Axios: Your Turkey Has a Carbon Footprint and You Are Destroying the Environment by Celebrating Thanksgiving

You probably won't ponder your carbon footprint when you sit down to devour that Thanksgiving turkey -- but some food and climate activists say you should.
Why it matters: With climate change fading in importance on some U.S. lawmakers' priority lists, activists say even small steps from the public are needed.
The big picture: The beloved bird is considered more environmentally friendly than beef. But turkey still produces, in production and post-production, the greenhouse gas emissions responsible for global warming -- even more than chicken, according to the Environmental Working Group.
"Raising and processing a four-ounce turkey serving is the equivalent of nearly three miles' worth of tailpipe emissions," said Iris Myers, the group's senior communications manager.

A four ounce turkey?

Axios is a professionally edited media publication.

...
In 2016, Carnegie Mellon researchers calculated the state-by-state footprint of a typical feast, including roast turkey stuffed with sausage and apples, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie.
They found that meals prepared in Washington state and Vermont emitted the lowest amounts of carbon dioxide. Hydropower and wind provide about two-thirds of Washington's energy. while renewables provide almost all of Vermont's.
States that rely more on coal, such as Wyoming, West Virginia and Kentucky, had the highest Turkey Day emissions, the researchers found.

This is important research that I have been compelled to fund.

By the numbers: Thrown-away food is a big contributor to climate change. A new analysis by the anti-food waste group ReFED estimates that 320 million pounds of food will get tossed out this Thanksgiving.
That's the equivalent of more than 800,000 metric tons of carbon dioxide, or about the same as driving 190,000 gasoline-powered vehicles for a year, ReFED said.
Of those emissions, 4,800 metric tons of methane -- a potent greenhouse gas -- come from sending that food to landfills.
The bottom line: "Try not to buy more bird than you and your family will eat," Myers said.

Wellllll... generally I would say of course no one should buy and cook more food than they expect to eat, but Thanksgiving is an exception, because, of course, no one knows how many relatives and guests will show up. People make "too much food" because they don't want neighbors to show up without anything to offer them.

But most people will wind up eating most of that over the course of the week.

Thank you for ruining literally everything, Sanctimonious Sociopaths Satanic-Religious Fanatics.

Speaking of your carbon footprint: It is now cheaper to expand your carbon footprint than it's been since, well, Trump's first term.

Gas prices -- and food prices, and rent prices -- are at their lowest levels since covid shutdowns and Biden's printing of trillions of fake dollars.

Thanksgiving gas prices & meals haven’t been this low since the last time President Trump was in office. Inflation, interest rates & income taxes are also coming down! pic.twitter.com/cuGzoPbrSV
— Nicole Malliotakis (@NMalliotakis) November 26, 2025

Prices are generally down, Thanksgiving meals from Target and Walmart are significantly cheaper, and gas is the lowest it’s been in years.

Yes there are things to cherry-pick for being higher, but Trumpenomics is working.

America is becoming affordable.pic.twitter.com/SkdEKgSzAl
— Paul A. Szypula 🇺🇸 (@Bubblebathgirl) November 14, 2025

We have a lot to be grateful for as we travel this Thanksgiving.

Gas prices ⬇️
Rental prices ⬇️
Holiday spirits ⬆️@POTUS is dedicated to bringing in a GOLDEN AGE of TRANSPORTATION✈️ 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/EhzQvqxbln
— Secretary Sean Duffy (@SecDuffy) November 25, 2025

Gas prices near the lowest level in four years, according to AAA.

"A lot of this has to do with the fall in the price of oil, which couldn't be more timely as we get into Thanksgiving," Patrick De Haan, head of petroleum analysis for GasBuddy, explains. https://t.co/WD2JQ03HBt pic.twitter.com/naxjxSVm2s
— ABC News Live (@ABCNewsLive) November 25, 2025

Is everyone ready?

And is everyone here? Or are you already playing hooky?

I'm playing half-hooky. I wrote a bunch of posts last night and did a couple this morning so I'm kind of done for the day unless there's some breaking news. Knock wood!

Today's blogging won't be good. I aimed for "barely acceptable" and I nearly hit that mark. I figure most of you are tuned out, and the news is slow before and during holidays. (Again, knock wood.)

I have to run out to the store to get the holiday branded "Creamy Vanilla" Coke Zero. The store I tried to order from was out. I guess this is a new version of Vanilla Coke.

Question for you cooks: I have both an electronic thermometer and those little plastic pop-up turkey thermometers. Do those little plastic ones work well? If they're a couple of years old, do they still work?

Garsh I wouldn't want to produce even one excess CO2 molecule more than strictly necessary!

Posted by: Ace at 12:10 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Hola

Posted by: Dick the Bruiser at November 26, 2025 12:10 PM (5IH8V)

2 2nd

Posted by: Dick the Bruiser at November 26, 2025 12:10 PM (5IH8V)

3 Morning.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at November 26, 2025 12:10 PM (1Yy3c)

4 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:11 PM (Zz0t1)

5 3rd

Posted by: Dick the Bruiser at November 26, 2025 12:11 PM (5IH8V)

6 Nooded.

Posted by: Nazdar at November 26, 2025 12:11 PM (NcvvS)

7 Everything they expect YOU to do, but they'll never do.

Posted by: XTC at November 26, 2025 12:11 PM (UnA8+)

8 You probably won't ponder your carbon footprint when you sit down to devour that Thanksgiving turkey -- but some food and climate activists say you should.

You should've considered your carbon footprint of composing this shit article before you sat down to type it up.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:11 PM (Zz0t1)

9 Question for you cooks: I have both an electronic thermometer and those little plastic pop-up turkey thermometers. Do those little plastic ones work well? If they're a couple of years old, do they still work?

Posted by: Ace at 12:10 PM

I've always heard the pop-up ones are unreliable. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way!

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:12 PM (DRSnL)

10 "Why it matters: With climate change fading in importance on some U.S. lawmakers' priority lists, activists say even small steps from the public are needed."

This is why we should have open season on buffalo

Posted by: Ripley at November 26, 2025 12:12 PM (GUOwU)

11 the greenhouse gas emissions responsible for global warming

There is no such f*cking thing, you asspimple.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:12 PM (Zz0t1)

12 Axios.
LOL

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at November 26, 2025 12:12 PM (XQo4F)

13 And is everyone here? Or are you already playing hooky?

We're all in the car heading over the chez Ace.

Hope you have a huge bird.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:12 PM (77rzZ)

14 Oops.

Posted by: Thanatopsis at November 26, 2025 12:13 PM (5IH8V)

15 Dear Marxist Fucksticks:

Take all of your opinions, shine them up real nice, turn them sideways, and shove them straight up your roody-poo candy asses.

Sincerely,
Those of us Who Aren't Assholes.

Posted by: ballistic at November 26, 2025 12:13 PM (5aZAZ)

16 Where's the beef?

Posted by: Boss Moss at November 26, 2025 12:13 PM (1HZta)

17 Don't make me break my carbon footprint off in yo ass!

Posted by: Melodicmetal at November 26, 2025 12:14 PM (61TgR)

18 Ace, the plastic pop-ups are extremely unreliable. Go with the electronic.

Posted by: Nazdar at November 26, 2025 12:14 PM (NcvvS)

19 >>>You should've considered your carbon footprint of composing this shit article before you sat down to type it up.

The people who live in front of their computers never, ever acknowledge that they are contributing to "global warming." Never.

Posted by: ace at November 26, 2025 12:14 PM (1wjle)

20 Trust not the free pop up "thermometer".

Because it's free, it's worth the purchase price.

Happy Thanksgiving, ace, and all the morons and ettes.

Posted by: Joe Mama at November 26, 2025 12:14 PM (TezPK)

21 A four ounce turkey?

What hath metric wrought?

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at November 26, 2025 12:14 PM (1Yy3c)

22 >>>I've always heard the pop-up ones are unreliable. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way!

>>>18 Ace, the plastic pop-ups are extremely unreliable. Go with the electronic.

thank you.

Posted by: ace at November 26, 2025 12:14 PM (1wjle)

23 Digital thermometer FTW.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (Zz0t1)

24 Axios can kindly fuck right off.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (2/Rsn)

25 To be fair, the article said a "four ounce turkey serving.

Posted by: Denny Crane - But they are Still Assholes at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (i49OE)

26 Rather than expecting small steps from the public, perhaps the activists can go overboard with the amount steps they carry out.

Posted by: Curly Shuffle at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (Ed6Ua)

27 Don't we get this every year? How people celebrating TG are ruining the environment ?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (Nx5jP)

28 Re: Thermometers

The pop-up ones are useless and lead to an overcooked bird, and turkey is already difficult enough to make well.

Use your electronic one.

If you want to invest in a really good one, get a Thermapen One. Yes it's $90 but it's also the Ferrari of meat thermometers.

Posted by: ballistic at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (5aZAZ)

29 Self-willowed:

As I started approaching 29, I occasionally found myself indulging in the "If Only"s.

If only I'd done this, if only I'd done that...not that I hated my life or anything like that. I just felt I might've done better.

Then one night I suddenly realized, when I examined the whole idea thoroughly, that any of those changes giving me a "perfect" life, would mean that I wouldn't have the lovely and exciting Mrs naturalfake or the kiddos.

And no that would simply be intolerable. They are the best thing in my life and we as a family, despite our ups and downs, despite some hard times, have been very blessed by God.

And furthermore, I was being a huge dickweed to God by not acknowledging his complete generosity and being grateful for it. So, I decided that I needed to change the way I think.

I try to end every day thanking God for my life and my family I grew up in and my own family now, and for the day.

Anyway, these are the things in my life i'm most thankful for.

Posted by: naturalfake at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (iJfKG)

30 Rip that plastic thing out of your turkey before cooking.

Heating plastic in your food isn't my idea of a quality meal to eat.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (Zz0t1)

31 whoops hiya Barrel!

Posted by: Denny Crane - But they are Still Assholes at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (i49OE)

32 Low prices kill the planet. I knew it.

Posted by: KT at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (7vIsy)

33
A four ounce turkey?

A four ounce turkey

Posted by: Gilligan at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (pkeXY)

34 4 Oz ain't much. That's a commie Thanksgiving turkey ration.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (2/Rsn)

35 > "Raising and processing a four-ounce turkey serving is the equivalent of nearly three miles' worth of tailpipe emissions," said Iris Myers, the group's senior communications manager.
----------
Bet Iris sucks on a lot of "tailpipe emissions."

Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 26, 2025 12:16 PM (NwnyJ)

36 Nice job, Denny.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:16 PM (Zz0t1)

37
Aggggghhhh!

I've been italicized!!!

Avenge me!

Posted by: naturalfake at November 26, 2025 12:16 PM (iJfKG)

38 >>>20 Trust not the free pop up "thermometer".

i'm glad I checked with you guys. Okay, now I have to check if the electronic thermometer still works. I pretty much only use it on Thanksgiving.

Posted by: ace at November 26, 2025 12:16 PM (1wjle)

39 The red thermometers are for turkeys.

Posted by: Boss Moss at November 26, 2025 12:16 PM (1HZta)

40 Denny Crane, the Barrel summons you!

Posted by: Nazdar at November 26, 2025 12:16 PM (NcvvS)

41 Heating plastic in your food isn't my idea of a quality meal to eat.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (Zz0t1)

=====

CBD hardest hit.

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:16 PM (DRSnL)

42 My turkey has a boron-carbon footprint.

Posted by: PG at November 26, 2025 12:16 PM (3DUTJ)

43 Take your carbon footprint and shove it up your ass.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:17 PM (Zz0t1)

44 Typing too slowly with a Chorkie chin on my arm.

Posted by: Nazdar at November 26, 2025 12:17 PM (NcvvS)

45 Hyphen problems:

"four-ounce-turkey-serving"

Or maybe just:

"four ounce turkey-serving"

Also, fuck these guys.

Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at November 26, 2025 12:17 PM (asXVI)

46 Posted by: naturalfake at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (iJfKG

Very nice post. Thanks.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 12:17 PM (Nx5jP)

47 Or, wait, the classic way to edit it would be:

"four ounce serving of turkey"

Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (asXVI)

48 Take your carbon footprint and shove it up your ass.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:17 PM (Zz0t1)

=====

You're in a feisty mood today.

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (DRSnL)

49 The point of critical theory is to obtain the means with which to break anything. It's a language of pure subversion.

They call it "deconstruction" but it's really just destruction and they con you for the fun of it.

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (E0p3T)

50 A four ounce meal just pisses my stomach off for teasing it like that.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (Zz0t1)

51 Meanwhile a HIGHWAY is being put in the rain forest so all the limousine Marxists can beat off with terrific view

We can't hate these fuckers enough

Posted by: Melodicmetal at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (61TgR)

52 I try to end every day thanking God for my life and my family I grew up in and my own family now, and for the day.
Posted by: naturalfake

I've always thought there should be two words for "family" -- one for the family you were born into, and one for the family that you create by getting married and having kids.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (77rzZ)

53 Hi, Denny Crane.

Posted by: Denny Crane - I Fix Shit Quick. at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (i49OE)

54 ""And is everyone here? Or are you already playing hooky?""

Playing hooky. Was going to go to the shop and said fuck it. Nothing happening there that I can't do on friday, or next tuesday.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (snZF9)

55 How many 4 ounces per slab?

Posted by: Boss Moss at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (1HZta)

56 Time to end non profit status and make them taxable including all their donations. No more tax deductions for asshole whale donors either and ban foreign contributions to 501c3 or 501c4 organizations.

Posted by: whig at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (WDjG6)

57 Axios: Your Turkey Has a Carbon Footprint and You Are Destroying the Environment by Celebrating Thanksgiving

How many times do I need to say "fuck you" or "so what?'

to these a-holes till they stop gabbling their nonsense.

Posted by: naturalfake at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (iJfKG)

58
You're in a feisty mood today.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (DRSnL)

Hangovers do that.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (Zz0t1)

59 One day in the future instead of Microwave Ovens in every kitchen we'll have Nuclear Fusion MMR (Micro-Modular Reactors) to cook our Thanksgiving dinners.

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (OnxLp)

60 Low prices kill the planet. I knew it.
Posted by: KT at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (7vIsy)

That reminds me, but did you hear about the guy that died at Walmart?

Killed by falling prices.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at November 26, 2025 12:19 PM (1Yy3c)

61 I am ready in Northern Nevada.

Which means I will get my place in line at a $65 buffet at a casino tomorrow late morning with my oldest son and my Ex.

Good times.

Happy (almost) Turkey day, Horde.

Posted by: Czech Chick at November 26, 2025 12:19 PM (vK/Ja)

62 Hyphen problems:

"four-ounce-turkey-serving"

Or maybe just:

"four ounce turkey-serving"

Also, fuck these guys.
Posted by: moviegique

four-ounce-turkey serving.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:19 PM (77rzZ)

63 Go with the thermometer.

Posted by: RS at November 26, 2025 12:20 PM (SuU/K)

64 Your Turkey Has a Carbon Footprint and You Are Destroying the Environment by Celebrating Thanksgiving

I already had a teenage student inform me today that the pesticides being used by agribusiness are the same as gassed the Jews in WW2

I said, I don't think Zyklon B is being used by ADM or anybody these days

Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 12:20 PM (dCxaZ)

65 nobody sane takes Axios articles seriously.
They're a bunch of assholes.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 26, 2025 12:20 PM (xcxpd)

66 The people that write articles like that believe in separation of church and state while forcing their religion on you.

Posted by: NR Pax at November 26, 2025 12:20 PM (7xrfc)

67 That's why I'm making a roast this year. Because unlike you all I care about the planet.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2025 12:20 PM (viF8m)

68 Progs like to guilt trip people but Catholics are the experts at guilt so progs need to back off and stick to rioting.

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at November 26, 2025 12:20 PM (dE3DB)

69 As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
Les Nessman

Posted by: Old Blue at November 26, 2025 12:21 PM (up14Y)

70 >Raising and processing a four-ounce turkey serving is the equivalent of nearly three miles' worth of tailpipe emissions

----

good to know
k thanks

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:21 PM (AOsQT)

71 Is everyone ready?

I just have to go to the store to get a hostess gift for tomorrow

Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 12:21 PM (dCxaZ)

72 Dear Axios,

Fuck you.

Love,

Duke

PS Fuck you

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 26, 2025 12:21 PM (2UnvF)

73 I've always heard the pop-up ones are unreliable. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way!
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:12 PM (DRSnL)

Two thoughts on this comment.

1. Slow hanging curve ball across the plate
2. Used the pop-ups for years and never had an issue.

Posted by: Beartooth at November 26, 2025 12:21 PM (0714D)

74 "Question for you cooks: I have both an electronic thermometer and those little plastic pop-up turkey thermometers. Do those little plastic ones work well? If they're a couple of years old, do they still work?
"

Yes and yes, Ace

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 26, 2025 12:21 PM (xcxpd)

75 As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
Les Nessman
Posted by: Old Blue

*cough*
Arthur Carlson
*cough*

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:22 PM (77rzZ)

76 Progs like to guilt trip people but Catholics are the experts at guilt so progs need to back off and stick to rioting.

Catholics live under a really Big Tent. Italian Catholics traditionally are not so guilt-driven

Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 12:22 PM (dCxaZ)

77 Aldo Sean Duffy wants travelers to dress decently for plane rides.
Progs are aghast.

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at November 26, 2025 12:22 PM (dE3DB)

78 Raising and processing a four-ounce turkey serving is the equivalent of nearly three miles' worth of tailpipe emissions

Can we stop with the butt jokes, please?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at November 26, 2025 12:22 PM (mlg/3)

79 Iris Myers, the group's senior communications manager.
-----------------
I'm not that old, you know.
I could take this kind of news from a junior manager.
I'm almost ashamed, thinking of a grownup having to say it.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at November 26, 2025 12:22 PM (zdLoL)

80 You're bringing Hohos?

Posted by: Boss Moss at November 26, 2025 12:22 PM (1HZta)

81 Hey I know. Let’s all fly our private jets to Aruba and have a 4 day symposium on how we can address this issue.
- elites

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 26, 2025 12:22 PM (HW6XE)

82 Go with the electronic thermometer, the pop up ones never worked well for me but YMMV. My favorite thermometer ever is the thermopen, those rock.

Posted by: CaliGirl at November 26, 2025 12:22 PM (77W69)

83 Re pop up. Ditto--they are unreliable. Electronic with a wireless probe are useful if you have already made sure that it works as to temperature consistency and wireless connectivity.

FWIW, Roasting pans with a cooking rack inside it are useful if cooking something large like a Turkey.

They tend to keep temperatures consistent and moisture in balance so the turkey does not dry out.

High fat content meat does not require it but the drippings from such are usually delicious and well worth using in gravy or other cooking as well.

Posted by: whig at November 26, 2025 12:23 PM (WDjG6)

84 The leftists dogged determination to exterminate nice things marches on; an army of bitter women determined to deprive others of even momentary occasions of joy.

Posted by: Victor Tango Kilo at November 26, 2025 12:23 PM (DaYai)

85 F

U

C

K

O

F

F

!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:23 PM (Zz0t1)

86 Also Sean Duffy wants travelers to dress decently for plane rides.
Progs are aghast.

what??? and deprive the world of a million and a half cameltoes on chonky women??

Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 12:23 PM (dCxaZ)

87 I think it's been a decade since I attended a Thanksgiving dinner

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:23 PM (AOsQT)

88 "You will eat bugs and watch Wicked 2!"

Posted by: Victor Tango Kilo at November 26, 2025 12:23 PM (DaYai)

89 You should've considered your carbon footprint of composing this shit article before you sat down to type it up.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:11 PM (Zz0t1)

I assume all the "journalists" at Axios are either fags or dykes, since if they engaged in procreative sex, that would increase their carbon footprint. Which would amount to hypocrisy, and we know they are sincere in their beliefs.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (npFr7)

90 I can't even feel 4 oz. of anything on my tongue.

Posted by: JB Pritzker at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (RQBgz)

91 okay the electronic one seems to be working. thanks for warning me off the plastic ones.

Posted by: ace at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (1wjle)

92 86 Also Sean Duffy wants travelers to dress decently for plane rides.

sure Sean

get rid of TSA and I will

Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (emBoF)

93 Yes, yes, yes.

Posted by: Boss Moss at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (1HZta)

94 Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:23 PM (Zz0t1)

=====

Do you need a hug?

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (DRSnL)

95 A 4 ounce turkey? A meal fit for a mouse!

Posted by: LASue at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (lCppi)

96 "A new analysis by the anti-food waste group ReFED estimates that 320 million pounds of food will get tossed out this Thanksgiving."

---------------

...of which 90% is probably accounted for by turkey carcasses and vegetable peelings

Almost nobody tosses good Thanksgiving food.

Fuck off ReFED.

Posted by: Bigsmith at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (1Au9i)

97 Is Piper here today?

I have a question for her, since she is a Fitness Maven.

Or can any Hordian answer me this question:

If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?

Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (dCxaZ)

98 all good here procrastinating pie manufacturing

Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (emBoF)

99
I filled up the tank before driving down to SoCal yesterday. Couldn't believe it: only $4.16 at Costco. That is LOW.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (6yxOS)

100 65 nobody sane takes Axios articles seriously.
They're a bunch of assholes.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards
=========
Unfortunately everyone in DC, including GOP officeholders and staff, etc. take Axios seriously.

That is part of the problem with the national GOP party. They read and watch leftist media like their counterparts across the aisle.

Posted by: whig at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (WDjG6)

101 The Axios author should eliminate their (and I use "their" intentionally) carbon footprint by go to the top of the nearest tall building and leaping off it. To avoid using any electricity generated by burning coal, they should avoid the elevator and take the stairs.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (Apzx6)

102 Mommy, delicious carbon footprint, with taters and gravy.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (dK+Kv)

103
Do you need a hug?
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (DRSnL)

*twists big toe into the floor*

........yes.........

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (Zz0t1)

104 The heat of my hate for Axios is so intense that it could fully cook a large turkey.

Posted by: Frasier Crane at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (bNf8H)

105 I could have sworn there was white supremacy associated with turkey dinners. I guess that didn’t sell so now it’s on to Turkey is killing the erf. Lol

It never ends with these fucking lunatics.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (HW6XE)

106 "Why it matters:"

As a rule this goes into the "eat me" file, with a follow up to suck my carbon footprint.

Posted by: Trip at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (2DcgA)

107 Checking things off this morning before my walk...sweet potato peanut oat crumble is getting finished and put on top of the sweet potato mash for cooking tomorrow. Cran sauce and all pumpkin stuff is done. Daughter's bread it rising and just about ready for the oven (it's huge, so I'm feeling like she made enough).

After the walk, gonna work on tonight's dinner and fruit and cheese prep for tomorrow - can't preslice apples or asian pears, but can do the pineapple and clementines and the hard cheeses.

Decided my fridge wanted me to wait for giblet gravy til tomorrow.

Posted by: Nova Local at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (tOcjL)

108 Gotta do some stuff before weather sets in. Have fun and do not run with scissors.

Posted by: whig at November 26, 2025 12:26 PM (WDjG6)

109 I think it's been a decade since I attended a Thanksgiving dinner
Posted by: Don Black

Drunken rant, then passing out and facepalming into the cranberry sauce? Word about that kind of thing gets around quick.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:26 PM (77rzZ)

110 If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?

I think so, sure. try not to overeat still. cardio doesn't increase the metabolism like lifting does

Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 26, 2025 12:26 PM (emBoF)

111 Why it matters: With climate change fading in importance on some U.S. lawmakers' priority lists, activists say even small steps from the public are needed.

Translation: People are no longer listening to our nonsense, so we've got to come up with some new reason for hysteria.

Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 12:26 PM (Riz8t)

112 Is everyone ready?
And is everyone here? Or are you already playing hooky?

Hooky? I'm already drinking.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at November 26, 2025 12:26 PM (cxFcK)

113 I got yer pop-up thermometer right here!

Posted by: Every Guy's Hippocampus at November 26, 2025 12:26 PM (w9Wax)

114 the greenhouse gas emissions responsible for global warming

Ah, my favorite time of year!! When two major and important holidays, beloved by millions is crapped on by sad, mewling, twits who are angry at Dad. A tradition like no other!

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at November 26, 2025 12:26 PM (sAmhv)

115 86 Also Sean Duffy wants travelers to dress decently for plane rides.

***
No need for suits and ties. I'd be more than happy to avoid seeing pajamas and peek-a-boo, nude, spandex onesies on the very oversized gals.

Posted by: LASue at November 26, 2025 12:26 PM (lCppi)

116
If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?
Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (dCxaZ)

It'll take a bit, but yes.

Starting the exercise regimen will cause the body to panic store calories, but then will burn them as desired. Of course, a diet must be adhered to as well for maximum effectiveness.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (Zz0t1)

117 Rip that plastic thing out of your turkey before cooking.

Heating plastic in your food isn't my idea of a quality meal to eat.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (Zz0t1)

Do they still make the dial type of meat thermometer?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (npFr7)

118 Anyone who uses the word "symposium" needs their ass kicked

Posted by: Melodicmetal at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (61TgR)

119 {{{Sponge}}}

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (DRSnL)

120 97 Is Piper here today?

I have a question for her, since she is a Fitness Maven.

Or can any Hordian answer me this question:

If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?
Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (dCxaZ)

Is she walking at all now? And what is her goal? She'd lose slowly and reshape her body more than get a drastic weight loss (but she'd have great calves and legs develop)...

Posted by: Nova Local at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (tOcjL)

121 okay the electronic one seems to be working. thanks for warning me off the plastic ones.
Posted by: ace at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (1wjle)

Wow, you are way ahead of the game, cooking your turkey on Wednesday!

Posted by: Denny Crane - Sometimes I Misunderstand Things. at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (i49OE)

122 Isn’t a 4 oz service like a turkey sandwich? What the fuck kind of TG dinner do these retards have?

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (HW6XE)

123 My nephews are planning on deep frying the turkey in the driveway. The temperature is supposed to be in the low 30's with wind gust of 40 mph. I'm going to sit in a chair with a vodka and cranberry and watch the show.

Posted by: Indiana Lurker at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (3ZVqj)

124 Good to see that even Ewoks eat turkey and celebrate Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (77rzZ)

125 Question for you cooks: I have both an electronic thermometer and those little plastic pop-up turkey thermometers. Do those little plastic ones work well? If they're a couple of years old, do they still work?

I've seen no studies on their reliability, but the plastic ones are generally now held to be unreliable. Of course, those opinions may come from people who make $100 electronic ones.

Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 12:28 PM (Riz8t)

126 Trump needs to appoint a Mockery Czar. His entire job would be to mock the Left. Cabinet level position based on its cultural importance. He could speak up at every cabinet meeting on progress in mocking, marginalizing and demoralizing the Left.

Posted by: Ordinary American at November 26, 2025 12:28 PM (h/ffs)

127 88 "You will eat bugs and watch Wicked 2!"

Posted by: Victor Tango Kilo at November 26, 2025 12:23 PM (DaYai)

What's the carbon footprint of collecting, processing, storing, and shipping bugs for human consumption?

SMACK!

OK, shuttin' up over here, Boss!

Posted by: Gref at November 26, 2025 12:28 PM (5rh/l)

128 Unfortunately everyone in DC, including GOP officeholders and staff, etc. take Axios seriously.

That is part of the problem with the national GOP party. They read and watch leftist media like their counterparts across the aisle.
Posted by: whig at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (WDjG6)

Word

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 26, 2025 12:28 PM (xcxpd)

129 "the greenhouse gas emissions responsible for global warming"

Global warming was the reason for both the extreme hurricane season that was predicted and for the actual unusually mild season with no hurricanes making landfall.

Posted by: Ripley at November 26, 2025 12:28 PM (GUOwU)

130 Vanilla Coke? I'm afraid I'm going to need to see your Man Card.

Posted by: Delurker at November 26, 2025 12:28 PM (NhiOW)

131 126 Trump needs to appoint a Mockery Czar. His entire job would be to mock the Left. Cabinet level position based on its cultural importance. He could speak up at every cabinet meeting on progress in mocking, marginalizing and demoralizing the Left.

I want this job

Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 26, 2025 12:28 PM (emBoF)

132 Defrost comes before deepfry.

Posted by: Boss Moss at November 26, 2025 12:28 PM (1HZta)

133 If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?
Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (dCxaZ)

If she cuts carbs to the bone, kills sugar and walks, yeah...the pounds WILL come off.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 26, 2025 12:29 PM (xcxpd)

134 Speaking of useless carbon footprints: when the rats shut down the government again in January, is there a plan besides being outraged and offended on the talk shows ?

To ask the question is to answer it.

Posted by: Going deep. Out. at November 26, 2025 12:29 PM (sa3+D)

135 Nah, everyone is either dead or estranged or back East
-----

> I could have sworn there was white supremacy associated with turkey dinners.
---

uh, hello, they keep the white meat separate from the dark meat

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:29 PM (AOsQT)

136 I give less than zero fucks what people wear on a plane.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 26, 2025 12:29 PM (HW6XE)

137 *swoons*

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:29 PM (Zz0t1)

138 Man...the Dow Jones has been coo coo banana balls lately

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 12:29 PM (aTgV0)

139
Axios: "You probably won't ponder your carbon footprint when you sit down to devour that Thanksgiving turkey -- but some food and climate activists say you should."

You can kiss my ass you America hating turd sniffer.

Posted by: BifBewalski at November 26, 2025 12:29 PM (QVmho)

140 Chickens will eat za bugs.

Posted by: Boss Moss at November 26, 2025 12:29 PM (1HZta)

141 I think my Scotch also has a carbon footprint

A twofer

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at November 26, 2025 12:29 PM (ItWcy)

142 What is a four ounce turkey? A pigeon maybe.

Store by me had the new Vanilla Coke and the next day it was all gone.

Posted by: morigu at November 26, 2025 12:29 PM (+O3/H)

143 I have to run out to the store to get the holiday branded "Creamy Vanilla" Coke Zero. The store I tried to order from was out. I guess this is a new version of Vanilla Coke.
____________

Pour a little heavy whipping cream into whatever soda you're drinking. A teaspoon is maybe 40 or 50 calories. Turns it into a poor man's Italian cream soda.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at November 26, 2025 12:30 PM (XvL8K)

144
Wow, you are way ahead of the game, cooking your turkey on Wednesday!
Posted by: Denny Crane - Sometimes I Misunderstand Things. at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (i49OE)

He's cooking it the 'sun tea' way, just setting it in the window, letting the sun do it's thing.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:30 PM (Zz0t1)

145 Be thankful Greta didn't turn your turkey green.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 26, 2025 12:30 PM (pkeXY)

146 One day in the future instead of Microwave Ovens in every kitchen we'll have Nuclear Fusion MMR (Micro-Modular Reactors) to cook our Thanksgiving dinners.
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (OnxLp)

And we will have to marinate the turkey in a basin of Liquid Plutonium to get that old-fashioned home-cooked flavor.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:30 PM (npFr7)

147 118 Anyone who uses the word "symposium" needs their ass kicked
Posted by: Melodicmetal at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (61TgR)

Is that better or worse than a case of the Mondays?

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 26, 2025 12:30 PM (HW6XE)

148 Oh good, the troll has opinions on something.
This is always classic.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 26, 2025 12:30 PM (xcxpd)

149 When I decide to I can really pack away an amazing quantity of food; love to eat! Especially on Thanksgiving… So I look forward to having a yyuuugggeeee carbon footprint tomorrow. Can’t wait

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:30 PM (YobFY)

150 I got yer pop-up thermometer right here!

Posted by: Every Guy's Hippocampus

Ah, the single-sensor, heat-seeking missile, aka the one-eyed trouser snake.

Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 12:30 PM (Riz8t)

151 Vanilla Coke just sounds like root beer to me.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (77rzZ)

152 Happy Thanksgiving Eve, Ace!

I frequent a lot of low-cost cooking YTers. It's amazing how cheerful the commenters are despite the audience being Social Security recipients and a lot of people raising kids. As soon as I get on a financial advice channel, it's full of "some people can't afford to save $5 a week" and "nobody can survive in tRump's economy !!!"

There are two separate worlds.

Posted by: NaughtyPine at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (oy1iR)

153 "Also Sean Duffy wants travelers to dress decently for plane rides."

"Thass Raycissst!"

Posted by: The little black kid who screams "Thass Raycisssst!" at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (Apzx6)

154 Then one night I suddenly realized, when I examined the whole idea thoroughly, that any of those changes giving me a "perfect" life, would mean that I wouldn't have the lovely and exciting Mrs naturalfake or the kiddos.

And no that would simply be intolerable. They are the best thing in my life and we as a family, despite our ups and downs, despite some hard times, have been very blessed by God.

Posted by: naturalfake at November 26, 2025 12:15 PM (iJfKG)

As Jean-Luc Piccard said in the TNG episode "tapestry"- "My life had loose threads, and when I pulled at those loose threads it unraveled the tapestry of my life".

I used to think that all the time, I used to think about those threads. What if I never went into music, what if I just took over my father's business, or cut my hair and took that 75K a year job..in 1990, and on and on. It all pointed to the fact that I wouldn't be here in this form, unrecognizable. No Mrs B, different friends, different house...no, I'm exactly where I need to be.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (snZF9)

155 If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?
Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (dCxaZ)

=====

It really depends on the person. My sister can walk around the block once a day and drop weight. I can walk 10 miles a day and not lose a pound if I don't change what I'm eating.

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (DRSnL)

156 The weekend is here

Have I mentioned I H8 my coworkers lately?

Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (+qU29)

157 Can you fry a turkey in beer?

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (aTgV0)

158 Your Turkey Has a Carbon Footprint

Not as much as the Ford EarthFucker does:
https://tinyurl.com/5c28mmyu

(Goes to archive.org which references a meme posted in 2010 at the "Sharp as a Marble" blog, which itself is building on the meme started by the "Say Uncle" blog.)

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (O7YUW)

159 One day in the future instead of Microwave Ovens in every kitchen we'll have Nuclear Fusion MMR (Micro-Modular Reactors) to cook our Thanksgiving dinners.
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 26, 2025 12:18 PM (OnxLp)

And we will have to marinate the turkey in a basin of Liquid Plutonium to get that old-fashioned home-cooked flavor.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:30 PM (npFr7)

Didn’t Doc Brown already invent this?

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (YobFY)

160 Not enough filibustering, blue slipping, talk show yapping, or photo opping going on out there. - your GOP senate.

Posted by: Going deep. Out. at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (sa3+D)

161 I'm sure they used plenty of Electricity creating that bogus Turkey study... heat in the office, lights, power for computers, lots of phone calls... Internet to do the research...

All electricity has a carbon footprint, even solar due to how the panels are manufactured...

So, what's the carbon footprint of yer study? or to paraphrase... what's the Carbon Footprint of Libers BullShit?

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (mP0Kj)

162 If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?
Posted by: kallisto

There was an older lady in my neighborhood that started walking 3 miles a day starting last June. Now her family has no idea where she is.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (cxFcK)

163 Axios can esad.

Posted by: mr tmz at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (rJ48h)

164 Carnegie Mellon

Motto: 5 times the cost of Pitt and a mile further away from The "O".

Posted by: DaveA at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (FhXTo)

165 Also Sean Duffy wants travelers to dress decently for plane rides.

sure Sean

get rid of TSA and I will

-----
Its a valid point. I can't wear a belt because the metal buckle will require me to remove the belt for TSA. Have to be prepared to remove shoes too.

Posted by: Crusader at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (TN0g+)

166 Do they still make the dial type of meat thermometer?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (npFr7)

Analog? Like the one I have for my turkey fryer? I'm sure they do.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (Zz0t1)

167 Let me expel some carbon up your fucking asses leftards

after I finish eating a tasty turkey with my keto stuffing

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Patiently Awaiting My Pre-Ordered AI Powered Fembot at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (HYKHz)

168 PSA: If you are using wireless probe thermometers, make sure they're plugged in and charging today to avoid that Oh Shit moment tomorrow.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (2UnvF)

169 "knock wood"

Hehehehehehe

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (36PRH)

170 LOL... Maybe a specially-mounted shelf with a nice Southern exposure?

Posted by: Denny Crane - Sometimes I Misunderstand Things. at November 26, 2025 12:33 PM (i49OE)

171 Axios is burning electricity to print their shitgarbage articles. They should commit hari kari.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at November 26, 2025 12:33 PM (Ffc+8)

172 I'm playing half-hooky. I wrote a bunch of posts last night and did a couple this morning so I'm kind of done for the day unless there's some breaking news. Knock wood!
_________________________________

I'm half tempted to recreate the Great Molasses explosion/ flood of 1919 Boston so ACE can relax and watch is Anime.

Posted by: Orson at November 26, 2025 12:33 PM (dIske)

173 the word I don't like to read in comments is

'methinks'

unless you're Shakespeare, just don't

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:33 PM (AOsQT)

174 Oh boy, a process engineering question! My time to, well not shine, but maybe give off a dim glow if you turn out the lights and squint.

The pop up ones are not as accurate, but they are better than nothing. Their true advantage is that they are placed (generally) at the right depth and that is more important than accuracy. The problem with the electronic ones is people poke them in too deep or too shallow or into the wrong part, or they don't give them time to react.

The plastic is FDA approved (our food sees a lot of plastic before it gets to the table. Many foods are cooked or pasteurized in plastic) and the mechanism is reliable, even when a few years old.

I use both.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 26, 2025 12:33 PM (lWy3j)

175 162 If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?
Posted by: kallisto

She'll at least feel better.. I used to do that and more a day but my sciatica has slowed that down.. Don't feel nearly as good now

Posted by: It's me donna at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (VE6XX)

176 When I decide to I can really pack away an amazing quantity of food; love to eat! Especially on Thanksgiving… So I look forward to having a yyuuugggeeee carbon footprint tomorrow. Can’t wait

I can be a slow learner at times, but one thing I have definitely learned is that overeating is not worth the pain. I actually tend to eat a bit less during the TG meal than a regular dinner because I remember too many times when I didn't, and deeply regretted it.

Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (Riz8t)

177 Traveled for work regularly for 20 years. Always tried to get to the airport early in order to sit at the bar in the concourse and watch the costumes on the women. Occasionally jaw-dropping.

Posted by: Nazdar at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (NcvvS)

178 I dont know if I remember right but I read somewhere along the lines that some of these flaccid ding dong fugmunchers jetting around in the world in their private planes produce more carbon by one or more of these trips then you would ever produce in a LIFETIME

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Patiently Awaiting My Pre-Ordered AI Powered Fembot at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (HYKHz)

179 Eating the turkey raw would be one way leftists could lower its carbon footprint.

Posted by: Ripley at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (GUOwU)

180 "Some" food and climate activists say...

If Ace was a 'disinformation expert' I want to be a 'some'

Posted by: Lex at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (l5xX+)

181 The key to turkey is brining in the sink before cooking.

Posted by: Boss Moss at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (1HZta)

182 'methinks'

unless you're Shakespeare, just don't
Posted by: Don Black

Ods Bodkins!

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (77rzZ)

183 Do they still make the dial type of meat thermometer?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Yeah, the bi-metal thermos are still out there and still inaccurate. Most cooks just use the 'thermo-pen' digital thermos.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (mlg/3)

184 >>When I decide to I can really pack away an amazing quantity of food; love to eat! Especially on Thanksgiving… So I look forward to having a yyuuugggeeee carbon footprint tomorrow. Can’t wait

One of the biggest downsides to aging is I can't eat the way I could when I a kid.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (viF8m)

185 You probably won't ponder your carbon footprint when you sit down to devour that Thanksgiving turkey -- but some food and climate activists say you should.
---
Then maybe they could listen to me about pounding sand.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:35 PM (krQz2)

186 173 the word I don't like to read in comments is

'methinks'

unless you're Shakespeare, just don't
Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:33 PM (AOsQT

Methinks thoust doth protest too much.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at November 26, 2025 12:35 PM (Ffc+8)

187 Very rare Boston Molasses explosion reference.

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 12:35 PM (aTgV0)

188 I want to make more Turkey now...

Posted by: Inogame at November 26, 2025 12:35 PM (53oGX)

189 no, I'm exactly where I need to be.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (snZF9)

Everything happens for a reason.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:35 PM (Zz0t1)

190 Happy Pre-Thanksgiving, Ace, Cobs, and Horde!

I'm thankful for all of you in gray box land. Even the low quality trolls.

Posted by: Moderate Salami, lurking at November 26, 2025 12:35 PM (JDHJM)

191 "You will eat ze bugz, but since you white supremacists cling to your religion and your Thanksgiving, we will allow you to form the bugz into the shape of a turkey, for now. You're welcome." Klaus

Posted by: illiniwek at November 26, 2025 12:35 PM (vbXSk)

192 177 Traveled for work regularly for 20 years. Always tried to get to the airport early in order to sit at the bar in the concourse and watch the costumes on the women. Occasionally jaw-dropping.
Posted by: Nazdar at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (NcvvS)
----
Flights to and from Las Vegas are always a people-watching bonanza.

Posted by: ballistic at November 26, 2025 12:36 PM (5aZAZ)

193 181 The key to turkey is brining in the sink before cooking.
Posted by: Boss Moss at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (1HZta)

Brine in an igloo water cooler while defrosting. Learned this from Alton Brown. He used a remote thermometer to make sure it stays below 40 degrees.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at November 26, 2025 12:36 PM (Ffc+8)

194 'methinks' unless you're Shakespeare, just don't

*************

Thats transphobic anyway

The correct usage is theythinks

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Patiently Awaiting My Pre-Ordered AI Powered Fembot at November 26, 2025 12:36 PM (HYKHz)

195 One of the biggest downsides to aging is I can't eat the way I could when I a kid.
Posted by: JackStraw

One Thanksgiving when I was a kid, I ate so much that I threw up. True story.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:36 PM (77rzZ)

196 They can go fk themselves with this carbon footprint crap

Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2025 12:36 PM (+qU29)

197 Great! A turkey thread! AoS never fails us...

My 4 lb bone-in breast did not totally thaw by this morning so I'm doing the cold water in sink thing.
It's working well.
My question is: since I can't do 24 hrs of salting, is whatever I can manage okay? Probably 18-20 hrs?
Forgive my cluelessness- this is only the second one I've ever cooked.
Thanks!

Posted by: sal at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (f+FmA)

198 That article makes me want to crop dust a hippy sit-in.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (Zz0t1)

199 Hi, Crusader

You kindly asked for a Scripture verse earlier. The fellow who normally puts then up ( I'm forgetting his name . Too little sleep) had a very nice one earlier but here is something from the psalms:

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!"

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (ix8EF)

200 I can be a slow learner at times, but one thing I have definitely learned is that overeating is not worth the pain. I actually tend to eat a bit less during the TG meal than a regular dinner because I remember too many times when I didn't, and deeply regretted it.
Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (Riz8t)

Through experience I can now reliably reach the “sweet spot” where I’ve eaten an incredible amount but just an eyelash short of being uncomfortable. This takes practice

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (YobFY)

201 Its a valid point. I can't wear a belt because the metal buckle will require me to remove the belt for TSA. Have to be prepared to remove shoes too.
Posted by: Crusader at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (TN0g+)

=====

Get Pre-Check.

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (DRSnL)

202 I traveled a lot when I was younger. Got upgraded often and I’d get the stink eye from old farts in first or business. Cuz god forbid I was wearing flip flops, shorts and a t shirt. The horror!!

I even had some comments like are you sure you’re in the right cabin? Yeah old man I’m in the right cabin, now if you’ll excuse me I need to order a drink before takeoff.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (HW6XE)

203 Thanksgiving Eve is the time for hookeying.

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (aTgV0)

204 >******** thoust doth protest too much.

Posted by: AlaBAMA
----

I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (AOsQT)

205 178 I dont know if I remember right but I read somewhere along the lines that some of these flaccid ding dong fugmunchers jetting around in the world in their private planes produce more carbon by one or more of these trips then you would ever produce in a LIFETIME

If you haven't seen this clip from the series Landman, it's well worth your time.

https://youtu.be/fmbZwxEnAFc

Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (Riz8t)

206 'methinks'

unless you're Shakespeare, just don't
Posted by: Don Black

*raises hand*

Guilty......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (Zz0t1)

207 You kindly asked for a Scripture verse earlier. The fellow who normally puts then up (I'm forgetting his name. Too little sleep)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

Marcus T.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (77rzZ)

208 A four ounce turkey?

Axios is a professionally edited media publication.
---
What you've never heard of a turkey quarter-pounder?!

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (krQz2)

209 What? These idiots are still on the carbon dioxide kick.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (/lPRQ)

210 196 They can go fk themselves with this carbon footprint crap
Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2025 12:36 PM (+qU29)
---
Just think of all the methane they emit while writing those articles.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (36PRH)

211 199 - That was Psalm 107 vs1.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (ix8EF)

212 That article makes me want to crop dust a hippy sit-in.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (Zz0t1)

=====

They wouldn't notice, with all the BO and dreadlock funk.

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (DRSnL)

213 He's cooking it the 'sun tea' way, just setting it in the window, letting the sun do it's thing.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:30 PM (Zz0t1)

LOL... Maybe a specially-mounted shelf with a nice Southern exposure?

Posted by: Denny Crane - Sometimes I Forget to Paste the Post I'm Commenting On. at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (i49OE)

214 If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?

Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (dCxaZ)

Depends on caloric intake. Not joking. Any movement will ALWAYS be better unless there are joint issues in which case, swim.

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 12:39 PM (E0p3T)

215 Musk, please take me away from these marxist.

Posted by: thug dolphin at November 26, 2025 12:39 PM (EyfuW)

216 no, I'm exactly where I need to be.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (snZF9)

Everything happens for a reason.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:35 PM (Zz0t1)

In my case, sometimes the reason has been: I was a dumbass

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:39 PM (YobFY)

217 165 Also Sean Duffy wants travelers to dress decently for plane rides.
**
I remember my mother making us wear ties and blazers when we traveled by air.

Posted by: Ordinary American at November 26, 2025 12:39 PM (h/ffs)

218 If you haven't seen this clip from the series Landman, it's well worth your time.

**************

Ive been meaning to watch this show too, might do it for the holidays

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Patiently Awaiting My Pre-Ordered AI Powered Fembot at November 26, 2025 12:39 PM (HYKHz)

219 I have turned into Dad. I budgeted 2 hours to get the oil changed before work. Reason: day before thanksgiving, I figured a bunch of people would probably have left it too late and need their oil changed.

It wasn't that busy, they guys were just slow as molasses and I still had an hour left over.

FWP.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at November 26, 2025 12:39 PM (bss/y)

220
Flights to and from Las Vegas are always a people-watching bonanza.
Posted by: ballistic at November 26, 2025 12:36 PM (5aZAZ)

People watching in Vegas is always entertaining let alone in the airport.

Posted by: CaliGirl at November 26, 2025 12:39 PM (77W69)

221 They wouldn't notice, with all the BO and dreadlock funk.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (DRSnL)

Way to blow mud on my parade.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:39 PM (Zz0t1)

222 Kid made my crumble topping - she made enough for 2.5 of my sweet potato tins...so I used more than I would to top the potatoes and then still saved a bag of topping. Told her we'd just do a 2nd fruit-type crumble on Fri/Sat if we run out of a leftover side...I've got discounted Aldi's mixed fruit bags in my freezer that would make it a 5 minute prep.

Glad I kept overall quality control for cooking. She wants to do more to help Thanksgiving, but it's growing pains. Although better she made way too much than too little...

Posted by: Nova Local at November 26, 2025 12:40 PM (tOcjL)

223 In my case, sometimes the reason has been: I was a dumbass
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:39 PM (YobFY)

We've ALL been there......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:40 PM (Zz0t1)

224 I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (AOsQT)
---
That's what she said.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:40 PM (krQz2)

225 Anyone who uses the word "symposium" needs their ass kicked

Hey, I read The Symposium in first-year philosophy. Later read it in Attic.

Symposium means "Drinking Party." You have to really mean it.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at November 26, 2025 12:40 PM (zdLoL)

226 Sponge is Bill Shakespeare?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at November 26, 2025 12:40 PM (bss/y)

227 >>Methinks thoust doth protesteth overmuchly.

FIFY.

Think my brain broke.

Posted by: Nazdar at November 26, 2025 12:40 PM (NcvvS)

228 I am digging Landman

great show
the 'wife' character is nuckin' futz

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:40 PM (AOsQT)

229
It wasn't that busy, they guys were just slow as molasses and I still had an hour left over.

FWP.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

You can rotate the tires!

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (XQo4F)

230 Isn't these the time for the traditional TG article from leftists on " How to convince your relatives they are ignorant dolts because they are conservative -but do it nicely."?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (ix8EF)

231 Vanilla is for poor people who can't afford chocolate.

When I was a kid I thought vanilla meant "plain", literally. Because it was clear to me even then that vanilla had little in common with chocolate. I was probably a teenager before it came to me that vanilla was an actual flavor, rather than a lack of flavor.

Posted by: Crusader at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (TN0g+)

232 Analog? Like the one I have for my turkey fryer? I'm sure they do.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (Zz0t1)

Entirely mechanical. A bimetal strip bends as it is heated, and a linkage moves the dial pointer. So, yes, analog.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (npFr7)

233 Im probably the only one who gets his turkey from Rudys BBQ for TG

I dont know how they do it, but its somehow the tastiest turkey Ive ever eaten

Im sure the 5000 grams of sodium they add to it has something to do with it as well

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Patiently Awaiting My Pre-Ordered AI Powered Fembot at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (HYKHz)

234 In holiday news, I'm 3D Printing a Nakatomi Plaza Advent Calendar, complete with a Hans Gruber figure.

There are two figures, one is dimensional, the other is flat.

Pretty nifty.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (XV/Pl)

235 197 Great! A turkey thread! AoS never fails us...

My 4 lb bone-in breast did not totally thaw by this morning so I'm doing the cold water in sink thing.
It's working well.
My question is: since I can't do 24 hrs of salting, is whatever I can manage okay? Probably 18-20 hrs?
Forgive my cluelessness- this is only the second one I've ever cooked.
Thanks!
Posted by: sal at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (f+FmA)

Yes, it will be fine. Just do it as soon as you can.

Posted by: Nova Local at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (tOcjL)

236 Anyone who uses the word "symposium" needs their ass kicked
Posted by: Melodicmetal
-----
Is that better or worse than a case of the Mondays?
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald

Plural Form of "Symposium"

The plural form of "symposium" is "symposia."
Alternative Plural Form

Another acceptable plural form is "symposiums."
Usage

Symposia is commonly used in academic and formal contexts.
Symposiums is also correct and can be used interchangeably in less formal settings.

Both forms refer to gatherings where experts discuss specific topics or present research.

Posted by: Wesley Crusher at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (QVmho)

237 Sean Duffy is kind of an idiot.

People dressed nicer overall pre-60s and dressing nicely for air travel was a side effect of men just wearing suits and ties most of the time.

Blame the 60s. Damn hippies.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (Ffc+8)

238 A turkey thread with a couple hundred comments and not a single use of jive. The age of jive is over.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (XvL8K)

239 224 I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:37 PM (AOsQT)
---
That's what she said.
Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:40 PM (krQz2)

*nods, satisfied*

Posted by: Anal Otters at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (bss/y)

240 Every year under the junta prices increased by about 20%, of which half was inflation.

Arguably the worst economy the US has ever had because the Great Depression didn't include hyperflation.

Posted by: 18-1 at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (sKqQm)

241 I filled up the tank before driving down to SoCal yesterday. Couldn't believe it: only $4.16 at Costco. That is LOW.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 26, 2025 12:25 PM (6yxOS)

------------

$2.79 @ Costco here (in Northern AZ) -- and they're predicting a 15- to 30-cent reduction in price by Christmas.

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (oT0b1)

242 "Symposium means "Drinking Party." You have to really mean it.
Posted by: Way, Way Downriver"

hah

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (aTgV0)

243 230 Isn't these the time for the traditional TG article from leftists on " How to convince your relatives they are ignorant dolts because they are conservative -but do it nicely."?
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM

If memory serves, that requires hot chocolate and footy pajamas.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at November 26, 2025 12:42 PM (XQo4F)

244 PSA: If you are using wireless probe thermometers, make sure they're plugged in and charging today to avoid that Oh Shit moment tomorrow.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 26, 2025 12:32 PM (2UnvF)
==
Did mine last night. The ThermoPosts say it can withstand deep frying the turkey - any one have any experience with that?

Posted by: Black JEM at November 26, 2025 12:42 PM (GZYu7)

245 My grandfather was part of inventing something that was HUGE at the time. One thing lead to another and he was essentially 'beat to the punch,' so it didn't come to fruition.

Had it, he would've been filthy rich, my dad would NEVER have married my mom and I would not be here, nor would my daughter.

For everything, there is a reason.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:42 PM (Zz0t1)

246 Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:38 PM (77rzZ)

Thanks. I knew it was something with an M.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 12:42 PM (ix8EF)

247 little plastic pop-up turkey thermometers. Do those little plastic ones work well? If they're a couple of years old, do they still work?

Posted by: Ace

Late the party!

If you like dry over cooked turkey=y use that popup POS.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at November 26, 2025 12:42 PM (TwTFS)

248 sn't these the time for the traditional TG article from leftists on " How to convince your relatives they are ignorant dolts because they are conservative -but do it nicely."?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (ix8EF)

They flood the zone with those when they believe they are winning. Right now they are in "cut your relatives out of your life because it will punish them when they can't be exposed to your greatness" mode.

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 12:43 PM (E0p3T)

249 Sponge is Bill Shakespeare?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at November 26, 2025 12:40 PM (bss/y)

I’ve been assuming that Sponge is David Hasselhoff and he picked the nic because he had a cameo in that one SpongeBob movie

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:43 PM (YobFY)

250 Simposeum - A museum of simp posers.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:43 PM (krQz2)

251 "Symposium means "Drinking Party." You have to really mean it.
Posted by: Way, Way Downriver"

Well, it was trivia night last night at my local symposium.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:43 PM (Zz0t1)

252 People dressed nicer overall pre-60s and dressing nicely for air travel was a side effect of men just wearing suits and ties most of the time.

Blame the 60s. Damn hippies.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (Ffc+8
Pajamas ain’t for flying to Chacago.

Posted by: Eromero at November 26, 2025 12:43 PM (i+bC1)

253 Posted by: Quarter Twenty at November 26, 2025 12:42 PM (XQo4F)

You're right. LOL

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 12:43 PM (ix8EF)

254
I’ve been assuming that Sponge is David Hasselhoff and he picked the nic because he had a cameo in that one SpongeBob movie
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:43 PM (YobFY)

And I'm a pop star in Germany.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:44 PM (Zz0t1)

255 231 Vanilla is for poor people who can't afford chocolate.

When I was a kid I thought vanilla meant "plain", literally. Because it was clear to me even then that vanilla had little in common with chocolate. I was probably a teenager before it came to me that vanilla was an actual flavor, rather than a lack of flavor.
Posted by: Crusader at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (TN0g+)

Hard disagree.

Good Vanilla Ice Cream with Chocolate Syrup applied in the correct amount, is better than almost any chocolate ice cream.

Sidenote: Best is scoop of vanilla and scoop of this dark chocolate ganache ice cream private selection (the Kroger premium brand.)

Posted by: Aetius451AD at November 26, 2025 12:44 PM (bss/y)

256 yeah I think that would be the worst on a plane, 2nd to crashing

getting stuck next to a goat-smelling a-hole MFer

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:44 PM (AOsQT)

257

That's a commie Thanksgiving turkey ration.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

There is tryptophan...er, iron in your words.

Probably tofurkey given Haxios.

Posted by: imp at November 26, 2025 12:44 PM (g6TN6)

258 If memory serves, that requires hot chocolate and footy pajamas.

***********************

I remember the asshole who was featured in that propaganda piece

You'll be surprised to know that in real life he was truly well, an asshole

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Patiently Awaiting My Pre-Ordered AI Powered Fembot at November 26, 2025 12:44 PM (HYKHz)

259 If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?
Posted by: kallisto

Is depend
After menopause, probably won't lose weight from the walking but will get more fit, which indirectly will lead to weight loss, specially if she starts substituting exercise endorphins for emotional eating.
Only food restriction will cause weight loss

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at November 26, 2025 12:44 PM (6U1c2)

260
*Yes, it will be fine. Just do it as soon as you can.*

While you're alone.
And wash your hands afterwards.

Posted by: Always sage advice at November 26, 2025 12:44 PM (XQo4F)

261 From what I can tell they're doing a Biden-Kamala now in the UK. And the UK doesn't have the wherewithal or foundation to withstand it. It's cloward piven on steroids. The commies are going for the brass ring, Trump or no Trump.

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 12:44 PM (E0p3T)

262 Way to blow mud on my parade.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:39 PM (Zz0t1)

=====

That's what I'm here for.

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:45 PM (DRSnL)

263 >>no, I'm exactly where I need to be.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at November 26, 2025 12:31 PM (snZF9)

Berserker, there have been exactly 3 times in my life when I knew God put me where I was for a reason. Probably why my faith never really faltered.

Posted by: Nazdar at November 26, 2025 12:45 PM (NcvvS)

264 Funny, I was just commenting elsewhere about the Progressive mindset of the perfect being the enemy of the good.

Also, "A four ounce turkey?"
Well, they said it was a serving, so more than one to a turkey. But, still, who the heck thinks 4oz of turkey is a serving? More like 8oz. And, how many mealworms are in 4oz?

Lastly, that "typical feast" isn't, at my house. Lamb, roast beast, no apples in my dressing, potato knishes, homemade corn bread, all kinds of veggies (no mushroom soup in anything!), and sometimes a bacon-wrapped turkey breast (because we just won't a whole turkey among 4 of us). I've done vegetarian stuffed peppers, sauerbraten, spaetzle, kugels, gyros, and some year, kimchi. I'm giving thanks, you know?

Posted by: GWB at November 26, 2025 12:45 PM (1DMFi)

265

I was probably a teenager before it came to me that vanilla was an actual flavor, rather than a lack of flavor.
Posted by: Crusader

Did you still have any of your own teeth by then?

Posted by: imp at November 26, 2025 12:45 PM (g6TN6)

266 I thought everything meant drinking party.

Like that Global warming "meeting" in Bali where everyone flew in on private jets.

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 12:45 PM (aTgV0)

267 how long has it been since I took a plane?

the armrests had ashtrays

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:45 PM (AOsQT)

268 fuck off axios

Posted by: alpine_beer at November 26, 2025 12:46 PM (EH7ZV)

269 Entirely mechanical. A bimetal strip bends as it is heated, and a linkage moves the dial pointer. So, yes, analog.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (npFr7)

Add the mercury switch and you've got your old school HVAC thermostat.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:46 PM (Zz0t1)

270 Sponge is Bill Shakespeare?
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Doof is Bill Shakespeare. Sponge is Sir Francis Bacon, who really writes the stuff.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:46 PM (77rzZ)

271 ace I found the plastic pop-up thinggys in turkey breast (bone-in) worked reasonably well back when I could find that particular format of turkey - now it's either full bird or frozen deboned breast meat, far as I have been able to see.

But if you have an instant-read electronic one, use that.

Posted by: rhomboid at November 26, 2025 12:46 PM (U/Byj)

272 Every year under the junta prices increased by about 20%, of which half was inflation.

Arguably the worst economy the US has ever had because the Great Depression didn't include hyperflation.
Posted by: 18-1

What is up with that?
I was promised hyperinflation.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 26, 2025 12:46 PM (/lPRQ)

273 A turkey thread with a couple hundred comments and not a single use of jive. The age of jive is over.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (XvL8K)

----------------

All the jive jokes were mined (Jive Mind?) throughout yesterday's turkey thread.

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 26, 2025 12:46 PM (OnxLp)

274 That's what I'm here for.

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:45 PM (DRSnL)

I wouldn't have you any other way.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:46 PM (Zz0t1)

275 We non marxist have a secret handshake and free call girls.

Posted by: thug dolphin at November 26, 2025 12:46 PM (EyfuW)

276 AXIOS can suck a wet greasy Thanksgiving meal turd out of my asshole.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at November 26, 2025 12:47 PM (xvV+O)

277 fuck off axios
Posted by: alpine_beer at November 26, 2025 12:46 PM (EH7ZV)

It really should be said. Often.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:47 PM (Zz0t1)

278 While you're alone.
And wash your hands afterwards.
Posted by: Always sage advice at November 26, 2025 12:44 PM (XQo4F)

And keep your "hands" off that apple pie!!!

Posted by: Denny Crane - You Know What I Mean at November 26, 2025 12:47 PM (i49OE)

279 gas is the lowest it’s been in years.
---
Because of the Biden inflation, a lot of people can't see that in adjusted dollars, it's actually cheaper than what it has been.

However, wages and salaries lost out to inflation during the prime time of inflation-denial when inflation was raging, so I don't know that we've quite caught up to "adjusting for inflation" dollars.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:47 PM (krQz2)

280 Yeah, turkey is not like a steak (which you are used to thinking by weight because that is both how you buy it in the store and how you order it at a restaurant.)

Turkey, you just grab a good looking amount.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at November 26, 2025 12:47 PM (bss/y)

281 Mercury switches can be fun. Tragically only was able to play with them a little. Not connected to furnaces or AC.

Posted by: rhomboid at November 26, 2025 12:47 PM (U/Byj)

282 If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?
Posted by: kallisto

Warning… a humblebrag is on the way…

I once trained for and completed an Ironman triathlon which obviously means I was constantly exercising for like 6 plus months. During this time I GAINED WEIGHT. Because all the exercise made me constantly hungry and I ate like a lunatic…. I conclude that losing weight requires both diet and exercise… but mostly diet

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:48 PM (YobFY)

283 Dear Axios,

When it comes to this topic, most of Americans feel like this.....

https://youtu.be/C6PNc9KN50M

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:48 PM (Zz0t1)

284 What is up with that?
I was promised hyperinflation.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 26, 2025 12:46 PM (/lPRQ)

--------------

"You were promised merely transitory hyperinflation, h8r!"

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 26, 2025 12:48 PM (EeAvm)

285 Yeah, the bi-metal thermos are still out there and still inaccurate. Most cooks just use the 'thermo-pen' digital thermos.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at November 26, 2025 12:34 PM (mlg/3)

Even an "inaccurate" thermo can be useful if it is consistent. And the "digital" ones are really analog at heart. The sensor is some sort of thermistor, the resistance of which varies with temperature. That feeds into some electronics, and an A/D converter to drive the display.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:48 PM (npFr7)

286 The Left cannot abide anyone actually experiencing "joy" - it is that simple. And the extreme of the Left, White Women, are the most joyless bunch of scolds there is and others actually experiencing happiness drives them insane.

Posted by: Little Larry Sellers at November 26, 2025 12:48 PM (xaNfJ)

287 I'm doing my part to make emissions. I burned some natural gas making cornbread this morning and tomorrow I will burn some more making dressing, mashed potatoes, and maybe a peach cobbler.

My brother is cooking the turkey and oven baking sweet potatoes to carry on the family tradition.

Posted by: huerfano at November 26, 2025 12:48 PM (98kQX)

288
All the jive jokes were mined (Jive Mind?) throughout yesterday's turkey thread.
Posted by: ShainS

Hey. I'm right here.

Posted by: Barbara Billingsley at November 26, 2025 12:48 PM (XQo4F)

289 What's the carbon footprint on a bag of dicks, Axios?

Maybe that's what you should have this Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:48 PM (krQz2)

290 AXIOS can suck a wet greasy Thanksgiving meal turd out of my asshole.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at November 26, 2025 12:47 PM (xvV+O)

That's hot!

Posted by: Pete Buttigieg at November 26, 2025 12:49 PM (Zz0t1)

291 You kindly asked for a Scripture verse earlier. The fellow who normally puts then up ( I'm forgetting his name . Too little sleep) had a very nice one earlier but here is something from the psalms:

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!"
Posted by: FenelonSpoke
-----

Excellent choice, thank you!

Posted by: Crusader at November 26, 2025 12:49 PM (TN0g+)

292 But “destroying the environment” never tasted so good. Especially when it comes with a side of liberal tears.

Posted by: Nostradamus at November 26, 2025 12:49 PM (/NPcU)

293 Extremely stupid paragraph structure: Because it is really stupid.

The big picture: GFY in your stupid colon

The bottom line: I want a typographer to jam so many ::: up your squeeker that you are left with nothing but a broke ; for life

It's worse than listicles

Posted by: banana Dream at November 26, 2025 12:49 PM (3uBP9)

294 The reason liberals go crazy around Thanksgiving...

It's the thanks part.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:49 PM (krQz2)

295 Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 12

Thanks for letting me know.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 12:49 PM (Nx5jP)

296
I have a vague memory that Patrick DeHaan of GasBuddy (second vid) made a big fool of himself recently. Something regarding gas prices, in fact.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 26, 2025 12:49 PM (6yxOS)

297 276 AXIOS can suck a wet greasy Thanksgiving meal turd out of my asshole.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at November 26, 2025 12:47 PM (xvV+O)
________
Or a tailpipe. That would lead them to a ZERO carbon emissions level.

Posted by: Eeyore at November 26, 2025 12:49 PM (s0JqF)

298 Why are thermometers red?

Mercury isn't red.

fk is up with that?

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 12:50 PM (aTgV0)

299 I once trained for and completed an Ironman triathlon which obviously means I was constantly exercising for like 6 plus months. During this time I GAINED WEIGHT. Because all the exercise made me constantly hungry and I ate like a lunatic…. I conclude that losing weight requires both diet and exercise… but mostly diet
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:48 PM (YobFY)

There is also the buildup of muscle, which weighs more than fat.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:50 PM (Zz0t1)

300 Looking forward to Axios' write up on tree bark soup and earthworm dumplings.

Posted by: Ben Had at November 26, 2025 12:50 PM (sDNVV)

301 Do you want to discuss the carbon footprint for TRANSING A KID??? WELL AXIOS????

You carbon footprint assholes can fuck right off with your uncontrolled irrational anxiety. TAKE A PILL OR SOMETHING.

Posted by: Mr. Manners at November 26, 2025 12:51 PM (1ZivA)

302 I’m thinking Axios will have an article around Super Bowl time warning about how the big game causes husbands to beat their wives…

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:51 PM (YobFY)

303 "It's the thanks part.
Posted by: Axeman "

Can you imagine a liberal actually thanking someone?

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 12:51 PM (aTgV0)

304
The reason liberals go crazy around Thanksgiving...

It's the thanks part.
Posted by: Axeman

============

Also the giving part. They'd much rather take.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 26, 2025 12:51 PM (6yxOS)

305

uh, hello, they keep the white meat separate from the dark meat
Posted by: Don Black

Yo, Franklin had his own side of the table, you know.

Posted by: imp at November 26, 2025 12:51 PM (g6TN6)

306 Mercury switches can be fun. Tragically only was able to play with them a little. Not connected to furnaces or AC.

Posted by: rhomboid
===

I used them as tilt switches in machinery. Also I used mercury relays for high load (50-100 amps) and high cycles . They had lots of quick silver in them. When you shook them you could feel all of the mercury.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (xvV+O)

307 237 Sean Duffy is kind of an idiot.

People dressed nicer overall pre-60s and dressing nicely for air travel was a side effect of men just wearing suits and ties most of the time.

Blame the 60s. Damn hippies.
Posted by: AlaBAMA

He's trying to move the Overton Window. Cut him some slack.

Posted by: NATO at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (Dv3i1)

308 They stuff their turkey with pumpkin pie, or what they call it on the street now, Bumpkin Pie

Posted by: CSI's very own ICE-T at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (3uBP9)

309 The Left cannot abide anyone actually experiencing "joy" - it is that simple. And the extreme of the Left, White Women, are the most joyless bunch of scolds there is and others actually experiencing happiness drives them insane.

Posted by: Little Larry Sellers at November 26, 2025 12:48 PM (xaNfJ)
---
There problem is mainly the distribution of joy.

It's illegitimate if only some people "can" experience joy.

They define the reason for joy as material, so not everybody has the "same reasons to be joyful", in their book.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (krQz2)

310 I conclude that losing weight requires both diet and exercise… but mostly diet
Posted by: LinusVanPelt

I've lost over 50 lbs. since my diabetes diagnosis. Some of it was due to exercise, but most of it was due to portion control -- and cleaning up my diet, of course.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (77rzZ)

311 The beloved bird is considered more environmentally friendly than beef. But turkey still produces, in production and post-production, the greenhouse gas emissions responsible for global warming

🚨 Stop the presses!!! 🚨
We are receiving an important update!

You should see the diesel burned to harvest your quinoa and your kale.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (rYMt6)

312 I'm proud I am not traveling half way across the country for the holiday. Not because of any environmental impact. I just don't like to travel. Especially by air. I'd rather enjoy the holiday than put up with all the hassle and expense. I can enjoy a good meal and watch football where I am. I can talk to relatives anytime, hell I have a phone.

Posted by: Case at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (5Je/N)

313 Why are thermometers red?

Mercury isn't red.

*cough*

Posted by: Dr. Edward Bailey at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (Riz8t)

314 I once trained for and completed an Ironman triathlon which obviously means I was constantly exercising for like 6 plus months. During this time I GAINED WEIGHT. Because all the exercise made me constantly hungry and I ate like a lunatic…. I conclude that losing weight requires both diet and exercise… but mostly diet
------

Two things, you gained some muscle, which weighs more than fat. Also, you may have mis-remembered your "before" weight. Because I know when I was training for a half-marathon that running anything more than 10 miles in a go would spike the calories burned to be the equivalent of living TWO days in a one day period. So if you were running and biking and swimming to the level of training that you would need to complete a Triathalon, I bet you didn't gain any weight.

Posted by: Crusader at November 26, 2025 12:53 PM (TN0g+)

315 OT:

First Lady is having a WONDERFUL time with our daughter after arriving yesterday morning.

I will miss them tomorrow, but am happy to know they're happy together.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:53 PM (Zz0t1)

316 Why are thermometers red?

Mercury isn't red.

fk is up with that?
Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 12:50 PM (aTgV0)

The red ones are alcohol-filled.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:53 PM (npFr7)

317 Can you imagine a liberal actually thanking someone?
Posted by: eleven

For all the horrible things the Pilgrims did to the Native Americans? No Thanks!

Posted by: Chuck Martel at November 26, 2025 12:53 PM (Dv3i1)

318 Nature manages waste through a process called decomposition. Even lefties eventually are decomposed.

Posted by: Coki at November 26, 2025 12:53 PM (Wkrcf)

319 Nothing makes a leftard more miserable than someone else being happy.

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 12:53 PM (E0p3T)

320 Sean Duffy is kind of an idiot.

Posted by: AlaBAMA

He's trying to move the Overton Window. Cut him some slack.

Posted by: NATO at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (Dv3i1)
---
Agreed.

It is a little cringe, but I counter that with "so what".

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:54 PM (krQz2)

321 Thank you, Nova!
On that right now.
And will make broth with the backbone, for real gravy.

I will do a surgical scrub of my hands and Clorox the sink- my mom was an OCD nurse...

Posted by: sal at November 26, 2025 12:54 PM (f+FmA)

322 You should see the diesel burned to harvest your quinoa and your kale.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (rYMt6)

Drive your battery car, peasant. Never you mind the incredible raping of Earth required to manufacture the batteries.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:54 PM (Zz0t1)

323 Good for you Bulg.

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 12:54 PM (aTgV0)

324 Symposium:

Formerly known in the Dark Times as Uranium

Posted by: Dr. Zaius at November 26, 2025 12:54 PM (w9Wax)

325 Why are thermometers red?

Mercury isn't red.

fk is up with that?
Posted by: eleven

Contrasting colors.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2025 12:54 PM (rYMt6)

326 'methinks'

unless you're Shakespeare, just don't
Posted by: Don Black

------

Yes. And using "whiff of the grapeshot" should be considered an instant admission that one is 75 years of age or older.

Posted by: Crusader at November 26, 2025 12:54 PM (TN0g+)

327 @320 People choose to dress comfortably, probably a side effect from years of being packed like cattle onto planes with no legroom for people over 5'5".

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at November 26, 2025 12:55 PM (36PRH)

328 I will do a surgical scrub of my hands and Clorox the sink- my mom was an OCD nurse...
Posted by: sal

Yeah, raw meat triggers my OCD big time -- and especially raw poultry. That's why my wife always deals with the bird.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:55 PM (77rzZ)

329 First Lady is having a WONDERFUL time with our daughter after arriving yesterday morning.

I will miss them tomorrow, but am happy to know they're happy together.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:53 PM (Zz0t1)

You’re a good man Charlie Brown

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:55 PM (YobFY)

330 e extreme of the Left, White Women, are the most joyless bunch of scolds there is and others actually experiencing happiness drives them insane.
==
Rethinking the whole " no yellow" thing.

Posted by: Hunter B at November 26, 2025 12:55 PM (1ZivA)

331 Brine in an igloo water cooler while defrosting. Learned this from Alton Brown. He used a remote thermometer to make sure it stays below 40 degrees.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at November 26, 2025 12:36 PM (Ffc+

Mine is sitting pretty in a cooler right now, surrounded by ice cubes and delicious brine.

Posted by: LASue at November 26, 2025 12:56 PM (lCppi)

332 There was an older lady in my neighborhood that started walking 3 miles a day starting last June. Now her family has no idea where she is.
----

Yep. The saying "Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in their shoes" is important for two reasons: 1, you're a mile away when you let the criticism fly, and 2, you have their shoes.

Posted by: Crusader at November 26, 2025 12:56 PM (TN0g+)

333 If you have a deep freeze, today's a good day to pick up cheap turkeys.

Posted by: bonhomme at November 26, 2025 12:56 PM (Yp6az)

334 First Lady is having a WONDERFUL time with our daughter after arriving yesterday morning.

I will miss them tomorrow, but am happy to know they're happy together.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:53 PM (Zz0t1)

=====

That's nice. I miss my kiddo. I think he's flying from Japan to Korea today. If not, it's tomorrow.

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:56 PM (DRSnL)

335 ou’re a good man Charlie Brown
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:55 PM (YobFY)

Thanks.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:56 PM (Zz0t1)

336 That Axios article is AI generated. No way do they need to pay somebody to produce this drek.

Posted by: Ripley at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (GUOwU)

337 There problem is mainly the distribution of joy.

It's illegitimate if only some people "can" experience joy.

They define the reason for joy as material, so not everybody has the "same reasons to be joyful", in their book.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (krQz2)

Hard disagree. They don't want ANYONE to experience joy ever. The "distribution" and "fairness" stuff is a feint to have the capacity to systematically remove the joy from everywhere. How could one justify it otherwise?

That's why all their solutions always lead to misery. Not a lack of foresight - it is purpose and planning.

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (E0p3T)

338 327 @320 People choose to dress comfortably, probably a side effect from years of being packed like cattle onto planes with no legroom for people over 5'5"

It's really not that difficult to dress well for airline travel. Nobody expects black tie and tux, but don't show up in your pajama bottoms, with sandals and nasty, untrimmed toenails. It's common courtesy.

Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (Riz8t)

339 I used them as tilt switches in machinery. Also I used mercury relays for high load (50-100 amps) and high cycles . They had lots of quick silver in them. When you shook them you could feel all of the mercury.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (xvV+O)

Mercury is fun stuff. I'm so old I remember sixth grade Science class, the teacher let us immerse our hands into a large beaker of the stuff. Strange sensation, and it took a fair bit of effort to overcome the buoyancy.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (npFr7)

340 I don't have much family anymore (I'm not complaining, just a fact) so it's really nice to read everyone's comments about their excitement over Thanksgiving. May everyone enjoy! It's not traditional, but I'm starting the smoker this afternoon for some pork ribs overnight, a nip or two of Wild Turkey, and more than one cigar.

Posted by: Frasier Crane at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (bNf8H)

341 >>>Sean Duffy is kind of an idiot.

Yeah, this was a stupid own goal.

If you're traveling first class and able to skip the disrobing and groping, sure.

If you got to do naked cartwheels through TSA dealing with angry black woman on a bad day only to be crammed into a sardine can with the smelly poors, where you can't move your legs for six hours, and where have to risk some dim bulb sky waitress spilling wine on you? Yeah, GFY.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (dK+Kv)

342 Turkey is bad. Especially the white meat.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (gwhfk)

343 Why are thermometers red?

Mercury isn't red.

Posted by: Dr. Edward Bailey at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (Riz8t)
---
Mercury isn't even accurate at low temperatures. So we call it "mercury" because that's how thermometers started out, but we have since replaced it with a combination including alcohol. And red coloring was added for ease of reading.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (krQz2)

344
That's nice. I miss my kiddo. I think he's flying from Japan to Korea today. If not, it's tomorrow.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 12:56 PM (DRSnL)

I'm told, if we get there early enough Friday, we will head to Gus' World Famous Fried Chicken for dinner.

SpongeBro will risk his life for 2 chicken strips, it's THAT good.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (Zz0t1)

345 >>> 'methinks'

unless you're Shakespeare, just don't
Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 12:33 PM (AOsQT)

Meesa don like it too

Posted by: Jar Jar Binks - totally not a stupid racial stereotype at November 26, 2025 12:58 PM (3uBP9)

346 Crusader — I really do believe I gained weight. I would of course lose 5 pounds of water weight or more on long runs or bike rides… but I ate so much during that time and I’d replace the water weight pretty rapidly after a workout. Maybe some of it was additional muscle true

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 12:58 PM (YobFY)

347 It's not traditional, but I'm starting the smoker this afternoon for some pork ribs overnight, a nip or two of Wild Turkey, and more than one cigar.

Posted by: Frasier Crane at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (bNf8H)

That sounds like blessings to be thankful for, to me.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 26, 2025 12:58 PM (dK+Kv)

348 Good afternoon Ace and the Horde.
The left never stops it climate change / global warming crap. NYS and NYC are going to have problems this winter if it's cold given the closing of Indian Point by Cuomo and the failure to build other plants .

Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 26, 2025 12:58 PM (bfwj/)

349 People shouldn't dress like slobs in public, but I think wearing a jacket and tie everywhere you go is ridiculous. Just normal slacks (or skirt for the ladies) and a shirt and normal, lace-up shoes. It's not that complicated.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:58 PM (77rzZ)

350 So, what I've learned here today is, leftist assholes hate "Happy", "Thanks", and "Giving".

This truly is the Smartest ~~Military~~ Thanksgiving Blog on the Internet!

Posted by: Denny Crane - I'm Tying a Bow on It at November 26, 2025 12:58 PM (i49OE)

351 Why are thermometers red?
Mercury isn't red.
fk is up with that?
Posted by: eleven

May derive from it's source - cinnabar, which is a red mineral often used as a pigment for printing.

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at November 26, 2025 12:59 PM (w9Wax)

352 I used them as tilt switches in machinery. Also I used mercury relays for high load (50-100 amps) and high cycles . They had lots of quick silver in them. When you shook them you could feel all of the mercury.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (xvV+O)

Older cars used them in the hood or trunk lid to turn on the light.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:59 PM (Zz0t1)

353 I'll second the vote for genuine vanilla. Vanilla was so damn popular a hundred years ago that when marketing strategies were applied to offer bargain versions of everything, it became the default value for a lot of tastes, and was diluted, substituted, and generally looted. You can go through a whole lifetime of just letting vanilla happen by not ordering something ritzier, but if you ever get served real full-strength specialty vanilla, it's a real eye-opener. Also? In the Detroit language circle where "milk" is prnounced "MELK," vanilla is spoken as "va-NELL-uh."

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at November 26, 2025 12:59 PM (zdLoL)

354 > Turkey is bad. Especially the white meat.

Brine and smoke it. It'll change your opinion of turkey meat.

Posted by: bonhomme at November 26, 2025 12:59 PM (Yp6az)

355 Why are thermometers red?

Mercury isn't red.

Posted by: Dr. Edward Bailey at November 26, 2025 12:52 PM (Riz8t)
---
Mercury isn't even accurate at low temperatures. So we call it "mercury" because that's how thermometers started out, but we have since replaced it with a combination including alcohol. And red coloring was added for ease of reading.

Not a Red 2 fan, I see.

Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 12:59 PM (Riz8t)

356
Mercury is fun stuff. I'm so old I remember sixth grade Science class, the teacher let us immerse our hands into a large beaker of the stuff. Strange sensation, and it took a fair bit of effort to overcome the buoyancy.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (npFr7)

And the cancer it caused.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:59 PM (Zz0t1)

357 It's really not that difficult to dress well for airline travel. Nobody expects black tie and tux, but don't show up in your pajama bottoms, with sandals and nasty, untrimmed toenails. It's common courtesy.
____

Jeans, polo or dress shirt, quarter-zip over top if needed, slip-on sketchers (for the stupid TSA shoe scans). Easy enough for guys anyway.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at November 26, 2025 12:59 PM (Dv3i1)

358 People choose to dress comfortably, probably a side effect from years of being packed like cattle onto planes with no legroom for people over 5'5".
Posted by: Chairman LMAO at November 26, 2025 12:55 PM (36PRH)

Dressing comfortably does not have to mean dressing like a slob. Clean jeans, clean shirt, clean shoes. That'll do.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 01:00 PM (npFr7)

359 Turkey is bad. Especially the white meat.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (gwhfk)

Brine it, use an oven bag, deep fry, bake it with breast down until browning, or religiously baste it. We use the first method, and it is always juicy and delicious.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 26, 2025 01:00 PM (dK+Kv)

360 Bulg — Losing 50 pounds is fantastic (and hard to do). Congrats

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 01:00 PM (YobFY)

361 I've got the rub done, the injection liquid mixed, I might get the turkey breast spread out, I think it'll need a little spatchcocking. Trying to get everything ready to start smoking early morning.

Posted by: banana Dream at November 26, 2025 01:00 PM (3uBP9)

362 "Mercury isn't even accurate at low temperatures. So we call it "mercury" because that's how thermometers started out, but we have since replaced it with a combination including alcohol. And red coloring was added for ease of reading.
Posted by: Axeman"

Bullshit!!

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 01:00 PM (aTgV0)

363 Racism! Pure f*cking racism!

National parks to start charging non-citizens higher fees to enter

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Why Do the Heathen Rage? at November 26, 2025 01:00 PM (L/fGl)

364 Axios needs to reduce their cumulative carbon footprint to zero.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 26, 2025 01:01 PM (7rldP)

365 > It's really not that difficult to dress well for airline travel. Nobody expects black tie and tux, but don't show up in your pajama bottoms, with sandals and nasty, untrimmed toenails. It's common courtesy.

As long as you're clean and courteous, I don't care how you dress. And leave your damn dog at home. Lots of people are allergic. Even if they're not allergic, your dog smells.

Posted by: bonhomme at November 26, 2025 01:01 PM (Yp6az)

366
People shouldn't dress like slobs in public, but I think wearing a jacket and tie everywhere you go is ridiculous. Just normal slacks (or skirt for the ladies) and a shirt and normal, lace-up shoes. It's not that complicated.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:58 PM

leather boots are still in style for manly footwear

Posted by: Zombie Merle Haggard at November 26, 2025 01:01 PM (tljrc)

367 Mercury isn't even accurate at low temperatures. So we call it "mercury" because that's how thermometers started out, but we have since replaced it with a combination including alcohol. And red coloring was added for ease of reading.
Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (krQz2)

What about anal thermometers? Asking for a friend...

Posted by: Pete B. - No, you can't know my last name, just the initial! at November 26, 2025 01:01 PM (i49OE)

368 SpongeBro will risk his life for 2 chicken strips, it's THAT good.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (Zz0t1)

=====

Well tell him not to do that! I would miss him.

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 01:01 PM (DRSnL)

369 Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the MSM!
They can't let a single holiday pass without informing you a dozen ways it is "problematic!"

Posted by: Lizzy at November 26, 2025 01:02 PM (GbwPZ)

370 I hope all my kids wind up with MiLs that love cooking, because I don't even know where to begin for a Thanksgiving dinner. I'm supposed to bring rolls tomorrow for *my* MiL, because that's all I can handle.

Posted by: pookysgirl, literally waiting #twoweeks at November 26, 2025 01:02 PM (Wt5PA)

371

Brine and smoke it. It'll change your opinion of turkey meat.
Posted by: bonhomme

Ha, ha, good one. They told me the same thing about hobo ass, so either turkey is hobo ass, or it can only be edible by replacing its flavor with smoke and salt.

Posted by: imp at November 26, 2025 01:02 PM (g6TN6)

372 Posted by: banana Dream at November 26, 2025 01:00 PM (3uBP9)

Tell me more about this "splatchcocking"

Posted by: Pete B. - No, you can't know my last name, just the initial! at November 26, 2025 01:02 PM (i49OE)

373 Nobody remembers the Cinnabars' sacking of Rome. The Goths and Vandals, yeah, but not the Cinnabars.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 01:02 PM (77rzZ)

374 how long has it been since I took a plane?

the armrests had ashtrays
Posted by: Don Black

They got rid of them because everybody just ashed on the floor

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 26, 2025 01:02 PM (/lPRQ)

375 You should wear a jaunty hat wherever you go.

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 01:02 PM (aTgV0)

376 Even if they're not allergic, your dog smells.
Posted by: bonhomme at November 26, 2025 01:01 PM (Yp6az)

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Man: No
(Dog bites Clouseau)
Clouseau: I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite.
Man: That’s not my dog.

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 01:03 PM (YobFY)

377 However, Thanksgiving accounts for 20% of most people's yearly protein consumption.

Posted by: Pinky at November 26, 2025 01:03 PM (nmz6A)

378 Fuck off ReFED.
Posted by: Bigsmith at November 26, 2025 12:24 PM (1Au9i)

And, unless they're advocating for the repeal of masses of regulations on charity, we CAN'T give any of that food to the poor. Because somebody at the homeless shelter got sick once off Aunt Martha's donated bokchoi sweet potato brussel sprout pie.

Posted by: GWB at November 26, 2025 01:03 PM (SgcLa)

379 I'm surprised at commentors here defending dressing like a slob. You do you.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at November 26, 2025 01:03 PM (Dv3i1)

380 357 It's really not that difficult to dress well for airline travel. Nobody expects black tie and tux, but don't show up in your pajama bottoms, with sandals and nasty, untrimmed toenails. It's common courtesy.
____

People wear pajama bottoms and houseshoes everywhere. I’m a headbanger and I don’t go around dressed to the nines either but good Shahinshah I wear a t-shirt and jeans that show recent signs of being washed and dried. It isn’t that hard.

In my store everyone makes it a race to the bottom to try and look like the biggest slobs and bums ever. The customers, that is. Who raised these people, wolves?

Posted by: Cow Demon at November 26, 2025 01:03 PM (6KcYW)

381 I will do a surgical scrub of my hands and Clorox the sink- my mom was an OCD nurse...
Posted by: sal

Saw a guy on facebook talking about not washing birds before cooking.

He put a ton of seasoning on it to simulate germs.
He sets it on top of and across a divided sink so the turkey is actually sitting above the sink. He then uses the strongest fine point stream spray possible to blow it everywhere.

Tell me you aren't pushing a product without telling me. I can think of a half dozen ways to do that easier, cleaner & safer.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2025 01:03 PM (rYMt6)

382 Just normal slacks (or skirt for the ladies) and a shirt and normal, lace-up shoes. It's not that complicated.
Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:58 PM (77rzZ)

You can shit-can the lace-up shoes. Plenty of stylish slip-ons out there.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (npFr7)

383 > Nobody remembers the Cinnabars' sacking of Rome. The Goths and Vandals, yeah, but not the Cinnabars.

Were they bright red?

Posted by: bonhomme at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (Yp6az)

384 Nobody remembers the Cinnabars' sacking of Rome. The Goths and Vandals, yeah, but not the Cinnabars.

Idea for a new chain: Cinnabars would be much more popular than Cinnabons. Sugar AND alcohol.

Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (Riz8t)

385
Well tell him not to do that! I would miss him.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 26, 2025 01:01 PM (DRSnL)

First Lady keeps an eye on him. When he starts to get too red in the face, she takes his plate away.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (Zz0t1)

386

Elemental mercury is non-toxic

Posted by: imp at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (g6TN6)

387 My grandfather was part of inventing something that was HUGE at the time. One thing lead to another and he was essentially 'beat to the punch,' so it didn't come to fruition.

Had it, he would've been filthy rich, my dad would NEVER have married my mom and I would not be here, nor would my daughter.

For everything, there is a reason.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 12:42 PM (Zz0t1)

My father was a guitar player in the 50's. He was from the same area as the four seasons and frankie valli, so they somewhat traveled in the same circles. Well, the guitar player at that time got sick, and they needed a replacement for upcoming shows. My father had met with the bass player to go through songs and get up to speed. The original guitar player had recovered and didn't have the longer term illness as they were expecting, so my father didn't need to fill in. My father stayed with his own band and met my mother right after. He would have never met my mother had he got that job.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (snZF9)

388 Deli-sliced turkey on a sandwich is great
turkey bacon club

Posted by: Don Black at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (AOsQT)

389 Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 01:03 PM (YobFY)

LOL

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (Nx5jP)

390 Hard disagree. They don't want ANYONE to experience joy ever. The "distribution" and "fairness" stuff is a feint to have the capacity to systematically remove the joy from everywhere. How could one justify it otherwise?

That's why all their solutions always lead to misery. Not a lack of foresight - it is purpose and planning.
Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 12:57 PM (E0p3T)
---
Strongly disagree. They just don't understand the difference between intention and effect.

They wouldn't want to feel like they don't want people to experience joy, because that sounds like that would make them a bad person. So "Of course" they want joy! (Narcissism) They want to wear all words that sound like they're the better person.

I agree just as much as anybody that the left is about POWER. But that all has to do with the disagreement between intention and consequence. Once you wipe away the clouds of their "good" intent, you're left with the only aspect that contacts reality which is POWER to do their "good intents".

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (krQz2)

391 You probably won't ponder your carbon footprint when you sit down to devour that Thanksgiving turkey -- but some food and climate activists say you should.

Those people are wrong.

Posted by: Emmie at November 26, 2025 01:05 PM (FMtrg)

392 Dressing comfortably does not have to mean dressing like a slob. Clean jeans, clean shirt, clean shoes. That'll do.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 01:00 PM (npFr7)

This 1000%

Posted by: Cow Demon at November 26, 2025 01:05 PM (6KcYW)

393 Bulg — Losing 50 pounds is fantastic (and hard to do). Congrats
Posted by: LinusVanPelt

Yes, it was probably the hardest thing I've ever done.

Now, I've got the opposite problem: All my pants want to fall off. I need to buy some that fit so that I'm not in danger of mooning people.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 01:05 PM (77rzZ)

394
Idea for a new chain: Cinnabars would be much more popular than Cinnabons. Sugar AND alcohol.
Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (Riz8t)

there was a washateria in Denton off the UNT campus called Soap n' Suds. There was a bar inside that served various beers.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 01:05 PM (Zz0t1)

395 How doth I expand my carbon footprint? Let me count the ways.

Posted by: Tire fire at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (TbWk/)

396 366
People shouldn't dress like slobs in public, but I think wearing a jacket and tie everywhere you go is ridiculous. Just normal slacks (or skirt for the ladies) and a shirt and normal, lace-up shoes. It's not that complicated.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 12:58 PM

leather boots are still in style for manly footwear

Posted by: Zombie Merle Haggard at November 26, 2025 01:01 PM (tljrc)

Wearing plastic footwear and polyester clothes will make you more than a bit uncomfortable, if you survive a plane crash and are exposed to fire while trying to get out.

Posted by: Gref at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (5rh/l)

397 That's why "equity" was invented. Not as a phony reason to give stuff to people, but a reason to take stuff away.

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (E0p3T)

398 Nobody remembers the Cinnabars' sacking of Rome. The Goths and Vandals, yeah, but not the Cinnabars.

Were they bright red?
Posted by: bonhomme at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (Yp6az)

Did they have icing on top?

Posted by: Denny Crane - My poop doesn't smell. at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (i49OE)

399 Has anyone ever seenthis caution on a food container?:

Product should only be fed to stationary, seated, young children.

^That was on a bag of peanut butter puffs, like cheese puffs but with a vague unsettling peanut butter like taste. Horrible, and no one will eat them. My wife probably found them in the bargain aisle. But I wonder what crazy lawsuit resulted in this.

Posted by: banana Dream at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (3uBP9)

400 Vanilla beans are not that cheap, the vodka can be but the cognac in my Vanilla wasn't cheap either

Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (+qU29)

401 I saw a guy at Home Depot yesterday wearing a binky blanket.

Literally a grown man wearing a cartoon blanket. I assume he was mentally challenged but , ya know.

Maybe not.

Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (aTgV0)

402 FO, Axios.

Posted by: cccp3o at November 26, 2025 01:07 PM (QoDN5)

403 I'm surprised at commentors here defending dressing like a slob. You do you.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at November 26, 2025 01:03 PM (Dv3i1)

False dichotomy.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 26, 2025 01:07 PM (dK+Kv)

404 Nobody remembers the Cinnabars' sacking of Rome. The Goths and Vandals, yeah, but not the Cinnabars.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 01:02 PM (77rzZ)
---
They look so peaceful in mall food courts. "C'mon have a gooey cinnamon roll...". They are waiting for an opportunity.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 01:07 PM (krQz2)

405 Elemental mercury is non-toxic

Posted by: imp

Yeah, no.

How toxic is elemental mercury?
Repeated or continuous exposure to elemental mercury can result in accumulation of mercury in the body and permanent damage to the nervous system and kidneys. Classic health effects of poisoning include neurological and psychiatric effects, loss of kidney function, and inflammation of the upper airway and throat.

Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 01:07 PM (Riz8t)

406 leather boots are still in style for manly footwear
Posted by: Zombie Merle Haggard

And the kids there still respect the college dean.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2025 01:07 PM (rYMt6)

407 Nobody remembers the Cinnabars' sacking of Rome. The Goths and Vandals, yeah, but not the Cinnabars.

Were they bright red?
Posted by: bonhomme at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (Yp6az)

Did they have icing on top?
Posted by: Denny Crane - My poop doesn't smell. at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (i49OE)

Orange Julius fought bravely but alas...

Posted by: How the mighty have fallen at November 26, 2025 01:07 PM (TbWk/)

408 Isn’t a 4 oz service like a turkey sandwich? What the fuck kind of TG dinner do these retards have?
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 26, 2025 12:27 PM (HW6XE)

One where no thanks is being given, I'm sure.

Posted by: GWB at November 26, 2025 01:08 PM (SgcLa)

409 It might be amusing to think up titles for fake articles from the left

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 01:08 PM (Nx5jP)

410
Literally a grown man wearing a cartoon blanket. I assume he was mentally challenged but , ya know.

Maybe not.
Posted by: eleven at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (aTgV0)

I'm told my step-sister's husband wears a Grinch onesie to bed every night.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 01:09 PM (Zz0t1)

411
Nothing makes a leftard more miserable than someone else being happy.
Posted by: ...

This is why NaCly Dog's advice every day is so important to follow.

Posted by: BifBewalski at November 26, 2025 01:09 PM (QVmho)

412

Germs, on my turkey?

Centipedes? In my vagina?

Posted by: imp at November 26, 2025 01:09 PM (g6TN6)

413
Orange Julius fought bravely but alas...
Posted by: How the mighty have fallen at November 26, 2025 01:07 PM (TbWk/)

They are still available at participating Dairy Queen locations.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 01:09 PM (Zz0t1)

414 > Elemental mercury is non-toxic

Eh, depends. You can touch it without issues. You can even swallow some without harming yourself. Just don't do it regularly. But if it's vaporized? It'll kill ya quick.

Here's the rub, elemental mercury vaporizes really, really easily. Even at room temperature it's slowly evaporating. Raise the temperature just a bit above room temp and you can start to have problems.

Posted by: bonhomme at November 26, 2025 01:09 PM (Yp6az)

415 Thanksgiving leftovers are the best part of Thanksgiving.

Posted by: steevy at November 26, 2025 01:10 PM (YwEeS)

416 there was a washateria in Denton off the UNT campus called Soap n' Suds. There was a bar inside that served various beers.
Posted by: Sponge

Used to be one across the street from the main entrance to the State Fair.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2025 01:10 PM (rYMt6)

417
^That was on a bag of peanut butter puffs, like cheese puffs but with a vague unsettling peanut butter like taste. Horrible, and no one will eat them. My wife probably found them in the bargain aisle. But I wonder what crazy lawsuit resulted in this.
Posted by: banana Dream at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (3uBP9)

New cars have a warning on the dash when you shut it off and open the driver's side door, reminding you to CHECK THE BACK SEAT FOR CHILDREN...........

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 01:10 PM (Zz0t1)

418 But I wonder what crazy lawsuit resulted in this.
Posted by: banana Dream

https://japannews.yomiuri.co.jp/society/
general-news/20241220-228930/

"The center has received three other reports of choking involving cheese balls, but this is the first confirmed case of a fatality."

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 26, 2025 01:11 PM (lWy3j)

419 Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 01:04 PM (krQz2)

If they didn't *intend* to only spread misery, they would occasionally stumble into a good solution by accident. Yet all their solutions only ever go one way.

It reminds me of arguing over whether the media is careless or playing for the other team. A media that is careless would occasionally make an oopsie that hurts leftards. But all their lies mysteriously always point in one direction every time?

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 01:11 PM (E0p3T)

420

Archimedes, I typed and deleted "functionally" for just this. The post was about kids dunking their hands once in a bucket of mercury. That is not toxic.

Posted by: imp at November 26, 2025 01:11 PM (g6TN6)

421
Used to be one across the street from the main entrance to the State Fair.
Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2025 01:10 PM (rYMt6)

For cleaning the puke off your clothes gained while walking past the Tilt-A-Whirl ride.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 01:11 PM (Zz0t1)

422 Germs, on my turkey?

Centipedes? In my vagina?
Posted by: imp at November 26, 2025 01:09 PM (g6TN6)

Worms, in my peehole?

Posted by: Pete B. - No, you can't know my last name, just the initial! at November 26, 2025 01:11 PM (i49OE)

423 Here's the rub, elemental mercury vaporizes really, really easily. Even at room temperature it's slowly evaporating. Raise the temperature just a bit above room temp and you can start to have problems.
Posted by: bonhomme

If you raise the temperature in the room, isn't that the new room temperature?
Posted by: Forest Gump

Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2025 01:11 PM (rYMt6)

424 That's why "equity" was invented. Not as a phony reason to give stuff to people, but a reason to take stuff away.
Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 01:06 PM (E0p3T)
---
Again, it's about feasibility. It's vastly easier to equally distribute misery than wellbeing.

So, that's what ends up being done, especially because you have a bunch of people with academic models swirling in their heads about how the world "should be"--and how it's in their hands to chart a course to there.

Also reality, is human self-interest. Corruption happens in all sorts of Marx-themed systems. Even Xi wants to be rewarded per his "contribution", rather than just feed it into the system to get only what he needs.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 01:11 PM (krQz2)

425 It might be amusing to think up titles for fake articles from the left

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2025 01:08 PM (Nx5jP)

Why the Real Meaning of Thanksgiving Can Only Be Found in Gaza

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (E0p3T)

426 Your Turkey Has a Carbon Footprint
---------

Yeah...sometimes I have to hose the driveway off after they troop through.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (XeU6L)

427 The entire article structure, between the disorganized hyphens, all the colons that I want to punch in the face, the messed up conjunctions. I wouldn't even get away with that in an engineering report and I get away with a lot of hinky crap.

Posted by: banana Dream at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (3uBP9)

428 Nobody remembers the Cinnabars' sacking of Rome. The Goths and Vandals, yeah, but not the Cinnabars.

Posted by: Bulg at November 26, 2025 01:02 PM (77rzZ)
---
They look so peaceful in mall food courts. "C'mon have a gooey cinnamon roll...". They are waiting for an opportunity.
----

The Sbarros were in cahoots with them.

Posted by: Crusader at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (TN0g+)

429 People who say "Turkey Day" instead of "Thanksgiving Day" piss me off. Same with "4th of July".

Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (r+xel)

430 You probably won't ponder your carbon footprint when you sit down to devour that Thanksgiving turkey -- but some food and climate activists say you should.

Those people are wrong.
Posted by: Emmie

Those people should be forced to go to ihop for thanksgiving meals.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (TwTFS)

431 Turkey AND damaging the environment?
Thanksgiving just keeps getting better.

Posted by: Erebus- Ex Killer Whale at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (lIRnP)

432 nood

Jury

Posted by: banana Dream at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (3uBP9)

433 Yum… adding a Cinnabon as dessert to Thanksgiving meal… what a good novel idea!

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (sBt/s)

434 You probably won't ponder your carbon footprint when you sit down to devour that Thanksgiving turkey -- but some food and climate activists say you should.
------
Those people are wrong.

I'm happy to let them do my share of fretting and panicking since they are so much better at it than I.

Posted by: Oddbob at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (3nLb4)

435 Axios can instead of focusing on their extremely poor writing.

Why it matters: I don’t like being treated like an idiot by authors, especially in a “news” organization.

Posted by: Cow Demon at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (6KcYW)

436

You can touch it without issues. You can even swallow some without harming yourself. Just don't do it regularly. But if it's vaporized? It'll kill ya quick.

Here's the rub, elemental mercury vaporizes really, really easily. Even at room temperature it's slowly evaporating. Raise the temperature just a bit above room temp and you can start to have problems.
Posted by: bonhomme

I didn't want to type all that, but yes, exactly.

Posted by: imp at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (g6TN6)

437 NEW THREAD UP

Posted by: kallisto at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (dCxaZ)

438
Worms, in my peehole?
Posted by: Pete B. - No, you can't know my last name, just the initial! at November 26, 2025 01:11 PM (i49OE)

That's just the shit from Chasten's ass, you blasphemous freak.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (Zz0t1)

439 Repeated or continuous exposure to elemental mercury can result in accumulation of mercury in the body and permanent damage to the nervous system and kidneys. Classic health effects of poisoning include neurological and psychiatric effects, loss of kidney function, and inflammation of the upper airway and throat.
Posted by: Archimedes at November 26, 2025 01:07 PM (Riz8t)

Key being "repeated or continuous". It's pretty hard to get poisoned from casual contact with the stuff. It really won't enter via the skin. Long-term inhalation or ingestion, maybe. The real risk comes from simple or organic salts of the metal. True also for lead.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (npFr7)

440 Nothing makes a leftard more miserable than someone else being happy.
Posted by: ...

Yup, its how they roll. Miserable garbage people.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at November 26, 2025 01:13 PM (snZF9)

441 They look so peaceful in mall food courts. "C'mon have a gooey cinnamon roll...". They are waiting for an opportunity.
Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 01:07 PM (krQz2)

I’m waiting for the day when I will crawl away.

Posted by: Porcupine Tree at November 26, 2025 01:14 PM (6KcYW)

442 Germs, on my turkey?

Centipedes? In my vagina?
Posted by: imp at November 26, 2025 01:09 PM (g6TN6)

Worms, in my peehole?
Posted by: Pete B
--------

Roaches around my piano?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2025 01:14 PM (XeU6L)

443 Meanwhile a HIGHWAY is being put in the rain forest so all the limousine Marxists can beat off with terrific view

And the building they put in the rain forest at the end of that highway had a major fire while the UN-niks were in it. Great carbon reduction everyone.

They probably had to cancel Hasan Piker’s speech on taking good care of animals.

Posted by: Ian S. at November 26, 2025 01:14 PM (CVNcn)

444 Brine in an igloo water cooler while defrosting. Learned this from Alton Brown. He used a remote thermometer to make sure it stays below 40 degrees.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at November 26, 2025 12:36 PM

AlaBAMA Johnson is right. Also, today is the day to make the cranberry relish and start brining the already mostly defrosted turkey. FWIW, we had turkey about a month ago and I used that carcass to make the stock for gravy, so at least that's out of the way.

Posted by: HTL at November 26, 2025 01:15 PM (M88Pg)

445 Appropriate attire shows respect for others. Slovenly dress shows lack of respect.
In September 1960, Emily Post died. Her obituary in the NYT described her as the second most powerful woman in America behind Mamie Eisenhower. She could tell you which fork to use for dessert. People cared about these things because they cared about others' opinions.

Posted by: Ted Torgerson at November 26, 2025 01:15 PM (R86kT)

446 If they didn't *intend* to only spread misery, they would occasionally stumble into a good solution by accident. Yet all their solutions only ever go one way.

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 01:11 PM (E0p3T)
---
That's just it. That's why the American left has developed the POV that "unintended consequences" is a "Right-wing talking point."

It's why they always cite their intentions as "solutions" and "at least it does something about X".

They are fully incompetent. Because their lack of concern about whether or not reality behaves according to the predicted academic model almost guarantees they drive us into the ditch.

And on top of all the frustration comes the lure of self-interest in the form of graft. "More for me".

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 01:16 PM (krQz2)

447 People who say "Turkey Day" instead of "Thanksgiving Day" piss me off. Same with "4th of July".
Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts
-----

'Presidents Day'. My blood pressure goes up. I cannot stop myself from saying, 'There is no such thing'.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2025 01:16 PM (XeU6L)

448 yo

Posted by: garrett at November 26, 2025 01:16 PM (rO4EG)

449 Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 01:16 PM (krQz2)

I think they just reverse engineer their found problems onto already latent desires. Humans have a terrible time with rationalization as it is, they make it into an artform.

Posted by: ... at November 26, 2025 01:18 PM (E0p3T)

450 They look so peaceful in mall food courts. "C'mon have a gooey cinnamon roll...". They are waiting for an opportunity.
Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 01:07 PM (krQz2)

I’m waiting for the day when I will crawl away.
Posted by: Porcupine Tree at November 26, 2025 01:14 PM (6KcYW)
---
Oh man! Never did I think I'd see anyone quoting PT on this board besides me!!

Love that song too!! Signify can be an underrated album.

Posted by: Axeman at November 26, 2025 01:18 PM (krQz2)

451 This is why we should have open season on buffalo
Posted by: Ripley at November 26, 2025 12:12 PM

Since our minion, Wesley Crusher, isn't available, we'll ask, you meant to say bison, didn't you?

Posted by: Big Penguin at November 26, 2025 01:19 PM (j+K7l)

452 Here's the rub, elemental mercury vaporizes really, really easily. Even at room temperature it's slowly evaporating. Raise the temperature just a bit above room temp and you can start to have problems.
Posted by: bonhomme

Vapor pressure of mercury is very, very low. .0075 mm/Hg at room temperature.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 01:19 PM (npFr7)

453 You can rotate the tires!
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at November 26, 2025 12:41 PM (XQo4F)

Pfft! I did that driving here!

Posted by: GWB at November 26, 2025 01:25 PM (ipz50)

454 Iris can go eat a 3 mile bag of dicks if she's that concerned about the number of tailpipes per turkey

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at November 26, 2025 01:32 PM (HoxrW)

455 This reminds me of certain types of parasitism in ant colonies.

Posted by: PG at November 26, 2025 01:38 PM (3DUTJ)

456 Ignore the haters, Ace, I’m a fan of the Vanilla Coke (or in my case, Vanilla Coke Zero). I actually like adding a couple ounces of cold brew concentrate to it as a pick-me-up.

I’m a sucker for holiday Coke mixes too but this Creamy Vanilla holiday mix just tastes like a subpar Vanilla Coke to me. It’s better from the Coke Freestyle machine than it is in cans.

Posted by: Caiwyn at November 26, 2025 01:48 PM (m7AUw)

457 Skip the thermometer for the turkey. Just listen for the smoke alarm to go off.

Posted by: Fritzy at November 26, 2025 01:55 PM (2GIh1)

458 Life Hack:

Whenever anyone writes "Carbon Footprint" just stop reading. Its a lie at best.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 26, 2025 01:59 PM (8avO+)

459 Iris can go eat a 3 mile bag of dicks if she's that concerned about the number of tailpipes per turkey
Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at November 26, 2025 01:32 PM (HoxrW)

Ignoring that there is more than 4 oz on the turkey and more than 1 turkey in the facility making them.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 26, 2025 02:00 PM (8avO+)

460 Thinking over the pop up thermometers in the few turkeys I've made: One or two failed entirely due to damage, the other two popped up at about the right time. I have a metal probe thermometer.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 26, 2025 02:03 PM (8avO+)

461 Lol
Thank you Ace for alerting us to these dangers. Without you most people would never be aware of these dangers.
Environmental Working Group also strongly acknowledges your strong anti vaccine support.
One of the biggest reasons Our Dear leader had the courage and foresight to choose Robert Kennedy Jr as his Secretary of A health was his strong anti vax position with which we are 100% on agreement.

Actually the EWG is regularly criticized by the "left" for simply being a dhill for organic companies. They still got them just as Heartland I Institutes shills for its own cohort of donors

Posted by: Aliassmithsmith at November 26, 2025 02:04 PM (1Nc/J)

462

They probably had to cancel Hasan Piker’s speech on taking good care of animals.
Posted by: Ian S. at November 26, 2025 01:14 PM (CVNcn)

I'm shocked you imply his home defibrillator setup in case his dog has heart spasms and his diligent testing of the device to make sure it is working is cruel.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 26, 2025 02:07 PM (8avO+)

463 Use electronic thermometer. The plastic ones are often set to pop out at 185 degrees I am told, which is too high. Cook your bird to 155-160 and let rest, it will raise to 165 which is what you want, and not dry out breast meat so much.

Posted by: Dantes at November 26, 2025 02:09 PM (A35sZ)

464 Did you have use the word, "literally" again, Ace, after your diatribe on its use yesterday?

Posted by: Kurtz at November 26, 2025 02:09 PM (Poq5S)

465 The largest source of mercury contamination is from burning coal
Burning 500 million tons each year in the USA valirizes about 100 tons of mercury into our air

Posted by: Aliassmithsmith at November 26, 2025 02:11 PM (1Nc/J)

466 Key being "repeated or continuous". It's pretty hard to get poisoned from casual contact with the stuff. It really won't enter via the skin. Long-term inhalation or ingestion, maybe. The real risk comes from simple or organic salts of the metal. True also for lead.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (npFr7)

At the lab in college we had an Americium alpha source for testing detection equipment. Alphas go a few cm in the air at best and can't penetrate your skin so the many dire warnings on the box it was in seemed too much. Once I said this to a labmate and told him the only way it could hit much is if you inhaled it. Next day the box had "Do not inhale" on it.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 26, 2025 02:12 PM (8avO+)

467 Your Turkey Has a Carbon Footprint
---------

Yeah...sometimes I have to hose the driveway off after they troop through.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2025 01:12 PM (XeU6L)

You have to deduct the huge amount of carbon IN THE TURKEY. protein, fats, carbohydrates all are made of carbon atoms plus others.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 26, 2025 02:16 PM (8avO+)

468 So they're admitting catalytic converters don't work. Another trillion $$ hoax:

"Raising and processing a four-ounce turkey serving is the equivalent of nearly three miles' worth of tailpipe emissions," said Iris Myers, the group's senior communications manager.

Posted by: Don DeVan at November 26, 2025 02:37 PM (6inc5)

469 If a woman walks 3 miles a day, would she lose weight fairly quickly? Or at least trim down a bit?
——

How long is a piece of string? Tell her to put the fork down. (Nicely!, not quite that blunt)

It takes hours to burn off a big spoonful of peanut butter. I lost 80 pounds doing much of nothing, other than ordinary stuff like mowing the lawn and reading AOS comments.

600 to 800 calories - fairly rapid weight loss. 900 to 1100 calories a day a moderate rate. Everything is else is bullshit. It won’t hurt, indeed it will help, but exercise is more or less a distraction from the process. There’s more bullshit out there about fat loss than anything. You can figure out why if you think about it a little bit.

Posted by: Common Tater at November 26, 2025 02:51 PM (90Mjm)

470 There are only two amounts of food: too much and not enough. Obviously one aims for the former!

Happy Thanksgiving to all the lovely people here!

Posted by: jocon307 at November 26, 2025 03:11 PM (EuROc)

471 Another bunch of intellectual Idiots with sawdust for Brains their as stupid as PETA with these stupid studies they do. Frankly they should get their fingers pinched in their slide rules. their sounding as stupid as those who claim Livestock add to Global Warming/Climate Change and we the Tax Payers are paying for t his kind of nonsense

Posted by: Tamaa the Drongo Bird at November 26, 2025 05:48 PM (wGqjj)

472 This is garbage. The carnegie study does not account for either leftovers or bones. The Pittsburgh gals, known for being obese before it became the trendy waystation to lesbianims, also forgot that very few people throw away food after the Thanksgiving meal. Perhaps it is because what should have lasted a week, they managed to eat the next day.

Posted by: wferrin at November 26, 2025 06:02 PM (mB4C/)

473 A four ounce turkey SERVING, not a four ounce turkey.

Gawd, even when you're right, sometimes you're an embarrassment.

Posted by: clams on the half shell and roller skates, roller skates at November 26, 2025 08:52 PM (kvDvI)

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