Hollywood: Shit or Garbarge?

Fantasy authors are getting crankier and louder in their criticism of the Hollywood Shit or Garbage Factory trashing their works.

Even The Hollywood Reporter is admitting this.

Fantasy Authors Are Not Playing: Creators Increasingly Call Out "Unfaithful" Adaptations
From 'House of the Dragon' to 'God of War' to 'The Witcher,' shows are getting smacked by creators for seeming to stray from source material. And there are reasons it's happening now.

Amazon Studios has to be at least a little thankful that J.R.R. Tolkien is no longer around.
First, the studio came under fire by best-selling fantasy author Brandon Sanderson for its Wheel of Time adaptation ("I had my problems with the show," Sanderson said last year. "I won't miss being largely ignored; they wanted my name on it for legitimacy ... it had a fan base that deserved better"). Then last month, the creator of the God of War video game, David Jaffe, savaged a first-look photo (above) from Prime Video's upcoming big-budget adaptation ("It is so bad in so many ways," Jaffe said in a YouTube rant. "Neither of these characters look very interesting or appealing. If this was God of War: Dumb and Dumber edition, this is what you would expect").
To be fair, Jaffe has been a critic of other God of War spinoff efforts since his involvement with the game ended nearly two decades ago, and he added that he trusts the Prime Video show's producer Ronald D. Moore to deliver. But given all the fandom debate that surrounded Amazon's first two seasons of its The Lord of the Rings prequel series, The Rings of Power, not having Tolkien rage-tweeting about the show's Harfoots has to be a blessing.
Prime Video is not alone in having a fantasy creator target its adaptation. The Witcher author Andrzej Sapkowski has repeatedly thrown passive barbs at Netflix's troubled series, saying things like the streamer "never listened to me" and "I cannot praise the show, it wouldn't be decent" (The Witcher also famously lost its star Henry Cavill amid still-murky circumstances, with the actor having hinted that fidelity to the source material was a core issue for him).
George R.R. Martin -- after years of dutifully holding his tongue over some things about Game of Thrones he wasn't thrilled with -- unleashed a dracarys on prequel House of the Dragon for its deviations from his book, Fire & Blood, amid a falling out with showrunner Ryan Condal. ("We got into season two, and [Condal] basically stopped listening to me," Martin said. "I would give notes, and nothing would happen." Yet Martin has sung the praises of new series A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, saying the show is "as faithful as an adaptation as a reasonable man could hope for" and playfully quipped, "and you all know how incredibly reasonable I am on that particular subject").
HBO recently had a slightly similar issue with an acclaimed Green Lantern comic-book writer Grant Morrison, who aligned with outraged fans taking issue with the showrunner of the upcoming Lanterns series joking "green is stupid." Morrison wrote, "What is this jockish dismissal of superhero conventions intended to prove anyway?" The showrunner, Damon Lindelof (who surely had to be amused at being called a "jock") drafted a sincere apology.

Why are authors just now beginning to call out Hollywood Shit or Garbage hacks for crap they've done forever?

The combination of audience fragmentation (where studios no longer need to draw the largest possible viewership on every show) and streaming services collectively serving up hundreds of longform titles a year now allows these stories to be adapted with a level of specificity and loyalty to the source material that wasn't realistic before.

I think they mean that since even a "hit" is only going to get a 2.8 rating -- where hits 40 years ago would get a 15 rating -- then you can afford to give the hardcore audience what they want, and they will no longer accept excuses that you had to water down the material to appeal to a mass audience. The "mass audience" is a dead concept.

...
But streamers are trying to balance making wide-appeal content and pleasing a vocal hardcore fandom that can often have an almost religious view of "canon" -- and now have authors potentially breaking ranks to join fans in their criticisms as well.

Hollywood is creatively bankrupt and will only greenlight movies based on names and IPs people remember, even if they don't remember them fondly.

The ultimate proof of this: They've rebooted the Faces of Death video nasties. This "movie," if you can call it that, seems to be about some creeps on the internet recreating gory deaths from the original Faces of Deaths videos, and the question is: Are they real or fake deaths?

Rebooting Faces of Death. What a world.

Speaking of dead franchises with only the glimmer of name recognition:

The budget for Marvel's last-chance movie, Doomsday, is said to be $400 million, with $100-200 just going to Robert Downey Jr. (Though I suspect that might be for both this film and the next one, Secret Wars.) The marketing budget is projected to be $300 million.

$700 million for a movie that most people don't even care about.

"The word is that Doomsday's budget is around $400 million which makes it one of if not the most expensive film ever made," Campea said. "I heard a little birdie told me, you guys will remember that Avengers Endgame was the first movie ever to spend $200 million on a marketing campaign, which was unheard of at the time. I've heard their marketing budget for Doomsday is just a little north of $300 million. Now, here's where it's interesting. If Doomsday is about a $400 million budget and if they are spending about $300 million on marketing, Doomsday will be the first film in history that will need to join the billion dollar club in order to break even."

Even worse, this movie that no one wanted opens on December 18th -- the same day as Dune: Messiah. (Or is it just called Dune Part III?)

Marvel is playing tough-guy and pretending they won't move off that release date. But of course they will. They have to do everything possible to give this piece-of-shit the best possible chance to make money. Warner Bros. doesn't really have to move Dune -- this is the third time they've milked this teat. They can afford to take a bit of a hit in the box office. (And to be honest, it doesn't sound like a crowd-pleaser, anyway: It's about Paul being responsible for literal billions of deaths as he's conned people into fighting his Space Jihad for him for ten years. Interesting way to go, but I don't know if that's going to wow the public. (Then again, I also didn't think the other two would wow the public but apparently they did.))

But if Doomsday fails -- and I think it will - that's the end of the MCU. At least it'll have to be let fallow for five or six years and only brought back as a full DC-style reboot.

Breaking: Disney will not have IMAX screens for Doomsday, because Warner Bros. already locked those down by contract for Dune Part 3. So that's a big hit right there.

So Disney is attempting to destroy the reputation of IMAX, so they can say "Who cares about IMAX? See our crap movie on a normal screen, you're not missing anything." Specifically, they've made up a new standard they're calling "Infinity Vision," and are saying that only 75 screens throughout the country meet that standard. And they're rolling this official new made-up bullshit standard on December 18, 2026-- when both Doomsday and Dune open.

They're basically trying to sabotage Dune to scare Dune away and make it move its release. But in doing so, they're burning goodwill with theaters by labeling almost all of their premium screens "Not up to Disney/Marvel standards."

This is the most arrogant, entitled entertainment company in history. And it should be of no surprise that they churn out almost nothing but substandard slop. Because absurd arrogance goes along with poor performance -- Dunning-Kruger. The incompetent are so incompetent and so unfamiliar with the standards of competency that they don't even realize they're incompetent.

More bad news for Disney:

Based on surveys of 7,000+ moviegoers conducted by Fandango, the summer of 2026 is heavily dominated by major franchises, sequels, and high-profile intellectual property (IP).
Here are the top ten most anticipated movies of Summer 2026:
Toy Story 5 (Disney/Pixar): Voted as the #1 most anticipated film, promising a new chapter for the beloved animated toys.
Spider-Man: Brand New Day (Sony Pictures): A new live-action installment in the Spider-Man franchise, highly anticipated by fans.
The Devil Wears Prada 2 (Disney/20th Century Studios): A sequel to the iconic fashion-industry comedy.
The Odyssey (Universal Pictures): Directed by Christopher Nolan, this is one of the few non-sequel films to break the top of the list.
Scary Movie (2026) (Paramount Pictures): A reboot or new installment of the popular horror-comedy parody franchise.
Moana (2026) (Disney): The live-action reimagining of the animated hit, featuring the return of Dwayne Johnson as Maui.
Minions & Monsters (Universal Pictures): The latest installment in the globally successful Despicable Me spinoff franchise.
Mortal Kombat 2 (Warner Bros.): The sequel to the 2021 live-action video game adaptation.
Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow (Warner Bros./DC Studios): A key entry in the new DC Universe (DCU) focusing on Kara Zor-El.
Insidious: The Bleeding World (Sony/Blumhouse): The latest entry in the long-running, successful horror franchise.

Notice anything missing? The Star Wars tv-show-turned-into-movie the Mandalorian and Grogu is missing from the list. It's beaten out by Scary Movie 6, for crying out loud. No shade to Scary Movie 6. But...for crying out loud, Star Wars used to be a bigger franchise than Scary Movie!

Would you like to see the fourth entry of a franchise that produced exactly one movie worth watching, 20 years ago?

Would you like to watch a movie featuring decrepit caveman retard Bobby "the Brain" DeNiro phoning in his 700th performance in a row?

How about a haggard and aged Ben Stiller, who hasn't been funny since Zoolander, whose face is now thin as cracked paper due to rigorous intermittent fasting and AIDS?

And how about notorious anxiety-ridden neurotic weirdo and donut licker Adrianna Grande?

Then boy, do I have the movie for you: Focker-In-Law. I dare you to watch this. It is without a single smile, let alone laugh.

A few weeks ago I mentioned the Malcolm in the Middle reboot. Given that it's Current Year and the show is produced by Disney -- and the producer himself has three gay children (out of four -- almost a clean sweep!) and thinks he needs to stuff more "representation" into a show formerly about straight people -- he's made some slight adjustments to the characters we thought we knew.

* A fifth sibling has been added to the mix. And They is a Non-Binary who lectures the dad when he gets Them's pronouns wrong.

* Stevie, Malcolm's black, wheel-chairbound, girl-crazy boob-obsessed pal, is now gay and married to a dude. I guess he was really good at faking.

* Malcolm's three nerdy male friends from school are now in an "asexual throuple."

Doesn't that just make you want to sign up for Disney Minus right now?

Please vote on whether you think these projects are Shit or Garbage? I'm compiling the data.

Here are two possibly decent projects:

The sequel to Godzilla Minus One, Godzilla Minus Zero.

Okay, so they're not great at titles.

Could this be the hot ticket of the summer?

They mention Chun-Li's thighs but do not show them so I believe, sadly, they did not find an Asian woman with thick thighs.

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 04:15 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Garbagy shit?

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 17, 2026 04:16 PM (+UZHh)

2 Or shitty garbage

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 17, 2026 04:16 PM (+UZHh)

3 And.... AND!

Posted by: LASue at April 17, 2026 04:17 PM (1Z/FH)

4 Wait -- they still make movies?

Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:18 PM (Av6i5)

5 "Hollywood: Shit or Garbarge?"

Yes.

Posted by: Will Robinson at April 17, 2026 04:18 PM (cO6oP)

6 Last decent film ever made was Buster Keaton's "The General" in 1926. Everything since then has been shit.

Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:19 PM (Av6i5)

7 I never watched the original Malcolm in the Middle. I assume that it was pretty good if they want to ruin it by doing a woke reboot.

Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:20 PM (77rzZ)

8 Both.

I watchec "Freddy Got Fingered" for the first time several weeks back. Back then, garbage.

Today...Shakespeare.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 17, 2026 04:20 PM (Sco7b)

9 There used to be a punk 'zine called Garbage Barge. Maybe that's what Ace is referring to with :"Garbarge."

Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:21 PM (Av6i5)

10 Hollywood: Shit or Garbage?

Ooh! I know this one: Both

Posted by: t-bird at April 17, 2026 04:21 PM (ReYtg)

11
Saw an new Amazon movie "Balls Up" last night, gross humor but funny as hell.

Posted by: Auspex at April 17, 2026 04:21 PM (Y8DZL)

12 Eh. Fuck all these people. Martin is a commie scumbag who owes his entire fame and fortune to HBO picking up his highly derivative GoT books. He should be sucking HBO's dick harder than Jennifer Newsome worker her mouth on Harvey Weinstein's malformed pecker.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at April 17, 2026 04:21 PM (iFTx/)

13 Last decent film ever made was Buster Keaton's "The General" in 1926. Everything since then has been shit.
Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:19 PM (Av6i5)

I'd move that up to 1939's Gone With the Wind, but nothing since then.

Posted by: LASue at April 17, 2026 04:21 PM (1Z/FH)

14 Last decent film ever made was Buster Keaton's "The General" in 1926. Everything since then has been shit.
Posted by: zombie

Keaton was an effing genius.

Fun fact: Keaton's silent films had been largely forgotten, until James Mason (yes, THAT James Mason) bought Keaton's old house in Hollywood and found the reels in the basement.

Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:22 PM (77rzZ)

15 To ask is to have answered.

Power of *AND* and all that ...

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 04:22 PM (xU6sC)

16 Hollywood - Shit, or Garbage? - Threat, or Menace? also works.

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:22 PM (pDt9x)

17 Felgercarb!

Posted by: Bad Andrew at April 17, 2026 04:22 PM (DgMqy)

18 Gojira gettin all up in Madam Blue's bidness

Posted by: banana Dream at April 17, 2026 04:22 PM (3uBP9)

19 I don't like these Hollywood threads. Can't we just talk about Tolkien?

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at April 17, 2026 04:22 PM (QSxSN)

20 I don't see why people don't understand that the modern vision of movie-making and plays and whatnot has nothing to do with presenting the author's vision. It is entirely about destroying culture, in this instance, the written word.

It is cultural marxism, where the goal is to destroy the culture in order to replace it.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 17, 2026 04:23 PM (0U5gm)

21 Good movies still accidentally get made. The lapse is always corrected by their sequels.

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:24 PM (pDt9x)

22 I saw a news blurb that the upcoming Ocean's Eleven movie will be a prequel, with Margot Robbie and Bradley Cooper playing Danny Ocean's parents. The plot - they're running a heist at a Monaco GP in the 1960s.

My first thought was - wasn't that an Archer episode?

Posted by: far cry at April 17, 2026 04:24 PM (wBRco)

23 >>>19 I don't like these Hollywood threads. Can't we just talk about Tolkien?

I have been bad about that because I haven't read in a while. I will put up a post for the Tolkein reading club soon.

but you can talk about it here too.

Posted by: ace at April 17, 2026 04:25 PM (1wjle)

24 "Hollywood: Shit or Garbage?"

Um, yes? Is this a trick question?

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 17, 2026 04:25 PM (oji8u)

25 Ace, any luck with the crows yet?

Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:25 PM (77rzZ)

26 I was reticent to watch the Malcolm reboot. Thanks. You saved me maybe 15 minutes before I would have bailed. That's 15 minutes I wouldn't have gotten back.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at April 17, 2026 04:25 PM (cxFcK)

27 Seriously, what do I have to do to get Sydney Sweeney cast as Col. Wilma Deering?

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at April 17, 2026 04:26 PM (w/O5Q)

28 The 80's IP well runs deep.

Posted by: CaptainHarlock at April 17, 2026 04:26 PM (xzUNn)

29 Ace, have you considerd reading the Silmarillion?

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:26 PM (pDt9x)

30 >>25 Ace, any luck with the crows yet?

I put some chicken out there and it's gone but I didn't see who took it. Probably the crows but I wasn't there when/if they came.

Posted by: ace at April 17, 2026 04:26 PM (1wjle)

31 Back then, garbage.

Today...Shakespeare.
Posted by: Stateless[/ii]

You've hit the mail on the head about s many things in culture.

When stuff ffist came out, you think, "Damn, this is stupid and terrible."

Then decades go by and culture gets worse and stupider every week.

Then you look back at that thing youn used to think was stupid and terrible, and you realize in retrospect that it was a masterpiece -- by comparsion to everything that came after it.

For example, I used to think thatb Kool & the Gang's song "Get Down On It" was a brainess radnomn disco piece of disposable musical garbage.

But then I saw the video for it a few weeks back, and seeing it with frersah eyes and fresh ears, I realize that it was a classic, and that they were talented in a way that modern artists just aren't.

Multiply that by a thousand things, and you have modern culture.

Also, get off my lawn

Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:26 PM (Av6i5)

32 And people wonder why I watch Antiques Roadshow.

Posted by: pudinhead at April 17, 2026 04:26 PM (FmapG)

33 Is this the Smart Rachel Zegler fan blog?

Posted by: Yay it's a Movie Thread at April 17, 2026 04:26 PM (eOFY+)

34

Arrgh unitlaic

Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:26 PM (Av6i5)

35 Watching Dune pt 2, not thst I ever got pt 1 before I watcj TJM rant on Dune

Posted by: Skip at April 17, 2026 04:27 PM (Ia/+0)

36 Amazon Studios has to be at least a little thankful that J.R.R. Tolkien is no longer around.

======

Hell.

Christopher Tolkien shat on Peter Jackson's take.

I imagine Rings of Power would just kill him all over again.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:27 PM (B5oTI)

37 Nothing new. Hollywood has been forever taking great books, turning them into garbage. Recent: The Hobbit, Ender's Game.

Posted by: JM in Illinois at April 17, 2026 04:27 PM (DwYwN)

38 I wonder if they will just commit and eventually do a Godzilla Minus -1

Posted by: banana Dream at April 17, 2026 04:27 PM (3uBP9)

39 ...It is cultural marxism, where the goal is to destroy the culture in order to replace it.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 17, 2026 04:23 PM (0U5gm)

Agreed. And they've been doing this since the filthy communist hippy animals matriculated and started infecting everything, starting with academia. Infiltrating academia was the long term strategy. Inflitrating Hollywood - and it's grip on defining the culture - was the short term strategy. Both are paying dividends in our collapse.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at April 17, 2026 04:27 PM (QSxSN)

40 Even worse, this movie that no one wanted opens on December 18th -- the same day as Dune: Messiah. (Or is it just called Dune Part III?)

=======

Someone should make a video about Dune!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:27 PM (B5oTI)

41 Eh. Fuck all these people. Martin is a commie scumbag who owes his entire fame and fortune to HBO picking up his highly derivative GoT books. He should be sucking HBO's dick harder than Jennifer Newsome worker her mouth on Harvey Weinstein's malformed pecker.
Posted by: Elric The Blade at April 17, 2026 04:21 PM (iFTx/)
----
I'm reasonably certain that's how Game of Thrones got picked up in the first place.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 17, 2026 04:28 PM (gnNyN)

42 Sorry to hear about the destruction of IMAX. I was waiting for the remastering for the IMAX screen of My Dinner With Andre

Posted by: Kindltot at April 17, 2026 04:28 PM (rbvCR)

43 I would say that Malcom in the Middle news must be fake it's so ridiculous, but you can't make that up.

Posted by: Obviously at April 17, 2026 04:28 PM (n5tGW)

44 Seriously, what do I have to do to get Sydney Sweeney cast as Col. Wilma Deering?

According to an article I saw last week, Sweeney as the new James (Jane?) Bond is Hollywood's final offer for not making him a gay crippled Pakistani.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 17, 2026 04:28 PM (jbPJz)

45 >>>29 Ace, have you considerd reading the Silmarillion?

I tried, it's not for me. I can barely get through normal books. I'm really ashamed but I just picked up The Hobbit again today and am only in the conversation with Smaug.

I completely forgot that Smaug comes out and hunts them around the mountain. They should have done something with that for the movie instead of the goofball CGI nonsense we got.

Posted by: ace at April 17, 2026 04:28 PM (1wjle)

46 Stephen King keeps cashing Hollywood's checks.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:28 PM (0cOSz)

47 40 Even worse, this movie that no one wanted opens on December 18th -- the same day as Dune: Messiah. (Or is it just called Dune Part III?)

=======

Someone should make a video about Dune!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:27 PM (B5oTI)

I heard they tried but it was an Epic Disater.

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:28 PM (pDt9x)

48 7 I never watched the original Malcolm in the Middle. I assume that it was pretty good if they want to ruin it by doing a woke reboot.
Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:20 PM (77rzZ)

It was good. So yes, of course, they had to ruin it.

There was zero reason for Stevie to be made gay. If his actor (who is gay) wasn't willing to play a straight character anymore, he should have been re-cast or written out.

Posted by: XTC at April 17, 2026 04:28 PM (iXqHn)

49 One of my favorite young actresses, Kyrianna Kratter, landed a part in that zombie show "This is Us" or whatever it is. I guess gay subplots and crap.

She plays a tranny boy!

Poor girl. Work is work I guess.

She was also one of the kids in that Star Wars for kids thing. What a horrible place to make a living.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 17, 2026 04:28 PM (Sco7b)

50 I think we need a Movie about a Gay US Black President to show people that we care about those with alternative lifestyles ...

Never mind, that has happened in real life already....

Posted by: Jackson K. at April 17, 2026 04:29 PM (j6UWQ)

51 30 >>25 Ace, any luck with the crows yet?

I put some chicken out there and it's gone but I didn't see who took it. Probably the crows but I wasn't there when/if they came.
Posted by: ace

Ace, see my previous comments (which I think you missed0. The secret to luring crows is PUPPY CHOW. Guaranteed to work.

Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:29 PM (Av6i5)

52 And people wonder why I watch Antiques Roadshow.
Posted by: pudinhead

Have you reconnected with Oak Island, and your crush there, yet?

Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:29 PM (77rzZ)

53 I read that a Top Gun 3 is in the works. If true and because Tom Cruise makes entertaining movies I'll most certainly pay to see it.

Posted by: Tuna at April 17, 2026 04:29 PM (lJ0H4)

54 I've always hated the 'reimaging' of classic books, plays, or movies.

If you want to tell your 'own story'... your slant... then tell YOUR story. Don't use the popularity of a classic to try to piggyback onto its popularity...

Especially when Race / Gender swapping... or putting Woke messages into classic tales.

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 17, 2026 04:29 PM (mP0Kj)

55 zombie: "When stuff ffist came out, you think, 'Damn, this is stupid and terrible.'

Then decades go by and culture gets worse and stupider every week."

Welcome to our galloping Idiocracy. The West gets more technologically advanced while simultaneously turning more ignorant, foolish, and stupid. It's quite the irony.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 17, 2026 04:30 PM (oji8u)

56 Madam Blue is from the styx song by the way.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 17, 2026 04:30 PM (3uBP9)

57 Writers typically have editors. I presume even great writers have editors. The purpose isn't just to catch the odd spelling mistake and things like that. It is to smooth out the rough edges and remove unnecessary bits and pieces. The editor doesn't re-write the authors work. Converting the work to film should fulfill the same basic function, but alas, Hollywood knows better...

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at April 17, 2026 04:30 PM (QaH55)

58 >>>Ace, see my previous comments (which I think you missed0. The secret to luring crows is PUPPY CHOW. Guaranteed to work.

okay I guess I'll get some. I just bought two big bags, one of peanuts and one of seeds and dried fruit. These crows are costing me a fortune.

Posted by: ace at April 17, 2026 04:30 PM (1wjle)

59 I'm still baffled at Amazon's attempt to make Wheel of Time.

The first book is so linear in structure, that it doesn't take a genius to break it down into a 10-episode series.

It's a beat-by-beat classic fantasy story. Derivative? Sure. But also well-written and entertaining.

They fubared the source material within ONE MINUTE of the introductory exposition of the first episode.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 17, 2026 04:30 PM (gnNyN)

60 The Dow is nearly back to 50,000. 49,669.

CBS is reporting this, and the CBS reporters look like they lost their best friends.

Posted by: SMOD at April 17, 2026 04:30 PM (9iewf)

61 When it comes to Dune III, I'm really looking forward to the fans who never read the books complaining that Villeneuve destroyed the character of Paul by making him a villain.

Frank Herbert includes dialogue that directly compares Paul to Hitler in Dune Messiah. Approvingly. (Not that Herbert like Hitler, but Stilgar is like, "Oh, Emperor Hitler only killed 6 million? That's nothing compared to Muad'dib.")

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:31 PM (B5oTI)

62 The writers for the various fantasy series offshoots , sequels/prequels etc, all think they know more than the original authors or insist they have something to add. Arrogant bastards.
Imagine someone thinking they know more than Tolkien

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 17, 2026 04:31 PM (gu0hJ)

63 53 I read that a Top Gun 3 is in the works. If true and because Tom Cruise makes entertaining movies I'll most certainly pay to see it.
Posted by: Tuna at April 17, 2026 04:29 PM (lJ0H4)

I would snark about him behind the controls of a Mobility Scooter instead of an F22, but that would not be nice.

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:31 PM (pDt9x)

64 I still contend that Game of Thrones was the biggest girl power production ever made.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:31 PM (0cOSz)

65 oh please

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at April 17, 2026 04:32 PM (YlWIZ)

66 These crows are costing me a fortune.
Posted by: ace

Just wait until they impose the crowgeld.

Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:32 PM (77rzZ)

67 City Primeval, a great book by Elmore Leonard (one of a very few authors I can actually stand to read), had the benefit of basically being unknown when it was done by some of the Justified people. Because it was one of the shittiest possible adaptations anyone could even conceive of.

Among many other problems, they took the main chick, a sexy ass caucasian lawyer named Carolyn Wilder who is chiefly known for being intelligent and super hot, who the main cop character eventually falls for. And so what did these idiots do with her? They turned her into an angry fat ugly black woman who hates white people. Brilliant!

And our hot white male main character Raylan who loves skinny pretty blondes of COURSE falls for her, despite her basically only ever complaining he's a big racist doing a big racist job. She lectures him and us that Marshals once we're deployed to catch runaway slaves. Fucking retards. So a show where we are nominally supposed to root for law enforcement if only because the main bad guy is the scum of the earth, instead tells us that "both sides are bad". Just grade school shit. On top of that they sucked every bit of life and humor out of the story. It was a joke.

Posted by: ... at April 17, 2026 04:32 PM (vE0+H)

68 Multiply that by a thousand things, and you have modern culture.

Also, get off my lawn
Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:26 PM (Av6i5)

This to, is the story of... Porkys...

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 17, 2026 04:32 PM (mP0Kj)

69 58 >>>Ace, see my previous comments (which I think you missed0. The secret to luring crows is PUPPY CHOW. Guaranteed to work.

okay I guess I'll get some. I just bought two big bags, one of peanuts and one of seeds and dried fruit. These crows are costing me a fortune.
Posted by: ace

Just buy the smallest cheapest bag of low0grade pu[ppy chow you can find, to test it out first without investing a lot.

Dry kibble-style puppy chow works better than dog kibble because puppy chows pieces are smaller and crows like them better when smaller.

Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:32 PM (Av6i5)

70 64 I still contend that Game of Thrones was the biggest girl power production ever made.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:31 PM (0cOSz)

======

With Khaleeshi coming out as a complete psychopath in the final season and burning King's Landing to the ground, and it's viewed as absolute madness after years of girlbosses fangirling on her because she was...constantly burning people alive and being terrible at governing otherwise...it's my favorite girl power series.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:32 PM (B5oTI)

71 54 Especially when Race / Gender swapping... or putting Woke messages into classic tales.
Posted by: Romeo13 at April 17, 2026 04:29 PM (mP0Kj)

Eh, it's fine when it's turning black characters white (eg : Richard Dawson as Killian in The Running Man).

Posted by: XTC at April 17, 2026 04:33 PM (iXqHn)

72 I'm interested in Disclosure Day.

Marvel? Forget about it.

Posted by: Judge Boasberg at April 17, 2026 04:33 PM (G0vdT)

73 I would snark about him behind the controls of a Mobility Scooter instead of an F22, but that would not be nice.
Posted by: tubal

LOL.

Posted by: Tuna at April 17, 2026 04:33 PM (lJ0H4)

74 I've been watching a British miniseries from the 80s on Tubi called The Last Place On Earth. It's about Amundsen vs Scott racing to the South Pole. Pretty good.

Posted by: Mark1971 at April 17, 2026 04:34 PM (CNl8/)

75 Dune is the Prometheus of Jupiter Ascendings

Posted by: ace at April 17, 2026 04:34 PM (1wjle)

76 75 Dune is the Prometheus of Jupiter Ascendings

Posted by: ace at April 17, 2026 04:34 PM (1wjle)

======

Yeah, but have you read the book?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:34 PM (B5oTI)

77 >>>they did not find an Asian woman with thick thighs.

The Koreans call that "Mu Dari" or "radish legs"
Since Korean radishes are long, pale and thick.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 17, 2026 04:34 PM (rbvCR)

78 Ace, see my previous comments (which I think you missed0. The secret to luring crows is PUPPY CHOW. Guaranteed to work.

okay I guess I'll get some. I just bought two big bags, one of peanuts and one of seeds and dried fruit. These crows are costing me a fortune.

Posted by: ace at April 17, 2026 04:30 PM (1wjle)

Long ago, when I lived in SoCal, I'd take the night's leftovers out every morning and dump them in the front yard. There was always a crow 'scout' perched on the roof and before I'd actually get back in the house about 20 of them would descend and start feasting.
The only weird part was sometime the leftovers would have chicken bones and leavings and I'd be mildly disturbed at seeing them attack them with relish, thinking it seemed a bit cannibalistic. Heh. They are smart birds.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at April 17, 2026 04:34 PM (QSxSN)

79 >>>Yeah, but have you read the book?

no. I think I got it on Kindle some time back but never opened it.

Posted by: ace at April 17, 2026 04:35 PM (1wjle)

80 I really enjoy the modern, extended now Dune series as well as the original, but I'd kinda like to see an ending of the story soon. I fear they're going to turn it into Star Wars and simply mutilate it.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 17, 2026 04:35 PM (oji8u)

81 79 >>>Yeah, but have you read the book?

no. I think I got it on Kindle some time back but never opened it.

Posted by: ace at April 17, 2026 04:35 PM (1wjle)

======

But you're such a voracious reader!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:35 PM (B5oTI)

82 Sock off

Posted by: WisRich at April 17, 2026 04:36 PM (G0vdT)

83 64 I still contend that Game of Thrones was the biggest girl power production ever made.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:31 PM (0cOSz)

Close second? the Watch her... I mean Witcher...

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 17, 2026 04:36 PM (mP0Kj)

84 I have not seen any of the Top Gun movies, nor do I intend to. Over-cocky fighter pilots certainly have a valuable place in the military, but they do not interest me in the least.

Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:36 PM (77rzZ)

85 80 I really enjoy the modern, extended now Dune series as well as the original, but I'd kinda like to see an ending of the story soon. I fear they're going to turn it into Star Wars and simply mutilate it.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 17, 2026 04:35 PM (oji8u)

=======

You want to know the ending to Dune?

I can tell you. I've read all the way to the end of Sandworms of Dune.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:36 PM (B5oTI)

86 It can always get worse?

Stephen Colbert is transitioning from late-night television to a Hollywood screenwriter role, collaborating with Peter Jackson’s team to co-write a new Lord of the Rings film after concluding The Late Show in May 2026. A renowned Tolkien super fan, Colbert is working with his son, Peter McGee, and Philippa Boyens on the project. (Hollywood Reporter and Entertainment Tonight.)

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at April 17, 2026 04:36 PM (NFX2v)

87 "They did not find a Asian woman with thick thighs."

I'm RIGHT HERE!!!

Posted by: Margaret Cho at April 17, 2026 04:36 PM (mW+Xs)

88 no. I think I got it on Kindle some time back but never opened it.
Posted by: ace

How's your Hobbit/Lord of the Rings reading project coming along?

Posted by: Tuna at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (lJ0H4)

89 Movies, uh? Seen any good vaudeville shows lately?

These are the last gasps of the Hollywood money laundering machine. In five years, five man teams of internet buddies, who have never met in real life, will be churning out AI generated videos with visuals superior to the current $400 million schlock for a few thousand dollars.

These will be available on demand to be watched in the comfort of your own living room, far from the sticky-floored, roach-infested, gang battlegrounds of your local multiplex.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (0vB2I)

90 I first tried to lure crows with dog food, as often recommended, and it worked at first, but the crow started trying to break up the pieces with their beaks, and got frustrated, then started looking at me me with this look of, 'Hey asshole, these pieces are too big. give us something we can swallow, fool!" So I found a bag of dog food with small pieces 9for puppies), and the crows LOVED it.'

'Even after the bag ran out and I stopped feeding them, the crows hung around for months aftrerward, still wiating for more puppy chow, before eventually giving up.

Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (Av6i5)

91 Hollywood, shit or garbage?

Yes.

Posted by: Case at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (pvf3X)

92 My wife watched the first 10 minutes or so of Malcolm. She says shit AND garbage. Bailed and watched the original first episode.

Posted by: Eeyore at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (AlhUl)

93 85 80 I really enjoy the modern, extended now Dune series as well as the original, but I'd kinda like to see an ending of the story soon. I fear they're going to turn it into Star Wars and simply mutilate it.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 17, 2026 04:35 PM (oji8u)

=======

You want to know the ending to Dune?

I can tell you. I've read all the way to the end of Sandworms of Dune.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:36 PM (B5oTI)

Baron Harkonnen woke up and said “ I had the funniest dream”!

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (pDt9x)

94 Thete is a point in Dune I am sure, just can't figure it out

Posted by: Skip at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (Ia/+0)

95 93 Baron Harkonnen woke up and said “ I had the funniest dream”!

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (pDt9x)

======

Well, evil clone Baron raises evil clone Leto all while Duncan Idaho meets the singularity of the thinking machines because Duncan is the newest Kwisatz Haderach.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:38 PM (B5oTI)

96 It can always get worse?

Stephen Colbert is transitioning from late-night television to a Hollywood screenwriter role, collaborating with Peter Jackson’s team to co-write a new Lord of the Rings film after concluding The Late Show in May 2026. A renowned Tolkien super fan, Colbert is working with his son, Peter McGee, and Philippa Boyens on the project. (Hollywood Reporter and Entertainment Tonight.)

I'm sure he'll figure out a way to inject some new evil character into it...something like an...OrangeManBad creature?

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at April 17, 2026 04:38 PM (QSxSN)

97 Vaudeville and music hall were both awesome. Superior to most entertainment options available today.

Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:39 PM (77rzZ)

98 Herbert was bored sitting all day in the smoke spotters tower is the point.

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:39 PM (pDt9x)

99 I can tell you. I've read all the way to the end of Sandworms of Dune.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:36 PM (B5oTI)

Baron Harkonnen woke up and said “ I had the funniest dream”!
Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (pDt9x)

Next to Susan Pleshette? or is this in Dallas?

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 17, 2026 04:39 PM (mP0Kj)

100 Godzilla Minus One was better than any Godzilla movie has any right to be, and was perhaps the best movie of the year. It was like a classic Hollywood blockbuster of years gone by, and even had something to say about PTSD. I have high hopes for the sequel.

Posted by: Open Channel D at April 17, 2026 04:39 PM (rHRA/)

101 Christopher Tolkien shat on Peter Jackson's take.

—-

He was wrong, it was incredibly done
I took a college course on Tolkiens works , in the 70’s and I was hooked
It was the best English lit course ever and the professor was 2000% into LOTR. Dresses up, played albums lol no 8 tracks , but really, don’t know what his son was not smoking

That being said, the fact that Jackson is bringing Colbert into writing on another movie on the subject

He has lost his freaking mind

Posted by: Gonzotx at April 17, 2026 04:39 PM (nGraA)

102 TheJamesMadison: "You want to know the ending to Dune?

I can tell you. I've read all the way to the end of Sandworms of Dune."

And here all along I thought it was simply Paul Atreides becoming god which was what I thought Dune II was going to be.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 17, 2026 04:40 PM (oji8u)

103
Yeah, gay main character, but "Lawrence of Arabia" was a spectacular achievement.

So was "Barry Lyndon".

And "2001, A Space Odyssey" was stunning.

Posted by: Auspex at April 17, 2026 04:40 PM (Y8DZL)

104 Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:32 PM (B5oT

90 lb unstoppable girl assassin
Unbeatable female knight
Top Female Ship captain and her pussy castrated brother
Sansa Stark saving Jon Snow from defeat
Sansa Stark feeding evil guy to his own dogs
Cersi outsmarting everyone

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:40 PM (0cOSz)

105 89 Movies, uh? Seen any good vaudeville shows lately?

These are the last gasps of the Hollywood money laundering machine. In five years, five man teams of internet buddies, who have never met in real life, will be churning out AI generated videos with visuals superior to the current $400 million schlock for a few thousand dollars.

These will be available on demand to be watched in the comfort of your own living room, far from the sticky-floored, roach-infested, gang battlegrounds of your local multiplex.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy

The worry though is that the upcoming generation is essentially illiterate which makes it very hard to actually tell stories--so you get a lot of video flash but an inability to tap into that deeper human experience of story telling. One CGI explosion pretty much resembles the next.

Posted by: whig at April 17, 2026 04:40 PM (E4rtv)

106 I predict another failure of year at the box office for Pervywood.

But the narrative before profit or even breakeven.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at April 17, 2026 04:40 PM (xvV+O)

107 86. Addendum -

Peter McGee (born 199

is a screenwriter, producer, and director known for his work on The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) cameo, as well as projects like Where's Noah? (2019) and At the Crossroads Down Yonder (201

.

As the son of Stephen Colbert and Evelyn McGee-Colbert, he frequently works in production and was announced in 2026 to be co-writing a new Lord of the Rings movie.

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at April 17, 2026 04:40 PM (NFX2v)

108 104 Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:32 PM (B5oT

90 lb unstoppable girl assassin
Unbeatable female knight
Top Female Ship captain and her pussy castrated brother
Sansa Stark saving Jon Snow from defeat
Sansa Stark feeding evil guy to his own dogs
Cersi outsmarting everyone
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:40 PM (0cOSz)

Peter Dinklage being annoying as hell - wait -

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:42 PM (pDt9x)

109 That being said, the fact that Jackson is bringing Colbert into writing on another movie on the subject

He has lost his freaking mind
Posted by: Gonzotx at April 17, 2026 04:39 PM (nGraA)

Original Lord of the Rings movies were good.

The Hobbit movies? abominations. How the fights went in ONE generation from the Hobbit movie Loony Toons physics and fights... to the serious tone of the LOTR movies....

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 17, 2026 04:42 PM (mP0Kj)

110 I'm a fan of the original Dune movie.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:42 PM (0cOSz)

111 L - No nic: "Stephen Colbert is transitioning from late-night television to a Hollywood screenwriter role, collaborating with Peter Jackson's team to co-write a new Lord of the Rings film after concluding The Late Show in May 2026."

So put a Colbert in it and make it lame and gay. Yep, that tracks.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 17, 2026 04:42 PM (oji8u)

112 Kitao Sakurai is searching for an asian women with big thighs.

And when he finds her and puts her in his movie then Ching Dai will be appeased and Kitao's curse will be lifted so he can go on to rule the universe from beyond the grave.

Posted by: banana Dream - Indeed at April 17, 2026 04:42 PM (3uBP9)

113 I was going to post all the Reddit fangirling about the new Malcolm in the Middle, and the non-binary sibling...and realized I didn't care enough. I didn't watch it, you didn't watch it...it's irrelevant crap that will be completely forgotten in 6 months. I haven't watched a movie in a theater for years, and have gotten so apathetic, even something that seems moderately interesting like Operation Hail Mary (or whatever) isn't worth the time, effort and money to go see.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at April 17, 2026 04:42 PM (JCZqz)

114 I think they mean that since even a "hit" is only going to get a 2.8 rating -- where hits 40 years ago would get a 15 rating -- then you can afford to give the hardcore audience what they want, and they will no longer accept excuses that you had to water down the material to appeal to a mass audience. The "mass audience" is a dead concept.

--

H'Wood really couldn't care less. The typical GRRM book sold on the order of 20M copies. Sanderson's top bestsellers have sold in the 800k range. Hollywood looks at their friends with blue hair and anger issues and thinks "that's a larger audience than the one that was here for the book. so let's make it for them instead."

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at April 17, 2026 04:42 PM (jOtVJ)

115 Ok, in 2026, you KNOW that family entertainment where everything is gay AF will lose money bigly. If its family entertainment looking to capitalize on the nostalgia of men who watched the original as kids - scratch that, make it yugely. Luxuriously. Might as well set the cash on fire. At least then, a few bucks might survive the blaze.

They can only be doing as a big "fuck you" to families. Spite is the only motive I can think of at this point.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 17, 2026 04:43 PM (BI5O2)

116 I'd think that Colbert would best be used to help get the Epstein universe off the ground.

The multi-million dollar musical movie.
The Netflix animated series.
The HBO mini-series.
The Disney full length series.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 17, 2026 04:43 PM (Sco7b)

117 I ams sure anything with Steven Co- Bert will be filled wigh Leftist Propaganda

Posted by: Skip at April 17, 2026 04:43 PM (Ia/+0)

118 I've been a Tolkien fan since college. I can honestly say he's had a positive and inspiring influence on my life. That having been said I think Jackson did a faithful rendition in his movies. As faithful as could possibly be done without turning it into a boring drawn out hundred hour long documentary. He had to distill things down to make it watchable and again, I think he did that admirably.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at April 17, 2026 04:43 PM (QSxSN)

119 I liked Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. Victor von Doom is as limited as Palpatine and any Bene Jesserit because all these baddies are isolated by narcissism, so the writers haven't shed Dante's curse. Good luck, RD Jr.!

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at April 17, 2026 04:45 PM (YlWIZ)

120 118 I've been a Tolkien fan since college. I can honestly say he's had a positive and inspiring influence on my life. That having been said I think Jackson did a faithful rendition in his movies. As faithful as could possibly be done without turning it into a boring drawn out hundred hour long documentary. He had to distill things down to make it watchable and again, I think he did that admirably.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at April 17, 2026 04:43 PM (QSxSN)

======

Yeah, but they changed Faramir, which means that everything is trash.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:45 PM (B5oTI)

121 Is the 'killing word' in the Dune book?

I don't recall that in the new Dune movies:

Has there ever been another two part movie where the first part was great and the second part sucked donkey......

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:45 PM (0cOSz)

122 I started watching The Winter King on Amazon because I liked the books by Bernard Cornwell. Did you know Merlin was black? Also, they had corn on the cob for dinner one night. Maybe I'm just a stickler for realism in my Arthurian legends, but that just doesn't seem right.

Posted by: huerfano at April 17, 2026 04:46 PM (98kQX)

123 Just wait until they impose the crowgeld.
Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:32 PM (77rzZ)

That probably should be "hrōcgeld"

Posted by: Kindltot - being uber pedantic at April 17, 2026 04:46 PM (rbvCR)

124 How about a haggard and aged Ben Stiller, who hasn't been funny since Zoolander, whose face is now thin as cracked paper due to rigorous intermittent fasting and AIDS?

---------

lol ... but mostly AIDS.

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 04:46 PM (xU6sC)

125 RE: Could this be the hot ticket of the summer?

Probably not since it's being released in October.

Posted by: Serious Cat at April 17, 2026 04:46 PM (xqQi7)

126 121 Is the 'killing word' in the Dune book?

I don't recall that in the new Dune movies:

Has there ever been another two part movie where the first part was great and the second part sucked donkey......

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:45 PM (0cOSz)

=======

The weirding modules were a creation of David Lynch for the 1984 movie because he didn't want to do kung-fu in the desert.

The weirding way is what's in the book, and it's some kind of hyperspeed abilities by the Bene Gesserit.

Then there's the Voice, which the Bene Gesserit use to force people to do specific actions.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:46 PM (B5oTI)

127 Ace,

You might have missed it, but the Robe Lowe hockey movie from the late 80's, Youngblood (which I put up there with Slapshot), is getting remade and both race-swapped and story-swapped. Yep...he's black hockey player so you know that's going to be a thing. Hell, it's in the trailer.

Those too young to know who Youngblood is...probably the target demo for this movie, wouldn't know the difference if they would have just given the damned remake it's own title. Those old enough to fondly remember the origin will never watch it because of this bullshit.

Posted by: Scott1M at April 17, 2026 04:46 PM (O9uxk)

128 I need to edit the fact that when I was lauding Jackson it was for the original LoTR movies. NOT the Hobbit abomination.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at April 17, 2026 04:46 PM (QSxSN)

129 Round trip train transportation from New York's Penn Station to the Meadowlands is normally $12.90 if you want to see the Giants or the Jets.

But for this year's World Cup, the same round trip transportation will be $150.00.

Posted by: mr tmz at April 17, 2026 04:47 PM (rJ48h)

130 I posted on another thread a few days ago but Kung Fu Hustle is the greatest Kung Fu movie ever made.

Of course just IMHO.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:47 PM (0cOSz)

131 And how about notorious anxiety-ridden neurotic weirdo and donut licker Adrianna Grande?

------------

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

/Is it called a Beignet on a New Orleans or French Whore?

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 04:48 PM (xU6sC)

132 I'm glad that I don't fill up my brain with all of this Tolkein crap.

Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:49 PM (77rzZ)

133 I think the last movie I saw in a theater was They Shall Not Grow Old, Peter Jackson's war documentary. It was great.

Posted by: beckster at April 17, 2026 04:49 PM (kX27y)

134 Afternoon.

I rewatched the Van-Damme Street Fighter movie last year. First time I had seen it since I was a kid and saw it in the theater.

Awful, stupid, ridiculous and freakin' hilarious and fun. No one gave two shits during that entire production and it was gloriously bad and super fun.

Also, Ming-na Wen has has a great ass.

Posted by: Robert at April 17, 2026 04:49 PM (dpXJq)

135 ... and the producer himself has three gay children (out of four -- almost a clean sweep!) ...

-------------

TRANSPHOBE!

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 04:49 PM (xU6sC)

136 If you get a crow pal at a young age you can teach them to say words. There was a crow at a drive thru where I used to live who learned stuff he'd hear on the speaker.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 17, 2026 04:49 PM (BI5O2)

137 I think the last movie I saw in a theater was They Shall Not Grow Old, Peter Jackson's war documentary. It was great.
Posted by: beckster

Yes it was. Highly recommended.

Posted by: Tuna at April 17, 2026 04:50 PM (lJ0H4)

138 I was on 4chan a few days ago (yeah I know) to call out "increasingly" here, because creators have bitching about bad reproductions of their work for maybe a century. For instance Stephen King being buttmad that Stanley Kubrick did a better Shining.
True story: Clive Barker was so disappointed with Hollywood's take on his earlier work that he did his own Hellraiser. Even though he could only afford... what we all got to see.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 17, 2026 04:50 PM (gKWVE)

139 The big problem with the Hobbit movies was squeezing 3 movies out of a one movie book.

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:50 PM (pDt9x)

140 'Even after the bag ran out and I stopped feeding them, the crows hung around for months aftrerward, still wiating for more puppy chow, before eventually giving up.
Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (Av6i5)

The biologists who study ravens in Seattle area use cat kibble to lure the ravines in since they love cat chow.

Posted by: Kindltot - being uber pedantic at April 17, 2026 04:51 PM (rbvCR)

141 I guess he was really good at faking.

--------------

Am I the only one who read that as "focking?"

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 04:51 PM (xU6sC)

142 Last movie I saw was Project Hail Mary. That one actually ended up Weir-approved.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 17, 2026 04:52 PM (gKWVE)

143 I realize Peter Jackson altered things in the trilogy and did not include others . But IMHO the LoTR was the some of the best movie making ever and as faithful as possible to Tolkiens vision. Your view may vary

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 17, 2026 04:52 PM (gu0hJ)

144 The number 1 film in Chicago is The Super Mario Galaxy Movie.

Posted by: mrp at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (rj6Yv)

145 Hollywood: Shit or Garbage.

-------

LOL

Posted by: Seems Legit at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (aZm/F)

146 If they want to make a fantastic "Fantasy" film(s) they really should invest in Stephen Erikson's "Book of the Fallen" Series.

The world building (IMO) is a level above Tolkien. The characters are varied, brutal, funny, and creative. For lack of a better phrase "they come right off the page". The story is intricate, varied and completely resolves in a wonderful conclusion.

Previously, making this 10 book series into a film(s) would have been nearly impossible. But, in this case, however, I think AI would make it possible. There are so many characters with minor but important roles that the celebrity cameo casting director would have an, absolute, party of surprises.

And, one of the main characters is named "Whiskey Jack"....so bonus.

Posted by: Orson at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (dIske)

147 "The Odyssey (Universal Pictures): Directed by Christopher Nolan"

I'll watch it when it gets to the internet. No rush.

Posted by: gp at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (N8ZBc)

148 Is AI queer too?

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (wBaIH)

149
Elijah Wood was a gay crybaby in Jackson's LOTR, and the rest of the cast were queens, too, except the elf chick.

Posted by: Auspex at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (Y8DZL)

150 I will watch Godzilla Minus Zero

Posted by: Shoefly the Boxing Mule at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (ufJfM)

151 Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 17, 2026 04:52 PM (gu0hJ)

I think the general theme of good vs evil and sacrifice will always make a great movie.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (0cOSz)

152 144 The number 1 film in Chicago is The Super Mario Galaxy Movie.

Posted by: mrp at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (rj6Yv)

========

It is a supremely faithful adaptation of the games.

Random encounters in new environments, moving from character to character with no real reason to it other than to move towards the main castle in the center of the map.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:54 PM (B5oTI)

153 The big problem with the Hobbit movies was squeezing 3 movies out of a one movie book.
Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:50 PM (pDt9x)
---
Yep. The book itself isn't that long. My mass-market paperback edition is less than 300 pages.

The main battle in the climax only takes up a handful of pages and is really not much more than a skirmish with a few thousand participants on either side.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 17, 2026 04:54 PM (gnNyN)

154 151 Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 17, 2026 04:52 PM (gu0hJ)

I think the general theme of good vs evil and sacrifice will always make a great movie.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (0cOSz)

The theme of the Harry Potter books, funnily enough, despite the Pearl Clutching of some.

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:55 PM (pDt9x)

155 I liked Stiller in Tropic Thunder, although he was mostly a straight man in that one, and also a retard. Which the movie lampshaded.
That movie belonged to Downey and Cruise.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 17, 2026 04:55 PM (gKWVE)

156 Is AI queer too?
Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (wBaIH)

AI? You mean GAY-I!

Posted by: Robert at April 17, 2026 04:55 PM (dpXJq)

157 Hollywood: Shit or Garbarge?
-

A putrid, foul, execrable place better exercised being absorbed by the La Brea Tar Pits.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 17, 2026 04:55 PM (P+D9B)

158 Having never read any of the Tolkien writings I found The Hobbit movies enjoyable entertainment. I understand the criticism from devotees of the books though.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 17, 2026 04:55 PM (yAteE)

159 I will always pimp "Hobo with a Shotgun."

That was a great over the top vigilante movie.
The guy had a dream!
All he wanted was a lousy __________. That was it.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 17, 2026 04:56 PM (Sco7b)

160 The worry though is that the upcoming generation is essentially illiterate which makes it very hard to actually tell stories--so you get a lot of video flash but an inability to tap into that deeper human experience of story telling. One CGI explosion pretty much resembles the next.
Posted by: whig at April 17, 2026 04:40 PM (E4rtv)

Not to worry. While there will be unspeakable amounts of garbage produced, there will still be a few gems. After all, "90% of everything is crap."

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at April 17, 2026 04:56 PM (0vB2I)

161 I might actually go see Dune Messiah in IMAX. I wouldn't go see another MCU abortion if my life depended on it.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 17, 2026 04:56 PM (Riz8t)

162 Orson: I always thought Deadhouse Gates deserved to be a miniseries.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 17, 2026 04:56 PM (gKWVE)

163 All actors will be AI within about five years. Why pay someone when you can use John Wayne or Burt Lancaster for free?

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 17, 2026 04:56 PM (0U5gm)

164 My favorite Ben Stiller movie is Along Came Polly:

Jennifer Aniston at her peak.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:56 PM (0cOSz)

165 RE: Could this be the hot ticket of the summer?

Probably not since it's being released in October.
Posted by: Serious Cat at April 17, 2026 04:46
----------
Hah. Glad I ctrl-f'd before posting. What he said.

Posted by: olddog in mo at April 17, 2026 04:56 PM (bQ4nt)

166 They mention Chun-Li's thighs but do not show them so I believe, sadly, they did not find an Asian woman with thick thighs.

------------

Where is the love child of Eric Heiden and Suni Lee when you need them?

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 04:56 PM (xU6sC)

167 161 I might actually go see Dune Messiah in IMAX. I wouldn't go see another MCU abortion if my life depended on it.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 17, 2026 04:56 PM (Riz8t)

======

Anything so we get a $200 million adaptation of God Emperor of Dune so I can watch a giant, CGI, man-sandworm hybrid argue with Jason Mamoa about the nature of political power for 3 hours.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 04:57 PM (B5oTI)

168 "My favorite Ben Stiller movie"

"Duplex" always makes me laff.

Posted by: gp at April 17, 2026 04:57 PM (N8ZBc)

169 I'm looking forward to God Of War VII, Ironing For One, or How To Cope With Divorce.

Posted by: Carl Sagan's Stunt Double at April 17, 2026 04:57 PM (7Q0e+)

170 >>>move towards the main castle in the center of the map.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering
---

The basic instinct of man.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 17, 2026 04:58 PM (P+D9B)

171 ors will be AI within about five years. Why pay someone when you can use John Wayne or Burt Lancaster for free?

You want AI John Wayne.
You'll settle for AI Burt Lancaster.
You'll get AI Dylan Mulroney.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 17, 2026 04:58 PM (Riz8t)

172 A putrid, foul, execrable place better exercised being absorbed by the La Brea Tar Pits.
Posted by: Braenyard

The La Brea Tar Pits are another site I regret not visiting when I was in California, along with Alcatraz and the Winchester Mystery House.

Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:58 PM (77rzZ)

173 If they want to make a fantastic "Fantasy" film(s) they really should invest in Stephen Erikson's "Book of the Fallen" Series.

Posted by: Orson at April 17, 2026 04:53 PM (dIske)
---
I love the series, but it's unfilmable, even with AI.

It's just too *weird.* There's so much bizarre world-building you'd never be able to explain it to your audience in any meaningful way.

The narrative complexity is off the charts. It's very nonlinear in parts and there are far too many characters.

There's no conceivable way this could be made into a major movie series or television series.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 17, 2026 04:58 PM (gnNyN)

174 My favorite Ben Stiller movie is Along Came Polly:

Jennifer Aniston at her peak.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:56 PM (0cOSz)

-------------

It's funny that they wanted a "big name" so brought in a forgettable Aniston (except for the "flair" scene) for "Office Space."

Now THAT is a movie that I always wished had a sequel ...

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 04:58 PM (xU6sC)

175 @127 without prime Cynthia Gibb any remake of Youngblood will be crap

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 17, 2026 04:59 PM (gu0hJ)

176 158 Having never read any of the Tolkien writings I found The Hobbit movies enjoyable entertainment. I understand the criticism from devotees of the books though.
Posted by: Ben Had at April 17, 2026 04:55 PM (yAteE)

Oh I enjoyed them. Try reading the Hobbit sometime. Really a short read. It’s very good. Now you would have nice mental images of the boos’ characters as a bonus!

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 04:59 PM (pDt9x)

177 Sort of Hollywood: I saw a clip the other day of Elmo speaking Arabic. Yes, on the American version of the show, not a Middle Eastern one. Is he gonna throw Bert and Ernie off a skyscraper now?

Posted by: Ian S. at April 17, 2026 04:59 PM (3ha+O)

178 Anything so we get a $200 million adaptation of God Emperor of Dune so I can watch a giant, CGI, man-sandworm hybrid argue with Jason Mamoa about the nature of political power for 3 hours.]

See, I know you're being sarcastic and critical, but I would definitely watch that.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 17, 2026 04:59 PM (Riz8t)

179 155 I liked Stiller in Tropic Thunder, although he was mostly a straight man in that one, and also a retard. Which the movie lampshaded.
That movie belonged to Downey and Cruise.
Posted by: gKWVE at April 17, 2026 04:55 PM (gKWVE)
-------------------
I must have watched the scene where the guerrillas call in to Cruise with Matthew McConaughey in the background and Cruise tells the guerrilla I'm going to f*ck your face about 20 times! He made the movie for me.

Posted by: beckster at April 17, 2026 05:00 PM (kX27y)

180
George R.R. Martin -- after years of dutifully holding his tongue over some things about Game of Thrones he wasn't thrilled with -- unleashed a dracarys on prequel House of the Dragon for its deviations from his book, Fire & Blood, amid a falling out with showrunner Ryan Condal. ("We got into season two, and [Condal] basically stopped listening to me," Martin said. "I would give notes, and nothing would happen."

--------

"We're sick of hearing about your wiener!"

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 17, 2026 05:00 PM (azNOR)

181 The La Brea Tar Pits are another site I regret not visiting when I was in California, along with Alcatraz and the Winchester Mystery House.
Posted by: Bulg at April 17, 2026 04:58 PM (77rzZ)

You reminded me of Adam Carolla's movie The Hammer. He had a first date where they went to the pits.

The Hammer and Road Hard are two really good movies imo.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 05:00 PM (0cOSz)

182 Just saw a trailer from Angel studios about an upcoming Reagan-Gorbachev summit movie that looks maybe OK.

Posted by: gp at April 17, 2026 05:00 PM (N8ZBc)

183 The narrative complexity is off the charts. It's very nonlinear in parts and there are far too many characters.

---------------

This was my biggest complaint with Game of Thrones (in addition to them killing off the only likable character -- Ned Stark -- in Season 1).

I needed a white board and colored string to keep track of the two dozen different plot lines and story arcs ...

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 05:01 PM (xU6sC)

184 I watched "Balls Up," with Marky Mark.

It was meh - but if you're making the first comedy movie in 15 years, it doesn't have to be a world beater, I suppose.

There was, however, a lengthy scene in the middle that made me laugh. It was a comedic parody of Heart of Darkness, where the Colonel Kurtz character is a SoCal AWFL environmental activist who's gone on a berserk rampage in the Amazon rainforest.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 17, 2026 05:01 PM (BI5O2)

185 121 Is the 'killing word' in the Dune book?

I don't recall that in the new Dune movies:

Has there ever been another two part movie where the first part was great and the second part sucked donkey......
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 04:45 PM (0cOSz)
----
I don't think so, but the name "Muad'Dib" was used as a battlecry in the book. Sort of the same thing?

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 17, 2026 05:02 PM (cWLG3)

186 What this country needs is more fake reality shows.

Posted by: Case at April 17, 2026 05:02 PM (pvf3X)

187 Of course just IMHO.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg

No, it is very definitely the best Kung Fu movie ever. And funny. The funny translates very nicely.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at April 17, 2026 05:03 PM (cxFcK)

188 This was my biggest complaint with Game of Thrones (in addition to them killing off the only likable character -- Ned Stark -- in Season 1).

I needed a white board and colored string to keep track of the two dozen different plot lines and story arcs ...
Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 05:01 PM (xU6sC)
----
Wheel of Time would have had this problem, even if they had made a faithful adaptation. The first few books are straightforward quest runs. From Book 4 onwards, it skews heavily into political intrigue as each of the different storylines involve power struggles of one sort or another. Very complex and difficult to understand without a roadmap that you can only get from the books.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 17, 2026 05:03 PM (gnNyN)

189 All actors will be AI within about five years. Why pay someone when you can use John Wayne or Burt Lancaster for free?

Posted by: Thomas Paine

And they won't go rogue and say stupid things to alienate the audience and torpedo their own projects, either.

Plus they do their own stunts.

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at April 17, 2026 05:03 PM (OUMaO)

190 169 I'm looking forward to God Of War VII, Ironing For One, or How To Cope With Divorce.
Posted by: Carl Sagan's Stunt Double at April 17, 2026 04:57 PM (7Q0e+)

As a huge fan of the original GoW trilogy, I shudder to think how GoW is going to be butchered on screen. Also no way the original series survives intact after it gets the remake treatment.

Posted by: Thrawn at April 17, 2026 05:03 PM (9Ovst)

191 Just saw a trailer from Angel studios about an upcoming Reagan-Gorbachev summit movie that looks maybe OK.

Posted by: gp at April 17, 2026 05:00 PM (N8ZBc)

-------------

That sounds most interesting.

The Frost/Nixon (200

film was pretty well done.

Frank Langella and Michael Sheen pulled it off ...

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 05:03 PM (xU6sC)

192 190 As a huge fan of the original GoW trilogy, I shudder to think how GoW is going to be butchered on screen. Also no way the original series survives intact after it gets the remake treatment.

Posted by: Thrawn at April 17, 2026 05:03 PM (9Ovst)

======

Ronald D. Moore is showrunning.

I trust that man with my entertainment.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 05:03 PM (B5oTI)

193 5pm news

MSNow ... Trump voters begin to turn on him over war and economy.

Talk about recycling a plot...

I have to check on Snowflake. Beautiful day but she's been sleping inside for 6 hours,.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 17, 2026 05:04 PM (Sco7b)

194 I could watch 6 hours of Dune and not figure out what is going on

Posted by: Skip at April 17, 2026 05:04 PM (Ia/+0)

195 Just saw a trailer from Angel studios about an upcoming Reagan-Gorbachev summit movie that looks maybe OK.

Posted by: gp

Angel's had a better track record than Disney recently (even with that excretory "Animal Farm" mutation taken into account). I'd at least give it a look.

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at April 17, 2026 05:05 PM (OUMaO)

196 I am awaiting season two of Landman on DVD.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 17, 2026 05:06 PM (yAteE)

197 The original "Malcolm In The Middle" series was so good, and Stevie and the other Krelboynes were a big part of that.

*Malcolm interrupts Stevie macking on a girl*
Stevie: "Can't you see I'm...((asthmatic wheeze))...workin' here?! ...((asthmatic wheeze))"

There's a lot of woke turds already in the pipeline that have to be flushed out before the system is cleansed. This bolus was one of them. Too bad.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at April 17, 2026 05:06 PM (kpS4V)

198 196 I am awaiting season two of Landman on DVD.
Posted by: Ben Had at April 17, 2026 05:06 PM (yAteE)

I just finished it.

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 05:06 PM (pDt9x)

199 As a huge fan of the original GoW trilogy, I shudder to think how GoW is going to be butchered on screen. Also no way the original series survives intact after it gets the remake treatment.

Posted by: Thrawn

In the end, there will be only ~~chaos~~ slop.

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at April 17, 2026 05:06 PM (OUMaO)

200 I just rewatched a series on Prime called The English with Emily Blunt about an Englishwoman's search for a bad guy in the American west. Really good. I didn't catch that it was produced by the BBC but it reeks of the Brits after a rewatch. The Pawnee Indian sidekick is really well cast. He's awesome.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (cxFcK)

201 Ronald D. Moore is showrunning.

I trust that man with my entertainment.

He was good until he tried to turn Battlestar Galactica into a 9/11 allegory.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (UmGiD)

202 188 This was my biggest complaint with Game of Thrones (in addition to them killing off the only likable character -- Ned Stark -- in Season 1).

I needed a white board and colored string to keep track of the two dozen different plot lines and story arcs ...
Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 05:01 PM (xU6sC)
----
Wheel of Time would have had this problem, even if they had made a faithful adaptation. The first few books are straightforward quest runs. From Book 4 onwards, it skews heavily into political intrigue as each of the different storylines involve power struggles of one sort or another. Very complex and difficult to understand without a roadmap that you can only get from the books.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 17, 2026 05:03 PM (gnNyN)
----
And when the source material ran out during season 5 all that complexity went to sh1t.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (cWLG3)

203 "Having never read any of the Tolkien writings I found The Hobbit movies enjoyable entertainment. I understand the criticism from devotees of the books though.
Posted by: Ben Had"

I thought the Hobbit movies were pretty good. The Lord of the Rings trilogy was incomprehensible to somebody that did not read the books. It would be nothing more than cool battle scenes mixed up with something about some wizards and stupid ring.

Posted by: Ripley at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (GUOwU)

204 OY.

Update on Stormy Daniels and Michael Avenatti. She looks like a tranny and he looks gay.

https://tinyurl.com/2n7ds8v2

Posted by: beckster at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (kX27y)

205 201 Ronald D. Moore is showrunning.

I trust that man with my entertainment.

He was good until he tried to turn Battlestar Galactica into a 9/11 allegory.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (UmGiD)

======

I think he handled the analogy well.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (B5oTI)

206 163 All actors will be AI within about five years. Why pay someone when you can use John Wayne or Burt Lancaster for free?
Posted by: Thomas Paine

I thought there was issues with monetizing their images and voices.

The YouTube shorts with Ahnald playing everybody are supposedly revenue free.

Posted by: Auspex at April 17, 2026 05:08 PM (Y8DZL)

207 201 Ronald D. Moore is showrunning.

I trust that man with my entertainment.

He was good until he tried to turn Battlestar Galactica into a 9/11 allegory.
Posted by: Ian S. at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (UmGiD

Pro or con?

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 17, 2026 05:08 PM (Sco7b)

208 I am awaiting season two of Landman on DVD.
Posted by: Ben Had at April 17, 2026 05:06 PM (yAteE

Reminded me to watch Sling Blade again. Haven't watched it in over ten years.

Can't believe it's been 20 years since it came out.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 17, 2026 05:08 PM (0cOSz)

209 Plus they do their own stunts.

A zombie John Wayne porking a zombie Clara Bow?

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at April 17, 2026 05:08 PM (Kt19C)

210 Ben Stiller is OK in small doses. Dodgeball, for example. If he's the centerpoint of the movie, then it becomes vomit-inducing. Tropic Thunder was saved by the other characters like Cruise and Downey Jr. IMHO.

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at April 17, 2026 05:08 PM (QaH55)

211 I watched "Balls Up," with Marky Mark.

It was meh - but if you're making the first comedy movie in 15 years, it doesn't have to be a world beater, I suppose.

There was, however, a lengthy scene in the middle that made me laugh. It was a comedic parody of Heart of Darkness, where the Colonel Kurtz character is a SoCal AWFL environmental activist who's gone on a berserk rampage in the Amazon rainforest.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 17, 2026 05:01 PM (BI5O2)

-------------

For those who haven't seen it, I highly recommend the documentary "Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse."

It was one crazy set and scenes ...

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 05:08 PM (xU6sC)

212 He was good until he tried to turn Battlestar Galactica into a 9/11 allegory.
Posted by: Ian S. at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (UmGiD

Pro or con?
Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 17, 2026 05:08 PM

Too incoherent to tell, ultimately, but I'm pretty sure he hated Dubya.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 17, 2026 05:08 PM (UmGiD)

213 All actors will be AI within about five years. Why pay someone when you can use John Wayne or Burt Lancaster for free?

Posted by: Thomas Paine

And they won't go rogue and say stupid things to alienate the audience and torpedo their own projects, either.

-----

Ted Sarandos Responds After Video of ChalametGPT's Daycare Rape Spree Shocks America: "It Was Just a Hallucination... It Was Just Trying to Please You."

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 17, 2026 05:09 PM (BI5O2)

214 All actors will be AI within about five years. Why pay someone when you can use John Wayne or Burt Lancaster for free?
Posted by: Thomas Paine

I thought there was issues with monetizing their images and voices.

The YouTube shorts with Ahnald playing everybody are supposedly revenue free.

Posted by: Auspex

The "AI ruins Star Wars" videos are entertaining enough.

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at April 17, 2026 05:09 PM (OUMaO)

215 204 OY.

Update on Stormy Daniels and Michael Avenatti. She looks like a tranny and he looks gay.

https://tinyurl.com/2n7ds8v2
Posted by: beckster at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (kX27y)

The Wall comes for everyone.

Posted by: Thrawn at April 17, 2026 05:09 PM (9Ovst)

216 I'll recommend again, "A Great Awakening" about the 18th century evangelist, George Whitefield and his friendship with Ben Franklin. Very inspiring story and well acted. Produced by "Sight and Sound" productions . We went about 2:30 in the afternoon. More people then we've ever seen for an early afternoon feature.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 17, 2026 05:09 PM (pf+DM)

217 "A Great Awakening" Added to my list, thanks!

Posted by: gp at April 17, 2026 05:10 PM (N8ZBc)

218 197 The original "Malcolm In The Middle" series was so good, and Stevie and the other Krelboynes were a big part of that.

*Malcolm interrupts Stevie macking on a girl*
Stevie: "Can't you see I'm...((asthmatic wheeze))...workin' here?! ...((asthmatic wheeze))"

There's a lot of woke turds already in the pipeline that have to be flushed out before the system is cleansed. This bolus was one of them. Too bad.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at April 17, 2026 05:06 PM (kpS4V)
---
Stevie in the Netflix new series is gay and has hoop-stretched ear lobes. He has an adopted kid with his partner.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 17, 2026 05:10 PM (cWLG3)

219 Ben Stiller is OK in small doses. Dodgeball, for example. If he's the centerpoint of the movie, then it becomes vomit-inducing. Tropic Thunder was saved by the other characters like Cruise and Downey Jr. IMHO.

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at April 17, 2026 05:08 PM (QaH55)

------------

I first saw Tropic Thunder maybe five years ago -- and Downey, Jr. had me literally crying with laughter.

How did he escape getting cancelled for wearing blackface throughout it? Great stuff ... and I didn't realize it (* SPOILER ALERT *) Cruise dancing at the end there until reading somewhere here in these comments.

Posted by: ShainS at April 17, 2026 05:11 PM (xU6sC)

220 Mrs B is currently watch Game of Thrones again. I sit in my room watching a baseball game and hear that horrible opening soundtrack. I always think of the South Park parody , "Wiener, wiener, wiener". I'll be happy when she's done.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at April 17, 2026 05:11 PM (cxFcK)

221 Why are there no remakes of the Doris Wishman movies? No love for Hideout in the Sun?

Posted by: Chuck Martel at April 17, 2026 05:11 PM (Dv3i1)

222 Season 2 of Landman is available on Paramount +

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 05:11 PM (pDt9x)

223 Posted by: beckster at April 17, 2026 05:07 PM (kX2

I thought you said update

Posted by: ... at April 17, 2026 05:11 PM (vE0+H)

224 People often ask me, "How do you manage to go to the movies so often."

revivalhub.com

I can see "The Godfather," "The Big Lebowski," "Predator," and the one I'm going to see: "Sorcerer", William Friedkin's cult-classic flop follow-up to "The Exorcist."

I'm lying, of course. Nobody asks me that. But if they did, that's what I'd say.

Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at April 17, 2026 05:11 PM (/d4WW)

225 It just occurred to me that the Repairman Jack books by F. Paul Wilson that I've been reading the past few weeks could be turned into a decent television show spanning 5-6 seasons of 22+ episodes.

They're very episodic in nature, so you could pack a couple of books into each season, leading up to the grand finale in season 5 or 6.

But that would require Hollywood to understand and respect the source material, as well as hire quality writer to adapt the source material.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 17, 2026 05:11 PM (gnNyN)

226 All the woke stuff is is about making sure the culture is divided. That's why they don't seem to care about losing money.

Posted by: ... at April 17, 2026 05:12 PM (vE0+H)

227 Tornado warnings sent me to the basement twice already this week, and it looks like tonite will be number three.

Posted by: gp at April 17, 2026 05:12 PM (N8ZBc)

228 I intiailly resisted reading LoTR back in college, partly because it's in my nature to go against whatever the going trend is. I was put off by the idea of elves and goblins and the like, thinking them childish. But I finally gave in and decided I'd try it for 30 pages or so and if it held my interest by then I'd go on, if not I'd drop it. Well, it did hold my interest and I started reading it voraciously. Hell. I even took up pipe-smoking for crying out loud! (Talk about being weak minded and easily influenced. Heh.). I have re-read LoTR multiple times since and will continue doing so.

That having been said, I read The Hobbit a bit later, after the first read of LoTR and came to the conclusion that if I'd read it first, I would probably not have gone on to the Trilogy (and yes, I know it's not a trilogy).. I thought it a bit childish (in fact I thought I read that Tolkien had written it for his children - maybe I'm wrong). Anyways, that my take and no doubt others will disagree. And I respect that.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at April 17, 2026 05:13 PM (QSxSN)

229 Afternoon, folken!

I am in exciting suburban -- or urban; it's hard to tell -- Pine Bluff, AR, after a smooth but tiring 8.5 hour drive. It's hot outside, and the AC in the hotel room is working hard, but it's getting the place cool. In a little bit I will go out to a seafood/burger place only a short distance away that looks good.

What's been happening here?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 17, 2026 05:13 PM (0SlUx)

230 tubal, I don't do any of the streaming things. No high speed service out in my part of the boonies.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 17, 2026 05:13 PM (yAteE)

231 227 Tornado warnings sent me to the basement twice already this week, and it looks like tonite will be number three.
Posted by: gp at April 17, 2026 05:12 PM (N8ZBc)

What is your AO if I may ask?

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 05:13 PM (pDt9x)

232 221 Why are there no remakes of the Doris Wishman movies? No love for Hideout in the Sun?

Give 'em time. Though my money would be on "reboots" of "Nude on the Moon" or "Dildo Heaven".

Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at April 17, 2026 05:13 PM (/d4WW)

233 I love the series, but it's unfilmable, even with AI.

It's just too *weird.* There's so much bizarre world-building you'd never be able to explain it to your audience in any meaningful way.

The narrative complexity is off the charts. It's very nonlinear in parts and there are far too many characters.

There's no conceivable way this could be made into a major movie series or television series.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 17, 2026 04:58 PM (gnNyN)
_______________________

I admit, it would be a monumental task, that would likely require an innovative way of presentation. Probably heavily dependent upon a narrator and flashbacks. Plus, the attracted audience (initially) would require it to be dumbed down. It's one of the few books(s) that for me, all you need do is mention a character name and it will make me laugh....such as Kruppe, or Karsa Orlong. They were hilarious in a manipulative and brutal way. And Gods living among regular people was pretty unique.

Posted by: Orson at April 17, 2026 05:14 PM (dIske)

234
Donald P. Bellisario makes the best stuff.

Posted by: Frank Barone at April 17, 2026 05:14 PM (IifOV)

235 231 North central Illinois.

Posted by: gp at April 17, 2026 05:14 PM (N8ZBc)

236 >>> Utah Supreme Court Justice Allegedly Caught Having an ‘Inappropriate’ Relationship With Leftist Attorney Who Helped Dems Steal a Congressional Seat

LOL - Prog Judges are literally in bed with Prog Politicians... or their legal beagles anyway.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 17, 2026 05:14 PM (/lPRQ)

237 AI response -
The Wheel of Time was canceled by Amazon after three seasons primarily due to high production costs and insufficient ratings, which led the company to prioritize other projects like "The Rings of Power." Additionally, there were concerns about the show's creative direction and support from Amazon, which limited its potential to fully adapt the expansive source material.
____

Haha, they decided to pour more into the RoP money pit! WoT, as bad as the adaptation was, was at least watchable. RoP is not.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at April 17, 2026 05:15 PM (Dv3i1)

238 Or shitty garbage
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 17, 2026 04:16 PM (+UZHh)

That, too.

I am delightfully aloof from the entire topic of this post. I don't own a TV, don't go to movies, and have never been a gamer. All that shit just does. not. matter. To me. I know it does to some, and that is why Ace reports on it.

Anyway, I am going to put on my waterproof shoes, and go outside and stand in the slush, and work on vehicles while the Sun shines. It's about 40 degrees outside, and half-ass pleasant, so I may as well take advantage of it.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 17, 2026 05:15 PM (utfVc)

239 230 tubal, I don't do any of the streaming things. No high speed service out in my part of the boonies.
Posted by: Ben Had at April 17, 2026 05:13 PM (yAteE

Ah. Well, it is well worth your wait, Ben Had. No spoilers from me ! Well, just one - Dumbledore dies in Episode 6.

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 05:15 PM (pDt9x)

240 Thing is,

Most modern writers are too damn lazy to create anything from scratch. They pirate others’ successes and ideas and characters and plot lines.

It’s pretty sad actually.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 17, 2026 05:15 PM (hTSkD)

241 There was, however, a lengthy scene in the middle that made me laugh. It was a comedic parody of Heart of Darkness, where the Colonel Kurtz character is a SoCal AWFL environmental activist who's gone on a berserk rampage in the Amazon rainforest.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice

I found a gem of a flick called the Green Inferno about a bunch of woke eco warriors who travel to Colombia to wage eco war. Instead they are captured by a tribe of cannibals who eat them. Heartwarming. Gruesome, but heartwarming.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at April 17, 2026 05:15 PM (cxFcK)

242 Skip: "I could watch 6 hours of Dune and not figure out what is going on"

The current Universal emperor of all planets is insecure about his hold on power. The most important component of that power is Spice, an essential source for interplanetary travel. A popular leader (House of Atreides) threatens the unpopular emperor so the Emperor wants him dead with some plausible deniability to the assassination. The emperor succeeds so his son, Paul, acts to avenge his death (and perform more universal goods).

All the side stories revolve around the development and back story of Paul Atreides' rise to power over evil.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 17, 2026 05:16 PM (oji8u)

243 gp go if its a warning and good luck

Posted by: Skip at April 17, 2026 05:16 PM (Ia/+0)

244 the greatest movie ever made

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVikyrWOXGk

Posted by: Ghost of Movies past at April 17, 2026 05:16 PM (jrgJz)

245 240 Thing is,

Most modern writers are too damn lazy to create anything from scratch. They pirate others’ successes and ideas and characters and plot lines.

It’s pretty sad actually.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 17, 2026 05:15 PM (hTSkD)
---
Sounds like how AI writes new stories.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 17, 2026 05:17 PM (cWLG3)

246 The only thing I watch these days is Megavalance, Beard Meets Food, and Programming videos.

I will see Godzilla Minus Zero because Godzilla, nuff said.

As far as Doomsday, it's going to do alright, they got the band back together and that will be enough to push it over a billy.

The real question is how much damage they do to their versuses and multiversues.

Basically everything is getting too complicated and convoluted to continue.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 17, 2026 05:17 PM (XV/Pl)

247 Ace doubts the appeal of Mua’dib and his jihad?! Never! The spice must flow!

Posted by: Brometheus at April 17, 2026 05:17 PM (GYrNB)

248 Donald P. Bellisario makes the best stuff.
Posted by: Frank Barone at April 17, 2026

***
Well, after all, they named a mile-wide ship after him.

(Sort of.)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 17, 2026 05:18 PM (0SlUx)

249
All actors will be AI within about five years. Why pay someone when you can use John Wayne or Burt Lancaster for free?
Posted by: Thomas Paine

I thought there was issues with monetizing their images and voices.

The YouTube shorts with Ahnald playing everybody are supposedly revenue free.

Posted by: Auspex

===============

You don't have to use real actors. Just keep typing in prompts until you get exactly what you want.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 17, 2026 05:18 PM (n7rxJ)

250 It's garbage.

Posted by: Guy who always says "It's garbage" at April 17, 2026 05:18 PM (sxR4m)

251 Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 17, 2026 05:16 PM (oji8u)

That's a good thumbnail description. Thanks. I also found the movie indecipherable and didn't feel like reading the books to figure it out.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at April 17, 2026 05:18 PM (QSxSN)

252 Thanks, Skip!

Posted by: gp at April 17, 2026 05:19 PM (N8ZBc)

253 I'm currently watching a YouTube video on how to grease your tractor, it's literally more entertaining than anything I've seen on TV for the last ten years.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 17, 2026 05:20 PM (XV/Pl)

254 I know this will come as a shock and surprise to you all

Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird are getting divorced.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 17, 2026 05:20 PM (wuYg+)

255 235 231 North central Illinois.
Posted by: gp at April 17, 2026 05:14 PM (N8ZBc)

Ah. Thanks. Down here in Soquth Missouri. Looks like the sportiest weather verging to north - this time!

Posted by: tubal at April 17, 2026 05:21 PM (pDt9x)

256 Raft of garbage floating on a sea of shit.

On the raft is where you want to be.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 17, 2026 05:21 PM (/lPRQ)

257 250 It's garbage

Well, Hollywood had to work with a too-long novel by a drunken cokehead who was also a closeted pedophile, so

Posted by: gKWVE at April 17, 2026 05:21 PM (gKWVE)

258 Wheel of Time and God of War were both produced by Rafe "Shit Garbage" Judkins, so no surprise they're both gay fanfic shit quality. (Don't know anything about God of War, but I refused to watch WoT after the abomination of a first season. Love the books, the show made me angry)

Posted by: tintex at April 17, 2026 05:22 PM (sBl13)

259 if i don’t like someone in real life i won’t watch anything they’re in.

ps justified was ruined to placate the floyd crowd.
utter trash.

Posted by: cherries in season at April 17, 2026 05:22 PM (+mkoG)

260 Nood woke week

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 17, 2026 05:22 PM (gu0hJ)

261 Nood Woke

Posted by: Dad of Six at April 17, 2026 05:22 PM (N96RI)

262 I'm currently watching a YouTube video on how to grease your tractor, it's literally more entertaining than anything I've seen on TV for the last ten years.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 17, 2026

***
Not surprising. My girlfriend thinks my tractor's sexy, after all.
( -- Kenny Chesney)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 17, 2026 05:23 PM (0SlUx)

263 Please vote on whether you think these projects are Shit or Garbage?

Dear Mr. O'Spades,

Could I teach you about Venn Diagrams, and specifically what's known as the "intersection", wherein the sets overlap?

Some commentators here refer to this as "the power of and", but intersection is a much classier, and more profound, word than 'and', don't you think?

Posted by: Kamala! 2028! 2032! at April 17, 2026 05:23 PM (0sNs1)

264 It's real simple. Tits and violence, with occasional wisecracks. No 4D plots, no pet politics, no preaching. Just tits. Just violence. A couple jokes. It's been that way for 4,000 years.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at April 17, 2026 05:23 PM (CwhoI)

265 FWIW, I regard the Dune series to be fantasy, not science fiction. There is practically no science (or engineering) in it at all. Pretty much everything important is accomplished by magic. Not in so many words, but in effect, at least.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 17, 2026 05:23 PM (utfVc)

266 Der Week in Woke

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 17, 2026 05:23 PM (0SlUx)

267 254 I know this will come as a shock and surprise to you all

Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird are getting divorced.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 17, 2026 05:20 PM (wuYg+)

Bitchy unhappy women and still bitchy and unhappy, be they lesbians or straight. Sooner or later...

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at April 17, 2026 05:23 PM (QaH55)

268 I guess the carpet really is greener……

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 17, 2026 05:24 PM (Dnq7b)

269 Godzilla Zero giving Lady Liberty the business might be worth a YouTube short.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 17, 2026 05:25 PM (/lPRQ)

270 Most modern writers are too damn lazy to create anything from scratch.
---

I write from scratch--and I'm not very successful. And if I were, I would probably be hamstrung as for creating anything from scratch.

Audiences want exactly what they want.

Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at April 17, 2026 05:28 PM (/d4WW)

271 I guess the carpet really is greener……
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 17, 2026 05:24 PM

Can you, like, dye down there?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 17, 2026 05:29 PM (0sNs1)

272 That Supergirl pile of excrement is in the top 10 most anticipated movies of the summer? Call me very very skeptical. I’m anticipating my next big dump more than that movie.

Posted by: Elric the Blade at April 17, 2026 05:29 PM (cvmAx)

273
Godzilla looks pissed.

Posted by: YIKES! at April 17, 2026 05:31 PM (OgWfa)

274 I know this will come as a shock and surprise to you all

Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird are getting divorced.

It's always the children who suffer the most.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 17, 2026 05:34 PM (vTZFs)

275 I SOOOOOOO wish someone would do Anne McCaffrey's "Pern", but I have NO faith in Hollywood to be faithful with the lore.

-SLV

Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at April 17, 2026 05:39 PM (7kJyR)

276 I have zero interest in seeing RDJ as Doctor Doom; more of this multiverse mumble f**kery.

Add to that they are stuffing the cast with the stage iv f*cktards like Wang me (She Ra Liu or whatever the f**k his name is) and a bunch of other D list loser heroes that nobody gives a f*ck about, the only thing I want to see about this movie is how catastrophically it's going to fail.

Someone mentioned above all this cinematic trash has made them apathetic for the odd good movie that comes out; same here. I thought about seeing Maverick in the theater but i just couldn't give enough of a cr*p to go. My wife dragged me to the F1 movie (she even paid (and with food it was north of 70 bucks) It was ok; she had a ball pointing out all the stuff they got wrong.
And this avalanche of trash has leaked into video games as well; everything i enjoy is covered in a patina of woke sh*t. Just takes the shine out of even the simplest of things.

Posted by: Nelly at April 17, 2026 05:53 PM (6+ehB)

277 Godzilla Minus 1 was the best movie I've seen in 10 years. No shit.

Posted by: The Whine Guy at April 17, 2026 06:10 PM (954tc)

278 And here's the thing, Godzilla mins 1 was made for something like $6 million. And you can't tell the difference between it and a movie they spent $400 million on.

Posted by: The Whine Guy at April 17, 2026 06:10 PM (954tc)

279 140 'Even after the bag ran out and I stopped feeding them, the crows hung around for months aftrerward, still wiating for more puppy chow, before eventually giving up.
Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 04:37 PM (Av6i5)

The biologists who study ravens in Seattle area use cat kibble to lure the ravines in since they love cat chow.
Posted by: Kindltot

Yes, cat chow is about the same size as some puppy chows -- probably he same stuff inside each type bag, but packaged for different :"markets." So yeah cat chow would probably work just as well -- but I suspect costs a bit more per pound.

Posted by: zombie at April 17, 2026 06:20 PM (Av6i5)

280 From the Trailer the sub-title for Street Fighter should be "Revenge of the Worn-Out Tropes."

There doesn't seem to be an original thought from beginning to end. It would work better as a parody a la "Not Another Action Movie" with the right ironic juxtaposition of incongruities.

Posted by: Minuteman at April 17, 2026 06:25 PM (47/pr)

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