Mid-Morning Art Thread

Calm Sea
Simon de Vlieger

Posted by: CBD at 09:30 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Lots of empty space.

Posted by: Delurker at May 22, 2026 09:30 AM (gtcuf)

2 Keep
Clam

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 22, 2026 09:31 AM (o6bhz)

3 Nothing angry about that one....

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 22, 2026 09:31 AM (jehhT)

4 There's a giant ball of yarn on the sailboat. What's that all about?

Posted by: huerfano at May 22, 2026 09:33 AM (VJX5o)

5 You know what those boats need? The corvus

Posted by: Some Roman at May 22, 2026 09:33 AM (sKqQm)

6 2 Keep
Clam

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 22, 2026 09:31 AM (o6bhz)

=====

Fine, but I'm not going to carry on.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 09:33 AM (46HP8)

7 Yes, it is a calm sea and the golden sail sets off the rest of the painting. I am not familiar with that artist. I'll have to look up some of his other works.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 22, 2026 09:33 AM (n3VHW)

8 The sea was in a good mood that day, my friends.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at May 22, 2026 09:34 AM (k4EKw)

9 His given name was Simon Pietersz van Zwet Bolleweck

I can see why he changed it to de Vlieger ("The Flyer.")

Posted by: Delurker at May 22, 2026 09:34 AM (gtcuf)

10 Keep
Clam

And oyster on

Posted by: 18-1 at May 22, 2026 09:34 AM (sKqQm)

11 Looks like the standard bearer for the Iranian fleet.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at May 22, 2026 09:34 AM (0nHVk)

12 I like this.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 22, 2026 09:34 AM (NpAcC)

13 Nice.

Posted by: Bulg at May 22, 2026 09:34 AM (77rzZ)

14 Lovely fluffy clouds.

Posted by: Tuna at May 22, 2026 09:34 AM (lJ0H4)

15 Calm down
Like this one
Very simple
Would hang
Thx CBD

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 22, 2026 09:35 AM (gu0hJ)

16 I need some calm in my life right now.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 22, 2026 09:35 AM (NpAcC)

17 4 There's a giant ball of yarn on the sailboat. What's that all about?

Kept the ships' cats happy.

Posted by: Delurker at May 22, 2026 09:35 AM (gtcuf)

18 This is the sort of painting that would be used for the cover of a baroque music CD.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at May 22, 2026 09:35 AM (k4EKw)

19 Vlieger? I barely knew her!

Posted by: Bulg at May 22, 2026 09:35 AM (77rzZ)

20 This is lovely!
I'd like to be there right now.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 22, 2026 09:35 AM (X8xt3)

21 matt damon...

Matt Damon

MATT DAMON

Posted by: Matt Damon acting his heart out as Odysseus on the high seas at May 22, 2026 09:36 AM (sKqQm)

22 If you want to play in the art thread
You gotta have a boat in the art.

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 09:36 AM (uEmCf)

23 The sea was calm that day, my friends.

Posted by: George Costanza at May 22, 2026 09:36 AM (2Ez/1)

24 Would make a tough jigsaw puzzle, though an uninteresting one.

Posted by: In The Doldrums at May 22, 2026 09:36 AM (oftw2)

25 Out: Snoop Dog

In: Sloop Dog

Posted by: 18-1 at May 22, 2026 09:36 AM (sKqQm)

26 Lateen much?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 09:37 AM (/aIhy)

27 24 Would make a tough jigsaw puzzle, though an uninteresting one.

Posted by: In The Doldrums at May 22, 2026 09:36 AM (oftw2)

=======

It's an interesting measure of art.

But it is a measure.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 09:37 AM (46HP8)

28 Row row row your boat
Gently down the sea
Fuckity fuckity fuckity
To think this happened to me

Posted by: gKWVE at May 22, 2026 09:37 AM (tL5sl)

29 Only Vulgar Boatmen, and no Boobs for Bulg.

Posted by: Two Thumbs Down at May 22, 2026 09:37 AM (oftw2)

30 Yes; The artist liked boats and skies. Other nice paintings as well.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 22, 2026 09:38 AM (n3VHW)

31 Need some nautical help here.
How many masts, sails, booms and rigging are we looking at?
It's rather confusing.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at May 22, 2026 09:39 AM (2Ez/1)

32 I have the answer to the lack of wind power.

Posted by: Ole Evinrude at May 22, 2026 09:39 AM (oftw2)

33 Per Wiki: "He and his sister both adopted 'De Vlieger' (The Flyer) as a professional or artist's surname. It was common in this period for artists and writers to do so, to try to stand out in competitive fields."

This guy died in 1653. I did not realize that pseudonyms went back that far, especially for painters.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at May 22, 2026 09:39 AM (XvL8K)

34 If you look closely on the far right you can see Thomas Massie telling his boat mate it was da Joos that cost him his job...

Posted by: 18-1 at May 22, 2026 09:40 AM (sKqQm)

35
Oh! Is it Christopher Cross Day already?

*puts on fake captain's hat*

*grabs Ice cold beer*

*sings*

Sailing
Takes me away to where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
Soon I will be free
...

Posted by: naturalfake at May 22, 2026 09:40 AM (iJfKG)

36 Is it a sloop or a fluyt?

Posted by: Delurker at May 22, 2026 09:40 AM (gtcuf)

37 Looks like Brandy goes home early today since all the sailors are stuck out at sea in a flat calm.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at May 22, 2026 09:40 AM (k4EKw)

38 Hang on sloopy

Hang on

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 22, 2026 09:40 AM (jehhT)

39 I see six boats...

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 09:41 AM (mDGAX)

40
This guy died in 1653. I did not realize that pseudonyms went back that far, especially for painters

----------

*ahem*

Titian
Tintoretto
Canaletto

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 09:41 AM (/aIhy)

41 Simple. But I like it.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 22, 2026 09:42 AM (bss/y)

42 39 I see six boats...
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 09:41 AM (mDGAX)

And I want them painted black...

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 09:42 AM (uEmCf)

43 My grandfather and me.

Posted by: We came on the Sloop John B at May 22, 2026 09:42 AM (2Ez/1)

44 I like big boats and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a sloop sails in with an itty bitty mast
And a round keel in your face, you get sprung

Posted by: Sir Mix A Lot at May 22, 2026 09:42 AM (sKqQm)

45 Parmigianino.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 09:42 AM (mDGAX)

46 That's about as exciting as a damp paper towel.

Posted by: fd at May 22, 2026 09:43 AM (vFG9F)

47 >>Sailing
Takes me away to where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
Soon I will be free
- - - -
When you see the Southern Cross for the first time
You understand now why you came this way
'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from is so small
But it's as big as the promise, the promise of a comin' day

So I'm sailing for tomorrow my dreams are a dyin'
And my love is an anchor tied to you tied with a silver chain
I have my ship and all her flags are a' flyin'
She is all that I have left and music is her name

Posted by: Lizzy at May 22, 2026 09:43 AM (X8xt3)

48 40
This guy died in 1653. I did not realize that pseudonyms went back that far, especially for painters

----------

*ahem*

Titian
Tintoretto
Canaletto
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 09:41 AM (/aIhy)

Coronetto
Arigato

Posted by: naturalfake at May 22, 2026 09:43 AM (iJfKG)

49 What the hull are we looking at?

Posted by: Oh, no... at May 22, 2026 09:44 AM (2Ez/1)

50 Arigato

Domo. Domo.

Posted by: Delurker at May 22, 2026 09:44 AM (gtcuf)

51 When this was painted, Eva Vlaardingerbroek wasn't even a glint in her great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather's eye.

Posted by: Dutch Treat at May 22, 2026 09:44 AM (oftw2)

52 "Parmigianino"

Is that another one of those Italian cheeses?

Posted by: fd at May 22, 2026 09:44 AM (vFG9F)

53 *image taken moments before the Megalodon ate them all*

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 09:44 AM (uEmCf)

54 Any boat puns will be dealt with sternly.

Posted by: Bulg at May 22, 2026 09:45 AM (77rzZ)

55 52 "Parmigianino"

Is that another one of those Italian cheeses?

Posted by: fd at May 22, 2026 09:44 AM (vFG9F)

=======

I come from a universe where it's pronounced par-mee-see-an.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 09:45 AM (46HP8)

56 Don't get roped into nautical puns.

Posted by: Groan at May 22, 2026 09:45 AM (2Ez/1)

57 Screw these guys.

Posted by: The Spanish Military at May 22, 2026 09:46 AM (sKqQm)

58 This guy died in 1653. I did not realize that pseudonyms went back that far, especially for painters

Lots of reasons to use a pseudonym.

Posted by: Willie the Pimp at May 22, 2026 09:46 AM (oftw2)

59 Don't get roped into nautical puns.

I can't fathom that anyone here will

Posted by: 18-1 at May 22, 2026 09:46 AM (sKqQm)

60 Don't get roped into nautical puns.

I'll try to keep an even keel.

Posted by: Delurker at May 22, 2026 09:46 AM (gtcuf)

61 54 Any boat puns will be dealt with sternly.
Posted by: Bulg
$$$
I bow to your abilities.

Posted by: Groan at May 22, 2026 09:46 AM (2Ez/1)

62 A wine dark sea?

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 22, 2026 09:47 AM (xzBJP)

63 Title checks out.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 22, 2026 09:47 AM (Wnv9h)

64 Looks like the two guys in the foreground are running a drug smuggling operation.

I hope that the boat has an anchor with the sail up like that.

Posted by: dantesed at May 22, 2026 09:47 AM (Oy/m2)

65 No good story starts with, "The sea was calm that day..."

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 22, 2026 09:47 AM (RIvkX)

66 Very nice. Very precisely done, too, when you zoom in.

Posted by: t-bird at May 22, 2026 09:47 AM (XD+PD)

67 Knowing One's Strengths - a limerick

He couldn't paint tapestries. He couldn't paint shrouds.
He couldn't paint portraits. He couldn't paint crowds.
He couldn't paint feet.
Or a scene on a street.
But he sure as hell knew how to paint clouds.

Posted by: muldoon at May 22, 2026 09:47 AM (qgHp7)

68 It's days like this when the cabin boys require extra comforting.

Posted by: Captain Ned, The Raging Queen at May 22, 2026 09:47 AM (wVcYX)

69 54 Any boat puns will be dealt with sternly.
Posted by: Bulg
-----
30 days before the mast!

Posted by: Ahab at May 22, 2026 09:48 AM (2Ez/1)

70
Let's cover this space on the wall with grey and some smudges of brown on the bottom.

Wasn't there a sale of a Rothko this week for $65 mill?

Posted by: Auspex at May 22, 2026 09:48 AM (Y8DZL)

71 >>> Calm Sea

And then the Jaws music starts playing.

Posted by: No Name Today at May 22, 2026 09:48 AM (8mulE)

72 Any boat puns will be dealt with sternly.
Posted by: Bulg

By whipping one's aft?

Posted by: Tuna at May 22, 2026 09:48 AM (lJ0H4)

73 >>Don't get roped into nautical puns.

It provides the ballast we need from more serious topics.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 22, 2026 09:48 AM (X8xt3)

74 It's days like this when the cabin boys require extra comforting.

You ain't lying.

ALL ABOARD!

Posted by: Cap'n Bill Kristol at May 22, 2026 09:48 AM (sKqQm)

75 All of those are gouda.

Posted by: Guy who is stilt on cheese at May 22, 2026 09:49 AM (vFG9F)

76 >>Any boat puns will be dealt with sternly.

You run a tight ship!

Posted by: Lizzy at May 22, 2026 09:49 AM (X8xt3)

77 Yawl just can't help yourselves.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 09:49 AM (/aIhy)

78 Rudder ya gonna do about it?

Posted by: Delurker at May 22, 2026 09:49 AM (gtcuf)

79 68 It's days like this when the cabin boys require extra comforting
###
On the poop deck.

Posted by: With rum and the lash at May 22, 2026 09:49 AM (2Ez/1)

80 No good story starts with, "The sea was calm that day..."
Posted by: San Franpsycho

*********

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip...

Posted by: muldoon at May 22, 2026 09:49 AM (qgHp7)

81 Dutch nautical scene and no dikes. Disappointed.

Posted by: Little Dutch Boy at May 22, 2026 09:50 AM (oftw2)

82 Could use some happy little krakens frolicking in the background.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 22, 2026 09:50 AM (gnNyN)

83 Don't get roped into nautical puns.

You're mizzen the point of puns.

Posted by: dantesed at May 22, 2026 09:50 AM (Oy/m2)

84 His given name was Simon Pietersz van Zwet Bolleweck

I can see why he changed it to de Vlieger ("The Flyer.")

Yeah, "Of Sweaty Ballsack" would be tough to grow up with.

Posted by: t-bird at May 22, 2026 09:50 AM (XD+PD)

85 looks like a titan sheepishly meandering towards gojirra.

Posted by: cmeat at May 22, 2026 09:50 AM (R11M+)

86 Grimy boats
On the water
Smells like cheese

Posted by: Guy who is stilt on cheese at May 22, 2026 09:50 AM (vFG9F)

87 Where are the mermen?

Posted by: Miss Lindsay at May 22, 2026 09:51 AM (2Ez/1)

88 Which one is Calypso again?

Posted by: John Denver at May 22, 2026 09:51 AM (wVcYX)

89 i've seen calmer.

Posted by: cmeat at May 22, 2026 09:51 AM (R11M+)

90 After a tough day's fishing, come see us for your evening's repast.

Posted by: Hesh and Heidi's Nautical Nosh at May 22, 2026 09:51 AM (oftw2)

91 >>Rudder ya gonna do about it?

Scupper the entire thread?

*Nice one, btw!

Posted by: Lizzy at May 22, 2026 09:51 AM (X8xt3)

92 87 Where are the mermen?

Posted by: Miss Lindsay at May 22, 2026 09:51 AM (2Ez/1)

=======

*Blue Steel*
-Zoolander

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 09:51 AM (46HP8)

93 It was the damn strawberries I tell you!

Posted by: Bogart at May 22, 2026 09:54 AM (2Ez/1)

94 Back in my early 20s I was the warehouse manager of a discount store. One day the manager, assistant manager and I were talking and the store manager was complaining about how one of the stockboys took way to long to do anything. He said "Anything I give him to do, he turns it into a three hour chore."

After a beat, all three of us in perfect unison sang "A three hour chore." It was hivemind at its finest.

Posted by: Delurker at May 22, 2026 09:54 AM (gtcuf)

95 39 I see six boats...
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 09:41 AM (mDGAX)

I see seven. There's a sail poking up above the horizon.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 22, 2026 09:54 AM (bss/y)

96 During the artist's life (maybe a little before this painting) there was some "Rockin and a-rollin, splishin and a-splashin' Over the Horizon" Thank God.

Posted by: Rex B at May 22, 2026 09:54 AM (rgnea)

97 Wasn't there a sale of a Rothko this week for $65 mill?
Posted by: Auspex

$85.8 million, and the 'art' is laughable. A couple dark rectangles on a ruddy background.

Posted by: t-bird at May 22, 2026 09:55 AM (XD+PD)

98 Sailors belong on ships, and ships belong at sea.

Posted by: Navy mantra at May 22, 2026 09:55 AM (2Ez/1)

99 Sailors belong on ships

Or me

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at May 22, 2026 09:56 AM (sKqQm)

100 Could the guy paint windmills? Canals? Silver Skates?

Posted by: Hans Brinker at May 22, 2026 09:56 AM (oftw2)

101 Calm Sea
Simon de Vlieger

Beautiful; would hang. It looks like a photograph & I'm constantly amazed of great artistic talents hundreds and hundreds of years ago.
--
The Met
Calm Sea
Simon de Vlieger Dutch
after 1640
On view at The Met Fifth Avenue in Gallery 615

On the left the horizon line dissolves into a vast, becalmed sea, while fishermen ply their trade on the right. De Vlieger influenced later marine painters by working with a limited tonal range to achieve precisely calibrated effects of light in the sky and water. His observations of Northern European light established him as the master of a particularly local landscape, affirmed by the Dutch flag fluttering above the boat on the right.

Thanks. (Nice weekend start.)

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at May 22, 2026 09:57 AM (NFX2v)

102
I see six boats...

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 09:41 AM (mDGAX)

But....

There is no spoon.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 22, 2026 09:59 AM (iJfKG)

103 Fishmonger might work well in a limerick.

Posted by: Limerick lover at May 22, 2026 09:59 AM (2Ez/1)

104 Fresh fish! It's luverly!

Posted by: Unhygienix at May 22, 2026 09:59 AM (gnNyN)

105 A monger of fish in Nantucket...

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 09:59 AM (/aIhy)

106 Monger? I just met her!

Posted by: Bada bump at May 22, 2026 10:00 AM (2Ez/1)

107 Tom Homan says that the number of total departures is "in the millions".

https://x.com/derzum_/status/
2057646158076330275

DHS says that 3 million have left in the first 15 months of Trump's second term:

https://shorturl.at/jQhul

"But it's not every single one, besides Democrats will just bring them all back, so this is pointless."

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:01 AM (46HP8)

108 British judge praises good behavior of teens who gangraped two girls, lets them off without jail time
. . . .
Two 14-year-old boys targeted one of their victims, 15, on Snapchat before luring her to an underpass where they laughed and filmed themselves as they raped her.

Two months later the pair, this time joined by a third boy aged just 13, gang-raped a second schoolgirl at knifepoint while again recording the attack on their phones as they goaded each other to degrade her further.
. . . .
Two of the boys raped her for 90 minutes.

She said her tormentors 'kept switching', taking turns to abuse her, and laughing at her as they filmed each other.

-
Well, the British are known for their civility.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 22, 2026 10:01 AM (ndZc7)

109 Beautiful painting. Thanks for posting it.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at May 22, 2026 10:02 AM (ZgRq2)

110 This is a great painting to end the week. The artist really captured the feel of the ocean sky, the way the clouds form with the rising moisture from the sea and no breeze to disperse them. I can easily sense the quiet accentuated by the gentle water and occasional sounds from the boat. The gray color scheme ties sky and water together and makes the muted earth tones of the boat stand out without being jarring to the viewer. Everything is soft and gentle. It is delightfully peaceful.

It's worth enlarging the image to see the supple and delicate brush work. I need to see more of de Vlieger's art. Another example of why I consider the Dutch Golden Age paintings to be some of the greatest ever made.

Posted by: JTB at May 22, 2026 10:03 AM (yTvNw)

111 Hurry up! I think the US Navy is on to us!

Posted by: Venezuelan Drug Boat "Hombre Sucio " at May 22, 2026 10:03 AM (7d1L5)

112 A monger of fish in Nantucket...
-
Kept all his fish in a bucket

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 22, 2026 10:03 AM (ndZc7)

113 A monger of fish in Nantucket...
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 09:59 AM (/aIhy)

A monger of fish in Nantucket
Kept all of his bait in a bucket
To balance his pole
He fashioned a hole
And said I'm not good at limericks.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 22, 2026 10:03 AM (ExV1e)

114 She said her tormentors 'kept switching', taking turns to abuse her, and laughing at her as they filmed each other.

-
Well, the British are known for their civility.

---------

Judge: "Just lie back and think of England"

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 10:03 AM (6/7Fs)

115 112 A monger of fish in Nantucket...
-
Kept all his fish in a bucket

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 22, 2026 10:03 AM (ndZc7)

=====

I was going to come up with a rhyme,
gave up, and said fuck it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:03 AM (46HP8)

116 if the gunwales rockin'...

Posted by: cmeat at May 22, 2026 10:04 AM (R11M+)

117 Calm sea means it's rowboat time.

Posted by: DaveA at May 22, 2026 10:06 AM (FhXTo)

118 Posted by: Hans Brinker at May 22, 2026 09:56 AM

*****************

ABSINTHE MAKES THE FART...GO PONDER!

In a museum in the land of Hans Brinker
Sits a flatulent fine absinthe drinker
He's there...
On the 'throne'...
With his thoughts...
All alone.
Making scents of it all. It's "The Thtinker"!

Posted by: muldoon at May 22, 2026 10:06 AM (qgHp7)

119 Well, I'm glad that's settled.

Hunter Biden and Candace Owens Seem to Agree That All the Assassination Attempts on Trump Were Staged

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 22, 2026 10:06 AM (ndZc7)

120 A monger of fish in Nantucket
Kept all of his bait in a bucket
He worked on a rhyme
In the scales and the slime
But he finally gave up and said fuck it

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 10:06 AM (6/7Fs)

121 And over here we'll add a busty figurehead to this happy boat.

-Bulg Ross

Posted by: Rex B at May 22, 2026 10:06 AM (rgnea)

122 117 Calm sea means it's rowboat time.

Posted by: DaveA at May 22, 2026 10:06 AM (FhXTo)

======

Real men reserve rowboat time for hurricanes.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:06 AM (46HP8)

123 Thanks to all!

Posted by: Limerick lover at May 22, 2026 10:10 AM (2Ez/1)

124 Nether Lands, Indeed! - a limerick

A certain young Amsterdam drinker
Turned out to be really a stinker
He slipped her a julep
And grabbed at her tulips
Ever after was known as "Hands" Brinker

Posted by: muldoon at May 22, 2026 10:10 AM (qgHp7)

125 Well, the British are known for their civility.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 22, 2026 10:01 AM (ndZc7)

The York Pogrom wasn't civil.

If native Brits don't start killing these rapists, the country is gone...and it probably is anyway.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 10:10 AM (mDGAX)

126 A monger of fish in Nantucket...
-
Kept all his fish in a bucket

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 22, 2026 10:03 AM (ndZc7)

he needed to shit
had no place to sit
so he dumped them all out and said fuck it

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 22, 2026 10:11 AM (snZF9)

127 It's pure coincidence that I am in the midst of preparing a limerick retrospective of the life and times of Hans Brinker.

Posted by: muldoon at May 22, 2026 10:11 AM (qgHp7)

128 If people were saying the immigration system was broken because court cases took too long, then wouldn’t Trump adding 82 new immigration judges be considered a good thing?

It is good that new judges are being added but why did it take almost a year to do so? A good executive would've have the necessary support structure built and ready to go before executing the round-up phase of the project.

Simply put, the current admin's aim was to never fix it in the first place.

Republicans are trying to break the system even more by stacking the courts with reich wing ideologue hell bent on harming real Americans and innocent brown people by filling concentrations camps like the Nazis did.

It speeds up the type of immigration enforcement Trump and conservatives want. Don’t forget what they tried to do to Kilmar Abrego Garcia.

The funny thing is that this could've happened back in 2024 with the Border Act of 2024 that was trying to legislatively resolve this issue. What happen? MAGA Republicans relented to Trump's crying and blocked this bill from passing.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 22, 2026 10:11 AM (ycI94)

129 Hunter Biden and Candace Owens Seem to Agree That All the Assassination Attempts on Trump Were Staged
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks

Glad that brain trust was able to settle the issue.

Posted by: Auspex at May 22, 2026 10:12 AM (Y8DZL)

130 125 kill rapists. precisely. not difficult.

Posted by: cmeat at May 22, 2026 10:12 AM (R11M+)

131 This is about me, isn't it?

Posted by: A monger of fish in Nantucket at May 22, 2026 10:14 AM (2Ez/1)

132 Republicans are trying to break the system even more by stacking the courts with reich wing ideologue hell bent on harming real Americans and innocent brown people by filling concentrations camps like the Nazis did.

---------

Oops. Cheezit fellas. The jig is up!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 10:14 AM (6/7Fs)

133 128 It is good that new judges are being added but why did it take almost a year to do so? A good executive would've have the necessary support structure built and ready to go before executing the round-up phase of the project.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 22, 2026 10:11 AM (ycI94)

=========

Trump fired a bunch who kept granting asylum to bullshit claims.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:14 AM (46HP8)

134 missed oppo: should have said keel rapists.

Posted by: cmeat at May 22, 2026 10:15 AM (R11M+)

135 132 Republicans are trying to break the system even more by stacking the courts with reich wing ideologue hell bent on harming real Americans and innocent brown people by filling concentrations camps like the Nazis did.

---------

Oops. Cheezit fellas. The jig is up!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 10:14 AM (6/7Fs)

=======

Nazi concentration camps where the people can voluntarily leave any time as long as they agree to go back to their home country, having no rights to be in this country at all.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:15 AM (46HP8)

136 125 If native Brits don't start killing these rapists, the country is gone...and it probably is anyway.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 10:10 AM (mDGAX)

Who will be the first nation to rise up against Islam?

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:15 AM (uEmCf)

137 Is that the Royall Navy?

Posted by: Boss Moss at May 22, 2026 10:15 AM (zH1JV)

138 It speeds up the type of immigration enforcement Trump and conservatives want. Don’t forget what they tried to do to Kilmar Abrego Garcia.

---------

You can tell a man's character by who he idolizes.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 10:16 AM (6/7Fs)

139 134 missed oppo: should have said keel rapists.
Posted by: cmeat

Native Brits will not keel.

Posted by: Doug Marcaida at May 22, 2026 10:16 AM (ycI94)

140 is that spinnaker luffing?

Posted by: cmeat at May 22, 2026 10:16 AM (R11M+)

141 128 Republicans are trying to break the system even more by stacking the courts with reich wing ideologue hell bent on harming real Americans and innocent brown people by filling concentrations camps like the Nazis did

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 22, 2026 10:11 AM (ycI94)

You see what happened there? Even THEY just said that they don't believe that "browns" aren't "real Americans".

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:17 AM (uEmCf)

142 Nazi concentration camps where the people can voluntarily leave any time as long as they agree to go back to their home country, having no rights to be in this country at all.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

This IS their home country now! The poem!!!

Posted by: Retarded Leftists at May 22, 2026 10:17 AM (ycI94)

143 ...screwed up with the double negative.

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:17 AM (uEmCf)

144 138 It speeds up the type of immigration enforcement Trump and conservatives want. Don’t forget what they tried to do to Kilmar Abrego Garcia.

---------

You can tell a man's character by who he idolizes.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 22, 2026 10:16 AM (6/7Fs)

======

Garcia has no legal right to be in America, had a bullshit asylum claim, and as that fight has been dragged out in a district court with no jurisdiction, literally hundreds of thousands of others have been forcibly deported.

Narrative vs. policy.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:17 AM (46HP8)

145 142 This IS their home country now! The poem!!!
Posted by: Retarded Leftists at May 22, 2026 10:17 AM (ycI94)

The Huddled Masses!!!
THE HUDDLED MASSES!!!!

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:18 AM (uEmCf)

146 142 Nazi concentration camps where the people can voluntarily leave any time as long as they agree to go back to their home country, having no rights to be in this country at all.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

This IS their home country now! The poem!!!

Posted by: Retarded Leftists at May 22, 2026 10:17 AM (ycI94)

======

The lightly proffered laurel,
The easy, ungrudged praise.
Comes now, to search your manhood
Through all the thankless years,
Cold-edged with dear-bought wisdom,
The judgement of your peers.

That one?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:18 AM (46HP8)

147 Garcia has no legal right to be in America, had a bullshit asylum claim, and as that fight has been dragged out in a district court with no jurisdiction, literally hundreds of thousands of others have been forcibly deported.

Narrative vs. policy.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

I look forward to a flaming skull post in the future when he is finally removed.

Posted by: Moron Analyst at May 22, 2026 10:18 AM (ycI94)

148 Who will be the first nation to rise up against Islam?

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:15 AM (uEmCf)

That shit doesn’t happen in Israel.

My money was on France, but now? Who knows...maybe nobody.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 10:19 AM (mDGAX)

149
Mrs. Fishmonger's Lament - a limerick

I can't stand the boredom much longer
The odor just keeps getting stronger
My mish smells like fish
Oh dear how I wish
I never had wed the fishmonger!

Posted by: muldoon at May 22, 2026 10:19 AM (qgHp7)

150 Your honor, my client was just trying to breathe free.

Posted by: Rex B at May 22, 2026 10:19 AM (rgnea)

151 The Huddled Masses!!!
THE HUDDLED MASSES!!!!
Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:18 AM (uEmCf)
---
Did you mean "rabble"?

Posted by: AxemanAI at May 22, 2026 10:19 AM (Fi81e)

152 Damn Christian dads!

In a new interview with Variety, Alcock discussed the backlash surrounding her rise to the lead role in DC Studios’ upcoming “Supergirl” movie and said she has learned to tune out online outrage as scrutiny around blockbuster franchises intensifies.

“But I mean, whose opinion do you really care about?” Alcock said. “If you’re p—ing the right kind of people off, you’re doing OK.”

The actress suggested much of the hostility directed toward her comes from faceless social media users reacting emotionally online.

“And it’s from a lot of people whose profiles have no photo, who are burner accounts,” Alcock said. “Or someone’s name and then ‘Dad of four, Christian,’ which is hilarious to me.”

-
Colbert level hilarious!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 22, 2026 10:20 AM (ndZc7)

153 ...I wish
I never had wed the fishmonger!

*********

It turns out she did it just for the halibut.

Posted by: muldoon at May 22, 2026 10:20 AM (qgHp7)

154 148 Who will be the first nation to rise up against Islam?

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:15 AM (uEmCf)

That shit doesn’t happen in Israel.

My money was on France, but now? Who knows...maybe nobody.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 10:19 AM (mDGAX)

=====

Dark horse:

Spain.

Just...a whole lot of pissed off Franco die-hards deciding to go full secessionist and revolutionary.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:20 AM (46HP8)

155 I look forward to a flaming skull post in the future when he is finally removed.
Posted by: Moron Analyst at May 22, 2026 10:18 AM (ycI94)

Simplest solution: he is found shot dead on the street, blame placed upon rival gang bangers.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 22, 2026 10:21 AM (8zz6B)

156 Wakes up
Scratches
Looks around
Dang. Nice art. Would hang. And surf 'n turf tonight.
Goes looking for coffee.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 22, 2026 10:21 AM (2WIwB)

157 probably read this here... the talmud allows for divorce if the husband becomes a fishmonger.

Posted by: cmeat at May 22, 2026 10:21 AM (R11M+)

158 Posted by: muldoon at May 22, 2026 10:20 AM (qgHp7)

You are on a roll!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 10:22 AM (mDGAX)

159 Who will be the first nation to rise up against Islam?

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:15 AM (uEmCf)

That shit doesn’t happen in Israel.

My money was on France, but now? Who knows...maybe nobody.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 10:19 AM (mDGAX)

=====

Dark horse:

Spain.

Just...a whole lot of pissed off Franco die-hards deciding to go full secessionist and revolutionary.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:20 AM

***

If they get this far, it'll be the 42nd Street militia.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 22, 2026 10:23 AM (2WIwB)

160 Starmer out by June 30 is still only at 30% on Polymarket, but Burnham stands for election on June 18. I don't know if that means bettors think he's going to lose, or if 12 days isn't enough to swap leadership after the election.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at May 22, 2026 10:23 AM (XvL8K)

161 Well, the British are known for their civility.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 22, 2026 10:01 AM (ndZc7)
---
Which is evident from Game of Thrones, inspired by British History.

I mean, okay, there's a Red Wedding or two, here and there....

Posted by: Axeman at May 22, 2026 10:23 AM (Fi81e)

162 *Simplest solution: he is found shot dead on the street, blame placed upon rival gang bangers.*

And police suspect fair play.

Posted by: In the words of Dennis Miller at May 22, 2026 10:23 AM (2Ez/1)

163 4 There's a giant ball of yarn on the sailboat. What's that all about?

Posted by: huerfano at May 22, 2026 09:33 AM (VJX5o)

Sailors' yarns.

Posted by: Gref at May 22, 2026 10:24 AM (5rh/l)

164 Dark horse:

Spain.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:20 AM (46HP

I think all of the tough rightists in Spain have been marginalized by the commies. Franco beat them, but they waited and waited...

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 10:24 AM (mDGAX)

165 164 I think all of the tough rightists in Spain have been marginalized by the commies. Franco beat them, but they waited and waited...

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 10:24 AM (mDGAX)

=======

They wouldn't need a majority.

Just a few thousand to say..."We've got nothing left to lose. Reconquista."

But, you know, with lispy Spanish.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:25 AM (46HP8)

166 136. Who will be the first nation to rise up against Islam?
Posted by: XTC

Countries. Netherlands, Austria, Germany

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at May 22, 2026 10:25 AM (NFX2v)

167 151 The Huddled Masses!!!
THE HUDDLED MASSES!!!!
Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:18 AM (uEmCf)
---
Did you mean "rabble"?
Posted by: AxemanAI

Trump should start calling illegals "wretched refuse" from shithole countries.

Posted by: Moron Analyst at May 22, 2026 10:25 AM (ycI94)

168 There's a giant ball of yarn on the sailboat. What's that all about?

Posted by: huerfano at May 22, 2026 09:33 AM (VJX5o)
---
They're going after the "big cats".

Posted by: Axeman at May 22, 2026 10:25 AM (Fi81e)

169 "...the talmud allows for divorce if the husband becomes a fishmonger."
----
And she just can't stand it any longer!

Posted by: I can limerick, too! at May 22, 2026 10:26 AM (2Ez/1)

170 154 Dark horse:

Spain.

Just...a whole lot of pissed off Franco die-hards deciding to go full secessionist and revolutionary.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:20 AM (46HP

If people are waiting for them to become an Armed Insurgency first, I don't think that's going to happen. They're going to take over electorally.

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:26 AM (uEmCf)

171 CNN: Francesca Hong, a leading Democrat in the Wisconsin governor’s race, called for abolishing the police.

Hong, a 37-year-old state representative and democratic socialist, wrote on Twitter in 2020 she supported “defunding the police as a first step towards abolishing the police.”

She later argued in 2021 that “police exist to uphold white supremacy. Defund then abolish. Reform can’t be an option.”

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 22, 2026 10:26 AM (ndZc7)

172 I think all of the tough rightists in Spain have been marginalized by the commies. Franco beat them, but they waited and waited...
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 22, 2026 10:24 AM (mDGAX)

The muzzies blew up two street cars a few years back and Spain folded. They're done.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 22, 2026 10:27 AM (2WIwB)

173 Jesus spoke. The sea was calm that day.

Posted by: Eromero at May 22, 2026 10:27 AM (7RAhE)

174 171 CNN: Francesca Hong, a leading Democrat in the Wisconsin governor’s race, called for abolishing the police.

Hong, a 37-year-old state representative and democratic socialist, wrote on Twitter in 2020 she supported “defunding the police as a first step towards abolishing the police.”

She later argued in 2021 that “police exist to uphold white supremacy. Defund then abolish. Reform can’t be an option.”

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 22, 2026 10:26 AM (ndZc7)

=======

Those 2020 tweets are going to haunt Democrats for a while.

I remember there was some leftist commentator that was asking for a reprieve from using old tweets because they kept coming up to hurt Democrats.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:27 AM (46HP8)

175 Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 22, 2026 10:11 AM (ycI94)
---
Another thread that confirms Godwin's (statistical) Rule.

Posted by: Axeman at May 22, 2026 10:27 AM (Fi81e)

176 Getting off the fishmonger theme.

He Was a Shellfish Bastard - a whatchaccallit

The oyster monger Mortimer Tucks
Sold a dozen for 24 bucks
I said, "What the hell,
How d'ya open the shell?
He said, "Why it's easy! Ah shucks!"

Posted by: muldoon at May 22, 2026 10:29 AM (qgHp7)

177 I remember there was some leftist commentator that was asking for a reprieve from using old tweets because they kept coming up to hurt Democrats.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films

That's why the publishers are pushing against the Wayback Machine.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 22, 2026 10:29 AM (tL5sl)

178 Nefarious Republicans, trying to "break the system more" by enforcing laws still on the books that Democrats no longer want to be enforced.

You can just wish laws away right?

Posted by: Axeman at May 22, 2026 10:30 AM (Fi81e)

179 173 Jesus spoke. The sea was calm that day.
Posted by: Eromero at May 22, 2026 10:27 AM (7RAhE)

But then he wept, and a bunch of hooks and chains emerged from the Lament Configuration to rip Frank Cotton to pieces.

Posted by: XTC at May 22, 2026 10:30 AM (iXqHn)

180 177 I remember there was some leftist commentator that was asking for a reprieve from using old tweets because they kept coming up to hurt Democrats.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films

That's why the publishers are pushing against the Wayback Machine.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 22, 2026 10:29 AM (tL5sl)

======

At some point soon, we're going to get a Democrat House candidate who shared child pron on BlueSky, aren't we?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:30 AM (46HP8)

181 That Alcock chick is....weird looking.

Posted by: steevy at May 22, 2026 10:30 AM (YwEeS)

182 178 Nefarious Republicans, trying to "break the system more" by enforcing laws still on the books that Democrats no longer want to be enforced.

You can just wish laws away right?

Posted by: Axeman at May 22, 2026 10:30 AM (Fi81e)

=======

"Yes."
-the living constitution

"Holy shit, yes."
-the administrative state

"Fuck yeah."
-prosecutorial discretion

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:30 AM (46HP8)

183 I remember there was some leftist commentator that was asking for a reprieve from using old tweets because they kept coming up to hurt Democrats.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films

---
It's uncivil and totally uncalled for to call anybody a Nazi...who's not somebody they want to call a Nazi.

You just wonder some time how did simple faculties of self-reflection get so broken in them.

Posted by: Axeman at May 22, 2026 10:32 AM (Fi81e)

184 Mortimer tucks what?

Posted by: Oh, wait... at May 22, 2026 10:32 AM (2Ez/1)

185 183 You just wonder some time how did simple faculties of self-reflection get so broken in them.

Posted by: Axeman at May 22, 2026 10:32 AM (Fi81e)

======

They were coddled and therapied into not having it from the start.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at May 22, 2026 10:32 AM (46HP8)

186 That Alcock chick is....weird looking.
Posted by: steevy at May 22, 2026 10:30 AM (YwEeS)

Any chick who was all cock would be weird-looking.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 22, 2026 10:32 AM (8zz6B)

187 I KEEL YOU!

Posted by: Achmed The Uncalmed Terrorist at May 22, 2026 10:33 AM (XD+PD)

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