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Tulip Abuse Cafe

japanbackstreets.jpg
Chiba, Japan
by @saitoxdenki via #Japan_City_blues

Candid photography of a couple of bathing beauties.

HTML checker. I need one of those.

Little dog gets big air.

I would accept some ice cream if you gave some to me.

ICYMI: He got mixed up with a bad crowd.

This dog has ball-handling skills on par with David French. (Okay so I've used that one once or quice before.)


A nice walk.

Para-surfing in tulip fields.

Chase camera view of a world-record 954 foot ski jump.

The switchback trail (on the left) on this fjord is something.

Lake Como. So it's beautiful, but unfortunately, George Clooney has a house there, and I've heard that every taxi driver will tell you "You know, George Clooney lives near here," which would really ruin the trip for me.

Little kid helps another little kid get back to his mommy.

Happy belated Mothers Day! Here are some flowers!

Buddy Mercury, the musical beagle, on a world tour in the Netherlands.

Sound on -- for once, a good choice of background music.



The Democrat Party be like... YOLO!



Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 07:40 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Ace is the place

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 07:41 PM (AJDwy)

2 Dog sees Darth Vader.

https://shorturl.at/eivDN

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, I've Been Through the Desert On a Horse With No Shame at May 14, 2024 07:41 PM (L/fGl)

3 Good evening everyone

Posted by: Skip at May 14, 2024 07:41 PM (fwDg9)

4 Lake Lugano is nicer.

Posted by: jimmymcnulty at May 14, 2024 07:42 PM (G1DYU)

5 I could have been first but I was shivrin the guin.

Posted by: Barrel Facts at May 14, 2024 07:42 PM (vFG9F)

6 Now I want Cheddar Bay biscuits. And some lobster.

Posted by: Damn you, Darden Restaurants! Damn you to hell! at May 14, 2024 07:42 PM (Wc83a)

7 Ace, we wondered if Red Lobster closing would impact your dating life.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 07:42 PM (AJDwy)

8 Little doggie hasn't learned going through the mud puddle is way more fun

Posted by: Skip at May 14, 2024 07:43 PM (fwDg9)

9 I will have to say that Norway is one of the most beautiful places I have visited.

I don't get out much, though. Most of the time a family "vacation" consists of driving to desolate West Texas to visit hubby's family. Lots of mesquite trees and not much else.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas - Ace of Spades Ladies Brigade, plucky comic relief at May 14, 2024 07:44 PM (SRRAx)

10 You want bathing beauties? You want starlings. They turn a fresh bath into brown mud in 20 minutes. Fecal frenzy.
youtube.com/watch?v=QgiCg7XAKbA

Posted by: gp Decays To Plage at May 14, 2024 07:46 PM (MvF+J)

11 8 Little doggie hasn't learned going through the mud puddle is way more fun
Posted by: Skip at May 14, 2024 07:43 PM (fwDg9)

Nah, he just doesn't want mommy doggie to beat the piss out of him when he gets home for getting his coat dirty.

Posted by: Smart pupster at May 14, 2024 07:46 PM (Wc83a)

12 >>>7 Ace, we wondered if Red Lobster closing would impact your dating life.

Oh no! It's where I get my fried clam strips!!!

Posted by: ace spencer at May 14, 2024 07:47 PM (KRtlO)

13 > Lake Como. So it's beautiful, but unfortunately, George Clooney has a house there, and I've heard that every taxi driver will tell you "You know, George Clooney lives near here," which would really ruin the trip for me.

Natalie Portman got a nasty ear infection while swimming in Lake Como. Apparently there was an open sewer draining into the lake right where she was in the water. The local doctor was an idiot and was giving her cortisone shots. Portman told her dad, who is a doctor, about the treatment. Portman's dad had to insist on antibiotics, which cleared up the infection.

Posted by: bonhomme at May 14, 2024 07:48 PM (Odg76)

14 Swiss canyon looks cold AF.

Posted by: gp Decays To Plage at May 14, 2024 07:48 PM (MvF+J)

15 Dogs are not supposed to eat ice cream
Cats on other hand

Posted by: Skip at May 14, 2024 07:49 PM (fwDg9)

16 >>>Apparently there was an open sewer draining into the lake right where she was in the water.

Sorry about that, my bad

Posted by: Stormy "Sloppy" Daniels at May 14, 2024 07:49 PM (KRtlO)

17
Lake Como.

__________

Perry was such a great guy they named a lake after him.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 14, 2024 07:49 PM (MoZTd)

18 Go to Lake Lucerne insteas. Every bit as beautiful and it has the benefit of being in Switzerland.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2024 07:49 PM (LkLld)

19 Oh no! It's where I get my fried clam strips!!!

Posted by: ace spencer at May 14, 2024 07:47 PM (KRtlO

A poor euphemism, but effective visually.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 07:50 PM (AJDwy)

20 The Red Lobster will probably re-open as The Red Carp.

Posted by: Eromero at May 14, 2024 07:50 PM (ccse8)

21 I like the little flying dog, totally laid out like Superdog

Posted by: Don Black at May 14, 2024 07:51 PM (/7KEl)

22
Dogs are not supposed to eat ice cream

___________

?

Lacey always got a DQ cone after every show. When we have a litter of puppies, we have some cheap vanilla ice cream on hand for Mama to have an energy boost.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 14, 2024 07:51 PM (MoZTd)

23 The local doctor was an idiot and was giving her cortisone shots. Portman told her dad, who is a doctor, about the treatment. Portman's dad had to insist on antibiotics, which cleared up the infection.
Posted by: bonhomme

-

Wait, so doctors can question other doctors' treatment protocol in hopes of helping the patient? And was that FDA approved?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 07:51 PM (dF0kp)

24 re Guy cutting the rope:

Fucking stupid. Darwin's waiting room.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 14, 2024 07:51 PM (CmpAx)

25 You want bathing beauties? You want starlings. They turn a fresh bath into brown mud in 20 minutes. Fecal frenzy.

-

Backyard ducks have entered the chat

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 07:52 PM (dF0kp)

26 Apparently there are wild bulls on the beach at Los Cabos. If one of them approaches you, don't be this woman. Leave your things and move quietly and calmly away from the bull. Don't stand around trying to recover your things.

http://tiny.cc/0ky2yz

Posted by: bonhomme at May 14, 2024 07:53 PM (Odg76)

27 Although ducks, and especially baby ducks, eating is absolutely adorable.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 07:53 PM (dF0kp)

28 Best lakes are in the US.

Go see just about any lake in Montana

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 07:53 PM (AJDwy)

29 Thank you for the Cafe, ace. I hope you are well and aren't trying to interpret all your lab results on your own.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 14, 2024 07:54 PM (Ft2MX)

30 That cat HTML inspector is so adorable!
When I was 12 I fell off my bike at high speed, had multiple lacerations, rode back 5 miles and made it home for dinner.
2 nights ago I slept wrong and my back has been out ever since.

Posted by: gourmand du jour at May 14, 2024 07:54 PM (MeG8a)

31 Buddy Mercury rofl

Posted by: gp Decays To Plage at May 14, 2024 07:54 PM (MvF+J)

32 My streak of close jobs has ended, just to far side of county
Hope everyone has a great evening ahead

Posted by: Skip at May 14, 2024 07:54 PM (fwDg9)

33 Although ducks, and especially baby ducks, eating is absolutely adorable.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 07:53 PM (dF0kp)

———————-

Unless you’re being nibbled to death by those baby ducks.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 14, 2024 07:54 PM (u73oe)

34 Most of the time a family "vacation" consists of driving to desolate West Texas to visit hubby's family. Lots of mesquite trees and not much else.
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas - Ace of Spades Ladies Brigade, plucky comic relief at May 14, 2024 07:44 PM


Do you ever get out to the West Texas town of El Paso?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 14, 2024 07:55 PM (a3Q+t)

35 >>Lacey always got a DQ cone after every show. When we have a litter of puppies, we have some cheap vanilla ice cream on hand for Mama to have an energy boost.

We used to stop at a soft serve ice cream place almost every weekend with my old Golden. They had his special cone ready for him. That dog ate a lot of ice cream.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2024 07:55 PM (LkLld)

36 Apparently there are wild bulls on the beach at Los Cabos. If one of them approaches you, don't be this woman. Leave your things and move quietly and calmly away from the bull. Don't stand around trying to recover your things.

http://tiny.cc/0ky2yz

--

People have grown up in such safe and comfortable conditions that they can't grasp that wild areas are not Disneyworld with staff in underground tunnels ready to pick up trash or staff the Icee machine.

I remember reading recently about a little kid falling off a 1000 or so foot drop because his parents were letting him climb on the railing that was literally designed to prevent people from falling to their death.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 07:56 PM (dF0kp)

37 > Do you ever get out to the West Texas town of El Paso?

Chihuahua Norte?

Posted by: bonhomme at May 14, 2024 07:56 PM (Odg76)

38 Evenin’, All. Sorry I missed Cadaver Synod Art Thread.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 07:57 PM (XY8T8)

39 That little puddle jumper is quite the athlete.

Posted by: Paco at May 14, 2024 07:58 PM (njExo)

40 I saw Tulip Abuse open for Sigur Rós at Madison Square Garden in '99.

https://youtu.be/5h-UEJQWhW8

Posted by: mikeski makes bilingual jokes in Icelandic at May 14, 2024 07:58 PM (DgGvY)

41
Sorry I missed Cadaver Synod Art Thread.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 07:57 PM (XY8T

________

This is Trump's future.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 14, 2024 07:58 PM (MoZTd)

42 Go see just about any lake in Montana
Posted by: AlaBAMA
---
Agreed.

also these lakes in north Idaho: Pend Oreille and Coeur d'Alene

But I still have Como on my list.

Posted by: screaming in digital at May 14, 2024 07:59 PM (xQ/4D)

43 Evenin’, All. Sorry I missed Cadaver Synod Art Thread.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus

So you're going to make us dig it up again?

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 14, 2024 07:59 PM (bo8oh)

44 I'm not sure why there's a baby duck in an accounting class, but here's an adorable video of a duckling trying to stay awake on a desk.

I would say watch with the sound off because the woman teacher is like something from Pink Floyd's the Wall in the background, but then you wouldn't hear that he chirps each time he catches himself nodding off.

https://tinyurl.com/lmrlu8v

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 08:01 PM (dF0kp)

45 > also these lakes in north Idaho: Pend Oreille and Coeur d'Alene

I learned to water ski on Coeur d'Alene in the early 90s. The lake was absolutely gorgeous and mostly undeveloped. I don't know what it looks like now. Hopefully it's still beautiful.

Posted by: bonhomme at May 14, 2024 08:01 PM (Odg76)

46 Ace is the place
Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 07:41 PM


Ace is the way we are feeling.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 14, 2024 08:02 PM (Wnv9h)

47 So you're going to make us dig it up again?
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 14, 2024 07:59 PM


Third time's the charm.

Posted by: zombie Formosus at May 14, 2024 08:03 PM (a3Q+t)

48 Ace is the place for the hopeful hardware scare

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 08:03 PM (dF0kp)

49 I'm not sure why there's a baby duck in an accounting class, but here's an adorable video of a duckling trying to stay awake on a desk.

I would say watch with the sound off because the woman teacher is like something from Pink Floyd's the Wall in the background, but then you wouldn't hear that he chirps each time he catches himself nodding off.

https://tinyurl.com/lmrlu8v
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 08:01 PM


I can totally identify with that duck today.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 14, 2024 08:04 PM (Wnv9h)

50 So, we’re down here in Blacksburg to move our son home from college (for the last time!). We go out to eat with him, and what does he order? Shrimp and grits! Cheesy grits at that. He said it was really good, and it looked like it was.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:06 PM (XY8T8)

51 So you're going to make us dig it up again?
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 14, 2024 07:59 PM

Third time's the charm.
Posted by: zombie Formosus

It is a bit trying though...

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 14, 2024 08:07 PM (bo8oh)

52
So, we’re down here in Blacksburg to move our son home from college (for the last time!).

_________

Virginia Tech? Passed through Blacksburg many times, either going up to the NE or to one of my company's plants in Narrows.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 14, 2024 08:08 PM (MoZTd)

53 It is a bit trying though...
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 14, 2024 08:07 PM


Sí. *nod*

Posted by: Obi Juan Sonobi at May 14, 2024 08:09 PM (a3Q+t)

54 I hear that Ace brand shelving carries a warning label from the Consumer Products Safety Commission.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:09 PM (XY8T8)

55
So you're going to make us dig it up again?
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron

_________

We call a spade a spade around here.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 14, 2024 08:09 PM (MoZTd)

56 52 Yes, Hadrian. VT.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:10 PM (XY8T8)

57 I learned to water ski on Coeur d'Alene in the early 90s. The lake was absolutely gorgeous and mostly undeveloped. I don't know what it looks like now. Hopefully it's still beautiful.
Posted by: bonhomme
---
I thought so when I was there in 2018. I hiked all over Tubbs Hill and took a lake cruise.

I visited Pend Oreille briefly in 2018. I was there on a cloudy day and it was beautiful and ethereal, but I was obsessed with going there again and maybe getting some sunny weather. I went back again in 2021 and was blessed with brilliant blue skies for hiking at Farragut State Park and then a lake cruise with J.

Posted by: screaming in digital at May 14, 2024 08:10 PM (xQ/4D)

58 54 I hear that Ace brand shelving carries a warning label from the Consumer Products Safety Commission.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:09 PM (XY8T8

Decorative only. Not for actual storage.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 08:10 PM (AJDwy)

59 Thank you for the Cafe, ace. I hope you are well and aren't trying to interpret all your lab results on your own.
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 14, 2024 07:54 PM


TBF, Ace posts many of his lab results and cat scans in the Café for interpretation by The Horde.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 14, 2024 08:12 PM (a3Q+t)

60 does biden stink? depends. ha.

Posted by: gnats local 678 at May 14, 2024 08:12 PM (B1FKF)

61 So just saw that quick ad for Missouri SoS candidate Valentina Gomez, and well I think she'd make a great AoS honorary president.

Posted by: Rbastid at May 14, 2024 08:12 PM (v527d)

62 Way past time to stop funding the UN. How are they any different from terrorists?

https://tinyurl.com/3mukpm4s

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2024 08:15 PM (LkLld)

63 Nurse, how are you feeling?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:16 PM (XY8T8)

64 eagle has got the AhhWoo blues.

Posted by: DaveA at May 14, 2024 08:16 PM (FhXTo)

65 re 61: reminds me of the icarly star

Posted by: gnats local 678 at May 14, 2024 08:18 PM (B1FKF)

66 Lake Como >>>>>>> Lake Cuomo

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:18 PM (XY8T8)

67 65 Miranda Cosgrove

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:19 PM (XY8T8)

68 to stop funding the UN. How are they any different from terrorists?

Fewer steps on the Our tax dollars to our enemies grift express?

Occasionally slightly better hygiene?

IDK?

Posted by: DaveA at May 14, 2024 08:19 PM (FhXTo)

69 TBF, Ace posts many of his lab results and cat scans in the Café for interpretation by The Horde.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 14, 2024 08:12 PM (a3Q+t)

———————-

His LDL is 205? C’mon Ace, those are rookie numbers! Gotta pump those up.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 14, 2024 08:20 PM (u73oe)

70 the winner of the Sporting Group is the Black cocker spaniel!
Yes!

Posted by: redridinghood at May 14, 2024 08:20 PM (NpAcC)

71 re 61: oh my. goes to nbc news

https://tinyurl.com/yjtuzu8p

Posted by: gnats local 678 at May 14, 2024 08:20 PM (B1FKF)

72 >>>don’t raise the roof, jump over it

Did he have the GoPro attached to his pecker?

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 14, 2024 08:20 PM (klJTj)

73 Working Dogs are up next.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 14, 2024 08:22 PM (NpAcC)

74 Getting scrappy in the Bos/Fla game.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 14, 2024 08:22 PM (u73oe)

75 It will be nice to retire and not have to deal with crazy customers.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at May 14, 2024 08:23 PM (yeEu9)

76 Bitch best have my money!

Posted by: Black Cocker Spaniel at May 14, 2024 08:24 PM (u73oe)

77 My first dog growing up was a black cocker spaniel.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:26 PM (XY8T8)

78 24
'Fucking stupid. Darwin's waiting room.'

I hope there's video when his day arrives.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at May 14, 2024 08:27 PM (roH4R)

79 Some very ominous shit is building rapidly on the Egypt/Gaza border. Egypt is moving into full mobilization and surging large numbers of troops to the border, while broadcasting extremely hostile anti-Israel messages to their populace.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 14, 2024 08:27 PM (S6gqv)

80 >>>44 I'm not sure why there's a baby duck in an accounting class, but here's an adorable video of a duckling trying to stay awake on a desk.

It's a trained Emotional Support Animal.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 14, 2024 08:27 PM (klJTj)

81 Lake Como. So it's beautiful, but unfortunately, George Clooney has a house there, and I've heard that every taxi driver will tell you "You know, George Clooney lives near here," which would really ruin the trip for me.


==

there is another problem..it's a lake, confined, still body of water surrounded by dry land

Posted by: runner at May 14, 2024 08:28 PM (V13WU)

82 Jim Justice wins republican nom for senator in WVA.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 14, 2024 08:28 PM (u73oe)

83 Some very ominous shit is building rapidly on the Egypt/Gaza border. Egypt is moving into full mobilization and surging large numbers of troops to the border, while broadcasting extremely hostile anti-Israel messages to their populace.
Posted by: Tom Servo at May 14, 2024 08:27 PM (S6gqv)

Nice Sphinx you have there. Pity if something were to happen to it.

Posted by: Israel at May 14, 2024 08:30 PM (masDJ)

84 27

'especially baby ducks, eating is absolutely adorable.'

I wait until they're grown before eating them. To each his own.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at May 14, 2024 08:30 PM (roH4R)

85 My first dog growing up was a black cocker spaniel.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:26 PM (XY8T
******
My first one was a buff, but I've owned a.black.
I now own 2 parti cockers. 1 blk and white the other a blue roan.

Cockers are the best!

Posted by: redridinghood at May 14, 2024 08:31 PM (NpAcC)

86 20
'The Red Carp'

Hahaha!
Maybe The Red Crawdad.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at May 14, 2024 08:34 PM (roH4R)

87 Who’s up for Jaeger shots!?!

Posted by: Party Cocker at May 14, 2024 08:34 PM (u73oe)

88 85 The black cocker never liked me. My family had had him since before I was born, and then I came along and got all the attention. He never bit me, but he did growl every time I pet him.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:35 PM (XY8T8)

89
Lake Como. So it's beautiful, but unfortunately, George Clooney has a house there, and I've heard that every taxi driver will tell you "You know, George Clooney lives near here," which would really ruin the trip for me.

==============

Response: "Yes, I hear a got a local girl pregnant and then married that British woman."

Posted by: Blonde Morticia's office at May 14, 2024 08:36 PM (T3es0)

90 "Maybe The Red Crawdad.
Posted by: Dr. Claw "

The Red Gargon

Posted by: A Teenager From Outer Space at May 14, 2024 08:36 PM (vFG9F)

91 The Red Shoes. Mmmmmm, that beautiful ginger.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:38 PM (XY8T8)

92 Posted by: Tom Servo at May 14, 2024 08:27 PM (S6gqv)

Who is reporting that?

Posted by: polynikes at May 14, 2024 08:38 PM (inGXk)

93 Those tulip fields have incredible colors.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 14, 2024 08:40 PM (RIvkX)

94 Of course Red Lobster died. It’s right there in the name.

Posted by: Red Shirt Guy at May 14, 2024 08:41 PM (u73oe)

95 I'm not sure why there's a baby duck in an accounting class, but here's an adorable video of a duckling trying to stay awake on a desk.

It's a trained Emotional Support Animal.
Posted by: Anon Y. Mous


It's a living, but it's not all it's quacked up to be.

Posted by: emotional support duck at May 14, 2024 08:43 PM (DgGvY)

96 Red Lobster is no moar ???

Posted by: runner at May 14, 2024 08:43 PM (V13WU)

97 I saw Luke Cuomo when he was front man for the Weston Lombards.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 14, 2024 08:43 PM (D7oie)

98 18 Go to Lake Lucerne insteas. Every bit as beautiful and it has the benefit of being in Switzerland.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2024 07:49 PM (LkLld)
----
So everything will cost double what it would in Italy.

Posted by: Ciampino - booby-trapped korans for the win?.. at May 14, 2024 08:43 PM (qfLjt)

99 who killed Red Lobster ??

Posted by: runner at May 14, 2024 08:43 PM (V13WU)

100 I remember when cars had more ashtrays than seat belts.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 14, 2024 08:44 PM (XV/Pl)

101 I don't know how jurors can avoid seeing headlines like this when they automatically pop up on your phone?

Just now-
Reuters- "Trump’s attacks on his trial judges trigger widespread calls for violence"

This is BS, but it's meant to influence the jury and voters

Posted by: redridinghood at May 14, 2024 08:44 PM (NpAcC)

102 Lake Como has a sister city in Lake Como, NJ.

Posted by: IrishEi at May 14, 2024 08:45 PM (3ImbR)

103 That picture is of a Love Hotel.

Posted by: AshevilleRobert at May 14, 2024 08:46 PM (fv27Y)

104 >>So everything will cost double what it would in Italy.

George Clooney isn't slumming.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2024 08:46 PM (LkLld)

105 Can one get scrod at the Red Lobster?
--
Two old retired English teachers ...... are riding the train into town, and Annabelle asks Gertrude if she does goes into town often.

The Gertrude replies, "Why yes. I have gone into the fish market once a week to get scrod."

Annabelle pauses for a minute, and remarks, "I never knew that *that* was the past perfect tense!"

Posted by: Ciampino - booby-trapped korans for the win?. at May 14, 2024 08:46 PM (qfLjt)

106 Wonder how many bodies have been dumped in Lake Como, NJ.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:47 PM (XY8T8)

107 99 who killed Red Lobster ??
Posted by: runner at May 14, 2024 08:43 PM (V13WU


Joe Fuckin Biden

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 08:48 PM (AJDwy)

108 105
Apologies for the bad English/grammar - I posted the unedited copy.

Posted by: Ciampino - booby-trapped korans for the win?!! at May 14, 2024 08:49 PM (qfLjt)

109 105 There’s a reason men have a scrodum.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:50 PM (XY8T8)

110 >>Michael Cohen’s ex-lawyer to nuke Cohen's tale before Congress: ‘Habitual liar, totally unreliable’

>>A former federal prosecutor, Robert Costello's testimony and contemporaneous documents directly conflict with Alvin Bragg's case against Trump.

https://tinyurl.com/yve4rhb8

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2024 08:50 PM (LkLld)

111
Joe Fuckin Biden
Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 08:48 PM (AJDwy)

but of course

Posted by: runner at May 14, 2024 08:51 PM (V13WU)

112 who killed Red Lobster ??

-

I assume the BEST ECONOMY EVER JACK

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 08:51 PM (dF0kp)

113 It's amazing to me that the Democrats best efforts to get Trump involve the most unreliable sleezebags making up stories.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 08:52 PM (AJDwy)

114 Just now-
Reuters- "Trump’s attacks on his trial judges trigger widespread calls for violence"

--

That's unfair to Biden to post clickbait articles during election season, reuters.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 08:53 PM (dF0kp)

115
who killed Red Lobster ??
Posted by: runner


Colonel Tartarsauce in the kitchen.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 14, 2024 08:53 PM (63Dwl)

116 I haven't been in five to seven years or so, but I remember thinking the last time I went that everything tasted the same. I don't mean the catfish tasted like the flounder. I mean the shrimp tasted like the fish tasted like the whatever else. That's not a good thing for any seafood restaurant, but especially one that's essentially a step above the Golden Corral.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 08:57 PM (dF0kp)

117 I don't know how jurors can avoid seeing headlines like this when they automatically pop up on your phone?

Just now-
Reuters- "Trump’s attacks on his trial judges trigger widespread calls for violence"

This is BS, but it's meant to influence the jury and voters
Posted by: redridinghood
==================

CNN on the TV in the jury room.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 14, 2024 08:58 PM (cOq4q)

118 Posted by: Obi Juan Sonobi at May 14, 2024 08:09 PM

*golf clap*

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 14, 2024 08:58 PM (Wnv9h)

119 I cannot even begin to fathom the depravity of FJB to dare and try to "TRUMP" his non-existent ECONOMIC LARGESS that he boldly states is all his doing on his limited campaign stops.

Yes Joe, the economy is booming in the boxes of "Adult Depends" your staff is purchasing every week.

Posted by: Nightwatch at May 14, 2024 08:59 PM (TDvv2)

120 77 My first dog growing up was a black cocker spaniel.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 08:26 PM (XY8T
Champion Dog Prince Tom, though I believe he was a blonde or champagne.

Posted by: Eromero at May 14, 2024 08:59 PM (NxC5+)

121 Didn’t Red Lobster recently have some kind of give-away/promotion that backfired bigly?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 09:00 PM (XY8T8)

122 I, for one, am grateful we have the FBI to keep dangerous groups like the Michigan Wolverine Beer and Bowling Club from kidnapping our beloved public servants.

Posted by: Ripley at May 14, 2024 09:00 PM (PTDkx)

123 who killed Red Lobster ??
Posted by: runner at May 14, 2024 08:43 PM


*shifty eye stalks*

Posted by: Rock Lobster at May 14, 2024 09:00 PM (Wnv9h)

124 Biden's lies are too bold for even his sycophants and paid shills to carry.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 09:00 PM (AJDwy)

125 That's not a good thing for any seafood restaurant, but especially one that's essentially a step above the Golden Corral.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 08:57 PM (dF0kp)
GC here is better than Red Lobster, as fas as fish goes, broiled or fried.

Posted by: Eromero at May 14, 2024 09:02 PM (NxC5+)

126 Lake Como is truly all that but after a while the Italians can get on your nerves.

I found a really nice place in Switzerland to get away from the monster buzz, Brienz, on Lake Brienz.

You can actually walk around and not be run over or yelled at every five minutes.

Posted by: pawn at May 14, 2024 09:03 PM (QB+5g)

127 Didn’t Red Lobster recently have some kind of give-away/promotion that backfired bigly?
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 09:00 PM (XY8T

—————-

Execs at Red Lobster said that all you can eat shrimp lost millions.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 14, 2024 09:04 PM (u73oe)

128 New Tennessee law allows for death penalty for child rapists.


Let's hope the rest of the world follows suit.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at May 14, 2024 09:04 PM (AJDwy)

129 The CBC feed of the game tonight just went kablooie ...

I'm left with the execrable ESSPN broadcast.

Oh Noes ...

Posted by: browndog bemoaning his fate at May 14, 2024 09:05 PM (TTAGa)

130 New Tennessee law allows for death penalty for child rapists.

Let's hope the rest of the world follows suit.


Requires would have been better, but at least they're not just dumping them back on the streets.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at May 14, 2024 09:06 PM (dZVON)

131 Living on the lake
I sometimes see a snake.
Turtles by battalion
but never an Italian.

Posted by: Eromero at May 14, 2024 09:06 PM (NxC5+)

132 >>A former federal prosecutor, Robert Costello's testimony and contemporaneous documents directly conflict with Alvin Bragg's case against Trump.

https://tinyurl.com/yve4rhb8
Posted by: JackStraw
--------------

This is the Grits n Butter of NJ hour, bring it tonight.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 14, 2024 09:07 PM (lCWOD)

133 Execs at Red Lobster said that all you can eat shrimp lost millions.

-

We'll make it up in volume!
- Red Lobster executives that will soon be in charge of U.S. monetary policy

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 09:09 PM (dF0kp)

134 Didn’t Red Lobster recently have some kind of give-away/promotion that backfired bigly?
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus

Probably the "Crabs for Everyone!!" promotion.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 14, 2024 09:10 PM (NReIw)

135 New Tennessee law allows for death penalty for child rapists.

-

Cries of it disproportionately affecting gays all while avoiding the "why" of that complaint in 3... 2...

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Don't be too sad, Steve Buscemi donated his acting talent to elect Biden at May 14, 2024 09:11 PM (dF0kp)

136 Here in Commiefornia

The slaughter of small businesses continue with Gruesome's mandatory min. wage hike... But wait.....

The Marxist/commie unions in some places are already beating the drums for an increase to 25 DALLARS per hour.

YEAH??? Keep voting Democrate ya drug idled nitwits'

98 BILLION for a bullet train to nowhere (Where's at least a mile of track?)

20 Billion seemingly......uhm.....lost? for the homeless situation which this year is worse than last year.
If you have the where with all and a U-HAUL with a full tank of gas (and be ready cuz they want to add an additional 50 cent surcharge soon)

GET THE FUCK OUT OF DODGE!!!

Posted by: Nightwatch at May 14, 2024 09:12 PM (TDvv2)

137 New Tennessee law allows for death penalty for child rapists.

This place just gets better and better.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 14, 2024 09:13 PM (NReIw)

138 55
So you're going to make us dig it up again?
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron

_________

We call a spade a spade around here.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 14, 2024 08:09 PM (MoZTd)
----
Punchline only:
"No Mother Superior, they call a spade a fucking shovel!"

Posted by: Ciampino - Legends of the Fall at May 14, 2024 09:14 PM (qfLjt)

139 Ahh...Lake Como where il duce met his end but not his fate.

Posted by: Outside of Life at May 14, 2024 09:15 PM (89Sog)

140 But do we call an O’Spade Ace, Chuy, or Lamont the Big Dummy?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 09:17 PM (XY8T8)

141 The winner of the Working Group is the Giant Schnauzer.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 14, 2024 09:19 PM (NpAcC)

142 The winner of the Working Group is the Giant Schnauzer.
Posted by: redridinghood at May 14, 2024 09:19 PM (NpAcC)

Don't do that, lady. It'll burn like Hell!

Posted by: Just the Punchline at May 14, 2024 09:21 PM (JrPVg)

143 Next up is the Terrier Group.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 14, 2024 09:21 PM (NpAcC)

144 >>> 26 Apparently there are wild bulls on the beach at Los Cabos. If one of them approaches you, don't be this woman. Leave your things and move quietly and calmly away from the bull. Don't stand around trying to recover your things.

http://tiny.cc/0ky2yz
Posted by: bonhomme at May 14, 2024 07:53 PM (Odg76)

Bull! Why are you eating my stuff bull?! That's not food, bull! Why are AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

*splat*

Posted by: Kayak Karen, International Woman of Dumb at May 14, 2024 09:22 PM (llON8)

145 Two retired English teachers, Anabelle and Gertrude, were riding the train back to Boston from a vacation down on the Cape. Anabelle asked Gertrude if she went to the cape much when she was in college.

"Oh, yes," Gertrude replied, we would go on the Cape regularly if the weather and time permitted, but for a treat we would go to Falmouth and get scrod."

There was a lengthy pause, and Anabelle seemed to be working herself up to a comment, when Gertrude stated in an impatient tone of voice, "For God's sake, Anabelle, Scrod is a type of fish, not some sly play on words," She sat back with a straight back and small, ladylike snort, saying, "Anyways, North Andover was closer"

(this is subverting expectations)

Posted by: Kindltot at May 14, 2024 09:22 PM (D7oie)

146 141 Boy, do I have them fooled.
— Layabout, welfare-collecting giant schnauzer

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 09:22 PM (XY8T8)

147
But do we call an O’Spade Ace, Chuy, or Lamont the Big Dummy?
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus

__________

Monsieur le Comte As de Pique

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 14, 2024 09:23 PM (MoZTd)

148 I remember in 2008 when the majority of Californians voted that marriage was legally between an MAN & A WOMAN.

The Marxist/Commies took care of that with their useful idiot GHEYS.

Posted by: Nightwatch at May 14, 2024 09:23 PM (TDvv2)

149 147 What is the Monsieur de Comte’s ass piqued about?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 09:24 PM (XY8T8)

150 8 Minutes of Baby Goats
https://shorturl.at/fkALP

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at May 14, 2024 09:26 PM (llON8)

151 Babylon Bee:
"College Students Announce Indefinite Hunger Strike For Palestine Between 10 AM And Noon And Also Between 1 PM and 5 PM Every Day Except For Some Light Snacking"

Babylon Bee CEO:
@SethDillon
A fact checker from Reuters has reached out to us for comment on this "potentially misleading claim" circulating online.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 14, 2024 09:28 PM (IG4Id)

152 99 who killed Red Lobster ??
Posted by: runner at May 14, 2024 08:43 PM (V13WU)

You say that like it's a bad thing

Posted by: jsg at May 14, 2024 09:28 PM (YYNMa)

153 I will throw down that the title for this site was drawn from a favorite ROCK NUMBER by one of the original Metal Bands that the host may have enjoyed....

Posted by: Nightwatch at May 14, 2024 09:29 PM (TDvv2)

154 abylon Bee:
"College Students Announce Indefinite Hunger Strike For Palestine Between 10 AM And Noon And Also Between 1 PM and 5 PM Every Day Except For Some Light Snacking"

Babylon Bee CEO:
@SethDillon
A fact checker from Reuters has reached out to us for comment on this "potentially misleading claim" circulating online.

==

Reuters fact checker needs daily injections of humor into xhers arse.

Posted by: runner at May 14, 2024 09:30 PM (V13WU)

155 You say that like it's a bad thing
Posted by: jsg at May 14, 2024 09:28 PM (YYNMa)

well yeah, today Red Lobster, tomorrow - Olive Garden...it's an avalanche of bad news !

Posted by: runner at May 14, 2024 09:30 PM (V13WU)

156 153 I will throw down that the title for this site was drawn from a favorite ROCK NUMBER by one of the original Metal Bands that the host may have enjoyed....

Posted by: Nightwatch at May 14, 2024 09:29 PM (TDvv2)

Would have better if you started that with....Lemmy guess

Posted by: jsg at May 14, 2024 09:34 PM (YYNMa)

157 Execs at Red Lobster said that all you can eat shrimp lost millions.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 14, 2024 09:04 PM

-----------------------

True, but that was/is just one of their problems. The company that currently owns them is in the seafood supply business but doesn't have a clue about the restaurant business. They finally figured that out and are doing a Chapter 11 to spruce things up for a sale.

Posted by: Bigsmith at May 14, 2024 09:35 PM (WK9Yd)

158 Ever notice how TV people are always showing their teeth?
They are either smiling, one must practice maintaining a constant smile while talking, or growling. Growling must be practiced also, unless you are Italian, it's cultural to show their bottom teeth.


https://www.youtube.com/shorts/SbWZ0rQ_AuM

Posted by: Braenyard at May 14, 2024 09:35 PM (lCWOD)

159 I know one weird trick that will stop this:

@realmuckraker
Muckraker Exposes Chinese Illegal Alien Black Market Employment Scheme - A SIMILAR SCHEME WAS LIKELY USED BY LAKEN RILEY'S KILLER

Muckraker has obtained exclusive interviews with Chinese illegal aliens who are fraudulently driving for
@UberEats and @DoorDash.

The illegals rent an account from a legitimate driver and take 85% of the profit. The remaining 15% goes to the account owner.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 14, 2024 09:35 PM (IG4Id)

160 Looks like a tranny is going to play in the women’s US Open. It’s currently the number one alternate.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 14, 2024 09:39 PM (u73oe)

161 99 who killed Red Lobster ??
Posted by: runner at May 14, 2024 08:43 PM (V13WU)

You say that like it's a bad thing
Posted by: jsg at May 14, 2024 09:28 PM (YYNMa)
Don't look at me. I killed Cock Robin.
-J.Sparrow

Posted by: Eromero at May 14, 2024 09:40 PM (NxC5+)

162
The company that currently owns them is in the seafood supply business but doesn't have a clue about the restaurant business.

__________

"Seafood is a widget is software." - the MBAs

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 14, 2024 09:41 PM (MoZTd)

163 Muckraker has obtained exclusive interviews with Chinese illegal aliens who are fraudulently driving for
@UberEats and @DoorDash.

The illegals rent an account from a legitimate driver and take 85% of the profit. The remaining 15% goes to the account owner.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 14, 2024 09:35 PM (IG4Id)

What happened in the case where that black woman Uber driver was shot dead by a guy being extorted when she (unwittingly ???) went to pick the envelope with his cash? One would think that is she were just an unwitting patsy for the extortion gang that Uber should have a record of who called her from number, and when.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 14, 2024 09:42 PM (JrPVg)

164 Note about Trump.

We are his outer bodyguard. At a Trump rally prior to the 2016 election, I decided that I would take a bullet for him.

Nothing has changed. If all the Honor Guard bikers show up at the Milwaukee GOP convention, he would be safe.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2024 09:44 PM (u82oZ)

165 162
The company that currently owns them is in the seafood supply business but doesn't have a clue about the restaurant business.

__________

"Seafood is a widget is software." - the MBAs
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 14, 2024 09:41 PM (MoZ
Know what this means to Larry Lobster when they turn out the lights? He's got to walk back to Maine. Backwards.

Posted by: Eromero at May 14, 2024 09:44 PM (NxC5+)

166 I am going to Japan and seeing more than the airport, darn it!

Posted by: Piper at May 14, 2024 09:45 PM (p4NUW)

167 Looks like a tranny is going to play in the women’s US Open. It’s currently the number one alternate.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 14, 2024 09:39 PM (u73oe)

Crowd should make a big racket whenever it tries to make a shot.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 14, 2024 09:45 PM (JrPVg)

168 I have never been to Red Lobster and I am truly okay with that.

Posted by: Piper at May 14, 2024 09:48 PM (p4NUW)

169 164 Note about Trump.

We are his outer bodyguard. At a Trump rally prior to the 2016 election, I decided that I would take a bullet for him.

Nothing has changed. If all the Honor Guard bikers show up at the Milwaukee GOP convention, he would be safe.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 14, 2024 09:44 PM (u82oZ)
I lift a vodka to you, Shipmate!

Posted by: Eromero at May 14, 2024 09:48 PM (NxC5+)

170 167 Looks like a tranny is going to play in the women’s US Open. It’s currently the number one alternate.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 14, 2024 09:39 PM (u73oe)

Crowd should make a big racket whenever it tries to make a shot.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 14, 2024 09:45 PM (JrPVg)
----
Or string him along.

Posted by: Ciampino - Get a grip on yourself at May 14, 2024 09:50 PM (qfLjt)

171 Boston survives.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 14, 2024 09:50 PM (u73oe)

172 I have never been to Red Lobster and I am truly okay with that.
Posted by: Piper at May 14, 2024 09:48 PM (p4NUW)


My wife likes it because it is the one place she can be guaranteed to get crab. I was OK with it for a lunch when I had to talk with someone because it is quiet. Dad liked it because it was classier than Applebees.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 14, 2024 09:52 PM (D7oie)

173 ...Crowd should make a big racket whenever it tries to make a shot. Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 14, 2024 09:45 PM (JrPVg)


Compressed Air Cannister type Air Horns.

Referee's Whistles.

Two hundred pairs of Castanets.

Amplified recordings of many Crying Babies.

Amplified recordings of Cankles speeches and Kumala's Cackles.

Finally, give "it" the offer of a pistol and one cartridge, and the chance to Do The Right Thing.


Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at May 14, 2024 09:52 PM (e6UQI)

174 173
Shout 'Fore' as it is about to serve.

Vuvuzelas

Posted by: Ciampino - Get a grip on yourself! at May 14, 2024 09:55 PM (qfLjt)

175 One of the first trannies I remember from the news was that tennis player in the 70s. Renee Richards?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 09:55 PM (iu0dJ)

176 172 liked it because it was classier than Applebees.
Posted by: Kindltot at May 14, 2024

Been to Applebees more than I care to admit, most times out of necessity. I haven’t in a long time, we are blessed with great local places here and I dint travel like I used to do.

Posted by: Piper at May 14, 2024 09:57 PM (p4NUW)

177 Note about Trump.
We are his outer bodyguard. At a Trump rally prior to the 2016 election, I decided that I would take a bullet for him.
Nothing has changed. If all the Honor Guard bikers show up at the Milwaukee GOP convention, he would be safe.
Posted by: NaCly Dog
-----
I lift a vodka to you, Shipmate!
Posted by: Eromero
-----
I am the whisper in the dark, the shadow unseen, the thing you thought made the bump in the night. Unseen, unnoticed. Inside the enemy perimeter. Creating nightmares for generations in the future.

Posted by: BifBewalski at May 14, 2024 09:58 PM (MsrgL)

178 NOOD
ONT
Buck Throckmorton


... that doesn't rhyme, at all

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at May 14, 2024 09:59 PM (llON8)

179 U nas yest’ NOOD.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 14, 2024 09:59 PM (iu0dJ)

180 62 Way past time to stop funding the UN. How are they any different from terrorists?

https://tinyurl.com/3mukpm4s
Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2024 08:15 PM (LkLld)

Kick them out of the U.S. they got a nice HQ in Geneva they can use.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at May 14, 2024 10:00 PM (84PaW)

181 Amplified recordings of many Crying Babies.

Amplified recordings of Cankles speeches and Kumala's Cackles.

Finally, give "it" the offer of a pistol and one cartridge, and the chance to Do The Right Thing.


Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim at May 14, 2024 09:52 PM (e6UQI)

Sound of fly zippers going up and down repeatedly.

Loud child's voice: "Look, Ma a faggot!"

Even louder Mom voice: "No, junior, not a faggot. A tranny. That's even worse!"

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 14, 2024 10:07 PM (JrPVg)

182
All President Trump has to do is wait until Biden loses his thread, whip out a pair of joke shop glasses complete with plastic nose and brush mustache, don it, and Biden will be demolished.

Posted by: Speller at May 16, 2024 01:00 PM (pSotA)

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