Animal Spazmoids Cafe

Unknown location and photographer

The running of the penguins.

Don't let go! If you fall, you have no possible means of saving yourself!

Learning together.

The cat's name is Swayze.

Nat 20'd on his Detect Traps roll.

Some real speed in these dog hurdle races, but the last dog one-hops it between the hurdles.

This is how pandas clean their houses..🐼😂 pic.twitter.com/P3BzZ7qxRF
— 𝕐o̴g̴ (@Yoda4ever) January 4, 2024

Kitty got moves..🐈🐾🕺😅 pic.twitter.com/YQXRgpyqcr
— 𝕐o̴g̴ (@Yoda4ever) January 4, 2024

Good boy helping with orange harvesting..🐕🍊😍 pic.twitter.com/3cZgREdg1x
— 𝕐o̴g̴ (@Yoda4ever) January 4, 2024

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:

Priorities..🐶😅 pic.twitter.com/uNUygUI0PH
— 𝕐o̴g̴ (@Yoda4ever) January 4, 2024

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 07:44 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Good evening everyone

Posted by: Skip at January 04, 2024 07:45 PM (GX5ui)

2 Yeet!

Posted by: nurse ratched at January 04, 2024 07:45 PM (U5n2r)

3 And still, not a sea otter to be found. How did I disappoint you, ace?

Posted by: nurse ratched at January 04, 2024 07:46 PM (U5n2r)

4 A penguin cafe needs its orchestra.

https://youtu.be/FhIguI99BDo

Posted by: mikeski at January 04, 2024 07:49 PM (DgGvY)

5 My Tiny looks just like that Swayze cat, and he pokes at my nose in the same fashion. I'm not even on a turntable.

Posted by: Blame It On gp's Juice at January 04, 2024 07:50 PM (MvF+J)

6 Read content below while waiting for Cafe.
They can level fkin Gaza for all I care.

Posted by: Skip at January 04, 2024 07:50 PM (GX5ui)

7 Duncanthrax is not happy at this moment.

Posted by: Ben Had at January 04, 2024 07:50 PM (fZDrr)

8 Day 4 of the 2024 Café. Penguins are the first to enter, leaving their mephitic residues for all to follow.

No bats. No yaks.

Big Penguin strikes again!

Posted by: Duncanthrax at January 04, 2024 07:51 PM (a3Q+t)

9 Nat 20'd on his Detect Traps roll.

The slow-mo replay made the clip.

Posted by: mikeski at January 04, 2024 07:52 PM (DgGvY)

10 No bats
No Otters
No Yaks

Ace is clearly taking a bribe

Posted by: Ben Had at January 04, 2024 07:52 PM (fZDrr)

11 The running of the penguins.

===

Champions!

Posted by: runner at January 04, 2024 07:52 PM (V13WU)

12 And still, not a sea otter to be found. How did I disappoint you, ace?
Posted by: nurse ratched at January 04, 2024 07:46 PM (U5n2r)

Yeah, I noticed that, too.

Posted by: mrp at January 04, 2024 07:53 PM (rj6Yv)

13 Funny that peeing on a carpet must be fun for dogs.

As we got new carpet a long time ago and wife and daughter managed to pee and puke on new carpet before I paid the bill.

Posted by: rhennigantx at January 04, 2024 07:53 PM (lwOKI)

14 Our beloved Boxer mistook me for a fireplug while I was watching saturday cartoons. Maybe he was claiming me as territory or something.

Posted by: Common Tater at January 04, 2024 07:55 PM (qtHSP)

15 I went back to Service Supply for more fasteners, old guy was trying to clear out inventory.

He marked down the canvas glove to 2bucks a pair. I picked up half a dozen pairs of gloves to put in all of the vehicles.

Ultimately, they are going to all going to migrate to one vehicle, but in the interim, that's the plan.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at January 04, 2024 07:56 PM (XV/Pl)

16 So happy to see a penguin post, first of the New Year! Rumors of penguin olfactory offense are just that, rumors. Rumors that have been debunked. Penguins bring smiles and happiness to almost all. And bats can't wear orange backpacks, neither!

Posted by: Penguin Defense Fund 501c3 at January 04, 2024 07:57 PM (V5BDR)

17 So I crashed an airplane in a mountain near the ocean near the South tip of Argentina.

They fed me fresh penguin when I awoke.

20 days later when rescued I went to a restaurant that served any dish.

I ordered penguin.

Posted by: rhennigantx at January 04, 2024 07:57 PM (lwOKI)

18 it's good to have En Fuego Ace back! Bravo!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, for certain values of sock, rat, & Eez ... at January 04, 2024 07:57 PM (WsTvr)

19 Wow, fine collection of vids!

Posted by: Blame It On gp's Juice at January 04, 2024 07:58 PM (MvF+J)

20 Pandas must have found the safest niche in the universe. How else could they have survived?

Posted by: Eeyore at January 04, 2024 07:58 PM (1bNHn)

21 17 So I crashed an airplane in a mountain near the ocean near the South tip of Argentina.

They fed me fresh penguin when I awoke.

20 days later when rescued I went to a restaurant that served any dish.

I ordered penguin.
Posted by: rhennigantx at January 04, 2024 07:57 PM (lwOKI)

I know how this ends...

Posted by: Aetius451AD at January 04, 2024 07:59 PM (di6C2)

22 And bats can't wear orange backpacks, neither!
Posted by: Penguin Defense Fund 501c3

Of course not. They'd be batpacks.

Posted by: mikeski at January 04, 2024 07:59 PM (DgGvY)

23 Penguins sold out to global warming.

Posted by: Ben Had at January 04, 2024 08:00 PM (fZDrr)

24 I'm watching this show 'The Curious Case of Natalia Grace' on HBO.

Hole fuck a duck. This shit is craaaaazy.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:00 PM (xrlnV)

25 amazing that pottery kitty had such a gentle touch. Just a little more pressure would have ruined the mug.
and the dog harvesting oranges....

sometimes animals are scary smart.

Posted by: kallisto at January 04, 2024 08:00 PM (RTULi)

26 20 Pandas must have found the safest niche in the universe. How else could they have survived?
Posted by: Eeyore at January 04, 2024 07:58 PM (1bNHn)

Now do welfare mothers.

Posted by: rhennigantx at January 04, 2024 08:01 PM (lwOKI)

27 When I watch Penguins and Seals and Polar Bears in the ice and snow I wonder just how warm or cold they feel..

Posted by: I'm Gumby Damn It! at January 04, 2024 08:01 PM (WPHuI)

28 I'm so sad.

Posted by: nurse ratched at January 04, 2024 08:01 PM (V1S1H)

29 nurse, we need to talk?

Posted by: Ben Had at January 04, 2024 08:02 PM (fZDrr)

30 Penguins stole my dingo!

Posted by: Penguins stole my dingo at January 04, 2024 08:03 PM (vFG9F)

31 Native Eskimos and Penguins scored the same on test in BBC documentary given in English.

Posted by: rhennigantx at January 04, 2024 08:03 PM (lwOKI)

32 PENGUINS are a tribe of marine birds with straight and narrow bills, furrowed at the sides; the legs situated so far back that they walk in an upright position; and the wings small, not calculated for flight, and covered with a broad and strong membrane.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at January 04, 2024 08:06 PM (vFG9F)

33 Dingo are OK with me, but they can carry and transmit the rabies virus, like a certain winged rodent.

Posted by: Penguin Pete at January 04, 2024 08:06 PM (V5BDR)

34 No better bread of dogs than Goldens. Best boys.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 08:07 PM (ZLI7S)

35 Vast numbers of these birds inhabit the Falkland islands, and, to mariners, they have sometimes afforded a very seasonable supply of food. They are in general extremely fat, and must be skinned before they are eaten. Sometimes they have been salted and packed in casks to supply the place of beef. These birds are so fearless of the approach of mankind, that there is no difficulty in knocking them down and killing them with sticks.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at January 04, 2024 08:07 PM (vFG9F)

36 28 I'm so sad.
Posted by: nurse ratched at January 04, 2024 08:01 PM (V1S1H)

Why? Washington is about to kick Michigan's ass!

Be of good cheer!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:08 PM (xrlnV)

37 Penguins form their nests in holes in the ground, and generally lay one egg in each nest. The eggs are an excellent food.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at January 04, 2024 08:08 PM (vFG9F)

38 Jan. 4 (UPI) -- A funnel web spider named Hercules, the largest known specimen of its kind, has been donated to the Australian Reptile Park for use in its antivenom program.

The spider -- found and donated by a private individual -- was located on Australia's North South Wales Central Coast. Measuring 3.11 inches, Hercules overtakes the last known largest male funnel web spider, Colossus.

Its venom can kill a human in 15 minutes.
http://tinyurl.com/4v6acerp

Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at January 04, 2024 08:08 PM (2yu8s)

39 All good, Ben Had!

Just sad ace is disappointed in me and we've not seen a sea otter all year.

*quietly cries in the corner*

Posted by: nurse ratched at January 04, 2024 08:08 PM (CkL1Y)

40 No better bread of dogs than Goldens. Best boys.
Posted by: JackStraw

yeah, but they have trouble slicing it, so...

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 04, 2024 08:09 PM (IG4Id)

41 The spider -- found and donated by a private individual -- was located on Australia's North South Wales Central Coast. Measuring 3.11 inches, Hercules overtakes the last known largest male funnel web spider, Colossus.

Its venom can kill a human in 15 minutes.
http://tinyurl.com/4v6acerp
Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at January 04, 2024 08:08 PM (2yu8s)

Might I ask what possesses you to post this? Who exactly is gonna follow that link, good sir?

Shame. Shame. Shame.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:10 PM (xrlnV)

42 Oh, oh.

Starting this month, some new computers using Windows' operating system will have an AI button on the keyboard.

Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at January 04, 2024 08:10 PM (2yu8s)

43 Penguins are often found congregating in mobs and terrorizing people while riding minibikes.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at January 04, 2024 08:10 PM (vFG9F)

44 Rumors of penguin olfactory offense are just that, rumors. Rumors that have been debunked.
Posted by: Penguin Defense Fund 501c3 at January 04, 2024 07:57 PM

This is exactly the kind of extreme disinformation that Big Penguin loves to see disseminated.

https://frostyarctic.com/do-penguins-stink/

TL;DR: Yes, they do stink, and the mephitic stench is detectable from kilometers away.

And it's not just their digestive byproducts. The penguins themselves have a horrible body odor problem.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at January 04, 2024 08:10 PM (a3Q+t)

45 27 When I watch Penguins and Seals and Polar Bears in the ice and snow I wonder just how warm or cold they feel..
Posted by: I'm Gumby Damn It! at January 04, 2024 08:01 PM (WPHuI)

I always think that when I see any animals in the snow, or standing in a creek in winter--like cows! Or elk, or whatever. How are they not miserable?

I have to tell myself God made them to be oblivious to it.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at January 04, 2024 08:11 PM (OX9vb)

46 I think 95% of Australian critters can kill humans..whatta hostile environment

Posted by: A dude in MI at January 04, 2024 08:11 PM (/6GbT)

47 Half this place loves otters. Half this place love penguins.

We need a solid middle ground animal.

Maybe a sloth?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:12 PM (xrlnV)

48 TL;DR: Yes, they do stink, and the mephitic stench is detectable from kilometers away.

And it's not just their digestive byproducts. The penguins themselves have a horrible body odor problem.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at January 04, 2024 08:10 PM (a3Q+t)

Don't forget the large albino underground penguins in Lovecraft's documentary "At the Mountains of Madness"

Posted by: Oldcat at January 04, 2024 08:12 PM (eoQWY)

49 Half this place loves otters. Half this place love penguins.

We need a solid middle ground animal.

Maybe a sloth?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:12 PM (xrlnV)

MECHA OTTER_GUINS!

Posted by: Oldcat at January 04, 2024 08:13 PM (eoQWY)

50 ChtGPT is , again, posting nonsense about penguins. sad.

Posted by: runner at January 04, 2024 08:13 PM (V13WU)

51 Maybe one of you is really ChatGPT.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:14 PM (xrlnV)

52 >>yeah, but they have trouble slicing it, so...

I knew as soon as I hit post one of you morons would hit me on that.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 08:14 PM (ZLI7S)

53 The odor associated with penguins is often described as "mephitic" and has been compared to the stench of Jerry Nadler's underboob.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at January 04, 2024 08:14 PM (vFG9F)

54 🕷 Arachnophobia can be beaten, AlaBAMA. Please see your local doctor. 🕷

Anyway, the chances of Alex the Chick showing up in the Café are next to zero.

Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at January 04, 2024 08:15 PM (2yu8s)

55 I have to tell myself God made them to be oblivious to it.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at January 04, 2024 08:11 PM (OX9vb)

Cats at least keep the colder blood in the feet away from the core body to avoid heat loss so it doesn't feel as cold for them to stand in snow. God also made them able to mew piteously at doors and windows to be let in.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 04, 2024 08:15 PM (eoQWY)

56 i'll have a bat and otter for tomorrow

Posted by: ace/Biff Costanza at January 04, 2024 08:15 PM (KRtlO)

57 AlaBAMA, bats, otters and yaks. Air sea and land

Posted by: Ben Had at January 04, 2024 08:15 PM (fZDrr)

58 52 >>yeah, but they have trouble slicing it, so...

I knew as soon as I hit post one of you morons would hit me on that.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 08:14 PM (ZLI7S)

Did you teach your dog to heel?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:16 PM (xrlnV)

59 56 i'll have a bat and otter for tomorrow
Posted by: ace/Biff Costanza at January 04, 2024 08:15 PM (KRtlO

What about us??!?

Posted by: Tit Mouse Lovers Society at January 04, 2024 08:16 PM (xrlnV)

60 I have to tell myself God made them to be oblivious to it.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at January 04, 2024 08:11 PM (OX9vb)

You can count the number of ChatGPT bots on the nine fingers of one hand.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 04, 2024 08:16 PM (eoQWY)

61 Why are there no penguins in the Arctic Circle?

Somethings missing!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 04, 2024 08:17 PM (R/m4+)

62 Half this place loves otters. Half this place love penguins.

We need a solid middle ground animal.

Maybe a sloth?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:12 PM

*plants flag*

Baby goats!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 04, 2024 08:17 PM (Wnv9h)

63
i'll have a bat and otter for tomorrow

A botter.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 04, 2024 08:17 PM (63Dwl)

64 Thanks alot,ace.

The YAKS

Posted by: Ben Had at January 04, 2024 08:18 PM (fZDrr)

65 Man, Big Otter has a stranglehold on this place.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:18 PM (xrlnV)

66 A bat-penguin hybrid was once attempted in order to satisfy everyone but the experiment ultimately failed due to the truly terrifying nature of flying penguins.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at January 04, 2024 08:18 PM (vFG9F)

67 AlaBAMA, bats, otters and yaks
We'd hear it from the people of the town
They'd call us AlaBAMA, bats, otters and yaks
But every night all the men would come around
And lay their money down -- facts!

Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at January 04, 2024 08:19 PM (2yu8s)

68 67 AlaBAMA, bats, otters and yaks
We'd hear it from the people of the town
They'd call us AlaBAMA, bats, otters and yaks
But every night all the men would come around
And lay their money down -- facts!
Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at January 04, 2024 08:19 PM (2yu8s

I sang it to the tune. It's catchy.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:20 PM (xrlnV)

69 *quietly cries in the corner*
Posted by: nurse ratched at January 04, 2024 08:08 PM

Nobody puts nurse in a corner!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 04, 2024 08:20 PM (Wnv9h)

70 Penguins on land usually attack in packs, going for the genitals first.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at January 04, 2024 08:20 PM (vFG9F)

71 Individual who have issues with penguins, who accuse them of goodness knows what are losers and layabouts who want to date Claudine Gay.

Posted by: runner at January 04, 2024 08:20 PM (V13WU)

72 I've seen potters with less deft hands than that cat, including me at times.

Posted by: javems at January 04, 2024 08:21 PM (8I4hW)

73 Those videos of Killer whales killing penguins and turning the sea wine dark kind of bother me. It's nature and I admire Killer whales but they still trouble me.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 08:21 PM (AN/rm)

74 I like baby goats. Then they grow into adult asshole goats.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at January 04, 2024 08:22 PM (R4t5M)

75 i'll have a bat and otter for tomorrow

==

weird diet, but whatever makes you happy ace! *makes sure to submit the recipe to CBD for his sunday thread

Posted by: runner at January 04, 2024 08:22 PM (V13WU)

76 Leopard seals are bastards. I know that's nature as well

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 08:23 PM (AN/rm)

77 Those videos of Killer whales killing penguins and turning the sea wine dark kind of bother me. It's nature and I admire Killer whales but they still trouble me.
Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 08:21 PM (AN/rm)

Its the only thing holding back the Penguin Hordes from reaching us.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 04, 2024 08:23 PM (eoQWY)

78 Maybe one of you is really ChatGPT.

Maybe all of us are. Except for you of course. Maybe you are the last person on the planet and you just don't know it yet.

Posted by: Oddbob at January 04, 2024 08:23 PM (sNc8Y)

79 I'll have a cheeseburger tomorrow.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, for certain values of sock, rat, & Eez ... at January 04, 2024 08:24 PM (WsTvr)

80 78 Maybe one of you is really ChatGPT.

Maybe all of us are. Except for you of course. Maybe you are the last person on the planet and you just don't know it yet.
Posted by: Oddbob at January 04, 2024 08:23 PM (sNc8Y

And just like that, a new SciFi book idea was born!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:24 PM (xrlnV)

81 All you need to know about how bad Penguins stink is to go into the Penguin Exhibit at The Turtleback Zoo.

If you can last more than a minute in there, your nose ain't working right.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at January 04, 2024 08:24 PM (XV/Pl)

82 Bats feed wholly on insects, which they catch during their flight, there can be no doubt but, in this respect, and unlike penguins, they are extremely serviceable to mankind. They devour myriads of night-flying moths, the caterpillars of which would otherwise prove injurious to our gardens, orchards, and fields, unlike penguins, which are worthless and useless creatures that smell bad.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at January 04, 2024 08:25 PM (vFG9F)

83 I like baby goats. Then they grow into adult asshole goats.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at January 04, 2024 08:22 PM

True. Adult goats are asshoe.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 04, 2024 08:25 PM (Wnv9h)

84 Here is compromise, MOAR PENGUINS!

Posted by: runner at January 04, 2024 08:25 PM (V13WU)

85 Penguins on land usually attack in packs, going for the genitals first.
Posted by: Penguin Facts at January 04, 2024 08:20 PM (vFG9F)

Good. Had me worried there for a second.

Posted by: Godzilla, No Genitals Seen In All My Movies at January 04, 2024 08:26 PM (R/m4+)

86 All you need to know about how bad Penguins stink is to go into the Penguin Exhibit at The Turtleback Zoo.

If you can last more than a minute in there, your nose ain't working right.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at January 04, 2024 08:24 PM (XV/Pl)

I remember a story about a little British cat that would catch a ride on a shuttle train in a village to go to the zoo and visit the penguins every few days, then ride the train back.

Posted by: Oldcat at January 04, 2024 08:27 PM (eoQWY)

87 There is a reason why the Chicoms used bats for their crazy, humanity destroying experiments, because penguins refused to cooperate!

Posted by: runner at January 04, 2024 08:29 PM (V13WU)

88 Actually, some of the bats feed on songbirds. The European Vesper bat, and a few others attack migrating birds in Europe, and some tropical bats who are normally fruit eating, will raid bird nests for hatchlings and eggs.

Posted by: Kindltot at January 04, 2024 08:30 PM (D7oie)

89 39 All good, Ben Had!

Just sad ace is disappointed in me and we've not seen a sea otter all year.

*quietly cries in the corner*
Posted by: nurse ratched at January 04, 2024 08:08 PM (CkL1Y)

Mr Ace, you made Nurse cry!
That's mean.

Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at January 04, 2024 08:31 PM (Rbu5d)

90 Who knew pizza was on the hierarchy of needs?

Posted by: eleven at January 04, 2024 08:31 PM (iziT8)

91 The Chinese people refuse to eat penguin because it smells worse than kimchee fermented for two years under Jerry Nadler's gunt.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at January 04, 2024 08:32 PM (vFG9F)

92 --As many as 10 patients at an Oregon hospital may have died after a nurse allegedly swapped out fentanyl in IVs for tap water, prompting an investigation of the theft of medication.

Officials at Asante Rogue Regional Medical Center in Medford say they alerted police early last month that they believed a former employee had stolen medication.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:34 PM (xrlnV)

93 Insider Corner @insiderscorner 6h
Karine Jean-Pierre catches herself after saying “unfortunately there is no longer an active threat to the school.”

Karine Jean-Pierre: “I should say fortunately not unfortunately”
-----
Also guns to blame not trannies.

Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at January 04, 2024 08:34 PM (2yu8s)

94 47 Half this place loves otters. Half this place love penguins.

We need a solid middle ground animal.

Maybe a sloth?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:12 PM (xrlnV)

Baby goats!
http://tinyurl.com/39rb8s4n

Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at January 04, 2024 08:34 PM (Rbu5d)

95 @86

>>I remember a story about a little British cat that would catch a ride on a shuttle train in a village to go to the zoo and visit the penguins every few days, then ride the train back.

That would probably make a really good, family friendly, animated kids film, too bad there isn't a company that does that sort of thing.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at January 04, 2024 08:35 PM (XV/Pl)

96 Second look at Antarctic loin girding.

Posted by: eleven at January 04, 2024 08:35 PM (iziT8)

97
I ordered penguin.
Posted by: rhennigantx

So very carefully NOT asking if you're Chewbaka.

Posted by: BifBewalski at January 04, 2024 08:35 PM (3CCua)

98 meh, all of "nature" is trying to kill all of us, any of us, bamn, whenever we give an opening. trying to avoid this is the foundation of any and all civilization (such as it is, lol).
failure to observe this crucial point can cause death or other "consequences".

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, for certain values of sock, rat, & Eez ... at January 04, 2024 08:36 PM (WsTvr)

99 6 Reasons Penguins Smell So Bad:
1. Their bodily secretions interact with bacteria to produce a bad smell from the body.

2. The preen gland producing oily secretions for the feathers, which bacteria interact with producing bad smells.

3. Penguin poop is one of the major contributors to penguins' mephitic profile.

4. Larger colonies have heaps of poop near nesting areas. These heaps produce unpleasantness around the area.

5. As temperatures rise, sweating is increased, which also allows the guano smell to spread far and wide.

6. The heavy fish diet produces smelly sweat.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at January 04, 2024 08:37 PM (a3Q+t)

100 62...*plants flag*

Baby goats!
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 04, 2024 08:17 PM (Wnv9h)

[94] Great minds, etc etc etc

Posted by: Question Authority bumper sticker at January 04, 2024 08:37 PM (Rbu5d)

101 That would probably make a really good, family friendly, animated kids film, too bad there isn't a company that does that sort of thing.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at January 04, 2024 08:35 PM (XV/Pl)

——————-

Done. The cat’s now gay.

Posted by: Kathleen Kennedy at January 04, 2024 08:38 PM (u73oe)

102 I feel like pandas have reached the "retirement" phase of evolution. They don't have to report in anymore, don't have to set their alarms, no meetings, no dress code, no performance self evaluations.

On the day I retire, in the very very distant future, I'm pretty much just going to roll around naked at work with a bottle of scotch in one hand, a sausage calzone in the other, maybe grunt and snort a little. An adult human panda. (no furry)

Posted by: banana Dream at January 04, 2024 08:38 PM (Y6IkP)

103 innit?

g'night, allayouse ...

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, for certain values of sock, rat, & Eez ... at January 04, 2024 08:39 PM (WsTvr)

104 The larger kinds of bats, such as the vampyre and spectre bats, are not unfrequently used as food. At a particular season of the year, they become fat; and though, whilst alive, their smell is excessively rank and unpleasant, they are then said to be delicious eating, and, in flavour, somewhat to resemble rabbits.

Posted by: Bat Facts at January 04, 2024 08:39 PM (vFG9F)

105 NPR science producer Jason Orfanon said that the smell coming from the penguin colonies is similar to when you soak tobacco in ammonia.

Then, mix it with rotten shrimp and burn it in the sun for days.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at January 04, 2024 08:40 PM (a3Q+t)

106 Balut with bat soufflé.

Posted by: Eromero at January 04, 2024 08:41 PM (Omqq1)

107 *suddenly catching up with the star wars news* Hol' up. Did Barbara Hambly just not exist, or...? And wasn't there at least one chick who wrote at least a couple of the Yuuzhan Vong novels?

(I stopped reading the expanded universe because of Kevin J. Anderson, so I know about the Vong only from hearsay)

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at January 04, 2024 08:41 PM (Y+AMd)

108 I saw a documentary on cats. They showed cats that were abandoned at old whaling stations. They managed to find shelter from the cold and caught birds for food. Can't say they looked particularly happy

Posted by: Notsothoreau at January 04, 2024 08:42 PM (L8hCM)

109 LOL, banana Dream! hope that works out for you somehow!

LOL!

wish i could see that!

LOL

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, for certain values of sock, rat, & Eez ... at January 04, 2024 08:42 PM (WsTvr)

110 Who knew pizza was on the hierarchy of needs?
Posted by: eleven at January 04, 2024 08:31 PM

Way more than you might think.

Posted by: Big Sausage Pizza Delivery Driver at January 04, 2024 08:42 PM (a3Q+t)

111 Yeet!
Posted by: nurse ratched at January 04, 2024 07:45 PM (U5n2r)

Yoot !

Posted by: JT at January 04, 2024 08:43 PM (T4tVD)

112 & rly g'night

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, for certain values of sock, rat, & Eez ... at January 04, 2024 08:43 PM (WsTvr)

113 @104 - just be sure to have garlic on hand.
They don't taste good without garlic.

Posted by: Teej at January 04, 2024 08:44 PM (9jZWY)

114 Penguin eggs taste fishy.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 08:45 PM (AN/rm)

115 ya ha!

Posted by: curly_howard at January 04, 2024 08:45 PM (WsTvr)

116 And just like that, a new SciFi book idea was born!
Posted by: AlaBAMA

How about a 6-minute video?

https://youtu.be/fzQ6gRAEoy0

Posted by: mikeski at January 04, 2024 08:46 PM (DgGvY)

117 I had an idea come to me in a dream to breed mosquitoes as big as chickens. Free range, of course.

Posted by: fd at January 04, 2024 08:48 PM (vFG9F)

118 Why did the nonbinary prospector head west?

He heard there was gold in them /their hills.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter 2024 at January 04, 2024 08:48 PM (FVME7)

119 DAL 1 COL 1 end 1st

Posted by: Don Black at January 04, 2024 08:49 PM (geLO8)

120 Penguins are clumsy on the land but graceful and elegant in the ocean. Pandas are clumsy everywhere.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 08:49 PM (AN/rm)

121 Groan.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at January 04, 2024 08:49 PM (R4t5M)

122 How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

One you see later and one you see after a while.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:50 PM (xrlnV)

123 Chiquitos.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at January 04, 2024 08:50 PM (R4t5M)

124 I had an idea come to me in a dream to breed mosquitoes as big as chickens. Free range, of course.
Posted by: fd at January 04, 2024 08:48 PM (vFG9F)

Southern Alaska, then?

Posted by: Kindltot at January 04, 2024 08:52 PM (D7oie)

125 117 I had an idea come to me in a dream to breed mosquitoes as big as chickens. Free range, of course.
Posted by: fd at January 04, 2024 08

Do you need an axe and a chopping block to kill one?

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 08:52 PM (AN/rm)

126
Insider Corner @insiderscorner 6h
Karine Jean-Pierre catches herself after saying “unfortunately there is no longer an active threat to the school.”

Karine Jean-Pierre: “I should say fortunately not unfortunately”
-----
Also guns to blame not trannies.
Posted by: andycanuck

The Iowa School Shooter Was an LGBTQ+ Activist

http://tinyurl.com/2syktk7a

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 04, 2024 08:53 PM (63Dwl)

127 Get bit by a chiquito, you lose a pint of blood.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at January 04, 2024 08:54 PM (R4t5M)

128 "The Iowa School Shooter Was an LGBTQ+ Activist"

"Unfortunately".

Posted by: fd at January 04, 2024 08:54 PM (vFG9F)

129 Barak told me that the closest he had ever smelled to penguin funk was Michael's taint

Posted by: MAxIE at January 04, 2024 08:54 PM (twxj3)

130 How big are the proboscii on these chickens quits?

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 08:55 PM (AN/rm)

131 "Get bit by a chiquito, you lose a pint of blood.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory"

I figure we release a bunch at the Southern border, and then harvest them to make mosquito flour.

Posted by: fd at January 04, 2024 08:56 PM (vFG9F)

132 I wonder if the zoo would rent that panda. My desk needs cleared.

Posted by: DaveA at January 04, 2024 08:57 PM (FhXTo)

133 is there another animal as goofy as the panda

Posted by: Don Black at January 04, 2024 08:59 PM (geLO8)

134 Baier: Would you accept the extra funding on the condition that it could only be used for detention and removal, not release into the country?

Mayorkas: No

Posted by: Duke Lowell at January 04, 2024 09:00 PM (u73oe)

135 >>is there another animal as goofy as the panda

humans

Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 09:00 PM (ZLI7S)

136 NPR science producer Jason Orfanon said that the smell coming from the penguin colonies is similar to when you soak tobacco in ammonia.

Then, mix it with rotten shrimp and burn it in the sun for days.
Posted by: Duncanthrax

The seals at La Jolla Beach have entered the chat.

Posted by: Billionaire owner of Limited/Victoria's Secret at January 04, 2024 09:01 PM (GmDse)

137 Get bit by a chiquito, you lose a pint of blood.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory"

I figure we release a bunch at the Southern border, and then harvest them to make mosquito flour.
Posted by: fd at January
They could be the key to repelling an alien invasion. The othernkind.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 09:01 PM (AN/rm)

138 sea life is generally stinky

Posted by: Don Black at January 04, 2024 09:03 PM (geLO8)

139 >>is there another animal as goofy as the panda

I find sloths kind of goofy.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 09:03 PM (AN/rm)

140 Also guns to blame not trannies.

POS killed a 6th grader... There is no hell terrible enough for "it"

Posted by: It's me donna at January 04, 2024 09:05 PM (n2vyf)

141 Red Pandas have a goofy side.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 09:05 PM (AN/rm)

142 hell ain't even half full yet ...

Posted by: sock_rat_eez - these lying bastardi e stronzi have been lying for decades at January 04, 2024 09:06 PM (WsTvr)

143 136

But I will defer to the Sea Lions holding Pier 39 in San Francisco hostage. They are indeed Big Stinkers!

Unless you venture away from the wharf into the actual city and then the smell takes on a whole new level nose holding offensiveness.

Posted by: Nightwatch at January 04, 2024 09:06 PM (TDvv2)

144 139 >>is there another animal as goofy as the panda

Sure. Bernese Mountain dogs

Posted by: Floridachick at January 04, 2024 09:08 PM (3lI5V)

145 Any one who says trannies are the victims not the actual murder victims needs to have his head popped and shoved up his ass.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 04, 2024 09:08 PM (AN/rm)

146 Why are we talking Trannies?

They get enough attention in the DC libraries during "Children's Show and Tell" book reading hours.

Posted by: Nightwatch at January 04, 2024 09:15 PM (TDvv2)

147 Noah @PrimeNoah24 22h
Stephen Hawking as soon as the plane touched ground on Epstein’s Island

10:22 PM · Jan 3, 2024
7.3M Views; 13.5K Reposts; 1,063 Quotes; 160.2K Likes; 5,840 Bookmarks

Noah @PrimeNoah24 10h
When I went to bed this had 4k likes lol

http://tinyurl.com/3br6phjw
animated GIF

Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at January 04, 2024 09:16 PM (2yu8s)

148 Holy shit, anyone else heard of the Katt Williams interview where he talked about Illuminati?

😮

Posted by: logprof at January 04, 2024 09:16 PM (IHzSa)

149 Goofy animals?

You ever see a pack of excited Dachshunds running straight towards you?

I have.

That is some goofy business right there.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at January 04, 2024 09:19 PM (XV/Pl)

150 Sabres 3 - Habs 1

Middle 3rd period...

Posted by: browndog unearthing eternal truths at January 04, 2024 09:21 PM (TTAGa)

151 it's funny how these hockey commentators talk about guys losing teeth like it's no big deal

Posted by: Don Black at January 04, 2024 09:22 PM (geLO8)

152 ...and now 4-1

New year, new Sabres...

Posted by: browndog unearthing eternal truths at January 04, 2024 09:23 PM (TTAGa)

153 one guy said 'if you stop the bleeding, you can play without the teeth'

Posted by: Don Black at January 04, 2024 09:23 PM (geLO8)

154 Cousin released some more blues.

https://youtu.be/ndWSBe6POH8?si=Ly1mGbGIzVYpDVy0

Posted by: BifBewalski at January 04, 2024 09:25 PM (3CCua)

155 Why are we talking Trannies?
-------
DC_Draino @DC_Draino 6h
Oh look, another Trans school shooter -- this time in Iowa

He was a leftist LGBTQ activist, as seen in his Reddit account, Dylanpickle1996, and on TikTok

Gay & trans pride flags featured on his pages & the hashtag #GenderFluid

Why so many Trans mass shooters?!
====
[No sarcasm or criticism meant.]

Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at January 04, 2024 09:25 PM (2yu8s)

156 DAL 3 COL 1 2ND

Posted by: Don Black at January 04, 2024 09:28 PM (geLO8)

157 Once again, it's time for my almost daily exclamation:

"Pandas are idiots and have no business continuing to exist."

Posted by: Orson at January 04, 2024 09:30 PM (dIske)

158 62 Half this place loves otters. Half this place love penguins.

We need a solid middle ground animal.

Maybe a sloth?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 04, 2024 08:12 PM

*plants flag*

Baby goats!
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 04, 2024 08:17 PM (Wnv9h)

Octopodes!

Posted by: Barkingmad59, wandering lurkette at January 04, 2024 09:33 PM (hBG3V)

159 148

Well good evening sir...

Posted by: Nightwatch at January 04, 2024 09:33 PM (TDvv2)

160 "153 one guy said 'if you stop the bleeding, you can play without the teeth'

Posted by: Don Black at January 04, 2024 09:23 PM (geLO

"

he's not wrong. what can I say?

if you got will, the only thing to stop you is death.
not just "mostly dead", but 100% dead ...
... and that still leaves the unknown realm, & who knows what we can do there ... ?

Posted by: sock_rat_eez - these lying bastardi e stronzi have been lying for decades at January 04, 2024 09:34 PM (WsTvr)

161 BAMN, amirite?

Posted by: sock_rat_eez - these lying bastardi e stronzi have been lying for decades at January 04, 2024 09:35 PM (WsTvr)

162 @148 - logprof

Haven't heard it but the Illuminati is old news.
Bring it up around here and it will likely get poo-pooed by those who do so to all the "conspiracy theories" that have, you know, come true.

Posted by: Teej at January 04, 2024 09:36 PM (9jZWY)

163 >>Sabres 3 - Habs 1

>>Middle 3rd period...

Ranger 4 - Blackhawks 1

Final

Not yet browndog.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 09:36 PM (ZLI7S)

164 hey, JS, thx for that kanekoa link yesterday; printed a few copies of that to, shall we say, "spread around" ...

Posted by: sock_rat_eez - these lying bastardi e stronzi have been lying for decades at January 04, 2024 09:39 PM (WsTvr)

165 Not yet browndog.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 09:36 PM (ZLI7S)

We may not make it this year…

But our day is coming !

Posted by: Austin Powers at January 04, 2024 09:40 PM (TTAGa)

166 one guy said 'if you stop the bleeding, you can play without the teeth'
Posted by: Don Black

And the next time you take someone's hockey stick in the face, they can't knock your teeth out!

Posted by: mikeski at January 04, 2024 09:41 PM (DgGvY)

167 Katt with Shannon Sharpe:

https://youtu.be/nARu4hfaQKc?si=zf4IdZqTS-JQRgY7

He's preaching fire!

Teej, this is different. Katt names Cedric the Entertainer. Kinda ties into the current Zeitgeist since he slams Cedric for stealing jokes blatantly.

I thought the Illuminati thing was a crock just a year ago, but thanks to peeps like Katt I'm starting to get it.

Posted by: logprof at January 04, 2024 09:41 PM (IHzSa)

168 /off oh do behave sock

6-1 SABRES

Posted by: browndog enjoying a rout at January 04, 2024 09:44 PM (TTAGa)

169 DAL 3 COL 2 2ND INT

Posted by: Don Black at January 04, 2024 09:45 PM (geLO8)

170 >>hey, JS, thx for that kanekoa link yesterday; printed a few copies of that to, shall we say, "spread around" ...

No idea who that guy actually is but he is really plugged in.

Not just a random moron.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 09:45 PM (ZLI7S)

171 >>We may not make it this year…

>>But our day is coming

Indeed. Good young team and they play hard.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 09:46 PM (ZLI7S)

172 *fistbump*

Posted by: sock_rat_eez - these lying bastardi e stronzi have been lying for decades at January 04, 2024 09:46 PM (WsTvr)

173 Why so many Trans mass shooters?!
====
[No sarcasm or criticism meant.]
Posted by: andycanuck (2yu8s) at January 04, 2024 09:25 PM (2yu8s)

Because the freaks are mentally ill and need help, but there are few loony bins left, and society is enabling and coddling them.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at January 04, 2024 09:48 PM (ufFY8)

174 is everybody over on the main page beating F5 like it's their unresponsive johnson?

Posted by: Don Black at January 04, 2024 09:48 PM (geLO8)

175 & now rly rly rly g'night!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez - these lying bastardi e stronzi have been lying for decades at January 04, 2024 09:49 PM (WsTvr)

176 Maybe all of us are. Except for you of course. Maybe you are the last person on the planet and you just don't know it yet.
Posted by: Oddbob at January 04, 2024 08:23 PM (sNc8Y

Raises hand

I remember hearing about this in Philosophy class! It's called solipsism.

Posted by: Emmie at January 04, 2024 09:49 PM (Sf2cq)

177
This is getting ridiculous. Mrs. Duke (Duke Power) sent out a text alert frantically warning that they anticipate high energy demand tomorrow and begged all customers to take steps to limit power usage from 6AM to 9AM tomorrow morning.

Lows around here are forecast to be about 27F. Some possible ice will be around up around the NC mountains and state lines, but not until Saturday morning.

This is what green and "renewable" nonsense is doing to the grid. Everywhere.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (Mzdiz) at January 04, 2024 09:49 PM (Mzdiz)

178 @174, LOL!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez - these lying bastardi e stronzi have been lying for decades at January 04, 2024 09:49 PM (WsTvr)

179 155

Well then...seems Trannies can now join the ranks of ANTIFA...BLM...and the BLACK BLOC...(tearing down CODE PINK, NOW, to make room on my board)

(Making the appropriate additions to my Cork Board that I have been keeping since well before 2008 when that Bitch OBAMA somehow got into office.)

If his WIFE MIKE pops onto the scene for a go in 2024...that will tell us all that the Apocalypse is nigh upon us all.

Posted by: Nightwatch at January 04, 2024 09:50 PM (TDvv2)

180 170 >>hey, JS, thx for that kanekoa link yesterday; printed a few copies of that to, shall we say, "spread around" ...

No idea who that guy actually is but he is really plugged in.

Not just a random moron.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 09:45 PM (ZLI7S)

Please share again!

Posted by: Emmie at January 04, 2024 09:50 PM (Sf2cq)

181 Evening, Horde. Just came from meeting Moron Blanco Basura in Chandler. Had a nice visit. Lurker Osprey present, too.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 04, 2024 09:52 PM (tkR6S)

182 Watch this. Vivek is the next generation. Also, the media is mostly stupidly young white women who don't know shit.

This is how it's done.

http://tinyurl.com/ychtmc8m

Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 09:52 PM (ZLI7S)

183 Colorado Springs shooter: nonbinary
Nashville school shooter: trans
Aberdeen shooter: trans
Denver school shooter: trans
Iowa school shooter: trans/genderfluid

We should look into this!

Posted by: rhennigantx at January 04, 2024 09:53 PM (lwOKI)

184 https://youtu.be/83uZzNPHwxY?si=G1Qo5LObfCYw5pAO

--John Majors, no shock

Posted by: logprof at January 04, 2024 09:53 PM (IHzSa)

185 Sounds like you've just looked into the rabbit hole.
I went down it and have been running around in it for 30 years.
Caution you on something. There are some who will tell lots of truths but then mix in lies that discredit those truths.
Wheels within wheels.

Posted by: Teej at January 04, 2024 09:53 PM (9jZWY)

186 emmie :

http://tinyurl.com/pxk9h4a8

Posted by: sock_rat_eez - these lying bastardi e stronzi have been lying for decades at January 04, 2024 09:56 PM (WsTvr)

187 @182

>>This is how it's done.

It is rather amusing watching a "reporter" becoming unhinged during a supposed neutral interview.

To the extent white supremacy exists in reality, it has no institutional power, no political power and no cultural power.

The fact that white supremacy gets waved around like a bloody flag, tells you all you need to know about how bankrupt the left is.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at January 04, 2024 10:00 PM (XV/Pl)

188 so glad i didn't lose that nitter link, woohoo!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez - these lying bastardi e stronzi have been lying for decades at January 04, 2024 10:00 PM (WsTvr)

189 >>It is rather amusing watching a "reporter" becoming unhinged during a supposed neutral interview.

Leftists can't handle anyone who refuses to accept their idiotic narratives because they don't actually know anything. Trump started this. Vivek is every bit as good and actually smoother.

He's going to be a star.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 10:04 PM (ZLI7S)

190 Teej, Katt sounds sincere to me because he relates his faith and how it protected him from groveling for fame and big money despite seeing lesser talents get their bag.

Posted by: logprof at January 04, 2024 10:05 PM (IHzSa)

191 Of the 917 hate groups, 450 (roughly 50 percent) are white supremacist organizations. That number includes 100 white nationalist groups, 78 racist skinhead, 99 neo-Nazi, 43 neo-confederate and 130 Ku Klux Klan chapters.

So maybe 15k

on a good day

Posted by: rhennigantx at January 04, 2024 10:07 PM (lwOKI)

192 So has anyone met a KKK type?

Posted by: rhennigantx at January 04, 2024 10:10 PM (lwOKI)

193 It will be telling here and Ace should be proud when, in the next 6 months or so...traffic on this site dwindles down to near nothing.

Not because we have lost interest in the site...but because of this site we are now out in the street in the real...fighting to uphold this Constitution and our Republic by what ever means necessary by our presence.

Posted by: Nightwatch at January 04, 2024 10:23 PM (TDvv2)

194 Largest outdoor concert ever, Englshtown, NJ

F

Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 11:53 PM (ZLI7S)

195 For IrishEi

http://tinyurl.com/bdhwy2xn

Posted by: JackStraw at January 04, 2024 11:54 PM (ZLI7S)

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