Saturday Evening Movie Thread

Saturday Evening Movie Thread - 12/13/2025

Promised but Never Delivered

Movie studios have been trying to build franchises out of almost every major special effects spectacle since the 80s. It's the Star Wars and Indiana Jones influence. One film's box office gold is supposed to lead to another and another until everything just runs out of gas. And so, Hollywood is littered with purported starts to franchises that failed to go past the first entry. The Rocketeer, Lost in Space, The Dark Tower, they all ended with promises of further adventures that never came to be.

However, there are two over the past roughly fifteen years that hold special places in my heart, a pair of films so different from each other that are both considered huge box office bombs (one, the largest ever for a time) that I still yearn for sequels to. Now, just to make this clear...I do not think these sequels will ever materialize. One may...have a 1% chance of happening if lightning strikes the same spot fifteen times in a row, but otherwise, no. I don’t think these sequels will ever get made. The franchises are dead, and they will probably never be resurrected.

Those are: John Carter and King Arthur: Legend of the Sword. Both were big, wildly expensive spectacles based on tales old before any of the creatives were born. The first, based on the first of the Barsoom novels, A Princess of Mars, by Edgar Rice Burroughs, and the second a mishmash (let's be honest, every telling of King Arthur is a mishmash) of Arthurian legends. And I just...jive with them. I kind of love the former, and I really like the latter, and I've seen far worse films get sequels.

Box Office Failure

Let's get this out of the way: the tale of two studios spending way too much money on movies that they shouldn’t have spent too much on.

John Carter was the first live action feature film directed by Andrew Stanton, the PIXAR director who made Finding Nemo and WALL-E. Disney wanted a franchise to compete with the likes of Star Wars, so they gave Stanton, trusted creative, carte blanche to make a wildly expensive sci-fi adventure based on the granddaddy of sci-fi adventures. But...everything went wrong.

Stanton, with no experience in live-action films, essentially filmed the movie twice, making the film wildly, wildly expensive when it should have just had one wildly, at most. Months before the release of the film, Disney acquired the Marvel rights and were already talking to George Lucas about buying Star Wars, so the need for a boys’ adventure sci-fi series died out (and then they put Kathleen Kennedy in charge, which is another thing altogether). Stanton was given control of the marketing, and he approved some of the worst trailers for the film, selling the movie as some sort of somber experience without any real build up within the trailers themselves. Taylor Kitsch's miscasting (I think he’s...fine in the role, but he doesn't have the easy charm John Carter probably should have) became a central reason for critics to crap all over the film. And then the film is based on the granddaddy of sci-fi pulp, the kind of old story that has DNA is most modern sci-fi and fantasy today, making it decidedly old fashioned and feeling derivative.

Honestly, it doesn't surprise me that it was a box office bomb, but I fought the idea for weeks after its release, hoping against hope that there would be some great resurgence of interest in the property several weeks after release and everyone knowing it was a giant failure. My hopes were not answered.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword is a contrasting tale of failure, though, starting with the fact that the trailers for the film are actually really good. I think they sell it well, making it look exciting and fun without any sort of misdirection towards the audience. Guy Ritchie, the director, had a history of bringing his hyperactive style to historically set films in his two Robert Downey Jr. starring Sherlock Holmes films, a connection which the trailers promote. And, it failed to make its production budget back, sources saying that Warner Bros. Lost $150 million on the movie. That's a lot of money, so the planned six film series was canceled after only one.

I think the explanation for King Arthur’s failure largely stems from the fact that mass audiences don't seem that interested in medieval fantasy films. There is one major exception in The Lord of the Rings (and The Hobbit), but medieval fantasy in general just doesn't seem to be a natural fit with mass audiences. They tend to eschew them rather them embrace them. The Chronicles of Narnia films, the first released right alongside The Lord of the Rings, steadily died out after three films. Eragon, based on a popular novel, was a huge bomb. Solomon Kane, based on the Robert E. Howard character, made no money. You can point back to the 80s and films like Excalibur, but that only made $35 million (a profit for the $11 million film, granted). The 80s were probably the height of the medieval fantasy genre's popularity across the board, and not even Conan the Barbarian hit $100 million (the modern telling, released in 2011, made about $60 million off of a $90 million budget).

I mean, I really like medieval fantasy. I jive with it. But mass audiences don't seem all that keen on it.

The Future that Never Was

So, what would have been? What if Disney hadn’t been buying Star Wars and had decided to back John Carter completely? What if Stanton had managed his set better and spent half as much money? What if audiences had just decided to give King Arthur a shot? What would we have seen?

Well, the easy one to answer is John Carter's supposed sequels. John Carter follows the basic plot of A Princess of Mars quite closely. There are additions, like the Therns gain a lot more prevalence in this early story than in Burroughs' series, and some specifics around transportation between Earth and Barsoom gets created, but in the larger plot points. It's A Princess of Mars. So, what would the second movie have been? Well, largely The Gods of Mars, the tale of what John Carter does when he returns to Barsoom ten years later. It would tell of the fight against Iss, the self-proclaimed goddess of Mars, the Black Pirates, the Therns, and Zondanga with Carter reconnecting with his friend Tars Tarkas, his wife Dejah Thoris, and meeting his son, Cathoris, as recklessly brave as his father. And then, the planned sequel would have seen the adaptation of The Warlord of Mars which sees John Carter becoming ruler of the entire planet.

I'm sure Stanton would have kept the basic narrative bones and rearranged a lot of details, but it's not hard to imagine where that series would have gone, and it would have entertained me greatly.

The more interesting question, though, is around King Arthur. As I said, any tale of King Arthur at this point is a mishmash of legend, Romance, and history, so there's no "true" telling of it. Le Morte d’Arthur by Thomas Malory disagrees in many details with Geoffrey of Monmouth's sketches in Historia Regum Britanniae. And it's a tale that’s been told by many, many people over more than a thousand years. Ritchie turning it into a cross between Conan the Barbarian and Ritchie's own low-level gangster movies was a definite creative choice to push Arthur in a new direction, but he also barely scratched the surface of the established tales while adding his own twists.

We only see Merlin once, in a flashback, and we don't even see his face. The character called Mage was originally written as Guinevere, but any mention of her being Arthur's future wife were scrubbed out of the edit and through ADR, so they could still re-introduce her. Morgan le Fay is never even mentioned. There is a character called Mordred in the beginning, killed in the prologue, but that doesn't preclude the introduction in a later edition of the traditional Mordred (Arthur’s son/nephew by way of Morgan le Fay). In terms of the Knights of the Round Table, we only get Bedivere, Percival, and Tristan. So, no Lancelot, no Gawain, and no Galahad (there are dozens more in the legends over the centuries). Really, sequels were wide open.

And the first sequel I would have liked to see might have gone something like this: Merlin and Morgan le Fay are in combat in the north, a war of mages far from Camelot. Lancelot comes from France to challenge the knights at a tourney (being a Guy Ritchie film, there would be bare-knuckle boxing). Lancelot is big, strong, and arrogant, and he is also the only man who could be Arthur’s equal in combat. They bond over beating each other up, but Lancelot has a secret that even he doesn’t know: he’s being manipulated by Morgan le Fay into acting as a distraction. Merlin sends Mage (not Guinevere) to ask for help. The second act is breaking Lancelot's spell. The third act is a big fight, ala Shadows of the Colossus where Arthur and Lancelot in particular have to climb a giant forest creature, his head and shoulders populated with trees since he's from the earth, to fight Morgan or some heavy at the top. One big, expensive action setpiece later, the knights have added a figure (maybe even Galahad in tow), and we're ready for movie #3.

Never Happening

Really, the two original films I just really enjoy watching. Patrick H. Willems described what he called "vibe movies", movies less about plot and more about just being in the world created by the filmmakers (his central film in his video was Christopher Nolan’s Tenet). And that's kind of how I feel about John Carter and King Arthur: Legend of the Sword in very different ways.

John Carter is a big, earnest, sometimes goofy, old-school adventure film. Its big heart it wearshu unironically on its sleeve as it tells the story of a rootless man finding something to fight for once more. It’s told with color and energy, and I just get on its wavelength and enjoy the somewhat silly ride.

King Arthur's Conan the Barbarian influences (its first shot is of a temple that resembles Thulsa Doom's temple in Milius' film alongside a tower that looks a lot like the Serpent's Tower in the same film, and there’s a lot of snake stuff overall, including a giant snake in the end) mixed with Ritchie's low-level gangster stuff is a weird mix, but it's something I really enjoy. The film is imperfect (the mix is sometimes not that great, a lot of the CGI is fun but feels wasteful and indulgent, and there's an emotional bit for Vortigern, the bad guy, late in the film that's just poorly established), but I still just find myself bobbing my head back and forth to Daniel Pemberton's soundtrack anyway. Structurally, it's actually surprisingly sound, even if Ritchie is throwing things in a blender within individual sequences.

And both movies, I feel, artistically deserved sequels. Mostly because, well, I liked them. And I'd rather have Hollywood spend money to entertain me than making another Fast and Furious movie.

But it was never meant to be. My tastes were always going to be more niche, and that's just the world I live in.

What movies that promised sequels that never materialized do you sometimes still yearn for?
b
Movies of Today

Opening in Theaters:

Benedetta

Movies I Saw This Fortnight:

Forever Amber (Rating 1.5/4) Full Review "This isn’t good. It’s mostly just kind of...dull." [YouTube]

Where the Sidewalk Ends (Rating 4/4) Full Review "I mean...finally, Preminger works from a script by Ben Hecht. It’s what he needed. " [Plex]

Angel Face (Rating 3/4) Full Review "I think it's solidly good, undone by some late stage choices that grind things to a halt. However, the line on characters, the production itself, and the noirish coat of paint all make Angel Face a compelling drama that Preminger manages well, even if Howard Hughes had hired him to torture Jean Simmons." [Library]

River of No Return (Rating 2.5/4) Full Review "The overall world feels deeply incomplete, and the story itself feels underserved but with some nice payoffs to things set up earlier. It's not good, but it's surprisingly interesting in the end." [Hoopla]

Carmen Jones (Rating 3.5/4) Full Review "It's an odd duck that way, much like a good portion of Preminger's filmography. However, so much is so right that it stands near the top of his work." [Library]

The Man with the Golden Arm (Rating 3/4) Full Review "Adapting work from other mediums, Preminger is finding composed, solid success, although I feel a certain limitation on his ability to push the medium to its fullest potential." [Amazon Prime]

The Court-Martial of Billy Mitchell (Rating 1.5/4) Full Review "Preminger...frustrates me." [YouTube]

Saint Joan (Rating 1/4) Full Review "I...did not like this film." [YouTube]

Contact

Email any suggestions or questions to thejamesmadison.aos at symbol gmail dot com.
I've also archived all the old posts here, by request. I'll add new posts a week after they originally post at the HQ.
My next thread will be on 1/3 and it will discuss the directing career of Otto Preminger.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at 07:30 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Once again, no Summer School starring Mark Harmon.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 13, 2025 07:31 PM (u73oe)

2 The gilded age intro probably jarred the viewet out of the film

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:35 PM (bXbFr)

3 From the beginning

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:35 PM (bXbFr)

4 I too, am a fan of the John Carter movie - and not just because of Lynn Collins. Thanks for the thread, TJM.

Posted by: scampydog at December 13, 2025 07:37 PM (46ZIb)

5 2012 Dredd almost got the widely desired sequel.

Posted by: davidt at December 13, 2025 07:38 PM (Q+gd/)

6 ‘ King Arthur: Legend of the Sword is a contrasting tale of failure, though, starting with the fact that the trailers’

Maybe they should just release the trailer then.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 07:40 PM (fd80v)

7 If you make it past this barrier to barsoom you find a lot to like

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:41 PM (bXbFr)

8 Good evening everyone

Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 07:41 PM (Ia/+0)

9 I was not mad at your payers when I posted James 4.
I was just asking that as I here but a minute that the Lord know best how to answer.

Posted by: rhennigantx at December 13, 2025 07:42 PM (gbOdA)

10 I liked "John Carter", darn it. Yes, Taylor K. With his flowing locks is not the grim John Carter with the scimitar smile, but he's an appealing actor and gets by on charm. Tars Tarkas and Woola make the movie for me, and the style of the Martian tech is right off an Amazing Stories cover.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 07:42 PM (kpS4V)

11 I’ve always been a fan of the Arthurian legend. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Didn’t do it for me and I don’t even remember why. I just remember being disappointed.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 13, 2025 07:43 PM (u73oe)

12 TJM I sadly can't follow your lists of movies by directors, no way to pull movies out like that.
Really think am getting something out of your videos as never looked at movies much more than Entertainment

Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 07:44 PM (Ia/+0)

13 Of course so many films and tv shows have borrowed from princess of mars

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:44 PM (bXbFr)

14 There was lots more material that a sequel to "Master and Commander" could draw on. Probably not made for the same reason medieval movies don't cut it.

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at December 13, 2025 07:44 PM (BXUnK)

15 I liked John Carter; I think it was the marriage of old fashioned fantasy and sci-fi (plus all that desert) that appealed to me. Even as a bomb, it's so vastly superior to the crap Disney is turning out today.

I liked The Rocketeer, too; didn't know that one or more sequels originally had been contemplated.

Posted by: Paco at December 13, 2025 07:45 PM (2L+MU)

16 I recently rewatched Excalibur. It’s more a fever dream than a movie.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 13, 2025 07:45 PM (u73oe)

17 James 4 14 - 16
me
we are here and gone
so dont ask of G D
ask G D will

Posted by: rhennigantx at December 13, 2025 07:45 PM (gbOdA)

18 You would think with guy ritchies tast for posh surtoundings

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:45 PM (bXbFr)

19 He would direct king arthur in grand style

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:46 PM (bXbFr)

20 Heck Ya!... I liked the Princess of Mars (John Carter) Movie.

I never figured out why the "critics" hated on this simple Movie.

DF1

Been Creepin' on Ace for 10 years, finally had to post.

Posted by: DFrosty1 at December 13, 2025 07:46 PM (1p2AI)

21 Guy Ritchie's movie sorta works if you remove all the Arthurian stuff and make it a generic/new fantasy setting.

It's the Arthurian roots that make me reject this movie. I mean, it hardly has Merlin, it makes Arthur grow up around whores and pimps (such nobility and role models!) and it has Kung Fu George. Fucking Kung Fu George in Arthurian England.

*eyetwitch*

John Carter was silly when it should have been exciting and chaste when it should have been sexy. I never have managed to finish it, I just bounce off the first half hour every time. IMO, it's just too stupid to live.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at December 13, 2025 07:46 PM (xcxpd)

22 Of course "John Carter" needed to have the costuming from the books, especially for the Princess of Mars. But then it'd would probably need an R rating.

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at December 13, 2025 07:47 PM (BXUnK)

23 Seriously, if Hollywood was really wholly into girlboss characters at least SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE would have done Anne McCaffery "Dragonriders of Pern", but NOOOOOOOOOO because that series had "normal" M/F relationships where each pair STRENGTHENED each other!

Sorry, real bitter that Dragonriders has never been made into a movie!

-SLV

Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 07:47 PM (e/Osv)

24 'The 80s were probably the height of the medieval fantasy genre's popularity across the board'

Well, yeah. All of us Dungeons and Dragons playing teenagers liked that stuff.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 07:47 PM (fd80v)

25 Miguel, I liked the period intro, if you mean Carter's message to his nephew(?).

I didn't like the stupid trope of Carter having a wife who died in his arms. It's that "let's kill off someone for easy pathos and sympathy for the lead character" crap. And it wasn't in the book.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 07:47 PM (kpS4V)

26 It doesnt follow the book but i dont think yoi could sewuentially do so

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:47 PM (bXbFr)

27 My brother and I could make Vegas Vaca for hlaf the $$$
and twice the money

Posted by: rhennigantx at December 13, 2025 07:48 PM (gbOdA)

28 Promethius and the three bears.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at December 13, 2025 07:48 PM (Kt19C)

29 If they had done John Carter faithfully, it wouldn't be a family movie. Aside from the violence, there would have been bewbs everywhere - red Martian bewbs, green Martian bewbs, white Martian bewbs....

Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 07:48 PM (i85MS)

30 28 Promethius and the three bears.
Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at December 13, 2025 07:48 PM (Kt19C)

this zenomorphe is just right

Posted by: rhennigantx at December 13, 2025 07:48 PM (gbOdA)

31 12 TJM I sadly can't follow your lists of movies by directors, no way to pull movies out like that.
Really think am getting something out of your videos as never looked at movies much more than Entertainment
Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 07:44 PM (Ia/+0)

A lot, but not all, of those movies can found online. Either at Archive.org, or Ok.Ru.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at December 13, 2025 07:49 PM (xcxpd)

32 Yes that gets a little old

If you want to introduce this world to an unfamiliar audience would you do it this way

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:49 PM (bXbFr)

33 TJM, what's that FunkoPop and license plate on your bookshelf?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 07:49 PM (kpS4V)

34 The sequel I want to see is Kung Fury 2, but it may never be released. Some legal issue with the distributer.

Posted by: banana Dream at December 13, 2025 07:50 PM (3uBP9)

35 Generally I do like swords and sorcery movies

Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 07:50 PM (Ia/+0)

36 Probably you would need two films likd the way villeneuvr sectioned dune

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:51 PM (bXbFr)

37 The common elements to these film makers are valuable

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:52 PM (bXbFr)

38 16 I recently rewatched Excalibur. It’s more a fever dream than a movie.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 13, 2025 07:45 PM (u73oe

=====

Arrow is releasing a 4K in a few months.

Preordered.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 07:52 PM (GBKbO)

39 I just got HD TV and it certainly has possibly I haven't explored.
Said my main channel TCM it won't let me see without a subscription now. If I had normal channel I could. Still see one of the local.movie channels in non HD

Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 07:53 PM (Ia/+0)

40 31 12 TJM I sadly can't follow your lists of movies by directors, no way to pull movies out like that.
Really think am getting something out of your videos as never looked at movies much more than Entertainment
Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 07:44 PM (Ia/+0)

A lot, but not all, of those movies can found online. Either at Archive.org, or Ok.Ru.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at December 13, 2025 07:49Pre-ordered.

====

Google leads the way.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 07:53 PM (GBKbO)

41 22 Of course "John Carter" needed to have the costuming from the books, especially for the Princess of Mars. But then it'd would probably need an R rating.
Posted by: Raoul Ortega at December 13, 2025 07:47 PM (BXUnK)

====

Eh.

The original art leaned heavily towards Egyptian. Frazetta was decades later.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 07:54 PM (GBKbO)

42 SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE would have done Anne McCaffery "Dragonriders of Pern"
Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 07:47 PM (e/Osv)

^^THIS^^
So many great books that could have been made into movies! Heck, Pern could have been a 10 year series, based on the number of books.

Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 07:54 PM (i85MS)

43 John Carter was a good film if you'd read the books.
I read the first two.

I enjoyed the film.

But Disney didn't know how to market it, and most of the population had never heard of John Carter or the Princess of Mars, and it looked like a cheesy alien kids movie in the trailers.

There was also that 'Mars Curse' on Disney as Mars Needs Moms had bombed badly not too long before.

I wish they'd made a sequel to the film as the basic story is pretty interesting and the way John Carter travels to Mars so mysteriously and then comes back to Earth just as mysteriously and with decades having passed.

It could have made a decent franchise if done right, or at least a TV series.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 07:55 PM (6ydKt)

44 Or lack of costuming

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:55 PM (bXbFr)

45 33 TJM, what's that FunkoPop and license plate on your bookshelf?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 07:49 PM (kpS4V)

====

Funko is Doc Brown with the mind reader on his head. Junior's. A gift from a while ago.

Plate is OUTATIME, also from Back to the Future.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 07:55 PM (GBKbO)

46 ^^THIS^^
So many great books that could have been made into movies! Heck, Pern could have been a 10 year series, based on the number of books.
Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 07:54 PM (i85MS)
----
Considering how Wheel of Time was butchered by Amazon, I don't trust ANY modern studio to give classic works a proper treatment on either the small or large screen.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 13, 2025 07:56 PM (ESVrU)

47 Yeah, there's a lot of flat-out nekkidness in the Barsoom stories, and that ain't happening onscreen.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 07:56 PM (kpS4V)

48 I just watched the latest Knives Out movie, Wake Up Dead Man and quite liked it, much more than Glass Onion and even more than the original. Part of this is because I like shows about ordinary people much more than those about the rich and famous. Part because it is set in a small Catholic parish church. And the plot is an impossible murder referencing John Dickson Carr. Some may see it as sacrilegious or even blasphemous but I don't. So, recommended.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 13, 2025 07:57 PM (L/fGl)

49 The thing about Master and Commander, it could easily have had sequels, but I never felt the need for them.

I wanted them, but the original film felt complete at the same time.

And I don't think any sequel would have matched it.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 07:57 PM (GBKbO)

50
I see shorts for these little Peacock and Netflix and Hulu series and in every one of them, people are screaming at each other or accusing each other of malfeasance or betrayal or infidelity. Dinners always feature some dark revelation or hatred for someone else. Nobody is polite or charitable or supportive or loving. The dialogue may be sardonic but never funny. What is it with the producers and writers of these things?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 13, 2025 07:58 PM (tgvbd)

51 47
'Yeah, there's a lot of flat-out nekkidness in the Barsoom stories, and that ain't happening onscreen.'

Yeah. All the college age men would hate that.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 07:59 PM (fd80v)

52 Yeah amazon would mess it up maybe paramount

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 07:59 PM (bXbFr)

53 "The Rocketeer" is a perfect movie, and unless the sequels were also perfect, I'm glad it's a one-shot.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 07:59 PM (kpS4V)

54 Saw John Carter when it first came out -- kinda liked it, but would have to see it again. People hating it? Well, okay, everything is hated by somebody, but I don't recall it was anywhere near bad enough to rate the abuse it got.

The flick I'd have liked to see become a franchise was Remo Williams. Fred Ward and Joel Grey were delightful in it.

McCaffrey's Pern? Would make a NICE series of films, but what would our current crop of enlightened filmmakers do to it on its way to the screen? One shudders to think.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 13, 2025 08:00 PM (q3u5l)

55 Considering how Wheel of Time was butchered by Amazon, I don't trust ANY modern studio to give classic works a proper treatment on either the small or large screen.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 13, 2025 07:56 PM (ESVrU)

Perfessor, I hate to have to agree, but you are so, so, so sadly correct. In the 80's-90's I think I would have expected the studios to do a good job (or maybe a campy job -like several of the Fantastic 4's of the time), but now, sad to say, I don't trust Hollywood, AT ALL!

-SLV

Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 08:01 PM (e/Osv)

56 Thats who the writers are backbiting weasels

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:01 PM (bXbFr)

57 Yeah i like remo williams fred ward as an action star whatever joel grey was doing

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:02 PM (bXbFr)

58 So glad you mentioned John Carter. I thought I was about the only one who enjoyed it. Haven't been to a movie theater since the 2003 release of Return of the King but do get DVDs now and then and this was one. Damn! What a fun movie. Old style adventure, plenty of humor but not a parody like the Batman TV series. And great special effects. The more I learned critics hated it the more I wanted to see it. Once again: my preference 1, critics 0. Lynn Collins completed the appeal.

Sorry I didn't see it on a big screen.

Posted by: JTB at December 13, 2025 08:03 PM (yTvNw)

59 Look at how much has been soent on avatar

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:03 PM (bXbFr)

60 Been some time now, year maybe read someone was trying for a pre-quil of Patrick O'Brian story Master and Commander. Obviously the original actors have to be replaced

Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 08:04 PM (Ia/+0)

61 I don't know it was the medieval setting that killed Narnia, so much as the movie makers. The first was quite good. The 2nd just wasn't; enough worse that I never bothered with the 3rd.

Posted by: Eeyore at December 13, 2025 08:04 PM (s0JqF)

62 The thing about Master and Commander, it could easily have had sequels, but I never felt the need for them.

I wanted them, but the original film felt complete at the same time.

And I don't think any sequel would have matched it.
Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 07:57 PM (GBKbO)
---
I agree. I love the books, but the film was meant to be an homage, and it worked wonderfully.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, I Have Become Comfortably Lame at December 13, 2025 08:04 PM (0aYVJ)

63 @50

>> And I don't think any sequel would have matched it.

Well constructed films don’t need sequels.

Sequels are cash grabs in the main.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at December 13, 2025 08:05 PM (XV/Pl)

64 For my money the sequel that ought to have been was one or more coming after Master and Commander. And there was plenty of material to work from. But I understand it lost $. Why, I don't know. It's the last movie I really liked.

Posted by: Eeyore at December 13, 2025 08:05 PM (s0JqF)

65 Tl;dr

TJM is not a complete effette tool hipster when it comes to film.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:05 PM (zZu0s)

66 The Trump lyes abouts my Black Presdent T shits is be back in stock.

Gets yoors befoor they be gone.

Posted by: Mary Cloggistein from Brattleboro, Vt at December 13, 2025 08:05 PM (ySHsh)

67 Sequels I wanted: The Last Starfighter, Come and See, Time Bandits
Sequels I didn't want: Rocky V, Star Wars 6, Jaws 2 and 3D.

Posted by: LGBTQ+POC, ANTI RACIST HERO at December 13, 2025 08:06 PM (PHmbR)

68 Speaking of franchises, the Critical Drinker does Starfleet Academy.

https://is.gd/3zNZ9c

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 13, 2025 08:06 PM (L/fGl)

69 Also two great sets of books that could be made into a whole slew of movies or series':
The Miles Vorkosigan books from Lois McMaster Bujold. It's ... well, I can't describe it except to say he pulls a lot of shenanigans to solve problems. Pulling them off relies partly on his brains, people's tendency to mis-underestimate him, and some connection to power.

The Chanur novels of C.J. Cherryh. Her aliens are not just humans in rubber suits, but think differently. The Cuckoo's Egg could also be done, if it was done right. I doubt her Foreigner novels would translate well to film, though you might try them as animated movies.

Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 08:06 PM (nuE1e)

70 I liked John Carter as well , but yes it needed way more boobs.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 08:06 PM (k5cxK)

71 65 Tl;dr

TJM is not a complete effette tool hipster when it comes to film.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:05 PM (zZu0s

====

Am an asshole, though.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:06 PM (GBKbO)

72 John Carter was but needed to be tighter. It is hard to do and set up the story, but it drug too long on earth (and overall, honestly.)

Like the movie though.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:07 PM (zZu0s)

73 Yeah that is cringe worthy

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:07 PM (bXbFr)

74 72 John Carter was but needed to be tighter. It is hard to do and set up the story, but it drug too long on earth (and overall, honestly.)

Like the movie though.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:07 PM (zZu0s

====

I'd recast Carter and eliminate the Barsoom prologue. The earth stuff i dig.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:08 PM (GBKbO)

75 Speaking of Bewbs, I always liked the Robert Mitchum - Marilyn movie on the river. Mitchum is one of my all time favorites.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 08:08 PM (k5cxK)

76 I liked John Carter as well , but yes it needed way more boobs.
Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 08:06 PM (k5cxK)

In this case, I cannot think of a gal who would fit Boris' vision who would have done better. The gal in the movie is a knock out. And plays it straight with no cheese or ham.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:08 PM (zZu0s)

77 Umm, so speaking of movies. I'm streaming Tubi (cut the other cord about a year ago).

So did anyone know there was a "Conan the Barbarian" movie released in 2011 starring Jason Mamoa?

-SLV

Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 08:09 PM (e/Osv)

78 It looks more like Starfleet Saved By The Bell.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:09 PM (6ydKt)

79 Are Bond Films sequels?

Posted by: Thomas Bender at December 13, 2025 08:10 PM (XV/Pl)

80 The John Carter movie was really a very good movie, too bad it was hammered by the critics. Call it what you will, marketing is paramount, but the casting was excellent and the cinematography was top notch. It's hard to fuck up a production as well made as this was.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 13, 2025 08:10 PM (1zOXE)

81 Filming movies back to back is a great way to ensure continuity, if the money is there to do it.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 08:10 PM (kpS4V)

82 One of my favorite Preminger's is Anatomy of a Murder.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 13, 2025 08:10 PM (L/fGl)

83 I'd recast Carter and eliminate the Barsoom prologue. The earth stuff i dig.
Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:08 PM (GBKbO)

Hmmm. Yeah, that could work too. Just tell it from Carter's POV? I like it. Would match the book.

But I still think even doing that that the earth stuff would drag. Cut the will part. Until the end. Reveal that the kid is reading Carters account.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:10 PM (zZu0s)

84 Don't think I ever saw that particular King Arthur movie. I have seen the John Carter flick quite a few times. It grew on me. Lynn Collins is one pretty gal and that helped me watch it more than once. It's a solid action flick with a good story.

And Lynn Collins is hot!

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 13, 2025 08:11 PM (rii+a)

85 77 Umm, so speaking of movies. I'm streaming Tubi (cut the other cord about a year ago).

So did anyone know there was a "Conan the Barbarian" movie released in 2011 starring Jason Mamoa?

-SLV
Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 08:09 PM (e/Osv)

====

Even mentioned it in the content.

I saw it on theaters (the dollar theater, to be honest), and i own the 3D Blu-ray.

Its...okay.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:11 PM (GBKbO)

86 @GWB

The Miles Vorkosigan books from Lois McMaster Bujold.

----

LOVED the Miles books!!!!!!!!

-SLV

Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 08:11 PM (e/Osv)

87 Considering how Wheel of Time was butchered by Amazon, I don't trust ANY modern studio to give classic works a proper treatment on either the small or large screen.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 13, 2025 07:56 PM (ESVrU)

I never read Wheel Of Time, so I was baffled by the complaints many had. But I will absolutely agree with your assessment.

If someone wrote ME a very large check to make Pern (or Chanur, or Miles Vorkosigan) I would certainly do it justice. I'm a visual reader and have built the scenes in my mind for years.

Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 08:11 PM (K1PX7)

88 Svengoolie has duel

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:11 PM (bXbFr)

89 Speaking of movies, "Duel" is on Svengoolie.

Posted by: fd at December 13, 2025 08:12 PM (vFG9F)

90 @TJM

Jason Mamoa was better than Arn-ahld...

-SLV

Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 08:12 PM (e/Osv)

91 The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension needed a sequel. It was even mentioned at the end of the movie.

Posted by: MichiCanuck at December 13, 2025 08:13 PM (VoMie)

92 How would you follow that up

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:14 PM (bXbFr)

93 It would have been fun to explore the other subcultures of Barsoom, like the technophile Black Martians and the polar Yellow Martians, the people living on one of the moons, and heck, toss in the Skeleton Men of Jupiter.

And the mad scientist creating men from a vat of fleshy goo or doing brain transplants would be a laff riot.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 08:15 PM (kpS4V)

94 Speaking of movies, "Duel" is on Svengoolie.
Posted by: fd

For starting out as a second banana on Gunsmoke, Dennis Weaver did all right for himself.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 13, 2025 08:16 PM (L/fGl)

95
One of my favorite Preminger's is Anatomy of a Murder.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 13, 2025 08:10 PM (L/fGl)

Another good book ruined by Otto Preminger

Anatomy of a Murder: ruined
Advise and Consent: ruined
In Harm's Way: ruined

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 13, 2025 08:16 PM (tgvbd)

96 John Carter is a mystery to me as well. I avoided in its theatrical run, based on the near-universal panning it received.

A while back it came up a suggested freebie in Amazon Prime Video. "What the hell... I can just turn it off when it starts to suck." (see: "The Rings of Power".. I rejected that one less than ten minutes in).

To my surprise, it didn't suck at all. I've seen far, far, worse F&SF movies. I completely agree that it's sequel-worthy (as you suggest, Burroughs wrote about a billion of those books, so it's not like there's a shortage of material).

In regard to Master and Commander, I think one reason it was failed to garner any awards was that it was up against the juggernaut of The Return of the King. That probably hurt it at the box office at least some, too,

A fine, fine film, which I need to watch again.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 08:16 PM (IG3/x)

97 91 The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension needed a sequel. It was even mentioned at the end of the movie.
Posted by: MichiCanuck at December 13, 2025 08:13 PM (VoMie)

Camp-y movies of the 80-90 period were FUN, as opposed to MANY movies these days. I greatly enjoyed Buckaroo.

-SLV

Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 08:16 PM (e/Osv)

98 The books are tailor made for movies. Being episodic. Periodic narrative changes as this or that guy become the protagonist of a book.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:17 PM (zZu0s)

99 True, I was waiting for years for the sequel to Buckaroo Banzai.

I guess it was too far out there and didn't make enough money.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:17 PM (6ydKt)

100 96
In regard to Master and Commander, I think one reason it was failed to garner any awards was that it was up against the juggernaut of The Return of the King. That probably hurt it at the box office at least some, too,

A fine, fine film, which I need to watch again.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 08:16 PM (IG3/x)

====

Peter Weir is an artist, and timing killed his best chances at that Oscar.

M&C is a masterpiece. Love it so much.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:18 PM (GBKbO)

101 Sorry I didn't see it on a big screen.
Posted by: JTB at December 13, 2025 08:03 PM (yTvNw)

That's one of the other bits. John Carter is a BIG SCREEN flick. Or it should be. Something to make vast red deserts look really vast, and 4-armed Martians leaping out from the rocks look huge and terrifying.

Pern would have to be. It's about flying dragons in the sky and dogfighting with them. If you shot it to look right on a TV, it would suffer.

Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 08:18 PM (K1PX7)

102 Advice and consent was not easy to adapt

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:20 PM (bXbFr)

103 Zelazny's Amber books would make a nice series of flicks.

So would Lawrence Block's Matt Scudders -- two were done, one with Jeff Bridges and the other with Liam Neeson (the better of the two). But no series of films, darn it.

So would John D. MacDonald's Travis McGees -- two were done, one with Rod Taylor and one for television with Sam Elliott. No series of films, darn it. Taylor's, Darker Than Amber, is worth a watch just for the absolutely brutal fight sequence between Taylor and William Smith at the finish. No stunt doubles.

Quite a few films from Westlake's Parker novels, but they're all over the map.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 13, 2025 08:20 PM (q3u5l)

104 Carter of Mars was an extremely difficult project to adapt. It just was doomed from the start. Admirable failure but a failure nonetheless.

Posted by: weft cut loop at December 13, 2025 08:21 PM (mlg/3)

105 Hi all,
Speaking of sequels. Did anyone watch the Spinal Tap sequel? I didn't even realized it had been made but saw something about it recently. I presume it doesn't work but maybe others differ?

Some good movies I've seen recently are TRAIN DREAMS, NOUVELLE VAGUE, SENTIMENTAL VALUE, IT WAS ONLY AN ACCIDENT, NO OTHER CHOICE and watching JAY KELLY now.

I think TRAIN DREAMS will be my #1 for the year, though there are dozens I haven't seen which I should.

Posted by: Lex at December 13, 2025 08:21 PM (y4H1r)

106
I forgot

The Cardinal: ruined

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 13, 2025 08:21 PM (tgvbd)

107 The effects in JC also look pretty good without being cheesy. Woola and the Green men come off surprisingly well.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:21 PM (zZu0s)

108 Master and Commander is a male-centric film.
I'm not surprised it didn't get many awards based on that alone.

The female Oscar voters watching it probably fell asleep half-way through.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:21 PM (6ydKt)

109 Strangest feeling of deja vu reading the post. Oh, yeah: it's 'cause I watched that video already.

Still have your Capra one to watch, so, yeah.

"The Rocketeer" is a perfect movie, and unless the sequels were also perfect, I'm glad it's a one-shot.
Posted by: All Hail Eris

Very much so!

Posted by: mindful webworker - film flam at December 13, 2025 08:21 PM (lbDMw)

110 On war movie reviews of realism Master and Commander often wins big marks.
I definitely put it in my top war movies

Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 08:21 PM (Ia/+0)

111 I thought in harms way was good

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:21 PM (bXbFr)

112
I had trouble bringing an Otto Preminger movie to mind that I liked.

So, I checked out his filmography. Eh, i guess both "Anatomy of a Murder" and "Laura" were alright.

I guess Ol' Otsy didn't make the kind of movies I was interested in seeing.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 13, 2025 08:21 PM (iJfKG)

113 The sequel they should have made but Hollywood hates us is Dredd.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:22 PM (KDPiq)

114
"We are all Britons. And I am your king."

"Well I didn't vote for you."

Posted by: Don Black at December 13, 2025 08:22 PM (ZxPkt)

115
Advice and consent was not easy to adapt
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:20 PM (bXbFr)

Allen Drury was so disgusted by what happened to his book that he refused to sell the film rights of any of his others.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 13, 2025 08:23 PM (tgvbd)

116 Oh, and yeah, the Martians in the books are way more nekkid than they are in the movie (this is Disney)... both men and women wear nothing but a sort of harness on which they can hang weapons and jewelry.

"And the sight which met my eyes was that of a slender, girlish figure,
similar in every detail to the earthly women of my past life. She did
not see me at first, but just as she was disappearing through the
portal of the building which was to be her prison she turned, and her
eyes met mine. Her face was oval and beautiful in the extreme, her
every feature was finely chiseled and exquisite, her eyes large and
lustrous and her head surmounted by a mass of coal black, waving hair,
caught loosely into a strange yet becoming coiffure. Her skin was of a
light reddish copper color, against which the crimson glow of her
cheeks and the ruby of her beautifully molded lips shone with a
strangely enhancing effect.

She was as destitute of clothes as the green Martians who accompanied
her; indeed, save for her highly wrought ornaments she was entirely
naked, nor could any apparel have enhanced the beauty of her perfect
and symmetrical figure."

-- A Princess of Mars

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 08:24 PM (IG3/x)

117 The sequel they should have made but Hollywood hates us is Dredd.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:22 PM (KDPiq)

The one with Stallone or the one with Karl Urban?

I like them both.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:24 PM (6ydKt)

118 Also, the guy they had as the loyal lieutenant in Barsoom. Also was in Solomon Kane. I like that actor.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:24 PM (zZu0s)

119 I really liked John Carter. Especially the ending. I can't help it that audiences don't know good movies when they see them.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:24 PM (KDPiq)

120 "Well I didn't vote for you."
Posted by: Don Black at December 13, 2025 08:22 PM (ZxPkt)
----

I thought we were an autonomous collective!"

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 08:24 PM (kpS4V)

121 Karl Urban's Dredd is a great movie.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:24 PM (zZu0s)

122 Patrick Willems? I got blocked by Willems after reminding him that he said people shouldn't hate on Stars Wars Ep 8 because it is a 'children's story about space wizards' when he was losing his mind over Ep 9. Good times

Posted by: ILikeEmScurvy at December 13, 2025 08:25 PM (IMskL)

123 Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:24 PM (6ydKt)

Urban.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:25 PM (KDPiq)

124 The sequel they should have made but Hollywood hates us is Dredd.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:22 PM (KDPiq)

I saw that movie twice at the theater, I like it so much. And at popular viewing times.

The first time during it's opening weekend, I was the only one in the theater.
The second time, there was one other person watching the movie.

There's no way that was ever going to get a sequel.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 13, 2025 08:25 PM (iJfKG)

125 Pern would have to be. It's about flying dragons in the sky and dogfighting with them and rape

Fixed it, on Anne McCaffery's behalf

Posted by: gKWVE at December 13, 2025 08:25 PM (gKWVE)

126 The Rocketeer had 1991 Jennifer Connelly.

I mean, it doesn't get much better than that.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:25 PM (6ydKt)

127 Eat My Dust

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 13, 2025 08:26 PM (Mk6+b)

128 I would have liked another Riddick movie but he's too old now.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:26 PM (KDPiq)

129 128 I would have liked another Riddick movie but he's too old now.
Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:26 PM (KDPiq

====

Another one is being made, actually.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:27 PM (GBKbO)

130 As for John Carter, I'll always wonder how come it didn't get an anime treatment.
Michael Kogge seems to be about to fill that need.

Posted by: gKWVE at December 13, 2025 08:27 PM (gKWVE)

131 Who else think Stargate and John Carter had a lot of similarities?

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:28 PM (KDPiq)

132 Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:24 PM (6ydKt)

Urban.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:25 PM (KDPiq)

The darker version.
It's good for that.

The campy Stallone version with Diane Lane isn't bad either.

A sequel to Demolition Man would've been nice.
But it seems we're living through it, instead.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:28 PM (6ydKt)

133 61 I don't know it was the medieval setting that killed Narnia, so much as the movie makers. The first was quite good. The 2nd just wasn't; enough worse that I never bothered with the 3rd.
Posted by: Eeyore at December 13, 2025 08:04 PM (s0JqF)

I’m surprised Hollywood even attempted it. I’m no Narnia fanboy but how they can make that series with such disdain for its Christian themes I can’t imagine. I think that is why they stopped where they did.

Posted by: Cow Demon at December 13, 2025 08:28 PM (4786I)

134 The Rocketeer had 1991 Jennifer Connelly.

I mean, it doesn't get much better than that.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:25 PM (6ydKt)

Joe Johnston was the director. He also did the first Captain America movie. You can see it when you know it. Both are genuine and play it without irony or sarcasm. A rarity these days.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:28 PM (zZu0s)

135 Skip next time you're in San Diego you should visit the ship used (built?) for Master & Commander, it's part of the maritime museum down in the harbor. Actually, I should visit it too. There's a good "making of" video about that movie that discusses the ship and the realism/accuracy of many details. Definitely one of the better movies of recent decades.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 13, 2025 08:28 PM (U/Byj)

136
I've got "Excaliber" in 4K on order.

I hope they do a great job with that one. One of my faves.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 13, 2025 08:28 PM (iJfKG)

137 Anyone mention Buckaroo Banzai yet?

Posted by: Eromero at December 13, 2025 08:29 PM (LHPAg)

138 There was a sequel to Urban's Dredd in the works, with Urban, but apparently it died on the vine.

Posted by: davidt at December 13, 2025 08:29 PM (Q+gd/)

139 130 As for John Carter, I'll always wonder how come it didn't get an anime treatment.
Michael Kogge seems to be about to fill that need.
Posted by: gKWVE at December 13, 2025 08:27 PM (gKWVE)

=====

The earliest attempt to adapt it was in the 30s, and it would have been animated.

Theater owners convinced the producer to kill it, though. Told them people wouldn't accept something so fanciful.

It would have predated Snow White as the first feature length animated film.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:29 PM (GBKbO)

140 What's that watermelon doing there?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 13, 2025 08:29 PM (Mk6+b)

141 Advice and consent was not easy to adapt
Posted by: Miguel cervantes

That book and movie is homophobic!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 13, 2025 08:29 PM (L/fGl)

142 It may be an irony (Alanis can correct me) but one reason John Carter flopped is everyone thought it was ripping off Dune, Stargate, Star Wars, and/or Flash Gordon

Posted by: gKWVE at December 13, 2025 08:29 PM (gKWVE)

143 > Zelazny's Amber books would make a nice series of flicks.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 13, 2025 08:20 PM (q3u5l)

We have the technology to pull those off now, but please let them not be made until the woke mania dies out.

I don't think I could handle a handicapped, retarded, transgendered Corwin of color.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 08:29 PM (IG3/x)

144 Another one is being made, actually.
Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:27 PM (GBKbO)

Lot of AI I imagine.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:29 PM (KDPiq)

145 Speaking of Capra, this week we watched American Madness. Had never seen it, or even heard of it until someone mentioned it on here. I think. Good ol' Capra! YooToob has it to rent or buy, but somebody posted in for free:
https://youtu.be/PHe4AMjkozs

Also watched, last week or so, Jules, a low-key SF, almost fantasy, movie. Ben Kingsley stars as a reclusive old man with slight onset of old-timer's. Satisfying. Don't read about it, don't watch a trailer, just cue it up and watch. YooToob has it to rent or buy, but somebody posted in for free:
https://youtu.be/-CfqCY9V4DQ

Posted by: mindful webworker - film flan at December 13, 2025 08:30 PM (lbDMw)

146 Angel Face (Rating 3/4) Full Review "I think it's solidly good, undone by some late stage choices that grind things to a halt. However, the line on characters, the production itself, and the noirish coat of paint all make Angel Face a compelling drama that Preminger manages well, even if Howard Hughes had hired him to torture Jean Simmons." [Library]

forget where/when I heard this, (perhaps a Mitchum docu?) but Otto had Mitchum slap Jean Simmons, and kept wanting him to do it, over and over. Well, after about 3rd or 4th take, Jean was crying and if IIRC, Otto wanted more takes. Mitchum said, no, no more, and if you keep pushing this, I will get you fired....that was that... I so respect Robert for doing that...

Posted by: zigggggy at December 13, 2025 08:30 PM (/Pwrg)

147 118 Also, the guy they had as the loyal lieutenant in Barsoom. Also was in Solomon Kane. I like that actor.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:24 PM (zZu0s)

Hmmm, Robert E Howard's "Soloman Kane" deserves at least as much attention as his "Conan" books. Kull got a movie, but Soloman was deeper than Conan or Kull.

-SLV

Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 08:30 PM (e/Osv)

148 142 It may be an irony (Alanis can correct me) but one reason John Carter flopped is everyone thought it was ripping off Dune, Stargate, Star Wars, and/or Flash Gordon
Posted by: gKWVE at December 13, 2025 08:29 PM (gKWVE)

====

Disney killed it. Terrible marketing and they didn't lean on critics.

They had bought Marvel and were buying Star Wars. John Carter wasn't necessary on a corporate level anymore.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:31 PM (GBKbO)

149 Thx TJM.
John Carter is a fun movie. Never saw that particular Arthurian movie, but anything in the he realm must be compared to Excalibur. Boorman was a very interesting director.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 13, 2025 08:31 PM (D+mpw)

150 Daniel Baldwin took Ben Kingsley to acting school.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 13, 2025 08:31 PM (Mk6+b)

151 Recently watched Odd Thomas. That should have been a franchise . Of course the actor died too soon.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:33 PM (KDPiq)

152 "I don't think I could handle a handicapped, retarded, transgendered Corwin of color."

I'll second that. And that's what we'd probably get from the current crop of geniuses at the studios.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 13, 2025 08:33 PM (q3u5l)

153 rhomboid I didn't know it was in the USA, think it was built in France

Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 08:33 PM (Ia/+0)

154 Excalibur fascinated me as a kid.
It was filmed quite beautifully.
The story is timeless.

And a young-ish Patrick Stewart as a knight in one scene.

I think that's the only thing I've seen him in before ST:TNG.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:33 PM (6ydKt)

155 79 Are Bond Films sequels?
Posted by: Thomas Bender at December 13, 2025 08:10 PM (XV/Pl)

They are not supposed to be.

Posted by: Cow Demon at December 13, 2025 08:34 PM (4786I)

156
Speaking of "Dune", I would've loved a David Lynch sequel to his first movie.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 13, 2025 08:34 PM (iJfKG)

157 Watched Stalag 17 again for the first time in decades (on Utoob now). Of its time, but otherwise holds up fairly well. One detail I didn't recall was how Shultz says he was a pro wrestler in Cincinnati before the war. Which was a nice historically accurate allusion to how "German" Cincinnati was.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 13, 2025 08:34 PM (U/Byj)

158 What happened to my Dino de Laurentiis sequel to Flash Gordon??

Posted by: gKWVE at December 13, 2025 08:35 PM (gKWVE)

159 I am bereft. The pawn shop quit their sales of DVD's

Posted by: Ben Had at December 13, 2025 08:35 PM (sDNVV)

160 I've got "Excaliber" in 4K on order.

-
First time I ever heard Carl Orff's O Fortuna and I loved it

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 13, 2025 08:35 PM (L/fGl)

161 Pitch Black is one of the best Sci Fi films of the 21st century.

It had proably the best sound design this side of Ghost in The Darkness.

We used to use Pitch Black to demo 5.1 surround sound.

Speaking of sound design, whatever happened to sound design?

Now all we get is loud, louder and Nolan.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at December 13, 2025 08:35 PM (XV/Pl)

162 I rarely enjoy sequels. I regarded the original three Star Wars films to be one long movie and enjoyed them. Saw the first sequel, the one with Jar Jar Something, and never went back to the franchise. Even the Indiana Jones movies, which were decent, didn't live up to the original film. The best thing about Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was the interplay of Ford with Sean Connery. The ones that followed Last Crusade were crap. Not bad acting, bad stories.

Posted by: JTB at December 13, 2025 08:35 PM (yTvNw)

163 The music in Excalibur was used in my fraternity's formal initiation .

Prior to the movie being made.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:36 PM (KDPiq)

164 And I gotta say, I kinda liked River of No Return too.

If memory serves, it used to show up on NBC Saturday Night at the Movies in the 60s. Pretty sure that's where I first saw it.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 13, 2025 08:36 PM (q3u5l)

165 I liked his sherlock holmes wven though it was really just downey being himself with a strong steampunk element

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:36 PM (bXbFr)

166 145 Speaking of Capra, this week we watched American Madness. Had never seen it, or even heard of it until someone mentioned it on here. I think. Good ol' Capra! YooToob has it to rent or buy, but somebody posted in for free:
https://youtu.be/PHe4AMjkozs

Posted by: mindful webworker - film flan at December 13, 2025 08:30 PM (lbDMw)

Oh, indeed, good ol Capra! You can see a few pre- Its a Wonderful life ideas (at the bank, and some other banker saying, your friends won't save you) and a touch of Mr Deeds goes to Town (I believe Walter Huston gives up for a time)

Posted by: zigggggy at December 13, 2025 08:36 PM (/Pwrg)

167 Sequel to Risky Business has to be made!

Posted by: Lex at December 13, 2025 08:36 PM (y4H1r)

168 > I think that's the only thing I've seen him in before ST:TNG.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:33 PM (6ydKt)

The first thing I saw him in was as Macro in I, Claudius back in the '70s (also the first time I saw boobs on TV... apparently the local PBS outlet decided it was British, therefore Art).

I didn't know who he was at the time, of course. I watched the series again years later and had a "I know that guy" moment. Then the penny dropped. Patrick Stewart! With hair!

The series holds up quite well, by the way. Just don't expect a lot of fancy special effects, just some first-rate acting and storytelling.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 08:37 PM (IG3/x)

169 Posted by: rhomboid at December 13, 2025 08:34 PM (U/Byj

Should have cut out the Christmas party dance scene. I call BS.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:37 PM (KDPiq)

170 We pretend crystal skull didnt happen in my house

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:37 PM (bXbFr)

171 I read that somehow Big Trouble in Little China took the place of the Buckaroo Bansai sequel.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 08:38 PM (k5cxK)

172 142 It may be an irony (Alanis can correct me) but one reason John Carter flopped is everyone thought it was ripping off Dune, Stargate, Star Wars, and/or Flash Gordon
Posted by: gKWVE

Considering the source material pre-dates all of those, yes. Ironic.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 13, 2025 08:38 PM (rii+a)

173 OK, who wants to see a thread crossover, Perfesser Squirrel and TJM swapping threads? Perfesser does a bit on book-themed movies, and TJM does a bit on books that inspired movies? TJM has to actually talk about the books, though, on Sunday morning, and Perfesser has talk about the movies.

Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 08:38 PM (WMHh6)

174 One sequel I found better than the original is Addams Family Values. I love that one.

My Dad heard the name "Pubert" and he just about died laughing.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, I Have Become Comfortably Lame at December 13, 2025 08:39 PM (0aYVJ)

175 There are three Indiana Jones movies and a fourth there shall never be.

Posted by: Cow Demon at December 13, 2025 08:39 PM (4786I)

176 Skip don't know where she was built, but apparently 1970, and used for training. Modified to be highly accurate replica of an 18th century Royal Navy 24-gun frigate.

Really would like to see her some time. Maritime museum prices (like so much) are high, and I no longer have workarounds from military museum where I volunteered.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 13, 2025 08:39 PM (U/Byj)

177 And I saw and enjoyed "Wicked For Good", which I realize is a tad too gayballz for this crowd.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 08:40 PM (kpS4V)

178 Solomon Kane i have not seen all of it. The effects were... not good, but the acting was not bad.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:40 PM (zZu0s)

179 GWB at 173 --

That could be fun, and I'd bet TJM and the Perfessor could bring it off without even working hard.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 13, 2025 08:40 PM (q3u5l)

180 Finally caught the Dual of Destiny the other night. That movie was a very stupid mess.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 13, 2025 08:40 PM (D+mpw)

181 Bought tickets for a theatrical run (re-run?) of Scrooged on the 16th. Saw it originally in first run theater. That's how it was meant to be seen. Hope there's a good crowd.

There ought to be a Bill Murray calendar. Watch Ghostbusters in October. Watch Scrooged in December. Watch Groundhog Day in February. Watch What About Bob in the Summer. What else?

Still debating whether we want to go to the theater on Christmas Day to see It's a Wonderful Life. Could be fun, even if we do have every frame and sound memorized. (One of my regular prayers, in plaintive Zuzu's voice: "Fix it, Daddy!")

At least the theater is clean, with comfy seats. Theaters could survive and thrive if they just showed old flicks. Anyway, I've thought so for years. Glad to encourage the practice.

Posted by: mindful webworker - flim flum at December 13, 2025 08:40 PM (lbDMw)

182 OK, who wants to see a thread crossover, Perfesser Squirrel and TJM swapping threads? Perfesser does a bit on book-themed movies, and TJM does a bit on books that inspired movies? TJM has to actually talk about the books, though, on Sunday morning, and Perfesser has talk about the movies.
Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 08:38 PM (WMHh6)

Two best book to movies IMO are The Great Santini and Captains Courageous ( even though they changed the ending)

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:41 PM (KDPiq)

183 177 And I saw and enjoyed "Wicked For Good", which I realize is a tad too gayballz for this crowd.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 08:40 PM (kpS4V)

=====

Dolley and I went and saw it.

Neither of us liked it, but I liked it less.

I was just kind of miserable.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:41 PM (GBKbO)

184 The sequel we really need is "Sharknado 7", or whatever number they're up to. That's a story and set of characters that really have a lot of potential left.

Posted by: a.moron at December 13, 2025 08:41 PM (X5Jzz)

185 I think that's the only thing I've seen him in before ST:TNG.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at December 13, 2025 08:33 PM (6ydKt)

Even younger in I, Claudius as Sejanus. Even has hair.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:42 PM (zZu0s)

186 TJM has to actually talk about the books, though, on Sunday morning, and Perfesser has talk about the movies.
Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 08:38 PM (WMHh6)
---

I bet TJM is much more amenable to shorty robes and togas in lieu of pants.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 08:42 PM (kpS4V)

187 Eris, with all the boob talk by the guys I've never figured out why they aren't binge watching Spartacus.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 13, 2025 08:42 PM (sDNVV)

188 > 175 There are three Indiana Jones movies and a fourth there shall never be.
Posted by: Cow Demon at December 13, 2025 08:39 PM (4786I)

I pretend that the movie Starship Troopers is a completely separate story that just by coincidence has the same name as a classic Heinlein novel.

They have precious little else in common.

Not even nude Denise Richards in her prime compensates for that steaming pile of shite.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 08:42 PM (IG3/x)

189 170 We pretend crystal skull didnt happen in my house
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:37 PM (bXbFr)

You know what pissed me of most (out of many choices) in Crystal Skull? Here we have this highly advanced inter dimensional alien race who have been collecting 12,000 years (we are told) of mankind’s greatest artifacts, from every culture, but at the end the aliens just say “aw fukkit we’re outta here” and they smash everything to bits and go home.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 08:42 PM (k5cxK)

190 You must be mistaken thar film doesnt exist

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:42 PM (bXbFr)

191 Watch What About Bob in the Summer. What else?

I think Meatballs would be the summer movie.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:42 PM (KDPiq)

192 Bill Murray's "Meatballs" is perfect for July/August.

Posted by: gKWVE at December 13, 2025 08:42 PM (gKWVE)

193 > Even younger in I, Claudius as Sejanus. Even has hair.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:42 PM (zZu0s)

Yep, you're right. Sejanus, not Macro.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 08:42 PM (IG3/x)

194 I miss Michael Bay.

The Rock is a great movie.

Armageddon is a good, enjoyable movie.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:43 PM (zZu0s)

195 "The first thing I saw him in was as Macro in I, Claudius back in the '70s"

Actually he played Sejanus. I think Macro was played by John Rhys Davies.

Posted by: Tuna at December 13, 2025 08:43 PM (lJ0H4)

196 Well after they nuked the fridge

A neuralized memory

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:43 PM (bXbFr)

197 way I see it, absolutely. Actually that's part of what I mean by "of its time" - quite a few odd/discordant notes struck, usually related to entertainment, in what is otherwise a "dark" movie. Too many gags and not much dark humor. The character "Animal" is about 25 pounds overweight - very very unlikely by December 1944, and he had been a POW for some time.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 13, 2025 08:43 PM (U/Byj)

198 Sequel to Risky Business has to be made!
Posted by: Lex

At least his heart was in the right place.

OnlyFans model tells @outkick’s @JoeKinseyexp that [former Michigan coach] Sherrone Moore offered her season tickets for a foursome with two other only fans models, DM’ed her during halftime of games.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 13, 2025 08:43 PM (L/fGl)

199 70 I liked John Carter as well , but yes it needed way more boobs.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 08:06 PM (k5cxK)

Just to be clear, do you mean more women exposing their boobs, or hot Martian women with more than two boobs?

Posted by: a.moron at December 13, 2025 08:44 PM (X5Jzz)

200 How about lifeforce have done tobe hooper

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:44 PM (bXbFr)

201 Patrick Stewart was in Lynch's Dune too iirc. As Gurney Halleck, although I think that character was better in the miniseries.

Posted by: gKWVE at December 13, 2025 08:44 PM (gKWVE)

202 23 Seriously, if Hollywood was really wholly into girlboss characters at least SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE would have done Anne McCaffery "Dragonriders of Pern", but NOOOOOOOOOO because that series had "normal" M/F relationships where each pair STRENGTHENED each other!

Sorry, real bitter that Dragonriders has never been made into a movie!

-SLV
Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 07:47 PM (e/Osv)

Anne McCaffery was so against anyone touching her work that fan-sites wouldn't even host fanfiction, for fear of legal action. That annoyed me back when I was of an age when I would seek out fanfiction and fanart. But now....Not only do I understand her animosity, I fully support it.

Let Dragonriders of Pern remain as novels, unblemished by idiots trying to 'adapt' them to meet modern sensibilities and or preach today's beliefs...

Posted by: Castle Guy at December 13, 2025 08:44 PM (Lhaco)

203 Brian Blessed as Augustus.

You have to love that guy.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:45 PM (zZu0s)

204 I am reading Leigh Brackett's Skaith series with Eric John Stark. If it had been written in the 30's it would have been a John Carter pastiche, but when it was written it was more of a nod to Tolkien. It is, however, the basic plan for a D&D campaign, with much better prose. It is also the original "grim-dark" adventure with a possibly positive conclusion
It would make a wonderful series.

I also think Bill Adams and Cecil Brooks' completely unknown Ethan Larkspur books, The Unwound Way and The End of Fame could make a blockbuster series, though it would pretty much take James Cameron's effects crew to do the denouement.

And of course, if there ever was a need for a Logan's Run type series with a happier ending, Tanith Lee's Don't Bite the Sun books would be excellent.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 13, 2025 08:45 PM (rbvCR)

205 Didn't Patrick Stewart play Lenin in "Fall of Eagles"? I could look it up, but I'm lazy.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 08:45 PM (kpS4V)

206 >>1 Once again, no Summer School starring Mark Harmon.

Dear Lord, Duke, I saw that on TV in my misspent youth!

Posted by: Nazdar at December 13, 2025 08:46 PM (NcvvS)

207 And re book to movie.

TubiTV has The Last Train, with Jean Louis Trintignant and the merely cosmically lovely Romy Schneider. It's from Simenon's novel The Train, which I've not read in too long. Not a bad adaptation, from my memory of the book, but director/co-screenwriter Pierre Granier-Deferre blew the ending. His ending is probably more audience-pleasing than Simenon's darker finish, though. The flick is definitely worth a watch.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 13, 2025 08:46 PM (q3u5l)

208 but at the end the aliens just say “aw fukkit we’re outta here” and they smash everything to bits and go home.
Posted by: Tom Servo

They watched an episode about the Prime Directive and rearranged their whole society. Thermian out front shoulda toldja.

Posted by: gKWVE at December 13, 2025 08:46 PM (gKWVE)

209 Posted by: Shy Lurking Voter at December 13, 2025 07:47 PM (e/Osv)

Damn you reminded me of my most wanted sequel.

Allita : Battle Angel

My favorite girl power movie .

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:46 PM (KDPiq)

210 Sort of movie-adjacent. NPR is butthurt because 1) there were fewer abortions on TV this year and 2) it was sometimes portrayed as a shameful thing.

Because of course they're butthurt. Fucking ghouls.

https://tinyurl.com/ft4jvzpj

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 08:47 PM (IG3/x)

211 The sequel we really need is "Sharknado 7", or whatever number they're up to. That's a story and set of characters that really have a lot of potential left.

Posted by: a.moron at December 13, 2025 08:41 PM (X5Jzz)

TweakerShark. Because of all the fentanyl now in the Gulf of America waters. Have it blow into Venezuela and wreak havoc the the commies there.

Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 08:47 PM (WMHh6)

212 Didn't Patrick Stewart play Lenin in "Fall of Eagles"? I could look it up, but I'm lazy.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes

He was also Karla in the Alec Guinness "Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy"

Posted by: Tuna at December 13, 2025 08:47 PM (lJ0H4)

213 I like John Carter

"Virginiaaaa!"

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at December 13, 2025 08:48 PM (gDlxJ)

214 Patrick Stewart did a great Macbeth, in a modern updating of the story.

As did Ian McKellen, in a traditional production.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 08:48 PM (IG3/x)

215 Spartacus

Is Boobtacus?

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at December 13, 2025 08:48 PM (Kt19C)

216 Yeah that one would probably beva good sequel naybe even prequel fighting on zalem

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:48 PM (bXbFr)

217 True, I was waiting for years for the sequel to Buckaroo Banzai.

I guess it was too far out there and didn't make enough money.

I read that the rights to Buckaroo Banzai and any sequels had been sold multiple times, and these were the full rights, not options. Drugs may have been involved - at least that was my understanding.
The rights to the IP are completely tangled, and may never be resolved.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 13, 2025 08:49 PM (rbvCR)

218 Patrick Stewart was in Lynch's Dune too iirc. As Gurney Halleck, although I think that character was better in the miniseries.
Posted by: gKWVE at December 13, 2025 08:44 PM (gKWVE)

The part 2 of the new Dune made me revert back to liking Lynch's Dune better.

Dune part 1 was fantastic though.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:49 PM (KDPiq)

219
Didn't Patrick Stewart play Lenin in "Fall of Eagles"? I could look it up, but I'm lazy.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 08:45 PM (kpS4V)

Yes

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 13, 2025 08:50 PM (tgvbd)

220 One of the few sequels I enjoyed was the Robert Downy Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows. If the third one is EVER made I would probably get the DVD. But it's been so long Holmes and Watson will need canes to get around. Maybe they would investigate a murder at their old age home.

Posted by: JTB at December 13, 2025 08:50 PM (yTvNw)

221 Evening.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 13, 2025 08:50 PM (1Yy3c)

222 Caddyshack for spring.

Posted by: GWB at December 13, 2025 08:50 PM (K1PX7)

223 Book to movie? The Quran, done as a dark comedy.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at December 13, 2025 08:51 PM (Kt19C)

224 The series holds up quite well, by the way. Just don't expect a lot of fancy special effects, just some first-rate acting and storytelling.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 08:37 PM (IG3/x)

I think it still rates as best TV miniseries ever made. The cast was incredible, a list all the way through.
The character that stands out the most to me - and I think to everyone who watches it - is John Hurt’s Caligula. This is when I first realized that Hurt was a truly great actor; several versions of Caligula have appeared over the years, but Hurt’s portrayal is do skilled, and so compelling that you can never think of that character any other way. He made it his own.
In a similar way, I think the same about Peter Ustinov’s Nero.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 08:51 PM (k5cxK)

225 220 One of the few sequels I enjoyed was the Robert Downy Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows. If the third one is EVER made I would probably get the DVD. But it's been so long Holmes and Watson will need canes to get around. Maybe they would investigate a murder at their old age home.
Posted by: JTB at December 13, 2025 08:50 PM (yTvNw)

====

I suspect all hope has been given up for a third one.

A prequel series for Prime was announced in the last couple of weeks.

Downey Jr. Is just too expensive.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 08:51 PM (GBKbO)

226 I actively hated the trailers for that King Arthur movie, because it seemed the epitome of the 'wear a franchise name as a skin-suit' trope. It didn't look remotely Arthurian, it didn't look remotely Brittish... It looked like it was cut from the same cloth that D+ Willow, Netflix Witcher, or Amazon Wheel of Time, and Amazon Rings of Power would later be cut from.

You want to make a fantasy movie/tv show like that, fine. I've watched a few of them. (The Outpost was from that cloth, the Mythica movies were actually better than that cloth, and Curse of the Dragonslayer was better than anything else in the past decade) But for that, you have to sell your work on its own merits. Not by hijacking some other franchise that I already like.

Posted by: Castle Guy at December 13, 2025 08:51 PM (Lhaco)

227 223 Book to movie? The Quran, done as a dark comedy.
Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats

Careful. Might put an eye out.

Posted by: Salman at December 13, 2025 08:52 PM (gKWVE)

228 I just recently binged watched all 10 episodes of Shogun . I commented that it just confirmed my dislike of the Bushido code and a number of other Japanese cultural traditions that still exist.

On that note I also just watched Mr Baseball again with Tom Selleck. Held up great.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:55 PM (KDPiq)

229 Yeah i dont think it can work without downey though

And cumberbatchs sherlock is just a sociopath

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:55 PM (bXbFr)

230 I'm back home and the FYE at the mall is being liquidated. I picked up some movies for super fucking cheap.

A Star Is Born (Gaga/Cooper)
Apollo 13 (steelbook)
Bad Boys
Elizabeth/Elizabeth:The Golden Age
Exodus: Gods and Kings
Moana
Saving Mr. Banks
Thor: The Dark World

Rush Hour 2 (DVD)
The Hound Of The Baskervilles/Pursuit To Algiers (DVD)

Mind you, except for Apollo 13 and Bad Boys they're all used. $32 bucks for everything,

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 13, 2025 08:55 PM (1Yy3c)

231 World of Warcraft. The ending sets up the sequel's whole story arc.

Why has no one tried Mary Stewart's approach to the Arthurian legend? The Crystal Cave and The Hollow Hills are solid stories.

Posted by: Galt at December 13, 2025 08:55 PM (9UnaD)

232 167 Sequel to Risky Business has to be made!

Posted by: Lex at December 13, 2025 08:36 PM (y4H1r)
I don't know...Rebecca De Mornay 42 years later, might not look quite as hot now....

Posted by: zigggggy at December 13, 2025 08:56 PM (/Pwrg)

233 Watching Crown of Shadows on prime
So bad
AI slop
But there are dragons

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at December 13, 2025 08:56 PM (dE3DB)

234 I don't think it is too early to talk about the body of work that Taylor Sheridan is producing.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 13, 2025 08:56 PM (sDNVV)

235 I didn't realize how many Guy Ritchie movies I really liked.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:57 PM (KDPiq)

236 I just recently binged watched all 10 episodes of Shogun . I commented that it just confirmed my dislike of the Bushido code and a number of other Japanese cultural traditions that still exist.

On that note I also just watched Mr Baseball again with Tom Selleck. Held up great.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 08:55 PM (KDPiq)

If you liked the remake you should watch the original. It's even better. The remake focuses more on the Japanese stuff but the original focuses mostly on the white guy. You won't feel like it's repetitious.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 13, 2025 08:57 PM (1Yy3c)

237 What's that watermelon doing there?
Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 13, 2025 08:29 PM (Mk6+b)

In the book it was noted to be part of a project to make watermelons unbreakable. It was never discussed why.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 13, 2025 08:57 PM (rbvCR)

238 Stewarts really chewing the scenery in lifeforce

Posted by: Miguel cervantes at December 13, 2025 08:57 PM (bXbFr)

239 Always wanted a sequel to the 1999 film "Office Space."

[Never watched either the British or US TV series of the same name.]

Posted by: ShainS -- Bamboo Ruminant and GayFontoPhobe at December 13, 2025 08:58 PM (YmZuj)

240 Wondered when TJM will get to Kurosawa movies, should dress up as a Samurai

Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 08:59 PM (Ia/+0)

241 The character that stands out the most to me - and I think to everyone who watches it - is John Hurt’s Caligula.
Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 08:51 PM (k5cxK)

Oh, yeah. Definitely. To shine that brightly among THAT cast is a formidable challenge, and yet he pulled it off.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 09:00 PM (IG3/x)

242 240 Wondered when TJM will get to Kurosawa movies, should dress up as a Samurai
Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 08:59 PM (Ia/+0)

====

Gohan kudesai.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 09:00 PM (GBKbO)

243 Oh, TJM, I was mentions to the Horde the other day you need a sign off on your videos. Ex. Jerome Weiselberry, who is female, waves and says a high pitched squeaky "Bye!" You need something like that, but manlier. Maybe like "DYNOMIIIIIIIIITE!"

Also I loved your Christmas suit.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 13, 2025 09:00 PM (1Yy3c)

244 Haven't seen much of Taylor Sheridan's stuff except for Hell or High Water, which was way nifty; that closing scene between Jeff Bridges and Chris Pine alone is worth five times the price of admission.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 13, 2025 09:00 PM (q3u5l)

245 John Carter pissed me off. first, it should have been called John Carter of Mars. I understand that Princess of Mars may have implied a girly-movie to certain audiences, but you needed to at least highlight the sci-fi factor. Just calling it John Carter is...bland.

Second, this movie miss a golden opportunity for some truly subversive messaging! The Green Martians have a messed up society that produces a lot of evil people. But there was one Martain who was genuinely good hearted; Sola. And what made her good? She had parents. Not even overly sentimental parents, just parents that acknowledged her and cared for her. And that was all it took to create empathy in a society of psychopaths. That....would have been a truly inspiring message...

Posted by: Castle Guy at December 13, 2025 09:00 PM (Lhaco)

246 243 Oh, TJM, I was mentions to the Horde the other day you need a sign off on your videos. Ex. Jerome Weiselberry, who is female, waves and says a high pitched squeaky "Bye!" You need something like that, but manlier. Maybe like "DYNOMIIIIIIIIITE!"

Also I loved your Christmas suit.
Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 13, 2025 09:00 PMdudes ain't.

====

I definitely need something. They just stop now.

I like the suit, too!

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 09:01 PM (GBKbO)

247 223 Book to movie? The Quran, done as a dark comedy.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at December 13, 2025 08:51 PM (Kt19C)

Coming to a theater near you : Monty Python's "Life of Achmed".

Posted by: a.moron at December 13, 2025 09:01 PM (X5Jzz)

248 232...true, but I like that all the principal actors are still alive and you could do something interesting. Lana probably became successful at something. Guido is still slumming it. All of Joel's friends could reappear. I like to think Joel became exactly what his parents were and never did say f it and make his move.

Didn't Stewart have a minor part in Excalibur too?

Posted by: Lex at December 13, 2025 09:01 PM (y4H1r)

249 Oh, before I forget to mention, I was at Walmart and saw...

You know what I saw?

Tom Hanks coffee.

Let that sink in.

Tom Hanks coffee.

Start off your day with a strong cup of Tom Hanks in your mouth.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 13, 2025 09:02 PM (1Yy3c)

250 239 Always wanted a sequel to the 1999 film "Office Space."

[Never watched either the British or US TV series of the same name.]
Posted by: ShainS

'The Office' and 'Office Space' were two different things. I'm not aware of a British version of the movie 'Office Space', which was a Mike Judge flick (and one of my favorites).

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 13, 2025 09:02 PM (rii+a)

251 In the future, Sheridan will be remembered as one of the greats of our time.

Plus he's strong-willed enough that he regularly manages to get non-woke material past the Hollywood screechbots.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 09:03 PM (IG3/x)

252 John Carter pissed me off. first, it should have been called John Carter of Mars. I understand that Princess of Mars may have implied a girly-movie to certain audiences, but you needed to at least highlight the sci-fi factor. Just calling it John Carter is...bland.

Posted by: Castle Guy at December 13, 2025 09:00 PM (Lhaco)
----
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Just adding "of Mars" would have added some important context to the title.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 13, 2025 09:04 PM (ESVrU)

253 Office Space', which was a Mike Judge flick (and one of my favorites).
Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 13, 2025 09:02 PM (rii+a)

The new King of the Hill season was really good. Made me want a lot more. The story line is just how I imagined it .

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 09:04 PM (KDPiq)

254 Two best book to movies IMO are The Great Santini and Captains Courageous ( even though they changed the ending)
Posted by: the way I see it
-------

Interesting choices. For personal reasons, I'm not a fan of Conroy, but still a good choice.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 13, 2025 09:04 PM (XeU6L)

255 252 ----
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Just adding "of Mars" would have added some important context to the title.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 13, 2025 09:04 PM (ESVrU

====

Mars Needs Moms bombed, so Disney got scared of the Mars in the title, removing it, though the art is all JCM anyway, and it says John Carter of Mars at the end.

And adding the Mars would have done nothing for its box office.

Posted by: TJM's phone at December 13, 2025 09:05 PM (GBKbO)

256 Probably some people thought the movie was about the Noah Wyle character from ER.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 09:05 PM (IG3/x)

257 Taylor Sheridan: I just couldn't get into 'Yellowstone'. I couldn't overcome my general loathing of Beth Dutton. Horrible character. On the other hand, I think Sheridan was behind 'Longmire' which was very good. Enjoyed that one a lot.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 13, 2025 09:06 PM (rii+a)

258 Interesting choices. For personal reasons, I'm not a fan of Conroy, but still a good choice.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 13, 2025 09:04 PM (XeU6L)

I chose those two because I read the books of course and the movies didn't piss me off with how they told the story and the casting.was great.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 09:07 PM (KDPiq)

259 Office Space is a delight if only for the printer scene (and who hasn't wanted to do that to a printer?). It's a movie that you should probably definitely watch if you work in IT; of course, it's also a movie that maybe you probably shouldn't watch if you work in IT.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 13, 2025 09:07 PM (q3u5l)

260 239 Always wanted a sequel to the 1999 film "Office Space."

--

The IT Crowd Brit Com is quite funny

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at December 13, 2025 09:07 PM (dE3DB)

261 243 Oh, TJM, I was mentions to the Horde the other day you need a sign off on your videos. Ex. Jerome Weiselberry, who is female, waves and says a high pitched squeaky "Bye!" You need something like that, but manlier. Maybe like "DYNOMIIIIIIIIITE!"

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 13, 2025 09:00 PM (1Yy3c)

wow, somebody knows of her!!!! I feel shame for finding her kinda cute...cannot figure out her age...been doing videos for a decade or so....and her camera is like 20 years old...

Posted by: zigggggy at December 13, 2025 09:07 PM (/Pwrg)

262 > I couldn't overcome my general loathing of Beth Dutton. Horrible character.

Sheridan's one weakness (and it is a SERIOUS weakness) is that he just HAS to have an obnoxious blonde woman in every show. Sometimes more than one (e.g., Landman, an otherwise outstanding show).

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 09:09 PM (IG3/x)

263 'Wind River' was also a Taylor Sheridan flick (I think) and I really enjoyed that movie.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 13, 2025 09:09 PM (rii+a)

264 While not actual sequels, films that follow because of the original's success are usually terrible. Like the first three Star Wars movies, the three LOTR film are basically one movie. Everything that followed has been mostly disappointing. The Hobbit trilogy has some of the elements the worked for LOTR but the writers got too cute with the script and stretched it out way too long. That Helm Hammerhead animation just became another girl power thing. The Amazon Rings of Power fiasco should have been buried along with the careers of the entire production staff before a frame was filmed.

I can only hope these follow-ons led folks to read the books.

Posted by: JTB at December 13, 2025 09:10 PM (yTvNw)

265 Speaking of John Carter they have never made a good Tarzan movie imo. My second favorite book as a kid.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 09:11 PM (KDPiq)

266 you need a sign off on your videos.

TJM steps around a corner into view, dressed in a bathrobe. "Are you still here? The video's over. Go home."

Posted by: mindful webworker - TJM's Day Off at December 13, 2025 09:11 PM (lbDMw)

267 Taylor Sheridan- I like Tulsa King - it's quite ridiculous and Stallone is having so much fun hamming it uo.

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at December 13, 2025 09:11 PM (gDlxJ)

268 I'm confused, are you talking about The Office, Office Space, or Space 1999?

Actually a mashup of all 3 would be great.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 13, 2025 09:12 PM (Mk6+b)

269 I think Mike Judge worked in IT though I think he has a degree in Mathematics iirc.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 09:13 PM (KDPiq)

270 263 'Wind River' was also a Taylor Sheridan flick (I think) and I really enjoyed that movie.
Posted by: Puddleglum

----

I quite liked Wind River.
Reminds me of Longmire which then reminds me of Dark Winds.

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at December 13, 2025 09:14 PM (gDlxJ)

271 Was napping this afternoon but still way past my bedtime
Don't eat too much popcorn
And have a good night everyone

Posted by: Skip at December 13, 2025 09:15 PM (Ia/+0)

272 Sorry. The intertubes says Judge's degree is a BS in Physics.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 09:15 PM (KDPiq)

273 Hobbit trilogy has some of the elements the worked for LOTR but the writers got too cute with the script and stretched it out way too long

I quit watching the Hobbit movies the moment I saw Doctor Who as Radagast, riding a sleigh drawn by giant bunnies. Nope nope noppeity nope.

Look for the Hobbit Tolkien Edit someone did. Much better.

Posted by: mindful webworker - in a hole in the ground there lived a sequel at December 13, 2025 09:15 PM (lbDMw)

274 Hell or High Water was a hidden gem that I found in the Walmart DVD bin for 5 bucks.

I got it because I like jeff Bridges and Chris Pine, and I really like Ben Foster.

Great fucking movie.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, I Have Become Comfortably Lame at December 13, 2025 09:16 PM (0aYVJ)

275 wow, somebody knows of her!!!! I feel shame for finding her kinda cute...cannot figure out her age...been doing videos for a decade or so....and her camera is like 20 years old...
Posted by: zigggggy at December 13, 2025 09:07 PM (/Pwrg)

You should feel deeply ashamed for finding her kinda cute. For starters, she's SUPER cute. Also..*doing his best seagull impression*...MINE!

Anywho, my guess is she's mid to late 30s. That gray streak in her hair makes her look...mmmmmmmmm...

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 13, 2025 09:18 PM (1Yy3c)

276 I can't believe no one has mentioned:

Joker: Folie à Deux (2024)

It was sooooooo bad, purely unnecessary, in the incorrect format, and did nothing to enhance the first film. It was sooooooo bad that there was talk that the Director and primary actor did it as a F*ck You to people who enjoyed the first one.

Posted by: Orson at December 13, 2025 09:18 PM (dIske)

277 I can only hope these follow-ons led folks to read the books.
Posted by: JTB at December 13, 2025 09:10 PM (yTvNw)

Long time Tolkien fan here, and I completely agree with you as to the quality of the various things that have been tried.
What killed “the Hobbit” for me was that idiotic elf dwarf romance. Gag.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 09:19 PM (k5cxK)

278 You know what, there was a remastered Blu-ray edition of the theatrical version of theLOTR trilogy. I didn't get it and I'm wondering if I should go back tomorrow and grab it. I don't have the theatrical versions.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 13, 2025 09:20 PM (1Yy3c)

279 TJM convinced me to rent the Guy Ritchie movie, about King Arthur.

Posted by: Huck Follywood at December 13, 2025 09:20 PM (ytIvj)

280 I quit watching the Hobbit movies the moment I saw Doctor Who as Radagast, riding a sleigh drawn by giant bunnies. Nope nope noppeity nope.
----

This is the kind of thing one ought to see while tripping on pure Sandoz, not in a big-budget movie based on Tolkien.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 09:20 PM (kpS4V)

281 have an obnoxious blonde woman "

Redhead... but ok.

Posted by: man at December 13, 2025 09:22 PM (XuXeR)

282 Oh boy! Just saw in the NY Post that Amy Schumer is splitting from her husband. She's available and skinny.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 13, 2025 09:25 PM (D+mpw)

283 Love everything about Excalibur. Love the actors/actresses (though the dude playing Arthur was a bit of a plank), love the music (whoever thought of using Wagner was a genius), love the sets (that final battle between Arthur and Mordred, with the blood-red sun setting in the sea, was incredible). Boorman's direction was decent.

I didn't know about the new(er) movie. Will be watching.

Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts at December 13, 2025 09:26 PM (E66lT)

284 Someone up thread mentioned Captains Courageous. The 1937 version is the only film where I actually like Spencer Tracy.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 09:26 PM (k5cxK)

285 I always wanted a sequel to "The Once And Future King".

"Now, the problem is, how to divide five Afghans from three mules and have two Englishmen left over."

Posted by: Peachy Carnehan at December 13, 2025 09:31 PM (R/m4+)

286 I just want a big budget story accurate Gor film. Rated R with the T&A intact.

I would have really liked a Speed Racer sequel too.

Posted by: MAGA_Ken at December 13, 2025 09:32 PM (Vh9CX)

287 282 Oh boy! Just saw in the NY Post that Amy Schumer is splitting from her husband. She's available and skinny.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 13, 2025 09:25 PM (D+mpw)

. . . and still bugshit crazy. Remember Rule #1.

Posted by: a.moron at December 13, 2025 09:33 PM (X5Jzz)

288 I'm watching Along Came Polly right now. In my top five RomCom movies.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 13, 2025 09:33 PM (KDPiq)

289 You mean "The Man Who Would Be King?"

Play polo withDravit's head?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 09:34 PM (kpS4V)

290 252
----
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Just adding "of Mars" would have added some important context to the title.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 13, 2025 09:04 PM (ESVrU)

Even though they removed 'of Mars' from the title, the movie's logo was still a (very stylized) JCM. Not only was it pig-headed executive interference, it was lazy and incomplete executive interference...

Posted by: Castle Guy at December 13, 2025 09:34 PM (Lhaco)

291 Great scene from Excalibur...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAIeh0YarFs

Posted by: Lex at December 13, 2025 09:35 PM (y4H1r)

292 You mean "The Man Who Would Be King?"

Play polo withDravit's head?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 09:34 PM (kpS4V)

Oops...Yes. That's it. Thanks! Must have had King Arthur on the brain.

Posted by: Peachy Carnehan at December 13, 2025 09:36 PM (R/m4+)

293 The sequel we really need:
It's a Miserable Afterlife by Tim Burton
Clarence didn't get his wings after all.

Posted by: mindful webworker - the original at December 13, 2025 09:37 PM (lbDMw)

294 ***But mass audiences don't seem all that keen on it.
---

One Million Years B.C. had a budget of approximately $1.2 million and grossed around $8 million at the box office. This significant return marked it as a financial success, yielding a profit that far exceeded its production costs.

Deathstalker (1983) made on a budget of $457,000, $11.9 million worldwide at the box offic
---

Although, pre medeval the solution is obvious.
The problem with medieval fantasy films is too much development and not enough nekked.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at December 13, 2025 09:37 PM (ONKca)

295 Benedetta, thought you said Beretta. I was looking for the parrot.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at December 13, 2025 09:40 PM (ONKca)

296 233 ‘Book to movie? The Quran, done as a dark comedy.’

Which would be funnier? The movie or the unending string of terrorist attacks which would follow it?

Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 09:42 PM (fd80v)

297 This is the kind of thing one ought to see while tripping on pure Sandoz, not in a big-budget movie based on Tolkien.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 09:20 PM (kpS4V)

LOL! Exactly right!!

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 09:43 PM (k5cxK)

298 And this kid's outta here for the evening.

TJM, thanks for the thread.

Have a good one, gang.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 13, 2025 09:46 PM (q3u5l)

299 I like John Carter of Mars and the Barsoom novels (I've read the first six so far). But my understanding is that most fans of the novels hate the movie.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at December 13, 2025 09:47 PM (mFz+I)

300 277
‘ What killed “the Hobbit” for me was that idiotic elf dwarf romance. Gag.’

How did Tolkien ever write something like that?
I’m surprised he didn’t go to jail.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 09:48 PM (fd80v)

301 I recorded the Army-Navy Game and just finished it. Close game!

And so...SUCK IT BIG GREEN! Ha!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 13, 2025 09:49 PM (kpS4V)

302 296 233 ‘Book to movie? The Quran, done as a dark comedy.’

Which would be funnier? The movie or the unending string of terrorist attacks which would follow it?
Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 09:42 PM (fd80v)

Spoiler: The unending string of terrorist attacks happen regardless.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 13, 2025 09:50 PM (1Yy3c)

303 Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 13, 2025 09:06 PM (rii+a)

Dude...Beth Dutton has a stupendous rack. Why are you paying attention to her character?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 13, 2025 09:50 PM (n9ltV)

304 285

‘Now, the problem is, how to divide five Afghans from three mules and have two Englishmen left over."
’

I have heard that it’s difficult indeed to divide Afghans from mules.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 09:50 PM (fd80v)

305 300 277
‘ What killed “the Hobbit” for me was that idiotic elf dwarf romance. Gag.’

How did Tolkien ever write something like that?
I’m surprised he didn’t go to jail.
Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 09:48 PM (fd80v)

He didn't write that.
You can read the Hobbit in less time than it takes to watch the movie.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at December 13, 2025 09:52 PM (xcxpd)

306 > I have heard that it’s difficult indeed to divide Afghans from mules.
Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 09:50 PM (fd80v)

Usually it's goats. I think mules qualify you as transgender under Afghan law.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 13, 2025 09:55 PM (IG3/x)

307 305 300 277
‘ What killed “the Hobbit” for me was that idiotic elf dwarf romance. Gag.’

How did Tolkien ever write something like that?
I’m surprised he didn’t go to jail.
Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 09:48 PM (fd80v)

He didn't write that.
You can read the Hobbit in less time than it takes to watch the movie.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo

Yea, the book doesn't take long to read. Jackson could have just followed the book, for the most part, made one movie, and it would have worked fine, but nah.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 13, 2025 09:56 PM (rii+a)

308 305
‘ He didn't write that’

I figured it was some Hollywood bullcrap.

‘You can read the Hobbit in less time than it takes to watch the movie.’

I burnt up the better part of a flight back from Europe watching it.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 09:56 PM (fd80v)

309 How did Tolkien ever write something like that?
I’m surprised he didn’t go to jail.
Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 09:48 PM (fd80v)
---
He. Did. NOT!!!

basically the story was bent over a pinball machine and sodomized by shit stains hellbent on wrecking all the things.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, I Have Become Comfortably Lame at December 13, 2025 09:58 PM (0aYVJ)

310 I got to see a Q&A about storytelling back in my Sundance Film Fest era, and Stanton was one of the panelists. He's clearly brilliant, and incredibly passionate about stories. Maybe he should have started with a smaller live action movie before taking on this project. The sequels sound like they would have had cool plots!

I still don't get why films like this fail, and Avatar makes a billion with every movie. It boggles my understanding. The only thing I can think of is James Cameron understands showmanship, and how to sell a story in buzz and marketing before it hits theaters.

Maybe if it had been titled "Princess of Mars," it would have sold it better in the marketing?

Treasure Planet is another one that was so brilliant in what it did, for boy's adventure and making a pirate story sci-if, but then bombed so bad.

Boys need adventure films, and action, and princesses to save in another castle, and heroes to emulate. Hopefully that vacuum gets filled with positive stories at some point. A new Star Wars, a new indie jones. The directors Spielberg and Lucas mentored never really took up that baton.

Posted by: LizLem at December 13, 2025 10:00 PM (gWBY1)

311 199 70 I liked John Carter as well , but yes it needed way more boobs.

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 13, 2025 08:06 PM (k5cxK)

Just to be clear, do you mean more women exposing their boobs, or hot Martian women with more than two boobs?

Posted by: a.moron at December 13, 2025 08:44 PM (X5Jzz)

yes

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at December 13, 2025 10:01 PM (xcxpd)

312 Movie's over. ONT club is open. Bring your party hat.
https://acecomments.mu.nu/?post=417643

Posted by: mindful webworker - in Santa hat at December 13, 2025 10:01 PM (lbDMw)

313 309
‘ How did Tolkien ever write something like that?
I’m surprised he didn’t go to jail.
---
He. Did. NOT!!!

basically the story was bent over a pinball machine and sodomized by shit stains hellbent on wrecking all the things.’

This was the response I was expecting. LOL.
Tolkien had too much self respect to put something this ridiculous in his stories.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at December 13, 2025 10:02 PM (fd80v)

314 194 I miss Michael Bay.

The Rock is a great movie.

Armageddon is a good, enjoyable movie.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at December 13, 2025 08:43 PM (zZu0s)

-----

He should've gotten an Oscar for direction for the first Transformers movie. That movie is extremely well paced and expertly handles multiple story threads, better than Peter Jackson did in LOTR. I'm not even a big Bay fanboy buy I'll give credit to where credit is due.

Both Bay produced TMNT movies are great too. The first better than the second, but the opening of the second is absolutely epic.

Posted by: MAGA_Ken at December 13, 2025 10:04 PM (Vh9CX)

315 Yea, the book doesn't take long to read. Jackson could have just followed the book, for the most part, made one movie, and it would have worked fine, but nah.
Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 13, 2025 09:56 PM (rii+a)

----

It was a studio greed thing, they first required a two parter then doubled down on their greed and demanded a trilogy. Del Toro then quit and Jackson had to go back into the director's chair.

That is what I recall.

Posted by: MAGA_Ken at December 13, 2025 10:07 PM (Vh9CX)

316 My hot take on the Hobbit movies: Everything about Tauriel is fanfiction. However, it is very well-written fanfiction! The self-insert character is super-competent, but still has a valid reason for feeling oppressed; she has reached the limit of her career advancement. Her king is not unkind, but still dismissive of her. The chemistry between her and Kili is natural; he's a landless and poor (despite being a prince) and he's starstruck by her beauty and her homeland. She yearns to see the world beyond her forest, and he's a charming guy who' seen all the things she dreams about...It's got everything you could ask for in a fanfic!

Unfortunately, THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FANFICTION! This is supposed to be an adaptation of The Hobbit! We only get these movies once in a generation, and you just ruined our generation's chance!

Yet another movie ruined by studio demands. If they had just waited a few years, and let Peter Jackson finish a script before filming, and not force the project into an unnecessary trilogy... There were good moments in those movies, but a lot of unnecessary nonsense, as well.

Posted by: Castle Guy at December 13, 2025 10:15 PM (Lhaco)

317 Count me as a fan of "John Carter". Good script, good acting, excellent special effects. Its failure, though, came in part from having a lead who was handsome and athletic, but lacking leading-man charisma; and in part due to dreadful marketing. (It amazes me that the word "Mars" appeared nowhere.) It was fun, though, to see Ciaran Hinds and James Purefoy from "Rome" wearing kilts and swords again. Also, pulling ERB himself into the story at the end was a nice touch.

Posted by: Nemo at December 13, 2025 10:19 PM (4RPgu)

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