First World Problems...

Is there any purpose to over-long laces? Is it some hipster code for "I bought the coolest hiking shoes?" Or is it a testament to the inability of shoe companies to use measuring equipment?

Am I supposed to double-knot, or maybe triple-knot? These things are long enough to tow a boat off the rocks!

Obviously I have to discard these shoes, and probably rebuild the closet in which they are stored. It might be easier to start over...raze the house and build new!

[1:58? A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds]

Posted by: CBD at 01:58 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Yes it is

Posted by: Pete Bog at December 14, 2025 02:01 PM (EU9xD)

2 Maybe get bigger shoes?

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 14, 2025 02:01 PM (NwnyJ)

3 Oh and numero uno!

Posted by: Pete Bog at December 14, 2025 02:01 PM (EU9xD)

4 Too much trouble to replace the long laces with shorter ones?

Posted by: Tuna at December 14, 2025 02:01 PM (lJ0H4)

5 Velcro

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 02:02 PM (Ia/+0)

6 Too much trouble to replace the long laces with shorter ones?

Posted by: Tuna at December 14, 2025 02:01 PM (lJ0H4)

Wait...what?

I don't think that can be done.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 14, 2025 02:02 PM (n9ltV)

7
What are those, clown shoes?

Gay clown shoes?

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:03 PM (kjnCv)

8 Wear Crocs. No laces, no extra length, no problem.

(Probably should sock this as "garret")

Posted by: a.moron at December 14, 2025 02:03 PM (X5Jzz)

9 Maybe get bigger shoes?

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 14, 2025 02:01 PM (NwnyJ)

Where would I find bigger feet to match?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 14, 2025 02:03 PM (n9ltV)

10 Slip ons are the new cool.

Sketchers lead the way.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 14, 2025 02:04 PM (KDPiq)

11 Check YouTube. There's probably a hundred videos about the One True Correct Way to tie your shoes.

Posted by: Oddbob at December 14, 2025 02:05 PM (gii4Y)

12 Just do double loops on your bowling shoes.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 14, 2025 02:06 PM (kpS4V)

13 Skechers .

No T

My bad

Posted by: the way I see it at December 14, 2025 02:06 PM (KDPiq)

14 They make the laces long to cover the most people with the least effort. Wide feet, or those with humpy, lumpy, insteps poison the shoelace market for those with slim, normal size 13 feet like me. We live in a fallen world and are in the midst of Judgement Day. The shoelace problem is just a symptom, irregardless.

Posted by: Tortured Sole at December 14, 2025 02:07 PM (oftw2)

15 My 1WP is having to go outside again, put stuff in trunk for tomorrow and clean a bit more of Global Warming off the driveway and deck

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 02:07 PM (Ia/+0)

16 Wait...what?

I don't think that can be done.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

I sympathize. That unlacing and relacing can get pretty complicated. Of course you could always cut off a bit on the too long laces. But then you'd have frayed ends. As you like to say "the struggle is real."

Posted by: Tuna at December 14, 2025 02:08 PM (lJ0H4)

17
Knot Tying

Some men can do it, some can't. A man who can tie knots, like, all kinds of knots, is sure to be handy and able to do lots of things.

It's a true skill. One that requires both high-IQ thinking and a good memory.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:09 PM (kjnCv)

18 No TV repairmen, nor cobblers, anymore. And what of the shoemaker's daughter?

Posted by: Ready To Give Her All at December 14, 2025 02:11 PM (oftw2)

19 Try the so called speed laces on my steel toes.

Posted by: Cow Demon at December 14, 2025 02:11 PM (4786I)

20 Artifact from when shoe lace cord could be used in certain survival applications. On ankle high boots, there used to be a hook above the heel. You'd wrap the excess lace around the back of the boot and have cord for an emergency. Each lace was approx. 2x the necessary length. Thus, you could use one lace in an emergency, and cut the other in half and still tie your boots.

Posted by: RS at December 14, 2025 02:11 PM (SuU/K)

21
Once in a while you find an actual good, informative video on Youtube.

"What The Heck Is (Are) 4 Ways of Carrying Sheet Goods When You Are By Yourself"

https://is.gd/2ERN3R

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:12 PM (kjnCv)

22 Otto-correct changed awl to all. Another FWP!

Posted by: It Never Ends! at December 14, 2025 02:13 PM (oftw2)

23 So when itt breaks in half there is still enough to keep the shoe on your foot

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 02:13 PM (Ia/+0)

24 You could go out in public with house shoes. People do it all the time now as it is cool to go around in public looking like you just got out of bed. (This country is so full of total slobs…

Posted by: Cow Demon at December 14, 2025 02:13 PM (4786I)

25 Shoe laces? You mean actually wearing shoes with laces? Why? Next thing you'll be wanting me to get out of my Mom's basement and get a job or something instead of playing video games and smoking weed all day. No thanks!

Posted by: 35 year old Sonny Drysdale, Original Monster Child at December 14, 2025 02:13 PM (R/m4+)

26 Try Lock Laces (tm)...

Posted by: man at December 14, 2025 02:13 PM (XuXeR)

27 CBD wears bowling shoes?

(scribbles notes for future reference)

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at December 14, 2025 02:14 PM (2Ez/1)

28 The only time I had detention in high school, I met a neat girl who wore platform shoes that laced up her calves. Also, hot pants and a halter top. Lovely ginger with luminous skin. Hardly noticed the laces were so long.

Posted by: Depends On The Context at December 14, 2025 02:16 PM (oftw2)

29 You could go out in public with house shoes. People do it all the time now as it is cool to go around in public looking like you just got out of bed. (This country is so full of total slobs…
Posted by: Cow Demon

Saw a woman with her little girl in the grocery store yesterday. The child was dressed just fine but mom had on clogs that looked like slippers and som nasty looking old pajama pants. What a world.

Posted by: Tuna at December 14, 2025 02:16 PM (lJ0H4)

30 Long laces: on work and hiking boots, long laces allow the wearer to get extra purchase on them to to pull them really tight, so the boot doesn't slop around on his foot and cause blisters. And the extra laces can be wrapped around the ankle area and tied in front.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 14, 2025 02:17 PM (npFr7)

31
But this is the video I wanted to show you. Here's a man who can Tie Knots and shares his knowledge.

He teaches you how to make a "Sheet Bend" knot so you can large things like a full 4x8 sheet of plywood:

https://is.gd/XWrLfu

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:17 PM (kjnCv)

32 Try my patented MySlippers. Comfortable suede, no laces, gel inserts. Need your help as I'm now running for MN Governor. Promo code MORON.

Posted by: Mike Lindell at December 14, 2025 02:18 PM (oftw2)

33 You could always wear Crocs. ... Ducks , runs away

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 14, 2025 02:19 PM (D+mpw)

34 Laces are too short - you should be able to wrap at least once around the boot before trying into a pretty bow knot.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 14, 2025 02:19 PM (/lPRQ)

35 Cut the laces, put 1 inch of small diameter clear, or black shrink tube on the end, hit it with a lighter or heat gun to shrink it, problem solved.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 14, 2025 02:19 PM (snZF9)

36 I've never seen ceramic tile like that in a bowling alley. Must be upscale.

Posted by: Rizzuto-Berra Bowl at December 14, 2025 02:19 PM (oftw2)

37 Too much trouble to replace the long laces with shorter ones?
Posted by: Tuna

Wait...what?
I don't think that can be done.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

And how would you get the colors to match perfectly?

Posted by: mikeski at December 14, 2025 02:19 PM (nhCoE)

38
Boy Scouts are all fags, now, so no one will be able to tie knots in another generation.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:19 PM (kjnCv)

39 Replace laces with this stuff:

https://tinyurl.com/3ff66vhh

Posted by: RS at December 14, 2025 02:20 PM (SuU/K)

40 Trim the laces, put new aglets on them.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at December 14, 2025 02:20 PM (ynpvh)

41 I'm left wondering about foolish inconsistencies.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 14, 2025 02:21 PM (XeU6L)

42 The only time I had detention in high school, I met a neat girl who wore platform shoes that laced up her calves. Also, hot pants and a halter top. Lovely ginger with luminous skin. Hardly noticed the laces were so long.
Posted by: Depends On The Context

Hopefully, you meant "the first time I had detention."

And she wasn't there the next day.

Posted by: mikeski at December 14, 2025 02:22 PM (nhCoE)

43 Nice choice of tile, contrasts nicely w the shoe without stealing the show. Jaunty camera angle accentuates the craftsmanship of the shoe, while the grout lines draw the viewers eye to the FWP at hand.

Posted by: Heirloominati at December 14, 2025 02:22 PM (euPbd)

44 I cut 'em off with a knife, then seal the ends with a lighter flame.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at December 14, 2025 02:23 PM (Cjt/F)

45 Boy Scouts are all fags, now, so no one will be able to tie knots in another generation.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:19 PM (kjnCv)

From what I've seen all they do these days is sit around and tie knots. No camping, no climbing, no canoeing, or kayaks, or hiking, nada.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 14, 2025 02:23 PM (snZF9)

46 [1:58? A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds]
Posted by CBD at 01:58 PM Comments

And on the other hand, a wise consistency is a steerer of self-control.

Posted by: m at December 14, 2025 02:24 PM (RuTUS)

47 They're only useful if you're tying special knots known only to the Illumiknotty.

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at December 14, 2025 02:24 PM (pIfcn)

48 It is not nice outside windy, snow bowing off trees

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 02:24 PM (Ia/+0)

49 Andy Warhol could’ve turned that pic into a screen print and made millions.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 14, 2025 02:25 PM (6ydKt)

50 shrink tube is good too, specially the kind that has a hot-melt-glue lining.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at December 14, 2025 02:25 PM (Cjt/F)

51 I cut 'em off with a knife, then seal the ends with a lighter flame.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at December 14, 2025 02:23 PM (Cjt/F)

yeah if they're the melty kind, or else you got a slow burning wick. lol

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 14, 2025 02:25 PM (snZF9)

52 And on the other hand, a wise consistency is a steerer of self-control.
Posted by: m at December 14, 2025 02:24 PM (RuTUS)

Is the "steerer" the one that cuts their nuts off?

Posted by: Kindltot at December 14, 2025 02:26 PM (rbvCR)

53 52 And on the other hand, a wise consistency is a steerer of self-control.
Posted by: m at December 14, 2025 02:24 PM (RuTUS)

Is the "steerer" the one that cuts their nuts off?
Posted by: Kindltot at December 14, 2025 02:26 PM (rbvCR)

Those would be "de-steerers."

Posted by: m at December 14, 2025 02:27 PM (RuTUS)

54 autocucumber deserves an FWP thread all to itself

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at December 14, 2025 02:27 PM (Cjt/F)

55 With hockey skates forever I'd have long laces and just wrap the extra around the achilles guard on the back of the boot before tying off. Now I get shorter laces.

Same with these nice Keen boots I use. Switched to shorter laces, no wrap-arounds.

With hockey skates question remains of waxed/unwaxed laces. Waxed will lock up nicely, preventing loosening during skating, but if you over-tighten they'll get uncomfortable.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 14, 2025 02:27 PM (U/Byj)

56
From what I've seen all they do these days is sit around and tie knots. No camping, no climbing, no canoeing, or kayaks, or hiking, nada.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 14, 2025 02:23 PM (snZF9)

As a former Boy Scout I find all this depressing.

Posted by: Cow Demon at December 14, 2025 02:28 PM (4786I)

57 FWP - starting chili on a 26 degree morning only to realize you are out of half the stuff needed. 😡

Posted by: rickb223 at December 14, 2025 02:28 PM (QVuuq)

58 FWP - starting chili on a 26 degree morning only to realize you are out of half the stuff needed. 😡
Posted by: rickb223 at December 14, 2025 02:28 PM (QVuuq)

If you have beans, carrots and cumin you are golden.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 14, 2025 02:29 PM (rbvCR)

59 Boy Scouts are all fags, now, so no one will be able to tie knots in another generation.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts

From what I've seen all they do these days is sit around and tie knots. No camping, no climbing, no canoeing, or kayaks, or hiking, nada.
Posted by: Berserker

And just forget about earning a 'Stalking' Merit Badge these days!!

Posted by: Tonypete at December 14, 2025 02:29 PM (cYBz/)

60 Don't have a heat gun so maybe I'll try the torch lighter thing next time the ends of the hockey laces unravel. The laces will have 50% of their life left when this usually happens, so it's annoying.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 14, 2025 02:29 PM (U/Byj)

61 " ... or else you got a slow burning wick. lol"

perfect for a matchlock or old style cannon!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at December 14, 2025 02:29 PM (Cjt/F)

62 It's a budget move. Instead of producing a wealth of different sized laces to accommodate some professional hiking lace techniques like "heel-lock" lacing rather than the usual pedestrian type lacing, they settled on a one size fits all. And, I can't fault them for that. Your "one size fits all" is going to be extra long to satisfy everyone.

BTW, do you own a scissors? And, do you have $6? You can get an aglet applicator with a wealth of choices from Walmart.

Posted by: Orson at December 14, 2025 02:32 PM (dIske)

63 Well, if they are true 550 para, then it just might save your life, padawan. Also, you need to hide 3 knives in your butt.

Posted by: weft cut loop at December 14, 2025 02:32 PM (mlg/3)

64 Nice shoes, CBD. How long did the doctor say you had to wear those?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 14, 2025 02:32 PM (2UnvF)

65 FWP

I can't find a Solitaire app I like for the new phone

all is lost...

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2025 02:34 PM (ZxPkt)

66 Nah, those are bowling alley rental shoes

Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2025 02:34 PM (ZxPkt)

67 How long did the doctor say you had to wear those?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 14, 2025 02:32 PM (2UnvF)

Hah!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 14, 2025 02:35 PM (n9ltV)

68 25 degrees out, and I'm inside now

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 02:35 PM (Ia/+0)

69 FWP - starting chili on a 26 degree morning only to realize you are out of half the stuff needed. 😡
Posted by: rickb223 at December 14, 2025 02:28 PM (QVuuq)

What does the outside temp have to do with it?

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 14, 2025 02:35 PM (udlma)

70 I can't find a Solitaire app I like for the new phone

all is lost...
Posted by: Don Black at December 14, 2025 02:34 PM (ZxPkt)

Fate is telling you to play Snake and like it.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 14, 2025 02:36 PM (rbvCR)

71 According to CAP CHARLES, it's a legacy of military footware. Overly long laces can be useful sometimes in the field.

Posted by: exdem13 at December 14, 2025 02:36 PM (XjTSo)

72 64 Nice shoes, CBD. How long did the doctor say you had to wear those?
Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 14, 2025 02:32 PM

LOL
Winner!

Posted by: Heirloominati, needed that belly laugh at December 14, 2025 02:36 PM (euPbd)

73 Here's the thing about shoelaces. Just when you need them most, they fail.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 14, 2025 02:36 PM (2WIwB)

74 I have to go out an hang chicken wire on the back fence so the neighbors' chickens stop coming into my yard.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 14, 2025 02:37 PM (rbvCR)

75 From what I've seen all they do these days is sit around and tie knots. No camping, no climbing, no canoeing, or kayaks, or hiking, nada.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 14, 2025 02:23 PM (snZF9)

All that stuff is toxic masculinity. Sitting down, docile, is what the left wants men to become.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 14, 2025 02:37 PM (udlma)

76 Nice choice of tile, contrasts nicely w the shoe without stealing the show.

Posted by: Heirloominati at December 14, 2025 02:22 PM (euPbd)

Ah yes! Mud colored...for the mud room!

I think it took us three minutes to choose.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 14, 2025 02:38 PM (n9ltV)

77 Well, outside temperature has shot up, shot up, I say, to above freezing, so I shall go outside and do stuff, and not freeze my azz off.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 14, 2025 02:39 PM (npFr7)

78 I think it took us three minutes to choose.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

That's a long grunt.

Posted by: weft cut loop at December 14, 2025 02:40 PM (mlg/3)

79 What does the outside temp have to do with it?
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald

Not wanting to get out in freezing weather.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 14, 2025 02:41 PM (QVuuq)

80 Wider feet require would barely allow enough lace left to tie. This person has skinny, skinny feet.

Posted by: Victoria at December 14, 2025 02:41 PM (GG1Wm)

81
Too much trouble to replace the long laces with shorter ones?
Posted by: Tuna at December 14, 2025 02:01 PM (lJ0H4)

________

*violently jabs shoebox with finger*

Read it!! "Changing Laces Voids Warranty."

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 14, 2025 02:42 PM (tgvbd)

82 Twisted X slip ons.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 14, 2025 02:42 PM (sDNVV)

83 * sniff.

Posted by: The Cobbler kid at December 14, 2025 02:43 PM (VF6cf)

84 68 25 degrees out, and I'm inside now
---------
It's 11 here, but the current wind chill makes it a breezy -2! Not going anywhere today!

Posted by: exdem13 at December 14, 2025 02:43 PM (XjTSo)

85 Here's the thing about shoelaces. Just when you need them most, they fail.
Posted by: Diogenes
------
Generaly accompanied by a vulgar expletive.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 14, 2025 02:44 PM (XeU6L)

86 77 Well, outside temperature has shot up, shot up, I say, to above freezing, so I shall go outside and do stuff, and not freeze my azz off.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

That's 'cuz you sent the Frozen Clipper South and East to us!

Posted by: Shiver Me Timbers! at December 14, 2025 02:44 PM (oftw2)

87
Ah yes! Mud colored...for the mud room!

________

Schloss Hadrian has an excellent arrangement. Mud room (with the washer and dryer) off the garage, bathroom with shower just off the mud room.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 14, 2025 02:45 PM (tgvbd)

88 Look like bowling shoes.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at December 14, 2025 02:45 PM (LjSYW)

89 People with wide feet should have to wear the shoe boxes.

Posted by: For Equity at December 14, 2025 02:46 PM (oftw2)

90 Does anyone use leather laces anymore? The kind you used to find on white soled, brown boat shoes.

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 14, 2025 02:47 PM (mT+6a)

91 So you're saying, "Dash my laces!"?

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at December 14, 2025 02:48 PM (DsA2n)

92 Despite it being ass-biting cold here at Little Oaxaca on the Miami, Smoke the cat went out for 3 hours earlier this morning. He's a true outdoors cat! Then he came in & complained because he could see the bottom of his food dish, like a proper cat would.

Posted by: exdem13 at December 14, 2025 02:48 PM (XjTSo)

93 Wider feet require would barely allow enough lace left to tie. This person has skinny, skinny feet.
Posted by: Victoria
-------

We have analyzed the photo, and ID'd this person's shoe size, and, extrapolated that to height/weight/ ~~sex~~ gender.

Posted by: Bob, at the NSA at December 14, 2025 02:49 PM (XeU6L)

94 90 Does anyone use leather laces anymore? The kind you used to find on white soled, brown boat shoes.
----------
I have leather laces, but only for my moccasin house shoes (which Smoke uses as toys) or my Rennie shoes & boots.

Posted by: exdem13 at December 14, 2025 02:49 PM (XjTSo)

95
I would love to have a Washer & Dryer in the garage. And a Washer & Dryer in the Master Bedroom. And a Washer & Dryer in laundry room.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:50 PM (kjnCv)

96 Looking forward to another great week of news about our Trump economy !

Posted by: Aliassmithsmith at December 14, 2025 02:51 PM (eoWeL)

97
That's 'cuz you sent the Frozen Clipper South and East to us!
Posted by: Shiver Me Timbers
--------

Just hope that he remembers to close the door behind him when he heads south.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 14, 2025 02:51 PM (XeU6L)

98 I thought the FWP was going to be that you don't know how to tie your shoelaces.

Posted by: bluebell at December 14, 2025 02:51 PM (79pEw)

99
My grandma had a Full Kitchen in the Basement. And the Living Room? Totally off-limits. Yes, covered with plastic, too.

The Ginzos here know what I'm talking about.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:52 PM (kjnCv)

100 Running shoe laces nowadays take on a tiny permanent stretch each time you lace them tight. I have to buy replacement shorter laces after a couple months for my running/walking shoes. Or I end-up with huge floppy loops and long ends that I can hardly keep from hitting the ground each step, long before I wear out the shoes! ( I replace them after 4-5 months; keeps me from having arch problems.)

I do not recall having this lace-stretching problem until 5 or so years ago. Intolerable cost-cutting BS if you ask me. Damned FWP, for damn sure!

Posted by: Gref at December 14, 2025 02:52 PM (5rh/l)

101 Hi bluebell!

Thank you!

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 14, 2025 02:52 PM (mT+6a)

102 I would love to have a Washer & Dryer in the garage. And a Washer & Dryer in the Master Bedroom. And a Washer & Dryer in laundry room.
Posted by: Soothsayer
--------

I want an all-tile bathroom that can be pressure washed.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 14, 2025 02:52 PM (XeU6L)

103 Velcro?
+++

Nurse: Hello, Mr. Seinfeld.

Morty Seinfeld: I thought you forgot about me.

Nurse: We didn't forget. [pulls apart blood pressure cuff]

Morty Seinfeld: Ah! It's Velcro. I can't stand Velcro. It's that tearing sound. I used to be in raincoats. I refused to put that in any of my lines.

Posted by: Obligatory Seinfeld reference at December 14, 2025 02:54 PM (2Ez/1)

104 Yes, autocorrect would be a good subject for FWP

I just got one today "Prayers for bothering and T."

Bothering ? I didn't ask the person what "bothering" was supposed to be.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 14, 2025 02:54 PM (rZCVI)

105 From what I've seen all they do these days is sit around and tie knots. No camping, no climbing, no canoeing, or kayaks, or hiking, nada.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division

My grandsons' troops do the camping, climbing, canoeing and hiking to the max. I think it depends on the leader.

Posted by: Tuna at December 14, 2025 02:54 PM (lJ0H4)

106
Yeah, all the major cooking would be done in the downstairs kitchen in Gramma's house, and the upstairs kitchen would be in Showroom condition.

Damn, I can still smell that house if I think about it...

It smelled like Love and macaroni and "gravy" (red sauce) chicken and rice and baklava.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:55 PM (kjnCv)

107 Running shoe laces nowadays take on a tiny permanent stretch each time you lace them tight. I have to buy replacement shorter laces after a couple months for my running/walking shoes. Or I end-up with huge floppy loops and long ends that I can hardly keep from hitting the ground each step, long before I wear out the shoes! ( I replace them after 4-5 months; keeps me from having arch problems.)

I do not recall having this lace-stretching problem until 5 or so years ago. Intolerable cost-cutting BS if you ask me. Damned FWP, for damn sure!
Posted by: Gref

Cut the excess length off and make your own aglets with shrink tubing.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 14, 2025 02:55 PM (QVuuq)

108 Better than too short laces, like the ones on my newish Skechers. No, I didn't buy new ones yet, because I so rarely leave the house in these post-Covid days.

Posted by: jocon307 at December 14, 2025 02:56 PM (EuROc)

109 You know, we should have self-cleaning toilets by now. And showers that don't collect that weird film. Where the hell are you Toto?

Posted by: weft cut loop at December 14, 2025 02:56 PM (mlg/3)

110 So you can smuggle suicide nooses into prison, duh!!!

Posted by: Adriane the Lack of Vacuum Critic. . . at December 14, 2025 02:56 PM (4ZgcQ)

111
I want an all-tile bathroom that can be pressure washed.
Posted by: Mike Hammer

Oh yeah, with industrial drains in the floor!

Didn't we discuss this before?
We decided on STAINLESS STEEL.

The whole entire house...Stainless Steel. That's my dream house.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:56 PM (kjnCv)

112
In a headline on Daily Mail, Underprepared police.

UNDERPREPARED?

You're the police! Being underprepared is not acceptable.

Posted by: fourseasons at December 14, 2025 02:58 PM (3ek7K)

113 Hi bluebell!

Thank you!
Posted by: nurse ratched at December 14, 2025 02:52 PM (mT+6a)
----------

😊

Posted by: bluebell at December 14, 2025 02:58 PM (79pEw)

114
He wears tan shoes with pink shoelaces
A polka dot vest and man, oh, man
Tan shoes with pink shoelaces
And a big Panama with a purple hat band

Posted by: Dodie Stevens at December 14, 2025 02:58 PM (2Ez/1)

115 I rented an Airbnb in Hawaii that had washer and dryer outdoors. Which was kinda weird at first to see. But makes sense. It never gets cold enough to worry about lines freezing and eliminated the need for a dedicated laundry room. Plus if there’s ever a pipe leak or something, whatever it’s outdoors.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 14, 2025 02:59 PM (udlma)

116 Didn't we discuss this before?
We decided on STAINLESS STEEL.

The whole entire house...Stainless Steel. That's my dream house.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:56 PM (kjnCv)
---
Careful...that's how you get stainless steel rats...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 14, 2025 03:00 PM (ESVrU)

117 In a headline on Daily Mail, Underprepared police.

UNDERPREPARED?

You're the police! Being underprepared is not acceptable.

Posted by: fourseasons
------------

Defunding is the answer!

Posted by: Left/Liberal/Progressives/Dems at December 14, 2025 03:01 PM (XeU6L)

118 Metal aglets of all sizes are widely available at low prices. You can slice the laces at the desired length, and affix new aglets to the frayed ends.

Posted by: Sartorial Facts at December 14, 2025 03:01 PM (BI5O2)

119 Cognac was made for these kind of days
Warms the body and soul

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 03:01 PM (Ia/+0)

120 I rented an Airbnb in Hawaii that had washer and dryer outdoors. Which was kinda weird at first to see. But makes sense.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald

My apartment in Japan had a tiny washer on the balcony. It looked like a plastic toy washer you'd buy for your daughter. Had to hang dry everything above it.

Posted by: weft cut loop at December 14, 2025 03:01 PM (mlg/3)

121 111
I want an all-tile bathroom that can be pressure washed.
Posted by: Mike Hammer

Oh yeah, with industrial drains in the floor!

Didn't we discuss this before?
We decided on STAINLESS STEEL.

The whole entire house...Stainless Steel. That's my dream house.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:56 PM (kjnCv)

Inside layer of stainless steel, outside layer of stainless steel. Live inside a Faraday cage...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at December 14, 2025 03:02 PM (ynpvh)

122 Mossad says they warned the Aussies about a potential attack. So underprepared is that much worse.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 14, 2025 03:02 PM (udlma)

123 You can get elastic drawstring laces on Amazon (lock laces, I think we're the brand name for the one I got.) Fantastic- especially for boots.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 14, 2025 03:02 PM (zZu0s)

124 118 Metal aglets of all sizes are widely available at low prices. You can slice the laces at the desired length, and affix new aglets to the frayed ends.

Posted by: Sartorial Facts at December 14, 2025 03:01 PM (BI5O2)

If he wanted to he could roughly cut each one, tie up each end so they never come out of the shoes again. Is it any good? Naw, frayed knot.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at December 14, 2025 03:03 PM (ynpvh)

125 Idiot could not even flip a coin correctly at the army navy game

Posted by: Aliassmithsmith at December 14, 2025 03:03 PM (1iTdO)

126 Metal aglets of all sizes are widely available at low prices. You can slice the laces at the desired length, and affix new aglets to the frayed ends.
Posted by: Sartorial Facts
----

Ah!
[adds 'aglet-crimper' to tool wish list]

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 14, 2025 03:03 PM (XeU6L)

127 What are those, clown shoes?

Gay clown shoes?
Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:03 PM (kjnCv)

He stole them from a Nike store in Gay Paree during a riot by urban yutes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 14, 2025 03:04 PM (zZu0s)

128 lock laces, I think we're the brand name for the one I got."

They're pretty good. The locks can fit most laces...

Posted by: man at December 14, 2025 03:04 PM (XuXeR)

129
Hey, jim, for your surgery tomorrow,

We're all pulling for you:

https://is.gd/UNQe9u

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 03:04 PM (kjnCv)

130 129
Hey, jim, for your surgery tomorrow,

We're all pulling for you:

https://is.gd/UNQe9u

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 03:04 PM (kjnCv)

Thanks! The prep (purge) starts soon, already had my liquid lunch in prep.
Things should go well as long as there's enough intestine for each end to meet...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at December 14, 2025 03:06 PM (ynpvh)

131 "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

Reading this quote today made me just realize that people with OCD have been around for a LONG time.

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at December 14, 2025 03:07 PM (HlyYF)

132 It’s an op. Get some help.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at December 14, 2025 03:07 PM (XDjhC)

133 My apartment in Japan had a tiny washer on the balcony. It looked like a plastic toy washer you'd buy for your daughter. Had to hang dry everything above it.
Posted by: weft cut loop

Hand operated washing machine. You can also use it to make minute rice.

https://tinyurl.com/57w9dmdn

Posted by: rickb223 at December 14, 2025 03:07 PM (QVuuq)

134 131 "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

Reading this quote today made me just realize that people with OCD have been around for a LONG time.

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at December 14, 2025 03:07 PM (HlyYF)

I'm down with OCD,
Yeah, you know me...

Posted by: Naughty by Nature at December 14, 2025 03:08 PM (ynpvh)

135 Shoes and laces.
1. There are no bridges in the Navy.
2. Laces go right over left on right shoe.
Laces go left over right on left shoe.
- how it was in 68

Posted by: Eromero at December 14, 2025 03:08 PM (fHsz8)

136 Another one you could do is wind the laces around your ankles after doing the crossover but before tying the knot.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 14, 2025 03:09 PM (zZu0s)

137 133 My apartment in Japan had a tiny washer on the balcony. It looked like a plastic toy washer you'd buy for your daughter. Had to hang dry everything above it.
Posted by: weft cut loop

Hand operated washing machine. You can also use it to make minute rice.

https://tinyurl.com/57w9dmdn

Posted by: rickb223 at December 14, 2025 03:07 PM (QVuuq)

Washing clothes the hard way, one piece at a time...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at December 14, 2025 03:09 PM (ynpvh)

138 wind the laces around your ankles after doing the crossover but before tying the knot."

Sounds like a kinky wedding...

Posted by: man at December 14, 2025 03:10 PM (XuXeR)

139 Aetius451AD, my husband has some elastic no-tie laces (Xpand) that he loves as well.

Posted by: Art Rondelet of Malmsey at December 14, 2025 03:12 PM (FEVMW)

140 Another one you could do is wind the laces around your ankles after doing the crossover but before tying the knot.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

And leather boots are still in style for manly footwear
Beads and Roman sandals won't be seen

Posted by: rickb223 at December 14, 2025 03:13 PM (QVuuq)

141 I recently got a pair of shoes that have elastic laces, knotted on each end, so you don't tie them. I cannot tolerate them, as I have a high arch and don't like shoes to even approach squeezing my feet from any direction.

The FWP is that those elastic laces were almost perfectly color-matched. And the color is a distinct shade of brown, and I'm unable to find a lace that is an acceptable color.

Maybe I'll just have to go wild, and put in some green ones or some such.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at December 14, 2025 03:15 PM (h7ZuX)

142 Didn't we discuss this before?
We decided on STAINLESS STEEL.

The whole entire house...Stainless Steel. That's my dream house.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:56 PM (kjnCv)

Ah, yes. The "Autopsy theater" vibe. Don't forget the drains in the floor.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 14, 2025 03:15 PM (rbvCR)

143 Thinking of a nap

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 03:15 PM (Ia/+0)

144 And, in a moment of insight, the significance of "straitlaced", finally settles on me.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 14, 2025 03:15 PM (XeU6L)

145 I want an all-tile bathroom that can be pressure washed.
Posted by: Mike Hammer

Oh yeah, with industrial drains in the floor!

Didn't we discuss this before?
We decided on STAINLESS STEEL.

The whole entire house...Stainless Steel. That's my dream house.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 02:56 PM (kjnCv)

How soon they forget my Dymaxion bathroom!

Posted by: zombie Buckminster Fuller at December 14, 2025 03:15 PM (npFr7)

146 I like long hiking boot laces so I can double knot them.

Posted by: banana Dream at December 14, 2025 03:16 PM (3uBP9)

147 Where is the physical store, convenient to you, where you can buy all the types and colors of shoe laces, in the various shapes (round, oval, flat), tips, patterns, you would need to re-lace your shoes?

It ain't Walmart. Nor Target. Nor a discount box like DSW. It ain't anywhere near me, and I'm in a big rich metro area, Bentleys in the parking lots.

I re-laced a couple pairs of shoes recently, took out the old, measured, and got exactly what I wanted on Amazon.

Posted by: M. Gaga at December 14, 2025 03:17 PM (KiBMU)

148 Wait, did you not put both laces through the loop in the tongue? SHAME! SHAAAAAAME!

Posted by: banana Dream at December 14, 2025 03:19 PM (3uBP9)

149
How soon they forget my Dymaxion bathroom!
Posted by: zombie Buckminster Fuller

Holy obscure reference, Batman!

You forget where you are.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 03:19 PM (kjnCv)

150 You've gotta use a sheepshank.

Posted by: Jane at December 14, 2025 03:21 PM (iRNEC)

151 My feet are skinny, but long, with no humpy instep. Same FWP as CBD. My son and I were riding bikes in Kitty Hawk and had to cross NC12, six lanes wide in that location. So we're scooting across, and felt my shoe lace get caught up in the pedal, couldn't stop and with a one-speed coaster brake, you can't pedal backward to loosen it.
On the other side, I'm sitting there with my foot being strangled, too tight to get the shoe off. Neither one of us had a knife, but a passerby did and I had to slice it off.

Posted by: Profiles In Courage at December 14, 2025 03:21 PM (oftw2)

152 107 Running shoe laces nowadays take on a tiny permanent stretch each time you lace them tight. I have to buy replacement shorter laces after a couple months for my running/walking shoes. Or I end-up with huge floppy loops and long ends that I can hardly keep from hitting the ground each step, long before I wear out the shoes! ( I replace them after 4-5 months; keeps me from having arch problems.)

I do not recall having this lace-stretching problem until 5 or so years ago. Intolerable cost-cutting BS if you ask me. Damned FWP, for damn sure!
Posted by: Gref

Cut the excess length off and make your own aglets with shrink tubing.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 14, 2025 02:55 PM (QVuuq)

Perform work?????

Posted by: Gref at December 14, 2025 03:22 PM (5rh/l)

153 That shoe looked like a dead roach on this phone

Posted by: gKWVE at December 14, 2025 03:22 PM (jDwjk)

154 As others have pointed out, you're supposed to wrap them around the back of the shoe (there should be a loop back there on hiking-style boots).

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at December 14, 2025 03:23 PM (XMwZJ)

155 You've gotta use a sheepshank.
Posted by: Jane at December 14, 2025 03:21 PM (iRNEC)

Jane, best not use the s word with bluebell around…

Posted by: RI Red at December 14, 2025 03:25 PM (bnOop)

156 I want an all-tile bathroom that can be pressure washed.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc.

FlexSeal the whole thing, except for the actual plumbing fixtures.

Posted by: mikeski at December 14, 2025 03:26 PM (nhCoE)

157 You've gotta use a sheepshank"

That you, Hooper?

Posted by: man at December 14, 2025 03:27 PM (XuXeR)

158 91 So you're saying, "Dash my laces!"?
Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at December 14, 2025 02:48 PM (DsA2n)

Ha! Thumbs up!

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at December 14, 2025 03:27 PM (h7ZuX)

159 I bought a pair of shoes that had two different length laces. The left shoe was about 18" whereas the right one was 26". Bugged the crap out of me. So I bought two the same length and re-laced them.

Re-lacing, and getting them even, is an talent that I do not have.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 14, 2025 03:28 PM (NwnyJ)

160 ßeeing another video of Bondi shooting, at Legalinsurrection.com video just looking down the bridge, one Gunman leaves the bridge. A different video of his actions he gets disarmed by a bystander who then fires shots at him.
After returning to bridge goes down for good. So either bystander hits him on way back or at bridge or other return fire hits #1 then later #2 Gunman.

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 03:29 PM (Ia/+0)

161 Maybe your feet are too skinny.

Posted by: IrishEi at December 14, 2025 03:31 PM (3ImbR)

162 I see a video from nux on the Australia thing.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 14, 2025 03:31 PM (zZu0s)

163 Maybe your feet are too skinny.
Posted by: IrishEi at December 14, 2025 03:31 PM (3ImbR)

I have the opposite problem. Fairly short feet but need the widest width I can fine.

Some 'wide' widths, aren't.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 14, 2025 03:32 PM (zZu0s)

164 Re leather laces. I still use them on Sperry Topsiders.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 14, 2025 03:33 PM (XeU6L)

165 Those laces are extra fat hiking laces. Yes, you're supposed to double knot them, they won't stay tied otherwise.

Posted by: Sshdft at December 14, 2025 03:34 PM (A9R2x)

166
ßeeing another video of Bondi shooting..
Posted by: Skip

How did you manage the fancy "B?"

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 03:36 PM (kjnCv)

167 Bondi shooting. I've been trying to ID the weapons from the video(s). Any thoughts?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 14, 2025 03:36 PM (XeU6L)

168 Hete is a 1WP, Legalinsurrection.com Sundowner's library donations have dried up
Guess that Biden name isn't worth a nickle now

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 03:38 PM (Ia/+0)

169 The guy at the shoestore says I have a high instep and to lace my shoes in this unusual way that does fit better, but creates loops that use up long shoelaces.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at December 14, 2025 03:39 PM (9ipOP)

170 The guy at the shoestore says I have a high instep and to lace my shoes in this unusual way that does fit better, but creates loops that use up long shoelaces.
Posted by: San Franpsycho
---------

Now, if we just had those foot x-ray machines, this would be easier.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 14, 2025 03:41 PM (XeU6L)

171 Read AKs but #2 Gunman who stays on bridge looks to have a shotgun, drops it, goes to far side of bridge while firing a long rifle with scope then returns to dropped weapon. From muzzle flash and smoke I think looks to be a shotgun

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 03:41 PM (Ia/+0)

172
lol

Here's the future best president of the United States in a Drew Carey Show episode 30 years ago:

https://is.gd/df8Bvx

Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 03:44 PM (kjnCv)

173 I guess CBD Oil asks questions and walks away. I feel like a dumbass for playing along. Typical.

Posted by: Sshdft at December 14, 2025 03:45 PM (A9R2x)

174 Shoes?

You have shoes?!

Luxury!

Posted by: Weasel at December 14, 2025 03:46 PM (+1HQm)

175 How did you manage the fancy "B?"
Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 03:36 PM

All it takes is a ßasic understanding of the AoSHQ Style Guide.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 14, 2025 03:51 PM (0sNs1)

176 Shoes?

You have shoes?!

Luxury!
Posted by: Weasel at December 14, 2025 03:46 PM (+1HQm)

Barefoot and pregnant- thats Weasel.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 14, 2025 03:51 PM (zZu0s)

177 Finally a bystander takes one of these mother fuckers out

Posted by: Javems at December 14, 2025 03:51 PM (8I4hW)

178 That's an s set.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 14, 2025 03:51 PM (zZu0s)

179 If #1 Gunman was killed bystander might be charged in Australia
Who knows?

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 03:53 PM (Ia/+0)

180 Well-fitting shoes are very helpful in avoiding wobbly ~~sh*t~~ stance.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 14, 2025 03:53 PM (0sNs1)

181 if you've ever failed at starting a fire by rubbing two sticks together you'd understand their importance ; )

Posted by: uglykidmoe at December 14, 2025 03:55 PM (D004a)

182 Buy some Red Wing boots with the metal hooks for the laces to go back-and-forth before tying. Problem solved! Plus, you'll look useful.

Speaking of which, one of my brothers has been buying items for his church's "giving tree". Lots of requests for unisex coats. He kept looking around and couldn't find them. A helpful employee told him the young people don't want regular coats anymore.

They want Carhartts.

Now I'm picturing fashionistas wearing an ensemble of Carhartt jacket, pijamas, and crocs.

Posted by: NaughtyPine at December 14, 2025 03:55 PM (TMIFi)

183 For more information on why Weasel abjures wobbly sh*t, tune in to the Gub Thread, hosted every Sunday evening right here on AoSHQ.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 14, 2025 03:56 PM (0sNs1)

184 " A different video of his actions he gets disarmed by a bystander who then fires shots at him.
After returning to bridge goes down for good. So either bystander hits him on way back or at bridge or other return fire hits #1 then later #2 Gunman."

The guy that disarmed one gunman was shot twice, but seemed stable. I think the guy on the bridge shot when he saw his partner in trouble.

And the Brown shooter apparently came from Wisconsin.

Posted by: illiniwek at December 14, 2025 03:56 PM (vbXSk)

185 ßßßßß

Posted by: NannyNannyBooBoo at December 14, 2025 03:56 PM (2Ez/1)

186 Who knows?
Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 03:53 PM (Ia/+0)

True that.

Posted by: Javems at December 14, 2025 03:56 PM (8I4hW)

187 Duluth Trading >>>> Carhartts

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 14, 2025 03:57 PM (0sNs1)

188 I don't know this account, but Instapundit reposted this post:

@DigitalGalX
2h
🚨 BREAKING: In a rare development, the White House has lifted a “lid” and ordered reporters to return immediately.

This move comes amid growing reports that the President may deliver an “address to the nation.

Posted by: m at December 14, 2025 03:59 PM (RuTUS)

189 Recently bought a long sleeve pocket Henley from Duluth Trading. Love the weight of the fabric and the long tail.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at December 14, 2025 03:59 PM (2Ez/1)

190 The Carharttbi bought this last time for a heavy coat is an 'Extremes' (with a weird thing on the x.) Really warm for the weight. Although today (12 out there) I wish I had gone with a thigh length instead of jacket length.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 14, 2025 04:00 PM (zZu0s)

191 ßɮΒβВБḂḆḄ

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 14, 2025 04:00 PM (0sNs1)

192 FOOD NOOD

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 04:01 PM (Ia/+0)

193 I've heard a rumor that knowledge and demonstration of the Style Guide is going to be more heavily-weighted in this year's Annual Commenter Review scoring.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 14, 2025 04:02 PM (0sNs1)

194 Duncanthrax wrote Nood in Dwarven Rhuns
Very clever

Posted by: Skip at December 14, 2025 04:02 PM (Ia/+0)

195 Duluth Trading >>>> Carhartts
Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 14, 2025 03:57 PM (0sNs1)

Yes.

Also...

Stormy Kromer >> LL Bean caps

My well-worn Red Wing boots >> the new Timberland crap

Posted by: NaughtyPine at December 14, 2025 04:04 PM (TMIFi)

196 The extra-long laces can be used to blouse the trousers, as a tick preventive.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at December 14, 2025 04:29 PM (bufu1)

197 What I shall not stand for is the boot with two upper hooks for the laces that don't fucking hook! Fire those boot engineers!

Get with the program.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 14, 2025 04:58 PM (1zOXE)

198 lol

Here's the future best president of the United States in a Drew Carey Show episode 30 years ago:

https://is.gd/df8Bvx
Posted by: Soothsayer's Historical Facts at December 14, 2025 03:44 PM (kjnCv)

That's great! I have many of those episodes on tape. One of my favorite shows from that time period.

Posted by: thatcrazyjerseyguy at December 14, 2025 06:15 PM (5xuJ/)

199 Or you could trim the ends of the shoelaces and use cello tape to make new aglets.

Posted by: clams on the half shell and roller skates, roller skates at December 14, 2025 06:22 PM (kvDvI)

200 I haven't tried this but:

Cut off the ends of the too-long laces to your specs.

Apply super glue to cut ends and let dry.

VOY-la!! Shortened and with sturdy tips!

Posted by: noam sayen at December 14, 2025 06:29 PM (dcqhI)

201 > Cut off the ends of the too-long laces to your specs.
> Apply super glue to cut ends and let dry.

It also helps to use a Bic and singe the frayed ends. Then, voy-VOY-la! Perfect.

Posted by: DrSandman at December 14, 2025 06:32 PM (iYQr2)

202 They're long because the boots don't fit you retard. Your boot is way too wide for your foot. The toe eyelets are almost touching. Get a narrower boot.

Posted by: Miken at December 14, 2025 07:25 PM (lJkMy)

203 Late to the show but I have to admit that I tie my shoes every game to be precisely right. I try to not OCD but maybe here I am. But I've never had my shoelaces come undone during a match!

Posted by: NC Ref at December 14, 2025 08:04 PM (HIRLq)

204 It is clear that you should take the remaining shuttle from the Nostromo, take off, and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure that your stupid sneaker laces are not too long.

Alternatives:

1. Cut 'em off and flame polish the ends with a lighter.

2. Wear boots like a real man.

Posted by: Ib1netmon at December 14, 2025 08:58 PM (vTTFR)

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