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In Fair Verona, Where We Lay Our ONT

Hi everyone! Well, we made it through another week, time for the Friday ONT! Let's start with presents:

brain cell.jpg

Fido Friday: Waggles!


Here at the HQ, we COBs have to take special classes on the care and feeding of Ace

ewok exam.jfif

H/t @BertGridesagain

I have a new favorite map

Sharks.jfif


TIL that I have an Amazon fetish


In trouble

IMG_7566.JPG


Did you ever read the back of old bootleg VHS tapes from China?

IMG_7567.JPG


Never too old


Furry problems

furry.jpg


Hey, I'd buy an escalator if it was marked down

Mangos.jfif


In which we do a sneaky


Girls v Boys

girls v boys.jpg


Survival of the fittest

crawls.jpg


Dad! Help!


I agree with fati

Bianca.jpg


Versatile

costume.jpg


This is what I imagine it's like at AOP's house


The classics

IMG_3729.JPEG


Today's Venn diagram

IMG_3742.JPG


Great moments in women's sports


A necromancer is just a very slow healer

necromancy.png


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by special forces:

to the rescue.jpg


Posted by: WeirdDave at 10:00 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 St

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at May 15, 2026 10:01 PM (kOluj)

2 Yes!! Hi Weird Dave!

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at May 15, 2026 10:01 PM (kOluj)

3 The classics

There are a few Colorado Morons. Wonder which one owns that van?

Posted by: mikeski at May 15, 2026 10:02 PM (VHUov)

4 I nooded

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at May 15, 2026 10:03 PM (6lIrI)

5 Holy Shit that is one big girl!

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:03 PM (/lPRQ)

6 Whoa! What the hell am I doing on an ONT thread?

FWIW, on the shark-attack map, within the last couple years somebody got chomped in Casco Bay, Maine, just off Harpswell.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:04 PM (LxER7)

7
*sticks gum to bottom side of table*

Good evening, Hordians.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 15, 2026 10:06 PM (HdYcL)

8 Didn't dwell on the Ewok graphic because it's obviously the work of a pervert.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at May 15, 2026 10:06 PM (ZOv7s)

9 Mama Cass!

Posted by: Joemarine at May 15, 2026 10:06 PM (y171U)

10 Did you ever read the back of old bootleg VHS tapes from China?

-
Alien?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 15, 2026 10:06 PM (ndZc7)

11 Read the content and watched a coupla videos and almost number 11!

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 15, 2026 10:08 PM (Jr+re)

12 Another fantastic ONT, WeirdDave! Thanks.

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 15, 2026 10:08 PM (Jr+re)

13
Spetsnaz isn't there to rescue hostages. Spetsnaz is there to kill insurgents. They protect the regime, not the people.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 15, 2026 10:08 PM (HdYcL)

14 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at May 15, 2026 10:09 PM (m5P/4)

15 But I only romance part of ze nec~!

Posted by: Count Dracul at May 15, 2026 10:09 PM (diia5)

16 Girls v Boys
... Just found him on the street...

Didn't they have a 'tourist' video recently wear somebody from Germany or England wandered across some southern guys...
and ended up chasing gators, going to a range, etc.?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:10 PM (/lPRQ)

17 TIL that I have an Amazon fetish

I was expecting a cute delivery girl. But it was literal.

Posted by: mikeski at May 15, 2026 10:11 PM (VHUov)

18 Good evening good people.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 15, 2026 10:12 PM (Kyh8Y)

19 *sticks gum to bottom side of table*

Good evening, Hordians.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 15, 2026 10:06 PM (HdYcL)

I pity you, because Pooky will find you. He was a high school janitor and although gum was banned, he still had to scrape it off places.

Posted by: pookysgirl recommends hiding in Africa at May 15, 2026 10:12 PM (Wt5PA)

20 Best memeos ever on the interwebs!🤪!
Thanks WD!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 15, 2026 10:13 PM (uTEOj)

21 16. Yes. I posted it on the ONT a few months ago.

Posted by: Weirddave at May 15, 2026 10:13 PM (df/te)

22 God made men, Sam Colt made them equal.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 15, 2026 10:15 PM (xcxpd)

23 17 TIL that I have an Amazon fetish

I was expecting a cute delivery girl. But it was literal.
Posted by: mikeski at May 15, 2026 10:11 PM (VHUov)

Trust me, you do NOT want to fool with Dahomey Amazons....

Posted by: Harry Flashman at May 15, 2026 10:15 PM (LxER7)

24 ILIAD

He spelled "lied" wrong.

Posted by: GWB at May 15, 2026 10:15 PM (kU0PQ)

25 I chortled

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 15, 2026 10:16 PM (LmPA0)

26 Also, VeryTallMaddy is very hot.

Would.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 15, 2026 10:16 PM (xcxpd)

27 "Prostate Examination on an Ewok" has reminded me that I could never have made it as a doctor. Eew.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 15, 2026 10:16 PM (0Htd1)

28
And if you're a hostage and you get in the way of Spetsnaz killing insurgents, Spetsnaz will kill you too.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 15, 2026 10:16 PM (HdYcL)

29 Bingo! Alien.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at May 15, 2026 10:17 PM (YlWIZ)

30 Holy Shit that is one big girl!
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:03 PM (/lPRQ)

Enlarged to show detail.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 15, 2026 10:17 PM (1Ff7Z)

31 "care and feeding of Ace"

Third time this has been used on here. I think, just maybe, it can be retired now.

Happy evening to the early overnighters. Yay! It's a hard-to-beat WeirdDave Friday!

Posted by: mindful webworker - or is it Gilligan's Island? at May 15, 2026 10:18 PM (cz4n2)

32 I miss Betty Page.

Posted by: wth at May 15, 2026 10:18 PM (oq9dX)

33 Did you ever read the back of old bootleg VHS tapes from China?

-
Alien?
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy


Could have been Rosemary's Baby.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:18 PM (/lPRQ)

34 13
Spetsnaz isn't there to rescue hostages. Spetsnaz is there to kill insurgents. They protect the regime, not the people.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 15, 2026 10:08 PM (HdYcL)

That is true. Their reputation has taken a hit due to their performance in the ongoing Ukraine war but they are hard fuckers in a hard country.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 15, 2026 10:19 PM (xcxpd)

35 32 I miss Betty Page.
Posted by: wth at May 15, 2026 10:18 PM (oq9dX)

Remember her in her prime, not how she ended up.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 15, 2026 10:19 PM (xcxpd)

36 A woman I used to work with was wickedly tall. Like 6'7" or so - she had a 40" inseam -and spent huge $$$$ to get decent clothes that looked good on her.

And a huge list of 'Tall Girl' problems that were epic.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 15, 2026 10:19 PM (Kyh8Y)

37 Aquarium shark attack is a little more interactive that I'd want to experience!

Posted by: mindful webworker - candygrammm at May 15, 2026 10:20 PM (cz4n2)

38 27 "Prostate Examination on an Ewok" has reminded me that I could never have made it as a doctor. Eew.
Posted by: nerdygirl at May 15, 2026 10:16 PM (0Htd1)

There's always gynecology.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at May 15, 2026 10:20 PM (gKWVE)

39 The taller guy commenting on the race is named Cleetus something. He's on several TV car shows and can race. He has run a couple of second level NASCAR races this year and does well if he doesn't crash. He crashes. The interviews afterward are hilarious!

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 15, 2026 10:21 PM (Jr+re)

40 Spetsnaz isn't there to rescue hostages. Spetsnaz is there to kill insurgents. They protect the regime, not the people.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

Even notice whenever America Special Forces are mentioned in the news it is always SEAL Team Six or Delta Force?

Those guys do it all. Literally.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:21 PM (/lPRQ)

41 TIL that I have an Amazon fetish

I was expecting a cute delivery girl. But it was literal.
Posted by: mikeski


Throw in the Futurama Snu Snu / Busted Hips scene.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:22 PM (/lPRQ)

42
Didn't they have a 'tourist' video recently wear somebody from Germany or England wandered across some southern guys...
and ended up chasing gators, going to a range, etc.?
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

================

Yeah, that was fun. It was a UK couple, and they ran into some Southerners -- men and women actually.

Posted by: Blonde Mortixtl at May 15, 2026 10:22 PM (XJ22o)

43 I miss Betty Page.
Posted by: wth

Remember her in her prime, not how she ended up.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

Helen Wood has also entered the chat. (Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Pal Joey, and Deep Throat)

Posted by: Tonypete at May 15, 2026 10:22 PM (Kyh8Y)

44 38 27 "Prostate Examination on an Ewok" has reminded me that I could never have made it as a doctor. Eew.
Posted by: nerdygirl at May 15, 2026 10:16 PM (0Htd1)

There's always gynecology.
Posted by: Amy Schumer at May 15, 2026 10:20 PM (gKWVE)
----
Actually, I'm a gynecologist, but this is my lunch hour.

Posted by: Obscure Monty Python Reference at May 15, 2026 10:23 PM (LxER7)

45 So many WTFs, so little time....

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 15, 2026 10:23 PM (uTEOj)

46 40 Spetsnaz isn't there to rescue hostages. Spetsnaz is there to kill insurgents. They protect the regime, not the people.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

Even notice whenever America Special Forces are mentioned in the news it is always SEAL Team Six or Delta Force?

Those guys do it all. Literally.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:21 PM (/lPRQ)

There are more Tier 1 operators than SEAL Team Six and Delta. But Team Six really likes headlines, much to the disapproval of the other Operators.

Most Delta guys don't talk much but they do get a lot of attention.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 15, 2026 10:23 PM (xcxpd)

47 It is a third degree misdemeanor to be a paid necromancer in Pennsylvania. However, pro bono necromancy or necromancy for entertainment purposes only may be allowed.

I saw Pro-Bono Necromancy open for Ghostly Kisses at The Graveyard in 2022.

https://youtu.be/iMSXbTrrPNk

Posted by: mikeski was dying to see them at May 15, 2026 10:23 PM (VHUov)

48 Yay WeirdDave! Last of the great ONTers.

Posted by: alpine_beer at May 15, 2026 10:25 PM (van9r)

49 43 I miss Betty Page.
Posted by: wth

Remember her in her prime, not how she ended up.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

Helen Wood has also entered the chat. (Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Pal Joey, and Deep Throat)
Posted by: Tonypete at May 15, 2026 10:22 PM (Kyh8Y)

Her I don't know but Rita Hayworth was in Pal Joey. Rowr.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 15, 2026 10:25 PM (xcxpd)

50 "care and feeding of Ace"

Third time this has been used on here. I think, just maybe, it can be retired now.

Happy evening to the early overnighters. Yay! It's a hard-to-beat WeirdDave Friday!
Posted by: mindful webworker - or is it Gilligan's Island?

===

Just Maybe....

Write a little routine where banned URLs just get that graphic every time they try to go to the home page or post a message ?

Then run it through an AI to make it photorealistic...

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:26 PM (/lPRQ)

51 Hammers, copper plumbing, green hair. No two of those things should go together.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 15, 2026 10:26 PM (vTZFs)

52 32 I miss Betty Page.
Posted by: wth at May 15, 2026 10:18 PM (oq9dX)

Perhaps a little more range time would help.

Posted by: DJ Jazzy Mel at May 15, 2026 10:27 PM (ZTJjv)

53
Hammers, copper plumbing, green hair. No two of those things should go together.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 15, 2026 10:26 PM (vTZFs)

__________

Saw the green hair and said to myself, "This will turn out badly."

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 15, 2026 10:27 PM (HdYcL)

54 OK. Cleetus' last TV/ewetube name is McFarland. Made up somehow. Real last name is Mitchell. Interesting.

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 15, 2026 10:28 PM (Jr+re)

55 Gina Carano is baaaack! She looks great.

https://tinyurl.com/4kr54hke

Posted by: runner at May 15, 2026 10:28 PM (GD0B3)

56 Are there Seal Teams 1-5?

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 15, 2026 10:28 PM (LmPA0)

57 Hammers, copper plumbing, green hair. No two of those things should go together.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 15, 2026 10:26 PM (vTZFs)

__________

Saw the green hair and said to myself, "This will turn out badly."
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 15, 2026 10:27 PM (HdYcL)

***

I was thinking, green hair: "You're on your own, kid."

Posted by: Diogenes at May 15, 2026 10:29 PM (2WIwB)

58 Maddy would be a good house painter. Or grocery store stocker.

Posted by: wth at May 15, 2026 10:29 PM (oq9dX)

59 Are there Seal Teams 1-5?
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport


No. How do you think they became #6?

Posted by: Count Dracul at May 15, 2026 10:29 PM (diia5)

60 A woman I used to work with was wickedly tall. Like 6'7" or so - she had a 40" inseam -and spent huge $$$$ to get decent clothes that looked good on her.

And a huge list of 'Tall Girl' problems that were epic.
Posted by: Tonypete


A typical residential door is 6'8", according to my 6'8" cousin who ducks through all doors by reflex.

So based on that video, "verytallmaddy" would tower over your coworker. She's gotta be 7-foot-..... let me google that for me.

She says she's 7-foot-5.

Posted by: mikeski notes 5-foot-7 would still be a tall girl at May 15, 2026 10:29 PM (VHUov)

61 “Good evening good people”

There he goes again! Tony is always calling everyone names.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 15, 2026 10:30 PM (bNzW0)

62 All things considered, 99 cents for fudge is not a bad deal.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 15, 2026 10:30 PM (XV/Pl)

63 Are there Seal Teams 1-5?


Maybe they ALL use Seal Team 6 as a nom de guerre.

(That Froggy wording may/could be/almost certainly is wrong!)

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 15, 2026 10:30 PM (Jr+re)

64 What about a Manatee Team?

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 15, 2026 10:31 PM (LmPA0)

65 Gina Carano is baaaack! She looks great.

https://tinyurl.com/4kr54hke

Posted by: runner at May 15, 2026 10:28 PM (GD0B3)

If you say so.

Posted by: Pedro Pascal at May 15, 2026 10:31 PM (vSvIl)

66 Are there Seal Teams 1-5?
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport

No. How do you think they became #6?
Posted by: Count Dracul


Also, don't ask about what happened to the testers for Preparations A through G.

Posted by: mikeski at May 15, 2026 10:31 PM (VHUov)

67 The girls v. boys thing:

I was working in Yellowstone, and my buddy introduced me to a guy he met. Dude was snapping pictures and fell over a boulder. Buddy helped him up and they became friends. We all partied at the employee cantina (I was too young, but it was Wyoming in 1984, so, eh) Stranger dude was super cool, played guitar, and was hitting on a super-hot chick named CJ. Later we all adjourned around midnight to the overlook at the Lower falls of the Yellowstone to smoke some skunk-weed.

Dude was the son of Saul Zaentz. He told me about the film his Dad produced. Amadeus. Seriously, though, he was genuinely cool as hell. And I am pretty sure he scored with CJ.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic at May 15, 2026 10:32 PM (0aYVJ)

68 Gina Carano was great in Haywire, probably the only realistic scene of a girl kicking a dude's ass when she merc'd Michael Fasbender.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 15, 2026 10:34 PM (XV/Pl)

69 Are there Seal Teams 1-5?
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport

No. How do you think they became #6?
Posted by: Count Dracul

Also, don't ask about what happened to the testers for Preparations A through G.
Posted by: mikeski at May 15, 2026 10:31 PM (VHUov)


That Heinz 56 tastes like ass.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 15, 2026 10:34 PM (2WIwB)

70 64 What about a Manatee Team?
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 15, 2026 10:31 PM (LmPA0)
----
Twenty bucks, same as in town.

(Obligatory)

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:34 PM (LxER7)

71 There's talk that "Maddy" is AI.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 15, 2026 10:35 PM (gKWVE)

72 56 Are there Seal Teams 1-5?
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 15, 2026 10:28 PM (LmPA0)

There WERE just two SEAL teams, one West Coast and one East. Seal Team Six is the Development Group (DEVGRU) that was the real speartip who developed tactics to spread through the rest of the SEAL community. Team Six got all the hairy missions.

I don't know how many Teams there actually are now but they expanded, and contracted, during GWOT.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 15, 2026 10:35 PM (xcxpd)

73 Spawn loved the old timer doing 3-gun. 😍

Posted by: lin-duh is offended at May 15, 2026 10:36 PM (VCgbV)

74 The BIG girl: pituitary gigantism? She’s well proportioned, so maybe she’s just Dutch.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 15, 2026 10:36 PM (ZVgZ4)

75 71 There's talk that "Maddy" is AI.
Posted by: gKWVE at May 15, 2026 10:35 PM (gKWVE)

Might be, I've seen some tall girls who were clearly AI, but this one seems to actually duck under doorways. I'd like to learn more.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 15, 2026 10:36 PM (xcxpd)

76 Cure 81 Hams are pretty decent, but Cures 1 thru 80 weren’t too good, specifically

Posted by: Common Tater at May 15, 2026 10:37 PM (bNzW0)

77 Can’t thank Gary until I get the brain cell!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 15, 2026 10:37 PM (ZVgZ4)

78 Also is Delta Force part of an Alpha Bravo Charlie series or Alpha Beta Gamma alphabet?

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 15, 2026 10:37 PM (LmPA0)

79 I don't know but I treasure my Barack Seal Team 6 Action Figure.

Posted by: wth at May 15, 2026 10:38 PM (oq9dX)

80 Are there Seal Teams 1-5?
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport

Things did not work out... optimally.
Same with TFs Alpha - Charlie.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:39 PM (/lPRQ)

81 Hard to imagine a more embarrassing incident to explain than a shark attack in Iowa.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 15, 2026 10:39 PM (viF8m)

82 78 Also is Delta Force part of an Alpha Bravo Charlie series or Alpha Beta Gamma alphabet?
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 15, 2026 10:37 PM (LmPA0)

Delta is Army.
SEALS are Navy.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 15, 2026 10:40 PM (xcxpd)

83 Also, don't ask about what happened to the testers for Preparations A through G.
Posted by: mikeski


Heinz 1 thru 56...

A-1 was a success though.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:40 PM (/lPRQ)

84 I think dancing with Maddy would be fun, I promise to not motorboat.

Posted by: wth at May 15, 2026 10:41 PM (oq9dX)

85 Motorboat what? Maddy's navel?
...brb

Posted by: gKWVE at May 15, 2026 10:42 PM (gKWVE)

86 Hey, All.

Anyone know why the flags in VA were at half staff today?

Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 10:42 PM (77rzZ)

87 Cool ONT bro.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 15, 2026 10:43 PM (CHHv1)

88 I don't know if Piper's around, but she could always prep a Katie Porter Moooooo-Moooooo fashion set if Doof's causing her headaches.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 15, 2026 10:43 PM (qx7Zg)

89 Delta is the guys who look like roadies for Slayer.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic at May 15, 2026 10:44 PM (0aYVJ)

90 I think dancing with Maddy would be fun, I promise to not motorboat.

Mess around with Maddy you will regret it.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 15, 2026 10:46 PM (ZVgZ4)

91 86 Hey, All.

Anyone know why the flags in VA were at half staff today?
Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 10:42 PM (77rzZ)

Teacher (I think) shooting somewhere.

The White Witch sheds icicles.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:46 PM (LxER7)

92 Annie Oakley didn't put her hand inside the lever either.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 15, 2026 10:47 PM (9EFgU)

93 Anyone know why the flags in VA were at half staff today?
Posted by: Bulg

They are mourning the death of real democracy.
Their democracy that is -


Supreme Court Denies Virginia Democrats’ Bid to Revive Illegally Gerrymandered Congressional Map

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:47 PM (/lPRQ)

94 Hello, Horde! Back from a week in NYC, and before that a long weekend in Salt Lake City at a Cholangiocarcinoma Conference. Going to Galveston this weekend to see Jeff Foxworthy. After that, I will be home for a while....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at May 15, 2026 10:47 PM (RiICY)

95 Anyone know why the flags in VA were at half staff today?
Posted by: Bulg

Peace Officers Memorial Day

Posted by: Tuna at May 15, 2026 10:48 PM (lJ0H4)

96 Don’t ask about teams Alpha, Bravo, and Charlie, and don’t ask about Seal Teams 1-5.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 15, 2026 10:48 PM (ZVgZ4)

97 I looked it up. Peace Officers Memorial Day in Virginia

Posted by: Lirio100 at May 15, 2026 10:49 PM (ky7/T)

98 Hello, Horde! Back from a week in NYC, and before that a long weekend in Salt Lake City at a Cholangiocarcinoma Conference. Going to Galveston this weekend to see Jeff Foxworthy. After that, I will be home for a while....
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at May 15, 2026 10:47 PM (RiICY)

How many of the "You Might Be a Redneck" jokes are you expecting to match ;-) ?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 15, 2026 10:49 PM (qx7Zg)

99 Bull sharks, which tolerate fresh water well, used to ascend the Mississippi as far as Illinois/Iowa. As I understand it, they can’t do that anymore due to damn construction:

Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 10:50 PM (77rzZ)

100 Motorboat what? Maddy's navel?
...brb
Posted by: gKWVE
......

Think she'd let me hump her leg like a poodle?

Posted by: wth at May 15, 2026 10:51 PM (oq9dX)

101 Teresa, it's always good to hear about your travels and activities. I couldn't keep up!

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 15, 2026 10:51 PM (Jr+re)

102 So, what is a “Peace Officer?”

Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 10:51 PM (77rzZ)

103 Bull sharks. I miss them.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 15, 2026 10:51 PM (6C3mT)

104 AOP followed the pace car and ended up in Kansas.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at May 15, 2026 10:52 PM (D1E+2)

105 What did the fish say when it hit a wall?
.
.
.
Dam.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 15, 2026 10:52 PM (2Ez/1)

106 Gina Carano is baaaack! She looks great.

https://tinyurl.com/4kr54hke

Posted by: runner at May 15, 2026 10:28 PM (GD0B3)

If you say so.
Posted by: Pedro Pascal at May 15, 2026 10:31 PM (vSvIl)


Jeez!
What a hom...errr...never mind.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 15, 2026 10:52 PM (2WIwB)

107 Date Maddy and find out what a dwarf man thinks dating a regular sized woman.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 15, 2026 10:52 PM (ZVgZ4)

108 99 dam construction

Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 10:52 PM (77rzZ)

109 Cool ONT bro.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 15, 2026 10:43 PM (CHHv1)
---
Be ashamed if something happened to it!

Posted by: Two Guys from Jersey at May 15, 2026 10:53 PM (Fi81e)

110 God bless you TIFW. I always remember you in my weekly prayer meetings. In less reverent terms: keep on truckin’!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 15, 2026 10:55 PM (ZVgZ4)

111 Hard to imagine a more embarrassing incident to explain than a shark attack in Iowa
——-

I bet there’s a Code for that

Posted by: Common Tater at May 15, 2026 10:56 PM (bNzW0)

112 I think it might be a national remembrance, the Governess of Iowa has done the same

Posted by: Common Tater at May 15, 2026 10:57 PM (bNzW0)

113 Paul Sperry @paulsperry_
·

BREAKING: Declassified FBI docs expose the malfeasance of Judge Boasberg who offered dirty FBI agent Kevin Clinesmith the excuse he was just innocently taking a "short-cut" to save time when he changed the wording in a CIA email that would have exculpated Trump adviser Carter Page b/c the new docs show Clinesmith also w/h exculpatory evidence on another Trump aide--Walid Phares--proving such corrupt behavior was his M.O., not a one-off, as Boasberg made it seem.

Boasberg gave Clinesmith, a fellow Democrat, no jail-time for his felony. Clinesmith's back practicing law, and Boasberg is still on the bench.
---
Fucking Boasberg.

Posted by: Axeman at May 15, 2026 10:58 PM (Fi81e)

114
Boasberg gave Clinesmith, a fellow Democrat, no jail-time for his felony. Clinesmith's back practicing law, and Boasberg is still on the bench.

Posted by: Axeman

================

See? Nothing happens.

Posted by: Blonde Mortixtl at May 15, 2026 10:59 PM (XJ22o)

115 So, what is a “Peace Officer?”
Posted by: Bulg


Stupid peace gets outta hand, dont'cha know?

Posted by: Count Dracul at May 15, 2026 10:59 PM (diia5)

116 99 Bull sharks, which tolerate fresh water well, used to ascend the Mississippi as far as Illinois/Iowa. As I understand it, they can’t do that anymore due to damn construction:
Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 10:50 PM (77rzZ)
----
One of my kids did a semester abroad in Brisbane, Australia, a couple years back. Same deal about sharks and golf course water hazards.

Not that it impacted her, as she was trying to figure out the rules of Australian Football and coming to the conclusion that there aren't any....

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at May 15, 2026 10:59 PM (LxER7)

117
Lots of shit happening.

Unbelievable

Posted by: four seasons at May 15, 2026 11:00 PM (3ek7K)

118 After that, I will be home for a while....
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake,
---

You could have dropped us a card, you know.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 15, 2026 11:00 PM (9EFgU)

119 The flag is at half-staff so often that I no longer bother to find out why.

It has lost all meaning, Did Barney Frank's boy-toy die? Golly.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic at May 15, 2026 11:01 PM (0aYVJ)

120 102 So, what is a “Peace Officer?”
Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 10:51 PM (77rzZ)

An officer that 'keeps the peace'. You know, a copper.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 15, 2026 11:01 PM (xcxpd)

121 The older man shooting three gun: his scooting was a little slow, but his shooting was spot on!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 15, 2026 11:01 PM (ZVgZ4)

122
Dogs fed and taken care of, evening prayers said. Good night, Hordians.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 15, 2026 11:02 PM (HdYcL)

123 See? Nothing happens.

Posted by: Blonde Mortixtl at May 15, 2026 10:59 PM (XJ22o)
---
That's my line.

Posted by: Guy Who Always Says Nothing's Going to Happen at May 15, 2026 11:02 PM (Fi81e)

124 Not that it impacted her, as she was trying to figure out the rules of Australian Football and coming to the conclusion that there aren't any....
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher


The refs have to wear white fedoras. That's it.
( now watch someone correct my kapélology. )

Posted by: Count Dracul at May 15, 2026 11:03 PM (diia5)

125 It has lost all meaning, Did Barney Frank's boy-toy die? Golly.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic at May 15, 2026 11:01 PM (0aYVJ)

------------

Since Harvey Milk's tragic death there was never any good reason to return the flag to full staff.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 15, 2026 11:03 PM (6C3mT)

126 If you say so.
Posted by: Pedro Pascal at May 15, 2026 10:31 PM (vSvIl)


Jeez!
What a hom...errr...never mind.
Posted by: Diogenes
---

Repulsive?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 15, 2026 11:04 PM (9EFgU)

127 122 G’night, Hadrian. Sleep well.

Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 11:04 PM (77rzZ)

128 Only half the hostages will die, tops.

Posted by: Spetsnaz at May 15, 2026 11:05 PM (4NO2D)

129 Never express an ewok's anal gland within 50' of a public food establishment.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at May 15, 2026 11:05 PM (D1E+2)

130 >>Bull sharks, which tolerate fresh water well, used to ascend the Mississippi as far as Illinois/Iowa. As I understand it, they can’t do that anymore due to damn construction:

Bull sharks scare me much more than Great Whites or Makos. They are psychos that will chase you right up to the shore. Evil creatures.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 15, 2026 11:05 PM (viF8m)

131 The refs have to wear white fedoras. That's it.
( now watch someone correct my kapélology. )

Posted by: Count Dracul at May 15, 2026 11:03 PM (diia5)
---
I think they frown on Weapons of Mass Destruction on the field.

Posted by: Axeman at May 15, 2026 11:06 PM (Fi81e)

132 Bull sharks scare me much more than Great Whites or Makos. They are psychos that will chase you right up to the shore. Evil creatures.

They're probably just thinking, "Long pig, the other white meat."

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at May 15, 2026 11:07 PM (+9wcF)

133 >> Also is Delta Force part of an Alpha Bravo Charlie series or Alpha Beta Gamma alphabet?

That prompted me to look this up, and as I suspected, my eyes began to glaze over. Some aspects of military nomenclature and hierarchy makes sense to me, and some don't and I get all confusitated. May be because I'm getting to be 29.

Anyway, it comes from the Alpha, Bravo, Charlie series, A, B, C, D. But in a convoluted way.

You've got your basic platoon, company, battalion, regiment/brigade/group whatever hierarchy, and that gets sort of complex. I don't think regiments really exist as operational units, but I'm not sure.

At any rate, Army Special Forces, the whole, is a division sized unit. On a chart, that is divided into Groups, but they use a regiment symbol (III). Each regiment is divided into battalions. Now, they divide the battalions into C, B, and A "teams". This is where A-team comes from. The A-team is a small operational group. The B team is the company HQ, and the C-team is the battalion HQ.

Somehow Delta force got called the "D team", or SFOD-D, supposedly to obfuscate a bit, and make it look like some normal additional "team" level or something.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at May 15, 2026 11:07 PM (w6EFb)

134 As much damage as bull sharks would do to you, an average jet would do more.

Posted by: Axeman at May 15, 2026 11:08 PM (Fi81e)

135 The older man shooting three gun: his scooting was a little slow, but his shooting was spot on

Ayup. Speed is fine. Accuracy is final.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 15, 2026 11:09 PM (bNzW0)

136 Repulsive?
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 15, 2026 11:04 PM (9EFgU)

Looks like Bruce Jenner.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 15, 2026 11:11 PM (1Ff7Z)

137 115 So, what is a “Peace Officer?”
Posted by: Bulg

Stupid peace gets outta hand, dont'cha know?
Posted by: Count Dracul at May 15, 2026 10:59 PM (diia5)

Peace Officers go patrolling and roust it wherever and whenever they can, demand its ID without any reasonable articulable suspicion of a crime, then arrest, beat, tase, and pepper spray it for resisting for asking what it did wrong.

Posted by: They shall cry peace, peace, and there is no peace at May 15, 2026 11:11 PM (TbWk/)

138 Boasberg gave Clinesmith, a fellow Democrat, no jail-time for his felony. Clinesmith's back practicing law, and Boasberg is still on the bench.
---
Fucking Boasberg.
Posted by: Axeman at May 15, 2026 10:58 PM (Fi81e)

Whut... just because he was the Judge who was in charge of the FISA court when they signed off on spying on Republican American Citizens? including some in Congress?

Totes OK... right.... right????

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 15, 2026 11:14 PM (mP0Kj)

139 Actually, maybe not as far north as Iowa. Only to Alton, Illinois, which seems to be across the Mighty Mississipp from Missouri. But still…

Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 11:15 PM (77rzZ)

140 Somehow Delta force got called the "D team", or SFOD-D, supposedly to obfuscate a bit, and make it look like some normal additional "team" level or something.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at May 15, 2026 11:07 PM (w6EFb)

Much like SEAL Team 6, they sit outside the normal chain hierarchy... mainly because their missions are often so classified they wanted to disguise what they were...

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 15, 2026 11:17 PM (mP0Kj)

141 >>As much damage as bull sharks would do to you, an average jet would do more.

Jets or jet skis don't usually hunt you. A Bull Shark will.

If they are around it's best to not be in the water.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 15, 2026 11:18 PM (viF8m)

142 JackStraw, maybe they just want your weed.

Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 11:19 PM (77rzZ)

143 Is this a good time to bring up lampreys?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 15, 2026 11:21 PM (6C3mT)

144 143

No.
— Zombie Henry I

Posted by: Bulg at May 15, 2026 11:24 PM (77rzZ)

145 Lampreys are kind of awesome in a way. The Democrat Party should adopt them as their Spirit Animal for themselves and their voters.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 15, 2026 11:25 PM (CHHv1)

146 116:Not that it impacted her, as she was trying to figure out the rules of Australian Football and coming to the conclusion that there aren't any....
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher



Heh! Co-worker and I used to do the same thing on midshift. Got Fox Sports available and they show Aussie Rules Football.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at May 15, 2026 11:25 PM (m5P/4)

147 123 See? Nothing happens.

Posted by: Blonde Mortixtl at May 15, 2026 10:59 PM (XJ22o)
---
That's my line.
Posted by: Guy Who Always Says Nothing's Going to Happen
---

Now that she is transmutating into Aztecian being, only tzompantli will satisfy.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 15, 2026 11:26 PM (9EFgU)

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