Trump Turns Turkey Pardoning Ceremony Into Roast of Joe Biden's Autopen Pardons

These pardons weren't signed by autopen. They'll hold up in court.

President Trump turned Tuesday's White House turkey pardon into a full-blown political roast, using the annual tradition to take a swipe at Joe Biden's "autopen" pardons and even joking that he briefly considered naming this year's birds "Chuck and Nancy."
...
Turning to Gobble and Waddle--described by Trump as "two of the fattest, happiest turkeys we've ever had here"--the president joked that when he first saw their photos, he almost went with "Chuck and Nancy." "But then I realized I wouldn't be pardoning them," he added. "I would never pardon those two people."
Gobble and Waddle join a long list of clemency actions in Trump's second term, a tally that already exceeds 1,700 pardons along with numerous commutations. Trump joked that several aides were prematurely preparing to send the birds through El Salvador's anti-gang confinement system--a reference to the administration's deportation push. "Even these turkeys don't want to go there," he said.
Trump also veered into Chicago crime. The president has repeatedly accused Pritzker and the city's mayor of refusing to work with him on a federal crime-reduction effort. "The mayor is incompetent and the governor is a big fat slob," Trump said, stressing that the prepared joke went too easy on Pritzker. "Some speechwriter wrote something about his weight. I don't talk about people being fat. I refuse to say he's a fat slob. I'd like to lose a few pounds too, by the way--and I'm not going to lose it on Thanksgiving."

"GOBBLE, YOU ARE HEREBY UNCONDITIONALLY PARDONED!" pic.twitter.com/QNCECrzq1V
— MxM News (@mxmnews) November 25, 2025

Posted by: Ace at 06:20 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Hilarious stuff

Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:23 PM (UdiE9)

2 How can you not love this guy?
Lol

Posted by: Lizzy at November 25, 2025 06:23 PM (Hkcdp)

3 “The governor is a big, fat slob.”

Really, it needs to be said.
The man is repulsive, doesn’t matter how rich he and his family are.

Posted by: Lizzy at November 25, 2025 06:25 PM (Hkcdp)

4 When he called Pritzker a big fat slob I laughed

Posted by: Hawaiian Judge at November 25, 2025 06:25 PM (VE6XX)

5 I think I saw someone note (in response to this) that Trump is funnier than most professional comedians now. Whether that is primarily a complement to Trump or an insult to most "comedians" I'll leave to others.

Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:26 PM (UdiE9)

6 Maybe he'll offer one to Mandani in NYC so he can pluck it.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at November 25, 2025 06:26 PM (abIsI)

7 Chuck and Nancy, ha ha ha!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 25, 2025 06:26 PM (Hkcdp)

8 4 When he called Pritzker a big fat slob I laughed
Posted by: Hawaiian Judge at November 25, 2025 06:25 PM (VE6XX)

Off sock/

Posted by: It's me donna at November 25, 2025 06:26 PM (VE6XX)

9 The man has wit

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 25, 2025 06:27 PM (xcxpd)

10 Pardoning is well and good for the kiddies, but I prefer a more realist view of the world.

I would like to see him hatchet the two birds and stick them in a funnel to drain the blood, and then have the chef cook them up.

We have to put these vanities on the bonfire. We are losing our civilization.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 06:27 PM (kIamG)

11 This guy knows his Alinsky rules for radicals.

Posted by: Lizzy at November 25, 2025 06:27 PM (Hkcdp)

12 Oh its the White Turkey that gets pardoned!!

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:27 PM (8avO+)

13 Yeah, bu, bu, but Trump didn't cut $2trillion out of the budget!!! -- Maj. Healy, Bulg, BurtTC and a bunch of other whiners from Nigeria, probably.

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at November 25, 2025 06:30 PM (wBaIH)

14 11 This guy knows his Alinsky rules for radicals.
Posted by: Lizzy at November 25, 2025 06:27 PM (Hkcdp)

He's hitting two of them for sure and he cracks me up.

Posted by: CaliGirl at November 25, 2025 06:30 PM (fGmWu)

15 10 I presume you are (mostly) trolling, but the tender-hearted "Charlotte's Web" approach to animals was a cultural marker that led us to our current suicidal empathy, so yeah, video taping the slaughter of farm animals for food would probably be good for society provided the animals are slaughtered in the normal manner and not by some deranged maniac.

Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:30 PM (UdiE9)

16 Scratch what I said above.

I would love to see J. D. cook them in a fryer out on the Rose Garden patio. While drinking a beer and telling the kids to stand back.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 06:30 PM (kIamG)

17 Fox News has video of the recent Tara Reid incident. Sigh. I just know I could fix her.

Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 06:32 PM (4kcNT)

18 I really hate the tradition of "turkey pardons".

Just eat the damn thing!

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:32 PM (krQz2)

19 He's not getting my Wild Turkey - Nancy Pelosi slurring her words

Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 06:33 PM (bfwj/)

20 Huffington Post description of this: Trump crudely attacks IL Governor." Oh, dear. Politicians never make rude remarks and Pritzker had never said a rude word about anyone/ sarc.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 25, 2025 06:33 PM (7RYym)

21 I would love to see J. D. cook them in a fryer out on the Rose Garden patio. While drinking a beer and telling the kids to stand back.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 06:30 PM (kIamG)

Wife beater and flip flops required.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 06:33 PM (zZu0s)

22 These pardons weren't signed by autopen. They'll hold up in court.
---
Not so fast!

They were signed by a non-Democrat!

Posted by: DC Judges at November 25, 2025 06:34 PM (krQz2)

23 Oh its the White Turkey that gets pardoned!!

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:27 PM (8avO+)

lol

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 25, 2025 06:34 PM (dK+Kv)

24 15 10 I presume you are (mostly) trolling,
Posted by: The Lower Depths

I'm not actually. I phrase it ambiguously but in reality I am terrified that "this thing of ours" is in for a very hard time if we do not wake up. Not about how we kill farm animals, but about how we protect ourselves from muslim conquest.

What we will have to do will make slaughtering a brace of turkey seem trivial.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 06:34 PM (kIamG)

25 Pardon them. Hell no. Dinner with all the fixins.

Posted by: Ben Had at November 25, 2025 06:34 PM (sDNVV)

26 One of my neighbors has about 6 turkeys that run around the neighborhood. Haven't seen them recently.

Posted by: wth at November 25, 2025 06:34 PM (v0R5T)

27 I presume you are (mostly) trolling, but the tender-hearted "Charlotte's Web" approach to animals was a cultural marker that led us to our current suicidal empathy, so yeah, video taping the slaughter of farm animals for food would probably be good for society provided the animals are slaughtered in the normal manner and not by some deranged maniac.
Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:30 PM (UdiE9)

I prefer the Beatrix Potter "cruel world" view. Disobey your mama and steal carrots -- near death sentence and have to run home naked (Peter Rabbit). -- Be wild and break things while Mom is out for a bit (Tom Kitten) -- giant rats come out of the walls and try and bake you into a pie

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:34 PM (8avO+)

28 So Trump Did NOT call Pritzker a "big fat slob?"

"Some speechwriter wrote something about his weight. I don't talk about people being fat. I refuse to say he's a fat slob. I'd like to lose a few pounds too, by the way--and I'm not going to lose it on Thanksgiving."

Posted by: illiniwek at November 25, 2025 06:35 PM (vbXSk)

29 Huffington Post description of this: Trump crudely attacks IL Governor." Oh, dear. Politicians never make rude remarks and Pritzker had never said a rude word about anyone/ sarc.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 25, 2025 06:33 PM (7RYym)
---
Really, we were having such a civil conversation before, in between them calling us fascists and racists, that is.

But all of a sudden Trump has to start calling names!

Posted by: DC Judges at November 25, 2025 06:35 PM (krQz2)

30 The man has wit
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

And the ability to use it.

Posted by: MkY at November 25, 2025 06:36 PM (q6tQZ)

31 'm not actually. I phrase it ambiguously but in reality I am terrified that "this thing of ours" is in for a very hard time if we do not wake up. Not about how we kill farm animals, but about how we protect ourselves from muslim conquest.

What we will have to do will make slaughtering a brace of turkey seem trivial.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 06:34 PM (kIamG)

It is less the Muslims, bad as they are as their enablers. The state supports every step they take.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:36 PM (8avO+)

32 "I'd like to lose a few pounds too"

The self-deprecation lightens the remark considerably.

Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 06:36 PM (4kcNT)

33 Turning to Gobble and Waddle--described by Trump as "two of the fattest, happiest turkeys we've ever had here"--the president joked that when he first saw their photos, he almost went with "Chuck and Nancy." "But then I realized I wouldn't be pardoning them," he added. "I would never pardon those two people."
++++
lol

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 06:37 PM (0lawO)

34 OT: I had not been paying attention I guess for the past almost year. I did not realize Naughty Dog were trying to launch a new franchise- this time with a woke girl boss taking on *reads notes* Religion!

Neil Druckman really is a useless sack of shit.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 06:37 PM (zZu0s)

35
Chinese takeout tonight. Tomorrow we have a lot of cooking to do.

Taking it easy tonight.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 06:37 PM (3ek7K)

36 When he called Pritzker a big fat slob I laughed
Posted by: Hawaiian Judge at November 25, 2025 06:25 PM (VE6XX)

Trump didn't call him that. It was his comedian speech writer. 😀

Posted by: the way I see it Dangerfield at November 25, 2025 06:37 PM (KDPiq)

37 Pardon them. Hell no. Dinner with all the fixins.

Posted by: Ben Had at November 25, 2025 06:34 PM (sDNVV)
---
Like some other Turkey didn't already get the axe for the WH TG meal!

I'm not saying kill them, if you already got the turkeys you need procured.

The TG Pardon is just stupid, and kind of acts like the WH is not going to eat turkey this year.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:37 PM (krQz2)

38 Huffington Post description of this: Trump crudely attacks IL Governor." Oh, dear. Politicians never make rude remarks and Pritzker had never said a rude word about anyone/ sarc.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 25, 2025 06:33 PM (7RYym)
---
Really, we were having such a civil conversation before, in between them calling us fascists and racists, that is.

But all of a sudden Trump has to start calling names!
Posted by: DC Judges at November 25, 2025 06:35 PM (krQz2)

What kind of reporting is that? Pritzker IS fat, report the facts man

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:37 PM (8avO+)

39 Is there some park where the pardoned turkeys go until they expire?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 06:38 PM (0lawO)

40 24 It's not a matter of "we", it's a matter of the old letting the young do what needs to be done with only a little advice/oversight. If we weren't the first society with so damn many old people and so few young people, the problem would have been taken care of by local "Sons of Liberty" gangs a long time ago.

I'd go further and say that old(er) men yapping is the biggest weakness of the right in the US. RINOs are merely a symptom. If they did not exist, what would the old men have the complain about. I think a huge percent of the 13 Colonies were under the age of 20 in 1760. That was very helpful.

Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:38 PM (UdiE9)

41 The TG Pardon is just stupid, and kind of acts like the WH is not going to eat turkey this year.
Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:37 PM (krQz2)

The WH turkey under Trump is a bad, evil, but very flavorsome Turkey that is paying for his crimes.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:39 PM (8avO+)

42 Chinese takeout tonight. Tomorrow we have a lot of cooking to do.

Taking it easy tonight.
Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 06:37 PM (3ek7K)
++++
Tomorrow is cooking everything I can do in advance, finishing the cleaning, moving furniture and setting up.

Tomorrow will be pizza night.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 06:39 PM (0lawO)

43 Is there some park where the pardoned turkeys go until they expire?

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 06:38 PM (0lawO)
---
They go off to live on a farm with other turkeys.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:39 PM (krQz2)

44 Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:38 PM (UdiE9)

Fuck you

Posted by: Benjamin Franklin at November 25, 2025 06:39 PM (KDPiq)

45 Via GP:
A DOJ employee was arrested and booked on terrorism and evidence tampering charges for doxxing a federal agent during a raid in Brownsville, Texas.

Karen Olvera De Leon, an employee with the US Attorney’s Office in Brownsville, appeared on a live stream of a federal raid on June 9.

A male joined the livestream and issued a death threat against one of the federal agents conducting a raid.

Another viewer of the livestream, later identified as Karen Olvera De Leon, doxxed the federal agent and provided his identity to the man issuing the death threat.

Posted by: Crusader at November 25, 2025 06:39 PM (TN0g+)

46 The TG Pardon is just stupid, and kind of acts like the WH is not going to eat turkey this year.
Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:37 PM (krQz2)
++++
Meh. It's a very silly and, in my opinion, endearing American tradition.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 06:39 PM (0lawO)

47 It's not a matter of "we", it's a matter of the old letting the young do what needs to be done with only a little advice/oversight. If we weren't the first society with so damn many old people and so few young people, the problem would have been taken care of by local "Sons of Liberty" gangs a long time ago.

I'd go further and say that old(er) men yapping is the biggest weakness of the right in the US. RINOs are merely a symptom. If they did not exist, what would the old men have the complain about. I think a huge percent of the 13 Colonies were under the age of 20 in 1760. That was very helpful.
Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:38 PM (UdiE9)

It's not old vs young. I'm old and voted for Reagan. And plenty of the young want to get on the liberal gravy train.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:40 PM (8avO+)

48 What does the Moron Horde think about Presidential pardons in general? (Completely taking away the Biden and Trump political angle.)

I am a very strong supporter of "Do the crime, do the time."

I have seen very few pardons by ANY Presidents for people that I thought actually deserved a pardon. ***

*** I agree that the J6 people were overcharged and became political prisoners to some degree. Disregard that aspect, what is the reason for pardoning actual criminals?

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 06:41 PM (HlyYF)

49 44 LOL. Apparently one old man is offended. Good.

Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:41 PM (UdiE9)

50 I’m all for promoting a more realist view of life but hacking off a turkey’s head on live TV in front of the kids is probably not the best way to go about it

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Where Are My Keto Cheetos at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (HYKHz)

51
I bought a bag of the small yellow potatoes. Do you roast them in the oven?I. I'm thinking butter, garlic and seasonings.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (3ek7K)

52 Pardoning turkeys is fake and gay.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (krQz2)

53 Posted by: DC Judges at November 25, 2025 06:35 PM (krQz2)

Yes; Good point .

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (ZeH0U)

54 fourseasons, au gratin.

Posted by: Ben Had at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (sDNVV)

55 "I refuse to say he's a fat slob. "

It's like those folks who were not saying to disobey orders.

Posted by: fd at November 25, 2025 06:43 PM (vFG9F)

56 I’m all for promoting a more realist view of life but hacking off a turkey’s head on live TV in front of the kids is probably not the best way to go about it

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Where Are My Keto Cheetos at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (HYKHz)

Yeah, that's real retarded, sir.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 25, 2025 06:43 PM (dK+Kv)

57 OT: I had not been paying attention I guess for the past almost year. I did not realize Naughty Dog were trying to launch a new franchise- this time with a woke girl boss taking on *reads notes* Religion!

Neil Druckman really is a useless sack of shit.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 06:37 PM (zZu0s)

Never try and stop your enemy when they are making a mistake. Another gob of Venture Capital gone and jobs lost in bad companies who do not know how to serve their customers.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:43 PM (8avO+)

58 Is there some park where the pardoned turkeys go until they expire?

I'm guessing a dog park.

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:43 PM (a4flb)

59 Should have gone with Chuck and Nanzi, then had them for Thursday dinner

Posted by: Skip at November 25, 2025 06:43 PM (+qU29)

60 I’m all for promoting a more realist view of life but hacking off a turkey’s head on live TV in front of the kids is probably not the best way to go about it

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Where Are My Keto Cheetos at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (HYKHz)
---
You don't have to "condemn" them, for that matter, either.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:43 PM (krQz2)

61 Pardoning turkeys is fake and gay.
Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (krQz2)

Should the White House drop the WH Halloween celebration and Easter Egg hunt too.

Posted by: Benjamin Franklin at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (KDPiq)

62 I have seen very few pardons by ANY Presidents for people that I thought actually deserved a pardon. ***

*** I agree that the J6 people were overcharged and became political prisoners to some degree. Disregard that aspect, what is the reason for pardoning actual criminals?
Posted by: Pillage Idiot

-----------------
There are a few people who Trump pardoned that the Left is screaming over. They claim that they are "supporters" and being pardoned because of that.

In reality, they were prosecuted because the were Trump supporters, and it is good and proper for Trump to undo the unfair and biased prosecutions, especially since the courts, juries, judges, and even defense conspired against them.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (kIamG)

63

Ben, halve them?

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (3ek7K)

64 Is there some park where the pardoned turkeys go until they expire?
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 06:38 PM (0lawO)
----
Butterball Ranch.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (IBQGV)

65 If you are hacking the turkey's head off you are doing it wrong.

Posted by: fd at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (vFG9F)

66
What's this I hear about some of You People saying "hearth" all wrong?

How do you say hearth?

a) herth
b) harth

Choose wisely.

Posted by: Campbell's Soup at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (BihGC)

67 CIA Deep State Bush Senior was the one who started this tradition and now it all makes sense

Some claimed Truman started it but he in fact ate his bird

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Where Are My Keto Cheetos at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (HYKHz)

68 I’m all for promoting a more realist view of life but hacking off a turkey’s head on live TV in front of the kids is probably not the best way to go about it

How about biting the head off of it?

Posted by: Zombie Ozzie Osbourne at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (a4flb)

69 I bought a bag of the small yellow potatoes. Do you roast them in the oven?I. I'm thinking butter, garlic and seasonings.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (3ek7K)

you can, you can also boil them in brine. I have chopped them up into thick slices or quarters and cooked them in bacon grease for 20 minutes on low, and then cooked an egg on them on low for another 10 minutes or so, and then of course you can put gravy on top if you wish.

Posted by: Kindltot at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (rbvCR)

70 They have to show that they can demonstrate compassion without turning all of society into violent chaos.

But they can't -- and the new breed doesn't even try.

Their attitude is You deserve it, Colonialist Oppressors.

So all of the illegals will have to go. If there's no protection for the citizens, there is certainly no protection for the fucking illegals.

Kick them out. Kick them all out.
=====

No, you must suffer for your compassion.

Its part of the kink.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (znt4/)

71 I bought a bag of the small yellow potatoes. Do you roast them in the oven?I. I'm thinking butter, garlic and seasonings.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (3ek7K)

think you can boil them in a pot too.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (8avO+)

72 What does the Moron Horde think about Presidential pardons in general?
-------

I'm ok with it. Even overlooking the Biden and Trump angle, there are some convictions that for one reason or another should be at least open to a different outcome.

Posted by: Crusader at November 25, 2025 06:45 PM (TN0g+)

73 The two birds should have been named Mark and Kelly.

Posted by: Curly Shuffle at November 25, 2025 06:45 PM (5yDGQ)

74 47 You're not following. Who do you think energetically deals with problems (like a horde of unwanted invaders moving in to your area?)? Beliefs don't matter. Hell, young guys mostly just want some direction and something to do. Young women want actual men. Instead the guys play video games and the women fantasize over farm animals and serial killers. Voting isn't what I'm talking about. Bob can have his local invaders removed in a fortnight. Our problem is that if anyone did anything locally we'd all be on here bitching about how things were done.

Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:45 PM (UdiE9)

75 fourseasons, thin sliced with cream and cheese.

Posted by: Ben Had at November 25, 2025 06:45 PM (sDNVV)

76 What's this I hear about some of You People saying "hearth" all wrong?

How do you say hearth?

a) herth
b) harth

Choose wisely.
Posted by: Campbell's Soup at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (BihGC)

halfway between.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:45 PM (8avO+)

77 The pardoning of White House Turkeys pre-dates Charlotte’s Web by many years …

Posted by: Adriane the Amused by the Little Things Critic . . . at November 25, 2025 06:46 PM (3ZUWJ)

78 If you are hacking the turkey's head off you are doing it wrong.

I'm sure that there are Cultural Enrichers around who could demonstrate the art of hacking something's head off.

Posted by: CAIR Community Outreach at November 25, 2025 06:46 PM (a4flb)

79 Pardoning turkeys is fake and gay.
Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM (krQz2)

Should the White House drop the WH Halloween celebration and Easter Egg hunt too.
Posted by: Benjamin Franklin at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (KDPiq)
---
I don't think either of those amounts to a fabricated situation like a turkey pardon.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:46 PM (krQz2)

80 Another gob of Venture Capital gone and jobs lost in bad companies who do not know how to serve their customers.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:43 PM (8avO+)

Granted. And at least it is not an OG, beloved IP. So in that sense it should be celebrated. You go, Neil! Show em all!

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 06:46 PM (zZu0s)

81 JFK was the first president to "pardon" a turkey but old man Bush made it official

Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 06:46 PM (bfwj/)

82 5 I think I saw someone note (in response to this) that Trump is funnier than most professional comedians now. Whether that is primarily a complement to Trump or an insult to most "comedians" I'll leave to others.
Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:26 PM (UdiE9)

The basis of all comedy, is cruelty. It can be talking about your Husband 'Fang' (Phyliss Diller), or yourself (Rodney Dangerfield), or slapstick like the Stooges (themselves)... or making fun of the Government or Society.... but there is always 'the butt' of the joke.

Comedians are afraid to be cruel now... or someone will complain and they will get cancelled.

Trump is not afraid to be cruel.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 06:46 PM (mP0Kj)

83 Pardoning turkeys is fake and gay.
-------

Trump should have a turkey drop instead, and televise it!

Posted by: Mr. Carlson at November 25, 2025 06:46 PM (TN0g+)

84 What's this I hear about some of You People saying "hearth" all wrong?

How do you say hearth?

a) herth
b) harth

Choose wisely.
Posted by: Campbell's Soup

Fireplace…

Posted by: Adriane the Amused by the Little Things Critic . . . at November 25, 2025 06:47 PM (3ZUWJ)

85
That sounds good Ben. We wanted something different from mashed ones this year.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 06:47 PM (3ek7K)

86 >>They go off to live on a farm with other turkeys.

The pardon was for being a turkey until today. Tomorrow the clock starts ticking again.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 25, 2025 06:47 PM (viF8m)

87 "think you can boil them in a pot too"

If any of you have an induction heater, you've probably already tried doing taters long ago, so I need not suggest it.

Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 06:47 PM (4kcNT)

88 I think petting zoo has gotten pardon turkeys in past years

Posted by: Skip at November 25, 2025 06:47 PM (+qU29)

89 think you can boil them in a pot too.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (8avO+)

Mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 25, 2025 06:47 PM (dK+Kv)

90 What does the Moron Horde think about Presidential pardons in general?

They should have dragged out the Auto Pen and had a White House drone push a button.

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:47 PM (a4flb)

91 First Pardoning: The first recorded instance of a turkey being spared was by President Abraham Lincoln, who reportedly pardoned a turkey at his son’s request during the Civil War.

--------------------

According to Web search, Lincoln was first to pardon one because his son Tad asked to. Given the average boy's attitudes I question this.

Most of the facts in this seems to be squishy.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:48 PM (8avO+)

92 Small yellow potatoes ? Cut them in quarters and fry them with onions

Posted by: It's me donna at November 25, 2025 06:49 PM (VE6XX)

93 JFK was the first president to "pardon" a turkey but old man Bush made it official

Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 06:46 PM (bfwj/)
---
And it was kind of quaint for a while.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:49 PM (krQz2)

94 Trump is not afraid to be cruel.?

Is that why VDH reads Trump's social media posts?

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:49 PM (a4flb)

95 We have flocks of wild turkeys in my urban environment. They jaywalk a lot, but I don't know how many may have been pardoned.

Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 06:50 PM (4kcNT)

96 “Should the White House drop the WH Halloween celebration and Easter Egg hunt too?”

Yes.

Posted by: Going deep. Out. at November 25, 2025 06:50 PM (zqeQL)

97 I don't think either of those amounts to a fabricated situation like a turkey pardon.
Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:46 PM (krQz2)

Rabbits don't even lay eggs! Its all A LIE!!!

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:50 PM (8avO+)

98 51 I bought a bag of the small yellow potatoes. Do you roast them in the oven?I. I'm thinking butter, garlic and seasonings.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 06:42 PM

I am NOT a good cook, and generally do only simple things.

My version on those little potatoes: bake them until almost done, then smush a crater in the middle with the back of a spoon, add a pat of butter with some grated cheese, crumbled bacon (and some sour cream for the people that like it). Bake for five more minutes and serve.

I can eat about five of them like that if I have been working at the farm.

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 06:51 PM (HlyYF)

99 What's this I hear about some of You People saying "hearth" all wrong?

How do you say hearth?
---
Like heart with a th instead of a t.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:51 PM (krQz2)

100
"He hath eaten me out of house and home. He
hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his.
But I will have some of it out again, or I
will ride thee o’ nights like the mare."

-- Henry IV, Part 2

Posted by: Campbell's Soup at November 25, 2025 06:51 PM (BihGC)

101 Do the turkeys have to wear ankle monitors?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 25, 2025 06:51 PM (pkeXY)

102
WTFF??

Posted by: Soothsayer Shakes a Spear at You at November 25, 2025 06:52 PM (BihGC)

103 According to Web search, Lincoln was first to pardon one because his son Tad asked to. Given the average boy's attitudes I question this.

Most of the facts in this seems to be squishy.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:48 PM (8avO+)

Lincoln was a very effective politician, and may well have felt the mood about the war, as well as have been tired of killing as well. Might have been trying to foreshadow any plan of pardons for the South that he was considering.

Posted by: Kindltot at November 25, 2025 06:52 PM (rbvCR)

104 I missed the last thread.

He was charged with aggravated identity theft

Identity Theft: I'm you.

Aggravated Identity Theft: I'm you, motherf--ker!

Posted by: mikeski at November 25, 2025 06:52 PM (nhCoE)

105 84 What's this I hear about some of You People saying "hearth" all wrong?

How do you say hearth?

a) herth
b) harth

Choose wisely.
Posted by: Campbell's Soup

Fireplace…
Posted by: Adriane the Amused by the Little Things Critic . . . at November 25, 2025 06:47 PM (3ZUWJ)

/Sings and Dances

I hearth it through the grapevine....

Posted by: California Raisin at November 25, 2025 06:53 PM (mP0Kj)

106 I am NOT a good cook, and generally do only simple things.

My version on those little potatoes: bake them until almost done, then smush a crater in the middle with the back of a spoon, add a pat of butter with some grated cheese, crumbled bacon (and some sour cream for the people that like it). Bake for five more minutes and serve.

I can eat about five of them like that if I have been working at the farm.
Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 06:51 PM (HlyYF)

Seems like they would roll over on you. To you cut them in half or something?

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:53 PM (8avO+)

107 Do the turkeys have to wear ankle monitors?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 25, 2025 06:51 PM (pkeXY)

Don't be silly, only Bolsinaro needs to wear an ankle monitor

Posted by: Kindltot at November 25, 2025 06:53 PM (rbvCR)

108 “Should the White House drop the WH Halloween celebration and Easter Egg hunt too?”

I think someone as classy as Trump should put out the 12' LowesDepot skeleton for Halloween and decorate the WH lawn with inflatable penguins and Santa for Excessmass.

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:53 PM (a4flb)

109 104 Ha!

Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 06:53 PM (4kcNT)

110 JFK was the first president to "pardon" a turkey but old man Bush made it official

Posted by: Smell the Glove

-------------
I rest my case.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 06:53 PM (kIamG)

111 Bag of potatoes, 5 smashed garlic cloves, evoo, and malden salt flakes at 400 degrees 40 minutes.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 25, 2025 06:54 PM (znt4/)

112 My long held theory that the naturally funnier (where there is actual daylight) candidate wins every modern - post-1960ish -general election holds for every single one except 2020, mysteriously enough. It predicted Trump beating Hillary, Biden AND Kamala. Go through them, it just works.

Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 06:54 PM (E0p3T)

113 Mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 25, 2025 06:47 PM (dK+Kv)

That or cassava.

Posted by: Kindltot at November 25, 2025 06:54 PM (rbvCR)

114 Lincoln was a very effective politician, and may well have felt the mood about the war, as well as have been tired of killing as well. Might have been trying to foreshadow any plan of pardons for the South that he was considering.

He didn't make an effective use of social media though. That may have hurt him.

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:55 PM (a4flb)

115 112 Rodney Dangerfield should have run.

Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 06:55 PM (4kcNT)

116 He didn't make an effective use of social media though. That may have hurt him.
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:55 PM (a4flb)

True, but he used telegraphic style in his speeches

Posted by: Kindltot at November 25, 2025 06:55 PM (rbvCR)

117
PI,

That sounds yummy.

Wishing safe travels for all of you who are traveling.

Youngest son flew in today, no delays. He said the drive over here from SLC was not bad today. Tomorrow probably gonna be crazy.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (3ek7K)

118 Rodney Dangerfield should have run.
Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 06:55 PM (4kcNT)
---
But he couldn't get no respect.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (krQz2)

119 He didn't make an effective use of social media though. That may have hurt him.
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:55 PM (a4flb

He did kick ass with the televised state of the union address though.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (HW6XE)

120 114 Lincoln was a very effective politician, and may well have felt the mood about the war, as well as have been tired of killing as well. Might have been trying to foreshadow any plan of pardons for the South that he was considering.

He didn't make an effective use of social media though. That may have hurt him.
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:55 PM (a4flb)

Come on, the video of him killin Vampires?

LIT!

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (mP0Kj)

121 Wasn't Tad Lincoln a tad 'special?'

Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (4kcNT)

122 I use gold potatoes for almost everything.

The little baby potatoes bother me - every now and then you get one that tastes like pocket change. It's like potato fuck your mouth roulette. I don't need that in my life.

Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (E0p3T)

123 My version on those little potatoes: bake them until almost done, then smush a crater in the middle with the back of a spoon, add a pat of butter with some grated cheese, crumbled bacon (and some sour cream for the people that like it). Bake for five more minutes and serve.

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 06:51 PM

Seems like they would roll over on you. To you cut them in half or something?

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:53 PM

I probably overcook them a bit.

Of course, once I smush the first one I notice that the others then lie VERY still!

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (HlyYF)

124
At the end of the ceremony, the turkey rancher triumphantly tore up the pardon.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (RfDQK)

125 For gold potatoes, I do them one of two ways.

You can do them as a normal baked potato. Take a sheet of aluminum foil and grease it (oil works, butter is better). Wrap the potato in the greased foil and bake it for a while. Around an hour at 350 should do it, but keep an eye on it Unwrap 'em, cut 'em in half, go to town with whatever you like on a baked potato.

The other way is sort of roasted, which is my preference. Cut them in half long-ways and array them on a baking sheet. Put salt and pepper on them in quantities that match your preference. Put a generous - if it looks like too much, it's probably enough - amount of butter on each potato half. Use Irish butter if you have it. Bake for about an hour or so at 350. You can convert it to broil for a minute or two at the end to brown them if desired.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (0lawO)

126 I think someone as classy as Trump should put out the 12' LowesDepot skeleton for Halloween and decorate the WH lawn with inflatable penguins and Santa for Excessmass.
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:53 PM (a4flb)

How are you going to make gold leaf stick to an inflatable penguin?

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 06:57 PM (8avO+)

127 112 Did Carter come across as funny in 1976? He was a tiresome prig by 1979, but I don't know enough about Ford to say who was funnier in the 1976 election. Ford accidentally tripping doesn't count, or Biden would be the funniest presidential candidate in US history.

Posted by: The Lower Depths at November 25, 2025 06:57 PM (UdiE9)

128 Lincoln made Thanksgiving a formal national holiday.

Posted by: Benjamin Franklin at November 25, 2025 06:57 PM (KDPiq)

129 Of course, once I smush the first one I notice that the others then lie VERY still!
Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (HlyYF)
---
They get the message...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 25, 2025 06:57 PM (IBQGV)

130 Posted by: Kindltot at November 25, 2025 06:52 PM (rbvCR

Not trying to start the whole "war between the states", "war of Northern Aggression " Civil War stuff again, but it was Lincoln who established the Thanksgiving holiday in the middle of the war.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 25, 2025 06:57 PM (looXz)

131 I use ghee in my roasted potato mix. Always have it around for Indian cooking.

Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 06:58 PM (E0p3T)

132 What do jive turkeys cook for Thanksgiving?

Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 06:58 PM (4kcNT)

133 39 Is there some park where the pardoned turkeys go until they expire?
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 06:38 PM (0lawO)
Turkeyville, down in Florida.

Posted by: Eromero at November 25, 2025 06:58 PM (LHPAg)

134 There's a large festering Nuzzi on my Anaconda.

Posted by: KEIFF OLBERMANN at November 25, 2025 06:58 PM (IByKi)

135 Reagan was funny.

Posted by: Benjamin Franklin at November 25, 2025 06:58 PM (KDPiq)

136 Did Carter come across as funny in 1976? He was a tiresome prig by 1979, but I don't know enough about Ford to say who was funnier in the 1976 election.

If you think pratfalls are funny, then Ford was your guy.

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:58 PM (a4flb)

137 Oh, for method 2 in 125, they need to be face-up. And you need to score the potato, too, in both directions (down and across).

I suck at directions.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 06:58 PM (0lawO)

138 124
At the end of the ceremony, the turkey rancher triumphantly tore up the pardon.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (RfDQK)

Turkey for dinnah!

Fed Pardons don't affect State charges...

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 06:58 PM (mP0Kj)

139 People! Meat is murder! Murder! Tofu feeds millions and millions of Orientals along with bugs, grass and tree bark and it's time everyone get on board with the future of food! Yeah! Oh Yeah! Racists!

Posted by: Chase Boutwell Jr., 38 year old Monster Child at November 25, 2025 06:58 PM (R/m4+)

140
Should the White House drop the WH Halloween celebration and Easter Egg hunt too.
Posted by: Benjamin Franklin at November 25, 2025 06:44 PM (KDPiq)
---
I don't think either of those amounts to a fabricated situation like a turkey pardon.
Posted by: Axeman

=============

What, you think the Easter Bunny has hidden a bunch of eggs on the White House grounds?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 25, 2025 06:59 PM (RfDQK)

141 Off sock

Posted by: the way I see it at November 25, 2025 06:59 PM (KDPiq)

142 112 My long held theory that the naturally funnier (where there is actual daylight) candidate wins every modern - post-1960ish -general election holds for every single one except 2020, mysteriously enough. It predicted Trump beating Hillary, Biden AND Kamala. Go through them, it just works.

Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 06:54 PM

Obama isn't funny at all, so that doesn't work.

Oh wait, McCain and Romney actually have negative humor scores, so your theory still holds up!

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 06:59 PM (HlyYF)

143 Oh wait, McCain and Romney actually have negative humor scores, so your theory still holds up!
Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 06:59 PM (HlyYF)
++++
Nixon might be the only charisma sink who ever won the presidency.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (0lawO)

144 Potatoes are amazing. Virtually infinite ways to prepare them. We could spend all night coming up with recipes, no two the same.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (IBQGV)

145 What, you think the Easter Bunny has hidden a bunch of eggs on the White House grounds?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 25, 2025 06:59 PM (RfDQK)

Yes. Why?

Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (E0p3T)

146
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. By the time Christmas Day arrives I think a lot of people are worn out.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (3ek7K)

147 How are you going to make gold leaf stick to an inflatable penguin?
Posted by: Oldcat

That's not what I'm pondering, Pinky.

Posted by: The Brain at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (nhCoE)

148 114 Lincoln was a very effective politician, and may well have felt the mood about the war, as well as have been tired of killing as well. Might have been trying to foreshadow any plan of pardons for the South that he was considering.

He didn't make an effective use of social media though. That may have hurt him.

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 06:55 PM

"87% of all internet quotes are fabricated."

-- Abraham Lincoln

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (HlyYF)

149 Obama isn't funny at all, so that doesn't work.

Oh wait, McCain and Romney actually have negative humor scores, so your theory still holds up!

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 06:59 PM (HlyYF)

I deleted my little voxplainer on that one - you are correct Obama isn't funny, but both of those idiot opponents were DOA sticks in the mud.

Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 07:01 PM (E0p3T)

150 139 People! Meat is murder! Murder!

Posted by: Chase Boutwell Jr., 38 year old Monster Child at November 25, 2025 06:58 PM (R/m4+)

Yes, delicious, mouth watering.... murder....

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 07:01 PM (mP0Kj)

151 143 Oh wait, McCain and Romney actually have negative humor scores, so your theory still holds up!
Posted by: Pillage Idiot at November 25, 2025 06:59 PM (HlyYF)
++++
Nixon might be the only charisma sink who ever won the presidency.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (0lawO)
________
John Adams?

Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 07:01 PM (s0JqF)

152 Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. By the time Christmas Day arrives I think a lot of people are worn out.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (3ek7K)

You are supposed to STOP with the turkeys between those dates.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:01 PM (8avO+)

153 Nixon might be the only charisma sink who ever won the presidency.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (0lawO)
________
John Adams?
Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 07:01 PM (s0JqF)

Nixon appeared on the comedy show "Laugh In"

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:02 PM (8avO+)

154 lol

Cracker Barrell CEO went on Glen Beck’s show to grovel for the rubes to come back to her shitty restaurants.

She no longer had the thick rimmed black glasses either. Guess her PR team told her to de-AWFLize herself.

How that bitch wasn’t fired is a mystery. She has to have photos of board members with live boys or dead girls.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 25, 2025 07:02 PM (HW6XE)

155 145 What, you think the Easter Bunny has hidden a bunch of eggs on the White House grounds?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 25, 2025 06:59 PM (RfDQK)

Yes. Why?
Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (E0p3T)
_______
Thinks Biden is still there.

Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 07:02 PM (s0JqF)

156 Nixon might be the only charisma sink who ever won the presidency.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (0lawO)

Come on... he was a funny guy... even did a bit on Rowan and Martin's Laugh In.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 07:03 PM (mP0Kj)

157 Nixon might be the only charisma sink who ever won the presidency.
-----

Yeah, but I think he appeared on "Laugh In".

Posted by: Mr. Carlson at November 25, 2025 07:03 PM (TN0g+)

158 Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. By the time Christmas Day arrives I think a lot of people are worn out.
Posted by: fourseasons

You are supposed to STOP with the turkeys between those dates.
Posted by: Oldcat

But what if you have four weeks worth of leftovers, Brain?

Posted by: Pinky at November 25, 2025 07:03 PM (nhCoE)

159 What, you think the Easter Bunny has hidden a bunch of eggs on the White House grounds?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 25, 2025 06:59 PM (RfDQK)
---
So does the president write an XO to hire the Easter Bunny to hide eggs on the lawn?

That would be close to an equivalent.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 07:03 PM (krQz2)

160 The dogeater was funny.

*hold out hand horizontally, palm down, fingers spread; waggles"

Posted by: fd at November 25, 2025 07:03 PM (vFG9F)

161 What, you think the Easter Bunny has hidden a bunch of eggs on the White House grounds?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 25, 2025 06:59 PM (RfDQK)

Yes. Why?
Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (E0p3T)
_______
Thinks Biden is still there.
Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 07:02 PM (s0JqF)
---
You might not want the surprises Joe hid around the grounds.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 07:03 PM (krQz2)

162 Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. By the time Christmas Day arrives I think a lot of people are worn out.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (3ek7K)

Same here. Love TG, but all the build up to Christmas for a month after is too fucking much.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 25, 2025 07:04 PM (HW6XE)

163 You know who else is very funny. Of course intelligent witty humor . Ted Cruz.

His spontaneous acting out a Princess Bride scene on the Adam Carolla podcast was moron worthy.

Posted by: the way I see it at November 25, 2025 07:04 PM (KDPiq)

164 "Did he say big, fat pig?"

- Caesar

"I believe he did, sire."

- The little fag

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 25, 2025 07:04 PM (Wnv9h)

165 "Nixon appeared on the comedy show "Laugh In"
Posted by: Oldcat"

He asked the nation to sock it to him.

Posted by: fd at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (vFG9F)

166 You don't want any of the "chocolate eggs" left over from the Biden administration.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (krQz2)

167 Cook a potato with a defibrillator in only six seconds:
youtube.com/watch?v=egOda1dKNKU

Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (4kcNT)

168 Thanksgiving and Jewish Thanksgiving (Passover) are my favorite holidays, and they're conveniently right around six months apart!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (0lawO)

169 posted by: a Triple Laugh-In Hordemind

Sock it..... to me?

Posted by: zombie Richard Nixon at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (nhCoE)

170 Nixon was on Laugh-In to be unfunny.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (A0sqA)

171 Fenelon, he also said in a speech and letters that one way to get rid of an enemy was to make him your friend. I think on that comment often.

I recently read a story of Sherman's troops, where one unit was resting on the front lawn of a plantation house during a march, while the women of the plantation were watching them carefully from the porch, and one of the men noticed the ground where he was laying had been disturbed. With a whoop to his buddies that he had found treasure buried to keep it from the Union soldiers, they started digging and unearthed a reeking box that turned out to have the decayed body of a spaniel in it.

One of the ladies on the porch commented archly, "Poor Curly isn't destined to find peace in this world or the next, that's the third time he's been dug up today."

Posted by: Kindltot at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (rbvCR)

172 Come here turkey
I still want to stab someone

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (gDlxJ)

173 Potatoes are amazing. Virtually infinite ways to prepare them. We could spend all night coming up with recipes, no two the same.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (IBQGV)

I sometimes bake one and put about 5 different condiments on them in sections. (I have a bad habit of buying odd condiment bottles and never using them)

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (8avO+)

174 Nixon was on Laugh-In to be unfunny.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (A0sqA)
---
And DC socked it to him.

Posted by: Axeman at November 25, 2025 07:06 PM (krQz2)

175
The basis of all comedy, is cruelty. It can be talking about your Husband 'Fang' (Phyliss Diller), or yourself (Rodney Dangerfield), or slapstick like the Stooges (themselves)... or making fun of the Government or Society.... but there is always 'the butt' of the joke.

Comedians are afraid to be cruel now... or someone will complain and they will get cancelled.

Trump is not afraid to be cruel.
Posted by: Romeo13

==============

Just to turn you on to someone who's funny right now, have you seen Andy Huggins on YouTube (or elsewhere)? He's this very old guy who makes jokes about his age. "As for social media, you can find me on the bulletin board at Kroger's, and MyChart."

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 25, 2025 07:06 PM (RfDQK)

176 162 Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. By the time Christmas Day arrives I think a lot of people are worn out.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 07:00 PM (3ek7K)

Same here. Love TG, but all the build up to Christmas for a month after is too fucking much.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald

Scrooges!

Posted by: nurse ratched at November 25, 2025 07:06 PM (W2Pud)

177 "Nixon appeared on the comedy show "Laugh In"
Posted by: Oldcat"

He asked the nation to sock it to him.
Posted by: fd at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (vFG9F)

He won his next election over McGovern.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:07 PM (8avO+)

178 So does the president write an XO to hire the Easter Bunny to hide eggs on the lawn?

That would be close to an equivalent.

I think Trump should make a fusion of the plastic eggs and Pardons by stashing Pardon Coupons in each egg, then letting your typical Babylon DC riff raff compete to find them.

would look like the wilder scenes from the movie "300".

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 07:07 PM (a4flb)

179 Scrooges!
Posted by: nurse ratched at November 25, 2025 07:06 PM

*proffers bag*

Humbug?

Ebeneezer Blackadder

Posted by: Ebeneezer Blackadder at November 25, 2025 07:09 PM (Wnv9h)

180

nurse,

Youngest son had a. 5 am flight out of Seatac this morning. He said it was no problem at the airport today.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 07:09 PM (3ek7K)

181 You are supposed to STOP with the turkeys between those dates.
Posted by: Oldcat

But what if you have four weeks worth of leftovers, Brain?
Posted by: Pinky at November 25, 2025 07:03 PM (nhCoE)

Sounds like a planning issue., Pinky.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:09 PM (8avO+)

182 Gemini AI is just daring us to try this: "It is not possible or safe to cook a potato in a microwave horn antenna. A horn antenna is a scientific or engineering component designed to direct microwaves for measurement or communication purposes, not for food preparation."

Posted by: gp at November 25, 2025 07:09 PM (4kcNT)

183 Sometimes I type things yall would be happy that I also deleted.

Posted by: fd at November 25, 2025 07:10 PM (vFG9F)

184 Cut/paste fail.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 25, 2025 07:10 PM (Wnv9h)

185
fd,

Lol.

Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 07:10 PM (3ek7K)

186 "It is not possible or safe to cook a potato in a microwave horn antenna"

BS. AI is FOS.

Posted by: fd at November 25, 2025 07:11 PM (vFG9F)

187 I wouldn't pardon any of them either, turkeys yes, scumbag politicians, hell no.

Posted by: Gmac - WTF did you think was going to happen? at November 25, 2025 07:11 PM (qZdIZ)

188 Sometimes I type things yall would be happy that I also deleted.
Posted by: fd

Poppycock. That's half the charm of this place.

Posted by: mikeski at November 25, 2025 07:11 PM (nhCoE)

189 This bikini brunette loves both Thanksgiving *and* Christmas, and thinks the presidential turkey pardon is a bit of silly fun:
http://tiny.cc/n7mv001

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 07:13 PM (0lawO)

190 He won his next election over McGovern.

Well, McGovern was liberal hot garbage.

Posted by: Zombie Ed Muskie, closeted homosexual and communist yankee at November 25, 2025 07:13 PM (R/m4+)

191 One of the ladies on the porch commented archly, "Poor Curly isn't destined to find peace in this world or the next, that's the third time he's been dug up today."
Posted by: Kindltot at November 25, 2025 07:05 PM (rbvCR)

I always liked that when Union troops were restricted to using the top rail of the common split rail fences for firewood on marches, the troops quickly reasoned that if they didn't like the owner that the other rails were now "top rails" and used them too. And patriotic southern Chickens and Pigs sometimes assaulted the poor troops.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:14 PM (8avO+)

192 Joe she looks nice

Posted by: Skip at November 25, 2025 07:14 PM (+qU29)

193 190+ comments on a thread featuring turkeys, and only one instance of "jive"?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 25, 2025 07:14 PM (0sNs1)

194 Zombie Ed Muskie, closeted homosexual and communist yankee
====

And crybaby

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 25, 2025 07:15 PM (A0sqA)

195 Woodrow Wilson was a first class charisma sink

Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 07:15 PM (bfwj/)

196 Woodrow Wilson was a first class charisma sink
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 07:15 PM (bfwj/)

Especially after the stroke.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:15 PM (8avO+)

197 How that bitch wasn’t fired is a mystery. She has to have photos of board members with live boys or dead girls.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 25, 2025 07:02 PM (HW6XE)

Or the pardoned turkeys

Posted by: Beartooth at November 25, 2025 07:15 PM (0714D)

198 190+ comments on a thread featuring turkeys, and only one instance of "jive"?
Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 25, 2025 07:14 PM

Fine.

"It ain't cool to be no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving."

- Big Black Guy

"Yeah."

- Even Bigger Black Guy

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 25, 2025 07:16 PM (Wnv9h)

199 190+ comments on a thread featuring turkeys, and only one instance of "jive"?
Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 25, 2025 07:14 PM (0sNs1)

well two now...or three?

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:17 PM (8avO+)

200 I always liked that when Union troops were restricted to using the top rail of the common split rail fences for firewood on marches, the troops quickly reasoned that if they didn't like the owner that the other rails were now "top rails" and used them too. And patriotic southern Chickens and Pigs sometimes assaulted the poor troops.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:14 PM (8avO
On the other hand, Stonewall fined some of his 'Foot Cavalry' for stealing fence rails in MD and PA.

Posted by: Eromero at November 25, 2025 07:17 PM (LHPAg)

201 34 OT: I had not been paying attention I guess for the past almost year. I did not realize Naughty Dog were trying to launch a new franchise- this time with a woke girl boss taking on *reads notes* Religion!

Neil Druckman really is a useless sack of shit.

I find it difficult to believe but i think people might hate the Bald Chick in that new stupid game even more than AbbyZilla. I think because the actor playing the Bald Chick is also an annoying a**hole.

Posted by: Nelly at November 25, 2025 07:17 PM (Yjkx/)

202 190+ comments on a thread featuring turkeys, and only one instance of "jive"?
Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 25, 2025 07:14 PM (0sNs1)
+++
There is now!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at November 25, 2025 07:19 PM (0lawO)

203 157 Yeah, but I think he appeared on "Laugh In". - Mr. Carlson

I remember seeing that. Was completely caught off guard. Nixon said "Sock it to me?" I thought it was sort of funny, although the intonation - emphasis on "me" - was weird.

Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 07:20 PM (mADJX)

204 On the other hand, Stonewall fined some of his 'Foot Cavalry' for stealing fence rails in MD and PA.
Posted by: Eromero at November 25, 2025 07:17 PM (LHPAg)

In the GBurg campaign they had organized teams going about grabbing horses, cattle, and free blacks and carrying them South. Stonewall was dead by then though.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:20 PM (8avO+)

205 There's nothing jive about turkey that is tender and juicy, carved well, and served warm.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 25, 2025 07:20 PM (A0sqA)

206 I think because the actor playing the Bald Chick is also an annoying a**hole.
Posted by: Nelly at November 25, 2025 07:17 PM (Yjkx/)

She certainly has a Lunchables face.

Posted by: Ike Turner at November 25, 2025 07:21 PM (zZu0s)

207 Fine.

"It ain't cool to be no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving."

- Big Black Guy

"Yeah."

- Even Bigger Black Guy

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 25, 2025 07:16 PM (Wnv9h)

------------

"Quite stealing my schtick, brothers!"
-- Ace's Alter-Ego, Lamont The Big Dummy

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 25, 2025 07:21 PM (cjvQp)

208 End of year Commenter Reviews and Appraisals are approaching fast, and that ain't no jive. You're running out of time to impress Ace and the CoBs.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 25, 2025 07:21 PM (0sNs1)

209 Lol.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 07:22 PM (zZu0s)

210 NOOD cafe

Posted by: Jordan61 at November 25, 2025 07:23 PM (vZ7A2)

211 End of year Commenter Reviews and Appraisals are approaching fast, and that ain't no jive. You're running out of time to impress Ace and the CoBs.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 25, 2025 07:21 PM

Wait, whut?! I haven't even entered my annual commenter goals yet!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 25, 2025 07:23 PM (Wnv9h)

212 I always liked that when Union troops were restricted to using the top rail of the common split rail fences for firewood on marches, the troops quickly reasoned that if they didn't like the owner that the other rails were now "top rails" and used them too. And patriotic southern Chickens and Pigs sometimes assaulted the poor troops.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 07:14 PM (8avO+)

in the Oregon territory the troops were not well supplied and had a bad habit of shooting the odd "slow bear" which was what they called a free range pig.

Posted by: Kindltot at November 25, 2025 07:25 PM (rbvCR)

213 I remember seeing that. Was completely caught off guard. Nixon said "Sock it to me?" I thought it was sort of funny, although the intonation - emphasis on "me" - was weird.

Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 07:20 PM (mADJX)

------------

Are we sure it wasn't Rich Little?

He had a short-lived variety show back in the mid-70s, didn't he?

I remember one skit where he's playing Robin to somebody playing Batman, and he said something like:

"Holy Exposure, Batman -- I've got a rip in my leotard!"

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 25, 2025 07:25 PM (cjvQp)

214 End of year Commenter Reviews and Appraisals are approaching fast, and that ain't no jive. You're running out of time to impress Ace and the CoBs.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 25, 2025 07:21 PM

Wait, whut?! I haven't even entered my annual commenter goals yet!
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 25, 2025 07:23 PM (Wnv9h)

-------------

My performance review by Ace and The COBs last year was a single line:

"Strives for mediocrity, and comes up short ..."

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 25, 2025 07:27 PM (cjvQp)

215 John Adams? - Eeyore

Are you kiddin'? John Adams, not funny? I hear he was the life of the party. Used to wear his powdered wig under his chin and pretend to be Santa Claus, and squeeze the ladies' bums, shouting, "Oh ho! There's a ripe one!"

Thomas Jefferson was the guy who sat in the corner drinking lemonade and doing crossword puzzles (in ink, of course).

Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 07:28 PM (mADJX)

216 Are we sure it wasn't Rich Little? - ShainS

No, definitely Nixon. You can look it up on YouTube.

Btw, David Frye did a hilarious Nixon.

Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 07:31 PM (mADJX)

217 208 End of year Commenter Reviews and Appraisals are approaching fast, and that ain't no jive. You're running out of time to impress Ace and the CoBs. - Duncanthrax

Meh. I'm just interested in the Cost-of-Living increase.

Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 07:33 PM (mADJX)

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