First-World Problems...

And...the only reason that photo isn't of earlier returns is because I wrote the label on that file folder and it didn't show up well.

I am intellectually confident that nothing bad will come of shredding those papers, but I also have a sneaking suspicion that one day...far in the future...I will need them!

Posted by: CBD at 02:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Happy Sunday!

Posted by: 2009Refugee at December 15, 2024 02:01 PM (8AONa)

2 I'll go get 'em

Posted by: 2009Refugee at December 15, 2024 02:01 PM (8AONa)

3 Once the IRS latches on, they can continue to go back as far as they want if they feel it'll be productive.
So yeah, I've got my returns going back more than 30 years as CYA for those bastards.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:04 PM (SSBCb)

4 Citizen, to collect social security, it is your responsibility to prove you worked. All our records have been destroyed by the bad orange man?

Posted by: 2009Refugee at December 15, 2024 02:04 PM (8AONa)

5 ...but I also have a sneaking suspicion that one day...far in the future...I will need them!

Heh.
I have returns going back 20 years.
Hi. My name is Diogenes and I'm a tax return hoarder.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 02:04 PM (W/lyH)

6 I wonder if putting them on microfiche would be sufficient. You wouldn't have to worry about digital corruption or file format changes, but you could still see the original information.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 15, 2024 02:05 PM (VNX3d)

7 You, as a mere tax sheep to be sheared can only go back three years, because FU.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:05 PM (SSBCb)

8 And remember, folks, the system is "Voluntary".

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:06 PM (SSBCb)

9
Uhoh.

Uhoh for murderin' joe & meeka and msdnc fake "news," I mean.

They also defamed President Trump, on air, for several minutes, just like Disney fake "news'" george stuffitupmyass.

Will they pay & apologize, too?

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 15, 2024 02:06 PM (cCzTN)

10 Wait.

You're supposed to keep hard copies of your tax returns?

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 15, 2024 02:06 PM (rU0z4)

11 I have a stack of HSA receipts that, if it tipped over, would injure The Cat

Posted by: 2009Refugee at December 15, 2024 02:07 PM (8AONa)

12 I have durn near all my tax info, due to packratism and a fear of bureaucrats.

But mostly packratism.

Don't worry, Dildo, we'll visit you in the big house!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Agent of Chaos at December 15, 2024 02:07 PM (kpS4V)

13 All you have to do is scan your returns and supporting material. I have a folder on my hard drive for taxes going back to 2004. I also have them on a thumb drive I keep in our fireproof safe with other important documents. It's not rocket surgery, folks.

Posted by: RoadRunner at December 15, 2024 02:08 PM (yhALD)

14 Tax court: where you are guilty until you prove you're innocent.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:08 PM (SSBCb)

15
btw, the Democrat internet Goblins are seething about Disney "news" "bending the knee" and settling the lawsuit.

Lot's of lawsuit settlement "experts" have been created in the last 24 hours on Twitter.

Also, that little fat cocksucker Mr Potatohead on cnn is trying to spin this as our side using "lawfare."

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 15, 2024 02:09 PM (cCzTN)

16 Shred anything older than 7 years. Tell your accountant to do the same. If your accountant holds any returns and docs older than 7 years the irs can request them

Posted by: Redenzo at December 15, 2024 02:09 PM (V/pbu)

17 All you have to do is scan your returns and supporting material. I have a folder on my hard drive for taxes going back to 2004. I also have them on a thumb drive I keep in our fireproof safe with other important documents. It's not rocket surgery, folks.

Is there any reason to use a scanner anymore, given the insane resolution of modern phone cameras? Just take a picture, and save it on one or more thumb drives and a DVD. Distribute them in multiple places and, if you have anyone you trust, e.g. kids, leave copies with them.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 15, 2024 02:10 PM (xCA6C)

18 My main reason for hoarding my tax returns in several boxes in the large box of divorce proceedings papers next to them. When she dies, they all go in the shredder. Unfortunately, I will probably be outlived, thus the papers for the unhappy executor of my estate who will undoubtedly be served by her attorney.

Posted by: epador at December 15, 2024 02:11 PM (eI42w)

19 Legally the irs has only 10 years to collect taxes once they are assessed. The Statute of Limitations runs out at that time.

Posted by: Truck Monkey Report at December 15, 2024 02:11 PM (1FWWQ)

20 I think I still have tax records from the 90's.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 15, 2024 02:12 PM (Q4IgG)

21 I still have tests and notes from middle school. OCD is real.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 02:12 PM (HsOwE)

22 Heh.
I have returns going back 20 years.
Hi. My name is Diogenes and I'm a tax return hoarder.
Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 02:04 PM (W/lyH)

Amigo, I probably have returns going back to the 90s, stacked with unrelated papers, in some box in some closet or the garage somewhere under another box. I'm not so much a hoarder (maybe a semi-hoarder?) but more just incredibly disorganized. I can't find the time or space to go through all of the disorganized papers that are here and there (and everywhere). Maybe I just need a bigger house!

Posted by: Dr. Fausti - I AM The Science at December 15, 2024 02:12 PM (lg881)

23
lol

govt & fake news: The drones are "not military."

Narrator: So....the drones are, indeed, military.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 15, 2024 02:13 PM (cCzTN)

24 I wouldn't worry about it. You're going to be attacked by drones long before your audit.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 15, 2024 02:13 PM (LkLld)

25 For most of my life, I saved all 'important' paperwork. Yes, it was a mountain of documentation. But, it did come in handy once. When I applied for my first CCW, the state required that I list all the addresses I have ever lived at.

I had to review my old tax filings to dig up that information. Thank goodness I kept them. I had 24 addresses as an adult.

I've since gone to the 'keep 7 years worth route'.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 15, 2024 02:13 PM (WXNFJ)

26 I get rid of my tax files 10 years and older. I've been audited twice but only had to go back three years.

Posted by: Cosda at December 15, 2024 02:15 PM (VFG+R)

27 CBD, here's something groovy for your next music thread:

https://tinyurl.com/4fywh2hn

Hello young folk, whattcha shakin'?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Agent of Chaos at December 15, 2024 02:16 PM (kpS4V)

28 7 years. File new one, shred oldest one.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at December 15, 2024 02:16 PM (dR6yv)

29 Bought an OCR scanner early on. How wonderful, admiring a scanned schematic something became evident, there were things missing. umph

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others at December 15, 2024 02:16 PM (+3jTj)

30 Posted by: Soothsayer at December 15, 2024 02:09 PM (cCzTN)

This is a lighthearted post. Please keep it that way.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 15, 2024 02:16 PM (d9fT1)

31 Posted by: All Hail Eris, Agent of Chaos at December 15, 2024 02:16 PM (kpS4V)

That is...um...uh...

Wow.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 15, 2024 02:18 PM (d9fT1)

32 Been paying taxes 60 years, can I stop now?

Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 02:20 PM (LHPAg)

33 We be calling on Presdent Biden to protect all Gays and Transginder people in Syria and to punish those who does bad things to therse peeple.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro,Vt at December 15, 2024 02:20 PM (7uGna)

34 Isn't the federal law 7 years? I mean nothing actionable after 7 years so no need to preserve the records?

Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:20 PM (1m82a)

35 Maybe with Trump the IRS will be teethless for the next 4-5 years....

Posted by: Ferd Berfall at December 15, 2024 02:21 PM (NAFdz)

36 Tonypete, 24 addresses as an adult? Wow.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:21 PM (1m82a)

37 After my wife passed I had (and still have) to go through tons of paperwork going back to the 1980s. I've started shredding old paid bills and statements more than a few years old. I also had to sort through FILES paperwork, some of which went back to the late 60s. Lesson: don't leave so much clutter for your next of kin to have to clean...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:21 PM (SSBCb)

38 The only good about that video was the long haired brunette looked like a 1.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at December 15, 2024 02:22 PM (dR6yv)

39 What's the deal if you have someone prepare your taxes? Who keeps the records... especially if you've been e-filing for decades.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 15, 2024 02:22 PM (Q4IgG)

40 Oh my:

https://
wattsupwiththat.com/
2024/12/14/
the-threat-of-mirror-
life-revolutionary-science-
or-unprecedented-risk/

Posted by: Marooned at December 15, 2024 02:22 PM (kt8QE)

41 34 Isn't the federal law 7 years? I mean nothing actionable after 7 years so no need to preserve the records?
Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:20 PM (1m82a)

Please provide a good date and time for us to come help you with your taxes............

Have a Nice Day......

Posted by: The IRS at December 15, 2024 02:22 PM (6yL75)

42 My tax files go back to 1964 -- when I paid $6.25 in federal taxes. ALL documents and receipts.

Posted by: French Jeton at December 15, 2024 02:23 PM (VDSsj)

43 FIL'S not files. Damn autocucumber

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:23 PM (SSBCb)

44 34 Isn't the federal law 7 years? I mean nothing actionable after 7 years so no need to preserve the records?
Posted by: rhomboid
-----------

It's 7 years just because we'd like to take a look. If they find something they can take it back to your birth. You do have your birth certificate, right?

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others at December 15, 2024 02:24 PM (+3jTj)

45 It's 7 years just because we'd like to take a look. If they find something they can take it back to your birth. You do have your birth certificate, right?
Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others at December 15, 2024 02:24 PM (+3jTj)

Oh poopy.

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at December 15, 2024 02:25 PM (PiwSw)

46 CBD, here's something groovy for your next music thread:

https://tinyurl.com/4fywh2hn

Hello young folk, whattcha shakin'?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Agent of Chaos at December 15, 2024 02:16 PM (kpS4V)

CBD,

Same era. You can use this one on both the food and music threads.

And much easier on the eyes and ears:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwNtawzF-LE

Posted by: naturalfake at December 15, 2024 02:27 PM (iJfKG)

47 lol
govt & fake news: The drones are "not military."
Narrator: So....the drones are, indeed, military.
Posted by: Soothsayer

Sounds like a Clintonian evasion.

The drones aren't military, but the guys flying them are.

Posted by: mikeski at December 15, 2024 02:27 PM (DgGvY)

48
I've had it with the 2-step Log In process bullshit, too.

I log in, with a username & password. But.That's.Not.Enough. They want to further verify it's me.

They have to send me a text message, for security, you see.

They want Our Phone Numbers. That's all. Then they sell our info, and that's why we get email spam and telemarketer calls.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 15, 2024 02:27 PM (cCzTN)

49 40 Oh my:

https://
wattsupwiththat.com/
2024/12/14/
the-threat-of-mirror-
life-revolutionary-science-
or-unprecedented-risk/
Posted by: Marooned at December 15, 2024 02:22 PM (kt8QE)

Thalidomide is one such case where molecular chirality meant one version stopped nausea, the other caused nasty birth defects, and production couldn't separate the two forms.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:29 PM (SSBCb)

50 tHere is nothinG LigHthearted aBout taXEs !!!

Posted by: runner at December 15, 2024 02:30 PM (QTCRF)

51 My FWP. I have one of those push the button combination locks on my front door. It hasn't been working and a battery change didn't help. Turns out there a little switch you can switch to turn the lock off and we must've accidentally switched the switch.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 02:30 PM (L/fGl)

52 They just could not install a molecular doorman to ask whether they were left or right handed?

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 02:31 PM (HsOwE)

53 My FWP: hospital gowns. Just sayin' for no reason in particular.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:32 PM (SSBCb)

54 My CPA says there are no limitations if the IRS suspects fraud.

Posted by: gourmand du jour at December 15, 2024 02:32 PM (c6hLR)

55 Belted napkin.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 02:33 PM (HsOwE)

56 52 They just could not install a molecular doorman to ask whether they were left or right handed?
Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 02:31 PM (HsOwE)

Muslim solution: cut off unwanted handedness.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:33 PM (SSBCb)

57 I want a LeeLoo machine and a few starter cells.

Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 02:34 PM (LHPAg)

58 You are guilty until proven innocent. Without those papers you could be liable for millions of dollars to an entity that could literally vaporize you, your family, your neighborhood, your city, and your county into radioactive ash. Thank you Mister Wilson and your 16th amendment.

Posted by: Minuteman at December 15, 2024 02:35 PM (LaNzR)

59 Scientists, however, are on the cusp of being able to synthesize entire organisms made from molecules with reversed chirality. These mirror organisms, if realized, would operate entirely outside the framework of Earth’s biological ecosystem.

-
And you know what that means: zombies.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 02:35 PM (L/fGl)

60 51 My FWP. I have one of those push the button combination locks on my front door. It hasn't been working and a battery change didn't help. Turns out there a little switch you can switch to turn the lock off and we must've accidentally switched the switch.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha

Those things scare the crap out of me.

What happens when they malfunction during an emergency and you can't either get in or out of your home?

No thanks. I'll keep my keys.

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 15, 2024 02:35 PM (uMSMA)

61 39 What's the deal if you have someone prepare your taxes? Who keeps the records... especially if you've been e-filing for decades.
Posted by: Martini Farmer
---

Discontent with my tax man I used a referral service (free 1st consultation) to find another. The new man compared my data sheet with the tax forms and quickly discovered that they did not comport.
The first tax man had not used my data but had filled in numbers that would satisfy Uncle Sam (If you know numbers that will satisfy Sam it's a lot easier to fill in the blanks than actually doing work).
There's another story about his illegal activity but needless to say the following years my taxes were considerably less.

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others at December 15, 2024 02:36 PM (+3jTj)

62 Speaking of federal court, when was the last time you saw a judge rescind his retirement because his party lost the election?

Posted by: JackStraw at December 15, 2024 02:36 PM (LkLld)

63 All Hail Eris, Agent of Chaos

I have that video saved on my laptop because it is one of the goofiest things I've seen on YT.

Posted by: French Jeton at December 15, 2024 02:36 PM (VDSsj)

64 And you know what that means: zombies.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 02:35 PM (L/fGl)

28 Idiots later.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 02:36 PM (HsOwE)

65 58 You are guilty until proven innocent. Without those papers you could be liable for millions of dollars to an entity that could literally vaporize you, your family, your neighborhood, your city, and your county into radioactive ash. Thank you Mister Wilson and your 16th amendment.
Posted by: Minuteman at December 15, 2024 02:35 PM (LaNzR)

Civil Asset Forfeiture works the same way. Prove that cash you had in the car didn't come from illicit activity, prole!

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:37 PM (SSBCb)

66 Soothsayer, Joe had Mika offer a "lip service" apology to 45 / 47.

Posted by: Marooned at December 15, 2024 02:38 PM (kt8QE)

67 No thanks. I'll keep my keys.
Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 15, 2024 02:35 PM (uMSMA)
Keypad on a gubsafe? Nope.

Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 02:38 PM (LHPAg)

68 Bad news, everyone. Apparently, the boycott is growing.

New York Post@nypost
Jimmy Carter, 100, will skip Donald Trump’s inauguration, joining growing list of Dems

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 02:38 PM (L/fGl)

69 Paying my fair share Comrade

Posted by: Skip at December 15, 2024 02:38 PM (fwDg9)

70 Well I have all my tax records from the first year I paid, so my question was academic. It's not like they take up much space, given that I wasn't involved in limited partnerships and exotic investment vehicles in my 20s.

My favorite year was a year I was not regularly employed, some mix of contract work (living in DC) and I had something like 10 forms to file. Ridiculous.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:41 PM (1m82a)

71 >>> I am intellectually confident that nothing bad will come of shredding those papers, but I also have a sneaking suspicion that one day...far in the future...I will need them!
===

Supposedly social security payments are based upon your last thirty years of income.

AND.... You re responsible for those records or it counts as ZER0.

People wonder why their SS sucks.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 15, 2024 02:42 PM (/lPRQ)

72 I'm gonna need a lot more pudding.

https://tinyurl.com/279d23eb

Posted by: JackStraw at December 15, 2024 02:42 PM (LkLld)

73 Feds have used nukes on people for tax issues? Wow.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:42 PM (1m82a)

74 67 No thanks. I'll keep my keys.
Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 15, 2024 02:35 PM (uMSMA)
Keypad on a gubsafe? Nope.
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 02:38 PM (LHPAg)

I just...canoe to my nearest reservoir and do some dredging. Yeah, that's what I do...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:44 PM (SSBCb)

75 Milei will *not* be boycotting the inauguration. Hoping he brings his chainsaw and is given duty on the perimeter dealing with "protesters".

Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:45 PM (1m82a)

76 A guy I used to work with went all in on the IOT for his house. Everything possible was tied to the internet; his appliances, thermostat, locks, garage door opener, lights... everything possible to be used with an app.

Then the power went out for a week and he couldn't operate the thermostat, open his garage, unlock his doors, turn on the lights, etc.

His annoyance was amusing.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 15, 2024 02:45 PM (Q4IgG)

77 One small gun safe has both keypad and key entry. Meh.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:45 PM (1m82a)

78 @30/CBD: { This is a lighthearted post. Please keep it that way. }

@15/Soothsayer: { ...Mr Potatohead on cnn is trying to spin this as our side using "lawfare." }

CBD wants lighthearted, so be it. :-)

Our side's reaction to that video clip should be something like this:

https://youtu.be/eqBR8knRM2w

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at December 15, 2024 02:47 PM (O7YUW)

79 The Feds used nukes on the Japanese. I doubt the Japanese paid taxes before August 1945.

Posted by: Minuteman at December 15, 2024 02:47 PM (LaNzR)

80 I am intellectually confident that nothing bad will come of shredding those papers, but I also have a sneaking suspicion that one day...far in the future...I will need them!
-

If they want to get you, they'll find a way.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at December 15, 2024 02:48 PM (adINt)

81 68 Bad news, everyone. Apparently, the boycott is growing.

New York Post@nypost
Jimmy Carter, 100, will skip Donald Trump’s inauguration, joining growing list of Dems

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 02:38 PM (L/fGl)

Good news is I doubt Lizzo will be there

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:49 PM (SSBCb)

82
They have to send me a text message, for security, you see.

They want Our Phone Numbers. That's all. Then they sell our info, and that's why we get email spam and telemarketer calls.
Posted by: Soothsayer
---
This happened to me this week, with a brokerage firm. I had (via their website) arranged for them to send me a check. I called a day later to obtain a tracking number. Went through the usual ID stuff (everything but eye color). But, the guy on the other end insisted on texting me a security code.

Now the truly odd thing about that is that they do not have my cell number. So, I gave the guy my cell number, mind you, he had no way of knowing whose cell number it might be. So, they are suspicious that the caller (me) might not be on the up and up, but they're going to send the security code to an unknown phone.

It gets better. The guy says that I must give him the code within one minute. Three minutes later the code shows up. Guy won't accept it. And, he locks my account.

That was on a Saturday evening. Monday, I read the riot act to the local office.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 15, 2024 02:49 PM (XeU6L)

83 I have that video saved on my laptop because it is one of the goofiest things I've seen on YT.
Posted by: French Jeton at December 15, 2024 02:36 PM (VDSsj)
----

It was an odd time where the establishment squares were trying to be hip to the jive. Sometimes the results were unintentionally hip, like Shatner singing "Tambourine Man".

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Agent of Chaos at December 15, 2024 02:49 PM (kpS4V)

84 There's always "my dog ate the tax collector."

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at December 15, 2024 02:50 PM (adINt)

85 You should destroy old tax returns as soon as possible because if they still exist they are considered evidentiary. You cannot exclude old records because they are merely stale but you can exclude them if they have been properly destroyed.

Posted by: San Franpsycho i at December 15, 2024 02:50 PM (RIvkX)

86 Gub safe has a key. Front door unlocks by key. Thermostat is manually adjusted. Washer is solid state. I like it this way.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at December 15, 2024 02:50 PM (dR6yv)

87 Good news is I doubt Lizzo will be there
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:49 PM (SSBCb)
But they already roped off her bleacher.

Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 02:51 PM (LHPAg)

88 Scientists, however, are on the cusp of being able to synthesize entire organisms made from molecules with reversed chirality. These mirror organisms, if realized, would operate entirely outside the framework of Earth’s biological ecosystem.
-
And you know what that means: zombies.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks

Worse: zombies that won't stop because mirror zombies can't get any nutrition from eating normal human brains.

Posted by: mikeski at December 15, 2024 02:51 PM (DgGvY)

89 In related news, Jimmy Carter will be skipping the Boston Marathon this year.

And Bill Clinton will skipping No-Nut November. Again.

Posted by: Minuteman at December 15, 2024 02:51 PM (LaNzR)

90 Better if no Cultural Marxist shows up because they are packing the house up to move overseas

Posted by: Skip at December 15, 2024 02:52 PM (fwDg9)

91 I use Turbotax. I keep all my receipts on file, and PDF copies of all the returns.

Posted by: Tom Alan Brosz at December 15, 2024 02:52 PM (+W6G0)

92 I don't think these Establishment Dems have realized they are irrelevant.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Agent of Chaos at December 15, 2024 02:52 PM (kpS4V)

93 But, the guy on the other end insisted on texting me a security code.

Now the truly odd thing about that is that they do not have my cell number. So, I gave the guy my cell number, mind you, he had no way of knowing whose cell number it might be. So, they are suspicious that the caller (me) might not be on the up and up, but they're going to send the security code to an unknown phone.

It gets better. The guy says that I must give him the code within one minute. Three minutes later the code shows up. Guy won't accept it. And, he locks my account.
Posted by: Mike Hammer

* orders giant foam MN Vikings hand from Amazon *

* waits for delivery *

* giant facepalm *

Posted by: mikeski at December 15, 2024 02:53 PM (DgGvY)

94 Is that why all those drones are up? They're searching for CBD's tax returns?

Worse, they're looking to drop off their bomb load of maple syrup on this house?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 15, 2024 02:53 PM (VNX3d)

95 76 A guy I used to work with went all in on the IOT for his house. Everything possible was tied to the internet; his appliances, thermostat, locks, garage door opener, lights... everything possible to be used with an app.

Then the power went out for a week and he couldn't operate the thermostat, open his garage, unlock his doors, turn on the lights, etc.

His annoyance was amusing.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 15, 2024 02:45 PM (Q4IgG)

IOT devices have the worst security, so are easily hacked. Also, your not-so-friendly neighborhood govt loves being able to set your thermostat for you while simultaneously locking you out.

Win-win, but not for you, comrade.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:53 PM (SSBCb)

96 *twitches*
*drooling intensifies*

Posted by: Jimmah Carter at December 15, 2024 02:55 PM (dR6yv)

97 84 There's always "my dog ate the tax collector."
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at December 15, 2024 02:50 PM (adINt)

I hear a herd of swine are more efficient...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:55 PM (SSBCb)

98 We need a thread on all of the crazy rightwing conspiracy theories that turned out go be true.

>>ABC agrees to give $15 million to Donald Trump's presidential library to settle defamation lawsuit

https://tinyurl.com/5d5fwfud

Winning? Yes please.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 15, 2024 02:55 PM (LkLld)

99 87 Good news is I doubt Lizzo will be there
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:49 PM (SSBCb)
But they already roped off her bleacher.
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 02:51 PM (LHPAg)

Like they would a beached whale.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:56 PM (SSBCb)

100 94 Is that why all those drones are up? They're searching for CBD's tax returns?

Worse, they're looking to drop off their bomb load of maple syrup on this house?
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 15, 2024 02:53 PM (VNX3d)

Only after battering his house first, French style.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:58 PM (SSBCb)

101 99 87 Good news is I doubt Lizzo will be there
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:49 PM (SSBCb)
But they already roped off her bleacher.
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 02:51 PM (LHPAg)

Like they would a beached whale.
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:56 PM (SSBCb)

If there's a huge buffet, you mean a land shark after a school of fish.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 15, 2024 02:58 PM (VNX3d)

102 I hear a herd of swine are more efficient...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:55 PM (SSBCb)

But then you have to feed them corn for a few weeks to get the taste out of them!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 15, 2024 02:58 PM (d9fT1)

103 Mayorkas said on Stephanopoulos that the drones are "no big deal" IOW, he's planning a coup.

Posted by: long night ending, dawn in January at December 15, 2024 03:00 PM (2NXcZ)

104 I guess you've all heard Navy beat the snot out of Army yesterday?

Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:00 PM (LHPAg)

105 102 I hear a herd of swine are more efficient...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 02:55 PM (SSBCb)

But then you have to feed them corn for a few weeks to get the taste out of them!
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 15, 2024 02:58 PM (d9fT1)

Well, no plan is perfect. Just even more treif than normal.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:00 PM (SSBCb)

106 68 Bad news, everyone. Apparently, the boycott is growing.

New York Post@nypost
Jimmy Carter, 100, will skip Donald Trump’s inauguration, joining growing list of Dems

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 02:38 PM (L/fGl)
---

Boycott helps with the sorting.

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM (+3jTj)

107 104 I guess you've all heard Navy beat the snot out of Army yesterday?
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:00 PM (LHPAg)

I thought it was some other body fluid when Navy beats off Army...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM (SSBCb)

108 The drones aren't military, but the guys flying them are.
Posted by: mikeski at December 15, 2024 02:27 PM (DgGvY)

DHS

Posted by: long night ending, dawn in January at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM (2NXcZ)

109 > >>ABC agrees to give $15 million to Donald Trump's presidential library to settle defamation lawsuit
---------
Joe and Mika went and kissed Trump's ring so they wouldn't be dealt a similar judgement. They must have saw it coming... or their handlers at MSNBC did, and told them to go make nice, or else.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 15, 2024 03:02 PM (Q4IgG)

110 >>ABC agrees to give $15 million to Donald Trump's presidential library to settle defamation lawsuit

https://tinyurl.com/5d5fwfud

Winning? Yes please.
Posted by: JackStraw
---

Plus $1million to his lawyers.

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others at December 15, 2024 03:03 PM (+3jTj)

111 110 >>ABC agrees to give $15 million to Donald Trump's presidential library to settle defamation lawsuit

https://tinyurl.com/5d5fwfud

Winning? Yes please.
Posted by: JackStraw
---

Plus $1million to his lawyers.
Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others at December 15, 2024 03:03 PM (+3jTj)

Just shows you how scared they were of the discovery phase. LOL.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:04 PM (SSBCb)

112 Leonard Nimoy singing about BILBO baggins and reading eastern philosophy and poetry.

I think the advantage is to Nimoy.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 03:04 PM (HsOwE)

113 108 The drones aren't military, but the guys flying them are.
Posted by: mikeski at December 15, 2024 02:27 PM (DgGvY)

DHS
Posted by: long night ending, dawn in January at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM (2NXcZ)

Just Tren de Agua...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:05 PM (SSBCb)

114
The Statute of Limitations runs out at that time.
Posted by: Truck Monkey Report at December 15, 2024 02:11 PM (1FWWQ)

_________

"Oh yeah? We can change that." - Alvin Bragg, Letitia James, et al.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 15, 2024 03:06 PM (dxSpM)

115 107 104 I guess you've all heard Navy beat the snot out of Army yesterday?
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:00 PM (LHPAg)

I thought it was some other body fluid when Navy beats off Army...
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM (SSBCb)
I went in your medical chart and adjusted your diet.

Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:06 PM (LHPAg)

116 Surely I'm not the first at the HQ to post the National Anthem from the Army Navy game:

https://tinyurl.com/ysrbhmwf

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at December 15, 2024 03:07 PM (adINt)

117 113. Mayorkas. He's in charge of the border, Secret Service, FEMA and now he's using all the drones he said were his electronic border.

Posted by: long night ending, dawn in January at December 15, 2024 03:07 PM (2NXcZ)

118 I hate the smell of maple syrup. Taste is not bad, but I have a problem with... certain types of sweetness. Brown sugar, molasses, marshmallow, bananas. They taste and smell wrong to me. It has gotten worse as I get older.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 03:07 PM (HsOwE)

119 I still have tests and notes from middle school. OCD is real.
Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 02:12 PM (HsOwE)
-----------

I just helped my parents clean out their home of many decades so they could move to a retirement community. When I was clearing out the desk in my grandmother's old room (she lived with them) I found report cards. From elementary school. They were my mother's. My mother is 86.

My grandmother died in 1997. My parents didn't even own that desk when she passed away.

Posted by: bluebell at December 15, 2024 03:09 PM (79pEw)

120 @82/Mike Hammer: "But, the guy on the other end insisted on texting me a security code. ... but they're going to send the security code to an unknown phone. "

Oh there's SO much wrong with what they're doing, I can't even start up this rant sensibly.

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at December 15, 2024 03:09 PM (O7YUW)

121 Feels like a .38 Special kind of afternoon.

https://tinyurl.com/358usw3s

Posted by: JackStraw at December 15, 2024 03:10 PM (LkLld)

122 115 107 104 I guess you've all heard Navy beat the snot out of Army yesterday?
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:00 PM (LHPAg)

I thought it was some other body fluid when Navy beats off Army...
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM (SSBCb)
I went in your medical chart and adjusted your diet.
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:06 PM (LHPAg)

Oh, thanks for the extra cookies.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:11 PM (SSBCb)

123 Milei will *not* be boycotting the inauguration. Hoping he brings his chainsaw and is given duty on the perimeter dealing with "protesters".
Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:45 PM (1m82a)
-----------

And shouts "Afuera!" every time he revs the chainsaw.

Posted by: bluebell at December 15, 2024 03:12 PM (79pEw)

124 That was a fine rendition of the National Anthem.

They're no Enrico Palazzo, though.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Agent of Chaos at December 15, 2024 03:12 PM (kpS4V)

125
108 The drones aren't military, but the guys flying them are.
Posted by: mikeski at December 15, 2024 02:27 PM (DgGvY)

DHS
Posted by: long night ending, dawn
---

We can't talk about that, this is a happy thread.

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others at December 15, 2024 03:13 PM (+3jTj)

126 118 I hate the smell of maple syrup. Taste is not bad, but I have a problem with... certain types of sweetness. Brown sugar, molasses, marshmallow, bananas. They taste and smell wrong to me. It has gotten worse as I get older.
Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 03:07 PM (HsOwE)

Good thing consumption of said is not a mandatory tax, like FWP Odumbocare.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:13 PM (SSBCb)

127 Milei will *not* be boycotting the inauguration. Hoping he brings his chainsaw and is given duty on the perimeter dealing with "protesters".
Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:45 PM (1m82a)
-----------

And shouts "Afuera!" every time he revs the chainsaw.
Posted by: bluebell at December 15, 2024 03:12 PM (79pEw)

Perhaps he'll get an upgrade - a flamethrower tank.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 15, 2024 03:13 PM (VNX3d)

128 Be nice to Carter, he's a longtime dementia survivor..
Since 1975.

Posted by: Boulder Terlit Hobo at December 15, 2024 03:14 PM (BMnRu)

129 I hate the smell of maple syrup.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 03:07 PM (HsOwE)

You're a good man.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 15, 2024 03:15 PM (d9fT1)

130 I'm happy that UofM is suspending pro-palestinian protestors and fining them 5.5K. It's a start

Posted by: long night ending, dawn in January at December 15, 2024 03:15 PM (2NXcZ)

131 127 Milei will *not* be boycotting the inauguration. Hoping he brings his chainsaw and is given duty on the perimeter dealing with "protesters".
Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:45 PM (1m82a)
-----------

And shouts "Afuera!" every time he revs the chainsaw.
Posted by: bluebell at December 15, 2024 03:12 PM (79pEw)

Perhaps he'll get an upgrade - a flamethrower tank.
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 15, 2024 03:13 PM (VNX3d)

Helicopters.
But I swear, I thought chainsaws could fly...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:15 PM (SSBCb)

132 I want a LeeLoo machine and a few starter cells.

Posted by: Eromero

*raises hand*

Monica Belluci. Lemme know when the LeeLoo machine is free.

Posted by: BifBewalski at December 15, 2024 03:15 PM (MsrgL)

133 Also happy that Ohio is trying to get legislation banning "flag planting" after football games. Losers gotta lose.

Posted by: long night ending, dawn in January at December 15, 2024 03:17 PM (2NXcZ)

134 I hate the smell of maple syrup.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 03:07 PM (HsOwE)

You're a good man.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 15, 2024 03:15 PM (d9fT1)

I feel the same, but about Brussel Sprouts and liver. To each their own.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 15, 2024 03:18 PM (VNX3d)

135 Ric Grenell - Envoy for Special Missions.

Damn, I wanted that job.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 15, 2024 03:18 PM (LkLld)

136 Don't worry, Dildo, we'll visit you in the big house!
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Agent of Chaos at December 15, 2024 02:07 PM

Not only that, we'll bring French Toast and Vermont Grade B maple syrup!

We'll even bring you a Red Sox World Championship T-shirt to wear.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 15, 2024 03:18 PM (a3Q+t)

137 Pardon me for pointing out a pattern:

https://tinyurl.com/ycxas8ny

I suggest you start looking on X who's being put back on the streets. This is sickening!

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at December 15, 2024 03:19 PM (adINt)

138 a flamethrower tank.

-
I saw Dr. No for the first time in decades yesterday. It's really not a good movie, despite the flamethrower tank.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 03:19 PM (L/fGl)

139 I want Musk to build Trump a space plane, Spaceforce1...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:20 PM (SSBCb)

140 135 Ric Grenell - Envoy for Special Missions.

Damn, I wanted that job.
Posted by: JackStraw
---

Venezuela, number 1 or 2 on his mission statement.

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others at December 15, 2024 03:21 PM (+3jTj)

141
You want a LeeLoo machine.

You'd settle for a Monica Belluci machine.

You'll get a Lena D. machine.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 15, 2024 03:21 PM (a3Q+t)

142 122 115 107 104 I guess you've all heard Navy beat the snot out of Army yesterday?
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:00 PM (LHPAg)

I thought it was some other body fluid when Navy beats off Army...
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM (SSBCb)
I went in your medical chart and adjusted your diet.
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:06 PM (LHPAg)

Oh, thanks for the extra cookies.
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:11 PM (SSBCb)
***

Were those Space Force cheerleaders?

Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 03:22 PM (W/lyH)

143 141
You want a LeeLoo machine.

You'd settle for a Monica Belluci machine.

You'll get a Lena D. machine.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 15, 2024 03:21 PM (a3Q+t)

The transgendered version.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:23 PM (SSBCb)

144 141
You want a LeeLoo machine.

You'd settle for a Monica Belluci machine.

You'll get a Lena D. machine.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 15, 2024 03:21 PM (a3Q+t)
I was sure you were going to say Lizzo, That's the jumbo machine. Have to be ordered and take 2 years.

Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:24 PM (LHPAg)

145 I thought it was some other body fluid when Navy beats off Army...
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM

Be advised that the Navy does not issue tweezers and magnifying glasses.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 15, 2024 03:24 PM (a3Q+t)

146 I hate the smell of maple syrup.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Johnson work phone at December 15, 2024 03:07 PM (HsOwE)

You're a good man.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 15, 2024 03:15 PM (d9fT1)

I feel the same, but about Brussel Sprouts and liver. To each their own.
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 15, 2024 03:18 PM (VNX3d)
***

*fires up anti-okra rocket launcher equipped drone*
Take us to DEFCON 1!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 03:26 PM (W/lyH)

147 Heh. Heh.

6ixBuzzTV @6ixbuzztv 50m
#REPORT: 12 unreleased Micheal Jackson songs discovered in abandoned California storage unit.

Posted by: andycanuck (hovnC) at December 15, 2024 03:26 PM (hovnC)

148 142 122 115 107 104 I guess you've all heard Navy beat the snot out of Army yesterday?
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:00 PM (LHPAg)

I thought it was some other body fluid when Navy beats off Army...
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM (SSBCb)
I went in your medical chart and adjusted your diet.
Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:06 PM (LHPAg)

Oh, thanks for the extra cookies.
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:11 PM (SSBCb)
***

Were those Space Force cheerleaders?
Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 03:22 PM (W/lyH)

Can't say I've seen or had Space Force Cheerleaders' cookies...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:26 PM (SSBCb)

149 #147 Spin Boy @Spinboydotcom 49m Replying to @6ixbuzztv
AI + record companies = "Newly discovered songs"

Posted by: andycanuck (hovnC) at December 15, 2024 03:27 PM (hovnC)

150 6ixBuzzTV @6ixbuzztv 50m
#REPORT: 12 unreleased Micheal Jackson songs discovered in abandoned California storage unit.
Posted by: andycanuck

MJ's favorite song is Me And Julio Down By the Schoolyard

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 03:28 PM (L/fGl)

151 When we moved from Connecticut to Kentucky I found box after box of cancelled checks and registers in the basement dating back 32 years. I said enough is enough and burned them all.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at December 15, 2024 03:28 PM (Rcnd3)

152 145 I thought it was some other body fluid when Navy beats off Army...
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM

Be advised that the Navy does not issue tweezers and magnifying glasses.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 15, 2024 03:24 PM (a3Q+t)

https://youtu.be/FXI21S4ZWJU

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:29 PM (SSBCb)

153 I love the smell of maple syrup in the morning. It smells like breakfast.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 03:30 PM (L/fGl)

154 It's a write off, Jerry.
They just write it off.

Posted by: Kramer at December 15, 2024 03:30 PM (dg+HA)

155 I thought it was some other body fluid when Navy beats off Army...
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:01 PM

Be advised that the Navy does not issue tweezers and magnifying glasses.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 15, 2024 03:24 PM (a3Q+t)
***

Well, the last time I saw Neptunus Rex, they may want to rethink that.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 03:32 PM (W/lyH)

156 Jen Rubin.

How it started and how it's going:

https://tinyurl.com/4857xs42

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at December 15, 2024 03:32 PM (adINt)

157 Jeremy Kauffman @jeremykauffman
just ask yourself:
do you really want to live in a world where every time someone kills a deranged, violent bum, they meet the President?

-
No. I want to live in a world where that would not be possible because so many deranged, violent bums are meeting their maker.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 03:34 PM (L/fGl)

158 Hi. My name is Diogenes and I'm a tax return hoarder.
Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 02:04 PM (W/lyH)

Hello, Diogenes.

Posted by: Roy at December 15, 2024 03:35 PM (z+ik4)

159 151 When we moved from Connecticut to Kentucky I found box after box of cancelled checks and registers in the basement dating back 32 years. I said enough is enough and burned them all.
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at December 15, 2024 03:28 PM (Rcnd3)

When Dad died a few years ago, checks and cancelled checks signed by his first wife who died in 1954...but also paperwork allowing me to find out he worked at Govt map facility. I now know why he learned Russian in the 50s...

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:35 PM (SSBCb)

160 Jeremy Kaufmann is beginning to mellow as time goes on.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 15, 2024 03:37 PM (D7oie)

161 When we cleaned out my mom's stuff when she moved to assisted living at age 88, we found canceled checks and tax returns going back to the Kennedy Administration.

Posted by: RS at December 15, 2024 03:37 PM (E7m29)

162 157 Jeremy Kauffman @jeremykauffman
just ask yourself:
do you really want to live in a world where every time someone kills a deranged, violent bum, they meet the President?

-
No. I want to live in a world where that would not be possible because so many deranged, violent bums are meeting their maker.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 03:34 PM (L/fGl)
I want my deranged, violent bums to have a life-changing interaction with GOD.

Posted by: Eromero at December 15, 2024 03:38 PM (LHPAg)

163 161 When we cleaned out my mom's stuff when she moved to assisted living at age 88, we found canceled checks and tax returns going back to the Kennedy Administration.
Posted by: RS at December 15, 2024 03:37 PM (E7m29)

No Apple stock certificates though, right?

Posted by: Roy at December 15, 2024 03:38 PM (z+ik4)

164 Jeremy Kauffman @jeremykauffman
just ask yourself:
do you really want to live in a world where every time someone kills a deranged, violent bum, they meet the President?

-
No. I want to live in a world where that would not be possible because so many deranged, violent bums are meeting their maker.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 03:34 PM (L/fGl)
***

Well, I'm thinking after the first hundred or so, the word would get out and voila! No more deranged violent bums.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 03:38 PM (W/lyH)

165 I could have been Envoy for Special Missions

Posted by: Skip at December 15, 2024 03:40 PM (fwDg9)

166 Hi. My name is Diogenes and I'm a tax return hoarder.
Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 02:04 PM (W/lyH)

Hello, Diogenes.
Posted by: Roy at December 15, 2024 03:35 PM (z+ik4)

Sigh.
Every time I get a new coin, the IRS takes it.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 03:40 PM (W/lyH)

167
do you really want to live in a world where every time someone kills a deranged, violent bum, they meet the President?

__________

I don't want to live in a world where people acting to defend peaceful citizens are arrested and charged with murder by grandstanding DAs.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 15, 2024 03:41 PM (dxSpM)

168 164 Jeremy Kauffman @jeremykauffman
just ask yourself:
do you really want to live in a world where every time someone kills a deranged, violent bum, they meet the President?

-
No. I want to live in a world where that would not be possible because so many deranged, violent bums are meeting their maker.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha! at December 15, 2024 03:34 PM (L/fGl)
***

Well, I'm thinking after the first hundred or so, the word would get out and voila! No more deranged violent bums.
Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 03:38 PM (W/lyH)

1 Many more leftists than a few hundred that are deranged and violent
2 Dumb as zombies in the movies

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:42 PM (SSBCb)

169 You're supposed to keep hard copies of your tax returns?
Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 15, 2024 02:06 PM (rU0z4)

The feds have two years (make it three because they are slow) to notify you of any "adjustment" they make to your taxes, and then the state upon being advised of the change made by the feds has two years (make it three because they are slow in communicating) to do the same. Then both the feds and the state will start trying to collect in earnest a couple of years after that, which means if you moved and didn't tell the federal and state tax authorities, they start trying to garnish you by sending letters to your old address. These letters, by the way, say "do not forward" so you are borked

anyhow, keep at least 4 or 8 years, of your records at the least, and I keep 10 years, and my heirs will burn my old tax returns themselves because I will keep them until I die, the THIEVING BASTARDS

Posted by: Kindltot at December 15, 2024 03:42 PM (D7oie)

170 Jeremy Kauffman @jeremykauffman
just ask yourself:
do you really want to live in a world where every time someone kills a deranged, violent bum, they meet the President?

-
No. I want to live in a world where that would not be possible because so many deranged, violent bums are meeting their maker.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Peppermint Mocha!

If he wasn't persecuted for it nobody would even know his name

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 15, 2024 03:43 PM (/lPRQ)

171 What are the chances a fast no tip or OT taxes will happen?

Posted by: Skip at December 15, 2024 03:43 PM (fwDg9)

172 157 Jeremy Kauffman @jeremykauffman
just ask yourself:
do you really want to live in a world where every time someone kills a deranged, violent bum, they meet the President?

---
I want to live in a world where we have common-sense bum control.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 15, 2024 03:43 PM (BpYfr)

173 Yeah, I was audited a few years back. IRS only required prior 3 years of financials.

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at December 15, 2024 03:44 PM (DsA2n)

174 1 Many more leftists than a few hundred that are deranged and violent
2 Dumb as zombies in the movies
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:42 PM (SSBCb)

So...we are back to Weasel's Rule #1.
Buy ammo.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 03:45 PM (W/lyH)

175 172 157 Jeremy Kauffman @jeremykauffman
just ask yourself:
do you really want to live in a world where every time someone kills a deranged, violent bum, they meet the President?

---
I want to live in a world where we have common-sense bum control.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 15, 2024 03:43 PM (BpYfr)

Including those in public office.
Amen.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:45 PM (SSBCb)

176
I say! I say! I say!

There's entirely rely too much beating off goin' on 'round hyah!

-- zombie Fritz Hollings

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 15, 2024 03:46 PM (xG4kz)

177 I thought business taxes are 7 years but never owned a business, just moved files occasionally.

Posted by: Skip at December 15, 2024 03:47 PM (fwDg9)

178 176
I say! I say! I say!

There's entirely rely too much beating off goin' on 'round hyah!

-- zombie Fritz Hollings
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 15, 2024 03:46 PM (xG4kz)

For some reason, I say, I heard that in Foghorn Leghorn's voice. LOL.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:48 PM (SSBCb)

179 Favorite IRS stories is where a guy is audited and the Govt owes him. Be more heartwarming with penalties and interest for the Govt.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:50 PM (SSBCb)

180 Milei will *not* be boycotting the inauguration. Hoping he brings his chainsaw and is given duty on the perimeter dealing with "protesters".
Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:45 PM (1m82a)
-----------

And shouts "Afuera!" every time he revs the chainsaw.
Posted by: bluebell at December 15, 2024 03:12 PM (79pEw)
====
Inshallah!

Posted by: San Franpsycho i at December 15, 2024 03:50 PM (RIvkX)

181 FWP - mowing the lawn year round. 70f today

Posted by: Hatari Somewhere on Ventura Highway at December 15, 2024 03:51 PM (WF/xn)

182 The irs recommends that you keep 3 years of tax records according to their website. We keep the last 7 just in case even though we don't need to keep them as we just do the straight 1040. We don't have enough deductions to file anything else at this point in our life.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at December 15, 2024 03:51 PM (Rcnd3)

183 180 Milei will *not* be boycotting the inauguration. Hoping he brings his chainsaw and is given duty on the perimeter dealing with "protesters".
Posted by: rhomboid at December 15, 2024 02:45 PM (1m82a)
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And shouts "Afuera!" every time he revs the chainsaw.
Posted by: bluebell at December 15, 2024 03:12 PM (79pEw)
====
Inshallah!
Posted by: San Franpsycho i at December 15, 2024 03:50 PM (RIvkX)

Milei-hu Akbar!

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:52 PM (SSBCb)

184 IRS can open tax returns for audit for three years from date of filing. If they find fraud, not mistake, in an opened return, they can keep going back three years from that return year.
Their interpretation of fraud can be quite loose. You missed a 1099. You did that on purpose you fraudster.

Posted by: From about That Time at December 15, 2024 03:53 PM (4780s)

185 For some reason, I say, I heard that in Foghorn Leghorn's voice. LOL.
Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:48 PM (SSBCb)

Same here.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 15, 2024 03:53 PM (W/lyH)

186 184 IRS can open tax returns for audit for three years from date of filing. If they find fraud, not mistake, in an opened return, they can keep going back three years from that return year.
Their interpretation of fraud can be quite loose. You missed a 1099. You did that on purpose you fraudster.
Posted by: From about That Time at December 15, 2024 03:53 PM (4780s)

Hunter Biden has it. Does his pardon cover that?

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:54 PM (SSBCb)

187 I hear a lot of things in Buford T Justice's voice.

You Sumbitch, I'm gonna BBQ yo ass in molasses !

Posted by: Hatari Somewhere on Ventura Highway at December 15, 2024 03:56 PM (WF/xn)

188 jim, I'm so sorry to see that you are still in the hospital. Any chance of you busting out of there any time soon?

Posted by: bluebell at December 15, 2024 03:56 PM (79pEw)

189 187 I hear a lot of things in Buford T Justice's voice.

You Sumbitch, I'm gonna BBQ yo ass in molasses !
Posted by: Hatari Somewhere on Ventura Highway at December 15, 2024 03:56 PM (WF/xn)

Joke paternal grandma told me:
What does a mole say when it runs into another underground?
Molasses!

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 03:58 PM (SSBCb)

190 188 jim, I'm so sorry to see that you are still in the hospital. Any chance of you busting out of there any time soon?
Posted by: bluebell at December 15, 2024 03:56 PM (79pEw)

Tuesday looks to be the day. They want to make sure stoma is working well. My red blood count finally stopped dropping and rose a point this morning.

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 04:00 PM (SSBCb)

191 Ooh, food Nood

Posted by: jim (in hospital in Kalifornia) at December 15, 2024 04:01 PM (SSBCb)

192 FOODIE NOODIE TIME

Posted by: Skip at December 15, 2024 04:01 PM (fwDg9)

193 FWP:

Too. Much. Stuff. In this house.

I need to rent a dumpster. Or move out & burn teh place down...

Posted by: JQ at December 15, 2024 04:02 PM (YoCnN)

194 FWIW, I am slowly digitizing all old financial records. But any financial records (aside from mortgage documentation) older than 7 years get shredded.

I have found Ricoh-Fujitisu commercial feed through office scanners excellent (now sold under the Scan Snap marketing name) and you can get older Windows 10 refubished model document scanners for a song that work about as well as current models. The refurb I got had the complete Scan Snap software on CD for Win 10. Most of that probably would not work in Windows 11 without a lot of effort.

Don't get one if you want to run Windows 11 as printer and document drivers are one of the biggest bugaboos in linux and Windows. It can usually be sorted out but often you lose functions or stability as a result.

E.g. Finally got an old imagescan combo Canon Printer, scanner, photocopier combo working in Windows 10 (driver was designed around Windows 7 and Vista).

Getting it to work was about a day's work going to obscure forums and downloading Win 10 drivers from another Canon's website for India (in English) if I remember correctly. Still took some piddling and twiddling to work to get all functions working.

Posted by: whig at December 15, 2024 04:10 PM (ctrM5)

195 do you really want to live in a world where every time someone kills a deranged, violent bum, they meet the President?

Unlike right now, when if I meet a violent deranged bum it is likely to BE the President...

Posted by: Way,Way Downriver at December 15, 2024 04:40 PM (zdLoL)

196 "Unlike right now, when if I meet a violent deranged bum it is likely to BE the President...
Posted by: Way,Way Downriver at December 15, 2024 04:40 PM (zdLoL)"
************
That's funny. Really effing sad, but funny.

Posted by: Cosda at December 15, 2024 05:00 PM (VFG+R)

197 C'mon, how far is far into the future when you're a crusty old dildo?

Posted by: Dr. Bone at December 15, 2024 07:49 PM (/MR36)

198 if you are keeping your tax returns for more than 3-5 years, then you are not following the maxim, "become ungovernable".

Posted by: Susan D Harms at December 16, 2024 08:55 AM (Kkd7F)

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