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Olivia Nuzzi's Got a Fuzzi and She Wants All the World to See It
Olivia Nuzzi is -- then was -- and now is again a fantastically overpromoted "journalist."
I first noticed her suddenly appearing everywhere in media about six or eight years ago. I didn't understand why she was suddenly ubiquitous, as she had broken no major stories. She did cover... Anthony Weiner's mayoral campaign, and got the pretty minor scoop that his campaign manager had quit after he lied to her, I think probably about the affair that was revealed during that campaign. But that's not really enough to make a media star, is it? She seemed to be yet another "on author" attitudinal writer, mostly writing slightly-disguised opinion pieces in which the primary point of view was her own and the primary subject was always herself. She was Wonkette with a more aggressive agent. She recently had a fall from grace -- a brief and shallow fall from grace -- when her former fiance, the damp liberal cuckold Ryan Lizza, revealed that she had been having a torrid "digital affair" -- which is a nice way of saying "sexting and dirty pictures with mutual masturbation" -- with Robert F. Kennedy Jr., while writing a piece about him. And, liberals spat: as she was writing unfavorably about his then-opponent, Joe Biden. The left hissed that this breached journalistic ethics but may I ask: what journalistic ethics? What the fuck are you even talking about? Yes, she had a conflict of interest in that she had an emotional attachment to the subject she was writing about and therefore a bias against his political rivals. Which she did not disclose. This is true of the entire media, which has been having an equally torrid "digital affair" (and often, a physical one) with the Democrat Party for decades. Yes, Olivia Nuzzi should have disclosed that she was unable to evaluate RFKJr. objectively. And so should "former" Democrat aide and Gun Control, Inc. spokesman Jake Tapper declare that he, too, in unable to cover the object of his passionate affections with the level of objectivity the media used to pretend to require. Anyway. Olivia Nuzzi's back in the news. She served the briefest exile from "journalism" -- I think she was fired and exiled from "journalism" for, what, a year? -- and is now hired again to be celebrity gossip sheet and reactionary liberal rag Vanity Fair's west coast editor. She also sat for an "interview" with the New York Times as public relations for her return to "journalism." And she's written a book, which I assume is mostly about her adventures in celebrity dick-riding. Vanity Fair excerpted it. Here, she deploys all her Airport Thriller skill as a novelist, by which I mean she can't write worth a f**, to wax eloquently about... the worm that died in RFKJr.'s head, and how she learned to hate that worm and love that worm.
Olivia had just returned from a reporting trip--at least that's what she told me it was--and her Herschel backpack, the one with the flap that never quite closed properly, was tossed beside our bed, its contents scattered on the floor. That's when I noticed the sheets of Kimpton Hotel stationery that would alter the course of our lives. It is surreal now to think back to that room, the one overlooking the courtyard garden that became a metaphor for our decade-long entanglement. It was dazzling during spring's full bloom and foreboding when winter stripped all signs of life. And lurking underground, way in the back, was the invasive bamboo, which grows like a cancer, and if not tamed, would march through the entire courtyard and kill everything.Your metaphors are strained and gay. And how did we move from deciduous trees to bamboo? Pick an arboreal lane, Sir.
I spent hours hacking at the sprouts to keep the bamboo at bay, just as I had with all the secrets that Olivia and I shared.Any chance we're going to get off the bamboo metaphor any time soon?
Okay, so this is what we're doing now. This is about bamboo now. This is a story of bamboo.
I tried to poison the roots, cut off the supply of water and nutrients, and repair the underground wall meant to halt their advance. I should have known that it was futile and that, at some point, the bamboo would take over the garden, and that's all anyone would see.
She was a former child actor? I don't see anything about that on IMDB, except for an appearance on Billions, which I assume was one of those grating journalist-appears-as-herself things. Wikipedia does offer this:
I can still picture the hotel paper and reporting notepads spilling into the walk-in closet, where a year earlier I had spent an afternoon on my knees carefully arranging scores of her boots, high heels, sneakers, and slippers on an enormous shoe rack. Olivia almost cried when she saw the results. "Nobody has ever done anything like that for me," she said. It is tempting now to forget those moments, to see it as a lost decade, and to cast her as a cartoon villain. After all, she deceived me for a year and smeared me with false allegations. And not just little lies but big fantastical falsehoods-- blackmail!, (A former child actor, Olivia always had a keen sense for the dramatic.) She orchestrated a plot with the help of a senior Trump official to try to have me imprisoned, and now she's written what appears to be a largely fictitious and self-serving account about it all. So, yes, I have reason to be annoyed, maybe even a little angry.
In 2010, Nuzzi, as "Livvy," released a song titled "Jailbait," as part of an attempt to launch a music career.Jailbait? That's going to be very relevant soon. Some math tells me that Nuzzi, born in 1993, would be 17 or 18 when she recorded "Jailbait" as "Livvy." Maybe she did her child acting work under a different name, and wants to keep that out of the press. Maybe Lizza will tells us more about it in future reports. (This is Part 1.) Enough about Lizza's style. Here's his first dirt-drop, the first actually interesting facts he has to disclose. But first: More fucking bamboo.
Amor fati, the Stoics advised--love your fate. I have admired that sentiment more than I have practiced it, but that's the spirit that will guide this series of posts. You have one life, so find beauty and humor and wisdom even in the seemingly darkest and most embarrassing chapters. Besides, like bamboo, the truth has a way of forcing itself out into the open. And in this case, the true story is more bizarre, and ultimately more illuminating about politics and media and love, than anything I've ever covered, let alone experienced.Do we have all that out of our systems now? I just got an email:
I'm RIVETED. Signed, A pandaOkay, on to the actual dirt. Remember when I said "Jailbait" would soon be important? I wasn't just saying that. I wasn't just providing roughage and filler to this post without providing real nourishment. I was offering a scaffolding to the next disclosure. Like stalks of bamboo, perhaps. (The panda told me to work that in.)
[I] was used to cleaning up Olivia's messes. Not that long ago, I had helped her untangle herself from an unusual relationship with Keith Olbermann, the former MSNBC host.What? This is an Olbermann story now? The twists! The turns! Keith is tall and plain and rigid and quivers in the wind. Like, say, bamboo.
She had messaged him out of the blue. They started talking, and soon after, she fled her unhappy home in suburban New Jersey and started living with Keith in Manhattan. He paid for her to attend college, outfitted her in Tom Ford and Hervé Léger dresses and some $15,000 worth of Cartier jewelry.She started living with him just out of college? When she was 17 or 18? When she was recording "Jailbait"? This Keith Olbermann, huh?
What do you call it when an older man pays the rent for a much, much younger college student and expects "strings" in return? I guess you could call it a Sugarbaby/Money-Daddy situation. You can also call it a kissing cousin of de facto prostitution. Olbermann himself brags that he did most of Katie Tur's work for her -- he claims he wrote her articles and edited them into a comprehensible state. So he seems to often providing money or service in kind for his much-younger SugarBabies.
Later, he covered her rent and furnished her apartment in a doorman building in the West Village. While Keith, who was 34 years older, was generous, there were strings attached.
This sounds like prostitution. On the other hand, I can't blame her. Who wants a sexual relationship with Keith "This is the finger I write my Special Comments with?" Olbermann publicly known? And if you're not a long-enough reader to get that -- a long time ago, one of his fans wrote a blog-post about him having taken her to a hotel to have sex with her. After he... digitally pleasured her, and this time I don't mean by use of a computer, he triumphantly held up his finger and boasted, "This is the finger I write my Special Comments with!" Allegedly. But who are we kidding?
Olivia had concealed the relationship from me and other friends...
...but one day she told me everything--too much, actually--and together we hatched a plan for her escape.To escape the Olbermann-fronted apartment, they built a long but sturdy ladder out of ten stalks of bamboo. Or at least, I like to imagine that's what they did. I have a feeling it was more boring than that. I would guess that Lizza had to front money to pay for her new, non-Olbermann-fronted apartment. He doesn't confirm that but I'm seeing a pattern with this Nuzzi woman. She climbs and advances chiefly on her back. Now I will give away the main interesting fact divulged by this article. This is a spoiler, because, while Lizza's actual style is dogshit, he does in fact structure this vengeance piece to have a payoff and punchline. So you can read it now if you like. Otherwise, I'm going to ruin it for you. Throughout the article he leads you to believe that when he speaks of Nuzzi's return from the Kimpton Hotel, he's about to talk about his realization that she had an affair with RFKJr. Let me credit him, he builds to this well. He crafts a fine, sturdy structure of bamboo held together firmly by strips of bamboo-skin, flattened and scraped-out to serve as fine ligatures. No but really, he keeps talking about Nuzzi's penchant for older men, for older male political men, and particularly for older male politicians with presidential ambitions. He talks about her having indiscreet relations with sources she's writing about. And then you think, ah, the final piece of the bamboo puzzle. He's about to discover her affair with RFKJr. As he approaches that, we get this, Ryan Lizza's bad writing framing Olivia Nuzzi's bad writing:
But one mess at a time. As I tidied up the desk, something on the Kimpton stationery caught my eye. I started to read. "If I swallowed every drop of water from the tower above your house," Olivia had written, "I would still thirst for you." Unfortunately, the lack of a water tower on our Georgetown home's roof ruled me out as the note's intended recipient.But it's not RJKJR. That comes in later part. This part is about him discovering, in 2020, after she traveled to South Carolina to "interview" another politician involved in a sex scandal, that she apparently had an affair with... (...last chance to read it before the spoiler...)
She later explained to me that she became "infatuated" with him after their interview, that she couldn't get him out of her head, and that as her obsession intensified, she sent him increasingly risqué pictures and texts, secretly followed him on the campaign trail when she told me she was out covering other candidates, and fantasized about a rendezvous, which was consummated at his home in South Carolina one night after she went dark on me and made up a story about how she was dealing with a crisis concerning her sick mother. I was sure our relationship was over. And certainly our book project was dead. She had crossed a journalistic red line. How could we write a book about the presidential campaign if Olivia had a sexual relationship with one of the candidates? I looked at the date on her aborted letter to "Mark": March 5, 2020--just a few days ago. I called my agent. "We have a big problem," I said. "Olivia is sleeping with Mark Sanford."
...Mark Sanford. You remember him, right? The Republican governor who disappeared from work without notice for a week or two only to later be found in the company of an Argentinian woman whom he later abandoned his wife for? So that's Part 1, and we're only up to 2020. I imagine we will have multiple parts and multiple bouts of shameless infidelity before we reach 2024 and Nuzzi's "digital affair" with RFKJr. The legend of Olivia Nuzzi's indiscretions grows rapidly -- much like the fast-growing bamboo forests of India. And I can't lie, I am, like the panda, RIVETED. Here's my takeaway: We must always TrUsT tHe MeDiA because they are all smart, ethical, informed, well-socialized, of unimpeachable character and powerful moral fiber (bamboo-like, one might say) and most of all sane, and have no biases at all that they routinely hide from the public.
Why does Hollywood think female reporters sleep with their sources? http://t.co/l74hijW4W5
— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) January 19, 2015
Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: I used to have a different nic at November 19, 2025 04:15 PM (ExV1e)
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at November 19, 2025 04:16 PM (ExV1e)
Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at November 19, 2025 04:17 PM (XMwZJ)
Posted by: Piper at November 19, 2025 04:17 PM (OoFl2)
Sounds to me like she may be the town sleaze.
Posted by: Piper at November 19, 2025 04:18 PM (OoFl2)
Those pesky Italicans are raising havoc in the nether lands!
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) - what makes you think you are in charge? at November 19, 2025 04:18 PM (xG4kz)
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:19 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 19, 2025 04:19 PM (NwnyJ)
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:20 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: No Name Today at November 19, 2025 04:20 PM (8mulE)
I didn't believe Olivia's claim about her "relationship" with RFK, and I still don't.
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 04:20 PM (Y9x1x)
Or, as her closest friends affectionately call her, "Long Head".
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) - what makes you think you are in charge? at November 19, 2025 04:20 PM (xG4kz)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 19, 2025 04:20 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 19, 2025 04:20 PM (/AUU2)
Posted by: The Barrel at November 19, 2025 04:21 PM (PiwSw)
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) - what makes you think you are in charge? at November 19, 2025 04:21 PM (xG4kz)
Posted by: It's me donna at November 19, 2025 04:21 PM (VE6XX)
Posted by: Elric The Blade at November 19, 2025 04:21 PM (iFTx/)
UPDATE: Undead Hunter Thompson declined the job. Apparently, undeath has messed with his sense of altered states while taking drugs.
That, or there weren't any drugs strong enough for the job. He wasn't too clear on that point.
Posted by: Another Anon at November 19, 2025 04:22 PM (4h45B)
2 dont care
Posted by: r hennigantx at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (gbOdA)
Posted by: not sure at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (4M6Md)
Posted by: dantesed at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (Oy/m2)
I'm kind of surprised there's still such a thing as "Vanity Fair's west coast editor."
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (yr3T9)
Posted by: Piper at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (Wmg4n)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (Zz0t1)
Following Website.... https://r0ad2v0te77.blogspot.com/
Posted by: HOME PROFIT at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (DtylW)
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (1wjle)
me either
she cray cray
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: Elric The Blade at November 19, 2025 04:21 PM (iFTx/)
- - - - - - - - - - -
Get, or give?
Posted by: Another Anon at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (4h45B)
For a mammalian species that seems less interested in procreation than it does in tumbling around in bamboo stands, it sounds a little hard to believe.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at November 19, 2025 04:24 PM (wzUl9)
https://is.gd/z2Cxm4
That's from NotTheBee, about... guess who.
Posted by: No Name Today at November 19, 2025 04:24 PM (8mulE)
Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 19, 2025 04:19 PM (NwnyJ)
Indeed. You don't see that every day.
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 19, 2025 04:24 PM (wVcYX)
This post is one for the ages. Almost, but not quite, exactly as great at the Kaboom post. This needs to be on the sidebar.
And if someone decided to make 'a Panda' a nic, it woult be the cherry on the hilarity sundae you created here.
Posted by: Darrell Harris at November 19, 2025 04:24 PM (0CU3H)
You'd think that someone who was willing to drop enough for rent and designer clothes and jewels could afford better looking hoors.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at November 19, 2025 04:24 PM (ExV1e)
------------------
* George Snuffleupagus has entered the post -- and likely several times -- Fake Tapper's post-bed in his bedroom *
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 04:24 PM (zN2Xt)
Why is a fucking panda bear telling Ace what to do??
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 04:25 PM (Y9x1x)
Posted by: nurse ratched at November 19, 2025 04:25 PM (W2Pud)
Posted by: It's me donna at November 19, 2025 04:21 PM (VE6XX)
=====
I don't know, can you summarize? Because that is a reallllly long post.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 04:25 PM (DRSnL)
......
Sorry, I prefer hardwood.
Posted by: wth at November 19, 2025 04:25 PM (v0R5T)
Posted by: Ben Had at November 19, 2025 04:25 PM (sDNVV)
Posted by: Panda at November 19, 2025 04:25 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:25 PM (zZu0s)
Livvy Nuzzi sucked a Muzzie 'til the Muzzie was dry...
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:26 PM (77rzZ)
==
ace! you are born to write bodice rippers !
Posted by: runner at November 19, 2025 04:26 PM (g47mK)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:26 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: Elric The Blade at November 19, 2025 04:21 PM (iFTx/)
But somehow they remain on the periphery and never quite get to be the bride. They settle a few rungs down. In her case, I don’t know that a few rungs down has interest. She can’t be trusted, clearly.
Posted by: Piper at November 19, 2025 04:26 PM (Wmg4n)
Posted by: FDR's TV at November 19, 2025 04:26 PM (Rz6zo)
launch was TODAY not tomorrow bc someone messed up on the team (got the date wrong) and everything had to GO live a day early
only a couple of major problems tho so lol all good
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: Victor Tango Kilo at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (E3zxl)
The writing is so bad. Quality-wise, apart from content. It's terrible. It's so bad that it was adapted into a movie, Uwe Boll would be directing.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (r7ofC)
I read that in a Gilbert Gottfried voice.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (PiwSw)
>>>When she was 17 or 18?
Jungle for the bamboo. That's HS age, not college grad age, for a dim bulb like Nuzzi.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (7K1CH)
What did I just read ?
Posted by: It's me donna
===============
Something like: Female journalist who uncovers a lot of dirt and sleeps with her sources is back in town, so she celebrates with a tell-all interview. Also, tons of journalists are sleeping with each other and, being journalists, they're writing about it.
I think that's it.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (yr3T9)
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (77rzZ)
My Theory: she was having a "text" "affair" with someone she thought was RFK.
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (Y9x1x)
Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 19, 2025 04:19 PM (NwnyJ)
Indeed. You don't see that every day.
Posted by: Count de Monet
--
For Sure
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (rU9qQ)
Posted by: Case at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (5Je/N)
Posted by: pookysgirl, always taking things literally at November 19, 2025 04:28 PM (Wt5PA)
Posted by: tankdemon at November 19, 2025 04:28 PM (ScUYC)
Posted by: Piper at November 19, 2025 04:17 PM (OoFl2)
Apparently they only did performances of Caligula.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at November 19, 2025 04:28 PM (ExV1e)
The "opinion" is 160 pages. That is ridiculous on its face.
It opens by taunting Roberts.
Then, spends huge chunks of the opinion lobbing rocks at the Supreme Court--amplifying the impropriety of the judges earlier this year whining that the Supreme Court doesn't hold their hand enough.
I think that itself is good news. Also, Abbott has already filed the appeal.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at November 19, 2025 04:28 PM (HXT0k)
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 04:28 PM (Y9x1x)
Posted by: naturalfake at November 19, 2025 04:28 PM (iJfKG)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 19, 2025 04:29 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:29 PM (zZu0s)
Yeah, a panda is a "bear" just like a hyena is a "dog."
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 04:29 PM (Y9x1x)
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 04:27 PM (Y9x1x)
=====
That would be hilarious.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 04:29 PM (DRSnL)
Posted by: Blast Hardcheese at November 19, 2025 04:29 PM (V362x)
Only this time the "heroine" is eager for a mutant worm instead of a studly minotaur.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 19, 2025 04:29 PM (IBQGV)
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 04:29 PM (YwEeS)
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:29 PM (1wjle)
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 19, 2025 04:30 PM (rU9qQ)
I think they're a form of weasel
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 19, 2025 04:29 PM (emBoF)
=====
They're adorable though.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 04:30 PM (DRSnL)
Posted by: Piper at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (Wmg4n)
That's not true. Real men prefer 'experienced' women. -- every single OF chick on the whatever podcast
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at November 19, 2025 04:30 PM (ExV1e)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at November 19, 2025 04:30 PM (mlg/3)
Posted by: PG at November 19, 2025 04:30 PM (3DUTJ)
-----
BWAHHAHAHAHAAHA
Posted by: Seems Legit at November 19, 2025 04:30 PM (PMtkd)
------
I learned from a high school musical (or was it merely a high school comedy--I don't remember any singing) that bamboo was part of Edison's breakthrough in creating lightbulbs that stayed lit for any length of time.
But perhaps considering it was a high school musical (or comedy)...
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 04:30 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 19, 2025 04:31 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 04:31 PM (YwEeS)
Also, gotta say as a guy that would not be what I would particularly want to be seeing from a female sext-buddy.
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:31 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: Bamboo at November 19, 2025 04:31 PM (viF8m)
Posted by: Ben Had at November 19, 2025
Except Kimberly is a lawyer, raised her brother, and was the one cheated on by Gavin. She did go out with Scaramucci, yuck. And then got Trump, before she lost him, but was successful on Fox prior to that. So I don’t know it’s exactly the same, Kimberly also seems like she would be likable.
Posted by: Piper at November 19, 2025 04:31 PM (Wmg4n)
It's hilarious that in a thread about some sleazy journalist we have a spam ad about somebody working from home.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 19, 2025 04:31 PM (Yl2Ob)
I don't think Nuzzi is as good comedy material as the 50 year old teenager reporter now blogger you use to make fun of.
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:31 PM (KDPiq)
Oh, fuckjng Keith Olbermann banged her too. Why are we wasting time on this chick? Ace are you running a mgtow website now?
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:31 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: wth at November 19, 2025 04:31 PM (v0R5T)
they're not pandas - that's a credit to those lil guys
the weasel thing is an old AoS ref or so I thought
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: gKWVE at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (gKWVE)
________
Just read that to my wife, who laughed. IMO if Sharon Tate had lived, no one would remember Dunaway.
Posted by: Eeyore at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (s0JqF)
"If I swallowed every drop of water from the tower above your house," Olivia had written, "I would still thirst for you."
------
That might work...but only if it started with "It was a dark and stormy night..."
Posted by: Renowned Author Snoopy at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: Dr. weft cut-loop at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (mlg/3)
Posted by: Olivia Butters Nuzzi at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (sKqQm)
I'm kind of surprised there's still such a thing as "Vanity Fair's west coast editor."
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (yr3T9)
West Coast of the Hudson. Because as everyone knows, the world ends at Hell's Kitchen.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (y9nCu)
Posted by: Skip at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (+qU29)
This is a story of bamboo.
---------------
He's bending over but he refuses to break his cherry?
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 04:33 PM (zN2Xt)
Posted by: Piper at November 19, 2025 04:33 PM (Wmg4n)
Posted by: That Guy who shouts "En fuego!" at November 19, 2025 04:33 PM (0sNs1)
Posted by: Ralph at November 19, 2025 04:33 PM (8WZD4)
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:33 PM (77rzZ)
I advise against it.
Posted by: Dr. weft cut-loop at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (mlg/3)
People haf different tastes, I say, go for it.
Posted by: Zombie Dr. Ruth at November 19, 2025 04:33 PM (PiwSw)
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 04:34 PM (Y9x1x)
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 19, 2025 04:29 PM (IBQGV)
Oh, she wanted his mutant worm IYKWIM.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at November 19, 2025 04:34 PM (ExV1e)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:34 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (emBoF)
=====
Could be. I never know what's going on.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 04:34 PM (DRSnL)
Posted by: SMOD at November 19, 2025 04:35 PM (RHGPo)
Posted by: Kate Upton at November 19, 2025 04:35 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:35 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 04:35 PM (Y9x1x)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 19, 2025 04:35 PM (emBoF)
-----------------
I understand that Jasmine Ratchet is looking for a new boot-licker -- and that Dick Morris can never get enough toe-suckers.
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 04:35 PM (zN2Xt)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:36 PM (sKqQm)
---
The Fabulous Flaming Fags of Fagtown wrote, in response, "that's pretty fucking gay, bro."
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at November 19, 2025 04:36 PM (HXT0k)
Pffft. Here, smell my *special* finger!
Posted by: Don Lemon at November 19, 2025 04:36 PM (0sNs1)
the weasel thing is an old AoS ref or so I thought
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 19, 2025 04:32 PM (emBoF)
Yes, per Teh Ewok, all animals are in fact some variety of weasel.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 19, 2025 04:36 PM (y9nCu)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:37 PM (sKqQm)
I could happily live the rest of my life never hearing about her again.
No, I didn't read the post.
Posted by: Momlady at November 19, 2025 04:37 PM (DbytK)
Jazzy Jasmine Ratchet went on the House floor and accused all sorts of Republicans of taking money from Epstein. One was Lee Zeldin.
As it turns out, Zeldin did take money from Jeffrey Epstein. A Dr. Jeffrey Epstein, no relation whatsoever with Epstein the pedophile.
And Jazzy Jasmine actually said Zeldin took money "from someone named Jeffrey Epstein", which sort of implies she knew it wasn't *that* Epstein, but someone else.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 04:37 PM (w6EFb)
Posted by: Dr. weft cut-loop at November 19, 2025 04:37 PM (mlg/3)
Stupid people doing stupid things with commentary from funny, smart people is gold.
Posted by: Seems Legit at November 19, 2025 04:37 PM (PMtkd)
I advise against it.
Posted by: Dr. weft cut-loop
Uh oh. Now we're gonna get the age-old fight between the bamboo-fuckers, the toaster-fuckers, and the toaster-fuckers.
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:37 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:36 PM (sKqQm)
Even Helen Thomas???
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at November 19, 2025 04:38 PM (PiwSw)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:37 PM (sKqQm)
----
I *knew* I'd seen that face somewhere before!
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 19, 2025 04:38 PM (IBQGV)
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:38 PM (77rzZ)
Stupid people doing stupid things with commentary from funny, smart people is gold.
thank you. It's disheartening when people just say "I didn't bother reading because it's not something I already heard of"
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:38 PM (1wjle)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:39 PM (sKqQm)
Ahem
JD Vance
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 04:39 PM (YwEeS)
Posted by: SMOD at November 19, 2025 04:39 PM (RHGPo)
Or was (also) he one of those "I'm a church-goer--you can trust me" folks?
Anyway, he probably is the mildest example of conservative Republicans banging every hole in sight.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at November 19, 2025 04:39 PM (HXT0k)
Used to be when these long hilarious pieces posted they were just movie reviews... these days we get the whole screeenplay, printed on bamboo paper.
Well Done, Ace.
Posted by: scottst at November 19, 2025 04:39 PM (gbwMD)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:40 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:36 PM (sKqQm)
Even Helen Thomas???
-------
Are you kidding? She was *something* before electricity!
Posted by: Zombie Rodney D at November 19, 2025 04:40 PM (TN0g+)
I am disappoint that it is about some hack with thick ankles.
Posted by: one hour sober at November 19, 2025 04:40 PM (Y1sOo)
Posted by: The Dog at November 19, 2025 04:40 PM (v0R5T)
[His] SB 145 allows a 24 year old to have sex with a 14 year old, relaxing the penalties for having ‘non-forcible sodomy, oral copulation, and sexual penetration with a minor’
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 19, 2025 04:41 PM (rU9qQ)
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:38 PM (1wjle)
=====
I'm sure it's an awesome post. I'm just at work and dipping in when I have a few minutes.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 04:41 PM (DRSnL)
You may remember SNL did a skit of the "Claudine Longet Invitational" with skiers being shot while coming down the slopes.
Posted by: SMOD at November 19, 2025 04:41 PM (RHGPo)
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Why Do the Heathen Rage? at November 19, 2025 04:42 PM (L/fGl)
i didn't mean you, but thanks.
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:42 PM (1wjle)
After reading that revengepost, I don't ever want to hear another snooty fucking New Yawker bragging about how they're all so ubersophisticated compared to those illiterate toothless cousin-humping rednecks in the rest of the country.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 19, 2025 04:42 PM (y9nCu)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 04:42 PM (xcxpd)
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 04:43 PM (7K1CH)
You are like a Jewish mom so I read because of guilt. And because I don't want to miss comedy gold hidden in the post.
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:43 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 04:43 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:43 PM (sKqQm)
If it makes you feel better I read your stuff.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 19, 2025 04:44 PM (viF8m)
Nuzzi's fuzzi had no hair...
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:44 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley
-------
She's not nearly as dumb as she acts.
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 19, 2025 04:44 PM (rU9qQ)
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at November 19, 2025 04:44 PM (HXT0k)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:36 PM (sKqQm)
Wasn't Barbara Walter's banging that black 60 mins reporter?
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:44 PM (zZu0s)
7-Eleven cashier fired after shooting strangler says company told her to use "store items" for self-defense
https://is.gd/l17tTj
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Why Do the Heathen Rage? at November 19, 2025 04:45 PM (L/fGl)
Posted by: Baba Wawa at November 19, 2025 04:45 PM (sKqQm)
And, turns out Zeldin had another donor named Jeffrey Epstein, this one the owner of some beverage distribution outfit. Both donations were after *the* Jeffrey Epstein "hanged himself".
That shows the sort of crack research Jazzy Jasmine does. But I think she knew it wasn't the actual Epstein of concern here.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 04:45 PM (w6EFb)
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 19, 2025 04:45 PM (7dvAW)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:44 PM (zZu0s)
I think it was a black politician.
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:45 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:36 PM (sKqQm)
Wasn't Barbara Walter's banging that black 60 mins reporter?
Posted by: Aetius451AD
No, the black Senator from Mass., Ed Brooke.
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:46 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: Skip at November 19, 2025 04:46 PM (+qU29)
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 19, 2025 04:45 PM (7dvAW)
it dumped her via text message
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 04:46 PM (xcxpd)
Posted by: Baba Wawa at November 19, 2025 04:46 PM (sKqQm)
To be honest didn't all the of the original big named female journalists get there by banging male politicans?
Posted by: 18-1 at November 19, 2025 04:36 PM (sKqQm)
Even Helen Thomas???
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at November 19, 2025 04:38 PM (PiwSw)
Story was that around Henry Kissinger even the crack of dawn wasn't safe.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 19, 2025 04:46 PM (y9nCu)
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:46 PM (1wjle)
I am very out of shape, and when I laugh I start coughing.
Thank you Ace, this post almost gave me a coronary.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 19, 2025 04:47 PM (7dvAW)
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (UJMvS) at November 19, 2025 04:47 PM (UJMvS)
7-Eleven cashier fired after shooting strangler says company told her to use "store items" for self-defense
------
Wait, so she used a Colt rather than her 7-11 issued Taurus?
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 04:47 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:38 PM
What are the people who do me, chopped liver?
Posted by: Football at November 19, 2025 04:48 PM (0sNs1)
She's got it going on.
Posted by: torabora at November 19, 2025 04:49 PM (KtOUo)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:49 PM (zZu0s)
7-Eleven cashier fired after shooting strangler says company told her to use "store items" for self-defense
------
Wait, so she used a Colt rather than her 7-11 issued Taurus?
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 04:47 PM (TN0g+)
I rise in defense of the Taurus 709 and G2c..they're good guns. And didn't do nuffin wrong...
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 04:49 PM (xcxpd)
Posted by: Tom Servo at November 19, 2025 04:49 PM (/ZNPI)
we'll know in part 3, I hope
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:46 PM (1wjle)
You gotta walk the tightrope here, or you'll risk attracting the panda furries.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 04:49 PM (7K1CH)
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 19, 2025 04:49 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, diseased garbage human at November 19, 2025 04:49 PM (P7vXf)
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:38 PM
What are the people who do me, chopped liver?
Posted by: Football at November 19, 2025 04:48 PM
And the people who 'do' me?
Posted by: Monkey at November 19, 2025 04:50 PM (sme8d)
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:50 PM (1wjle)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 19, 2025 04:50 PM (bfwj/)
Posted by: Baba Wawa at November 19, 2025 04:50 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (WFtAr)
Lesbian pleads guilty to lying about her ex committing "first crime in space"
https://is.gd/pXxqdW
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Why Do the Heathen Rage? at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (L/fGl)
Posted by: Seems Legit at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (PMtkd)
Why is a fucking panda bear telling Ace what to do??
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 04:25 PM (Y9x1x)
Its a stipulation of a very hush hush agreement that kept pandas from filing a defamation suit for all the panda hijinks exposed during the Cafes.
Posted by: tankdemon at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (ScUYC)
I did an image search. She's not attractive at all - she has a jaw like a front end loader.
You got to give her credit though, anyone who can get that face to pay for a doorman building in Manhattan must have a magical pussy. Stay away from that .
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (7dvAW)
People that do it ON couches or people that do it WITH couches?
Yes.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, diseased garbage human at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (P7vXf)
Posted by: Seems Legit at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (PMtkd)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:44 PM (zZu0s)
and Castro.
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: Baba Wawa at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (KDPiq)
Stupid people doing stupid things with commentary from funny, smart people is gold.
thank you. It's disheartening when people just say "I didn't bother reading because it's not something I already heard of"
I'm sorry - attempt at snark falls badly flat. I've been coming here for 20 years just because of ace's weapons-grade cruelty and whit!
I did actually read it - loved the bamboo references; she just nauseates me.
Posted by: Momlady at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (DbytK)
Also, nobody should ever trust a Kennedy.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (abIsI)
Posted by: Football
When I was a kid, our dog Amos would frequently hump a basketball. I used to think that it was because he was a dumbass, but as an adult I realize it was just fapping.
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: SciVo at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (VB5xp)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (Zz0t1)
Added for comic effect.
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:53 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at November 19, 2025 04:53 PM (nLlkW)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (KDPiq)
Taylor Lorenz
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at November 19, 2025 04:53 PM (BsBkM)
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 04:53 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:53 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (KDPiq)
Taylor Lorenz?
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 04:53 PM (7K1CH)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 04:53 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 19, 2025 04:53 PM (rU9qQ)
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 04:54 PM (7K1CH)
Posted by: Baba Wawa at November 19, 2025 04:54 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: gKWVE at November 19, 2025 04:54 PM (gKWVE)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:53 PM (KDPiq)
=====
But she probably did.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 04:54 PM (DRSnL)
yeah I don't get it either.
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:54 PM (1wjle)
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 04:53 PM (7K1CH)
Thank you.
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:54 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (Zz0t1)
-------------
We're ruling this: "fake butt accurate."
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (UJMvS) at November 19, 2025 04:54 PM (UJMvS)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:54 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 04:54 PM (g6TN6)
it's like Lady or the Tiger. You decide.
(But the quote is fake.)
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:55 PM (1wjle)
Wasn't Barbara Walter's banging that black 60 mins reporter?
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:44 PM (zZu0s)
I seem to remember that she banged Che Guevara as well. As payment for an exclusive TV interview.
If true, that should cause widespread nausea, as Che was rumored to have an extremely casual attitude towards personal hygiene.
A common Marxist failing, going back to fat Karl himself.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 19, 2025 04:55 PM (y9nCu)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 04:55 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:44 PM (zZu0s)
and Castro.
Posted by: toby928(c
---
and Kennedy
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (rU9qQ)
Nuzzi is no Hope Solo.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (w6EFb)
(Nice post, Ace. Entertaining as hell...light hearted...and I no longer crave new video of the US Navy crushing Venezuelan speed boats to cheer me up).
Posted by: Orson at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (dIske)
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (YwEeS)
7-Eleven cashier fired after shooting strangler says company told her to use "store items" for self-defense
------
Wait, so she used a Colt rather than her 7-11 issued Taurus
When I worked there all we had was a Hi-Point yeet canon in 9mm
Posted by: Oh noes ! at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (HcoTw)
> Olivia almost cried when she saw the results. "Nobody has ever done anything like that for me," she said.
They weren't tears of joy my friend. I honestly can't think of a less masculine way to surprise your significant other.
Posted by: Big Trans at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (1Nv0l)
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (bfwj/)
youtu.be/dpeU7jlGqIw
Posted by: gKWVE at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (gKWVE)
Posted by: MUMR at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (ijJNP)
Posted by: gKWVE at November 19, 2025 04:54 PM (gKWVE)
Heh. There was a meme video on youtube of a girl standing beside a brand new car. Caption: 'the family i babysit for bought me a new car when I turned 18!' Beside the meme: 'I have a theory.'
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (zZu0s)
Nuzzi is no Hope Solo.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (w6EFb)
There can be only one.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (7K1CH)
Posted by: Diogenes at November 19, 2025 04:57 PM (2WIwB)
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 04:57 PM (w6EFb)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 04:57 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Don't blame the alligators at November 19, 2025 04:57 PM (1Nv0l)
Posted by: Football
But, other than that, Mr. Ace...
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 04:57 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:57 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: tcn, Pickle Queen in AK at November 19, 2025 04:58 PM (6Bc88)
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 04:58 PM (w6EFb)
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 19, 2025 04:58 PM (7dvAW)
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (7dvAW)
=====
If you told me she was a tranny I'd believe you.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 04:58 PM (DRSnL)
The old wrinkled penny
Posted by: Oh noes ! at November 19, 2025 04:58 PM (HcoTw)
that's my guess but it's only speculation.
She does seem like a Butthole Snap kinda gal.
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:59 PM (1wjle)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo
------
Yeah, my gun brand knowledge is at least 20 years out of date. Once upon a time a Taurus was a "starter" item, but their quality is not questioned in the current day and age.
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 04:59 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 04:56 PM (7K1CH)
=====
ISWYDT
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 04:59 PM (DRSnL)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer
......
He just porked Nuzzi and the dog is thinking 'Why, oh why?"
Posted by: The Dog at November 19, 2025 04:59 PM (v0R5T)
And if someone decided to make 'a Panda' a nic, it woult be the cherry on the hilarity sundae you created here.
Posted by: Darrell Harris at November 19, 2025 04:24 PM (0CU3H)
Totally agreed. This is classic top-tier Ace.
Posted by: Ian S. at November 19, 2025 04:59 PM (2ocoG)
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:59 PM (1wjle)
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:59 PM (1wjle)
------
Wait, so she used a Colt rather than her 7-11 issued Taurus
When I worked there all we had was a Hi-Point yeet canon in 9mm
Posted by: Oh noes
--------------
I think they mean the cans of Dinty Moore.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (7dvAW)
https://tinyurl.com/8pym6eyn
Posted by: redridinghood at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (NpAcC)
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport
But, other than that, Mr. Ace...
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: Auspex at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (Y8DZL)
"I'm RIVETED.
Signed,
A panda"
--------------
lmao
Classic Ace!
Bamboo Ace is best Ace ...
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (zN2Xt)
Posted by: Inquiring Minds Are Afraid To Ask at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (fKeBm)
Posted by: Braenyard
Is there any woman from the era this guy was not fucking? I’m starting to think a jealous husband/boyfriend was the real assassin. 🤣
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 19, 2025 05:01 PM (/AUU2)
Wait, Nuzzi has a bamboo butt plug?
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 05:01 PM (w6EFb)
Posted by: Inquiring Minds Are Afraid To Ask at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (fKeBm)
It's a metaphor for her legs.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 05:02 PM (7K1CH)
Potted meat. Delicious and can be used as a weapon - Karl Childers
Posted by: Oh noes ! at November 19, 2025 05:02 PM (HcoTw)
Posted by: ace at November 19, 2025 04:59 PM (1wjle)
Asshole......
Posted by: Rachel Corrie at November 19, 2025 05:02 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Inquiring Minds Are Afraid To Ask at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (fKeBm)
---
Fartclam.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 19, 2025 05:02 PM (IBQGV)
-----
I've always believed Gates was quite capable of making visits to Epstein's island.
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 05:02 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at November 19, 2025 05:02 PM (HXT0k)
Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at November 19, 2025 05:03 PM (sAmhv)
Posted by: Skip at November 19, 2025 05:03 PM (+qU29)
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 05:01 PM (w6EFb)
That's irresponsible speculation. But it's damn near conclusive that Lizza does.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 05:03 PM (7K1CH)
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:03 PM (PCK5/)
Posted by: Inquiring Minds Are Afraid To Ask at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (fKeBm)
---
Fartclam.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 19, 2025 05:02 PM (IBQGV)
Classic callback
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 05:03 PM (xcxpd)
https://instapundit.com/757541/
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (YwEeS)
Posted by: Tom Servo at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (/ZNPI)
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:03 PM (PCK5/)
---
The Cliffs Notes don't do it justice.
You have to strap yourself in and feel the g's!
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (IBQGV)
She has the face of a Longobard peasant woman. Straight out of the 6th century. She needs a gallery in the Museo Archeologico in Milan with mosaic tile floors.
Posted by: Ted Torgerson at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (R86kT)
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at November 19, 2025 05:02 PM (IBQGV)
Classic callback
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 05:03 PM (xcxpd)
=====
I have the screenshot of the first time Ace used it.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (DRSnL)
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 05:02 PM (TN0g+)
Their NDAs are epically paranoid.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (7K1CH)
Posted by: Skip
Lezbos don't scream. They harangue, which is worse.
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: BifBewalski - at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (QVmho)
Daily Mail had something the other day about one of Epstein's victims claiming he was doing "medical experiments" on girls at his New Mexico ranch. That was part of his breeding fantasy (he wanted to spread his DNA everywhere).
I can see Gates getting into that.... These guys get into Bond villain territory.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (w6EFb)
Gives new meaning to flying scissors
Posted by: Oh noes ! at November 19, 2025 05:05 PM (HcoTw)
https://tinyurl.com/8pym6eyn
Posted by: redridinghood at November 19, 2025 05:00 PM (NpAcC)
It pic of the Gates family. The blonde on the left.....adopted?
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 05:05 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: CaliGirl at November 19, 2025 05:05 PM (Cg3Gl)
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 04:59 PM
Only because a number of Gub Thread commenters, myself included, don't even think about Taurus anymore, and therefore never question their quality.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 19, 2025 05:06 PM (0sNs1)
Planning to block out the sun puts Gates literally in Bond villain territory. Though he’s probably one of the mobsters in the map room rather than the mastermind.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at November 19, 2025 05:06 PM (olroh)
I have the screenshot of the first time Ace used it.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (DRSnL)
Should anyone ever make the "pix or it didn't happen" demand on that moment.......
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 05:06 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:06 PM (PCK5/)
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 05:06 PM (YwEeS)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 05:07 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: Football at November 19, 2025 04:48 PM (0sNs1)
People don't "do you." Monkeys "do you."
Posted by: tankdemon at November 19, 2025 05:07 PM (ScUYC)
Hi-point really has a 9mm called Yeet Cannon. Yours for 250 bucks
Posted by: Oh noes ! at November 19, 2025 05:07 PM (HcoTw)
Simp arranged her shoe closet. Confirmed him in the simp zone.
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:08 PM (krQz2)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (KDPiq)
I assume you mean Taylor Lorenz, the World's Oldest Millenial. Link to Oilfield Rando's immortal Twitter/X post about her (shorter URL this way):
https://instapundit.com/714383/
Posted by: SciVo at November 19, 2025 05:08 PM (VB5xp)
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 05:08 PM (YwEeS)
Daily Mail had something the other day about one of Epstein's victims claiming he was doing "medical experiments" on girls at his New Mexico ranch. That was part of his breeding fantasy (he wanted to spread his DNA everywhere).
I can see Gates getting into that.... These guys get into Bond villain territory.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 05:04 PM (w6EFb)
Microsoft Milking Farm
Posted by: Chick Lit at November 19, 2025 05:08 PM (BsBkM)
Posted by: naturalfake at November 19, 2025 05:08 PM (iJfKG)
Lesbians In Space!
Lesbian pleads guilty to lying about her ex committing "first crime in space"
https://is.gd/pXxqdW
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Why Do the Heathen Rage? at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (L/fGl)
Donk commie cocksuckers sure do love their "historic firsts".
And before you degenerates point out that lesbians don't slob the knob, have you considered that they turned lesbo after doing it to Chad, who immediately ghosted them and breaking their heart?
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 19, 2025 05:08 PM (y9nCu)
Hi-point really has a 9mm called Yeet Cannon. Yours for 250 bucks
Posted by: Oh noes ! at November 19, 2025 05:07 PM (HcoTw)
I carry a 709 Slim....it's not terrible. But, I'd be in the market for a replacement without regret.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 05:08 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 05:07 PM (KDPiq)
---
Before or after the Kung-fu fighting?
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:08 PM (krQz2)
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 04:59 PM
Only because a number of Gub Thread commenters, myself included, don't even think about Taurus anymore, and therefore never question their quality.
------
I thought that the Taurus Judge has a pretty good reputation?
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 05:09 PM (TN0g+)
---------------
I'm envisioning a law firm partnership with Kommie-la and Comrade Mom-body:
"Scuzzy, Muzzy, & Nuzzy."
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 05:09 PM (zN2Xt)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 05:09 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair
The villain in the first Despicable Me flick was obviously based on Gates.
Posted by: Bulg at November 19, 2025 05:09 PM (77rzZ)
Simp arranged her shoe closet. Confirmed him in the simp zone.
Posted by: Axeman
--------------------
The shoes bought for her by other men.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 19, 2025 05:10 PM (7dvAW)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone
I thought that was Olivia doing a little "Nuzzi-ing" of her own. Isn't that what the boyfriend implied?
Posted by: My Dog Is Named Olivia And She Wont Stop Sniffing Crotch at November 19, 2025 05:10 PM (fKeBm)
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:10 PM (krQz2)
Lesbian pleads guilty to lying about her ex committing "first crime in space"
https://is.gd/pXxqdW
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Why Do the Heathen Rage? at November 19, 2025 04:51 PM (L/fGl)
She was a NASA 'Top' astronaut?
No wonder NASA is in the shitter......
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 05:10 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Oh noes ! at November 19, 2025 05:10 PM (HcoTw)
"Melinda now runs a glitzy philanthropy organization called Pivotal Ventures in Seattle."
"Glitzy philanthropy????" Um...
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at November 19, 2025 05:10 PM (PiwSw)
Maybe there are none.
Posted by: wth at November 19, 2025 05:11 PM (v0R5T)
not certain whether typo or calling her a gold-digger
Posted by: anachronda at November 19, 2025 05:11 PM (yfcxA)
-----
Literally, only seconds apart.
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 05:11 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 05:11 PM (YwEeS)
Posted by: Exiled2Texas at November 19, 2025 05:12 PM (YINx+)
I'm RIVETED.
Signed,
A panda
Love this!!
Posted by: Cheri at November 19, 2025 05:12 PM (oiNtH)
And I'm sure she's seen plenty of nuts.
Re: RFK Jr.
What's this you're telling me? A Kennedy fucked and chucked some slattern? Well, that's certainly unprecedented in the history of the Kennedy clan, right?
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:12 PM (IG3/x)
Several of NASA's latest crop of she-astronauts look like lesbos.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 05:12 PM (w6EFb)
Posted by: CaliGirl at November 19, 2025 05:12 PM (AZf41)
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 05:12 PM (DRSnL)
Maybe there are none.
------
Lyrics can be nuanced.
Posted by: Benny Mardones at November 19, 2025 05:12 PM (TN0g+)
Ace should've mentioned that Olivia Nuzzi looks like a female Female Impersonator.
*a Space Ice reference
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 05:13 PM (Y9x1x)
"Melinda now runs a glitzy philanthropy organization called Pivotal Ventures in Seattle."
"Glitzy philanthropy????" Um...
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at November 19, 2025 05:10 PM (PiwSw)
You know who has jungle fever. Bezo's ex. She's donated about 700 million so far to HBCU.
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 05:13 PM (KDPiq)
Lyrics can be nuanced.
Posted by: Benny Mardones at November 19, 2025 05:12 PM (TN0g+)
Avoid Queensrÿche........
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 05:13 PM (Zz0t1)
The only way this could be better (and funnier) is if VDH guest-posted, nagging Teh Ewok about being crueller than usual.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 19, 2025 05:13 PM (y9nCu)
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 05:14 PM (Y9x1x)
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 05:06 PM (YwEeS)
A modern day Johnny Appleseed, he is.
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 19, 2025 05:14 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: Jack Squat Bupkis at November 19, 2025 05:14 PM (GD2xa)
Get it?
a female female impersonator is a woman who looks like a man who is trying to look like a woman.
Get it?
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 05:14 PM (Y9x1x)
For instance, michelle obama.
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 05:14 PM (Y9x1x)
OBJECTION! Assumes facts not in evidence. There's no proof Michelle is a female.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 05:14 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:15 PM (krQz2)
Posted by: Benny Mardones at November 19, 2025 05:12 PM (TN0g+)
Avoid Queensrÿche........
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 05:13 PM (Zz0t1)
---
I Will Remember.
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:15 PM (krQz2)
a female female impersonator is a woman who looks like a man who is trying to look like a woman.
Get it?
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 19, 2025 05:14 PM (Y9x1x)
Another subject King of the Hill had an episode about.
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 05:15 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:16 PM (krQz2)
Posted by: naturalfake at November 19, 2025 05:16 PM (iJfKG)
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 05:16 PM (YwEeS)
Posted by: Ted Torgerson at November 19, 2025 05:16 PM (R86kT)
Posted by: Sponge
I raised some strong evidence she is female: because she whines all the time for validation.
(Men when we whine is because we're trying to get out of doing real work.)
Posted by: gKWVE at November 19, 2025 05:17 PM (gKWVE)
Posted by: Benny Mardones at November 19, 2025 05:12 PM (TN0g+)
Avoid Queensrÿche........
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at November 19, 2025 05:13 PM (Zz0t1)
---
I Will Remember.
-------
*golf clap*
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 05:17 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: SpeakingOf at November 19, 2025 05:17 PM (6ydKt)
Posted by: Don't blame the alligators at November 19, 2025 05:17 PM (1Nv0l)
Posted by: Piper at November 19, 2025 04:23 PM (Wmg4n)
That's not true. Real men prefer 'experienced' women. -- every single OF chick on the whatever podcast
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at November 19, 2025 04:30 PM (ExV1e)
It's amazing how the girls there can speak as if they were dropped on Planet Earth 20 minutes ago, but sound so sure of their absolutely wrong views about how men feel about it.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 19, 2025 05:18 PM (8avO+)
Posted by: Cheri at November 19, 2025 05:18 PM (oiNtH)
You tards MUST read every word of this post. It's Ace at his best. Everything made me laugh.
Stupid people doing stupid things with commentary from funny, smart people is gold.
Posted by: Seems Legit
Word up.
I read the content, even Lizza's, and grabbed #200-ish as a result. Totally worth it
Fixed a word there from what seemed to be an autocorrect
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 05:18 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: Don't blame the alligators at November 19, 2025 05:17 PM (1Nv0l)
It's a write-off, Jerry. He just writes it off!
Posted by: Kramer at November 19, 2025 05:18 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 05:06 PM (YwEeS)
I've actually seen dimwitted leftoids call him an "incel" (which, if you're not up on the slang of Today's Yoot, means "involuntary celibate").
Bro has 14 children by a long succession of extremely hot (albeit often crazy) women. I'm PRETTY SURE he's not "celibate".
Now if he could up his standards just a bit and stop sticking it in crazy...
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:18 PM (IG3/x)
Posted by: steevy at November 19, 2025 05:16 PM (YwE
Proves avoid looking couple won't always have good looking children.
The Bruce Willis girls are another example. Not their fault.
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 05:19 PM (KDPiq)
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 05:09 PM (TN0g+)
It's horrible, and I say that as a (limited) Taurus supporter. So is the S&W version. Terrible .45 Colt platform, bad .410 platform. ONLY use I can think of is as a dedicated snake gun and...there are better options.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 05:19 PM (xcxpd)
Posted by: Lindsey Graham, closeted homosexual at November 19, 2025 05:19 PM (7WWol)
Oh, now I see it. I don’t have the money.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at November 19, 2025 05:19 PM (1YTUp)
Posted by: Ted Torgerson
--
Yep. Kick her out. No drama. Just out. Block her. She never existed.
Posted by: Don't blame the alligators at November 19, 2025 05:19 PM (1Nv0l)
Posted by: Corona_exile_back_in_exile at November 19, 2025 05:19 PM (UE0CA)
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:20 PM (krQz2)
Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at November 19, 2025 05:20 PM (kTd/k)
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 05:20 PM (w6EFb)
I thought that the Taurus Judge has a pretty good reputation?
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 05:09 PM (TN0g+)
I understand that Hi-Point was working on their own version of the Judge. Smith and Wesson had their version called the Governor.
Hi Point was rumored to be leaning towards calling it The Defendant.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 19, 2025 05:21 PM (y9nCu)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 19, 2025 05:21 PM (npFr7)
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia
---
Some of them are sane. A bunch of them live on a compound in Austin. It's a bit weird if you ask me.
Posted by: Don't blame the alligators at November 19, 2025 05:21 PM (1Nv0l)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 04:52 PM (KDPiq)
I assume you mean Taylor Lorenz, the World's Oldest Millenial. Link to Oilfield Rando's immortal Twitter/X post about her (shorter URL this way):
https://instapundit.com/714383/
Posted by: SciVo at November 19, 2025 05:08 PM (VB5xp)
Taylor is from the 1000's Millenial.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 19, 2025 05:22 PM (8avO+)
Posted by: Billy Silly at November 19, 2025 05:22 PM (Vu7A1)
Gotta say, I've never really seen a Marfan syndrome woman before. Never looked for one either, but apparently her name is Olivia
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 05:22 PM (g6TN6)
Oh, now I see it. I don’t have the money.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at November 19, 2025 05:19 PM (1YTUp)
In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.
Posted by: Tony Montana at November 19, 2025 05:22 PM (wVcYX)
Kind of late in the thread, but I wonder how much trashier Mark Sanford can get.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 19, 2025 05:23 PM (yr3T9)
Of of the "female" astronauts is obviously a man. Her very name says it all, "Nicole A. Mann".
Nicole, a man.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 05:23 PM (w6EFb)
Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2025 05:23 PM (rO4EG)
Several of NASA's latest crop of she-astronauts look like lesbos.
Posted by: publius
Ride, Sally Ride!
Or is it scissor?
Posted by: Auspex at November 19, 2025 05:24 PM (Y8DZL)
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 19, 2025 05:24 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: Ted Torgerson at November 19, 2025 05:16 PM (R86kT)
Not being pissed off about it visibly is the one thing that will drive her up the wall.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 19, 2025 05:24 PM (8avO+)
Kind of late in the thread, but I wonder how much trashier Mark Sanford can get.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 19, 2025 05:23 PM (yr3T9)
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
Posted by: Mark Sanford at November 19, 2025 05:25 PM (y9nCu)
Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at November 19, 2025 05:20 PM (kTd/k)
---
I'm thinking that all female reporter are like the village bicycle.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:25 PM (ZOv7s)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 05:07 PM
Run amok.
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 19, 2025 05:24 PM (jc0TO)
=====
Hoodwinked.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 05:25 PM (DRSnL)
Posted by: zombie at November 19, 2025 05:25 PM (oraVG)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 05:07 PM
Run amok.
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 19, 2025 05:24 PM (jc0TO)
---
That was the Kung-Fu fighting.
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:25 PM (krQz2)
Posted by: DC JournoLIST at November 19, 2025 05:25 PM (UE0CA)
Let's see, she was the first American female woman in space, right? And she was indeed a lesbian, but kept it in the closet during her career.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at November 19, 2025 05:26 PM (w6EFb)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 05:19 PM
I wouldn't say the S&W Governor is horrible, but the next sentence is correct (I would add *short-range* SD as a use), and there ARE better options for all.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 19, 2025 05:26 PM (0sNs1)
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at November 19, 2025 05:26 PM (1YTUp)
Posted by: Smell the Glove
So, dicktation then.
Posted by: Stu Podaso at November 19, 2025 05:26 PM (4useT)
Posted by: scampydog at November 19, 2025 05:27 PM (2bFN5)
Posted by: Tony Montana
Then when you get the women, you lose the money.
Posted by: zombie at November 19, 2025 05:27 PM (oraVG)
Posted by: Cheech & Chong at November 19, 2025 05:27 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 05:19 PM (xcxpd)
---
It is an outstanding anti-vampire weapon system. Load it with incendiary shells and you can drop just about any generation with aggravated damage. Soak this! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:27 PM (ZOv7s)
Posted by: publius
Ride, Sally Ride!
-----
Sally Ride's last words: "What does this button do?".
Posted by: Crusader at November 19, 2025 05:27 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 19, 2025 05:28 PM (wZvvl)
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at November 19, 2025 05:26 PM (1YTUp)
---
She wanted both of them to have the freedom to date other men.
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:28 PM (krQz2)
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:28 PM (PCK5/)
Posted by: Mary Cloggistein from Brattleboro, Vt at November 19, 2025 05:28 PM (357Ky)
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:28 PM (IG3/x)
Lesbians in Space, I have seen that documentary. But I thought it had "Busty" as the first word in the title
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 05:28 PM (g6TN6)
Stupid people doing stupid things with commentary from funny, smart people is gold.
Posted by: Seems Legit at November 19, 2025 04:37 PM (PMtkd)
I did read, and this is truth. Nice work, Ace.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 19, 2025 05:28 PM (npFr7)
Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 19, 2025 05:26 PM (0sNs1)
---
The late, great Paul Harrell has four videos where he tries to find one thing it is good at. Spoiler alert: he never does. There's always a better alternative.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:29 PM (ZOv7s)
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:29 PM (PCK5/)
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 05:29 PM (g6TN6)
I would consider it but for the precedent it might set.
Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2025 05:30 PM (rO4EG)
Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 19, 2025 05:31 PM (NwnyJ)
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:25 PM
Those chimps were fast as lightning..
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 19, 2025 05:31 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: Corona_exile_back_in_exile at November 19, 2025 05:32 PM (UE0CA)
Posted by: Groot at November 19, 2025 05:32 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: Crusader, Realtor at November 19, 2025 05:33 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2025 05:33 PM (rO4EG)
That line right there explains why "creative writing" professors have to profess rather than writing successful fiction.
"Describe meaningless bullshit using overwrought, excessively-descriptive phases".
There. I just saved y'all four years of tuition.
What the FUCK does this description of the backpack have to do with advancing the story?
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:34 PM (IG3/x)
Had some "mineralized" bamboo flooring, it was tough as nails. Califloors or something, really nice.
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 05:35 PM (g6TN6)
https://is.gd/l17tTj
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Why Do the Heathen Rage? at November 19, 2025 04:45 PM (L/fGl)
She can now probably get a much better job at a gun shop. Sales multiplier: "See Stephanie over there? She got a job here because she is alive. She is alive because she used a gun to shoot an assailant who was strangling her at the 7-11 where she worked. A gun can save your life, too, ma'am!"
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 19, 2025 05:35 PM (npFr7)
From the sounds of things...
none of her flaps were ever properly closed for long.
Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2025 05:35 PM (rO4EG)
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:29 PM (PCK5/)
---------------
And the Pet Thread!
I wonder what Ace had named his pet panda?
Ryan? Lizza? Fuzzy?
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 05:35 PM (hxV5/)
Posted by: Lori Lightfoot at November 19, 2025 05:36 PM (7WWol)
---
When you "rescue" an old fart's newest young piece, you're asking for trouble.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:36 PM (ZOv7s)
Posted by: Crusader, Realtor at November 19, 2025 05:33 PM (TN0g+)
Never tried it as flooring. I do like it for cutting boards. More durable than plastic, less expensive than real wood. Cheap enough that you can toss it out without any qualms when it starts getting hacked up or stained.
Biodegradable, too, if you care about that.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:36 PM (IG3/x)
It shows how careless she was of valuable things, Rodrigo. I assume at least that the bag is somehow expensive and fashionable, IDK. But I think the point would be that she breaks what is given to her that is worthwhile because she is a careless fucking slut
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 05:37 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: Elric the Blade at November 19, 2025 05:37 PM (SUmKb)
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:28 PM (PCK5/)
Yes. Read them all.
There will be a quiz.
Posted by: tankdemon at November 19, 2025 05:37 PM (ScUYC)
Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 19, 2025 05:37 PM (9ipOP)
Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2025 05:35 PM (rO4EG)
---
More notches in her bedpost than a case of pan flutes.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:38 PM (ZOv7s)
Never tried it as flooring. I do like it for cutting boards. More durable than plastic, less expensive than real wood. Cheap enough that you can toss it out without any qualms when it starts getting hacked up or stained.
Biodegradable, too, if you care about that.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:36 PM (IG3/x)
Not at all, but the cheap part sounds interesting.
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:38 PM (PCK5/)
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 05:29 PM (g6TN6)
Not bad for a chick with a baboon face.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 05:38 PM (dK+Kv)
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:34 PM (IG3/x)
----------------
Clearly a metaphor for her vagina.
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 05:38 PM (hxV5/)
https://is.gd/GXzhw3
@seanmdav
Well we certainly can't have dirty old buildings getting power-washed without a federal judge saying it's okay. A building being cleaned without the approval of some braindead, unelected idiot with a law degree would be the end of democracy.
==
That "judge", she looks like a man.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket at November 19, 2025 05:38 PM (ULPxl)
I would have deluged her with assignments interviewing all kinds of fun stuff...circus freaks, tyrannical dictators, celebrities with a reputation for poor hygiene, and midgets. Every other assignment would have been a midget.
Just to see where she drew the line. Obviously, considering her past, the line is a bit blurry and flexible.
Posted by: Orson at November 19, 2025 05:38 PM (dIske)
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 05:39 PM (g6TN6)
Ew.
Man, she must be good in the sack to get her college, rent, and wardrobe covered.
You could say she bamboo-zzled him!
Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2025 05:39 PM (49/Bh)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards
======
Agree. Gimmick gun for people that are newbie gun buyers.
About like that weird bent frame Taurus micro pistol. Designed to mold around people's waist lines.
Posted by: whig at November 19, 2025 05:39 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:34 PM (IG3/x)
----------------
Clearly a metaphor for her vagina.
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 05:38 PM (hxV5/)
Sort of a “Famous Blue Raincoat/Your Scarf it was Apricot” sort of thing?
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:39 PM (PCK5/)
Posted by: Groot at November 19, 2025 05:32 PM (wVcYX)
I had sex with Groot!
Posted by: Lori Lightfoot at November 19, 2025 05:36 PM (7WWol)
---
So did I!
Posted by: Olivia Nuzzi at November 19, 2025 05:39 PM (krQz2)
Posted by: Elric the Blade
Gabriel Malor?
Or maybe she did and that explains everything.
Posted by: gKWVE at November 19, 2025 05:39 PM (gKWVE)
With this resume, I'd question anyone how hired her for anything. You think if she was blowing the people she was interviewing; she also wasn't blowing the editor?
Posted by: El Mariachi - Attorney at Law at November 19, 2025 05:40 PM (C3IAS)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 19, 2025 05:21 PM (y9nCu)
Cobray had a variant called the Trustee, didn't it?
Posted by: Kindltot at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (rbvCR)
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Why Do the Heathen Rage? at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (L/fGl)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 05:19 PM (xcxpd)
---
It is an outstanding anti-vampire weapon system. Load it with incendiary shells and you can drop just about any generation with aggravated damage. Soak this! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:27 PM (ZOv7s)
Eh. 410 dragonsbreath rounds are lame and do very little damage even to ballistic gel. If you need fire damage, .45 ACP Tracer or WW2-era Inc rounds are still a better, lighter option.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (xcxpd)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (bfwj/)
Posted by: JML at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (M0t1A)
Posted by: Elric the Blade at November 19, 2025 05:37 PM (SUmKb)
---------------
Tater "Sex-Machine" Stelter?
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (hxV5/)
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (krQz2)
Posted by: Case at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (5Je/N)
Posted by: NaughtyPine at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (Qw8da)
That's the reason it stinks worse than the Bamboo.
Which makes it an even greater metaphor.
Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2025 05:42 PM (rO4EG)
With this resume, I'd question anyone how hired her for anything. You think if she was blowing the people she was interviewing; she also wasn't blowing the editor?
Posted by: El Mariachi - Attorney at Law at November 19, 2025 05:40 PM (C3IAS)
You know that's how she got all jobs.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at November 19, 2025 05:42 PM (dK+Kv)
Posted by: El Mariachi - Attorney at Law at November 19, 2025 05:40 PM (C3IAS)
---
Um, you don't know many middle aged dudes. She'd be real popular.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:42 PM (ZOv7s)
Posted by: eleven at November 19, 2025 05:42 PM (aTgV0)
Whatever
Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2025 05:43 PM (49/Bh)
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at November 19, 2025 05:43 PM (jzcHR)
Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2025 05:39 PM (49/Bh)
=====
Especially considering what she looks like. She's not ugly, but there are way, way better looking women out there.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 19, 2025 05:43 PM (DRSnL)
Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2025 05:39 PM (49/Bh)
Remember, it's Keith Olbermann she had to have sex with.
I imagine her asking price would have been somewhat lower for, say, Chris Hemsworth or Jason Momoa.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:43 PM (IG3/x)
Women that follow God's intended natural course of being a woman and get married and have a family are 1000% Happier and NOT REPRESSED BY MALE DOMINANCE OR WHAT EVER ......
YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW FEMI-NAZIsssssss
Posted by: Jackson at November 19, 2025 05:43 PM (J9q9v)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (xcxpd)
---
There's nothing about penetration in the combat rules, just that any fire damaged can't be soaked. Plus BOOM.
Very cinematic.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:44 PM (ZOv7s)
Posted by: Olivia Nuzzi at November 19, 2025 05:44 PM (3arSl)
Posted by: eleven at November 19, 2025 05:44 PM (aTgV0)
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 05:44 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: Duncanthrax
=======
If you gotta go big bore revolver for concealed carry--Charter Arms Bulldog in 44 Special is the long time champ of affordability and concealability. Not the most pleasant recoil but doable.
Otherwise, Plain ole +P 38 Special snubbie revolvers with Gold Dot's Short Barrel ammo are a good call. Ruger, S&W, Kimber, Taurus all play in that field and if you can stand it, a 3 inch barrel versus the 1 7/8 or 2.5 barrel lengths gives a bit more length for sights and more umph for the round.
Don't recommend 9mm in snubbies as you can get bullet jump which is a major malfunction tying up the revolver. There is a reason that revolver ammo is roll crimped instead of tapered.
Posted by: whig at November 19, 2025 05:44 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: Skip at November 19, 2025 05:45 PM (+qU29)
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 05:38 PM (hxV5/)
Sort of a “Famous Blue Raincoat/Your Scarf it was Apricot” sort of thing?
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:39 PM (PCK5/)
----------------
Never quite closed for business.
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 05:45 PM (hxV5/)
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:45 PM (ZOv7s)
Posted by: eleven at November 19, 2025 05:44 PM (aTgV0)
----------
Many parts are edible.
Posted by: zombie Euell Gibbons at November 19, 2025 05:45 PM (jzcHR)
Whatever
Posted by: Lizzy"
Sounds like something a wad would be familiar with.
Posted by: eleven at November 19, 2025 05:46 PM (aTgV0)
She’s adventurous!! Yodel-a-eee-hoo!
Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2025 05:46 PM (49/Bh)
Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at November 19, 2025 05:46 PM (w6EFb)
Its only drawback is that it's not particularly easy to conceal.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:46 PM (IG3/x)
Man, who sticks finger in Lesbo Pussy gets Stinky Finger and STD on finger...
Posted by: Confusoius at November 19, 2025 05:46 PM (J9q9v)
Charlotte Teacher Says Only Four Students Showed Up for Homeroom During ICE Operations
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Why Do the Heathen Rage? at November 19, 2025 05:46 PM (L/fGl)
Posted by: eleven at November 19, 2025 05:44 PM (aTgV0)
438
---
"As does Olivia" -- Keef Olberdouche
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:47 PM (krQz2)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards
=======
Haven't seen either cartridge outside of gunshows in a long time. Pat's Reloading used to have milsurp bullet pulls which might have had these at one time.
Posted by: whig at November 19, 2025 05:47 PM (WDjG6)
She’s adventurous!! Yodel-a-eee-hoo!
Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2025 05:46 PM (49/Bh)
-----------
Valderee, valdera.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at November 19, 2025 05:47 PM (jzcHR)
Posted by: whig at November 19, 2025 05:44 PM (WDjG6)
---
That was my first carry gun, 3" barrel, had to carry it cross draw, Bladerunner style.
It was cheap, but the ammo wasn't, so I eventually got a Taurus 85. Much handier.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:47 PM (ZOv7s)
Posted by: tubal at November 19, 2025 05:47 PM (PCK5/)
Posted by: illiniwek at November 19, 2025 05:48 PM (vbXSk)
440 I wouldn't be able to pick Olivia out in a line up
Posted by: Skip at November 19, 2025 05:45 PM (+qU29)
______________________________________
It takes practice.
Sincerely,
Lily Phillips
Posted by: Lily Phillips at November 19, 2025 05:48 PM (dIske)
Posted by: eleven at November 19, 2025 05:44 PM (aTgV0)
--------------------
Including torture.
/Get it, Ryan?
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 19, 2025 05:48 PM (hxV5/)
Posted by: eleven at November 19, 2025 05:49 PM (aTgV0)
Posted by: illiniwek at November 19, 2025 05:48 PM (vbXSk)
---
Just some poor cuck who though he was in a romance.
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:49 PM (krQz2)
Oh and Napalm too
Posted by: Skip at November 19, 2025 05:49 PM (+qU29)
It's a Minotaur away from being a Best Seller.
Posted by: garrett at November 19, 2025 05:49 PM (rO4EG)
Posted by: Olivia Nuzzi at November 19, 2025 05:44 PM (3arSl)
And she's been around the block *consults notes* well, she IS the block.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 19, 2025 05:50 PM (zZu0s)
—
Pretty easy for ice to figure out where the illegals live with this data.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at November 19, 2025 05:50 PM (/AUU2)
Posted by: illiniwek at November 19, 2025 05:48 PM (vbXSk)
---
Desperate exploitative sex, coupled with duplicity. Sordid and pathetic.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:50 PM (ZOv7s)
Men are rapey— yet these THOTs happily work the casting couch and seduce their interview subjects.
What
The
#
???
Posted by: Lizzy at November 19, 2025 05:50 PM (49/Bh)
Posted by: imp at November 19, 2025 05:50 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: Elric the Blade at November 19, 2025 05:37 PM (SUmKb)
====
*shifty eyes*
Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 19, 2025 05:50 PM (A0sqA)
Goes right to the roots, and doesn't fuck up surrounding plants nearly as much as indiscriminate spraying.
It would be time-consuming for a large infestation, I suppose.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at November 19, 2025 05:50 PM (IG3/x)
Posted by: Case at November 19, 2025 05:50 PM (5Je/N)
Posted by: Skip at November 19, 2025 05:50 PM (+qU29)
Posted by: banana Dream at November 19, 2025 05:51 PM (3uBP9)
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:49 PM (krQz2)
----
That's the most pathetic part. Every guy has been jilted or had a bad relationship, but to try to wax lyrical about being two-timed is awful. It's not honest, its emasculating.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at November 19, 2025 05:51 PM (ZOv7s)
Those were the days my friend.
Posted by: eleven at November 19, 2025 05:52 PM (aTgV0)
Its only drawback is that it's not particularly easy to conceal.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia
======
Alaska has big ass bears plus substance abusing human critters wearing heavy clothes so 45 ACP is a minimum up there.
But never liked the 45 ACP much in 3.5 barrels or shorter. Unpleasant to shoot and mediocre results--9mm is better in that size barrel and pistol for penetration and expandability plus less recoil.
9mm is a very efficient cartridge but it gains minimally from longer barrels.
Posted by: whig at November 19, 2025 05:52 PM (WDjG6)
Were a thousand yellow Charlotte school buses seen headed for the border? I'll help pay for gas.
Posted by: t-bird at November 19, 2025 05:52 PM (3arSl)
Posted by: Axeman at November 19, 2025 05:41 PM (krQz2)
Something you wear to hike up Mt. Palomar?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 19, 2025 05:55 PM (npFr7)
Posted by: the way I see it at November 19, 2025 06:16 PM (KDPiq)
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George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
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Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry
NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
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All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
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Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
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Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
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Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
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Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
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Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
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A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)