (2GVsD)

450 429 Blue Diamond leaves the almond business.
Posted by: Accomack at May 26, 2026 09:16 PM (I1/uy)

No it isn't. It's closing one of its plants because it's 115 years old. Don't be like a redditard.

Posted by: Stop it. Get some help. at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (TbWk/)

451 this is fun!

now how do we get rid of Thune

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (j+aD2)

452 >>> Somewhere, Murkowski and Collins are chugging bottles of Barefoot wine.
Posted by: Dr. T at May 26, 2026 09:05 PM (jGGMD)

======

Is that better than pickle tink *hic*, I mean tickle pink?

Posted by: The 80's at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (CyFyf)

453 What is the over/under in years for Paxton to morph into McConnell/Thune/Cornyn Washington Republican?

Posted by: Ted Torgerson at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (R86kT)

454 I wonder if Thune has gotten the message yet.

==

Signs point to.."NO"

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (GD0B3)

455 I can see Cornyn looking in the mirror after his trouncing and saying " am I that bad?" And then he would respond " no, the voters just don't understand"

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (hpwtA)

456 449 I wonder if Thune has gotten the message yet.

Hand puppets. The answer is hand puppets.

Agree Agree Agree!

(and models)

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (j+aD2)

457 Concession speech done.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 09:20 PM (2Ez/1)

458 440 I wonder if Thune has gotten the message yet.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (6ydKt)

I say no.

Posted by: Ordinary American at May 26, 2026 09:20 PM (fZiTB)

459 Regulates oil, gas and mining in the state.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (HdYcL)

Thank you!

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 26, 2026 09:20 PM (zYpTz)

460 Yes, but will the Jedi Council begin training him at his age?
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (qx7Zg)

He is too old. Yes. Too old to begin the training.

Posted by: Yoda - roughly 895 years old at May 26, 2026 09:20 PM (TbWk/)

461 I live in Al Green's district. Bad as Al Green is, Menefee is horrendous. Basically a Seattle level Communist.

Posted by: An Observation sez Trump is my President at May 26, 2026 09:18 PM (Da7Vv)

-------------

Demand a boycott of and relocation by "Exxon Mobil" and "Texas Instruments?"

/only half-joking

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (OLFlC)

462
And the Brisket Commission regulates Kolaces.

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (OLFlC)

___________

I wish someone would regulate kolaches. Kolaches must use soft, sweet bread, not that flaky stuff.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (HdYcL)

463 Concession speech?

Did he commit seppuku?

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (2GVsD)

464
How many senators does it take to vote yes on impeachment? 67?

Posted by: Auspex at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (Y8DZL)

465 Hand puppets. The answer is hand puppets.
Posted by: Anna Puma

I think a Gallagher watermelon smash might work.

Posted by: She Hobbit at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (ftFVW)

466 Wow! Cornyn got beat like a rented government Mule.
Posted by: Common Tater

You asked for it!

https://youtu.be/IYeTCRuHrS4

Posted by: mikeski at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (VHUov)

467 456 449 I wonder if Thune has gotten the message yet.

Hand puppets. The answer is hand puppets.

Agree Agree Agree!

(and models)
Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (j+aD2)

Old school Flannelgraph.

Posted by: OG Sunday School at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (TbWk/)

468 453 What is the over/under in years for Paxton to morph into McConnell/Thune/Cornyn Washington Republican?
Posted by: Ted Torgerson at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (R86kT)

No, not Paxton.

Posted by: Ordinary American at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (fZiTB)

469 I can see Cornyn looking in the mirror after his trouncing and saying " am I that bad?" And then he would respond " no, the voters just don't understand"
Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (hpwtA)

I would vote for me. I would vote for me so hard!

Posted by: John Buffalo Bill Cornyn at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (wVcYX)

470 @452 -- yep, exactly.

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (XMwZJ)

471 381 Fox just reported Trump is 9 for 9 for Senate endorsements.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at May 26, 2026 09:06 PM (3ImbR)

------------

1/4" away from being assassinated in 2024.

Praise The Hand of God ...
Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:08 PM (OLFlC)
And all GOD's people say Amen!

Posted by: Eromero at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (LHPAg)

472 THANK YOU TO THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS!

Posted by: DangerGirl at May 26, 2026 09:15 PM (yjPLJ)

*Curtseys and waves because I took the time to vote for Paxton against Cornholio*

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (Xdfhw)

473 this is fun!

now how do we get rid of Thune

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (j+aD2)

I'm good with everything from voting on up to a MOAB.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (snZF9)

474 Henry Waxman looked like a gopher

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (hpwtA)

475 Don’t worry, John. Think of the airfare you will save never having to fly to Texas again. You can just stay in DC now like you always wanted.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (T6aVk)

476 456 449 I wonder if Thune has gotten the message yet.

Hand puppets. The answer is hand puppets.

Agree Agree Agree!

(and models)
Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (j+aD2)

Old school Flannelgraph.
Posted by: OG Sunday School at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (TbWk/)

Gotta have giant papier mache heads somewhere in the mix.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (wVcYX)

477 463 Concession speech?

Did he commit seppuku?
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM
######

He read The Man In The Arena quote from Teddy R.
So there's that.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (2Ez/1)

478 Posted by: Perry the Platypus

You rarely see Master-of-Disguise competence in egg-laying mammals.

Posted by: Kratwurst at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (9gKa/)

479 How many more do we have to take down before they get the message? I'm thinking a majority. They just think they are better than us.

Posted by: DangerGirl at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (yjPLJ)

480 Concession speech done.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 09:20 PM (2Ez/1)

Well, I don't think Vornyn has the street cred to go with "Paxton is a secret Jew and Trump is his Shabbos goy" like Massie, so who did he blame?

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (BI5O2)

481 Dear God, please send Chip Roy to the flaming tire dump in Pasadena.

Posted by: An Observation sez Trump is my President at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (Da7Vv)

482 Henry Waxman was the Phantom of the Opera with a bad makeup job.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (2GVsD)

483 Concession speech done.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 09:20 PM (2Ez/1)

-------------

"Get Yo' Lemonade Here! Le-mo-nade like Gramma Cornyn Made!"

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (OLFlC)

484
...Maalox moment... oh God...

Posted by: John Cornyn in Intestinal Distress at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (azNOR)

485 464
How many senators does it take to vote yes on impeachment? 67?
Posted by: Auspex at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (Y8DZL)

/===

In the US Congress, yes, its two thirds to convict.

Failed impeachment makes the target stronger. Every time.

You need 2/3 to have the effect.

Not even Andrew Johnson got to 2/3 in the Senate and everyone hated that guy.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (46HP8)

486 THANK YOU TO THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS!

Posted by: DangerGirl at May 26, 2026 09:15 PM (yjPLJ)

*Curtseys and waves because I took the time to vote for Paxton against Cornholio*
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary
----
We miss you in Texas DangerGirl!!

Posted by: lin-duh in Texas at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (VCgbV)

487 453 What is the over/under in years for Paxton to morph into McConnell/Thune/Cornyn Washington Republican?
Posted by: Ted Torgerson at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (R86kT)

It’s different for everyone. But yeah, if you stay too long it gets addictive.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (T6aVk)

488 385 Cornyn outspent Paxton nine to one?

That's actually inspiring. I'm doubly inspired by the victory.
Posted by: Ordinary American at May 26, 2026 09:09 PM

The only thing I remember from when I took Intro to PoliSci in college was that a candidate's spending is a reliable indicator of how well his opponent is doing.

Of course, that assumes that they have the money to spend.

Posted by: Cybersmythe at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (VmDLh)

489 Sorry, had other stuff to do. Did Cornyn eat the bag of dicks yet?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (ZOv7s)

490 I wish someone would regulate kolaches. Kolaches must use soft, sweet bread, not that flaky stuff.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (HdYcL)

The Czech Stop in West does not take out of town checks. That seems prejudiced and wrong

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (Xdfhw)

491 For those of you keeping score at home, I'm still not sick of al the winning.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (2Ez/1)

492 I voted for Smith over Fox because government is too feminized already.

Wife voted today specifically for this race. She said that she read something Fox had said and the woman was too woke to be a judge.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 09:24 PM (ExV1e)

493 *all the winning.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 09:24 PM (2Ez/1)

494 Sorry, had other stuff to do. Did Cornyn eat the bag of dicks yet?
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (ZOv7s)

We are not going to tell you !

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:24 PM (GD0B3)

495 What is the over/under in years for Paxton to morph into McConnell/Thune/Cornyn Washington Republican?
-----
No, not Paxton.

We need to make sure there's a pipeline of viable primary opponents to make it clear that he's on probationary status. Forever. Ted too.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:24 PM (vTZFs)

496 Next up: Big Mouf Bass v. Spencer Pratt, June 2

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 26, 2026 09:24 PM (ndZc7)

497 Well, I don't think Vornyn has the street cred to go with "Paxton is a secret Jew and Trump is his Shabbos goy" like Massie, so who did he blame?

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (BI5O2)

-------------

Which virile straight non-pedo white male failed to position him for success?

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:25 PM (OLFlC)

498 I vote male for the judge too.

Posted by: lin-duh in Texas at May 26, 2026 09:25 PM (VCgbV)

499 Why are slaughter houses raising prices and ordering fewer cattle?
To kill demand.
I don’t trust any major company. Big Almond uses too much water and they know water restrictions are coming.

Posted by: Accomack at May 26, 2026 09:25 PM (I1/uy)

500 Have their been any more missing Congress critters reported? We have been on a roll for a bit now. Just wondering. Has anyone seen Eric Massa? I ran across that name whilst wandering the interwebs. What a hosehead he was.

Posted by: turambar at May 26, 2026 09:25 PM (Q0yOR)

501 Sorry, had other stuff to do. Did Cornyn eat the bag of dicks yet?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (ZOv7s)

He had to eat a bag of Elgin Sausage. You can look that up.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:25 PM (Xdfhw)

502 And, Cornyn is still getting support from Rick Perry and Phil Graham... There are very obviously two GOP's in Texas....the Bush, Rove, Cornyn, Perry primadonnas....and the other ones.
Posted by: Orson at May 26, 2026
---

Phil Graham is still alive? Better call Dickey Flatt to verify that.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (ZwdAr)

503 The (R) Senate spent $100 M...

In a losing effort in a primary. Good thing that money won't be needed later in the year.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (ExV1e)

504 There’s a place in Houston of all places, not too far from the stadium that has outstanding kolaches. Can’t remember the name though.

Posted by: Marcus T at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (Bq1P8)

505 @490 -- Cash is king in West.

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (XMwZJ)

506 Spener Pratt just needs to read from "Ozymandias" to footage of Karen Bass standing before the Palisades area still burnt out and she is smiling like Jimmy Carter so proud of herself.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (2GVsD)

507 490 I wish someone would regulate kolaches. Kolaches must use soft, sweet bread, not that flaky stuff.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:21 PM (HdYcL)

The Czech Stop in West does not take out of town checks. That seems prejudiced and wrong
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (Xdfhw)

Kolaches have FRUIT FILLING. (Or cream cheese or poppy seed filling). NOT MEAT.

I AM ONE THIRD SLAVIC AND WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (T6aVk)

508 436 Well, this seems appropriate.

Physicians At Walter Reed Confirm Trump's Midi-Chlorian Count Is Off The Charts

-
From the Bee.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 26, 2026 09:13 PM (ndZc7)

Yes, but will the Jedi Council begin training him at his age?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 26, 2026 09:17 PM (qx7Zg)

---

Well played

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (THY4u)

509 Only the 3rd time in the past 100 years an incumbent senator representing TX has lost re-election.

Posted by: Vendette at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (PrsTH)

510 500 Have their been any more missing Congress critters reported? We have been on a roll for a bit now. Just wondering. Has anyone seen Eric Massa? I ran across that name whilst wandering the interwebs. What a hosehead he was.
Posted by: turambar at May 26, 2026 09:25 PM (Q0yOR)

====

My sister works for a congressman who was in the hospital for a month.

No news stories about it at all.

This was like 3-4 years ago.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (46HP8)

511 Counterfactual: If Thune was actually seeking to purge the GOP of useless squishes and drive midterm GOP turnout, what would he be doing differently?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (ZOv7s)

512
The Czech Stop in West does not take out of town checks. That seems prejudiced and wrong

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (Xdfhw)

____________

I stop at Kolache Factory on the way home from Mass. Two Polish Hots and a large coffee. Keeps me company on the long drive.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (HdYcL)

513 We miss you in Texas DangerGirl!!

Posted by: lin-duh in Texas at May 26, 2026 09:23 PM (VCgbV)

lin-duh I miss y'all too! Maybe one day we can drive down for a MoMee, but that is probably still a few years away.

Posted by: DangerGirl at May 26, 2026 09:27 PM (yjPLJ)

514 Is Mad Hats Frederica still missing?

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:27 PM (2GVsD)

515 Paxton should immediately be assigned to the Senate Judiciary committee...BUT, I bet Thune places him on one of the "Black Hole" committees...

Indian Affairs
Aging Committee
Small Business

Thune is going to be spiteful.

Posted by: Orson at May 26, 2026 09:27 PM (dIske)

516 The Czech Stop in West does not take out of town checks. That seems prejudiced and wrong
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary

Slovachek's on the south bound side has better brisket sammiches.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (2PamV)

517 511 Counterfactual: If Thune was actually seeking to purge the GOP of useless squishes and drive midterm GOP turnout, what would he be doing differently?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd

*************

Maybe not blow $100 Million bucks in a losing effort?

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (X+xvk)

518 In a losing effort in a primary. Good thing that money won't be needed later in the year.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (ExV1e)
---
The people who donated it don't support Trump.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (ZOv7s)

519 I AM ONE THIRD SLAVIC AND WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

I know about the no math rule and all but how does that work?

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (vTZFs)

520
Kolaches have FRUIT FILLING. (Or cream cheese or poppy seed filling). NOT MEAT.

I AM ONE THIRD SLAVIC AND WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (T6aVk)

___________

The meat ones are Klobásník

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (HdYcL)

521 He read The Man In The Arena quote from Teddy R.
So there's that.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (

TR wasn't talking about the arena where they do the donkey show, John.

And now your long, regrettable donkey show is over, and the donkeys won't be finding Paxton as friendly.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (BI5O2)

522 I didn't know until recently that voting in Australia was compulsory and subject to fines if you don't vote.

Posted by: polynikes at May 26, 2026 09:29 PM (MyyMo)

523 511 Counterfactual: If Thune was actually seeking to purge the GOP of useless squishes and drive midterm GOP turnout, what would he be doing differently?
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (ZOv7s

===

He's not that crafty.

I think he's just trying to manage an impossible situation: a popular president (in the party, at least) and arrogant senators who think they are forever and presidents are temporary but also hate the current president for assorted petty reasons.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:29 PM (46HP8)

524 James Talarico: "The American flag is such a complicated symbol for most of us."

He is correct.

Our flag evokes incredible emotions and thoughts...love of country, pride in its martial spirit, intellectual amazement that we have such a robust political structure, and many more things.

I'm sure that's what he meant.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 26, 2026 09:29 PM (iERP6)

525

Aetius,

Fucking four seasons ?

Are you rich??

Let's talk, lmao.

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (3ek7K)

526 Whatchat talking about, "not called it."

The second the polls closed, Fox called it. Immediately.

Posted by: gayle at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (qmVAA)

527 514 I have not heard any more about her. Dropped off the scope. Odd, that.

Posted by: turambar at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (Q0yOR)

528 20% of Republicans in the senate will be replaced. Mostly all suck-ups. Let that sink in. Poise possible pick-ups in states like Georgia.

After November it’s going to be e new day.

Posted by: Marcus T at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (Bq1P8)

529 Why are slaughter houses raising prices and ordering fewer cattle?
To kill demand.
I don’t trust any major company. Big Almond uses too much water and they know water restrictions are coming.
Posted by: Accomack

Almond Nut Juice is 99.9% water.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (/lPRQ)

530 Kolaches have FRUIT FILLING. (Or cream cheese or poppy seed filling). NOT MEAT.

I AM ONE THIRD SLAVIC AND WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (T6aVk)

The meat ones with a sausage seem like pigs in a blanket. Isnt that what they are? But I am a mutt random ethnicity American. It tastes good anyhow.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (Xdfhw)

531 I want November TX Republican GOTV to just smash Talerico to crumbs and make him regret leaving the house. Whom do I see about that?

I’ve spoken to a few GOP operatives in my county and gotten shrugs.

Posted by: Jack Squat Bupkis at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (jYRYu)

532 And there was much rejoicing.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (wVcYX)

533 I know about the no math rule and all but how does that work?
Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (vTZFs)

Wait til you see the breakdown on ancestry.com

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (T6aVk)

534 524 James Talarico: "The American flag is such a complicated symbol for most of us."

He is correct.

Our flag evokes incredible emotions and thoughts...love of country, pride in its martial spirit, intellectual amazement that we have such a robust political structure, and many more things.

I'm sure that's what he meant.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 26, 2026 09:29 PM (iERP6)

=====

*gags at the thought of a BBQ*
-James Talarico

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (46HP8)

535 Door #1 John Coryn
Door #2 Beat-Off O'Rourke
Door #3 Tijuana Donkey

Voter, "I'll take Door #3"

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (2GVsD)

536 He's not that crafty.

I think he's just trying to manage an impossible situation: a popular president (in the party, at least) and arrogant senators who think they are forever and presidents are temporary but also hate the current president for assorted petty reasons.
Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:29 PM (46HP

---
Maybe he's taking orders from someone else.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (ZOv7s)

537 Just how do you milk an almond, anyway?

Posted by: I gotta ask at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (2Ez/1)

538 this is fun!

now how do we get rid of Thune
Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at May 26, 2026 09:19 PM (j+aD2)

Thune won’t be up for re-election until 2028.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (ZVgZ4)

539
I AM ONE THIRD SLAVIC AND WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

I know about the no math rule and all but how does that work?

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (vTZFs)

___________

Parthenogenesis?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:31 PM (HdYcL)

540 The meat ones are Klobásník
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (HdYcL)

NO SWEARING IN FRONT OF KIDS!

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:31 PM (GD0B3)

541 >>>He's not that crafty.
~~~~~

Nah. Thune hates Trump and all of us deplorable MAGAs.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at May 26, 2026 09:31 PM (3ImbR)

542 Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (3ek7K)

Frankie Valli had a singing voice almost as piercing as Geddy Lee.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 09:31 PM (zZu0s)

543 Just how do you milk an almond, anyway?

==

carefully

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:31 PM (GD0B3)

544 Just how do you milk an almond, anyway?
Posted by: I gotta ask

You gotta find their teats first.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (ZVgZ4)

545 >>> Almond Nut Juice is 99.9% water.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (/lPRQ)

======

Tell that to Black Noir

Posted by: And I've never watched the series at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (CyFyf)

546 20% of Republicans in the senate will be replaced. Mostly all suck-ups. Let that sink in. Poise possible pick-ups in states like Georgia.

After November it’s going to be e new day.
Posted by: Marcus T at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (Bq1P

---
Michigan Dems may well select a Hamas supporter.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (ZOv7s)

547 I think its time for some Hammerfall. The lyrics are wildly appropriate for the occasion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htKY2oD85rs

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (snZF9)

548 Talerico, "it evokes strong emotions."

Talerico thought bubble - "I want to burn everything it stands for to the ground."

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (2GVsD)

549
The meat ones with a sausage seem like pigs in a blanket. Isnt that what they are? But I am a mutt random ethnicity American. It tastes good anyhow.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (Xdfhw)

Yes (and thanks, Hadrian VII!). But people in TX call them kolaches. They are not.

My father made some outstanding kolaches. They were are are a bitch to make but SO good.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (T6aVk)

550 The meat ones are Klobásník

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (HdYcL)

-----------

Gesundheit!

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (OLFlC)

551 546 Michigan Dems may well select a Hamas supporter.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (ZOv7s

====

Which should make the race a toss up.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (46HP8)

552 michistan?

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 09:33 PM (gKWVE)

553 kloachefactory.com

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:33 PM (2PamV)

554 Thune won’t be up for re-election until 2028.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (ZVgZ4)

Which is the next cycle. I don't know if anyone has announced a primary challenge yet. Thune for sure will be spending a lot more quality time in SD every chance he gets next year.

Posted by: Vendette at May 26, 2026 09:33 PM (PrsTH)

555 Sen. Thune, "No! I am not talking any calls from anyone named Thanatos!"

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 26, 2026 09:33 PM (2GVsD)

556 It’s different for everyone. But yeah, if you stay too long it gets addictive.

The Ring of Power.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 09:33 PM (Riz8t)

557 Parthenogenesis?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

Darn you for making me click on that and learn something. And on a night like this of all times.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:33 PM (vTZFs)

558 I for one am looking forward to the ADL endorsing actual Nazis and jihadis this election cycle.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:33 PM (ZOv7s)

559 514 Is Mad Hats Frederica still missing?
Posted by: Anna Puma

No reports on any sightings yet.

Posted by: Gmac-WTF did you think was going to happen? at May 26, 2026 09:33 PM (Q/FnY)

560 I think its time for some Hammerfall. The lyrics are wildly appropriate for the occasion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htKY2oD85rs

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (snZF9)

------------

Paul Pelosi's favorite song?

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:34 PM (OLFlC)

561 I AM ONE THIRD SLAVIC AND WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

I know about the no math rule and all but how does that work?
Posted by: Oddbob

21/64ths, but rounded to a fraction people can understand without using the no math?

Posted by: or so mikeski estimates at May 26, 2026 09:34 PM (VHUov)

562 Almond Nut Juice is 99.9% water.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

rickb223 nut juice isn't.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:34 PM (2PamV)

563 374 The left boob is bigger?

*heads off to internet to research*

Posted by: Bulg at May 26, 2026 09:34 PM (77rzZ)

564
The meat ones with a sausage seem like pigs in a blanket. Isnt that what they are? But I am a mutt random ethnicity American. It tastes good anyhow.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:30 PM (Xdfhw)

______________

Nnnnnnoooo... it's the bread. Pigs in a blanket are biscuit dough. Klobásník have a sweet dough called koláč.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:35 PM (HdYcL)

565 Slovachek's on the south bound side has better brisket sammiches.

Better pastries, too. However, if you’re willing to go two or three blocks from I35, Gerik’s beats them both. I don’t remember that they have had, though.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 26, 2026 09:35 PM (kYmoU)

566 Which should make the race a toss up.
Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:32 PM (46HP

---
Trump carried the state and the GOP took the House. Lots of sketchy main-in voting by corrupt secretary of state. It should get interesting.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:35 PM (ZOv7s)

567 Parthenogenesis?
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

Darn you for making me click on that and learn something. And on a night like this of all times.
Posted by: Oddbob

That's when a giant Greek temple appears out of nowhere?

Posted by: mikeski at May 26, 2026 09:35 PM (VHUov)

568 You should have gone to Harris County. They'd have let you vote for whoever

There's a running joke online that a mass of people from out of state are going to go to LA and vote for Spencer Pratt because it's illegal to ask for or show an ID at polling places in California. Suddenly this is making the Democrats interested in election security. LOL.

Posted by: Ian S. at May 26, 2026 09:35 PM (tUj8P)

569 Better pastries, too. However, if you’re willing to go two or three blocks from I35, Gerik’s beats them both. I don’t remember that they have had, though.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 26, 2026 09:35 PM (kYmoU)
---
Yooper Pasties have entered the chat.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:35 PM (ZOv7s)

570 Which is the next cycle. I don't know if anyone has announced a primary challenge yet. Thune for sure will be spending a lot more quality time in SD every chance he gets next year.

Even if he stays in office, if we can boot him as majority leader that would be a huge win.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 09:36 PM (Riz8t)

571 Better pastries, too. However, if you’re willing to go two or three blocks from I35, Gerik’s beats them both. I don’t remember that they have had, though.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair

SPB, which way? East or west? I've never gotten off 35.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:36 PM (2PamV)

572 Is Mad Hats Frederica still missing?

Posted by: Anna Puma

--------------

Frederica and Telafreako would make a lovely couple.

I'm imagining their love child would look something like if Obama & Hillary had a son ...

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:36 PM (OLFlC)

573 Blue Diamond leaves the almond business.
Posted by: Accomack at May 26, 2026 09:16 PM (I1/uy)

The rules the state of Oregon has on filbert growers they may be out of the filbert business soon, too.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 26, 2026 09:36 PM (rbvCR)

574 Sorry, had other stuff to do. Did Cornyn eat the bag of dicks yet?
——

Yes. And the bag, too

Posted by: Common Tater at May 26, 2026 09:36 PM (IDQSL)

575 "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee" Jeremiah

This is not about abortion, it is about God's foreknowledge. Even before he was conceived, God knew.

"Be fruitful and multiply" ... I prefer that admonition.

But the first verse about when man becomes a living soul ... "KJV And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." Gen 2:7

That says nothing about abortion, but there are a couple (I think) accounts where if a man caused a woman to lose her child he was fined, but whatever harm he caused to the woman, it was "an eye for an eye" type judgement.

I know someone here has said "no, that was only if it was an accidental death" (or some such), but I have not seen that in the actual text. But abortion is still wrong, even if "Biblically" it is not the same as murder. imo opinion as "not a Bible scholar". heh

Posted by: illiniwek at May 26, 2026 09:37 PM (vbXSk)

576 566 Trump carried the state and the GOP took the House. Lots of sketchy main-in voting by corrupt secretary of state. It should get interesting.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:35 PM (ZOv7s

====

Turnout differentials should favor Democrats. Just...party out of power in a midterm thing. Pretty much always happens.

Primaries and specials are never predictive, and this is not the year they start.

So, I'd predict a Dem win there, but one that'll be close enough that they'll have to spend for it.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:37 PM (46HP8)

577 Don't put anything past the GOPe of Mitch McConnell. Never forget what they did to Roy Moore of Alabama and don't think they wouldn't try to sabotage Ken Paxton in the same way. The GOPe would sooner slice off their own nose as opposed to let a MAGA candidate take a U.S. Senate seat. Be wary!

Posted by: Tracy at May 26, 2026 09:37 PM (xq6gC)

578 Nnnnnnoooo... it's the bread. Pigs in a blanket are biscuit dough. Klobásník have a sweet dough called koláč.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:35 PM (HdYcL)

Thank you for the info, sir. I've lived out here for years and never knee the difference in all the pastries.

I did know old school lolaches were fruit or cheese. But not about the weenie ones.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:38 PM (Xdfhw)

579 Kolaches have FRUIT FILLING. (Or cream cheese or poppy seed filling). NOT MEAT.

I AM ONE THIRD SLAVIC AND WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.
Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (T6aVk)

Whatever. Bacon and egg kolaches are awesome.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 09:38 PM (ExV1e)

580 every picture I see of Thune, Tom Cotton is right there behind him

Posted by: Don Black at May 26, 2026 09:38 PM (ZxPkt)

581 Even if he stays in office, if we can boot him as majority leader that would be a huge win.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 09:36 PM (Riz8t)
---
Watching all that money fail to stymie Trump may also have an effect on the caucus. Thune is nothing, a nobody from an insignificant state.

But right now, he's somebody. Maybe keep that going.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:38 PM (ZOv7s)

582 Paul Pelosi's favorite song?

Posted by: ShainS

**************************

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 09:38 PM (X+xvk)

583 The meat ones with a sausage seem like pigs in a blanket.

There is a place in Burnet called Gude’s that has something they call boudin kolaches. They are amazing. I stop there every time I go cross country to I10.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 26, 2026 09:38 PM (kYmoU)

584 481 Dear God, please send Chip Roy to the flaming tire dump in Pasadena.
Posted by: An Observation sez Trump is my President at May 26, 2026 09:22 PM (Da7Vv)

You just love evil Muslims, like that evil Muslim loving Mayes Middleton who loves evil Muslims.

Did I mention he loves evil Muslims?

Posted by: Chip Roy at May 26, 2026 09:39 PM (T6aVk)

585 482 Lon Chaney’s Phantom was still better looking than Waxman.

Posted by: Bulg at May 26, 2026 09:39 PM (77rzZ)

586 I stop at Kolache Factory on the way home from Mass. Two Polish Hots and a large coffee. Keeps me company on the long drive.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:26 PM (HdYcL)

I love the sausages they use. I wish I could find them outside KF.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 09:39 PM (ExV1e)

587 Hahaha. Al Green lost by 40 points.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at May 26, 2026 09:39 PM (3ImbR)

588 Don't put anything past the GOPe of Mitch McConnell. Never forget what they did to Roy Moore of Alabama and don't think they wouldn't try to sabotage Ken Paxton in the same way. The GOPe would sooner slice off their own nose as opposed to let a MAGA candidate take a U.S. Senate seat. Be wary!
Posted by: Tracy at May 26, 2026 09:37 PM (xq6gC)
---
Their evil genius is in a persistent vegetative state.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:39 PM (ZOv7s)

589 Whatever. Bacon and egg kolaches are awesome.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 09:38 PM (ExV1e)

I’m sure they taste great!

THEY ARE NOT KOLACHES.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 09:40 PM (T6aVk)

590 >>>Iowa's governor didn't run for reelection, either. We're a Red state, but the voters aren't happy, so the Dems have gone all in trying to replace them. They may have a shot for Governor, and a rep or two.
Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 26, 2026 08:48 PM (ycI94)

=====

Agreed. My rep is Hinson and I think she's vulnerable. Miller-Meeks district is due for a flip. High gas prices won't help. Trump better rap it up before August if not sooner.

Posted by: Turn 2 at May 26, 2026 09:40 PM (CyFyf)

591
Texas is a great state because we got the Germans and Czechs. Louisiana is a bunghole because it got the French and Spanish.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:40 PM (HdYcL)

592 Even if he stays in office, if we can boot him as majority leader that would be a huge win.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 09:36 PM (Riz8t)

------------

I know Rick Scott of FL challenged Cocaine Glitch McConnell and Thune for the Leadership role last time.

I don't know that much about him? Is he MAGA with actual balls -- or yet another squish eunuch in everybody's pockets?

Suggestions for the next Senate Majority Leader? Mike Lee?

[Per Brave "AI" Search of who are considered the most conservative U.S. Senators:] "Based on GovTrack's 2024 ideology scores, which are the most recent comprehensive data provided, Sen. Rick Scott (R-FL) is ranked as the most conservative U.S. senator with a score of 1.00. He is followed closely by Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) at 0.98 and Sen. Mike Lankford (R-OK) at 0.97."

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:40 PM (OLFlC)

593 577 Don't put anything past the GOPe of Mitch McConnell. Never forget what they did to Roy Moore of Alabama and don't think they wouldn't try to sabotage Ken Paxton in the same way. The GOPe would sooner slice off their own nose as opposed to let a MAGA candidate take a U.S. Senate seat. Be wary!
Posted by: Tracy at May 26, 2026 09:37 PM (xq6gC)

====

Moore had a long history of barely winning statewide races before that Senate race. He was controversial long before. They only had to tip the scales slightly to beat him.

Patron recently won his last statewide race by large numbers.

The situation isn't comparable.

Posted by: TJM's phone at May 26, 2026 09:40 PM (46HP8)

594 461 I live in Al Green's district. Bad as Al Green is, Menefee is horrendous. Basically a Seattle level Communist.

Posted by: An Observation sez Trump is my President
---

All Democrats are Seattle level communists, some hide it better than others.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:40 PM (ZwdAr)

595 every picture I see of Thune, Tom Cotton is right there behind him

Posted by: Don Black at May 26, 2026 09:38 PM (ZxPkt)

Cotton is the chairman of the Senate Republican Conference (#3 in the leadership). The pics are likely from press conferences with the members of the leadership all standing there. Plus Cotton is tall enough that he can stand behind Thune and he won't be hidden.

Posted by: Vendette at May 26, 2026 09:41 PM (PrsTH)

596 Top of Insty:

Dog shoots woman in Nebraska.

She was either evil or it was a complete accident.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 09:41 PM (zZu0s)

597
There is a place in Burnet called Gude’s that has something they call boudin kolaches.

________

Buc-ee's has them too. Is this a great country or what?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:41 PM (HdYcL)

598 Hahaha. Al Green lost by 40 points.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at May 26, 2026 09:39 PM (3ImbR)

Is he going to take a cane to the smooth Black dude what beat him like a rented mule? I love Dem on Dem violence.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:41 PM (Xdfhw)

599 SPB, which way? East or west? I've never gotten off 35.

East. It’s the same exit, too, as I recall. Go right on Oak Street just past the Czech Stop Shell and it should be on your right three blocks down.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 26, 2026 09:41 PM (kYmoU)

600 I never get tired of the arguments about what food is called.

Rilly.

Eat the food. Call it what you want.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, I Have Become Comfortably Lame at May 26, 2026 09:42 PM (0aYVJ)

601 The rules the state of Oregon has on filbert growers they may be out of the filbert business soon, too.

No more filberts? Gee, that'd be a shame. A darn, darn shame.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:42 PM (vTZFs)

602 If the Dems in Michigan nominate Hamas boy he'll win the muzzies, most African Americans and the white ideologues and Karen's. Rogers will take every one else . Will be tight

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 26, 2026 09:43 PM (hpwtA)

603 Yooper Pasties have entered the chat.

Is there a place called Yooper Pasties off I35? TAKE MY MONEY NOW!

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 26, 2026 09:43 PM (kYmoU)

604 >>>every picture I see of Thune, Tom Cotton is right there behind him
~~~~~

Cotton is a huge disappointment. I had such respect for him being a member of the Old Guard and guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Never thought he'd let us down.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at May 26, 2026 09:43 PM (3ImbR)

605 Eat the food. Call it what you want.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, I Have Become Comfortably Lame at May 26, 2026 09:42 PM (0aYVJ)

Fuel.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 26, 2026 09:43 PM (iERP6)

606 >>>Dog shoots woman in Nebraska.

She was either evil or it was a complete accident.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 09:41 PM (zZu0s)

=====

My first instinct is to side with the dog, but I have a golden retriever, so if he doesn't like you it's probably justified.

Posted by: Turn 2 at May 26, 2026 09:44 PM (CyFyf)

607 Remember the utter hatred and open animosity that greeted Ted Cruz upon his election to the Senate?

Amplify that 100-fold for what Ken Paxton is about to face.

The GOPe HATES conservatives, especially effective ones.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 09:44 PM (X+xvk)

608 Maybe McConnell will fall in the cloakroom and smother.

Posted by: Vengeance at May 26, 2026 09:44 PM (+5DDj)

609 Paul Pelosi's favorite song?
Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:34 PM (OLFlC)

https://youtu.be/JU5LMG3WFBw

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 09:44 PM (ExV1e)

610
I live in Al Green's district. Bad as Al Green is, Menefee is horrendous. Basically a Seattle level Communist.

Posted by: An Observation sez Trump is my President

Green was a harmless clown. Menefee may not be so harmless, eh?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 26, 2026 09:45 PM (Cqx++)

611 Saikat Chakrabarti for Congress
@saikatc
Scott Wiener is endorsed by Jake Auchincloss.
Our campaign is endorsed by Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib.
That should tell you who Scott Wiener is going to Washington, DC, to work with.
We can't afford another John Fetterman, especially coming from San Francisco.

-
Scott Weiner isn't another Fetterman, more of another Swalwell.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 26, 2026 09:45 PM (ndZc7)

612 The Czech Stop in West does not take out of town checks. That seems prejudiced and wrong
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary

I LOVE that place. I hit it when I visit the family cemetery. And then on the way home. I always joke that West, Tx is in East, Tx.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 09:45 PM (l26NL)

613 So it's a food thread now?

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:45 PM (vTZFs)

614 Stephen Price Blair, do you travel I-10 going west? Have I ever recommended the Junction Burger Co? It is worth a stop. Delicious food. And there ain't much for a while after Junction.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:45 PM (Xdfhw)

615 Is he going to take a cane to the smooth Black dude what beat him like a rented mule? I love Dem on Dem violence.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:41 PM (Xdfhw)
~~~~~

Hopefully! From what I hear the guy who won is even worse than Al--a true communist.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at May 26, 2026 09:45 PM (3ImbR)

616 Is there a place called Yooper Pasties off I35? TAKE MY MONEY NOW!

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 26, 2026 09:43 PM (kYmoU)

Rutabaga does not belong in meat pies. It's the law. Just read the bible!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 26, 2026 09:46 PM (iERP6)

617 Bill Paxton> Ken Paxton *winking emoji*

Still, I am glad Mr. Paxton curb-stomped Cornholio.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, I Have Become Comfortably Lame at May 26, 2026 09:46 PM (0aYVJ)

618
McConnell doesn't know he is still in the world.

His staffers bring him out on a hand truck.

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 09:46 PM (3ek7K)

619 Cornyn Cornholed. Film at eleven.

Posted by: davidt at May 26, 2026 09:46 PM (Q+gd/)

620 East. It’s the same exit, too, as I recall. Go right on Oak Street just past the Czech Stop Shell and it should be on your right three blocks down.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair

Thank you!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:47 PM (2PamV)

621
Remember the utter hatred and open animosity that greeted Ted Cruz upon his election to the Senate?

___________

He beat David Dewhurst, the crown prince. I met him once. He had the kind of manner that if he started sitting down someone would slide in a chair.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:47 PM (HdYcL)

622 (Est. remaining 709,000) in the Middleton/Roy ballot. The percentage is relatively unchanged. Don't have a map that shows what counties are in or not.

Roy worked for Cruz but not endorsed.
Roy worked for Paxton and was given the option to resign or be fired.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:47 PM (ZwdAr)

623 I know Rick Scott of FL challenged Cocaine Glitch McConnell and Thune for the Leadership role last time.

I don't know that much about him? Is he MAGA with actual balls -- or yet another squish eunuch in everybody's pockets?

Suggestions for the next Senate Majority Leader? Mike Lee?

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:40 PM (OLFlC)

The leader race was Thune, Rick Scott, and Cornyn because McConnell bowed out. If I recall, that was his second time running for leader, and has around a dozen senators who will support him. Just my opinion, but I think he wants to be leader for the prestige, and has no desire to start lower down the leadership ladder and work his way up.

Posted by: Vendette at May 26, 2026 09:47 PM (PrsTH)

624 Heh. The woke Minneapolis Chief of Police just resigned.

Frey was taking disciplinary action against him for impeding and investigation into claims he was having an affair with another city employee.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 26, 2026 09:48 PM (viF8m)

625 AMERRIKA FIRST!

"Exclusive: Rep. Thomas Massie is vacationing with Marjorie Taylor Greene in Costa Rica.

TMZ DC obtained a photo of Massie and Greene alongside their significant others during a beachfront dinner Tuesday night."

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:48 PM (GD0B3)

626 I know about the no math rule and all but how does that work?

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:28 PM (vTZFs)

Polyploidy. Slavs are known for it, unfortunately. It is why they rarely breed true.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 26, 2026 09:48 PM (rbvCR)

627 Buc-ee's has them too. Is this a great country or what?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:41 PM (HdYcL)

I am currently enjoying their Jalapeno & Honey jerky. I am pleased.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 26, 2026 09:48 PM (iERP6)

628 Dog shoots woman in Nebraska.

She was either evil or it was a complete accident.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Complete accident. If it's the one I'm thinking of, she was in the car next to them. Dog jump into back seat of truck, landed on shot gu. And blew a hole in the side of the truck.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:50 PM (2PamV)

629 My Dad loved rutabagas. Referred to them as “beggies.”

It was a Dutch thing, I guess. None of us kids could see the appeal.

Posted by: Bulg at May 26, 2026 09:50 PM (77rzZ)

630 Scott Wiener is bad on social issues but good on delivering housing. As in building houses.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 09:50 PM (gKWVE)

631 622 Hmm. I didn't know that last part. Interesting.

Posted by: turambar at May 26, 2026 09:51 PM (Q0yOR)

632 Polyploidy. Slavs are known for it, unfortunately. It is why they rarely breed true.
Posted by: Kindltot

OK, so it's a vocabulary thread now?

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:51 PM (vTZFs)

633 And there ain't much for a while after Junction.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary
---

rocks

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:51 PM (ZwdAr)

634 "Exclusive: Rep. Thomas Massie is vacationing with Marjorie Taylor Greene in Costa Rica.

TMZ DC obtained a photo of Massie and Greene alongside their significant others during a beachfront dinner Tuesday night."
Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:48 PM (GD0B3)
---
Uh-huh. So that's what they call it now. "Vacationing together."

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:51 PM (ZOv7s)

635
Rutabagas and turnips are great.

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 09:51 PM (3ek7K)

636 Dog shoots woman in Nebraska."

*pulls out Gray's Anatomy....*

Where?

Posted by: man at May 26, 2026 09:52 PM (XuXeR)

637 Anyone here remember the Good Old Days when congresscritters slept with staffers rather than each other?

Seriously. That's just nasty.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:52 PM (ZOv7s)

638 And there ain't much for a while after Junction.

No there ain’t! Next stop is Fort Stockton and B Family Diner.

You have recommended Junction Burger and I tried it a few months ago visiting the historical markers on TX29 to Junction. I’ll be mentioning it in a blog post about the markers “soon”. So thanks!

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 26, 2026 09:52 PM (kYmoU)

639 He beat David Dewhurst, the crown prince. I met him once. He had the kind of manner that if he started sitting down someone would slide in a chair.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:47 PM (HdYcL)

Hmm, kinda funny, he was the Texas Land Commissioner from 1999 to 2003! Did you know that ?

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:52 PM (GD0B3)

640 Have Mike Pence and Mitt Romney started whining yet?

Posted by: The ARC of History! at May 26, 2026 09:53 PM (aD4fx)

641
I'm surprised at the size of the Republican vote for Harris County judge. Maybe 8 years of the Teen Commissar were enough.

On the Dem side, I want the carpet muncher Annise Parker to lose. Because I don't like her.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:53 PM (HdYcL)

642 Complete accident. If it's the one I'm thinking of, she was in the car next to them.

What?! If there's a sudden rash of shotgun-wielding dogs in Nebraska, I'm going to need a ballistic vest.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:53 PM (vTZFs)

643 The leader race was Thune, Rick Scott, and Cornyn because McConnell bowed out.

------------

Ah, that's right -- had forgotten that Cornyn (and not McConnell) was in the running, thanks Vendette!

Posted by: ShainS at May 26, 2026 09:53 PM (OLFlC)

644
CBD, meat is just the dressing on a true rutabegie pasty.

Posted by: Auspex at May 26, 2026 09:53 PM (Y8DZL)

645 Have Mike Pence and Mitt Romney started whining yet?

Have they ever stopped?

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:54 PM (vTZFs)

646 You have recommended Junction Burger and I tried it a few months ago visiting the historical markers on TX29 to Junction. I’ll be mentioning it in a blog post about the markers “soon”. So thanks!

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 26, 2026 09:52 PM (kYmoU)

I hope you didn't hate it. Will wait for your review.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:54 PM (Xdfhw)

647 Talarico is unhinged. Only imbeciles would support this assclown.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at May 26, 2026 09:54 PM (D1E+2)

648 Congrats, Texas!

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 26, 2026 09:54 PM (znREB)

649 Uh-huh. So that's what they call it now. "Vacationing together."
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:51 PM (ZOv7s)

Are you thinking orgy ? Swingers ??

Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:54 PM (GD0B3)

650 Uh-huh. So that's what they call it now. "Vacationing together."

Kekich and Peterson wave from the 70s...

Posted by: man at May 26, 2026 09:54 PM (XuXeR)

651 Thumping an incumbent in a runoff should allow the winner to finish the incumbent’s remaining time in office.

Posted by: Advo at May 26, 2026 09:54 PM (jO4mz)

652 "Dog shoots woman in Nebraska."
----------
Police suspect fair play.

Posted by: The ghost of Dennis Miller at May 26, 2026 09:54 PM (2Ez/1)

653 It was.

A woman in Nebraska was injured after a dog accidentally discharged a shotgun while inside a vehicle near a traffic light, authorities said. The incident reportedly occurred on Saturday after the dog stepped on its owner’s shotgun. According to reports, the Scottsbluff Police Department was informed about the incident while the victim was rushed to a nearby medical facility.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:55 PM (2PamV)

654 That co-workers can't have personal relationships is a dumb rule.

Just leave the door open so we can watch.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:55 PM (ZwdAr)

655
Is Dennis Miller still alive?

Posted by: four seasons at May 26, 2026 09:55 PM (3ek7K)

656 Talarico is unhinged. Only imbeciles would support this assclown.
Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at May 26, 2026 09:54 PM (D1E+2)

And assclowns.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 09:56 PM (zZu0s)

657 Are you thinking orgy ? Swingers ??
Posted by: runner at May 26, 2026 09:54 PM (GD0B3)
---
I don't want to think about either of those things, but one can't reasonably rule it out.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 26, 2026 09:56 PM (ZOv7s)

658 When Paxton wins the Senate seat, what will the dynamic be between he and Cruz?

Posted by: davidt at May 26, 2026 09:56 PM (Q+gd/)

659 Pence, 11 hours ago, was whining that "the next generation of conservative leaders must embrace civility".

Be polite to the guards as they load you on to the cattle car.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at May 26, 2026 09:56 PM (aD4fx)

660 Dog shoots woman in Nebraska

-------

As Mossad could tell you - some dogs aren't trained to take no for an answer.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 09:57 PM (BI5O2)

661 When Paxton wins the Senate seat, what will the dynamic be between he and Cruz?
Posted by: davidt at May 26, 2026 09:56 PM (Q+gd/)

Each will refer to the other as "the communist".

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 09:57 PM (ExV1e)

662 When Paxton wins the Senate seat, what will the dynamic be between he and Cruz?
Posted by: davidt

Good cop/bad cop?

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:58 PM (2PamV)

663 Land Commissioner is traditional route to the crown.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 09:58 PM (ZwdAr)

664 the next generation of conservative leaders must embrace civility".

Embrace a petrol soaked pineapple, nitwit....

Posted by: man at May 26, 2026 09:58 PM (XuXeR)

665 I'm just waiting for Kaya to have the controls to Piker's collar

Posted by: ZOT at May 26, 2026 09:58 PM (gKWVE)

666 When Paxton wins the Senate seat, what will the dynamic be between he and Cruz?

Posted by: davidt at May 26, 2026 09:56 PM (Q+gd/)

It will be like a gladiator movie?

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at May 26, 2026 09:58 PM (Xdfhw)

667 Pence, 11 hours ago, was whining that "the next generation of conservative leaders must embrace civility".
Posted by: The ARC of History!

A rear naked choke is an "embrace."

Posted by: mikeski at May 26, 2026 09:58 PM (VHUov)

668 Pence, 11 hours ago, was whining that "the next generation of conservative leaders must embrace civility".

And Texas, quite civilly, told Cornyn to get the fuck out.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 26, 2026 09:58 PM (ExV1e)

669 Is Dennis Miller still alive?

As far as I know. He has (or had) a podcast but I lost interest when you had to stand next to a "You must be this smart to listen" sign before subscribing.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 09:58 PM (vTZFs)

670 A woman in Nebraska was injured after a dog accidentally discharged a shotgun while inside a vehicle near a traffic light, authorities said. The incident reportedly occurred on Saturday after the dog stepped on its owner’s shotgun. According to reports, the Scottsbluff Police Department was informed about the incident while the victim was rushed to a nearby medical facility.
Posted by: rickb223

While the discharge was deemed accidental, they are still not so convinced that the dog racked it 'accidentally'.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 26, 2026 09:58 PM (/lPRQ)

671 630 Scott Wiener is bad on social issues but good on delivering housing. As in building houses.
Posted by: gKWVE at May 26, 2026 09:50 PM (gKWVE)

You know who else was bad on social issues but good on building housing?

Posted by: Oh, you know who at May 26, 2026 09:59 PM (y4lS2)

672 Bitch had it coming.

Posted by: Nebraska Dog at May 26, 2026 09:59 PM (u73oe)

673 While the discharge was deemed accidental, they are still not so convinced that the dog racked it 'accidentally'.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

Snort!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 26, 2026 09:59 PM (2PamV)

674 I suspect Cruz and Paxton's relationship will be pretty fractious, if Paxton has anything like the promise he seems to. Cruz has been on long enough that he won't want a junior Senator rocking the Party's boat.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 26, 2026 10:00 PM (BI5O2)

675 When Paxton wins the Senate seat, what will the dynamic be between he and Cruz?

Posted by: davidt

*******************

I think they will work well together. Probably the best representation Texas Republicans will have had in the Senate in ages.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 10:00 PM (X+xvk)

676
The Texas caveman Al Green got primaried.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 26, 2026 10:00 PM (OgWfa)

677 MAYES MIDDLETON WINS THE TEXAS PRIMARY
_NBC

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 26, 2026 10:00 PM (ZwdAr)

678
Paxton / Cruz Hallmark romance comedy?

Have your people call my people.

Posted by: Auspex at May 26, 2026 10:01 PM (Y8DZL)

679 We need a Pence/Romney ticket vs. a Harris/Newsom ticket for our next election.

Maybe we can get someone to create a series of AI debates for our entertainment?

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at May 26, 2026 10:01 PM (D1E+2)

680 Pence, 11 hours ago, was whining that "the next generation of conservative leaders must embrace civility".

Unbelievable. It's been literally minutes since Paxton annihilated Cornyn for "embracing civility" and this sponge brain still doesn't understand the message.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 10:01 PM (Riz8t)

681 Where is civility from the Democrats? Hell they aren't even civil to the squishiest GOPe .

Posted by: steevy at May 26, 2026 10:01 PM (YwEeS)

682 I love the good news!

Posted by: JM in Illinois at May 26, 2026 10:01 PM (lWL3x)

683 Who’s a good boy now, motherfucker?

Posted by: Nebraska Dog at May 26, 2026 10:02 PM (u73oe)

684 Pence, 11 hours ago, was whining that "the next generation of conservative leaders must embrace civility".

Unbelievable. It's been literally minutes since Paxton annihilated Cornyn for "embracing civility" and this sponge brain still doesn't understand the message.

TBF, though, it was 11 hours ago. Nah, I'm sticking with "what an a***ole!"

Posted by: Archimedes at May 26, 2026 10:02 PM (Riz8t)

685 I'm out for the night.

Thank you, Texas!

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 26, 2026 10:02 PM (X+xvk)

686 Did anyone nood yet? If not, "nood."

Posted by: Oddbob at May 26, 2026 10:03 PM (vTZFs)

687
This is what happens when you break a treat into two and pass half off as one.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 10:03 PM (HdYcL)

688 The Nebraska way. They bring a rolled up newspaper, we bring a gun.

Posted by: Dog at May 26, 2026 10:03 PM (Q+gd/)

689 Nooooooood.

Posted by: Bulg at May 26, 2026 10:04 PM (77rzZ)

690 ONT is nood.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 26, 2026 10:04 PM (zZu0s)

691 I hope you didn't hate it. Will wait for your review.

Did not hate it, and it’s not a review. Just a mention of what you might want to do if you make it all the way to Junction and don’t know what to do next.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 26, 2026 10:05 PM (kYmoU)

692 612 The Czech Stop in West does not take out of town checks. That seems prejudiced and wrong
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary

I LOVE that place. I hit it when I visit the family cemetery. And then on the way home. I always joke that West, Tx is in East, Tx.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 26, 2026 09:45 PM (l26NL)

I went to Baylor and when I came home for the weekend, I was under strict orders to stop at the Czech stop or don't bother coming home. Those kolaches were so stinkin' good!!

Posted by: moki at May 26, 2026 10:05 PM (wLjpr)

693 A slight update to my Lady Victory Statue:

https://ibb.co/XrrfNjgL

I think most here will like it.

Posted by: SimoHayha at May 26, 2026 10:09 PM (/ZkOF)

694 You misspelled dumb at the end there

Posted by: epador at May 26, 2026 10:10 PM (tb9yJ)

695 I can't wait to get another lecture from Karl "Whiteboard" Rove about how MAGA spent too much money going after Cornyn when they could have invested their money in what he'd deem as more critical contests. Of course, Rove would hope people would ignore the ten of millions his own PAC gave to Cornyn in this cycle. So Cornyn losing means Rove and the Bush machine lost too. That makes me extra, extra happy!

Posted by: Tracy at May 26, 2026 10:11 PM (xq6gC)

696 621
Remember the utter hatred and open animosity that greeted Ted Cruz upon his election to the Senate?

___________

He beat David Dewhurst, the crown prince. I met him once. He had the kind of manner that if he started sitting down someone would slide in a chair.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 26, 2026 09:47 PM (HdYcL)

The utter hatred and open animosity to Ted Cruz lives on for some right here on Ace.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 26, 2026 10:22 PM (T6aVk)

Processing 0.09, elapsed 0.0918 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0205 seconds, 705 records returned.
Page size 314 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.