Oh No: Chuck Norris Dead at 86

I saw commenters mentioning that Norris had been hospitalized. I did not bother to put it in the sidebar because I thought about all the Chuck Norris memes and decided, for real, that there was no way Norris wouldn't spin-kick this "medical emergency" in the face.

Chuck Norris is a medical emergency.

But alas, Norris has died.

Chuck Norris, the martial artist-turned-Hollywood icon whose name became synonymous with toughness both on and off the screen, has died at 86 after a sudden medical emergency, his family confirmed Friday.
In a statement shared on social media, Norris' family said he passed away Thursday morning surrounded by loved ones. "While we would like to keep the circumstances private, please know that he was surrounded by his family and was at peace," the statement read. They described him not only as a global figure known for discipline and strength, but as "a devoted husband, a loving father and grandfather... and the heart of our family," emphasizing a life grounded in faith, purpose, and commitment to those closest to him.
Best known to millions as the star of "Walker, Texas Ranger," Norris built a decades-long career that bridged martial arts mastery and mainstream entertainment. His work in films like "Delta Force" and his long-running television role turned him into a cultural fixture, while his real-life persona -- rooted in discipline, patriotism, and Christian faith -- resonated with fans well beyond Hollywood. Over time, that image took on a life of its own, fueling the internet-famous "Chuck Norris facts" that turned him into a larger-than-life symbol of American grit.
The family noted that Norris had recently been hospitalized following a medical emergency while in Hawaii, a development that had drawn concern from supporters. Though early reports suggested he had stabilized and was in good spirits, his passing came just days later.
...
Just days before his death, Norris marked his 86th birthday with a message that now reads as a fitting reflection of the life he led. Sharing a video of himself training outdoors, he wrote, "I don't age. I level up," adding that he was "grateful for another year, good health and the chance to keep doing what I love." He also thanked fans for their decades of support, telling them, "To him, you were not just fans, you were his friends," as his family echoed in their statement.

Some true facts about Chuck Norris you might have forgotten:

"Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra; after ten excruciating minutes, the cobra died."

Apparently that fact was referenced in Expendables II, when Stallone says that about Chuck Norris' character.

"When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down."
"When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet -- the water gets Chuck Norris."
"There was once a street named after Chuck Norris, but the name was changed as nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives."
"Beneath Chuck Norris's beard is another fist."

"If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you."

I've only seen a handful of Chuck Norris movies, though I wanted to see more.

The one I remember really liking is Silent Rage, where Chuck Norris has to take on a kind of superpowered reanimated corpse. So it's Chuck Norris v. Frankenstein. Or Chuck Norris vs. Michael Myers and all the other invincible 80s horror movie slashers. I remember that, despite how silly that premise sounds, it was pretty decent and plausible. (Well, in the moment, it's plausible.)

I tried to find a trailer on YouTube but all I could find was this 100 minute video of the entire film.

Any suggestions? I always wanted to see Good Guys Wear Black, just going off the title.

I remember Firewalker being something unexpected for a Chuck Norris movie: kinda funny. I think there's a gag where Norris doesn't use guns and it turns out the reason he doesn't use guns is that he is absolutely incompetent with them.

Space Ice finally got around to Chuck Norris last month. That probably means there will be more Chuck Norris movies coming.

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 06:18 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 ST

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 20, 2026 06:18 PM (tW/dz)

2 Good to see you ace.

Posted by: banana Dream at March 20, 2026 06:18 PM (3uBP9)

3 nd

Posted by: ALH, Sister Golden Hair at March 20, 2026 06:18 PM (+QijZ)

4 *breaks surface, gulps air*

Posted by: The Nipponese at March 20, 2026 06:18 PM (RIvkX)

5 It's back!!!!

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at March 20, 2026 06:18 PM (eZ5tL)

6 /eastern sock off

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 20, 2026 06:19 PM (RIvkX)

7 Are we back?

Posted by: bluebell at March 20, 2026 06:19 PM (afFes)

8 RIP Chuck

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at March 20, 2026 06:19 PM (eZ5tL)

9 Good to see you Ace!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at March 20, 2026 06:19 PM (MZJrA)

10 that was a very slow and scary day. glad we are back. RIP Mr. Norris. Good guy all around.

Posted by: turambar at March 20, 2026 06:19 PM (Q0yOR)

11 Chuck Norris may his memory be a blessing.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 20, 2026 06:19 PM (RIvkX)

12 Chuck Norris was a real patriot. You never heard him bad mouth his country, not once.

Posted by: ALH, Sister Golden Hair at March 20, 2026 06:19 PM (+QijZ)

13 Chuck Norris took out the blog...

Posted by: Corona_Exile at March 20, 2026 06:20 PM (UE0CA)

14 I thought he had been deported again.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 20, 2026 06:20 PM (bbLd6)

15 Not been good day for the blog or for me. Glad at least one of those bad days got resolved.

Posted by: whig at March 20, 2026 06:20 PM (OXYBr)

16 Are we going to talk about Chuck Norris, or the recent unfortunate event?

Posted by: a.moron at March 20, 2026 06:20 PM (X5Jzz)

17 God bless Chuck Norris, it seems he was a good man.

And thank you, Pixy, for giving us the Lazarus treatment.

Posted by: bluebell at March 20, 2026 06:20 PM (afFes)

18 Chuck Norris broke the blog?

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at March 20, 2026 06:20 PM (w5FC4)

19 RIP, Mr Norris.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 20, 2026 06:20 PM (zZu0s)

20 >> Oh No: Chuck Norris Dead at 86

Like this website. /sarc

Posted by: Marcus T at March 20, 2026 06:20 PM (kIFVO)

21 RIP.

Posted by: runner at March 20, 2026 06:21 PM (GD0B3)

22 Yay! Ace is back!

Posted by: uniparty, Raping and Mutilating the children They do not Kill at March 20, 2026 06:21 PM (gxokI)

23 The Grim Reaper has applied for Witness Protection.

Posted by: davidt at March 20, 2026 06:21 PM (Q+gd/)

24
When you blog Chuck Norris to RIP, the blog dies.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at March 20, 2026 06:21 PM (n7rxJ)

25 In Chuck Norris’s beard there’s another fist.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 20, 2026 06:21 PM (bbLd6)

26 Chuck Norris broke the blog?
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at March 20, 2026 06:20 PM (w5FC4)

Yes, at the moment of his passing, the internet crapped out.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 20, 2026 06:21 PM (wVcYX)

27 Chuck Norris hospitalized Pixy.

Posted by: wth at March 20, 2026 06:21 PM (UjdFS)

28 Whig, I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day. I hope you can sleep well tonight and tomorrow will be better.

Posted by: bluebell at March 20, 2026 06:21 PM (afFes)

29 Chuck Norris vs Bruce Lee - he's so young there he must still be Kid Norris.

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at March 20, 2026 06:21 PM (eZ5tL)

30 anybody got the blackout site link for next time?

I can never remember the URL for the emergency backup HQ

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:22 PM (PYyV9)

31 Anyway, as I was saying..

Posted by: Don Black at March 20, 2026 06:22 PM (ZxPkt)

32 Hey, ever since WZs, I am wary.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 20, 2026 06:22 PM (zZu0s)

33 My favorite Chuck Norris movie is Silent Rage. Ron Silver as an ambitious doctor tests out his basically healing factor on a psycho that Chuck Norris had mortally wounded in apprehending. Cool movie.

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:22 PM (YwEeS)

34 Chuck Norris had great movies in the early 80's. Missing in action, delta force, invasion USA, etc. They were great, you felt like you would get powder burns if you sat to close to the TV, and if you rented the movie you would be cleaning your VCR with bore cleaner.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 20, 2026 06:23 PM (snZF9)

35 Aww shit I see ace mentioned Silent Rage.

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:23 PM (YwEeS)

36 Did everything just taste purple for a second?

Posted by: mikeski at March 20, 2026 06:23 PM (VHUov)

37 Our good son texted me this morning:

Somebody said Chuck Norris passed away.

I had to inform them that Chuck didn't die.

He fought the grim reaper and took his job.

---

The blog was offline today in honor of Norris's passing.

Posted by: mindful webworker has been known to at March 20, 2026 06:23 PM (jrd4M)

38 Let's not talk about Walker Texas Ranger.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (zZu0s)

39 From a Martial Arts perspective, Chuck was.a force to reckon with. He was legitimately the most dangerous man in the room. RIP Mr. Norris.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * considering the imponderables at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (cqXG5)

40
Chuck Norris was bona fide!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (P8t9A)

41 Also Delta Force (okay it is patriotic silliness with basically the Iran hostage rescue succeeding)

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (YwEeS)

42 Ah, service is restored! Wha' hoppen? A DDOS, or did some of Pixy's hampsters stage a sit-down strike?

I heard a good Chuck Norris gag this morning on the Walton & Johnson show. Now I can't recall what it was. Gimme some time.

How is everybody?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (wzUl9)

43 ...and we're back.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (CHHv1)

44 Why did the chicken NOT cross the road?

"There was once a street named after Chuck Norris, but the name was changed as nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives."

Posted by: wth at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (UjdFS)

45 There used to be 5 heads on Mt Rushmore until Chuck didn’t like the way one of them were looking at him.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (fTG6a)

46 I like what someone said about Chuck Norris: he was like Daniel Boone in that his legend far outstripped his actual achievements, and we all love him for it.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (PYyV9)

47 >> Chuck Norris dead at 86

“ Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants.”

Psalm 115:16

Posted by: Marcus T at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (kIFVO)

48 And it has a very old but still great Lee Marvin.

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (YwEeS)

49
Finally able to access Ace. Dang, the withdrawal has been awful, lol.

Was the site down or was it the shitty internet here in SW Wyoming?

Posted by: fourseasons at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (3ek7K)

50 I blame Trump. Only The Don had the resolve to challenge Chuck.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (LkMIg)

51 What's this now.

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (4NO2D)

52 Chuck Norris lived a blessed, long life. It’s sad he has passed, but there is much to celebrate about his life to ease that sadness.

Posted by: Piper at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (hftzA)

53 Good to be back!

Posted by: Doof at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (QMAsf)

54 I've had withdrawals.

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (4NO2D)

55 Chuck Norris is dead, and for a while the blog seemed so also.
Is it a Pixie fixin'.

Posted by: From about That Time at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (sl73Y)

56 I have the blackout blog link at home, but when I tried searching on my phone, I just got MWs page talking about the blog being down. I am nkt even sure it was this time.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (zZu0s)

57 From a Martial Arts perspective, Chuck was.a force to reckon with. He was legitimately the most dangerous man in the room. RIP Mr. Norris.

Yeah he was genuinely very, VERY good. World class.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (PYyV9)

58 Damn. I was just putting the final touches on my new podcast.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (viF8m)

59 They gave the Chuck Norris card to the FNG Grim Reaper, and backed slowly away from the rookie.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (wVcYX)

60 Glad to see AoS back up. I never thought much about Chuck Norris when he was living, though nothing against him. Had much respect for him though. Today, got teary-eyed upon seeing he had died. A giant among men. R.I.P.

Posted by: Baldy at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (TXGXc)

61 I can never remember the URL for the emergency backup HQ
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:22 PM (PYyV9)
----------

Acedark.Wordpress.com. Everyone bookmark that now, STAT!

Posted by: bluebell at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (afFes)

62 Well he and Bruce Lee get their rematch now.

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (YwEeS)

63 Chuck Norris is so fast that he can run around the Earth and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever successfully divide by zero, and he did it twice.

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people...then the grenade exploded.

Posted by: Stu Podaso at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (M0V4/)

64
Chuck Norris body slammed Death, and then Death, that pussy, insisted on "best of three".

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (P8t9A)

65 I'll admit though, I wasn't much of a fan of the Walker texas ranger series. Chuck Norris was much better as the prince of muzzle blast.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 20, 2026 06:26 PM (snZF9)

66 Whew glad we're back.

Hey, once Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at March 20, 2026 06:26 PM (2Ez/1)

67 One of my favorite Chuck Norrisism’s

“When I do push ups, I don’t push my body up, I push the earth down”.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 20, 2026 06:26 PM (kIFVO)

68 RIP, Chuck. I enjoyed your acting work.

Crap. Now only Clint Eastwood, Dick van Dyke, William Shatner, and Keith Richards can possibly provide us the key to immortality.

Posted by: Gref at March 20, 2026 06:26 PM (5rh/l)

69 The Grim Reaper has applied for Witness Protection.
Posted by: davidt at March 20, 2026

***
Thanks to you, I recalled teh Chuck Norris joke from this morning.

"Chuck Norris died because Death only now got up the courage to ask him."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at March 20, 2026 06:26 PM (wzUl9)

70 Was the site broken? I've been trying to get on all morning and the server was timing out. Was it just me?

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at March 20, 2026 06:26 PM (RCw7C)

71 in Lone Wolf McQuade, they buried Chuck AND HIS TRUCK

This really pissed Chuck off, and there was hell to pay when his truck's supercharger kicked in, and he drove out of the ground

Posted by: Don Black at March 20, 2026 06:26 PM (ZxPkt)

72 Oh man, actually, the perfect name to replace the street signs for cesar chavez.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 20, 2026 06:26 PM (n5tGW)

73 Chuck Norris lived a blessed, long life. It’s sad he has passed, but there is much to celebrate about his life to ease that sadness.
Posted by: Piper at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM

and we will, if we know what's good for us.

*looks over shoulder*

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:26 PM (4NO2D)

74 The Grim Reaper was prepared to get his ass kicked but Chuck said " It's time."

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:27 PM (YwEeS)

75 THe Boss posted the Q backup on his Twixxer feed:

Charlie Brown (@CSdildo ) put up an emergency open thread on the back-up site if you want to say hello to other regulars https://acedark.wordpress.com

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:27 PM (PYyV9)

76 The hamsters which run the blog were at the mosque in Melbourne where Albo almost got separated from his head.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 20, 2026 06:27 PM (RIvkX)

77 Now the Sun doesn't have to wear Chuck Block anymore.

Posted by: CTHillary, dead but dreaming at March 20, 2026 06:27 PM (Vpqw1)

78 I'll admit though, I wasn't much of a fan of the Walker texas ranger series. Chuck Norris was much better as the prince of muzzle blast.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 20, 2026

***
CN's Walker looks like Shakespeare or Die Hard compared to the recent wimpy/woke remake.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at March 20, 2026 06:27 PM (wzUl9)

79 Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Chuck Norris hates Raymond

Posted by: A dude in MI at March 20, 2026 06:27 PM (/6GbT)

80 Acedark.Wordpress.com. Everyone bookmark that now, STAT!
Posted by: bluebell at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM

I looked there first thing but the last entry was long ago.

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:27 PM (4NO2D)

81 I saw a good one on FNT . Chuck Norris once asked a woman to calm down and she did.

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:28 PM (YwEeS)

82 Code of Silence has Chuck unleashing autonomous killbots while kicking ass.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 20, 2026 06:28 PM (LkMIg)

83 He cheated on his first wife but didn't realize his girlfriend was pregnant when they split up. His daughter, Dina, contacted him when she was an adult. I liked how he phrased that no child is illegitimate......

--------------
The father and daughter also managed to forge a relationship, and he proudly stated that Dina's family became a 'blessed part of his life.'

'I am blessed to have her as my daughter,' he said. 'Certainly, I know now that God does not condone premarital or extramarital sexual relationships. But I've also discovered that there is no such thing as an "illegitimate child."

'Every baby is legitimate in God's eyes; every child is precious in his sight.'

Posted by: beckster at March 20, 2026 06:28 PM (I7J98)

84 Acedark.Wordpress.com. Everyone bookmark that now, STAT!

Posted by: bluebell at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (afFes)

Thank You, bluebell.

Posted by: davidt at March 20, 2026 06:28 PM (Q+gd/)

85 Fox News, in eulogizing Norris, played a short clip from Walker, Texas Ranger. The bad guy walks up towards Norris, sneering “ you forgot to read me my rights “ Norris takes two steps towards the guy and kicks him right in the face, laying the guy out cold. Looks at him and says.” you have the right to remain silent.”. Mr. Jen and I looked at each other and started laughing.

Posted by: Jen the original at March 20, 2026 06:28 PM (7n7ib)

86 I fear Clint Eastwood will soon follow, another immense legend

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:28 PM (PYyV9)

87 Chuck Norris doesn't flush. He glares at the toilet and scares the shit out of it.

Chuck Norris and Superman agreed to a fight. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Posted by: Stu Podaso at March 20, 2026 06:29 PM (M0V4/)

88 Finally. I've been like, Oh No I have lost my AoS! Proud I've got it back. How else was I going to keep up with Star Track.
( I know it's Trek, but gotta get a little dig in there)

Posted by: Case at March 20, 2026 06:29 PM (pvf3X)

89 I heard Chuck augured-in when base jumping the Na Pali.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 20, 2026 06:29 PM (/lPRQ)

90 Acedark.Wordpress.com. Everyone bookmark that now, STAT!
Posted by: bluebell at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (afFes)

Thanks. I didn't know it existed.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at March 20, 2026 06:30 PM (CSQvy)

91 But I've also discovered that there is no such thing as an "illegitimate child."

'Every baby is legitimate in God's eyes; every child is precious in his sight.

Exactly. The child is never illegitimate, only the way it was conceived.

And yes, thank you Bluebell

I didn't see your post in time.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:30 PM (PYyV9)

92 When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mother to the hospital.

Posted by: CTHillary, dead but dreaming at March 20, 2026 06:30 PM (Vpqw1)

93 I think of the action movies that might have been if Bruce Lee had't died so tragically early.

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:30 PM (YwEeS)

94 Crappy movies, but he was a fucking class act.

Posted by: The Whine Guy at March 20, 2026 06:30 PM (vOtXJ)

95
Dick Van Dyke can shove off at any time. Big fan of Red Kammie, he is!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 06:31 PM (P8t9A)

96 Spiderman wears Chuck Norris jammies.

Posted by: davidt at March 20, 2026 06:31 PM (Q+gd/)

97 Acedark.Wordpress.com. Everyone bookmark that now, STAT!
Posted by: bluebell at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM (afFes)

Done! Muchos Gracias.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 20, 2026 06:31 PM (wVcYX)

98
Our Lord & Savior bless and keep Chuck Norris.
I look forward to spending time with him in heaven and thanking him for his karate studio franchise. (As an 11 year old kid, I 'attained' yellow belt.) It was a great and deeply encouraging environment for insecure boys who didn't know how to handle bullies... until Chuck Norris showed them how!

Posted by: Bach In Black at March 20, 2026 06:31 PM (KY9hS)

99 I wonder if tomorrow's Movie Thread is getting a rewrite.

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:31 PM (4NO2D)

100 "I used to be a man trapped inside a woman's body. And then I was born." -C. Norris

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at March 20, 2026 06:32 PM (CSQvy)

101 When Chuck Norris went off to college, he shook his father's hand and said, "Now you're the man of the house."

Posted by: Stu Podaso at March 20, 2026 06:32 PM (M0V4/)

102 Invasion USA was dumb fun, even if the premise was retarded. What, several hundred commies invading D-day style on the Florida beaches? If only the "migrants" tried just that for their own invasion...

The end with Norris blowing up the baddie with a rocket (grenade) launcher is *chef kiss*.

Posted by: Thrawn at March 20, 2026 06:32 PM (9Ovst)

103 News from heaven - Chuck Norris showed up and the Devil said "Yeah, I give up."

Posted by: The Whine Guy at March 20, 2026 06:32 PM (vOtXJ)

104 Loved the CN's appearance in The Expendables.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 20, 2026 06:32 PM (wVcYX)

105 I've had withdrawals.
Posted by: toby928(c)

Jonesing ain't no joke.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * considering the imponderables at March 20, 2026 06:32 PM (cqXG5)

106 Yay. We're back!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 20, 2026 06:32 PM (MoLlY)

107 Before going to sleep, monsters checks under their bed for Chuck Norris.

Posted by: davidt at March 20, 2026 06:32 PM (Q+gd/)

108 I always remember one gag from the Howard Stern show . Howard says something like " Hollywood stars always change their names what was Dick Van Dyke's real name Penis Von Lesbian?"

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:33 PM (YwEeS)

109 Chuck Norris was born May 6, 1945.

The Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945.

Coincidence?
I don't think so.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at March 20, 2026 06:33 PM (2Ez/1)

110 Chuck Norris died 10 years ago. Only yesterday did Death work up the courage to tell him.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 20, 2026 06:33 PM (Wnv9h)

111 Chuck Norris gives the aspirin a headache.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 20, 2026 06:33 PM (n5tGW)

112 104 Loved the CN's appearance in The Expendables.
Posted by: Count de Monet at March 20, 2026 06:32 PM (wVcYX)

IIRC, Chuck said the "snake" meme line in The Expendables II.

Posted by: Thrawn at March 20, 2026 06:34 PM (9Ovst)

113 By the way, someone did the "Chuck Norris birth date" meme:

Chuck Norris was born the day before the Nazis surrendered.

But then someone put a community note of Chuck's actual birth, 10 years earlier, with lines: "Chuck Norris was 10 years old when the Nazis surrendered, easily old enough to defeat the German army."

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:34 PM (PYyV9)

114 I had to do yard work all day. Curse Pixie's hamsters.

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:34 PM (4NO2D)

115 Good evening all
Relieved to see the blog back.
Chuck Norris was in one of the Expendable films which I liked quite a lot. It is really difficult to find entertainment these days.
Question: Has anyome watched Foundation on AppleTV? Based on the Asimov books. I read the books a long time ago. Watched a couple,of episodes and can't decide if it makes any sense. It seems pretty woke?

Posted by: Sharon(willow's apprentice) at March 20, 2026 06:34 PM (t/2Uw)

116
I start my day with Ace. Ace, coffee and anger at the stupid shit happening in our country.

Posted by: fourseasons at March 20, 2026 06:34 PM (3ek7K)

117 Whoever broke the blog should have to pay reparations.

Posted by: And Have Their Increments Frozen at March 20, 2026 06:34 PM (oftw2)

118 Chuck really demonstrated his acting range in Dodgeball.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 20, 2026 06:34 PM (viF8m)

119 Acedark.Wordpress.com. Everyone bookmark that now, STAT!
Posted by: bluebell

Thanks, bluebird. I thought I'd bookmarked it, but apparently not.

I thought I'd found Ace's X account today, but nothing there about the outage.

Posted by: mindful webworker has been known to at March 20, 2026 06:35 PM (jrd4M)

120 IIRC, Chuck said the "snake" meme line in The Expendables II.

Everyone treated it completely straight faced, no jokes, it was just fact. All the expendables were in awe of him. It was a great bit.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:35 PM (PYyV9)

121 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Unfortunately he never cries.

Posted by: davidt at March 20, 2026 06:35 PM (Q+gd/)

122 13 Chuck Norris jokes (R.I.P.):

. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.
. Chuck Norris is able to slam a revolving door.
. Chuck Norris plays Jenga with Stonehenge.
. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
. The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
. Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories at the campfire.
. Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31 to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
. Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
. On the 7th day, God rested. Then, Chuck Norris took over.

Posted by: ShainS at March 20, 2026 06:35 PM (PfArb)

123 I want to watch Expendables 2 to see his part but man I watched Expendables and it is so fucking bad. I cannot stand CG blood spatter for fucks sake use squibs!

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:35 PM (YwEeS)

124 Norris' greatest role was in Dodgeball.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 20, 2026 06:35 PM (gYVzu)

125 Chuck Norris was born May 6, 1945.

The Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945.

Coincidence?
I don't think so.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at March 20, 2026 06:33 PM

Psst.....he was born in 1940.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at March 20, 2026 06:36 PM (0N4FZ)

126 By the way also saw on Twixxer that Japan's porn industry is in crisis. Apparently for every 17 "actresses" there is one male performer. I have no idea what the qualifications are other than low moral character, but probably "speaks Japanese" features n there somewhere.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:36 PM (PYyV9)

127 A Cat 3 cyclone went across the northern edge of Australia today and knocked out some of their communications. Related?

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at March 20, 2026 06:36 PM (CSQvy)

128 Question: Has anyome watched Foundation on AppleTV? Based on the Asimov books. I read the books a long time ago. Watched a couple,of episodes and can't decide if it makes any sense. It seems pretty woke?
Posted by: Sharon(willow's apprentice) at March 20, 2026 06:34 PM

It shares very slightly more with the books than the I Robot movie did.

Some parts are bothersome but overall, I have enjoyed the "different take" of it. It is a girlboss movie.

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:36 PM (4NO2D)

129 Norris' greatest role was in Dodgeball.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 20, 2026 06:35 PM

That's a bold strategy cotton.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at March 20, 2026 06:37 PM (0N4FZ)

130 Where all the ace post at?

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 20, 2026 06:37 PM (gbOdA)

131 126 I mean it's not like the dialogue is extensive...

Posted by: steevy at March 20, 2026 06:37 PM (YwEeS)

132 Chuck really demonstrated his acting range in Dodgeball.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 20, 2026 06:34 PM (viF8m)

----------------

Both he and Val Kilmer (as Doc Holliday in Tombstone) were robbed of Oscars for Best Supporting Actor.

Posted by: ShainS at March 20, 2026 06:37 PM (PfArb)

133 Whew! The Ewok returns!

Pro-tip, Ace: ya gotta feed those hamsters EVERY day.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at March 20, 2026 06:37 PM (LxER7)

134 Chuck Norris' passing caused the AoSHQ to implode in sympathy.

Posted by: eleven at March 20, 2026 06:38 PM (aTgV0)

135 Psst.....he was born in 1940.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at March 20, 2026 06:36 PM (0N4FZ)

40 45 whatever it takes

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 20, 2026 06:38 PM (gbOdA)

136 When Chuck Norris scrambles eggs, all of the ladies in the neighborhood feels his girth.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 20, 2026 06:38 PM (LkMIg)

137 CN's Walker looks like Shakespeare or Die Hard compared to the recent wimpy/woke remake.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at March 20, 2026 06:27 PM (wzUl9)

They did a remake of Walker Texas ranger? Jesus, I can't imagine what crap that is. Hollywood only likes to do remakes to slaughter the original.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 20, 2026 06:38 PM (snZF9)

138 From my end of things, the site disappeared. So, I did a tracert and we node-hopped from Tennessee till we finally ended up at static.gorillaservers.com, where the trail ground to a halt.

Whether it was Gorilla's servers in Utah that took a dump or the fault was ace.mu.nu proper (the next hop over) shall remain a mystery.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at March 20, 2026 06:38 PM (/HDaX)

139 129 Norris' greatest role was in Dodgeball.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 20, 2026 06:35 PM

That's a bold strategy cotton.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at March 20, 2026 06:37 PM (0N4FZ)

===

That thumbs up, man.

Beautiful.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 20, 2026 06:38 PM (gYVzu)

140 Acedark.Wordpress.com. Everyone bookmark that now, STAT!
Posted by: bluebell at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM

Done!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 20, 2026 06:38 PM (Wnv9h)

141 A Cat 3 cyclone went across the northern edge of Australia today and knocked out some of their communications. Related?
Posted by: Idaho Spudboy

Very possible.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 20, 2026 06:38 PM (MoLlY)

142 So I wasn't the only one who couldn't get in here...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 20, 2026 06:38 PM (VE6XX)

143 116
I start my day with Ace. Ace, coffee and anger at the stupid shit happening in our country.

Posted by: fourseasons
---

Nothing like coffee and ace, first thing, to get the juices flowing.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 20, 2026 06:38 PM (Puq9y)

144 Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Posted by: A dude in MI

Only once, though, since the resulting vacuum implodes the building.

Posted by: mikeski at March 20, 2026 06:39 PM (VHUov)

145 Variety Magazine's reaction to the news:

"Chuck Norris Was a Great Action Star -- but Politics May Overshadow His Legacy"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:39 PM (PYyV9)

146 When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss and the abyss stares back into him, the abyss blinks first.

Posted by: Zombie Friedrich Nietzsche at March 20, 2026 06:39 PM (Fs0KI)

147 I like Chuck's action movies

Posted by: Skip at March 20, 2026 06:40 PM (Ia/+0)

148
As someone whose family tree is well decorated with "illegitimate" and "remarkably rapid gestation period" children (e.g., my own father, and the current Mrs. Krebs), I can assure you that the shame -- if that even is warranted -- is the parents', not the child's. The bottom line is that such parents faced an ordeal without flinching and they passed.

Our own daughter gave birth to a child out of wedlock and placed him in an open adoption. He now is in college.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 06:40 PM (P8t9A)

149 Do not ever ever call Hattie Elizabeth Hennigans house (8713) when Walker is on because she will cook biscuit and chocolate gravy in the morning but there will be a high level of anger.

My Mamaw.

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 20, 2026 06:40 PM (gbOdA)

150 “Death just had a brush with Chuck Norris”

Unfortunately not so. Rest in peace Chuck

Posted by: Javems at March 20, 2026 06:40 PM (zFsEm)

151 Now that I think about it, Apple's Foundation has more of I, Robot in it than Smith's I, Robot did.

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:40 PM (4NO2D)

152 Crap. Now only Clint Eastwood, Dick van Dyke, William Shatner, and Keith Richards can possibly provide us the key to immortality.
Posted by: Gref at March 20, 2026 06:26 PM (5rh/l)

What am I? Chopped liver?

Posted by: Mel Brooks at March 20, 2026 06:40 PM (CSQvy)

153 Both he and Val Kilmer (as Doc Holliday in Tombstone) were robbed of Oscars for Best Supporting Actor.

Posted by: ShainS at March 20, 2026 06:37 PM (PfArb)

Thats because their balls could pull planets out of their orbits. Hollywood can't deal with that.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 20, 2026 06:40 PM (snZF9)

154 Cthulhu thought he controlled the madness. Then he met Chuck Norris.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 20, 2026 06:40 PM (gYVzu)

155 Lone Wolf McQuade. Maybe the only time I ever wanted a Ram Charger rather than a Ford Bronco.

Posted by: Turn 2 at March 20, 2026 06:41 PM (CyFyf)

156 142 So I wasn't the only one who couldn't get in here...
Posted by: It's me donna
--

It was very exclusive. It excluded everyone.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 20, 2026 06:41 PM (Puq9y)

157 Now that I think about it, Apple's Foundation has more of I, Robot in it than Smith's I, Robot did.

I, Robot was a meh movie but it had almost zero to do with the books. Sort of annoying that they named it that.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:41 PM (PYyV9)

158 Frying Dragon

Takes 2 or 3 watchings

Get deep

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 20, 2026 06:41 PM (gbOdA)

159
It was very exclusive. It excluded everyone.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 20, 2026 06:41 PM (Puq9y)

What happened ?

Posted by: It's me donna at March 20, 2026 06:41 PM (VE6XX)

160 By the way also saw on Twixxer that Japan's porn industry is in crisis. Apparently for every 17 "actresses" there is one male performer. I have no idea what the qualifications are other than low moral character, but probably "speaks Japanese" features n there somewhere.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

Chuck's passing is affecting everyone.

Posted by: mikeski at March 20, 2026 06:42 PM (VHUov)

161 Lone Wolf McQuade - buried alive in his jet powered Dodge Ram. While in the grave he is baptized in the power of Pear beer and behold the hero's return

Posted by: A dude in MI at March 20, 2026 06:42 PM (/6GbT)

162 Thanks Bluebell. Done and forwarded to others.

Posted by: Sharon(willow's apprentice) at March 20, 2026 06:42 PM (t/2Uw)

163 Welcome back, HQ.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at March 20, 2026 06:42 PM (kpS4V)

164 Maybe the only time I ever wanted a Ram Charger rather than a Ford Bronco.
Posted by: Turn 2 at March 20, 2026 06:41 PM (CyFyf)

I want a Ramcharger with the 550 HO Hurricane real bad.

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 20, 2026 06:42 PM (gbOdA)

165 Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Posted by: Max Entropy at March 20, 2026 06:42 PM (Tw86Z)

166 Chuck Norris dies and AoS goes down. I smell a conspiracy

Posted by: 18-1 at March 20, 2026 06:43 PM (sKqQm)

167 My favorite Chuck Norris Movie is the Hero and the Terror, I think that's the one he drove a truck out of a pit.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:43 PM (PYyV9)

168 The Grim Reaper took Chuck Yeager back in 2020. Waited until he was 97.

I'd like to think it took 5 years for him to recover.

Posted by: 2009Refugee at March 20, 2026 06:43 PM (8AONa)

169 Woot! The blog is back. What happened?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 20, 2026 06:44 PM (8zz6B)

170 Rosanna Arquette's tits co-starred in a couple of Chuck Norris movies.

Posted by: davidt at March 20, 2026 06:45 PM (Q+gd/)

171 >>The blog is back. What happened?

Shelving needed an Update.

Posted by: garrett at March 20, 2026 06:45 PM (erF49)

172 Woot! The blog is back. What happened?

The hamsters took time off to mourn Chuck Norris

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:45 PM (PYyV9)

173 Chuck Norris may his memory be a blessing.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 20, 2026 06:19 PM (RIvkX)

seconded!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 20, 2026 06:45 PM (8zz6B)

174 Woot! The blog is back. What happened?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Either technical problems, or the comments on the Morning Rant got so bad that the CoBs gave the whole Horde a time-out.

Posted by: mikeski at March 20, 2026 06:45 PM (VHUov)

175 When Chuck Norris arrived in Heaven, he told the angels "Be Not Afraid".

Then fellow Air Force vet Bob Ross greeted him warmly. And all was well.

Posted by: Brother Tim, still standing at March 20, 2026 06:46 PM (FIwBs)

176 I don't care
What you do
I wouldn't want to be like you

Posted by: JackStraw at March 20, 2026 06:46 PM (viF8m)

177 or the comments on the Morning Rant got so bad that the CoBs gave the whole Horde a time-out.

CBD is so strict!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:46 PM (PYyV9)

178 Posted by: whig at March 20, 2026 06:20 PM (OXYBr)

I am praying.

Posted by: ... at March 20, 2026 06:46 PM (vE0+H)

179 I never understood how the Chuck Norris So Scary jokes got started, because while he was great at martial arts he seemed so nice.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at March 20, 2026 06:47 PM (kpS4V)

180 What am I? Chopped liver?
Posted by: Mel Brooks

I wonder how many people think he died years ago.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at March 20, 2026 06:47 PM (KAi1n)

181 Chuck Norris never beat anyone in a fight.

He just allowed them to lose.

Posted by: CTHillary, dead but dreaming at March 20, 2026 06:47 PM (Vpqw1)

182 When Chuck Norris did a spinning back kick, Korea would need to brace for a tsunami.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 20, 2026 06:47 PM (LkMIg)

183 Woot! The blog is back. What happened?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon
.......

Iran is hitting us where it hurts.

Posted by: wth at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (UjdFS)

184 " Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice."

hah

Posted by: eleven at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (aTgV0)

185 So speaking of crashes, my laptop crashed a couple weeks ago which is why I’m phoning in comments here. Going to Best Buy tomorrow to look at Chromebooks, since I only ever use the thing to get on the Webz.

Any recommendations? Cheap would be best.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (LxER7)

186 Rest easy, Chuck.

Posted by: Eromero at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (LHPAg)

187 Love the kittaw in the fight scene.

Posted by: eleven at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (aTgV0)

188 I never understood how the Chuck Norris So Scary jokes got started, because while he was great at martial arts he seemed so nice.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes

Pretty sure it was a World of Warcraft chat thing that escaped into the real world (for certain values of "real").

Posted by: Brother Tim, still standing at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (FIwBs)

189 Posted by: bluebell at March 20, 2026 06:25 PM

There is also cut jib

Posted by: ... at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (vE0+H)

190 What happened ?
Posted by: It's me donna at March 20, 2026 06:41 PM

You know what you did.

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (4NO2D)

191 Either technical problems, or the comments on the Morning Rant got so bad that the CoBs gave the whole Horde a time-out.
Posted by: mikeski at March 20, 2026 06:45 PM (VHUov)
----

We can expect a full frontal Lucien Freud on the next Art Thread, and when you click on it it's a Yoko/Tanya Tagaq duet.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at March 20, 2026 06:49 PM (kpS4V)

192 Woot! The blog is back. What happened?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon
_______

I'm picturing Garret with the plug in his hand like Johnny.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at March 20, 2026 06:49 PM (XvL8K)

193 If you flip China over, it says "Made by Chuck Norris"

Posted by: Halfhand at March 20, 2026 06:49 PM (GX4Ce)

194 190 What happened ?
Posted by: It's me donna at March 20, 2026 06:41 PM

You know what you did.
Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (4NO2D)

What... I said I liked today's art...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 20, 2026 06:49 PM (VE6XX)

195 Ace's USAID money is petering out.

Posted by: eleven at March 20, 2026 06:49 PM (aTgV0)

196 176 I don't care
What you do
I wouldn't want to be like you
Posted by: JackStraw
--

Be yourself, it's more natural.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 20, 2026 06:50 PM (Puq9y)

197 You know what you did.
Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (4NO2D)

I fear she does not. Part of her charm...

Posted by: ... at March 20, 2026 06:50 PM (vE0+H)

198 Another bit is using the sniper scene from lone Wolf, but putting random clips of people going down/crashing as if shot

Posted by: A dude in MI at March 20, 2026 06:50 PM (/6GbT)

199 Donna did this?

::everyone looks at Donna::

Posted by: eleven at March 20, 2026 06:51 PM (aTgV0)

200 RIP Chuck.

Kinda weird, usually a little sad when the rare actor that I like dies, but remembering him and the memes makes me smile.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 20, 2026 06:51 PM (n5tGW)

201
The word this afternoon on downforeveryoneorjustme.com
was that ace.mu.nu was "down for everyone"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 06:52 PM (P8t9A)

202 Cheap Chromebooks work fine. I have both an Acer and an Asus and both give fine service. They were cheap. I'm surprised how bulletproof they've been.

Posted by: Frugal Frank at March 20, 2026 06:52 PM (oftw2)

203
So speaking of crashes, my laptop crashed a couple weeks ago which is why I’m phoning in comments here. Going to Best Buy tomorrow to look at Chromebooks, since I only ever use the thing to get on the Webz.

Any recommendations? Cheap would be best.
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (LxER7)

I have a $100ish Chromebook as a backup, and it sucks harder than a Jenna Jameson gangbang scene.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 20, 2026 06:52 PM (y9nCu)

204 I saw Good Guys Wear Black way back in the day in a movie theater that doesn't exist anymore. Whew, that really takes me back.

Posted by: InZona at March 20, 2026 06:52 PM (XiTQh)

205 So speaking of crashes, my laptop crashed a couple weeks ago which is why I’m phoning in comments here. Going to Best Buy tomorrow to look at Chromebooks, since I only ever use the thing to get on the Webz.

Any recommendations? Cheap would be best.
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in
......

I just bought a new HP laptop on sale from Staples - $580

Posted by: wth at March 20, 2026 06:52 PM (UjdFS)

206 Jews have Chuck Norris conspiracy theories.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 20, 2026 06:53 PM (zZu0s)

207 >or the comments on the Morning Rant got so bad that the CoBs gave the whole Horde a time-out.
------

what did you guys do

Posted by: Don Black at March 20, 2026 06:53 PM (ZxPkt)

208 I always liked Lone Wolf McQuade the best, I think, though most, if not all, were good - some better than others.

Posted by: Happy at March 20, 2026 06:53 PM (QZkUY)

209 I 've only seen one Norris film and it had Kareem Abdul Jabar in it

Posted by: It's me donna at March 20, 2026 06:53 PM (VE6XX)

210 207 >or the comments on the Morning Rant got so bad that the CoBs gave the whole Horde a time-out.
------

what did you guys do

Posted by: Don Black at March 20, 2026 06:53 PM (ZxPkt)

======

I didn't get it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 20, 2026 06:53 PM (gYVzu)

211 Alan Parson - I Robot album

https://tinyurl.com/48p6b5pu

Posted by: JackStraw at March 20, 2026 06:53 PM (viF8m)

212 Zombie Robbo. Hubby has an Asus, works great.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at March 20, 2026 06:54 PM (2NHgQ)

213
I don't care
What you do
I wouldn't want to be like you
Posted by: JackStraw

Aye aye, robot

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 20, 2026 06:54 PM (Cqx++)

214 I THOUGHT YOU ALL DIED IN A HORRIBLE TIME TRAVELING DISASTER!!!!!!

Posted by: Max Power at March 20, 2026 06:54 PM (q177U)

215 I have a cheap Acer laptop that does the job just for surfing.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 20, 2026 06:54 PM (n5tGW)

216 Chuck Norris went to heaven as there was no one on Earth who could possibly challenge him.

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at March 20, 2026 06:55 PM (DsA2n)

217 Any recommendations? Cheap would be best.
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (LxER7)

Nothing to recommend from here except get up early and pose the question on the morning tech thread. That's probably your best bet.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at March 20, 2026 06:55 PM (/HDaX)

218 >>Hubby has an Asus, works great

How carefully did you type that?

Posted by: garrett at March 20, 2026 06:55 PM (erF49)

219 or the comments on the Morning Rant got so bad that the CoBs gave the whole Horde a time-out.

CBD is so strict!
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:46 PM (PYyV9)

Don't chew gum on line!

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 20, 2026 06:55 PM (wVcYX)

220 I use my Steam Deck.

Impossible to get new ones, now, though.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 20, 2026 06:55 PM (gYVzu)

221 So I guess $580 ain't cheap?

Posted by: wth at March 20, 2026 06:55 PM (UjdFS)

222 The People Responsible For Feeding The Hamsters Have Been Fired
Sorry about that everyone. There was a networking hiccup that made the server disappear off the internet. Everything was fine once you connected to the server... But you couldn't connect to the server.

For the technically minded, the server lost all it's secondary IP addresses, both public and private, and it kind of needs those.

(Antibumped to not derail the Chuck Norris thread. RIP, Mr Norris.)

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 05:20 PM

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 20, 2026 06:56 PM (Puq9y)

223 Is it happening again?

Posted by: wth at March 20, 2026 06:57 PM (UjdFS)

224 There actually was a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to change it back to its old name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Posted by: CTHillary, dead but dreaming at March 20, 2026 06:57 PM (Vpqw1)

225 Is what happening again?

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at March 20, 2026 06:57 PM (/HDaX)

226 @221 - Yes, I’m thinking under 200. One of my kids is buying it as an early Fathers Day gift and I don’t want to impose on her.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at March 20, 2026 06:57 PM (wTkfw)

227 Garrett. After two glasses of wine, very carefully. Hope you’re enjoying the fabulous weather in the valley. 77 degrees as I type this.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at March 20, 2026 06:57 PM (2NHgQ)

228 Ground beef and freedom! That's what I got from the "Chuck Norris destroys an entire invading force" video.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 20, 2026 06:57 PM (cWLG3)

229 222 For the technically minded, the server lost all it's secondary IP addresses, both public and private, and it kind of needs those.

(Antibumped to not derail the Chuck Norris thread. RIP, Mr Norris.)

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 05:20 PM

=======

*nods sagaciously*

I understand this.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 20, 2026 06:58 PM (gYVzu)

230 Hulk Hogan , Chuck Norris - my childhood heroes are passing away. Gonna watch "Delta Force" in memorial - Chuck Norris and Lee Marvin killing terrorists. Who could ask for anything else?

Posted by: Josephistan at March 20, 2026 06:58 PM (FLx59)

231 Time traveling Israelis killed him.
Watch my 7 part series where I explain it all.

Posted by: Candace at March 20, 2026 06:58 PM (cZDTf)

232 231 Time traveling Israelis killed him.
Watch my 7 part series where I explain it all.

Posted by: Candace at March 20, 2026 06:58 PM (cZDTf)

======

Why don't the Israelis kill all of their critics if they control so much?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 20, 2026 06:58 PM (gYVzu)

233 The timing is no coincidence; the blog hampsters were grieving.

Posted by: SciVo at March 20, 2026 06:58 PM (Sy6m/)

234 213
I don't care
What you do
I wouldn't want to be like you
Posted by: JackStraw

Aye aye, robot
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 20, 2026 06:54 PM (Cqx++)

Wondered if anyone would get that reference. (Of course, being 29, I had to ask my grandfather.)

Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts at March 20, 2026 06:59 PM (AkKZw)

235 I blame the Large Hadron Collider's 10 September 2008 startup for crossing the AoSHQ's server timeline today.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 20, 2026 06:59 PM (wVcYX)

236 176 I don't care
What you do
I wouldn't want to be like you
Posted by: JackStraw at March 20, 2026 06:46 PM (viF8m)

Dusty Springfield....??

Posted by: Joemarine at March 20, 2026 06:59 PM (y171U)

237 Used one from Amazon with a warranty?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 20, 2026 06:59 PM (Puq9y)

238 I 've only seen one Norris film and it had Kareem Abdul Jabar in it
Posted by: It's me donna at March 20, 2026 06:53 PM (VE6XX)

Are you thinking of Enter the Dragon? Norris vs. Bruce Lee, with Kareem thrown in. Parodied in Kentucky Fried Movie.

Posted by: InZona at March 20, 2026 06:59 PM (XiTQh)

239 @235 the entire earth collapsed into a black hole, so these things can happen.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 20, 2026 07:00 PM (cWLG3)

240 A $200 laptop better come with a real spare and a jack.

Posted by: wth at March 20, 2026 07:00 PM (UjdFS)

241 Didn't the blog go down near Easter about 10yrs ago? I just figured Pixie was doing spring cleaning.
RIP Mr Norris

Posted by: Flanole at March 20, 2026 07:00 PM (ZnrCl)

242 Deeply affected by the blog outage here, but now that it's back I don't have much to say.

Posted by: It's A Terrible Thing To Lose Your Mind at March 20, 2026 07:00 PM (oftw2)

243
Whig, sorry to hear you've had a bad day.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at March 20, 2026 07:01 PM (n7rxJ)

244 The Covid-19 virus kept 6+ feet away from Chuck Norris.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 20, 2026 07:01 PM (wVcYX)

245 Kareem Abdul Jabar? Was Norris in Airplane?

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at March 20, 2026 07:01 PM (LxER7)

246 First time I remember noticing Chuck Norris was when I went to go see the Octagon at a drive in. I think I got pretty drunk there in the car, and a good time was had by all.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 20, 2026 07:01 PM (M1V8X)

247 The word this afternoon on downforeveryoneorjustme.com
was that ace.mu.nu was "down for everyone"
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 06:52 PM (P8t9A)

I discovered the same thing.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 20, 2026 07:02 PM (8zz6B)

248 >>Dusty Springfield....??

Alan Parsons

Posted by: JackStraw at March 20, 2026 07:02 PM (viF8m)

249 >>Hope you’re enjoying the fabulous weather in the valley.

It's crazy nice today...if a bit windy.

Posted by: garrett at March 20, 2026 07:02 PM (erF49)

250 Still haven't heard what he died from, sure seemed like someone who would lkve to 100

Posted by: Skip at March 20, 2026 07:02 PM (Ia/+0)

251 Chuck Norris kicked the secondary IP addresses in the nuts.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 20, 2026 07:02 PM (n5tGW)

252 I wonder how many people think he died years ago.

What Mel Brooks is still alive?

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 20, 2026 07:02 PM (ZVgZ4)

253 Tell me more about the Large Hardon Collider, please!

Posted by: Mayor Pete at March 20, 2026 07:02 PM (oftw2)

254 I saw Silent Rage via Rifftrax. The chick could not act to save her life, but dang! she was cute as hell.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at March 20, 2026 07:02 PM (0aYVJ)

255 I do wish they would name all Cesar Chavez stuff after Chuck Norris -- especially the elementary schools :/

But we'll never get leftists who run things to do it, they hate him and are glad he's dead.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 07:02 PM (PYyV9)

256
Hackman, Hogan, Duvall, and now, Norris. And, increasingly, we are being left with men without a spine.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 07:03 PM (P8t9A)

257 >>I saw Silent Rage via Rifftrax. The chick could not act to save her life, but dang! she was cute as hell.

I only have eyes for Creepy Girl.

Posted by: garrett at March 20, 2026 07:03 PM (erF49)

258 232 231 Time traveling Israelis killed him.
Watch my 7 part series where I explain it all.

Posted by: Candace at March 20, 2026 06:58 PM (cZDTf)

======

Why don't the Israelis kill all of their critics if they control so much?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 20, 2026 06:58 PM (gYVzu)

----

If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a Mossad agent hiding in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass.

Posted by: Marsellus Wallace the Israeli at March 20, 2026 07:03 PM (cWLG3)

259 Bruce Lee vs Kareem - Game of Death

Posted by: A dude in MI at March 20, 2026 07:05 PM (/6GbT)

260 I thought Lee died before he finished Game of Death?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 07:05 PM (PYyV9)

261 There's a relatively new Mel Brooks documentary on one of those streamy channels. It's good and very funny.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 20, 2026 07:06 PM (n5tGW)

262 For a while there, I thought that the blog had died in solidarity with Chuck Norris (RIP).

He always struck me as a decent man.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 20, 2026 07:06 PM (ESVrU)

263 ======

Why don't the Israelis kill all of their critics if they control so much?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer
---

First thought was if they make good on their promise many Israeli critics will be neutralized but upon reflection the world is so pacified it might work ... in the beginning.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 20, 2026 07:06 PM (Puq9y)

264 I had an aluminum Asus laptop that lasted a dozen years. That heat sink speck seems important.

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 20, 2026 07:06 PM (tW/dz)

265 We finally get the blog back and someone. Blows the margins.

Posted by: Max Power at March 20, 2026 07:07 PM (ekXpZ)

266 Death dropped his scythe and is running as fast as he can.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at March 20, 2026 07:07 PM (0U5gm)

267 The Babylon Bee had some funny articles on Chuck's passing.

R.I.P. DUDE.

I hope everyone had a good 'Entertain Yourselves Dammit Friday.'

Posted by: Stateless at March 20, 2026 07:07 PM (Sco7b)

268 Chuck 86’d. Sigh.

Posted by: epador at March 20, 2026 07:08 PM (pNp3t)

269 For the technically minded, the server lost all it's secondary IP addresses, both public and private, and it kind of needs those.

(Antibumped to not derail the Chuck Norris thread. RIP, Mr Norris.)

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 05:20 PM

So the disk was fine. I knew it!!

Posted by: ... at March 20, 2026 07:08 PM (vE0+H)

270 Hackman, Hogan, Duvall, and now, Norris. And, increasingly, we are being left with men without a spine.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 07:03 PM (P8t9A)

These men dying is just time. The lack of spine is a sign of the times.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 20, 2026 07:08 PM (ZVgZ4)

271
We finally get the blog back and someone. Blows the margins.
Posted by: Max Power

That tracks. Mayor Buttgiggity was here earlier.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 07:08 PM (P8t9A)

272 So speaking of crashes, my laptop crashed a couple weeks ago which is why I’m phoning in comments here. Going to Best Buy tomorrow to look at Chromebooks, since I only ever use the thing to get on the Webz.

Any recommendations? Cheap would be best.
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at March 20, 2026 06:48 PM (LxER7)

Where you at? I have an old IBM Thinkpad (made by Lenovo. apparently) with Linux Mint 18 on it (last 32-bit edition). It works; power supply is a home-made black box because the batteries were shot. You can browse the Web with it. Yours if you want it, but shipping cost may exceed its value.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 20, 2026 07:09 PM (8zz6B)

273 The lack of spine is a sign of the times.
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 20, 2026 07:08 PM (ZVgZ4)

Thank you Petula

Posted by: ... at March 20, 2026 07:10 PM (vE0+H)

274 259 Bruce Lee vs Kareem - Game of Death
Posted by: A dude in MI at March 20, 2026 07:05 PM (/6GbT)
--
Kareem was one of Bruce Lee's students.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 20, 2026 07:10 PM (cWLG3)

275 For a while there, I thought that the blog had died in solidarity with Chuck Norris (RIP).

He always struck me as a decent man.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 20, 2026 07:06 PM (ESVrU)

I've heard the same thing. Unlike Steven Seagal. Buddy of mine met him back when he was still married to Kelly LeBrock. Said he was an absolute prick. But Kelly was super sweet.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at March 20, 2026 07:11 PM (0aYVJ)

276 Those old Thinkpads were terrific little machines, I loved the peg mouse instead of the mouse pad I have to shut off every time.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 07:11 PM (PYyV9)

277 Kareem was one of Bruce Lee's students.

I think fighting Kareem would be absolutely terrifying he has the same reach you have as height.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 07:12 PM (PYyV9)

278 @269 I'm also glad the data center didn't catch on fire!

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 20, 2026 07:12 PM (cWLG3)

279 "I had an aluminum Asus laptop that lasted a dozen years. That heat sink speck seems important."

An aluminum Asus? Is it hard to clean?

Posted by: CTHillary, dead but dreaming at March 20, 2026 07:12 PM (Vpqw1)

280 My god! This place is an addiction. I've been experiencing postpartum depression for hours.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 20, 2026 07:13 PM (XeU6L)

281 Bob Dole got more impressive results when Bob Dole switched to Chuck Norris pills.

Posted by: Bob Dole at March 20, 2026 07:13 PM (wVcYX)

282 Still haven't heard what he died from, sure seemed like someone who would lkve to 100
Posted by: Skip

Heart failure is usually the problem...

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at March 20, 2026 07:14 PM (MZJrA)

283 I got so much work done today, next week will be a breeze.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at March 20, 2026 07:14 PM (0U5gm)

284 I was wondering if the blog got taken out by the great disturbance in the Force.
Norris leveling up had to be a lot for the universe to absorb.
RIP

Posted by: barbarausa at March 20, 2026 07:14 PM (enw9G)

285 279 "I had an aluminum Asus laptop that lasted a dozen years. That heat sink speck seems important."

An aluminum Asus? Is it hard to clean?
Posted by: CTHillary, dead but dreaming at March 20, 2026 07:12 PM (Vpqw1)
---
Try to stick to ethanol free fuel for your aluminum Asus.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 20, 2026 07:15 PM (cWLG3)

286 I can't be the only one to have found a website to verify the entire blog was down for everyone and I wasn't somehow banned....

Posted by: Stateless at March 20, 2026 07:16 PM (Sco7b)

287 My god! This place is an addiction. I've been experiencing postpartum depression for hours.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 20, 2026 07:13 PM (XeU6L)
---
Yep. You never know how much you miss your graybox friends until you can't talk to them anymore.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 20, 2026 07:16 PM (ESVrU)

288 I got a thinkpad for Christmas. The thing has a steel cage protecting the motherboard and commercial grade ports. I'm tired of crappy Dells, etc.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at March 20, 2026 07:16 PM (0U5gm)

289 Ok...ok...ok...
I'm hitting the tip jar.
Sheesh!

Posted by: Diogenes at March 20, 2026 07:17 PM (2WIwB)

290 @286 you're right. I also tried to access from a VPN to be sure. lol

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 20, 2026 07:17 PM (cWLG3)

291 Good evening, horde!

I was so busy at work today, I never had a chance to check in. Looks like I didn't miss anything except panic and withdrawal.

Godspeed, Mr. Norris. The afterlife doesn't know what's coming.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at March 20, 2026 07:18 PM (h7ZuX)

292 I was worried it was a takedown hit

Posted by: Skip at March 20, 2026 07:18 PM (Ia/+0)

293
I can't be the only one to have found a website to verify the entire blog was down for everyone and I wasn't somehow banned....
Posted by: Stateless

You weren't -- AOP and I got that info this afternoon.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 07:18 PM (P8t9A)

294 Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 20, 2026 07:19 PM (qwx/I)

295 286 I can't be the only one to have found a website to verify the entire blog was down for everyone and I wasn't somehow banned....
Posted by: Stateless at March 20, 2026 07:16 PM (Sco7b)
_______________________

I check two sources and they both insisted that there was no issue with connection, but might be a regional node. However, when I asked Grok to define the comments of some of the regulars, it stated that those individuals were unknown (which confirmed is wasn't a banning, and it was likely a server issue).

In that process I stumbled across some Breitbert idiot who claimed to have indentified who Ace is....and the summary provided was absolutely hilarious in its ineptitude and falseness. So, I enjoyed the hiatus.

Posted by: Orson at March 20, 2026 07:20 PM (dIske)

296 I'm tired of crappy Dells, etc.
Posted by: Thomas Paine
----

[gently strokes Toshiba Satellite]

S'ok baby, I'll take care of you.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 20, 2026 07:20 PM (XeU6L)

297
Yep. You never know how much you miss your graybox friends until you can't talk to them anymore.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

All y'all are just the best -- both informed and entertaining -- group that it has been my privilege to interact with.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 07:21 PM (P8t9A)

298 RIP Lone Wolf McQuade!!!

I liked Chuck! Seemed an alright dude.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at March 20, 2026 07:21 PM (DqJmd)

299 See someone asked President Trump about Chuck and he said nice words about him

Posted by: Skip at March 20, 2026 07:22 PM (Ia/+0)

300 (picture of Chuck Norris at the Pearly Gates)
"'Fear Not!' Says Chuck Norris To Calm Trembling Angels"
-- Babylon Bee headline

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 20, 2026 07:22 PM (cWLG3)

301 They were going to add Chuck Norris to Mount Rushmore but the granite couldn't handle Chuck's beard.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 20, 2026 07:23 PM (2WIwB)

302 " However, when I asked Grok to define the comments of some of the regulars, it stated that those individuals were unknown "

What witchcraft is this?

Posted by: eleven at March 20, 2026 07:23 PM (aTgV0)

303 Norris was one of those "Hollywood" types that was not a "Hollywood" type at heart.

Be like Chuck.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 20, 2026 07:23 PM (AkEZC)

304 Had received messages on both computer & cellphone that AoSHq site wasn't secure during the many attempt to connect, and reassurances it was neither computer or cellphone connection problems.

No idea what an unsecured site might mean but, then again, it took me hours to try to see if there were any twitter (X) posts giving info.

---
Re: Chuck Norris. May he RIP. 🙏 He seemed to be a decent person and he kept his own counsel.

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 20, 2026 07:24 PM (NFX2v)

305 I have only had Dells. Bought a MacBook and hated it and sent it back. Ended up buying a better IPad and use it for almost everything. I 've got about 10 months left to figure out how to replace my Windows 10 antique. I still use it when I need to print or play scrabble or download stuff.

Posted by: Sharon(willow's apprentice) at March 20, 2026 07:24 PM (t/2Uw)

306 Yep. You never know how much you miss your graybox friends until you can't talk to them anymore.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

All y'all are just the best -- both informed and entertaining -- group that it has been my privilege to interact with.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 07:21 PM (P8t9A)

This.
X1000

Posted by: Diogenes at March 20, 2026 07:24 PM (2WIwB)

307 Wonder if PlutoTV's Rifftrax channel will play Silent Rage soon? I should go look.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at March 20, 2026 07:25 PM (0aYVJ)

308 Interesting item for Gun Thread

https://tinyurl.com/3v4puuyk

Posted by: Don Black at March 20, 2026 07:25 PM (ZxPkt)

309 Unrelated but I saw a comment today to the effect that "guys who beat women never seem to lack women to beat" which seemed very sad, but very true to me.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 07:25 PM (PYyV9)

310 Chuck Norris didn't die, he just leveled up.

Posted by: Chicago Vota at March 20, 2026 07:25 PM (baPXJ)

311 Thanks, Pixy for reviving the site!!

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at March 20, 2026 07:26 PM (DqJmd)

312 So desperate today while the blog was down that I actually watched the entire four-part Oscar weiners series by Dave somebody.

Kept getting distracted by the picture over his right shoulder not being level and his tie being askew.

Posted by: mindful webworker says, who askew? at March 20, 2026 07:27 PM (jrd4M)

313 That 'Silent Rage' movie is also available with RiffTrax commentary.

Tonight, (or over the weekend) I will be watching 'Breaker Breaker' (RiffTrax version), where a truck-driving Chuck Norris karate kicks an entire town of thieving hillbillies.

And also reading some old Deadly Hands of Kung-Fu comics. In an ironic twist, the next issue to be read (I'm reading from an omnibus collection) has Chuck Norris on the cover. So I'm sure the comic/magazine will also include a few articles about Chuck's late-70s exploits.

Posted by: Castle Guy at March 20, 2026 07:27 PM (Lhaco)

314 Chuck Norris once got cancer. He did an hour in his TotalGym and he was cured.

Posted by: NR Pax at March 20, 2026 07:28 PM (7xrfc)

315 >In that process I stumbled across some Breitbert idiot who claimed to have indentified who Ace is...
----

he appeared on youtube once, long ago
the footage now lost to antiquity

Posted by: Don Black at March 20, 2026 07:29 PM (ZxPkt)

316 In that process I stumbled across some Breitbert idiot who claimed to have indentified who Ace is

Man, we all know who ACE is, he's the first Ewok that Princess Leia encounters.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 07:29 PM (PYyV9)

317 I have a couple of old laptops (HP and Dell) and they have Linux Mint now (ver 22.3-HP and 21.3-Dell). I want an Apple Macbook. Don't need one, just want it. Probably spend for the mid range model (Sky).

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at March 20, 2026 07:30 PM (DqJmd)

318 314 Chuck Norris once got cancer. He did an hour in his TotalGym and he was cured.
Posted by: NR Pax at March 20, 2026 07:28 PM (7xrfc)
---
An hour with Christie Brinkley could've worked too.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 20, 2026 07:30 PM (cWLG3)

319 Wicket.

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 20, 2026 07:30 PM (tW/dz)

320 he appeared on youtube once, long ago
the footage now lost to antiquity
Posted by: Don Black at March 20, 2026 07:29 PM (ZxPkt)

and in a galaxy far, far away.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 20, 2026 07:30 PM (wVcYX)

321 An aluminum Asus? Is it hard to clean?
Posted by: CTHillary, dead but dreaming at March 20, 2026 07:12 PM

Perhaps a bidet is in order.

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 20, 2026 07:30 PM (4NO2D)

322 @316 Wickett? Thanks for doxing him sheesh

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 20, 2026 07:31 PM (cWLG3)

323 >>> In that process I stumbled across some Breitbert idiot who claimed to have indentified who Ace is

Man, we all know who ACE is, he's the first Ewok that Princess Leia encounters.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 07:29 PM (PYyV9)

The Ghost of Endor

Posted by: banana Dream at March 20, 2026 07:31 PM (3uBP9)

324 I missed you people when you went away. Yeah.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at March 20, 2026 07:31 PM (w5FC4)

325 I am glad that Mr. Norris was a man of faith and I am glad to read about how his mother helped influence him in that :

https://tinyurl.com/2hhvz8cu

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 20, 2026 07:31 PM (rZCVI)

326 306 Yep. You never know how much you miss your graybox friends until you can't talk to them anymore.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

All y'all are just the best -- both informed and entertaining -- group that it has been my privilege to interact with.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 20, 2026 07:21 PM (P8t9A)

This.
X1000

Posted by: Diogenes at March 20, 2026 07:24 PM (2WIwB)

I don't even post that much, but I was truly missing the comments. Yall are the most literate bunch of morons I've ever known. Stay golden.

Posted by: moki at March 20, 2026 07:31 PM (wLjpr)

327 >In that process I stumbled across some Breitbert idiot who claimed to have indentified who Ace is...
----

he appeared on youtube once, long ago
the footage now lost to antiquity
Posted by: Don Black at March 20, 2026 07:29 PM (ZxPkt)

***

That wasn't an ewok. It was a long debunked video if Bigfoot.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 20, 2026 07:31 PM (2WIwB)

328 Nood cafe

Posted by: Bert G at March 20, 2026 07:32 PM (VARTN)

329 Kept getting distracted by the picture over his right shoulder not being level and his tie being askew.

It was a deliberate Hitchcockian psychological trick to keep you uncertain and anxious

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 07:32 PM (PYyV9)

330 What amused me about the Chuck Norris TV show, was that in spite of horrid beatings and blows, no one ever suffered so much as a bloody lip or broken nose.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 20, 2026 07:32 PM (XeU6L)

331 So we skip directly to the Cafe.

https://acecomments.mu.nu/?post=418979

Ace had it easy for the end-of-week.

Posted by: mindful webworker is awefull at March 20, 2026 07:32 PM (jrd4M)

332 @327 funny how those videos are always blurry.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 20, 2026 07:33 PM (cWLG3)

333 And thanks, Pixy, for explaining with humor what went on with the missing blog and how you fixed it

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 20, 2026 07:33 PM (rZCVI)

334 Nood

Posted by: Thanatopsis at March 20, 2026 07:33 PM (LdBR/)

335 Poaching:
...
Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana said it was under a shelter-in-place order March 9 after “a report of an unmanned aerial system operating over the installation.”
...
“Between March 9-15, 2026, BAFB Security Forces observed multiple waves of 12-15 drones operating over sensitive areas of the installation, including the flight line, with aircraft displaying non-commercial signal characteristics, long-range control links and resistance to jamming,” the document said.

“After reaching multiple points across the installation, the drones dispersed across sensitive locations on the base.”

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 20, 2026 07:33 PM (Puq9y)

336 317 I have a couple of old laptops (HP and Dell) and they have Linux Mint now (ver 22.3-HP and 21.3-Dell).
Posted by: Puddleglum

Mom's got an old Lenovo laptop that takes about an hour to boot up, and then won't do anything. Could I put Linux on it, and make it usable again. It's only about 8 years old. If it would work, I'll figure out how to do it.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at March 20, 2026 07:34 PM (h7ZuX)

337 NOOD - Another Ocho Cafe

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 20, 2026 07:36 PM (ZVgZ4)

338 Chuck Norris had to commit suicide because nothing else was able to take him out.

Posted by: ChrisW at March 20, 2026 07:41 PM (rLfcT)

339 I like what someone said about Chuck Norris: he was like Daniel Boone in that his legend far outstripped his actual achievements, and we all love him for it.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 20, 2026 06:24 PM (PYyV9)

And Norris laughed at the memes. He understood it was all in fun.

Posted by: GWB at March 20, 2026 07:42 PM (RxVz+)

340 > [...] I always wanted to see Good Guys Wear Black, just going off the
> title.

Available (for free) on Pluto:
https://tinyurl.com/3hzmssza

Posted by: 6eyes at March 20, 2026 07:49 PM (n/le7)

341 339 I like what someone said about Chuck Norris: he was like Daniel Boone in that his legend far outstripped his actual achievements, and we all love him for it.

That was the estimable @WriteGirlProblems.

https://x.com/WriteGrlProbs/status/2035089102308053305

Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at March 20, 2026 08:20 PM (/d4WW)

342 WGP's pinned tweet is:

I’ve said this before and I will say it again:
If eating meat *could* affect the environment to the degree that the earth would be in danger of burning up, I would use the flames as the planet dies a fiery death to sear a ribeye medium-rare in one last stubbornly rebellious meal.

Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at March 20, 2026 08:21 PM (/d4WW)

343 As a young fighter I was amazed watching tape of him fighting. He was blindingly fast. Faster than Bruce Lee.

Posted by: ccoffer at March 20, 2026 08:40 PM (6kFgu)

344 Willie Nelson and Keith Richards are now officially scared…

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at March 20, 2026 08:40 PM (DzC+b)

345 I miss the good old days of Chuck Norris jokes in WoW Barrens chat

Posted by: PA Dutchman at March 20, 2026 08:40 PM (HlGYI)

346 Frank Fleming,@IMAO_, Had the best Chuck Norris tale:
"Chuck Norris told a woman to calm down
and she did."

Posted by: Terry at March 20, 2026 09:56 PM (rr6EC)

347 By the way also saw on Twixxer that Japan's porn industry is in crisis. Apparently for every 17 "actresses" there is one male performer. I have no idea what the qualifications are other than low moral character, but probably "speaks Japanese" features n there somewhere.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor
------
You must be this "high" to ride this ride?

Posted by: buddhaha at March 21, 2026 12:19 AM (8snZr)

348 Those old Thinkpads were terrific little machines, I loved the peg mouse instead of the mouse pad I have to shut off every time.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor
------
The NSFW name for that little thing is "clitmouse".

Posted by: buddhaha at March 21, 2026 12:27 AM (8snZr)

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