Daily Tech News 14 May 2025

Top Story

The Kosmos 482 space probe has landed safely - sort of - in the Indian Ocean. (Space)

Safe for everyone else, anyway.

The probe was supposed to go to Venus, more than 50 years ago, but got slightly lost.

(Oops, already covered by the ONT. I only read that after writing this post.)

Tech News

It's 2025. Why are banks still getting authentication so wrong? (Jamal Habash)

Because they're banks. Something that is bad and barely works but has known risks is preferable to something that is good and works well but has unknown risks.
There's some sort of kerfuffle between Google and Nextcloud over app permissions. (The Register)

Google has denied the Android Nextcloud app the permission to even ask for permission to access any file on your device to sync with your Nextcloud server. (Nextcloud lets you run your own little cloud storage service - and other services as well - on your own hardware under your control.)

Google only allows permission to access media files. But isn't that largely the point of managing files on an Android device? They're great for accessing content and awful for anything else.
House Republicans have tried to jam a ban on state-level AI regulations into the budget reconciliation bill. (404 Media)

Okay. Works for me.
The universe is now expected to decay in 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 years, much less than was previously calculated. (Phys.org)

Make sure you have clean underwear.
Curious variants of Intel's B580 graphics card have been spotted in shipping manifests, including a model with dual GPU chips and 48GB of total VRAM. (Hot Hardware)

These might be announced soon, but are not expected to actually be available for some time, if at all.

Musical Interlude

Disclaimer: Beep boop.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 04:30 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Mornin' Pixy and Horde.

I'll let the others in the ONT know.

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at May 14, 2025 04:30 AM (O7YUW)

2 Thank you, Pixy!

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 14, 2025 04:30 AM (a1415)

3 mornin' y'all

Posted by: Ciampino - no heparin - bad bad at May 14, 2025 04:31 AM (sPQoU)

4 Ciampino: Let me just echo what I said in the ONT: Glad you're still with us.

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at May 14, 2025 04:33 AM (O7YUW)

5 w00t

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 04:33 AM (CQE5S)

6 Grumpy, very appreciated, thank you.
Bailey, the cat that did the damage, is back next to me, on my left, so we have gone full circle.

Posted by: Ciampino - I still love Bailey at May 14, 2025 04:36 AM (sPQoU)

7 Morning, 'rons and 'ronettes.

47 and dark here at Stately Poppins Manor, with a high in the low 70s predicted.

I am very, very tired and have, as usual, about 3+ hours' worth of work ahead of me. I will be glad when the adrenaline kicks in and I feel a bit more awake.

Will see you all in a later thread.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing (aka Eloquent Depression) at May 14, 2025 04:38 AM (Dg2sF)

8 It's 2025. Why are banks still getting authentication so wrong? (Jamal Habash)

Because they're banks. Something that is bad and barely works but has known risks is preferable to something that is good and works well but has unknown risks.

--

Imma need your phone number to sell, too, okay? Thanks.

Posted by: Boron Cobbie - You're pretty when you dress feminine. Men like to see ladies dressed up. at May 14, 2025 04:42 AM (i3fPW)

9 BOING!

11:45AM. Tired.

Biden's Dog and too much shopping.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 14, 2025 04:45 AM (6UfSb)

10 That article about banks getting authentication so wrong ends with: "And don’t even get me started on logging into accounts at the Canada Revenue Agency."

Yup. Why can I provide the public half of an SSH key to an authorized_keys2 file in multiple machines and interfaces, but I can't do so with services like banks?

Why can't I set up TOTP based 2FA with a shared key that I specifically set? I have a dedicated machine for that.

And no, I'm not installing your stupid banking app on my phone. I consider my phone to be an insecure device. I'm not letting the finances anywhere near that thing!

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at May 14, 2025 04:47 AM (O7YUW)

11 Big band. Glenn Miller. And in color!

What's not to like?!

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 14, 2025 04:50 AM (6UfSb)

12 >>>Make sure you have clean underwear.

uh-oh

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 04:52 AM (CQE5S)

13 "House Republicans have tried to jam a ban on state-level AI regulations into the budget reconciliation bill."

The opening sentence of the article includes this passage, "the Budget Reconciliation bill that will immiserate the lives of millions of Americans." I've never seen immiserate used in any other article that remotely touches on a technical subject. I think the author is biased in a David Hogg type of way.

Word Power. Immiserate. This word is used by Communists who work for websites that write about technical subjects and want to sound super intellectual when they're basically dumb as a box of rocks and should be banished to working on the Windows Start Menu redesign.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 14, 2025 04:55 AM (amnH6)

14 I think phones are actually pretty secure.
It's the servers that are hacked.

Posted by: Accomack at May 14, 2025 04:57 AM (YVT+g)

15 Make sure you have clean underwear.

Semper ubi sub ubi

Posted by: Miklosius Caroliniensis at May 14, 2025 04:57 AM (t6ibK)

16 >>>Glenn Miller, "In the Mood"

Tons o' fun!

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 04:57 AM (CQE5S)

17 Miklos, you need to bring that willowed comment forward. *snrks*

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at May 14, 2025 04:58 AM (O7YUW)

18 Ciampino, I'm so glad to see that you're still upright. Your daughter 's message about your recent situation had us greatly concerned.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 14, 2025 04:59 AM (amnH6)

19 Big band. Glenn Miller. And in color!

What's not to like?!
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs

Everyone is so extraordinarily clean shaven!

Even the women

Posted by: Transklos at May 14, 2025 05:00 AM (t6ibK)

20 Nice Glenn Miller Thanks, Pixy. It was good of Miller to travel around to perform for troops to boost their morale. Sorry that he died too young. Very talented man.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 14, 2025 05:00 AM (42Vb+)

21 Mornin'

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 14, 2025 05:01 AM (sAmhv)

22
Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant

I am so totally busted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knmVy9W37gI

Posted by: Miklos may or may not still have a job at May 14, 2025 05:02 AM (t6ibK)

23 Yes, good to see you, Ciampino and that you're out of the hospital .

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 14, 2025 05:02 AM (PJdKB)

24 18 Ciampino, I'm so glad to see that you're still upright. Your daughter 's message about your recent situation had us greatly concerned.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 14, 2025 04:59 AM (amnH6)
----
Thanks very much, your thoughts and prayers were very heartening. This is twice that I have lost all strength and wanting to collapse - but for very different reasons. WOW!

Posted by: Ciampino - I still love Bailey The Clod at May 14, 2025 05:05 AM (sPQoU)

25 It's a green-tea morning--post-covfefe. Yum.

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:10 AM (CQE5S)

26 Devotional on 2nd Kings 19:16-20

"Bring it to God."

https://tinyurl.com/ukxps4mc

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 14, 2025 05:11 AM (42Vb+)

27 Ciampino - I still love Bailey The Clod

The Clod or Clot Cat?

Posted by: Miklos had his own DVT at May 14, 2025 05:11 AM (t6ibK)

28 Sing, Sing, Sing
Louis Prima, Composer, 1935
Benny Goodman Orchestra
https://youtu.be/r2S1I_ien6A

Mr. Goodman was kind of the SRV for the clarinet. Plus he a great arranger, composer, and band leader. Gene Krupa is on drums...so great.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 14, 2025 05:11 AM (amnH6)

29
https://nitter.net/magills_ is on fire:

@magills_
Buddy, we will just put them at an Eagles game and they’ll blend right in

@ZizinjaAbelungu
22h [with video!]
Dear Americans
This is what you will be dealing with now on a daily basis with the White Afrikaners.
They are now your problem, goodluck!!!

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:13 AM (CQE5S)

30 G'morning FenelonSpoke!

Replying to your comment in yesterday's tech therad:

{ I think your neurons are fine.

Please note, this is not a pick up line. 😉 }

Thanks Fen, though before coffee (first thing in the morning) those neurons stumble around making pre-coffee noises a lot, and thus so do I.

As to the pick-up line: I'm long off the market anyway (and probably well past my "best before" date too!) The missus and I just celebrated our 35th anniversary.

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at May 14, 2025 05:14 AM (O7YUW)

31 heh

Magills
@magills_
14h
Help me prove all of today’s Joe haters wrong. Donate to Draft Biden 2028 NOW!!

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:15 AM (CQE5S)

32 I think phones are actually pretty secure.
It's the servers that are hacked.
Posted by: Accomack

-

I lean towards it being like Google figuring out a way to get billions seconds (if not more) of free labor from billions of people in order to train AI.

They couldn't care less about security and it has little to do with it, and it accomplishes very little. But it's an excuse to collect and constantly verify up to the minute customer data they can sell.

Posted by: Boron Cobbie - Men are the romantic sex that will pursue beauty regardless of status or income at May 14, 2025 05:15 AM (sRoyo)

33 They were clearly singing "Kill the Boerns", Sir.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 14, 2025 05:15 AM (yvnLa)

34 @27/Miklos: "The Clod or Clot Cat?"

Given that he lost 5 units of blood, I'm going to say "the UNclot cat."

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at May 14, 2025 05:15 AM (O7YUW)

35
Magills
@magills_
May 12
Afrikaaners quickly photoshopping MS13 onto their knuckles so the libs give them free housing and access to their daughters

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:16 AM (CQE5S)

36 Google has denied the Android Nextcloud app the permission to even ask for permission to access any file on your device

Sounds like linux. ... mostly because I suck at linux... * kicks rocks.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 14, 2025 05:17 AM (mlg/3)

37 Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at May 14, 2025 05:14 AM (O7YUW)

Well, a lot of us are not at our best before coffee. Anyway, the pick up line was my kidding. I'm a long Time happily married person as well. I just have an affection for nice and interesting school bus drivers 😊

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 14, 2025 05:18 AM (UvyIK)

38 I'll laugh if TdA and the like start sending their people in as whole fake families waving American flags and wearing a gallon and a half of foundation.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 14, 2025 05:18 AM (yvnLa)

39
Magills retweeted
jimtreacher.substack.com
@jtLOL
May 11
Replying to @magills_
"Smile Bigger"

Magills
@magills_
May 11
I wonder what the Weird Al parody of the new Kanye song will be about

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:18 AM (CQE5S)

40 Good morning! Well, it's a balmy 81 on the patio here in Cowtown headed for triple digits. Gonna need ice cream and a nap this afternoon.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at May 14, 2025 05:19 AM (3Ope8)

41 Boer Babes apply NOW

Posted by: Mail Order Brides by Miklos, se habla Afrikaans at May 14, 2025 05:19 AM (t6ibK)

42
Magills
@magills_
May 9
Somebody complained about the video quality of this and please understand I make memes using a 5 year old phone and do not care about anything I post

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:21 AM (CQE5S)

43
Magills
@magills_
May 8
I bet mom had a favorite.

Magills
@magills_
May 8
Imagine being some normal dude in the Midwest and your brother is the pope. Wild.

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:22 AM (CQE5S)

44 and do not care about anything I post
Posted by: m

Brother!

Posted by: The Artist formerly known as Imklos at May 14, 2025 05:22 AM (t6ibK)

45 We are so blessed.

Tim Walz is coming to town.

https://tinyurl.com/yw5aemue

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 14, 2025 05:24 AM (a1415)

46 Jumpin' at the Woodside
Benny Goodman Orchestra
https://youtu.be/cmZNLyJViuE

Mission to Moscow
Benny Goodman Orchestra
https://youtu.be/WuFvsyAApog

America in sound. It also put European music on its ass.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 14, 2025 05:24 AM (amnH6)

47 Tim Walz is coming to town.

https://tinyurl.com/yw5aemue
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice

You Walz right in
You Walz right out

You Walz right in
And shake it all about

Posted by: Bandleader Miklos at May 14, 2025 05:25 AM (t6ibK)

48 The last sentence is the key sentence.

https://tinyurl.com/ycx742tj

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 14, 2025 05:26 AM (a1415)

49 Imagine being some normal dude in the Midwest and your brother is the pope.

Imagine mom comparing you and him in casual conversation.

Posted by: NR Pax at May 14, 2025 05:26 AM (jjoN6)

50 The Artist formerly known as ~~Imklos~~ t6ibK

You can thank me for fixing this for you by regaling us with tales of lusty Hungarian women.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 14, 2025 05:28 AM (amnH6)

51 For anyone who hadn't seen it, the government outright and openly confirmed their persecution. In writing.

Link goes to X

https://tinyurl.com/rkhe3rw

Posted by: Boron Cobbie - Men are the romantic sex that will pursue beauty regardless of status or income at May 14, 2025 05:28 AM (oHo5e)

52 Imagine being some normal dude in the Midwest and your brother is the pope.

Imagine mom comparing you and him in casual conversation.
Posted by: NR Pax

The one brother could have rubbed it by choosing the name Favoritus

Posted by: Miklos, if Pope, would probably not do that at May 14, 2025 05:30 AM (t6ibK)

53 You can thank me for fixing this for you by regaling us with tales of lusty Hungarian women.
Posted by: Alteria Pilgram

You can have lusty, you can have busty, and they won't call you late for dinner.

Posted by: Raymond J. Johnsonklos at May 14, 2025 05:33 AM (t6ibK)

54 The one brother could have rubbed it by choosing the name Favoritus Posted by: Miklos

If tradition holds true, in the style of Billy Carter, I expect the brother to open a strip club and name it Leo's Place.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 14, 2025 05:34 AM (amnH6)

55 Imagine being some normal dude in the Midwest and your brother is the pope.

That brother knew he would be a priest, but it was a female kindergarten classmate that said he would be the pope.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 14, 2025 05:35 AM (Ior/p)

56 A pleasant Woden's Day evening to the late toilers -- I mean, I hope you *had* a good Woden's Day -- and a happy morning to you early risers.

So the universe is expected to dissolve in its heat death in less time than previously expected? Well, then, let's get started planning. Don't want to be caught short.

HIgh today of 88, low now of 72 F. Ug-lee.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 14, 2025 05:35 AM (omVj0)

57 If tradition holds true, in the style of Billy Carter, I expect the brother to open a strip club and name it Leo's Place.
Posted by: Alteria Pilgram

I think I may have actually had an underaged Billy Beer

Posted by: Miklos may have exceeded the Official 29 but will probably lie at May 14, 2025 05:36 AM (t6ibK)

58 Time for the morning walk.

BBIAB

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 14, 2025 05:36 AM (a1415)

59 55 Imagine being some normal dude in the Midwest and your brother is the pope.

---

That brother knew he would be a priest, but it was a female kindergarten classmate that said he would be the pope.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 14, 2025 05:35 AM (Ior/p)

And in the neighborhood, a parent from each of two different families said he would be pope when he was, like, six or something, according to one of his brothers.

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:37 AM (CQE5S)

60 HIgh today of 88, low now of 72 F. Ug-lee.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere

I hope your retirement and relocation plans include a budget for winter clothes.

Posted by: Miklos had Official nose sweat staring about two weeks ago at May 14, 2025 05:38 AM (t6ibK)

61 Little Dagny La Siberienne is off to the vet today for a checkup, maybe some treatment for her fleas. We got rid of a vast amount of them with the topical treatment and then by flea-bombing my place. She's obviously feeling better, though, and is spending more time with me in the morning and with both of us in the evening.

Fortunately she is very good about going into her carrier, as is her big "brother" Stirling the Black. A trip to the shop is not the great battle it was with Chekov, Wolf, or most of the other cats I've lived with.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 14, 2025 05:38 AM (omVj0)

62 HIgh today of 88, low now of 72 F. Ug-lee.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere

I hope your retirement and relocation plans include a budget for winter clothes.
Posted by: Miklos had Official nose sweat staring about two weeks ago at May 14, 2025

***
Miklos, I already have more winter clothes, jackets, coats, and sweaters than 99% of the natives here. Like the guy in the song, I want to go "where the weather suits my clothes."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 14, 2025 05:40 AM (omVj0)

63 nice summary of the presstitutes:

Charles C. W. Cooke
@charlescwcooke
12h
Don't overthink it. They knew about Biden, just as we knew about Biden, and a supermajority of Americans knew about Biden. They lied about it, because they didn't want Trump to win. That's the story, the rest is noise.

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:40 AM (CQE5S)

64 Birdbath status?

Posted by: Just Wondering at May 14, 2025 05:41 AM (dg+HA)

65 45 We are so blessed.

Tim Walz is coming to town.

https://tinyurl.com/yw5aemue
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice

I'm now humming 'Santa Claus is coming to town'.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 14, 2025 05:42 AM (sAmhv)

66 Ug-lee.

I remember this place being generally referred to as "Uglys".

https://uglesichs.com/

Posted by: Miklos had a po-boy or three there at May 14, 2025 05:42 AM (t6ibK)

67 Welcome back, Ciampino! Glad to see you're back among us. Yet another adventure (one you would cheerfully have skipped, I'm sure) in a life full of them, from Africa to now.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 14, 2025 05:44 AM (omVj0)

68 I keep hoping the Saudis swipe Trump's clothes dress him up like an Arab. There is precedent for this.

https://youtu.be/-mvMMJ7eiXE

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 14, 2025 05:44 AM (amnH6)

69 Smart dog helps his canine friend who was having a seizure:

https://tinyurl.com/nhb37d99

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 14, 2025 05:44 AM (UvyIK)

70 SpaceX - Falcon 9 - Starlink 6-67
SLC-40 - Cape Canaveral SFS - Space Affairs Live
Launch Date: May 14, 2025
Launch Time: 11:43 a.m. EDT, 1543 UTC, 17:43 CEST

https://www.youtube.com/live/d9NDnJee0MI

Posted by: Ciampino - Space waits for No Man at May 14, 2025 05:44 AM (sPQoU)

71 45 We are so blessed.
Tim Walz is coming to town.
https://tinyurl.com/yw5aemue
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice

hahahahahaha

The South Carolina Democratic Party said Tuesday that Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz will be the speaker for its convention on May 31 at the South Carolina State Fairgrounds in Columbia.

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:45 AM (CQE5S)

72 I remember this place being generally referred to as "Uglys".

https://uglesichs.com/
Posted by: Miklos had a po-boy or three there at May 14, 2025

***
I've never been there, though I recall seeing it from the Freret St. bus long ago. That area is not one I'd want to be in after dark nowadays. But then there aren't very many here where I would want to roam after the sun goes down, and a lot I avoid before dark too.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 14, 2025 05:46 AM (omVj0)

73 Maybe the brother is the favorite son because the mama wants grandbabies....

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 14, 2025 05:47 AM (yvnLa)

74 I'm wanting PDT to say, well, the Saudis weren't the people who paid Hunter Biden for access to his dad.

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:47 AM (CQE5S)

75 I already have more winter clothes, jackets, coats, and sweaters than 99% of the natives here. Like the guy in the song, I want to go "where the weather suits my clothes."
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius

Proper.

I left Nawlins because the heat melted my moustache wax.

Posted by: and my monocles fogged up when I stepped outside at May 14, 2025 05:48 AM (t6ibK)

76 Something like this should be Tim Walz theme music.

https://youtu.be/UEnldBBXmtY

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at May 14, 2025 05:49 AM (amnH6)

77 And in the neighborhood, a parent from each of two different families said he would be pope when he was, like, six or something, according to one of his brothers.
Posted by: m

Yeah. It's onne thing to say that someone is going to be a priest, but it's pretty specific to say they're going to be the pope. Especially at six years old. That's like saying, yeah Tommy's gonna work for Coca-Cola when he grows up versus yeah Tommy is gonna be the CEO of Coca-Cola when he grows up. That's pretty specific.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 14, 2025 05:50 AM (Ior/p)

78 It's basically diplomacy 101 to tell a host nation "those guys suck, but you're pretty awesome", regardless of facts on the ground.

And yet it's such a dramatic sea change to see a president doing that. Sure, they might not be all that awesome, but man, those guys really do suck.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 14, 2025 05:51 AM (yvnLa)

79 Thanks Wolfus. I've been following your plans for migration.

Posted by: Ciampino - Space waits for Noman at May 14, 2025 05:51 AM (sPQoU)

80 The South Carolina Democratic Party said Tuesday that Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz will be the speaker for its convention on May 31 at the South Carolina State Fairgrounds in Columbia.
Posted by: m

Hmmm

I had booked that place for my Lawrence Welk Tribute Orchestra for the same day

Posted by: Miklos assumes some misunderstanding at May 14, 2025 05:52 AM (t6ibK)

81 Having second cup of black juice. A dark roast blend called 'Midnight" from Aldi; strong without overdoing, not bitter, and reasonably priced for the (now usual) 12 oz. bag. A brick of Cafe Bustelo is about the same price, but you only get 8 oz. there.

I really need to work out today if I'm to crank out four sessions this week. At least the heat index is only the same as the temp.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 14, 2025 05:53 AM (omVj0)

82 And in the neighborhood, a parent from each of two different families said he would be pope when he was, like, six or something, according to one of his brothers.
Posted by: m

Fine.

Cool.

Totes Copascetic.

Posted by: the Dalai Llama at May 14, 2025 05:54 AM (t6ibK)

83 a bazillion of these stories out there:

"He will always be Rob," Prevost said. "If we do get over there and do get to meet him, I'm still going to treat him like my little brother. Give him a hug, say 'Rob, you idiot, what have you done?' Take his hat off and give him a nuggie."

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 05:55 AM (CQE5S)

84 "He will always be Rob," Prevost said. "If we do get over there and do get to meet him, I'm still going to treat him like my little brother. Give him a hug, say 'Rob, you idiot, what have you done?' Take his hat off and give him a nuggie."
Posted by: m

*Sits on Pope's head, farts*

Posted by: the Pope's Older Brother at May 14, 2025 05:57 AM (t6ibK)

85
I had booked that place for my Lawrence Welk Tribute Orchestra for the same day
Posted by: Miklos assumes some misunderstanding at May 14, 2025 05:52 AM (t6ibK)

*cranks up bubble machine*

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at May 14, 2025 05:57 AM (LNlIz)

86 Can you imagine having the Pope as your wingman on a night out in Rome?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 14, 2025 05:57 AM (yvnLa)

87 Thanks Wolfus. I've been following your plans for migration.
Posted by: Ciampino - Space waits for Noman at May 14, 2025

***
Not much longer now. I'm waiting to get my finances all straight, and while I hate the idea of a road trip in June, I hate worse the idea of sitting out another hurricane season. With horror I await the endless wailing from the media about "Katrina -- Twenty Years Later!" (Spoiler: The place has not changed in all that time, except to get more expensive and more rotten.)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 14, 2025 05:58 AM (omVj0)

88 "He will always be Rob," Prevost said. "If we do get over there and do get to meet him, I'm still going to treat him like my little brother. Give him a hug, say 'Rob, you idiot, what have you done?' Take his hat off and give him a nuggie."
Posted by: m

*Sits on Pope's head, farts*
Posted by: the Pope's Older Brother

*Grabs the Pope's wrist, "stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself " MOM!!!!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 14, 2025 06:06 AM (Ior/p)

89 Morning, 'rons and 'ettes.

Posted by: olddog in mo at May 14, 2025 06:07 AM (hoCmQ)

90
"We dinno nuffin 'bout Cotton-headed Joe!"

-- liars, damn liars (so say the statistics)

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:07 AM (GufPK)

91 88 "He will always be Rob," Prevost said. "If we do get over there and do get to meet him, I'm still going to treat him like my little brother. Give him a hug, say 'Rob, you idiot, what have you done?' Take his hat off and give him a nuggie."
Posted by: m

*Grabs the Pope's wrist, "stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself " MOM!!!!
Posted by: rickb223 at May 14, 2025 06:06 AM (Ior/p)

hahahahaha

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 06:09 AM (CQE5S)

92 Can y'all hold down the racket? Some of us are trying to sleep.

Posted by: muldoon at May 14, 2025 06:09 AM (HOX+I)

93
"He will always be Rob," Prevost said. "If we do get over there and do get to meet him, I'm still going to treat him like my little brother. Give him a hug, say 'Rob, you idiot, what have you done?' Take his hat off and give him a nuggie."
Posted by: m

*Sits on Pope's head, farts*
Posted by: the Pope's Older Brother

*Grabs the Pope's wrist, "stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself " MOM!!!!
Posted by: rickb223

"Mom always liked me best!" * sticks out tongue *

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:10 AM (GufPK)

94 Mom always liked you best.

Posted by: The Pope's brother at May 14, 2025 06:12 AM (dg+HA)

95 93 "Mom always liked me best!" * sticks out tongue *
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:10 AM (GufPK)

94 Mom always liked you best.
Posted by: The Pope's brother at May 14, 2025 06:12 AM (dg+HA)

; )

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 06:13 AM (CQE5S)

96 "I keep hoping the Saudis swipe Trump's clothes dress him up like an Arab. There is precedent for this."

Donald of Arabia?

mornin yall

Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 06:13 AM (vFG9F)

97
The South Carolina Democratic Party said Tuesday that Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz will be the speaker for its convention on May 31 at the South Carolina State Fairgrounds in Columbia.
Posted by: m

Ol' Timcon gonna show 'em how to "do a proper minstrel show" ?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:14 AM (xG4kz)

98 The Pope made a joke:

THEY SAY WHEN THEY CLAP AT THE BEGINNING, IT DOESN'T MATTER MUCH.
IF YOU'RE STILL AWAKE AT THE END AND YOU STILL WANT TO APPLAUD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 06:15 AM (CQE5S)

99
; )
Posted by: m

Too early in the morning with foggy headed crossed signals ...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:17 AM (xG4kz)

100 100

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 06:17 AM (CQE5S)

101 I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you.

Posted by: The Pope's brother in the back seat at May 14, 2025 06:19 AM (dg+HA)

102 Add Sean Peen to the list with Kathy Griffin, Janene Whatsernam and George Looney. They all got the TRUMP!!! curse bad.

Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 06:19 AM (vFG9F)

103 I keep hoping the Saudis swipe Trump's clothes dress him up like an Arab.

We'd be treated to an entire day of wailing that "this isn't a good look" here in the comments.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 14, 2025 06:19 AM (ExV1e)

104 "Hey Pope- pull my finger."

Posted by: Don Black at May 14, 2025 06:19 AM (AOsQT)

105 The ANC declaring that they are not targeting the whites is like Nazis declaring the treatment of the Jews "is for their own protection."

Posted by: no one of any consequence at May 14, 2025 06:20 AM (ZmEVT)

106 "Mom! He's looking at me!"

Posted by: m at May 14, 2025 06:20 AM (CQE5S)

107 I like Rob. You can rearrange the letters to Bro.

Posted by: Case at May 14, 2025 06:21 AM (BXeMA)

108 The Pope and his brother walk into a bar...

Posted by: Stop me if you've heard it at May 14, 2025 06:21 AM (dg+HA)

109
The Pope made a joke:

THEY SAY WHEN THEY CLAP AT THE BEGINNING, IT DOESN'T MATTER MUCH.
IF YOU'RE STILL AWAKE AT THE END AND YOU STILL WANT TO APPLAUD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Posted by: m

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THERE ARE NO OPEN MIKE NIGHTS IN VATICAN CITY BECAUSE THERE ARE NO COMEDY CLUBS IN VATICAN CITY AND EVEN THOUGH HE IS POPE, HE HIMSELF CANNOT REQUEST AN AUDIENCE

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at May 14, 2025 06:22 AM (xG4kz)

110 With horror I await the endless wailing from the media about "Katrina -- Twenty Years Later!" (Spoiler: The place has not changed in all that time, except to get more expensive and more rotten.)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere

Why wait? Sit in a canoe on a dry street pretend to paddle...

Posted by: Adriane the Too Much Trivia Not Enough Winning Lottery Tickets Critic . . . at May 14, 2025 06:22 AM (tcomi)

111
Overheated the Caps Lock key on that one!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:24 AM (xG4kz)

112 We'd be treated to an entire day of wailing that "this isn't a good look" here in the comments.

From the same people who would wail "But he didn't dress up like the Saudis! That's a bad look!"

Babylon Bee ran an opinion piece during his first administration called "Trump Is Doing The Right Thing, But He’s Doing It As Trump, Which Means It’s Still Bad." Worth the read.

Posted by: NR Pax at May 14, 2025 06:25 AM (jjoN6)

113 Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

Rejoinder: Bing bong.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at May 14, 2025 06:26 AM (6YdsJ)

114
With horror I await the endless wailing from the media about "Katrina -- Twenty Years Later!" (Spoiler: The place has not changed in all that time, except to get more expensive and more rotten.)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere

Is Ray "Gimme a Noogie" Nagin gonna deliver a speech on the horror (the horror!)

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:26 AM (xG4kz)

115 Ol' Timcon gonna show 'em how to "do a proper minstrel show" ?
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:14 AM (xG4kz)
-----------
I look forward to see him dancing a cakewalk while pulling watermelon seeds out of his ears.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at May 14, 2025 06:28 AM (6YdsJ)

116 Good morning everyone, thx Pixy.
Ciampino glad to see you are recovering

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 14, 2025 06:32 AM (2ZThz)

117 Good morning!

Let's smile & be happy & strike fear in the hearts of killjoy leftists everywhere.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:32 AM (u82oZ)

118
Captain Obvious

I really enjoy your "Laird o' the Sea" title.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:32 AM (xG4kz)

119 Pixy Misa

Great music choice today. I liked the dancing as well.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:32 AM (u82oZ)

120 I really enjoy your "Laird o' the Sea" title.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:32 AM (xG4kz)
-----------
I adopted it after becoming the "owner" of a square foot of land on Islay due to a Laphroaig promotion.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at May 14, 2025 06:34 AM (6YdsJ)

121 Village Idiot's Apprentice

Top o ta mornin to ya, gov'nor.

The heat of the summer starts today. Over 90 ℉ high. Well, low humidity.

Given our cold winter, I'll take it.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:38 AM (u82oZ)

122 "I adopted it after becoming the "owner" of a square foot of land on Islay due to a Laphroaig promotion.
Posted by: Captain Obvious"

I had wondered about that, as I do with other nics here. A weekend thread on how our nics came about would be fun.

Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 06:38 AM (vFG9F)

123
The Kosmos 482 space probe has landed safely - sort of - in the Indian Ocean. (Space)

I await the breathless announcements from those esteemed science-y mavens, Bill Nye and Neil the Grass-fed Chicken Tenders about how "Previous theories were wrong -- Soviet probe reported that there were literal oceans of water on Venus' surface!"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 14, 2025 06:39 AM (xG4kz)

124 I had wondered about that, as I do with other nics here. A weekend thread on how our nics came about would be fun.
Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 06:38 AM (vFG9F)
-----------
"Captain Obvious" I adopted on the spur of the moment. Were I to change my nic, I might go with "Helmuth, speaking for Boskone."

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at May 14, 2025 06:41 AM (6YdsJ)

125 Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar

Helmuth, speaking for Boskone.

That is a great name for the Chief of Staff of the Deep State.

We need Kimball Kinnison and his Lens.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:43 AM (u82oZ)

126 We need Kimball Kinnison and his Lens.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:43 AM (u82oZ)
-----------
Have you read Randall Garrett's parody, "Backstage Lensman?" It's a hoot.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at May 14, 2025 06:44 AM (6YdsJ)

127 South Africa excited to achieve 100% diversity once it gets rid of all the white people. From "The Babylon Bee":

https://tinyurl.com/7wnp8286

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 14, 2025 06:44 AM (65M7S)

128 And now for the wheat report.

Winter wheat in Kansas is hard hit with wheat streak mosaic virus. The heart of the invasion is in western Kansas, where the most winter wheat is grown.

There is no cure. The treatment is like hoof and mouth disease. Kill the infected wheat. Let none stay behind to hurt the next harvest.

We are a month away from the start of harvest.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:50 AM (u82oZ)

129 Morning peeps. Our local Starbucks employees are on strike. My hate feed has the story, and the comments are amusing. Very little compassion for the rainbow-alphabet people there.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 14, 2025 06:51 AM (Q4IgG)

130 Captain Obvious

No, I haven't. The series is ripe for parody, for sure.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:52 AM (u82oZ)

131 I had wondered about that, as I do with other nics here. A weekend thread on how our nics came about would be fun.
Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 06:38 AM (vFG9F)

I like to think that mine is self-explanatory.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 14, 2025 06:52 AM (ExV1e)

132 I used to have a different nic

I'm Laughing in Texas here.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:53 AM (u82oZ)

133 I'll just leave this here for anyone who is keeping up at home:

"Amazon advertised 1 job to American workers requiring applicants to mail in their resume.

Then used that single ad to file 585 green card applications for foreign workers.

No interviews. No competition. No fairness.

Just a pipeline for outsourcing America...

585 foreign workers hired off one fake job ad while Americans were told to mail resumes into a black hole."

https://tinyurl.com/4umx7ymn

Posted by: Boron Cobbie - Men are the romantic sex that will pursue beauty regardless of status or income at May 14, 2025 06:53 AM (oHo5e)

134 No, I haven't. The series is ripe for parody, for sure.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:52 AM (u82oZ)
----------
Harry Harrison's "Star Smashers of the Galaxy Rangers" is another such, though it doesn't directly parody any single Smith series.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at May 14, 2025 06:53 AM (6YdsJ)

135 The universe is now expected to decay in 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 years, much less than was previously calculated.

But human genetic entropy will render the human race unable to reproduce itself in less than 10,000 years.

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at May 14, 2025 06:54 AM (a4flb)

136 I'm Laughing in Texas here.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:53 AM (u82oZ)

And here I thought you were in Kansas or some-such.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 14, 2025 06:55 AM (ExV1e)

137 Byeee...

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at May 14, 2025 06:55 AM (6YdsJ)

138 FenelonSpoke

South Africa is getting closer to being a cautionary tale for the ages. Which will be ignored by the Left like all the other data telling them they are wrong.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:56 AM (u82oZ)

139 I used to have a different nic

I remember your old nic. And that your daughter got a foil covered cowboy hat, wrapped by Jewells45, at a TxMoMeet.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:58 AM (u82oZ)

140 South Africa is getting closer to being a cautionary tale for the ages. Which will be ignored by the Left like all the other data telling them they are wrong.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 06:56 AM (u82oZ)

Wasn't Zimbabwe the previous African "cautionary tale for the ages" which was ignored by everyone?

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 14, 2025 06:58 AM (ExV1e)

141 I used to have a different nic

Yes. There are others. To be culturally diverse, there is North Korea and now Great Britain.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 07:00 AM (u82oZ)

142 We don't get no respect.

Posted by: Cautionary tales at May 14, 2025 07:01 AM (dg+HA)

143

*hic*

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at May 14, 2025 07:01 AM (5hfjS)

144 Bah. Can we go one f'n day without a Kardashian or Carville?

Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 07:01 AM (vFG9F)

145 I used to have a different nic too

5 I can think of
but no profile

Posted by: Don Black at May 14, 2025 07:02 AM (AOsQT)

146 Cautionary tales

We know.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 07:03 AM (u82oZ)

147 Hillary Clinton

Amazing. We need to clone that liver, STAT.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 07:04 AM (u82oZ)

148 Yeah Carville's got a new rant on X

Posted by: Don Black at May 14, 2025 07:04 AM (AOsQT)

149 Don Black

Well, he is more rational than Hillary. A low bar, indeed.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 07:06 AM (u82oZ)

150 Carville wants his party to drop the woke vocabulary

I rate this as unlikely

Posted by: Don Black at May 14, 2025 07:09 AM (AOsQT)

151 > Carville wants his party to drop the woke vocabulary
---------
In exchange for.... what? More violent rhetoric?

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 14, 2025 07:10 AM (Q4IgG)

152 South Africa excited to achieve 100% diversity once it gets rid of all the white people.

On a discussion about the recent refugees from there, a liberal type was saying "You know they supported apartheid but that's probably why you conservatives love them so much."

Posted by: NR Pax at May 14, 2025 07:11 AM (jjoN6)

153 The Democrats would rather the entire country fail and millions die than give up power.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 07:11 AM (u82oZ)

154 What's do they do, NaCly? Burn it in place, or harvest and then burn?

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 14, 2025 07:11 AM (/Ghsb)

155 Have a great day, everyone.

Be the torch of America to the great unlearned masses.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 07:12 AM (u82oZ)

156 Windows just tried to brick my computer by requiring me to build a Microsoft account.

Fortunately, I was able to log out and back in (locally), which killed the sequence.

How do I stop THAT from ever happening again?

Posted by: GWB at May 14, 2025 07:12 AM (lPKjm)

157 sock_rat_eez

Save what you can, then plow it under. No fires.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2025 07:13 AM (u82oZ)

158 Police find naked man in Lowe’s display shed with Vaseline and phone.

https://tinyurl.com/pnhcjmuj

Posted by: Ciampino - Vaseline in this day and age? at May 14, 2025 07:13 AM (sPQoU)

159 Only 2 days until Jugfest.

Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 07:13 AM (vFG9F)

160 But human genetic entropy will render the human race unable to reproduce itself in less than 10,000 years.
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at May 14, 2025 06:54 AM (a4flb)

At the rate we're going, it shouldn't take that long. Feiler Faster Thesis.

Posted by: Ordinary American at May 14, 2025 07:15 AM (vsTPo)

161 ...and for those who did nay read it, the ANC said:
"What the instigators of this falsehood seek is not safety, but impunity from transformation. They flee not from persecution, but from justice, equality, and accountability for historic privilege.".
Typical bloodthirsty Marxists.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 14, 2025 07:17 AM (/V7IO)

162 Only 2 days until Jugfest.

Hmm. I guess I'd better get my stomach in shape for all those hamburgers.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing (aka Eloquent Depression) at May 14, 2025 07:18 AM (Dg2sF)

163 152 South Africa excited to achieve 100% diversity once it gets rid of all the white people.

On a discussion about the recent refugees from there, a liberal type was saying "You know they supported apartheid but that's probably why you conservatives love them so much."

Posted by: NR Pax at May 14, 2025 07:11 AM (jjoN6)
----
Liberals also support apartheid in that Conservatives should never hold the reins of power, have rights and prosper.

Posted by: Ciampino - no wonder at May 14, 2025 07:18 AM (sPQoU)

164 But human genetic entropy will render the human race unable to reproduce itself in less than 10,000 years.
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure

Maybe that's why there are no space travel-capable life forms. Genetic entropy eliminates them first.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at May 14, 2025 07:18 AM (KAi1n)

165 "But human genetic entropy will render the human race unable to reproduce itself in less than 10,000 years.
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure"

I plan to have my brain transferred into a android before then.

Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 07:18 AM (vFG9F)

166 Carville wants his party to drop the woke vocabulary
---------
In exchange for.... what? More violent rhetoric?
Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 14, 2025 07:10 AM (Q4IgG)

Presumably different woke vocabulary. Not unlike how they change the name of their political philosophy every so often to fool the rubes. Liberal --> Progressive --> Whatever.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 14, 2025 07:19 AM (ExV1e)

167 Make sure you have clean underwear.
And a towel.

Posted by: GWB at May 14, 2025 07:20 AM (lPKjm)

168 I'm going to take a nap. Later ....

Posted by: Ciampino - no surprise being tired at May 14, 2025 07:20 AM (sPQoU)

169 "Hmm. I guess I'd better get my stomach in shape for all those hamburgers.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing "

It's a big deal. There's going to be jugs and crocks.

Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 07:20 AM (vFG9F)

170 "an" android.

Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 07:21 AM (vFG9F)

171 But human genetic entropy will render the human race unable to reproduce itself in less than 10,000 years.
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure

Wouldn't that theory, coupled with big bang/evolution theory, require that humans, assuming they start breeding again, would just morph seamlessly in several competing descendent species who would compete to see who could produce the most warning labels on common products?

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 14, 2025 07:22 AM (ExV1e)

172 "But human genetic entropy will render the human race unable to reproduce itself in less than 10,000 years."

Wait, I thought we were supposed to evolve into something...fitter...fittest....fitterist.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 14, 2025 07:22 AM (vd6bO)

173 Liberal didn't become progressive. Progressive is to the left of liberal.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at May 14, 2025 07:23 AM (KAi1n)

174 anyone catch the nickname of the anc's national communications manager?
lower left corner

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 14, 2025 07:23 AM (/Ghsb)

175 174 anyone catch the nickname of the anc's national communications manager?
lower left corner
_-_-_
Can't get any clearer than that.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at May 14, 2025 07:25 AM (/V7IO)

176 nood

Posted by: fd at May 14, 2025 07:25 AM (vFG9F)

177 Winter wheat in Kansas is hard hit with wheat streak mosaic virus.

--

Ok, I couldn't help but have a flashback to Oliver Douglas in hysterics over his corn bores.

Posted by: Lady in Black at May 14, 2025 07:26 AM (qBdHI)

178 Jugfest?
Is that like spending all day eating and drinking at Hooters?

Posted by: Most guys at May 14, 2025 07:37 AM (dg+HA)

179 I plan to have my brain transferred into an android before then.

Much better than an iPhone.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 14, 2025 07:55 AM (WPL6O)

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