Look At Me I'm ONT

Hello good folks! Welcome to Friday's ONT!

Fido Friday: Fooled ya!

pic.twitter.com/HDVNu1fCE5
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) March 13, 2026

Carrot

Sorry, Maverick

Grab a few beers

pic.twitter.com/bo0QdESzN3
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) March 13, 2026

I need a copy of this

Socialism

Whoopin' his ass

pic.twitter.com/tK5YsKDiOy
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) March 13, 2026

Anybody got to go?

The French are helping!

Ski-W-I

pic.twitter.com/zNqRnhshRt
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) March 13, 2026

Well, that's useless

I'm ashamed I laughed

The female mind can't comprehend this

pic.twitter.com/Wl0Gcodo8P
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) March 14, 2026

Cauliflower

Feel good story of the day

This gves me an idea...

pic.twitter.com/FzkJtokMgs
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) March 14, 2026

How to prune trees

Iran is kicking our ass

pic.twitter.com/4Jc3ICzah5
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) March 14, 2026

Prom season is coming

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by dinner:

Posted by: WeirdDave at 10:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 PERVY CARROT!!!

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at March 13, 2026 09:51 PM (tcsrY)

2 If only it were Friday so WeirdDave could entertain us with his witty meme selections!

Posted by: mindful webworker - well, then at March 13, 2026 09:52 PM (O84gh)

3
vmom,

You nailed first!

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 09:57 PM (3ek7K)

4 the ol' carrot and the stick routine

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 13, 2026 09:59 PM (BLc2P)

5 Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Vorhees needed to borrow the whetstone.

Posted by: tankdemon at March 13, 2026 10:00 PM (qhRTK)

6 Pizza Crunch-- you want to try it but you know you'll be sick

Posted by: Huck Follywood at March 13, 2026 10:00 PM (yeRBj)

7 Teacher has a hangover!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at March 13, 2026 10:02 PM (kpS4V)

8 the ass whoopin brought me to tears... of joy

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 13, 2026 10:02 PM (BLc2P)

9 The French need to send Macron's wife to Iran. She's hell on wheels.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 13, 2026 10:03 PM (JkO4W)

10 no

Posted by: TheCatAttackedMyFoot at March 13, 2026 10:03 PM (jrgJz)

11 wtf, does the pizza crunch come pre-eaten?

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 13, 2026 10:03 PM (BLc2P)

12 The Scots are absolute demons about deep-fried carny foods. Hell yeah I'd try that pizza.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at March 13, 2026 10:04 PM (kpS4V)

13 I read and viewed video. Where did I wind up?

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 13, 2026 10:04 PM (X5qGl)

14 Peanut butter crunch > pizza crunch < Ka-boom crunch < tech crunch

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:05 PM (2GVsD)

15
You wound up 13th on Friday the 13th.

Scary.

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 10:06 PM (3ek7K)

16 Prom season is coming

---------

That pic has something profound to say, but I have no idea what it is.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 13, 2026 10:06 PM (JkO4W)

17 I saw the cartoon with the pink haired girl in another forum I visit.

And it really is one of the core problems with leftism.

I remember during the Obamacare debate pointing out to leftists that if they thought healthcare was a right there was nothing stopping them from pooling their money with any group of people they wished and sharing costs equally.

And the answer was ALWAYS, but then YOU wouldn't have to pay for it

Posted by: 18-1 at March 13, 2026 10:07 PM (sKqQm)

18 The justly deserved beating: if this is real (big if), the two meting out justice would be put on trial and convicted. But you wish it weren’t so!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 13, 2026 10:07 PM (X5qGl)

19 There was an underground comic character named The Flaming Carrot.

No word if he ever met his fate getting shredded and sprinkled in some Chernobyl Chili.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:07 PM (2GVsD)

20 You wound up 13th on Friday the 13th.

Scary.
Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 10:06 PM (3ek7K)

The last normal day we had was Friday the 13th, March 2020.
The next Friday the 13th in March was today
Here is hoping things correct themselves.

Posted by: Kindltot at March 13, 2026 10:08 PM (rbvCR)

21 Chicken Fried Pizza

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 13, 2026 10:08 PM (/lPRQ)

22 Prom season: she’s flaunting it.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 13, 2026 10:08 PM (X5qGl)

23 Tonight's lesson: don't f*ck with bulls and don't f*ck with Sikhs.

Posted by: Oddbob at March 13, 2026 10:09 PM (Fs0KI)

24 Good evening Horde. Thanks WD!

Posted by: TRex - deep fried dino at March 13, 2026 10:09 PM (IQ6Gq)

25 Eris,

Teacher? The never filmed sequel named Alien Prom and that was a costume test shot.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:09 PM (2GVsD)

26 I started listening to the advice with "Have a bunch of beers" and haven't progressed much past that point.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at March 13, 2026 10:09 PM (CHHv1)

27 Wait, it's ONT already? What am still doing awake?

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at March 13, 2026 10:10 PM (h7ZuX)

28 I worked for a water hauling company for a few years. One of our drivers hit a bull that had gotten out onto the highway. The truck caught on fire and burned completely, but, luckily, he escaped. The bull ran away. The next day, the brand inspector went out and found the bull outside the pasture. He got out to take a look at the damage on the bull and his brand, but the bull came after him, knocked him down, rolled him up and started back for more. The guy pulled his sidearm and shot the bull several times before the bull ran away. The brand inspector had a broken arm. I'm not sure what happened to the bull.

Posted by: huerfano at March 13, 2026 10:10 PM (98kQX)

29 The justly deserved beating: if this is real (big if), the two meting out justice would be put on trial and convicted. But you wish it weren’t so!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit

Axe handle is better.

Even more better with double bit axe head still in it.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 13, 2026 10:10 PM (/lPRQ)

30 Feel good story:

It's allergy season, darnit! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Posted by: RandomDave at March 13, 2026 10:11 PM (aJQbY)

31 12 The Scots are absolute demons about deep-fried carny foods. Hell yeah I'd try that pizza.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at March 13, 2026 10:04 PM (kpS4V)

I would try that, too. Bet it pairs well with Chianti.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at March 13, 2026 10:11 PM (h7ZuX)

32 "Look at me I'm ONT
Bap bap ba ba bap, ba bap-pap-bap."

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at March 13, 2026 10:11 PM (CHHv1)

33 Good stuff. Some classics I haven't seen in years. Prom night. Whooping his ass. Useless tool. Good fight. Shows that the best memes never grow old, they just ripen with age. Feel good story felt good.

Tip o' the ol' mindful topper to the mighty WeirdDave.

https://bit.ly/mindful-avatar

Posted by: mindful webworker - or is that mindless? at March 13, 2026 10:12 PM (O84gh)

34 My 3rd cousin twice removed, from my mother's uncle's side of the family. It's a family trait.

tiny.cc/4ub0101

Posted by: Sock Monkey * considering the imponderables at March 13, 2026 10:12 PM (7Cdr7)

35 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at March 13, 2026 10:12 PM (Iz+f5)

36 Sorry, was watching Scarpetta and forgot to nood

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at March 13, 2026 10:12 PM (eZ5tL)

37 Red car, blue shirt: they settled it like men.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 13, 2026 10:12 PM (X5qGl)

38 USA 5
Canada 3
Top of the 7th

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 13, 2026 10:13 PM (A5RD0)

39 There was an underground comic character named The Flaming Carrot.

“There’s more hoods here than we thought.”

“Then shoot more bullets.”

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at March 13, 2026 10:14 PM (W/QOq)

40 I see Yang Poon made that phillips screw driver.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 13, 2026 10:14 PM (snZF9)

41 Tousi reporting the Ayatollahs are fleeing to... Canada!!
Posted by: Oldcat at March 13, 2026 07:47 PM (8avO+)

Evidence:
https://tinyurl.com/3bbn6bnf
Posted by: beckster

================

Jeez, they don't even bother changing out of those Halloween costumes.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia

====

At least the Arabs get normal once in the air.
/ so I hear.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 13, 2026 10:14 PM (/lPRQ)

42 Today's lesson: if you're going to play a Ms. Rachel video for your grandkid, use an incognito window or your Youtube feed will be filled with them.

Posted by: Oddbob at March 13, 2026 10:15 PM (Fs0KI)

43 the ass whoopin brought me to tears... of joy
Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at March 13, 2026 10:02 PM (BLc2P)

Brother got two Sikhs on his hide...

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 13, 2026 10:15 PM (8zz6B)

44 My lucky day. But, not everybody's.

https://bit.ly/pogo-fri-03-13

Posted by: mindful webworker - horra-blatz! at March 13, 2026 10:16 PM (O84gh)

45 28 I worked for a water hauling company for a few years. One of our drivers hit a bull that had gotten out onto the highway. The truck caught on fire and burned completely, but, luckily, he escaped. The bull ran away. The next day, the brand inspector went out and found the bull outside the pasture. He got out to take a look at the damage on the bull and his brand, but the bull came after him, knocked him down, rolled him up and started back for more. The guy pulled his sidearm and shot the bull several times before the bull ran away. The brand inspector had a broken arm. I'm not sure what happened to the bull.
Posted by: huerfano at March 13, 2026 10:10 PM (98kQX)

This sounds like the plot for a Cohen Brothers movie. Or Quentin Tarantino, I'm not sure which.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at March 13, 2026 10:16 PM (h7ZuX)

46 There was an underground comic character named The Flaming Carrot.

“There’s more hoods here than we thought.”

“Then shoot more bullets.”
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at March 13, 2026 10:14 PM (W/QOq)
----

I have many issues of Flaming Carrot. A favorite: "They Cloned Hitler's Feet".

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at March 13, 2026 10:17 PM (kpS4V)

47 Good evening morons und danke wd.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 13, 2026 10:18 PM (RIvkX)

48 Deep fried pizza?

Holy shit, I thought southerners were crazy.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 13, 2026 10:20 PM (6ydKt)

49 There was an underground comic character named The Flaming Carrot.…
Posted by: Anna Puma

That's what I thought seeing that pic. An original member of the Mystery Men, but he was just too weird to be in the movie.

Posted by: mindful webworker - Baby Bowler! at March 13, 2026 10:20 PM (O84gh)

50 the pantifa in texas were all found guilty.........now they get to exp the idea of prison

go find your own link

Posted by: TheCatAttackedMyFoot at March 13, 2026 10:22 PM (jrgJz)

51 Alt Pilgrim linked to an Equadorian gravity racing video in the prior thread, similar to what Weird Dave had linked in the body.
Except at least half the racers going down the Andes didn't bother wearing helmets.

Posted by: From about That Time at March 13, 2026 10:23 PM (sl73Y)

52 Apologies, didn't intend to take up tank's space but I was out with BF3 In The Viper Helicopter over at Kharg Island.

youtube.com/watch?v=ec9JWTJWGic

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 10:24 PM (BENy5)

53 Eris

How many issues of Concrete? Or Domino Chance, Roach Extraordinaire?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:24 PM (2GVsD)

54 Actually, Aces post, and comment 233 by AP for the link.

Posted by: From about That Time at March 13, 2026 10:26 PM (sl73Y)

55 I've seen that Whoopin' His Ass video a few hundred times, and I think it's just terrible! Dude used a freaking broomstick on that guy! Just sick. Am I to believe there were no baseball bats nearby?

Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts at March 13, 2026 10:26 PM (I9a5Z)

56 Evening all,

Launch in the morning, but the time keeps changing.

SpaceX - Falcon 9 - Starlink 10-48
SLC-40 - Cape Canaveral SFS - Space Affairs Live
Launch Date: March 14, 2026
Launch Time: 8:30 a.m. EDT (1230 UTC, 13:30 CET)

https://youtu.be/d_g_YYUhtLU

Posted by: Joyenz at March 13, 2026 10:26 PM (2F0/Y)

57 I'll just post this here and let people gape in shock.

https://youtu.be/B8TxDZooIRA

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:28 PM (2GVsD)

58 Does anyone really like their car insurance company and if so, which is it?

Also, anyone else too annoyed at Progressive's ads to ever sign up with them?

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at March 13, 2026 10:28 PM (znREB)

59 I just opened a jar of peanut butter for some crackers, which I haven't eaten in years, and there is so much sugar in it, it was like candy. WTF? I won't be buying that brand in the future.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 13, 2026 10:29 PM (M9gjJ)

60 Happy Friday Evening!

Posted by: Piper at March 13, 2026 10:29 PM (OoFl2)

61 > Tousi reporting the Ayatollahs are fleeing to... Canada!!
----------
If I were anyone of any significance in Canada, and this turns out to be true... I'd be really nervous about now.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 13, 2026 10:30 PM (jtM2q)

62 Rich Baris on the Youtube Algo again. Going hard. Comparing Israel to Nazi Germany.

I got nothin

Posted by: GigantorX at March 13, 2026 10:31 PM (x8k2o)

63 Are you sure that was an Ayatollah and not Justine Trudeau cosplaying?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:31 PM (2GVsD)

64 48 Deep fried pizza?

Holy shit, I thought southerners were crazy.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 13, 2026

Now you just wait a cotton pickin’ minute, there!

Posted by: Piper at March 13, 2026 10:31 PM (OoFl2)

65 Regarding pruning trees:

If it is a Bradford Pear, start at the bottom and just cut the f***er down at the stump.

The End

Posted by: Tonypete at March 13, 2026 10:31 PM (cYBz/)

66 Well, that's useless
It could still be used as a bottle opener, maybe.

Posted by: GWB at March 13, 2026 10:32 PM (RGxCT)

67 I LOVE the violence inherent in tonight's ONT!

Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts at March 13, 2026 10:32 PM (I9a5Z)

68 Whoot!

Got out a jam there in the bottom of the 7th.

USA!
USA!
USA!

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 13, 2026 10:33 PM (A5RD0)

69 Piper

Don't think anyone has yet to try BBQ crawfish.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:33 PM (2GVsD)

70 Prom season: The gold ring in her lower lip is the perfect accent.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 10:36 PM (BENy5)

71 And, yes, someone should report the mural artist and hire someone to paint pants on the perv carrot.

Posted by: GWB at March 13, 2026 10:36 PM (RGxCT)

72
69 Piper

Don't think anyone has yet to try BBQ crawfish.
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:33 PM (2GVsD)

J ate crawfish from the Pig tonight. I make him eat them outside. But I swear if I find any shell or leg remains by the pool…I will need a Louise to my Thelma.

Posted by: Piper at March 13, 2026 10:36 PM (OoFl2)

73 Regarding pruning trees:

If it is a Bradford Pear, start at the bottom and just cut the f***er down at the stump.

The End
Posted by: Tonypete at March 13, 2026 10:31 PM (cYBz/)
----
Yep.

I had one of those that fell in my driveway THREE times before I figured out the best way to deal with it...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 13, 2026 10:36 PM (ESVrU)

74 >>>Piper

Don't think anyone has yet to try BBQ crawfish.

Posted by: Anna Puma

>Air fry might be worth a try, but get a drip pan.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 13, 2026 10:37 PM (M9gjJ)

75 Big COCK on that carrot!

Posted by: GigantorX at March 13, 2026 10:37 PM (x8k2o)

76 Both Jules and I are of Scottish descent and appreciate our heritage.

However this pizza crunch shows their poor culinary skills. It may make haggis sound appealing.

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at March 13, 2026 10:37 PM (55Qr6)

77 I went with a girl in college and her roommate was a student from Glasgow. Couldn't understand a word she said.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 13, 2026 10:37 PM (RIvkX)

78 More Skybrows - "It's Gonna Be"

Lyrics were written 20 years ago by his mother as part one of a four-part psychedelic rock song saga.

https://youtu.be/m8dMy5_Lox4

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:38 PM (2GVsD)

79
18 The justly deserved beating: if this is real (big if), the two meting out justice would be put on trial and convicted. But you wish it weren’t so!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 13, 2026 10:07

------

I saw that video a couple of years ago, before the AI madness. It's real.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 13, 2026 10:38 PM (azNOR)

80 66 Well, that's useless
It could still be used as a bottle opener, maybe.
Posted by: GWB
---

You don't have to be an interpreter to know the instructions were written in Chinese, not Japanese.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 10:39 PM (BENy5)

81 I made a boiling water crust for a pot pie tonight, it was an experiment to see if it was as good as a rough pastry crust. It wasn't, at least the way I made it, but I think it can be better.
It is a lot easier, however.

Posted by: Kindltot at March 13, 2026 10:40 PM (rbvCR)

82 58 Does anyone really like their car insurance company and if so, which is it?

Also, anyone else too annoyed at Progressive's ads to ever sign up with them?

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at March 13, 2026 10:28 PM (znREB)

Yes and yes. We've been with Farmers for years and they're OK. My wife's six-month old car got totaled in a hail storm a few years ago, as in multiple broken windows and every body panel had multiple divots. Farmers was easy to deal with and treated us right. We have a local agent and he's been very helpful. I don't know how they are on price, years ago I shopped around and Farmers wasn't the cheapest, but were within $25 or so per year of the cheapest.

Progressive's ads blow goats, and the guy who runs the company is a big-time lib and donates tons of money to the Dims and liberal causes.

Posted by: a.moron at March 13, 2026 10:41 PM (X5Jzz)

83 The guy pulled his sidearm and shot the bull several times before the bull ran away. The brand inspector had a broken arm. I'm not sure what happened to the bull.
Posted by: huerfano
---

Rule #1 about bulls, don't mess with the bull.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 10:42 PM (BENy5)

84 Carrot artist knew what he was doing.

Posted by: gKWVE at March 13, 2026 10:42 PM (gKWVE)

85 Does anyone really like their car insurance company and if so, which is it?

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport

I've used Erie for both car and homeowners for 35 years or so. Excellent service and reasonably priced coverage. They haven't fought me on any of my claims.

Posted by: Tonypete at March 13, 2026 10:42 PM (cYBz/)

86 63 Are you sure that was an Ayatollah and not Justine Trudeau cosplaying?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:31 PM (2GVsD)

Brownface?

Posted by: a.moron at March 13, 2026 10:42 PM (X5Jzz)

87 I saw that video a couple of years ago, before the AI madness. It's real.

Could still be actors, acting, but it looks real.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 13, 2026 10:42 PM (X5qGl)

88 59 I just opened a jar of peanut butter for some crackers, which I haven't eaten in years, and there is so much sugar in it, it was like candy. WTF? I won't be buying that brand in the future.
Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 13, 2026 10:29 PM (M9gjJ)

Teddie peanut butter is very good. No sugar just nuts and oil. Gotta stir it though.

Posted by: Joemarine at March 13, 2026 10:44 PM (y171U)

89 The screwed up screwdriver: there’s kana and kanji in the parts list - looks Japanese.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 13, 2026 10:45 PM (X5qGl)

90 Tousi reporting the Ayatollahs are fleeing to... Canada!!
----------
If I were anyone of any significance in Canada, and this turns out to be true... I'd be really nervous about now.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 13, 2026 10:30 PM (jtM2q)

If so, Delta can just walk across the border and smoke them.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 13, 2026 10:45 PM (snZF9)

91 18 The justly deserved beating: if this is real (big if), the two meting out justice would be put on trial and convicted. But you wish it weren’t so!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at March 13, 2026 10:07

------

I saw that video a couple of years ago, before the AI madness. It's real.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug

I had a couple of Sikh brothers as clients. They owned two convenience stores. Very reserved respectful gentlemen. 357 under the register and a thin hardwood cane behind the counter at each store. Almost all of the employees were family. They had very little theft loss.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * considering the imponderables at March 13, 2026 10:46 PM (7Cdr7)

92 Tousi reporting the Ayatollahs are fleeing to... Canada!!
----------
If I were anyone of any significance in Canada, and this turns out to be true... I'd be really nervous about now.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 13, 2026 10:30 PM (jtM2q)

If so, Delta can just walk across the border and smoke them.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 13, 2026 10:45 PM (snZF9)
----
How soon can we expect Mamdani to offer them sanctuary in NYC?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 13, 2026 10:46 PM (ESVrU)

93 Well, that's useless
It could still be used as a bottle opener, maybe.
Posted by: GWB
---

You don't have to be an interpreter to know the instructions were written in Chinese, not Japanese.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 10:39 PM (BENy5)

YANG POON!

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 13, 2026 10:47 PM (snZF9)

94 Oh noes, Piper no fan of mudbugs.

But just think on it. How desperate do you have to be, or starving I should say, to think one could make a whole meal from those critters.

Talk about desperation.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:47 PM (2GVsD)

95 You don't have to be an interpreter to know the instructions were written in Chinese, not Japanese.

Posted by: Braenyard
--------

Seeing a lot of katakana there...

Posted by: JQ at March 13, 2026 10:48 PM (rdVOm)

96 The unfortunate restroom graphic made me laugh

Posted by: Don Black at March 13, 2026 10:48 PM (ZxPkt)

97 Teddie peanut butter is very good. No sugar just nuts and oil. Gotta stir it though.

Ditto with Trader Joe’s peanut butter.

Also, if you have a blender or a food grinder (such as an attachment to a stand mixer), you can make peanut butter easily enough with roasted peanuts and a little peanut oil. Then you can control everything that goes into it.

Including garlic.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at March 13, 2026 10:48 PM (W/QOq)

98

People like what they like.

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 10:48 PM (3ek7K)

99 Allison Guerriero@AllisonGuerrier . 33s
Replying to @mirandadevine

@RogerJStoneJr just wrote a very interesting article about Kharg Island on March 5! He was right. I had a feeling that Kharg Island would be demolished by the end of this week too
---

Muzzies have their memorial dates.
We do too. hahahahaha

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 10:48 PM (BENy5)

100 What is worse than Yang Poon?

Temu Yang Poon.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:48 PM (2GVsD)

101 I just looked at it again
still laughing

Posted by: Don Black at March 13, 2026 10:48 PM (ZxPkt)

102 How soon can we expect Mamdani to offer them sanctuary in NYC?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 13, 2026 10:46 PM (ESVrU)

That would be sweet. Delta can just drive to NYC, whack the targets, and maybe do some uh..fortunate collateral damage.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 13, 2026 10:49 PM (snZF9)

103 I went with a girl in college and her roommate was a student from Glasgow. Couldn't understand a word she said.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

"Are ye comin' hame wi' me for a pump thenight?"

or

"Fancy a ride home, big man?"

is pretty much the same in any language at closing time.

Posted by: Tonypete at March 13, 2026 10:49 PM (cYBz/)

104 I will need a Louise to my Thelma.
Posted by: Piper

*raises hand*

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 13, 2026 10:49 PM (A5RD0)

105 My dog hated magic tricks.
He'd just walk away.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 13, 2026 10:49 PM (2WIwB)

106 I went with a girl in college and her roommate was a student from Glasgow. Couldn't understand a word she said.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 13, 2026 10:37

Yep, they say we have strong regional accents. Jules understood the Scots, her Grandma emigrated from there.

Try to understand a strong Yorkshire accent. It's a different, older version of English.

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at March 13, 2026 10:50 PM (55Qr6)

107 Seeing a lot of katakana there...
Posted by: JQ
---

Show off.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 10:51 PM (BENy5)

108
104 I will need a Louise to my Thelma.
Posted by: Piper

*raises hand*
Posted

Posted by: nurse ratched

It is so good to have friends you can count on in this world!

Posted by: Piper at March 13, 2026 10:52 PM (OoFl2)

109 Show off.
Posted by: Braenyard
---------

LOL. Didn't say I could *read* it! Just recognize some characters.

Posted by: JQ at March 13, 2026 10:53 PM (rdVOm)

110 104 I will need a Louise to my Thelma.
Posted by: Piper

*raises hand*
Posted by: nurse ratched at March 13, 2026 10:49

I'll do the video!!

Posted by: Diogenes at March 13, 2026 10:53 PM (2WIwB)

111 Brother carrot is striding proud!

Posted by: Tybo the Carrot Man, Lost in Space at March 13, 2026 10:53 PM (wVcYX)

112 58 Does anyone really like their car insurance company and if so, which is it?

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport

I have Farmers. My boys went to parochial school
And high school with my agent. I have made one claim when I got hit by a person exiting a parking lot and my son had a claim when his car was stolen and totaled. Both times everyrhing went perfectly.

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 13, 2026 10:54 PM (A5RD0)

113 With my agent’s sons. Lord.

Watching baseball.

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 13, 2026 10:54 PM (A5RD0)

114 106 I went with a girl in college and her roommate was a student from Glasgow. Couldn't understand a word she said.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 13, 2026 10:37

Yep, they say we have strong regional accents. Jules understood the Scots, her Grandma emigrated from there.

Try to understand a strong Yorkshire accent. It's a different, older version of English.
Posted by: Farmer

Newcastle accents. Even the English need a translator for them.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at March 13, 2026 10:55 PM (Iz+f5)

115 Japan - how to sell a non-stick pan.

https://youtu.be/snUy2tpAAsU

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:57 PM (2GVsD)

116 Fried Pizza? I dunno…. Pizza is already among Nature’s Most Perfect Foods. Done right anyway.

Are they taking already shitty pizza and then deep frying? Most likely. I like thinking outside the box, though. Maybe it’s good.

I like making breakfast burritos, or basically wrapping scrambled eggs and cheddar, sausage etc in a soft tortilla. Char ‘em good on the stove burner and stuff ‘em full. One thing I’ve been meaning to try is smother them in sausage gravy. Not as tasty as scratch biscuits but should be good.

Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 10:57 PM (Ms2yN)

117 How many issues of Concrete? Or Domino Chance, Roach Extraordinaire?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:24 PM (2GVsD)
----
I think one Concrete, plus some in Dark Horse Presents. Not really my jam.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at March 13, 2026 10:58 PM (kpS4V)

118 Progressive's ads blow goats, and the guy who runs the company is a big-time lib and donates tons of money to the Dims and liberal causes.
Posted by: a.moron

Add to that they're very woke and blatantly anti-white. They recently won a discrimination lawsuit because the court ruled the plaintiff didn’t have standing.

tiny.cc/yub0101

Posted by: Sock Monkey * considering the imponderables at March 13, 2026 10:59 PM (7Cdr7)

119 Dark Horse Presents?

Some Sin City and Aliens vs Predator huh?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:59 PM (2GVsD)

120 Yup, Anna. Now I want to dig that stuff up. I have boxes of it on the basement.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at March 13, 2026 11:01 PM (kpS4V)

121 Well I was going to bed, but Saijo just found a ball somewhere. I have no idea where it came from.

Posted by: Piper at March 13, 2026 11:01 PM (Wmg4n)

122 Newcastle accents. Even the English need a translator for them.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at March 13, 2026 10:55 PM (Iz+f5)

Man, you're not kidding.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 13, 2026 11:02 PM (snZF9)

123 I wanna try Pizza Crunch.

Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 13, 2026 11:03 PM (bss/y)

124 The Boring Company@boringcompany . 3h
Prufrock-3 launching off The Monster!

The Monster tilts down, allowing the boring machine to mine directly into the parking lot ground without any pit/shaft/excavation
---

That's a long way from Reed Roller Bit.

https://tinyurl.com/mp87z3m9

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 11:03 PM (BENy5)

125 Progressive's ads blow goats, and the guy who runs the company is a big-time lib and donates tons of money to the Dims and liberal causes.
Posted by: a.moron

Add to that they're very woke and blatantly anti-white. They recently won a discrimination lawsuit because the court ruled the plaintiff didn’t have standing.

tiny.cc/yub0101
Posted by: Sock Monkey * considering the imponderables
====

There is a reason why they are named Progressive.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 13, 2026 11:04 PM (/lPRQ)

126 If we don't hear from Eris in a couple hours, call 911 as a comic avalanche has buried her.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 11:05 PM (2GVsD)

127 USA! USA!! USA!!!

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 13, 2026 11:06 PM (A5RD0)

128 USA beat Canada. Again.

Hey Canada, go blow a goat.

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 13, 2026 11:07 PM (A5RD0)

129 I have Allstate insurance. They have a bundle plan where my house and car are covered at a discount. They are a reputable company. They never bother me about anything. If I have a question they will promptly answer it for me. So I have let them insure my stuff for years with no problems.

Posted by: Case at March 13, 2026 11:08 PM (pvf3X)

130 just opened a jar of peanut butter for some crackers, which I haven't eaten in years, and there is so much sugar in it, it was like candy. WTF?
——-

They thinned it out too, which was the last straw for me. I discovered that hydrogenated oils - soybean, canola etc,- leave me feeling vaguely sick or nauseous too. Tears up my gut too. Took me a long time to figure that out.. My stomach and guts aren’t 29 any more.

Kroger natural peanut butter is pretty tasty. Peanuts and salt, that’s it. I pour off the peanut oil on the natural stuff.

Otherwise it runs about the consistency of pancake batter, which is also bullshit. Peanut butter in a sandwich needs to be about 3/8ths to 1/2” thick, and needs to stay put, not drip all over everything. Shit sure gets complicated these days with corporations run by nicklefvckers.

Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 11:09 PM (Ms2yN)

131 Don't think anyone has yet to try BBQ crawfish.
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:33 PM (2GVsD)

BBQ them just like you BBQ shrimp, which has absolutely nothing to do with BBQ

Posted by: javems at March 13, 2026 11:09 PM (qA4VG)

132 Prom time.

Or quinceanera.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at March 13, 2026 11:09 PM (4/BuS)

133 You can go to the Houston Rodeo going on right now and get deep fried anything.

Weirdest is deep fried Coca Cola.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 13, 2026 11:09 PM (oob1u)

134
How would you deep fry Coke?

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 11:11 PM (3ek7K)

135 134
How would you deep fry Coke?

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 11:11 PM (3ek7K)

*Richard Pryor has entered the chat*

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at March 13, 2026 11:12 PM (xcxpd)

136 I have Allstate insurance. They have a bundle plan where my house and car are covered at a discount. They are a reputable company. They never bother me about anything. If I have a question they will promptly answer it for me. So I have let them insure my stuff for years with no problems.
Posted by: Case

We've been with Allstate for 25+ years. No complaints.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * considering the imponderables at March 13, 2026 11:12 PM (7Cdr7)

137 Fast becoming one of my favorite follows on X

https://tinyurl.com/39t4pf49

she cooks

Posted by: Don Black at March 13, 2026 11:13 PM (ZxPkt)

138 119 Dark Horse Presents?

Some Sin City and Aliens vs Predator huh?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 10:59 PM (2GVsD)

The best Dark Horse is best comics.

The worst Dark Horse is utter trash. Still...better than Marvel and Dc....

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at March 13, 2026 11:14 PM (xcxpd)

139 Newcastle accents. Even the English need a translator for them.
Posted by: Puddleglum at work at March 13, 2026 10:55 PM (Iz+f5)

Man, you're not kidding.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 13, 2026 11:02

OK, I cheated and looked it up. Both Yorkie an Newcastle are part of the Northumbrian accent group.

I swear everyone else has an accent but us in the Midwest. Isn't the general language in the MSM Midwestern, everyone understands it?

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at March 13, 2026 11:15 PM (55Qr6)

140 How soon can we expect Mamdani to offer them sanctuary in NYC?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 13, 2026 10:46 PM (ESVrU)

That would be sweet. Delta can just drive to NYC, whack the targets, and maybe do some uh..fortunate collateral damage.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 13, 2026 10:49 PM (snZF9)

There's always the final scene from the movie "Failsafe"....

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 13, 2026 11:15 PM (S/Y4j)

141 108
104 I will need a Louise to my Thelma.
Posted by: Piper

*raises hand*
Posted

Posted by: nurse ratched

It is so good to have friends you can count on in this world!
Posted by: Piper at March 13, 2026 10:52 PM (OoFl2)

She packs heat

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at March 13, 2026 11:15 PM (xcxpd)

142 134
How would you deep fry Coke?

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 11:11 PM (3ek7K)

Super heat Stevie Nicks's ass.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at March 13, 2026 11:16 PM (4/BuS)

143 I swear everyone else has an accent but us in the Midwest. Isn't the general language in the MSM Midwestern, everyone understands it?
Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at March 13, 2026 11:15 PM (55Qr6)

There is a difference between everyone understanding and having no accent.

Posted by: Kindltot at March 13, 2026 11:17 PM (rbvCR)

144 Kroger natural peanut butter is pretty tasty. Peanuts and salt, that’s it. I pour off the peanut oil on the natural stuff.
---

HORRORS!
No, chuck up a beater in your drill and mix the oil back into the butter.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 11:17 PM (BENy5)

145
Lol bear

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 11:18 PM (3ek7K)

146 There is a difference between everyone understanding and having no accent.
Posted by: Kindltot
--

There is a definite benefit to being understood.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 11:18 PM (BENy5)

147 How would you deep fry Coke?

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 11:11 PM (3ek7K)

It's just mixed with the batter and I think eggs mixed in also.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 13, 2026 11:19 PM (oob1u)

148 134 How would you deep fry Coke?
Posted by: fourseasons
*Richard Pryor has entered the chat*
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo

Some days, you deep fry the coke... some days it deep fries you

Posted by: gKWVE at March 13, 2026 11:22 PM (gKWVE)

149
So a fritter with coke as the liquid.

It's probably good.

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 11:23 PM (3ek7K)

150 I have Allstate insurance. They have a bundle plan where my house and car are covered at a discount. They are a reputable company. They never bother me about anything. If I have a question they will promptly answer it for me. So I have let them insure my stuff for years with no problems.

They're refusing to pay for clear hail damage to my roof.

Posted by: Weirddave at March 13, 2026 11:23 PM (df/te)

151 I'm convinced that Musk's motivations all came from the movie Total Recall.

Brain implants
Robo Taxis
Rocket ships to Mars
Boring machines
AI
3 titted women

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 13, 2026 11:25 PM (oob1u)

152 149
So a fritter with coke as the liquid.

It's probably good.

Posted by: fourseasons
---

Watch out for the first bite splash.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 11:25 PM (BENy5)

153 They're refusing to pay for clear hail damage to my roof.
Posted by: Weirddave at March 13, 2026 11:23 PM (df/te)

How old is your roof?

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 13, 2026 11:25 PM (oob1u)

154 Three additional B-52H “Stratofortress” Long-Range Strategic Bombers with the U.S. Air Force’s 5th Bomb Wing, based out of Minot Air Force Base, North Dakota, landed early Friday at RAF Fairford in Gloucestershire, England, joining 12 B-1B Lancers and 3 other B-52H Stratofortresses that have been forward deployed to the United Kingdom

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 11:26 PM (BENy5)

155 I have never understood the three tit thing.

Why mess up the symmetry? It is not more of a good thing, it is frankenstein.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 13, 2026 11:26 PM (bss/y)

156 No, chuck up a beater in your drill and mix the oil back into the butter
——

Can’t. It turns into something like pancake batter, which is, as mentioned, bullshit.

Peanut Butter should not be a pourable. Sandwiches drip all over, and make a mess. Trust Me. There’s plenty of oil remaining, it turns out just right. I use the peanut oil to fry spuds or whatever, pop corn,

Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 11:26 PM (Ms2yN)

157 If you have WINCO stores, back in bulk foods there are machines with honey roasted peanuts, regular peanuts, or almonds that grind them into cups that hold about a pound. You can make your own peanut butter...

Posted by: ChrisP at March 13, 2026 11:27 PM (2/K/k)

158 @sentdefender
1h
Massive explosions being reported across Baghdad, amid ongoing strikes against Iranian-backed paramilitary forces by the U.S. Air Force.
---

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 11:29 PM (BENy5)

159 I bet Coca-Cola syrup could be deep fried. That might be interesting, for pure areterio-sclerotic delight.

Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 11:29 PM (Ms2yN)

160 I swear everyone else has an accent but us in the Midwest. Isn't the general language in the MSM Midwestern, everyone understands it?
Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at March 13, 2026 11:15 PM (55Qr6)

There is a difference between everyone understanding and having no accent.
Posted by: Kindltot at March 13, 2026 11:17

OK, I'm slow tonight (well maybe slower than usual) but I finally get it. I did get the idea that there is a strong Midwestern twang, maybe harsh, when I was learning Spanish on Mexican visits.

But I think a case could be made that Midwestern is the standard accepted media spoken accent.

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at March 13, 2026 11:30 PM (55Qr6)

161 Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 11:29 PM (BENy5)

Good. IED bastards.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 13, 2026 11:30 PM (oob1u)

162 159 I bet Coca-Cola syrup could be deep fried. That might be interesting, for pure areterio-sclerotic delight.
Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 11:29 PM (Ms2yN)

The syrup on ice cream.

I remember back in the day, working at mcdonalds, putting the syrup for the chocolate shakes on ice cream. It was delicious.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 13, 2026 11:31 PM (bss/y)

163 I bet Coca-Cola syrup could be deep fried. That might be interesting, for pure areterio-sclerotic delight.
Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 11:29 PM (Ms2yN)

They pour some Coke syrup on top of the fried concoction.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 13, 2026 11:31 PM (oob1u)

164 no no no
you stir the oil back into the peanut butter

then you keep it in the fridge, so it's not all soupy

Posted by: Don Black at March 13, 2026 11:32 PM (ZxPkt)

165 there are machines with honey roasted peanuts, regular peanuts, or almonds …. You can make your own peanut butter...
——

That’s what makes me dislike Big Food. They extract the peanut oil, and then substitute soybean oil, and lace it with corn syrup. It takes special effort to fuck up peanut butter, but they persevere.

Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 11:33 PM (Ms2yN)

166 When I moved to NYC from Louisiana, I had to repeat myself quite often .

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 13, 2026 11:34 PM (oob1u)

167 164 no no no
you stir the oil back into the peanut butter

then you keep it in the fridge, so it's not all soupy
Posted by: Don Black at March 13, 2026 11:32 PM (ZxPkt)

I'm sorry man, I agree, stirring the oil back in makes it too soupy.

Without, it's about the right consistency.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 13, 2026 11:34 PM (bss/y)

168 Peanut oil is far more valuable for sale than soybean oil.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 13, 2026 11:35 PM (bss/y)

169 Just watched Melania.

Excellent!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at March 13, 2026 11:35 PM (2WIwB)

170 Midwestern used to be "newscaster" standard, but I think that has changed since I was a kid.

Posted by: Kindltot at March 13, 2026 11:36 PM (rbvCR)

171 then you keep it in the fridge, so it's not all soupy
——

I don’t want to keep it in the fridge. That’s bullshit.

Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 11:36 PM (Ms2yN)

172
California doesn't have an accent.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 13, 2026 11:40 PM (azNOR)

173 It's a prom gown wedding gown.

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 13, 2026 11:43 PM (NFX2v)

174 172
California doesn't have an accent.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 13, 2026 11:40 PM (azNOR)

Oh my god, really?

Posted by: Valley Girl at March 13, 2026 11:44 PM (bss/y)

175 I am now in the restaurant/food service business again.

For anybody who ever thought I was Smart

You are proven RONG

Posted by: Miklos knows a good bankruptcy lawyer at March 13, 2026 11:44 PM (Al4HM)

176 Valley Girl with a Spanish accent si?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 11:44 PM (2GVsD)

177 Midwestern used to be "newscaster" standard, but I think that has changed since I was a kid.
———

Orien Samuelson’s deep baritone, cranking out the Farm Market report at 5 AM. “March corn futures down two and an eighth in heavy trading”.

Radio announcers used to have good voices, I mean, it comes with the territory, they were selected for a pleasing well modulated tone. Now testosterone itself is practically banned, it sounds like 90 percent of them are chicks who huff helium before going on.

Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 11:46 PM (Ms2yN)

178 Just watched Melania.

Excellent!!!
Posted by: Diogenes

So

Those X-ray glasses work

Posted by: Miklos also bought Sea Monkeys...was dissapoint at March 13, 2026 11:47 PM (Al4HM)

179 Just posted new Tensor stuff, time to head to bed.

Jya ne minna.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 13, 2026 11:47 PM (2GVsD)

180
Miklos,

I hope fried catfish is on the menu.

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 11:47 PM (3ek7K)

181 Miklos,

I hope fried catfish is on the menu.

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 11:47 PM (3ek7K)

If he opened it San Angeles, it might be fried rat or rat burger.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at March 13, 2026 11:50 PM (S/Y4j)

182 Those X-ray glasses work
——-

The Submarine is kinda lame though! The “itching powder” worked real good, it was some kind of fiberglass,

Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 11:51 PM (Ms2yN)

183
We moved to Wyoming from South Carolina, grandchildren.

Lordy do we miss catfish.

Posted by: fourseasons at March 13, 2026 11:52 PM (3ek7K)

184 You are proven RONG
Posted by: Miklos knows a good bankruptcy lawyer at March 13, 2026 11:44

Good clue Miklos, so you are now a part-owner of a Chinese restaurant? Let us know where it is, we would be glad to patronize and support it.

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at March 13, 2026 11:52 PM (55Qr6)

185 I bet Coca-Cola syrup could be deep fried. That might be interesting, for pure areterio-sclerotic delight.
Posted by: Common Tater

Considering that Emory University was largely funded by the Chandler (Coca-Cola) fambly, they should fund this research. Bigly

Posted by: Miklos is a Royal Cola man at March 13, 2026 11:53 PM (Al4HM)

186
That’s what makes me dislike Big Food. They extract the peanut oil, and then substitute soybean oil, and lace it with corn syrup. It takes special effort to fuck up peanut butter, but they persevere.
Posted by: Common Tater
-----

The crap peanut butter requires no refrigeration. There are three jars of that in the pantry with companion jelly. For the burning time. Otherwise it's Smuckers or something similar.
Ingredients: peanuts, salt.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 13, 2026 11:54 PM (BENy5)

187 Good clue Miklos, so you are now a part-owner of a Chinese restaurant? Let us know where it is, we would be glad to patronize and support it.
Posted by: Farmer

It is just reconciliation of all the local businesses that Covid mental illness killed.

The goal is to get back to the Before Times.

Posted by: Regretfully Entrepreneurial Miklos at March 13, 2026 11:56 PM (Al4HM)

188 I have Allstate insurance. They have a bundle plan where my house and car are covered at a discount. They are a reputable company. They never bother me about anything. If I have a question they will promptly answer it for me. So I have let them insure my stuff for years with no problems.

They're refusing to pay for clear hail damage to my roof.
Posted by: Weirddave
===

Coworker just got Allstate. Said roof coverage for excessive weather related wear is an additional cost rider.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 13, 2026 11:57 PM (/lPRQ)

189 Over at Insty:

DEMOCRATS AS THEY ARE: Breaking: Jasmine Crockett Security Officer Shot, Killed by SWAT Team. “A man who was shot and killed by police in Dallas was part of Texas Democratic Rep. Jasmine Crockett’s security detail, multiple sources reported on Friday. According to CBS News, the individual in question was ‘known publicly as Mike King,’ although he’d been using various aliases to gain employment.”

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 13, 2026 11:59 PM (bss/y)

190 I bet Coca-Cola syrup could be deep fried. That might be interesting, for pure areterio-sclerotic delight.
Posted by: Common Tater

Use as jelly filling for a Bismark.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at March 14, 2026 12:00 AM (/lPRQ)

191 Team USA beat Canada again. This time in baseball (The World Baseball Classic). It's not nearly on the scale of the Olympic hockey wins, but still...one more thing to poke them with.

Posted by: Midnight Rambler at March 14, 2026 12:00 AM (xverI)

192
182
The Submarine is kinda lame though! The “itching powder” worked real good, it was some kind of fiberglass,
Posted by: Common Tater at March 13, 2026 11:51 PM

-----

If I recall correctly, the itching powder was also marketed as skin cancer powder and emphysema powder. "Disfigure your friends! What a laff riot!" and there was this drawing of hunched over saps with people pointing snd laghing. "Johnson's a cripple! Wow!"

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 14, 2026 12:03 AM (azNOR)

193 The best guy who had people lined up for catfish, fried flounder, shrimp, oysters...great place, great food

Went to jail for cheating on state taxes.

When he gets out, he will run the kitchen and staff, and do what they call "ghost Kitchen" for the City People downtown. Just remote food prep, nothing special.

As long as he is on Probation, I only have to pay him minimum wage, and get a Tax Deduction for that.

Posted by: Regretfully CPA Entrepreneurial Miklos at March 14, 2026 12:05 AM (Al4HM)

194
Dang, they missed Crock of Shit!!

Posted by: fourseasons at March 14, 2026 12:05 AM (3ek7K)

195 I have Jersey Manufacturer for car insurance. We got it because of Mrs B's job. The requirement used to be you had to work for a manufacturer in jersey, but not sure if thats the case these days. By myself I would probably qualify for yang poon. We have had it for years. They have been very good. I have one of their subsidiaries for the classic car insurance and its cheap as shit. The car is insured for 40K, and it only costs a few hundred a year.

Progressive? Oh hell no. Yeah, the commercials are annoying and the owner is a leftist dick head.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 14, 2026 12:06 AM (snZF9)

196 ‘known publicly as Mike King,’ although he’d been using various aliases to gain employment.”

Posted by: Aetius451AD

*tries to yawn*

*nope*

Posted by: Unsurprised Miklos at March 14, 2026 12:07 AM (Al4HM)

197
So sad.

Posted by: fourseasons at March 14, 2026 12:08 AM (3ek7K)

198 DEMOCRATS AS THEY ARE: Breaking: Jasmine Crockett Security Officer Shot, Killed by SWAT Team. “A man who was shot and killed by police in Dallas was part of Texas Democratic Rep. Jasmine Crockett’s security detail, multiple sources reported on Friday. According to CBS News, the individual in question was ‘known publicly as Mike King,’ although he’d been using various aliases to gain employment.”

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 13, 2026 11:59 PM (bss/y)

Let me put on my surprised face.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 14, 2026 12:09 AM (snZF9)

199 They're refusing to pay for clear hail damage to my roof.
Posted by: Weirddave

Allstate is the insurance the other driver has who bumped my rear end at a 2 way stop inside a parking lot; they won't cover it because they say, physics be damned, it was my fault. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at March 14, 2026 12:09 AM (DoBxX)

200
196 ‘known publicly as Mike King,’ although he’d been using various aliases to gain employment.”

Posted by: Aetius451AD

*tries to yawn*

*nope*
Posted by: Unsurprised Miklos at March 14, 2026 12:07 AM

------

The press should ask Jasmine Crockett to comment on this gross injustice, including follow-up questions like "How big was his dick? Was he any good?"

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 14, 2026 12:12 AM (azNOR)

201 If I'm picking Mike and a generic 1 syllable last name, I'm going Mike Hunt.

Posted by: Ted Torgerson at March 14, 2026 12:12 AM (R86kT)

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