First World Problems...

How did I get the couch down into the basement in the first place? Because bringing it back up was an exercise in spatial recognition and geometry, and I did not do well.

Smacking the switch plate with the edge of the couch hard enough to crack some plaster was not the original plan. Is there some cosmic plan for this sort of stuff, that only the hard edge hits fragile things and the 90% of the couch that is soft and padded just goes its merry way?

I'll probably go to Home Depot, buy a Sawzall, and cut the entire door frame out of the stairwell. That way I won't be constrained by anything in the future.

Or just burn the whole damned thing down to the foundation!

Posted by: CBD at 02:00 PM

Comments

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1 Wtf

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2025 01:59 PM (Ia/+0)

2 Ouches

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at December 21, 2025 02:00 PM (HTa/G)

3 A little spackle and laint it will be good as new

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2025 02:01 PM (Ia/+0)

4
Nothing worse than moving furniture with weak men.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:02 PM (4ZzTK)

5 "CBD Smash!"

I am sure there is a Marvel movie somewhere in your future.

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at December 21, 2025 02:02 PM (HlyYF)

6 Is there some cosmic plan for this sort of stuff, that only the hard edge hits fragile things...
=============
Yup. Same reason the bread always falls butter side down.

Posted by: Cheerful Reprobate at December 21, 2025 02:02 PM (0yLoC)

7 Or just burn the whole damned thing down to the foundation!

I dunno, those insurance investigators are pretty shrewd.

Posted by: Paco at December 21, 2025 02:03 PM (2L+MU)

8 That'll buff right out.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 21, 2025 02:04 PM (XeU6L)

9 Yes. It is a cosmic law of the universe for everyone with a basement. If you have a fridge, a sofa, a gun safe - - hell, anything larger than a breadbox you will bang up the walls and staircase bringing it back up.

Posted by: James at December 21, 2025 02:05 PM (ArpJo)

10
God Bless Texas!

"Houston Officer Shoots Suspect Holding Clerk at Gunpoint"

https://is.gd/cAezcL

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:05 PM (4ZzTK)

11 The switchplate screwheads were not all aligned perfectly vertical. Had they been, the couch would have been dented, not the wall.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at December 21, 2025 02:05 PM (lLEcp)

12 You should probably just move.

Posted by: Don Black at December 21, 2025 02:05 PM (ZxPkt)

13
^
That is some real Raylen Givens shit, right there, boy.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:06 PM (4ZzTK)

14 7 Or just burn the whole damned thing down to the foundation!

I dunno, those insurance investigators are pretty shrewd.

Posted by: Paco at December 21, 2025 02:03 PM

Put the accelerant inside the damaged switch receptacle, that way it looks like an electrical fire.***

***Listen to my podcast for more money-saving tips!
(Typical influencer during the current crazy times.)

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at December 21, 2025 02:07 PM (HlyYF)

15 Or just burn the whole damned thing down to the foundation!

Hey! You need a house to go with this doorknob.

Posted by: Daffy Duck, Salesman at December 21, 2025 02:07 PM (uQesX)

16 As always with couches take Ross Geller's advice "Pivot"

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 21, 2025 02:08 PM (MoRvC)

17 Sawzall will take the couch down to easily portable chunks in no time at all. I only suggest that as an alternative since I have both replaced a couch AND a door frame and I know which one is easier.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 21, 2025 02:08 PM (rbvCR)

18 Stupid criminals win stupid prizes.
In this case, lead.

Posted by: proudvastrightwingguy at December 21, 2025 02:08 PM (MNCvZ)

19
"Why did you shoot me?," he asked. Really.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:09 PM (4ZzTK)

20 Sawzall is to dismantle the couch

Done it

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 21, 2025 02:11 PM (/lPRQ)

21 burn the whole damned thing down to the foundation then SALT it about 2 feet deep.

Posted by: ZooomZooom (R) at December 21, 2025 02:11 PM (8HxBH)

22 Why did you shoot me?," he asked. Really.
Posted by: Soothsayer

I wanted to watch a man die today.

Posted by: Johnny Cash at December 21, 2025 02:11 PM (N/gmR)

23 Just buy an oversized wall plate. Yours looks to be a small one.

Posted by: pawn at December 21, 2025 02:12 PM (EMg+d)

24 > Or just burn the whole damned thing down to the foundation!
--------
We should have a little chat about your policy.

Posted by: Your Insurance Adjuster at December 21, 2025 02:12 PM (NwnyJ)

25 God Bless Texas!

"Houston Officer Shoots Suspect Holding Clerk at Gunpoint"

https://is.gd/cAezcL
Posted by: Soothsayer

Only if the first shot incapacitated the hoodlum and then Officer Friendly does a mag dump into his legs and gut

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 21, 2025 02:14 PM (/lPRQ)

26 I can't come up with a FWP. Honestly, I'm lucky to have what I have.

Posted by: Don Black at December 21, 2025 02:14 PM (ZxPkt)

27 Sawzall is to dismantle the couch

Done it
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

Piker.

Posted by: WVU fans at December 21, 2025 02:14 PM (N/gmR)

28 If you didn't snore, you wouldn't have had to take the couch down into the basement to begin with.

Let me help you:

https://youtu.be/jEZ5kay0MT4

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at December 21, 2025 02:14 PM (Pmfrl)

29 Or just burn the whole damned thing down to the foundation!

Is this that Jewish lightning thing?

Posted by: Way to perpetuate a stereotype! at December 21, 2025 02:14 PM (TbWk/)

30 Or just burn the whole damned thing down to the foundation!

That reminds me, hearing the phrase - "the building was razed to the ground" will one day result in me getting charged with battery.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 21, 2025 02:15 PM (cYBz/)

31 15 Or just burn the whole damned thing down to the foundation!

Hey! You need a house to go with this doorknob.
Posted by: Daffy Duck, Salesman at December 21, 2025 02:07 PM (uQesX)

Nuke it from orbit - it's the only way to be sure....

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at December 21, 2025 02:16 PM (QGaXH)

32 My hunch is Casa CBD has a bit of “patina” given the mayhaps occurring.

Posted by: DanMan at December 21, 2025 02:16 PM (8uzBS)

33 That reminds me, hearing the phrase - "the building was razed to the ground" will one day result in me getting charged with battery.
Posted by: Tonypete at December 21, 2025 02:15 PM (cYBz/)

Lithium-ion or good old-fashioned alkaline?

Posted by: Get charged with battery, battery get charged with cables at December 21, 2025 02:17 PM (TbWk/)

34
Vice President Vance speaking NOW

Am-Fest:

https://is.gd/GiK3Fi

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:17 PM (4ZzTK)

35 That reminds me, hearing the phrase - "the building was razed to the ground" will one day result in me getting charged with battery.
Posted by: Tonypete at December 21, 2025 02:15 PM (cYBz/)

Lithium-ion or good old-fashioned alkaline?
Posted by: Get charged with battery, battery get charged with cables

Nipple clamps or testicles?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 21, 2025 02:18 PM (/lPRQ)

36
Vance: "In the United States of America, you don't have to apologize for being white, anymore."

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:19 PM (4ZzTK)

37 Nipple clamps or testicles?
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

Rectal probe rod.

Posted by: George Michael at December 21, 2025 02:20 PM (N/gmR)

38 Do you ever catch aPauling News? There are a bunch of them. This one is More Crazy Women Videos including a woman who demands $478 of "pre-date and post-date expenses" in addition to, of course, paying for the date.

https://is.gd/nw90i3

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 21, 2025 02:20 PM (L/fGl)

39 My FWP is I can't get a wirebrush in the exhaust fan, so I has to do what I could and then rin it until all the loose dust and cobwebs fell all over the bathroom.

Posted by: NaughtyPine at December 21, 2025 02:20 PM (zjSl+)

40 It's satisfying seeing Les Wexner's name getting dragged through the mud again due to the Epstein pictures and files being released, his possible connections with the CIA's air arm 'Southern Air', the old Rickenbacker AFB and $$ laundering and gun running to Somalia.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 21, 2025 02:21 PM (cYBz/)

41 All doors and hallways should be 5ft wide.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 21, 2025 02:21 PM (sDNVV)

42
Vance: We will end left-wing violence in America. We will prosectute BOTH the brick-thrower AND the buyer of those bricks.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:21 PM (4ZzTK)

43 I had to move a couch through the front door, into an L-shaped hallway, and back into the living room. A high school wrestling coach, two husky wrestlers, and a generous amount of pizza money later, it was done.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at December 21, 2025 02:23 PM (GjEvj)

44 Do you ever catch aPauling News? There are a bunch of them. This one is More Crazy Women Videos including a woman who demands $478 of "pre-date and post-date expenses" in addition to, of course, paying for the date.

https://is.gd/nw90i3
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice!

And that is why we will never be a cashless society.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 21, 2025 02:23 PM (/lPRQ)

45 He who suppies the bricks needs to get prosecuted

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2025 02:26 PM (Ia/+0)

46 Vice President Vance speaking NOW

Am-Fest:

"Thanks everyone for coming tonight! I know you were invited to hear about an exciting opportunity – let's jump right in and learn about the plan that will take you...”

Posted by: pawn at December 21, 2025 02:27 PM (EMg+d)

47 That big of a crack should get taped or mesh, it will crack out if you don't

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2025 02:27 PM (Ia/+0)

48 He who suppies the bricks needs to get prosecuted
Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2025 02:26 PM (Ia/+0)

That will destroy the current system.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 21, 2025 02:27 PM (rbvCR)

49 Sheesh. I guess my real FWP is speech-to-text doesn't work well for me.

Posted by: NaughtyPine at December 21, 2025 02:28 PM (zjSl+)

50 Holy cow! Did half of Texas move to Colorado ? Everyday here in the front range, more and more trucks and suvs with Texas plates.

Posted by: alpine_beer at December 21, 2025 02:28 PM (van9r)

51 I am not a fan of those flat light switches. I have one in the pantry because I need to use my elbow at times since my hands are full, but otherwise I think they are not very aesthetic

I have seen the neatest switch though, the plate has an inset LED that is connected "on" all the time so in the dark there is a night light in each room

Posted by: Kindltot at December 21, 2025 02:29 PM (rbvCR)

52 When Alex Jones tells you to cool your jets . . .

Alex Jones says he’s worried about Candace Owens and that she’s playing it fast and loose with the facts.

He says he’s coming out with a report to debunk Candace’s latest conspiracy theory around the assassination of Charlie Kirk, which involves — without evidence — a congressman from Nevada, Erika Kirk, a Daily Wire staffer, and Charlie Kirk’s head of security meeting at a U.S. military base the day before Charlie Kirk was assassinated.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 21, 2025 02:30 PM (L/fGl)

53
Probably the leftist queers moving out of Texas and going to blue Colorado.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:30 PM (4ZzTK)

54 We cut the basement couch up when moving out of my first house. Apparently it put on some length or width or something after we got it down there.

Posted by: Fritz (not Fritz) at December 21, 2025 02:30 PM (JsnfW)

55 50 Holy cow! Did half of Texas move to Colorado ? Everyday here in the front range, more and more trucks and suvs with Texas plates.
Posted by: alpine_beer at December 21, 2025 02:28 PM (van9r)
Do you still have energy search or production there? That's why Texans.

Posted by: Eromero at December 21, 2025 02:30 PM (LHPAg)

56 Vance: We will end left-wing violence in America. We will prosectute BOTH the brick-thrower AND the buyer of those bricks.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:21 PM (4ZzTK)

Hee hee. And we'll overturn the verdict.

Posted by: Some Judge at December 21, 2025 02:31 PM (uQesX)

57 Holy cow! Did half of Texas move to Colorado ? Everyday here in the front range, more and more trucks and suvs with Texas plates.
Posted by: alpine_beer at December 21, 2025 02:28 PM (van9r)

I was briefly a New Mexico resident. I had heard tales of boorish Texans flooding the ski areas, but didn't really believe them. Then I found out they were true.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at December 21, 2025 02:32 PM (GjEvj)

58 Candy Cane Owens is grifting and hey it’s profitable. Can’t blame her.

But who the fuck are the people buying her nonsense? Those are the scary ones.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 21, 2025 02:32 PM (UJWr0)

59 looks serviceable to me.

Posted by: cmeat at December 21, 2025 02:32 PM (R11M+)

60 I suspect your fancy motion/occupancy sensor failed and you crashed into the wall plate in the dark. Don't blame the couch.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 21, 2025 02:33 PM (nljXp)

61 I was briefly a New Mexico resident. I had heard tales of boorish Texans flooding the ski areas, but didn't really believe them. Then I found out they were true.
Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at December 21, 2025 02:32 PM (GjEvj)

Texan is the “boomer” of skiing. No matter the problem Texans caused it.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 21, 2025 02:33 PM (UJWr0)

62 What's up with those screws pointing every which way?!?

Posted by: Dodd at December 21, 2025 02:33 PM (1hSg1)

63 I got your first world problem. I woke to a broken furnace. Repair guy just left after telling me the patient is terminal. Now I'm waiting for the estimator to come tell me just how deep the pipe is going for a new furnace.

Merry friggin Christmas.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 21, 2025 02:35 PM (viF8m)

64 Unlike a woman, the parts that stick out are hard. So a couch is more like a dude.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 21, 2025 02:35 PM (zZu0s)

65 3 homes ago there was a book shelf that was somehow moved into a room. Upon moving out that bookshelf could not come out. The physics would not allow it to fit through the door frame. To this day I don’t know how that happened.

Ended up leaving it there, the new owners said they’d be happy to have it.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 21, 2025 02:36 PM (UJWr0)

66 Oh me oh my! C’est tragique! What EVAH shall be done!? Time to git your 'New Switch' on …

Posted by: Dr_No at December 21, 2025 02:37 PM (ayRl+)

67 Buy a frame that goes behind the face plate. Easy Peasy.

Posted by: Opinion fact at December 21, 2025 02:38 PM (KDPiq)

68 3 homes ago there was a book shelf that was somehow moved into a room. Upon moving out that bookshelf could not come out. The physics would not allow it to fit through the door frame. To this day I don’t know how that happened.

Ended up leaving it there, the new owners said they’d be happy to have it.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald

Maybe it was assembled in the room.
Was there an Ikea label on it?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 21, 2025 02:39 PM (/lPRQ)

69
Vance: we sent enough $$ to ukraine, America first

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:40 PM (4ZzTK)

70
Is it true we just sent another $800M to zleensky?
And $600M to Netanyahoo?

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:40 PM (4ZzTK)

71 Or just burn the whole damned thing down to the foundation!

It's the only way to be sure.

Posted by: toby928(c) shrugs at December 21, 2025 02:40 PM (jc0TO)

72 Engine problems.

Strange smell coming from Tennessee man's SUV turns out to be a giant python

https://is.gd/BZOK0Q

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 21, 2025 02:41 PM (L/fGl)

73 Odd that you should have a light switch in the picture. I had to replace one yesterday.
Hmmmmmm ....

Posted by: Diogenes at December 21, 2025 02:42 PM (2WIwB)

74 My FWP is that I was reheating a vegetable dish in a pot on low and then fell asleep. The smell of burnt vegetable woke me up. Now my stainless steel pot is completely coated with a black crust. I may have to take a wire-wheel to it.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 21, 2025 02:42 PM (nljXp)

75 See if you can get the random mesh style fiber tape. It is much easier to use and more forgiving if you sand too much

Posted by: Accomack at December 21, 2025 02:44 PM (+sNap)

76 Stuff some newsprint in the gap and mud over it.

Posted by: toby928(c) shrugs at December 21, 2025 02:44 PM (jc0TO)

77 Strange smell coming from Tennessee man's SUV turns out to be a giant python
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks

We have a shit ton of native sneks down here but pythons ain't one of them.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 21, 2025 02:45 PM (cYBz/)

78 Is there some cosmic plan for this sort of stuff,

Not that I'm aware of.

[drops toast, lands peanut butter side down]

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at December 21, 2025 02:45 PM (/HDaX)

79 I was briefly a New Mexico resident. I had heard tales of boorish Texans flooding the ski areas, but didn't really believe them. Then I found out they were true.
Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at December 21, 2025 02:32 PM (GjEvj)

Every other state is like Europe to Texans. And for those states they look at Texans like Europeans look at Americans. We just ignore the hate .

Posted by: Opinion fact at December 21, 2025 02:45 PM (KDPiq)

80 got your first world problem. I woke to a broken furnace. Repair guy just left after telling me the patient is terminal. Now I'm waiting for the estimator to come tell me just how deep the pipe is going for a new furnace.

Merry friggin Christmas.
Posted by: JackStraw at December 21, 2025 02:35 PM

I'm very sorry, JackStraw. Also, check your water heater.

Posted by: NaughtyPine at December 21, 2025 02:46 PM (zjSl+)

81 @ 74 My FWP is that I was reheating a vegetable dish in a pot on low and then fell asleep. The smell of burnt vegetable woke me up. Now my stainless steel pot is completely coated with a black crust. I may have to take a wire-wheel to it.
___________________________________________

NOOOOOOO! The solution is to put back on the stove, but turn the temp up to HIGH … then walk away for about 2 hrs or so. You'll have lots of lovely carbonized 'stuff' when it's done …

Posted by: Dr_No at December 21, 2025 02:46 PM (ayRl+)

82 "How did I get the couch down into the basement in the first place?"

The question is why was the couch in the basement to begin with?

Posted by: Tuna at December 21, 2025 02:46 PM (lJ0H4)

83 That was a good speech by JD.

Posted by: NaughtyPine at December 21, 2025 02:47 PM (zjSl+)

84 He could have cut the couch in half and made things easier.... or how ever many pieces you want.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 21, 2025 02:48 PM (zZu0s)

85 As my mom used to say gazing upon the havoc wrought by her brood: "What this house needs is a can of gas & a match!"

Posted by: Pikov Andropov at December 21, 2025 02:48 PM (ydtVv)

86 got your first world problem. I woke to a broken furnace. Repair guy just left after telling me the patient is terminal.

Merry friggin Christmas.
Posted by: JackStraw

What's the problem? Simply wait for the globull warmining to raise your temps to a comfortable range.

Voila!

Posted by: Tonypete at December 21, 2025 02:48 PM (cYBz/)

87 I thought we were supposed to be abandoning Vance because he was not condemning tucker?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 21, 2025 02:49 PM (zZu0s)

88 This is of particular interest to me since we have plaster walls, I need to hang some things (particularly a storage cabinet in my tiny bathroom), and I'm terrified of disturbing the plaster.

What to do. I'd really like to keep an extra set of towels in my bathroom, but there's no floor space to set a linen cabinet.

Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at December 21, 2025 02:49 PM (FMtrg)

89 W have a gas furnace for the steam heat in Queens. She got a quote of 2500 for a used installed.

Posted by: Accomack at December 21, 2025 02:50 PM (+sNap)

90 Worst is a hidabed couch. Fuck, those things are heavy. And awkward.

Its like Lena Dunham as furniture.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 21, 2025 02:51 PM (zZu0s)

91 I'd really like to keep an extra set of towels in my bathroom, but there's no floor space to set a linen cabinet.
Posted by: Emmie

More towels? Can't you just wipe your hands, butt, or face on your sleeves?

Posted by: Tonypete at December 21, 2025 02:51 PM (cYBz/)

92 I thought we were supposed to be abandoning Vance because he was not condemning tucker?
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 21, 2025 02:49 PM (zZu0s)

No, we are supposed to be condemning Vance until he bows under the pressure and gives Levin's kid a job.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 21, 2025 02:51 PM (rbvCR)

93 Wood lath plaster or wire mesh with plaster?

Posted by: Accomack at December 21, 2025 02:51 PM (+sNap)

94 I thought we were supposed to be abandoning Vance because he was not condemning tucker?
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 21, 2025 02:49 PM (zZu0s)

You're just asking questions right?

Posted by: Opinion fact at December 21, 2025 02:51 PM (KDPiq)

95 >>What's the problem? Simply wait for the globull warmining to raise your temps to a comfortable range.

I assure you my internal temperature is toasty.

I literally had a new refrigerator installed yesterday after the previous piece of crap died for the last time. The joys of homeownership.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 21, 2025 02:52 PM (viF8m)

96 I'm adding J&J band aids and Kimberly Clark Kleenex to my first world problem list.
Both adhesives related.
Band aids where one side won't come off backing (most of the box).
Tissues where the plastic dispenser cover comes off the box.

I'm now done with both brands forever. Congratulations you found shaved and shaved costs until you 'premium' brand sucks

Posted by: InspiredHistoryMike at December 21, 2025 02:52 PM (KaHlS)

97 FWP?

The time goes so quickly now that I've stopped working.

It'll be two years soon and it's gone by in the blink of an eye.

I also had a deadbolt lock fall apart on the door from the kitchen to the garage. Upon disassembly, found that a little 'C' clamp had fallen off. Reassembled it and it works but kinda wonder why it did that.

If I can get off my lazy A I'd take pictures and send them in.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at December 21, 2025 02:53 PM (QGaXH)

98 Once had movers put an overstuffed chair right through the drywall. I wasn't pleased and no it didn't buff right out.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at December 21, 2025 02:54 PM (2NHgQ)

99
My REAL SoothsayerWorldProblem today?

Lugging the heavy 3rd Row Seat out of the closet to reinstall in my Navigator so I can get a State Inspection Sticker.

No sticker unless all the "original" OEM is present & functional. Really.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:55 PM (Je/pu)

100 >>>NOOOOOOO! The solution is to put back on the stove, but turn the temp up to HIGH … then walk away for about 2 hrs or so. You'll have lots of lovely carbonized 'stuff' when it's done …

Posted by: Dr_No

>I refilled the pot with water and a splash of vinegar. Most of it all came out, but what's left, I suspect, is carburized. Pan still works, no unpleasant residual flavor.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 21, 2025 02:55 PM (nljXp)

101
Headline (Wall Street Journal):

"US oil blockade of Venezuela pushes Cuba toward collapse"

Posted by: mrp at December 21, 2025 02:57 PM (rj6Yv)

102 Just get an oversized wall plate and call it good....

Posted by: ERF at December 21, 2025 02:58 PM (qqD/x)

103 >>>Once had movers put an overstuffed chair right through the drywall. I wasn't pleased and no it didn't buff right out.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine

>Did you rub some dirt on it? Maybe toothpaste?

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 21, 2025 02:59 PM (nljXp)

104 "US oil blockade of Venezuela pushes Cuba toward collapse"
Posted by: mrp

I suppose there are downsides also but I can't think of any right off.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 21, 2025 02:59 PM (cYBz/)

105 "US oil blockade of Venezuela pushes Cuba toward collapse"
Posted by: mrp at December 21, 2025 02:57 PM

Cuba is already collapsed. I mean, are we talking cannibalism here?

Posted by: toby928(c) shrugs at December 21, 2025 03:00 PM (jc0TO)

106 78 Is there some cosmic plan for this sort of stuff,

Not that I'm aware of.

[drops toast, lands peanut butter side down]
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at December 21, 2025 02:45 PM (/HDaX)

God has a sense of humor. But he's also kind of a dick.

Posted by: Cats always land on their feet, so Bastet? at December 21, 2025 03:00 PM (TbWk/)

107 Headline (Wall Street Journal):

"US oil blockade of Venezuela pushes Cuba toward collapse"
Posted by: mrp at December 21, 2025 02:57 PM (rj6Yv)

Canadians hardest hit!!

Posted by: My dream vacation!! at December 21, 2025 03:00 PM (uQesX)

108 You're just asking questions right?
Posted by: Opinion fact at December 21, 2025 02:51 PM (KDPiq)

That's me. I literally had a great uncle named Adolph. Northern Italian (Torino.) Born in Italy but came here as a boy.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 21, 2025 03:01 PM (zZu0s)

109 "Smacking the switch plate with the edge of the couch hard enough to crack some plaster was not the original plan."
==

It's Ace and shelves and CBD and switch plates.

Posted by: mrp at December 21, 2025 03:02 PM (rj6Yv)

110 Don’t jump!

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at December 21, 2025 03:06 PM (XXGyT)

111 Probably the leftist queers moving out of Texas and going to blue Colorado.
Posted by: Soothsayer at December 21, 2025 02:30 PM (4ZzTK)

So now all you have is steers ?

Posted by: alpine_beer at December 21, 2025 03:08 PM (van9r)

112 The entire wall has to go. Consider Burnt GrokButt for the entire house.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 21, 2025 03:10 PM (mlg/3)

113 Kansas City Chiefs, right now:

“By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?”

Posted by: Don Black at December 21, 2025 03:12 PM (ZxPkt)

114 Somebody might be getting a wrecking ball for Christmas!

Posted by: LGBTQ+POC, ANTI RACIST HERO at December 21, 2025 03:13 PM (TD894)

115 Strange smell coming from Tennessee man's SUV turns out to be a giant python
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks

We have a shit ton of native sneks down here but pythons ain't one of them.
Posted by: Tonypete at December 21, 2025 02:45 PM (cYBz/)

No step on snek!
Sneks bad!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at December 21, 2025 03:13 PM (2WIwB)

116 When home repairs are in the offing, I find demolition is preferable. Tear/burn it down and keep moving West, like our plucky ancestors.

Posted by: The Westward Ho at December 21, 2025 03:14 PM (oftw2)

117 You cannot change the Laws of Physics and Geometry but can change the laws of man which most of the time....

SUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Jackson at December 21, 2025 03:15 PM (J9q9v)

118 There’s a Law and Order channel on Samsung TV. I’ve been watching hung it old school episodes from the 90s. Different world. There are actually white people in NYC. And not just the evil white supremacist bad guys.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 21, 2025 03:16 PM (UJWr0)

119 When home repairs are in the offing, I find demolition is preferable. Tear/burn it down and keep moving West, like our plucky ancestors.
Posted by: The Westward Ho at December 21, 2025 03:14 PM (oftw2)

Don't I know it.

Posted by: The Mirage at December 21, 2025 03:18 PM (uQesX)

120 My first world problem is that I bought a tiny compressor at a yard sale for $10 (it works great, I tested it before I paid the guy and used to today to put plastic over the window I haven't replaced) and now I have to find some sucker to buy my big compressor so it's not cluttering up my house.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at December 21, 2025 03:21 PM (C0Nlv)

121 He says he’s coming out with a report to debunk Candace’s latest conspiracy theory around the assassination of Charlie Kirk, which involves — without evidence — a congressman from Nevada, Erika Kirk, a Daily Wire staffer, and Charlie Kirk’s head of security meeting at a U.S. military base the day before Charlie Kirk was assassinated.

I was going to ask whether that wasn't so obviously insane that it needed debunking, but then I remembered the Times In Which We Live

Posted by: FeatherBlade at December 21, 2025 03:23 PM (C0Nlv)

122 118 There’s a Law and Order channel on Samsung TV. I’ve been watching hung it old school episodes from the 90s. Different world. There are actually white people in NYC. And not just the evil white supremacist bad guys.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 21, 2025 03:16 PM

I'm watching Fraser on Tubi. I forgot how funny it was.

Posted by: NaughtyPine at December 21, 2025 03:23 PM (zjSl+)

123 When home repairs are in the offing, I find demolition is preferable. Tear/burn it down and keep moving West, like our plucky ancestors.
Posted by: The Westward Ho at December 21, 2025 03:14 PM

Recover the nails.

Posted by: toby928(c) shrugs at December 21, 2025 03:24 PM (jc0TO)

124 Relax. Just a little spackle or easier still, joint compound and a new faceplate.

C'mon dude. This nothing. Hopefully you got a drop or three of paint that matches.

Posted by: no one at December 21, 2025 03:25 PM (W7XSX)

125 118 There’s a Law and Order channel on Samsung TV. I’ve been watching hung it old school episodes from the 90s. Different world. There are actually white people in NYC. And not just the evil white supremacist bad guys.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 21, 2025 03:16 PM (UJWr0)

When did all the white guys disappear from advertising? We're invisible unless we're being schooled by a smart young female/minority doctor or judge or neighbor...

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at December 21, 2025 03:25 PM (QGaXH)

126
Sneks bad!!!
Posted by: Diogenes
--------

Ojection! You paint with a broad brush, sir!

There is a Southern Black Racer ('Blackie', 6' 2") which lives in the double-wall lattice brickwork of my porch. It seems to have adopted me, and slithers over passively when we are both out there, as if to say 'Hello'.

In the Fall, he left me an intact shed skin, which I have trimmed down into bookmark-sized strips and laminated for just that purpose.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 21, 2025 03:25 PM (XeU6L)

127 My FWP is my 9 hole golf club is going to do a shotgun start for first morning tee time during the winter season . They definitely aren't math majors because that actually gives you a third less tee times available for the day.

Posted by: Opinion fact at December 21, 2025 03:25 PM (KDPiq)

128 This could be a blessing in disguise. That "Intermatic" device on the right side of the switchplate is notorious for broadcasting data back to their overlords in Peking. Every word, every keystroke is being recorded. Please remove device and discard. A large blank cover will hide the crater and you will be able to sleep at night.

Posted by: Prudence Dictates at December 21, 2025 03:25 PM (oftw2)

129 Cosmic plan?

Yes. It's called Physics. It takes work to bring order from chaos.

Posted by: no one at December 21, 2025 03:26 PM (W7XSX)

130 How about just layer over another sheet of drywall?

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2025 03:26 PM (Ia/+0)

131 Frazier is funny. Niles. Lilith. The timing. The Corkmaster hymn.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at December 21, 2025 03:27 PM (XXGyT)

132 Recover the nails.
Posted by: toby928(c) shrugs at December 21, 2025 03:24 PM (jc0TO)

You are not allowed to do that.

Posted by: The New York Legislature at December 21, 2025 03:27 PM (uQesX)

133 More towels? Can't you just wipe your hands, butt, or face on your sleeves?
Posted by: Tonypete at December 21, 2025 02:51 PM (cYBz/)

I'm much too dainty and refined for that.

(extends pinky)

Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at December 21, 2025 03:27 PM (FMtrg)

134 When did all the white guys disappear from advertising?
--------

They are useful for portraying the inept or clumsy.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 21, 2025 03:28 PM (XeU6L)

135 Ojection! You paint with a broad brush, sir!

There is a Southern Black Racer ('Blackie', 6' 2") which lives in the double-wall lattice brickwork of my porch. It seems to have adopted me, and slithers over passively when we are both out there, as if to say 'Hello'.

In the Fall, he left me an intact shed skin, which I have trimmed down into bookmark-sized strips and laminated for just that purpose.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 21, 2025 03:25 PM (XeU6L)
***

*shudders*
Dude! He's just trying to figure out how to eat you.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 21, 2025 03:29 PM (2WIwB)

136 Headline (Wall Street Journal):

"US oil blockade of Venezuela pushes Cuba toward collapse"
Posted by: mrp at December 21, 2025 02:57 PM (rj6Yv)

well I won't take a bow, but I called that the night the first tanker was seized. It's inevitable. Cuba is so far down that no one even covers it anymore, so no one in the US realizes how close to the edge of total collapse it is.
In a way Candace is doing a service to us all by exposing a huge weakness in the way we're all doing things on the net - someone can hop on and make a huge splash by making absolutely wild and crazy claims on the net, and then make a lot of money by getting x million people to look at their site - and when it blows up they don't suffer for it, they just jump to the next insane claim. I don't know what the fix for that is, but it's not healthy for any of us to accept that as a normal state of affairs.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 21, 2025 03:30 PM (uWKK8)

137 They make oversized switchplates for this exact situation.

Posted by: UnkleSteve at December 21, 2025 03:30 PM (cCEo5)

138 CBD, PG&E could use your expertise.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at December 21, 2025 03:31 PM (ZxYC6)

139 My two favorite DEI commercials are the Heineken beer one with the black Vikings and the Coppertone Sunscreen /Sun Tan lotion where the young black girl is the main focus for using the product.

Posted by: Opinion fact at December 21, 2025 03:33 PM (KDPiq)

140 My FWP today is the Bills’ defense.

Posted by: Accomack at December 21, 2025 03:33 PM (Dpv2s)

141 well I won't take a bow, but I called that the night the first tanker was seized. It's inevitable. Cuba is so far down that no one even covers it anymore, so no one in the US realizes how close to the edge of total collapse it is.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 21, 2025 03:30 PM (uWKK

Babalu Blog used to cover Cuba, but it disappeared. Never found out why.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at December 21, 2025 03:34 PM (uQesX)

142 131 Frazier is funny. Niles. Lilith. The timing. The Corkmaster hymn.
Posted by: Hokey Pokey at December 21, 2025 03:27 PM

+++

This one always makes chuckle.

https://youtu.be/gZAUXVw_TW4

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at December 21, 2025 03:34 PM (2Ez/1)

143 >>My FWP today is the Bills’ defense.

You don't get to complain. You have the only NY team with a QB. And he's really good.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 21, 2025 03:36 PM (viF8m)

144 Frasier was Old People Friends
* hides in bunker *

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 21, 2025 03:36 PM (mlg/3)

145 You have a gas furnace? Sheesh. I wish I had a gas furnace. Heat pumps suck when it get really cold.

Posted by: no one at December 21, 2025 03:38 PM (W7XSX)

146 139 My two favorite DEI commercials are the Heineken beer one with the black Vikings and the Coppertone Sunscreen /Sun Tan lotion where the young black girl is the main focus for using the product.
Posted by: Opinion fact at December 21, 2025 03:33 PM (KDPiq)

Then there's the financial service commercial on Fox Biz with a 1800's wagon train and implausible for then couple in the lead wagon....

And do you ever see a car/truck commercial with a white male driving or even riding in the front seat?

And virtually every family commercial where the dad is the caregiver or in the kitchen while mom is at the computer working....

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at December 21, 2025 03:38 PM (QGaXH)

147 What to do. I'd really like to keep an extra set of towels in my bathroom, but there's no floor space to set a linen cabinet.
Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous!

I'm jumping ahead, and dunno if anyone's answered you yet, but plaster is easier than drywall. You have lathe behind it all. Use any anchor you like, and hang anything you like.

Posted by: MkY at December 21, 2025 03:39 PM (q6tQZ)

148 144 Frasier was Old People Friends.
---
Ahem. We'd like a word.

Posted by: The Honeymooners at December 21, 2025 03:40 PM (2Ez/1)

149 We don't even know how to open a car door anymore...

Posted by: White males in commercials at December 21, 2025 03:42 PM (2Ez/1)

150 148 144 Frasier was Old People Friends.
---
Ahem. We'd like a word.
Posted by: The Honeymooners at December 21, 2025 03:40 PM (2Ez/1)

Big Bang Theory - Friends with 'Math'

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at December 21, 2025 03:42 PM (QGaXH)

151 Favorite 'Frazier' segment, restaurant kitchen scene:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsObReAzbPA

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 21, 2025 03:44 PM (XeU6L)

152 Frasier was Old People Friends.
---
Ahem. We'd like a word.
Posted by: The Honeymooners
---------
I Love Lucy

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 21, 2025 03:45 PM (XeU6L)

153 Every other state is like Europe to Texans. And for those states they look at Texans like Europeans look at Americans. We just ignore the hate .
Posted by: Opinion fact

Never did understand why Texans are so sensitive.
Perfectly fine state.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 21, 2025 03:46 PM (/lPRQ)

154 Big Bang Theory - Friends with 'Math'
Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan/i]

No, BBT was floppy wristed writers who lived in Pasadena thinking they were just as interesting as those that went to CalTech.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 21, 2025 03:47 PM (mlg/3)

155 Never did understand why Texans are so sensitive.
Perfectly fine state.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

All hat. No cattle.

Posted by: MkY at December 21, 2025 03:47 PM (q6tQZ)

156 "US oil blockade of Venezuela pushes Cuba toward collapse"
Posted by: mrp at December 21, 2025 02:57 PM (rj6Yv)

well I won't take a bow, but I called that the night the first tanker was seized. It's inevitable. Cuba is so far down that no one even covers it anymore, so no one in the US realizes how close to the edge of total collapse it is.
In a way Candace is doing a service to us all by exposing a huge weakness in the way we're all doing things on the net - someone can hop on and make a huge splash by making absolutely wild and crazy claims on the net, and then make a lot of money by getting x million people to look at their site - and when it blows up they don't suffer for it, they just jump to the next insane claim. I don't know what the fix for that is, but it's not healthy for any of us to accept that as a normal state of affairs.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 21, 2025 03:30 PM

We were stationed at GITMO from 93-95 and there have been stories on and off over the intervening years since then about the impending collapse of Cuba. I will believe it when I see it.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at December 21, 2025 03:49 PM (0N4FZ)

157 Disney Santa Claus is black now

https://x.com/WallStreetApes/status/
2002755945236160718

Posted by: Don Black at December 21, 2025 03:49 PM (ZxPkt)

158 Thinking tea or cognac

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2025 03:50 PM (Ia/+0)

159 You can't H8 Disney enough pushing Cultural Marxism

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2025 03:51 PM (Ia/+0)

160 Teanac would make for a great industrial band name.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 21, 2025 03:51 PM (mlg/3)

161 Thinking tea or cognac
Posted by: Skip

How much farther from one to another can you think?
I think I'll have a taco. No, no, what I really need is milk.

Posted by: MkY at December 21, 2025 03:52 PM (q6tQZ)

162 Wood lath is a nightmare. Plain old Sheetrock is a blessing. Use snap toggles or the screw in anchor.

Posted by: Accomack at December 21, 2025 03:52 PM (9H7EW)

163 Good grief

The Chiefs are down 26-9 in the 4th to the 2-12 Titans

3:44 to play

Posted by: Don Black at December 21, 2025 03:52 PM (ZxPkt)

164 Tho, RaNdom BaCon EvenTs would have a square off with Teanac at the Filter's Metal Shop in Hawaiian Gardens and Teanac would lose in a bang-off.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 21, 2025 03:54 PM (mlg/3)

165 Stone Age Christian Cannibals
SDA had a story about the Māori doing the haka in protest of some Sikhs.
Stone Age Christian Cannibals or Sikhs

Posted by: Accomack at December 21, 2025 03:55 PM (9H7EW)

166 That was an ugly win for the Bills. Jeepers.

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 21, 2025 03:55 PM (IhIKR)

167 Never did understand why Texans are so sensitive.
Perfectly fine state.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 21, 2025 03:46 PM (/lPRQ)

"Never ask a man if he is from Texas. If he is, he will tell you. If he isn't, well, there is no sense in embarrassing him."

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at December 21, 2025 03:55 PM (GjEvj)

168 Wood lath is a nightmare. Plain old Sheetrock is a blessing. Use snap toggles or the screw in anchor.
Posted by: Accomack
My first old house, I learned how to fix plaster walls. Much more resilient than drywall.
Also soundproof. That was lost with drywall.

Posted by: MkY at December 21, 2025 03:56 PM (q6tQZ)

169 We were stationed at GITMO from 93-95 and there have been stories on and off over the intervening years since then about the impending collapse of Cuba. I will believe it when I see it.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at December 21, 2025 03:49 PM (0N4FZ)

For me, it's their electrical grid that is key. It's already collapsed four times this year, and to make a long story short, without constant oil shipments from Venezuela, the entire electrical grid for the entire island collapses and there is no bringing it back up.
With no grid there's no food for anyone except each other.
You could say it would be easy for any other country to walk in and take over, except they are so far down that no one wants to step in and touch that tar baby.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 21, 2025 03:57 PM (uWKK8)

170 Coppertone Sunscreen /Sun Tan lotion where the young black girl is the main focus for using the product.
Posted by: Opinion fact

To be fair, they do get darker in the sun.
A lot of asian office workers stay out of the lest they get a solid tan and look like a laborer.

It's a class thing.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 21, 2025 03:57 PM (/lPRQ)

171 Also soundproof. That was lost with drywall.
Posted by: MkY at December 21, 2025 03:56 PM (q6tQZ)

Tell me more...

Posted by: Buffalo Bill of Silence of the Lambs at December 21, 2025 03:57 PM (GjEvj)

172 You could say it would be easy for any other country to walk in and take over, except they are so far down that no one wants to step in and touch that tar baby.
Posted by: Tom Servo at December 21, 2025 03:57 PM (uWKK

A new homeland for the Gazans!

Posted by: A Guy With A Bright Idea at December 21, 2025 03:59 PM (GjEvj)

173 Also soundproof. That was lost with drywall.
Posted by: MkY

Sheet lead will protect you from sound and radiation. Remember to us lead-headed screws. Nice asbestos draperies can further insulate your happy home.

Posted by: Hints From Heloise at December 21, 2025 04:00 PM (oftw2)

174
We were stationed at GITMO from 93-95 and there have been stories on and off over the intervening years since then about the impending collapse of Cuba. I will believe it when I see it.
Posted by: Mister Scott

Same with China.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 21, 2025 04:00 PM (pkeXY)

175 Wood lath is a nightmare. Plain old Sheetrock is a blessing. Use snap toggles or the screw in anchor.
Posted by: Accomack

There is a reason why chairails and picture moulding was a thing when walls were plaster.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 21, 2025 04:00 PM (/lPRQ)

176 Tell me more...
Posted by: Buffalo Bill

As example, we built two guest bedrooms in the basement. How do hotels isolate sound?
They used to depend on plaster and lathe, now, they build a two wall system, with studs offset... or insulate.

Posted by: MkY at December 21, 2025 04:01 PM (q6tQZ)

177 153 Every other state is like Europe to Texans. And for those states they look at Texans like Europeans look at Americans. We just ignore the hate .
Posted by: Opinion fact

Never did understand why Texans are so sensitive.
Perfectly fine state.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 21, 2025 03:46 PM (/lPRQ)

Texas is to the US what France is to Europe; it's the part that knows that it's better than every other part, and doesn't stop letting the rest of them know it too.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 21, 2025 04:01 PM (uWKK8)

178 Get cleaned up and upstairs
FOODIE NOODIE TIME

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2025 04:01 PM (Ia/+0)

179 Nood!

Posted by: A Guy With A Bright Idea at December 21, 2025 04:01 PM (GjEvj)

180 Also soundproof. That was lost with drywall.
Posted by: MkY at December 21, 2025 03:56 PM (q6tQZ)

I have noticed this. It's such a blessing to not be awakened by things going on in the neighborhood. Previously, I have lived in a modern-built townhome within a mile of train tracks and the train whistle awakened me every couple of hours all night long. Urgh!

Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at December 21, 2025 04:02 PM (FMtrg)

181 PIVOT!

Posted by: Marybel Smiles at December 21, 2025 04:02 PM (cPkJi)

182 137 They make oversized switchplates for this exact situation.
Posted by: UnkleSteve at December 21, 2025 03:30 PM (cCEo5)

Yes! This is what I was going to say, too.

Posted by: m at December 21, 2025 04:05 PM (RuTUS)

183 "... they are so far down that no one wants to step in and touch that tar baby."

Cuba is the Haiti of the 21st Century.

Posted by: no one at December 21, 2025 04:10 PM (W7XSX)

184
Cuba is the Haiti of the 21st Century.
Posted by: no one
---------

We can fix this!

Posted by: The Clinton Foundation, rife with grift at December 21, 2025 04:14 PM (XeU6L)

185 A young man and his girlfriend are detained in a lost loss facility in a department store, accused of shoplifting. A cop is called. The kid pulls a gun and tries to shoot the cop but the gun misfires. A employee in white helps the cop disarm the kid, and an employee in black joins in.

Employees are brave. But what matters is the employee in black's t-shirt

https://tinyurl.com/mtdkmaps

Posted by: javems at December 21, 2025 04:40 PM (8I4hW)

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