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Dog Birthday Party Cafe

eltzcastleineiffelgermany.jpg
Eltz Castle in Eiffel, Germany
by @long.explorer

Awww... So storks really do deliver human babies or am I reading this wrong?

Awww, again.

It's been a while since we've checked in with the sugar gliders. Who are Almost Bats!

ICYMI: The cutest little baby rhino.

Don't mess with the bull. You'll get the horns. Or at least a dirty look.

Guinea pigs reenact the Exodus.

Border collie clears up a traffic snarl. Not on my watch, sheep.

Big... juicy... bootie...

The hunter becomes the hunted.

Dogs just want to help, in any way they can.

Snow leopard cub.

Not all heroes wear collars.

This is a little scary, but a dog -- maybe a Golden? -- decides to intervene and break up a fight.

Who's fighting? A lion and a tiger. They're not kittens, either. Maybe juveniles but still.

You see, Mr. Bond, I have created four satellites, which I call the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse...

I'm pretty sure this is just the opening of "The Banana Splits" but I don't have the technology to prove it.

Posted by: Ace at 07:30 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 first.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at May 03, 2023 07:31 PM (ncXxy)

2 First thought it was Colditz

Posted by: Skip at May 03, 2023 07:31 PM (xhxe8)

3 present !

Posted by: runner at May 03, 2023 07:31 PM (V13WU)

4
This post violates CAFE Standards.

Shut it down.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 03, 2023 07:33 PM (RJQ8g)

5 hiya

Posted by: JT at May 03, 2023 07:34 PM (T4tVD)

6 The lion in the lion/tiger fight is missing a leg. The dog says leave the handicapped guy alone.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 03, 2023 07:34 PM (eOEVl)

7 Thank you Ace.

I am *not* ready to buy so I'll keep my money (sidebar).

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 07:34 PM (svkSf)

8 woof

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 07:35 PM (Vwz3I)

9 Thank you for the sugar gliders, Ace!

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 03, 2023 07:35 PM (a3Q+t)

10 How the heck did they keep those birthday dogs from eating all of that food while they were singing happy birthday?

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at May 03, 2023 07:35 PM (ncXxy)

11 >>>6 The lion in the lion/tiger fight is missing a leg. The dog says leave the handicapped guy alone.

oh I didn't notice that.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2023 07:35 PM (iHBZj)

12 >>>I am *not* ready to buy so I'll keep my money (sidebar).

Fine! More for ME!

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2023 07:36 PM (iHBZj)

13 baby emu page...leads to nowhere

Posted by: runner at May 03, 2023 07:36 PM (V13WU)

14 >>>Awww, again.

oops. I "accidentally" spilled some of your milk. No worries! I'll just clean that right up.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 03, 2023 07:37 PM (klJTj)

15 A tiger? In Africa??

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 07:37 PM (Vwz3I)

16 Raccoons are extra fun if you've got a nice swimming pool and keep your trash cans nearby. They're delicate little creatures who enjoy washing their food!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 03, 2023 07:37 PM (k1Qly)

17 i deleted the baby emu.

these accounts mostly steal their stuff from other people so these links have a lifespan of hours or days until someone asks them to remove it.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2023 07:38 PM (iHBZj)

18 baby emu page...leads to nowhere
Posted by: runner at May 03, 2023 07:36 PM (V13WU)

As did the European Monetary Unit, before it.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 03, 2023 07:38 PM (xhaym)

19 4 baby pandas

Posted by: runner at May 03, 2023 07:39 PM (V13WU)

20
'Canes up 2-0. I was happy that NJ eliminated the Rangers, now they can be dispensed with.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 03, 2023 07:39 PM (1WyiB)

21 >>>Big... juicy... bootie...

That bird looked nothing like AOC.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 03, 2023 07:41 PM (klJTj)

22 Seems to be something udderly wrong with that bull....

Posted by: Erik In Texas, Devout Anti-Communist at May 03, 2023 07:42 PM (SigcJ)

23 10 How the heck did they keep those birthday dogs from eating all of that food while they were singing happy birthday?
Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS)

Right? There is an instagram account with a bulldog, always dressed in something silly, with a bowl of some kind of food--cheetos, donuts, you name it--always just sitting there with its paw on the food and not snarfing it all up.

Serious impulse control training on that one. My dog would eat the whole plate of donuts in four seconds.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 03, 2023 07:42 PM (OX9vb)

24 3 minutes left in the 1st period...

Jersey still to show up.

Where are the Devils, the world wonders...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 07:43 PM (CCSxw)

25 Well. My neighbor came over because she couldn't make calls on her cell phone. Guess What? I can't either.

"Cellular network not available for voice calls."

T-mobile.

What's happening?

Posted by: KT at May 03, 2023 07:43 PM (rrtZS)

26
My dog would eat the whole plate of donuts in four seconds.
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 03, 2023 07:42 PM (OX9vb)

__________

That long?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 03, 2023 07:44 PM (MoZTd)

27 Meep meep!

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 03, 2023 07:44 PM (fKSGo)

28 I always liked “Danger Island” on the Banana Splits.

Chongo was great but he drove Jan Michael Vincent to drink with his crazy birds calls and hand signals.

Uh Oh Chongo!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 03, 2023 07:44 PM (R/m4+)

29 That long?
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 03, 2023 07:44 PM (MoZTd)

Ha, not likely!

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 03, 2023 07:45 PM (OX9vb)

30 "Cellular network not available for voice calls."

T-mobile.

What's happening?
Posted by: KT at May 03, 2023 07:43 PM (rrtZS)

Had that last week with Verizon during the night

Posted by: A dude in MI at May 03, 2023 07:45 PM (/6GbT)

31 KT your out of the %99 coverage in the country.

Posted by: Skip at May 03, 2023 07:45 PM (xhxe8)

32
It's about sundown in Eastern Time Zones. After sunset, go out and look to the west. Venus is putting on quite a show. Venus is nearing one of the inner loops of an inferior conjunction with the Sun, and it gets very close and very bright.

It's at magnitude -4.1 now, and getting brighter. Around the 12th, it will reach maximum altitude relative to the local horizon, and be around it's latest setting time, which will be pretty close to midnight in many DST time zones.

Quite a spectacular sight now.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (Mzdiz) at May 03, 2023 07:45 PM (Mzdiz)

33 Fine! More for ME!
Posted by: ace

Are you going to wear them while riding your vespa?

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 07:45 PM (svkSf)

34 Jersey takes another stupid penalty

This game could get out of control if the Canes score here...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 07:46 PM (CCSxw)

35
Lindy Ruff looks like he's 85 years old. So I looked it up. He's four years younger than me.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 03, 2023 07:46 PM (MoZTd)

36 Ace,

Crocs are really bad for your feet and your back. Podiatrists hate them. So do physiatrists.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 03, 2023 07:47 PM (fKSGo)

37 35
Lindy Ruff looks like he's 85 years old. So I looked it up. He's four years younger than me.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 03, 2023 07:46 PM (MoZTd)

The stress of being a coach ages a person in dog years...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 07:48 PM (CCSxw)

38 A tiger? In Africa??
Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 07:37 PM (Vwz3I)

————

Probably escaped from a zoo.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 07:48 PM (u73oe)

39 Moop-Moop !

Posted by: JT at May 03, 2023 07:48 PM (T4tVD)

40 That dog birthday was stupid.

Posted by: Axeman at May 03, 2023 07:48 PM (krQz2)

41 I'm shocked the doggie birthday party table is still filled with goodies

Posted by: Skip at May 03, 2023 07:48 PM (xhxe8)

42 Panda caretaker must be the most fun job on earth.

Posted by: gourmand du jour at May 03, 2023 07:49 PM (jTmQV)

43 Raccoons don't "wash" their food, they wet it because they don't have salivary glands.

Posted by: JT at May 03, 2023 07:49 PM (T4tVD)

44 The lion in the lion/tiger fight is missing a leg. The dog says leave the handicapped guy alone.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 03, 2023 07:34 PM (eOEVl)


But then the handicapped guy bites the other in the ass.
Heh. Parting shot.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 07:49 PM (anj39)

45 Mercifully the period ends for NJ

Devils mustered ONE..ONE F'N SHOT the whole period

#bebetter

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 07:49 PM (CCSxw)

46 In before the guy that says "Pandamonium".

Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 07:49 PM (iayUP)

47 Raccoons don't "wash" their food, they wet it because they don't have salivary glands.
Posted by: JT

Put out cotton candy for them.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 07:51 PM (svkSf)

48 Turns out, pandas are not good mothers. Here a zoo tricks a panda into being a good mother.

https://bit.ly/3LSKpjQ

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at May 03, 2023 07:51 PM (FVME7)

49 The dogs climbing the tree and leaping for the ball are Malinois (Belgium Shepherds). Not only are they extremely agile and quick but are smarter than most Vice Presidents.

Posted by: Beartooth at May 03, 2023 07:51 PM (Zo+Li)

50 Burg Eltz! One of our favorite spots in Germany.

Posted by: Grateful at May 03, 2023 07:52 PM (IQ6Gq)

51 poon-poon!

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 07:53 PM (Vwz3I)

52 "Cellular network not available for voice calls."
T-mobile.
What's happening?
Posted by: KT at May 03, 2023 07:43 PM (rrtZS)

Had that last week with Verizon during the night
Posted by: A dude in MI"


It's pandamonium!

Posted by: guy who says "pandamonium" at May 03, 2023 07:53 PM (iayUP)

53 46 In before the guy that says "Pandamonium".
Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 07:49 PM (iayUP)

It's crazy out there...it's pandamonium...IT'S FANDAMONIUM...

Posted by: zombie Van Miller voice of the Bills at May 03, 2023 07:54 PM (CCSxw)

54 Important safety tip. Don't tease the elephant.

https://bit.ly/3AQh2Z8

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at May 03, 2023 07:54 PM (FVME7)

55 Are you going to wear them while riding your vespa?
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 07:45 PM

As long as they don't get in the way of the J. Crew Messenger Bag, it could happen.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 03, 2023 07:54 PM (a3Q+t)

56 Quite a spectacular sight now.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley

Way too cloudy here.

Posted by: JT at May 03, 2023 07:55 PM (T4tVD)

57 This game could get out of control if the Canes score here...
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 07:46 PM

Will Jersey be lucky to live through it?

Posted by: Adm. Josh Painter at May 03, 2023 07:57 PM (a3Q+t)

58 Meep meep!
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 03, 2023 07:44 PM

We'd wave, but it would interrupt our hand holding.

Posted by: Sea Otters at May 03, 2023 07:58 PM (a3Q+t)

59 Raccoons don't "wash" their food, they wet it because they don't have salivary glands.
Posted by: JT

Thanks, Wesley!
There goes my great line to women about why we have to shower first...
(Half raccoon)

Posted by: MkY at May 03, 2023 07:58 PM (cPGH3)

60 Seems to be something udderly wrong with that bull....
Posted by: Erik In Texas, Devout Anti-Communist at May 03, 2023 07:42 PM (SigcJ)


Used to be called Ferdinand. Then Bessie moved into the next field, and Ferdinand being Ferdinand, he jumped the fence.
It was higher than he thought.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 07:59 PM (anj39)

61
I'm on a Zoom meeting with simply shitty connections -- bad, bad audio. Nearing the point of me logging off, it is so bad.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 03, 2023 08:00 PM (pNxlR)

62 I bet those pandas would have never discovered that slide without some human showing them how it works. I understand they are the same way about reproducing.

Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 08:00 PM (iayUP)

63 I understand they are the same way about reproducing.
Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 08:00 PM (iayUP)

————

Maybe they could hire that sex therapist from yesterday.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 08:01 PM (u73oe)

64 I'm on a Zoom meeting with simply shitty connections -- bad, bad audio. Nearing the point of me logging off, it is so bad.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot

Wish I had thought of that excuse for dumping a meeting!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 08:02 PM (svkSf)

65 57 This game could get out of control if the Canes score here...
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 07:46 PM

Will Jersey be lucky to live through it?
Posted by: Adm. Josh Painter at May 03, 2023 07:57 PM (a3Q+t)

...They played stinkers against the Rangers in their first 2 games.

So yes, but they're lucky it's not single elimination.

Posted by: zombie Van Miller voice of the Bills at May 03, 2023 08:02 PM (CCSxw)

66 Someone asked earlier today for a skull emoji:

💀 💀 💀

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 03, 2023 08:02 PM (a3Q+t)

67 Watching coverage of what used to be a local crime (the Atlanta shooter of the day) I notice the Feds just jump right in there, with all the alphabet agencies in attendance.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:02 PM (lz5hY)

68 I bet those pandas would have never discovered that slide without some human showing them how it works. I understand they are the same way about reproducing.
Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 08:00 PM (iayUP)


You're saying somebody had to have sex with a panda for them to get it?

Posted by: Dr. T at May 03, 2023 08:03 PM (tp+tP)

69 /off Voice of the Bills sock

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:03 PM (CCSxw)

70 "If you don't listen you don't hear. You don't hear nothin when you're head's in bag, JACK!"
Manson skit from the Ben Stiller Show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5IrRe2F7qY

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at May 03, 2023 08:03 PM (ssESX)

71 "You're saying somebody had to have sex with a panda for them to get it?
Posted by: Dr. T"

I heard that they show them movies.

Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 08:04 PM (iayUP)

72 I bet those pandas would have never discovered that slide without some human showing them how it works. I understand they are the same way about reproducing.
Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 08:00 PM (iayUP)


You're saying somebody had to have sex with a panda for them to get it?
Posted by: Dr. T at May 03, 2023 08:03 PM


Yeah. Being the junior guy at the zoo is a real shitty job.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 08:04 PM (anj39)

73 Watching coverage of what used to be a local crime (the Atlanta shooter of the day) I notice the Feds just jump right in there, with all the alphabet agencies in attendance.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:02 PM (lz5hY)

—————-

Did he use a scary murder death gun?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 08:04 PM (u73oe)

74 So many typos I can't say what I think, JACK!

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at May 03, 2023 08:04 PM (ssESX)

75 Someone asked earlier today for a skull emoji:
----------
I already gave it to her, IYKWIM, and more:

☠️

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 08:05 PM (Vwz3I)

76 If we set up a GoFundMe to produce an educational PowerPoint on getting it on for the Café's favorite Asian bear, would that be Pandering for Pandas?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 03, 2023 08:05 PM (a3Q+t)

77 Now that is a legit castle.

Probably is a bitch to keep clean.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 03, 2023 08:06 PM (up/3i)

78 Look, if people stick their dicks in toasters, I’m pretty sure you could find someone to bang a panda.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 08:06 PM (u73oe)

79 73 Images of him captured entering the crime scene show a pistol and what looks like a messenger bag.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:06 PM (lz5hY)

80 Did he use a scary murder death gun?
Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 08:04 PM (u73oe)


The gun was bad enough; it was the chainsaw bayonet that sent everyone over the edge, though.

Posted by: Dr. T at May 03, 2023 08:06 PM (tp+tP)

81 Pandas are such losers.

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist - I only ever post innocuous shit at May 03, 2023 08:07 PM (Mzdiz)

82 If we set up a GoFundMe to produce an educational PowerPoint on getting it on for the Café's favorite Asian bear, would that be Pandering for Pandas?
Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 03, 2023 08:05 PM (a3Q+t)


Practically Perfect Panda Porn Pandering!

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 08:07 PM (anj39)

83 "Watching coverage of what used to be a local crime (the Atlanta shooter of the day) I notice the Feds just jump right in there, with all the alphabet agencies in attendance.
Posted by: bill in arkansas"

He was there with his mama, who say he a good boy, and she is now recovering from her gunshot wounds.

Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 08:07 PM (iayUP)

84
Impressive. I was able to spot Venus just before 8PM EDT, about 15 minutes before sundown. That's how bright it is.

It helped that the tree line was blocking the sun, otherwise the glare would've been too great.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (Mzdiz) at May 03, 2023 08:07 PM (Mzdiz)

85 Images of him captured entering the crime scene show a pistol and what looks like a messenger bag.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:06 PM (lz5hY)

—————-

That explains Ace’s light posting today.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 08:07 PM (u73oe)

86 I notice the Feds just jump right in there, with all the alphabet agencies in attendance.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door

I've thought about this. I couldn't understand the defund movement at all. It made no sense electorally. But with the Demons' patented cheat system, they don't have to worry about that anymore. So the vilification of the local police is to phase it out in favor of a NATIONAL police force. Lord knows the Fed Police will be straight shooting ham and eggers we can ALL trust.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 03, 2023 08:08 PM (0vFtj)

87 Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 08:05 PM

You still have your beaver?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 03, 2023 08:08 PM (a3Q+t)

88 You're saying somebody had to have sex with a panda for them to get it?
Posted by: Dr. T at May 03, 2023 08:03 PM


"Had to"?

Posted by: Hunter Biden at May 03, 2023 08:09 PM (tp+tP)

89 If we set up a GoFundMe to produce an educational PowerPoint on getting it on for the Café's favorite Asian bear, would that be Pandering for Pandas?
Posted by: Duncanthrax

You're being unbearable.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2023 08:09 PM (qoGsy)

90 78 Look, if people stick their dicks in toasters, I’m pretty sure you could find someone to bang a panda.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 08:06 PM (u73oe)

*blinks

People do that?

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 03, 2023 08:09 PM (OX9vb)

91 Look, if people stick their dicks in toasters, I’m pretty sure you could find someone to bang a panda.
Posted by: Duke Lowell

A Bud lite drinker ?

Posted by: JT at May 03, 2023 08:09 PM (T4tVD)

92 Carolina scores early in the 2nd.

Devils in a hole of their own making

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:10 PM (CCSxw)

93 You still have your beaver?
Posted by: Duncanthrax

I would never get rid of my pussy!!

Posted by: Zombie Mrs. Slocombe at May 03, 2023 08:10 PM (qoGsy)

94 Venus is putting on quite a show. Venus is nearing one of the inner loops of an inferior conjunction with the Sun, and it gets very close and very bright.

It's at magnitude -4.1 now, and getting brighter. Around the 12th, it will reach maximum altitude relative to the local horizon, and be around it's latest setting time, which will be pretty close to midnight in many DST time zones.

Quite a spectacular sight now.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (Mzdiz) at May 03, 2023 07:45 PM (Mzdiz)

Venus, Venus, Venus! Always going on about Venus.

What am I, chopped liver?

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at May 03, 2023 08:11 PM (Mzdiz)

95 "*blinks

People do that?
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs!"

Yeah. Crazy huh?

Posted by: the couchfucker at May 03, 2023 08:11 PM (iayUP)

96 You still have your beaver?
--------
There aren't any beaver emojis in e.g. Twitter that are copyable.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 08:11 PM (Vwz3I)

97 @43: "... they wet it because they don't have salivary glands."

From the Pennsylvania Game Commission:

"Myths have led people to believe that raccoons wash their food before they eat it because they do not have salivary glands. This washing behavior has nothing to do with cleanliness or moistening of food. Research has shown that this food-dousing behavior only occurs in raccoons raised in captivity. In the wild, raccoons do not exhibit food-washing behavior, but search for aquatic prey by dabbling and feeling along the stream or pond bottom. Their paws contain highly developed nerves, and the water actually makes their paws more sensitive. Dabbling behavior in water is a fixed motor pattern in raccoons. Since only captive raccoons exhibit food-dousing behavior, scientists believe that washing food is simply a substitute for normal dabbling behavior, which has no other outlet in captivity. Raccoons have well-developed salivary glands and have no need to wet their food before eating it."

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 03, 2023 08:12 PM (k1Qly)

98
What am I, chopped liver?
Posted by: Miley

No, okra.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 08:12 PM (svkSf)

99 Goalie change...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:12 PM (CCSxw)

100 Look, if people stick their dicks in toasters, I’m pretty sure you could find someone to bang a panda.
Posted by: Duke Lowell

*blinks

People do that?
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs!

There is no limit to the depravity of humans.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2023 08:12 PM (qoGsy)

101 Smithsonian Channel has a program on about dogs right now. First segments gets a fella a little misty.

Posted by: Javems at May 03, 2023 08:13 PM (AmoqO)

102 We have a raccoon hanging around who is so bold he comes onto the deck in broad daylight to eat birdseed. I need to trap him for 'relocation '.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:13 PM (Uv0D2)

103 I got your beaver right here

🦫🦫🦫🦫🦫

Posted by: the couchfucker at May 03, 2023 08:13 PM (iayUP)

104 Look, if people stick their dicks in toasters, I’m pretty sure you could find someone to bang a panda.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 08:06 PM (u73oe)

*blinks

People do that?
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 03, 2023 08:09 PM (OX9vb)
-----------
Only the ones with dicks.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at May 03, 2023 08:14 PM (2hlEI)

105 It was brought up that the Atlanta shooter was pissed because he couldn't get some Ativan. One time, during some divorce duress, I was prescribed some Ativan and I'm here to tell you one of those babies and two Stroh's long necks makes me the nicest guy on Earth. I guess five of them and an Olde English 40 is a bad mix.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:15 PM (lz5hY)

106 Devils strike back

3-1

Nice little move as he breaks in on net...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:15 PM (CCSxw)

107 yo wut sup

Posted by: Tesla Friedman at May 03, 2023 08:15 PM (BRHaw)

108 off sox

Posted by: rhennigantx at May 03, 2023 08:15 PM (BRHaw)

109 We have a raccoon hanging around who is so bold he comes onto the deck in broad daylight to eat birdseed. I need to trap him for 'relocation '.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:13 PM (Uv0D2)

We have awhile to go before the raccoons come for the corn, and 3 traps.

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at May 03, 2023 08:16 PM (Mzdiz)

110 What am I, chopped liver?
Posted by: Miley

No, okra.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 08:12 PM (svkSf)


RREEEEEE!!!!!! Someone said the O word.
Feed that to the stupid pandas. And wash it first...in fire!

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 08:16 PM (anj39)

111
"A hole of their own making." Sounds like a good catchphrase for trannies.

Or maybe an epitaph: He died in a suppurating, purulent hole of his own making.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (Mzdiz) at May 03, 2023 08:16 PM (Mzdiz)

112 Lord knows the Fed Police will be straight shooting ham and eggers we can ALL trust.
Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly

I realize this is a tin foil hat conspiracy angle, but after the last 5 years, nothing is beyond belief for me.

Also, Mrs Blutarski suggested that the Navy drag queen is being used to DEPRESS volunteers so the FED Monster will have no choice buy to reinstate the draft. Conspiracy theories all over my house.

I also realize that I commented on my own comment which is at the least conduct unbecoming. It just shows I really don't need you people, but I hope you'll let me stay.

Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 03, 2023 08:17 PM (0vFtj)

113 The pandas will not get any okra from me.

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at May 03, 2023 08:17 PM (Mzdiz)

114 Research has shown that this food-dousing behavior only occurs in raccoons raised in captivity. In the wild, raccoons do not exhibit food-washing behavior


This total bs. We have wild racoons all the time wash stolen cat food in the water bowl.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:17 PM (aD39U)

115 The BEE

Nashville Shooter Manifesto Placed In Secure Crate Alongside Motive For Vegas Shooting, Epstein Client List, Ark of The Covenant.

Posted by: rhennigantx at May 03, 2023 08:18 PM (BRHaw)

116 I started pacifying coons once the buzzards returned.
5 so far.

Posted by: MkY at May 03, 2023 08:18 PM (cPGH3)

117 I also realize that I commented on my own comment which is at the least conduct unbecoming. It just shows I really don't need you people, but I hope you'll let me stay.
Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 03, 2023 08:17 PM (0vFtj)


Always respond to the wisest commenter.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:18 PM (aD39U)

118 Nashville Shooter Manifesto Placed In Secure Crate Alongside Motive For Vegas Shooting, Epstein Client List, Ark of The Covenant.
Posted by: rhennigantx

And the Peking Man - don't forget about him.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2023 08:19 PM (qoGsy)

119 Nashville Shooter Manifesto Placed In Secure Crate Alongside Motive For Vegas Shooting, Epstein Client List, Ark of The Covenant.
Posted by: rhennigantx at May 03, 2023 08:18 PM (BRHaw)
---
Are Obama's college transcripts in there?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 03, 2023 08:19 PM (BpYfr)

120 So, they've captured the Atlanta shooter.

Wonder if he has a manifesto?

Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 08:19 PM (NpAcC)

121 111
"A hole of their own making." Sounds like a good catchphrase for trannies.

Or maybe an epitaph: He died in a suppurating, purulent hole of his own making.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (Mzdiz) at May 03, 2023 08:16 PM (Mzdiz)


Ewwwww...

That would put a quick end to Hockey Talk

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:20 PM (CCSxw)

122 We have a raccoon hanging around who is so bold he comes onto the deck in broad daylight to eat birdseed. I need to trap him for 'relocation '.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:13 PM (Uv0D2)

That's illegal in NC...ask me how I know.

Posted by: BignJames at May 03, 2023 08:20 PM (AwYPR)

123 I also realize that I commented on my own comment which is at the least conduct unbecoming. It just shows I really don't need you people, but I hope you'll let me stay.
Posted by: Blutarski, Gradually then Suddenly at May 03, 2023 08:17 PM
Sometimes I do that, but it's probably because I can't remember what I just said. I think.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:20 PM (Uv0D2)

124 112 Just a question. Reinstate the draft. Has the Navy ever had to rely on conscripts? The Marine Corps has (couple guys in my PI platoon). I'm sure the Air Force has never had to use the draft.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:20 PM (lz5hY)

125 Nashville Shooter Manifesto Placed In Secure Crate Alongside Motive For Vegas Shooting, Epstein Client List, Ark of The Covenant.
Posted by: rhennigantx

And the Peking Man - don't forget about him.
Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2023 08:19 PM (qoGsy)
-----------
Piltdown Man and the Cardiff Giant.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at May 03, 2023 08:20 PM (2hlEI)

126 @114: "This total bs."

They're probably overstating that particular point. Socialized around humans to the point of stealing food and taunting our pets through house windows is close enough.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 03, 2023 08:21 PM (k1Qly)

127 That's illegal in NC...ask me how I know.
Posted by: BignJames

SSS.

Posted by: MkY at May 03, 2023 08:21 PM (cPGH3)

128 Lab, not a golden.

Posted by: Eeyore at May 03, 2023 08:21 PM (TgBWG)

129 114 Research has shown that this food-dousing behavior only occurs in raccoons raised in captivity. In the wild, raccoons do not exhibit food-washing behavior


This total bs. We have wild racoons all the time wash stolen cat food in the water bowl.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:17 PM (aD39U)

It from Pennsylvania so...

You know the Domain of Fetterman

Of course it's bullshit

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:21 PM (CCSxw)

130 Breaking911 @Breaking911 · 21 minutes
BREAKING: Atlanta Shooter Deion Patterson Apprehended In Cobb County

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 08:22 PM (Vwz3I)

131
By the by,
Shoot
Shovel
Shut-up.
Many people have a hard time with the last.

Posted by: MkY at May 03, 2023 08:23 PM (cPGH3)

132 RNC Research@RNCResearch
"Do you hope to serve another term as secretary of transportation?"
Pete Buttigieg: "Right now, I've got my head down seeking to deliver"

-
Got his nose to something but it ain't the grindstone.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at May 03, 2023 08:23 PM (FVME7)

133 BignJames, I was born and raised in S.C. and if I'm not mistaken raccoons can still be hunted and killed. And eaten, if you have the right recipe.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:23 PM (Uv0D2)

134 If we set up a GoFundMe to produce an educational PowerPoint on getting it on for the Café's favorite Asian bear, would that be Pandering for Pandas?
Posted by: Duncanthrax

You're being unbearable.
Posted by: Tonypete
-------

You're traveling down the road to bruin.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 08:24 PM (ALsFH)

135 Nice to see Jersey finally showing up tonight...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:24 PM (CCSxw)

136 Beer break. Finally got both heads built to put on my Suburban engine. One gowed-up spark plug thread to chase, when I find a tap.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2023 08:24 PM (tkR6S)

137 Uhmmm..."Yellow Dog Breaks up fight between Tiger and Lion"...Baaaad tiger was picking on crippled(3 legged) Lion. Dogs sez..."No Bully near me Bully Boiiiiiie!"

Posted by: birddog at May 03, 2023 08:25 PM (uAI4S)

138 Apropos of nothing, I did kill the baby rats that the cat brought up by freezing them for a couple of hours. I hope that was as painless as was suggested. The other suggestion was to stamp or crush them but I couldn't do it. I have a horror of dying by crushing like say under some tank's track, so I couldn't do that to these little mammals.

So, thanks to whichever Moron suggested the freezer.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:25 PM (aD39U)

139 Pandas are not bears. They are a really stupid kind of weasel.

Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 08:25 PM (iayUP)

140 BignJames, I was born and raised in S.C. and if I'm not mistaken raccoons can still be hunted and killed. And eaten, if you have the right recipe.
Posted by: Eromero
--------

Ingredients (This is a Beaufort County recipe): A few hounds, a cool Fall night, a campfire, and a bottle to pass around.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 08:26 PM (ALsFH)

141 San Francisco District Attorney explains why security guard was not charged in deadly shooting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPploAgIdHA

Nordstrom to close both Downtown San Francisco stores, company confirms
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCY9dzTOmhw

"The planned closure of Nordstrom underscores the deteriorating situation in downtown San Francisco," said a mall spokesperson. "A growing number of retailers and businesses are leaving the area due to the unsafe conditions for customers, retailers, and employees, coupled with the fact that these significant issues are preventing an economic recovery of the area."

Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at May 03, 2023 08:26 PM (MFZ8i)

142 R A W S A L E R T S @rawsalerts · 31m
🚨#BREAKING: City of Dallas disrupted by large cyberattack impacting multiple Services
📌#Dallas | #Texas
The City of Dallas, in Texas, experienced a large cyberattack that affected many important computer systems. As a result, it became difficult for the city to function properly. For instance, the computer-assisted dispatch system used by 911 dispatchers was not working, so they had to write down reports and give them to officers manually instead of submitting them electronically. To avoid the attack from spreading, the city had to turn off some of its IT systems.

🚨#UPDATE: Officials in the city said it is working to isolate the ransomware to prevent its spread, to remove the ransomware from infected servers, and to restore any services currently impacted as the image show the message from the royal ransomware attack

https://tinyurl.com/3at9zn2z

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 08:27 PM (Vwz3I)

143 BignJames, I was born and raised in S.C. and if I'm not mistaken raccoons can still be hunted and killed. And eaten, if you have the right recipe.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:23 PM (Uv0D2)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's a season...you just can't "relocate" 'em.

Posted by: BignJames at May 03, 2023 08:27 PM (AwYPR)

144 Got his nose to something but it ain't the grindstone.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at May 03, 2023 08:23 PM (FVME7)

—————-

Crotch feeding his husband.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 08:27 PM (u73oe)

145 I don't really remember the Banana Splits. I'll have to ask my younger brother, I know he watched them. Chronologically, I think the equivalent for me would be Rocky and Bullwinkle. (The greatest show in TV history.)

Posted by: Eeyore at May 03, 2023 08:27 PM (TgBWG)

146 Awww. Golden retriever thinking he's rescuing a duck from drowning is really sweet.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 08:28 PM (NpAcC)

147 Raccoons can be very mean little summbitches.A guy in my department in the mill in Ohio was an avid coon hunter. Subscribed to "Full Cry", a magazine for coon hunters, probably with circulation in the dozens. Had five or six hounds, and very high vet bills. Didn't fuck around if a raccoon attacked one of his dogs. .357 for the win. He was from Kentucky.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:29 PM (lz5hY)

148
Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's a season...you just can't "relocate" 'em.
Posted by: BignJames
-----

'Relocation' is a euphemism that we use here so that the AWFL's don't get all worked up.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 08:29 PM (ALsFH)

149 "The planned closure of Nordstrom underscores the deteriorating situation in downtown San Francisco," said a mall spokesperson. "A growing number of retailers and businesses are leaving the area due to the unsafe conditions for customers, retailers, and employees, coupled with the fact that these significant issues are preventing an economic recovery of the area."
Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at May 03, 2023 08:26 PM (MFZ8i)

Good. More Please.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 03, 2023 08:29 PM (R/m4+)

150 124 112 Just a question. Reinstate the draft. Has the Navy ever had to rely on conscripts? The Marine Corps has (couple guys in my PI platoon). I'm sure the Air Force has never had to use the draft.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:20 PM
WW II, maybe Korea. Had a a Sgt Maj at Ft. Jackson tell me during Vietnam the Parris Island bus had a few empty seats and the Gunny was offered any three he wanted of the brandnew draftees. He chose 'em and said get on the bus. They said where's it going and he told them Parris Island. They said we was drafted into the Army, pal. And he said you were DRAFTED, get on the bus, asshole.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:29 PM (Uv0D2)

151 🚨#UPDATE: Officials in the city said it is working to isolate the ransomware to prevent its spread, to remove the ransomware from infected servers, and to restore any services currently impacted as the image show the message from the royal ransomware attack

----------
So, some city employee clicked on a "Congradualtions, you have won prize TV!!" e-mail?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at May 03, 2023 08:29 PM (2hlEI)

152 I don't really remember the Banana Splits. I'll have to ask my younger brother, I know he watched them. Chronologically, I think the equivalent for me would be Rocky and Bullwinkle

If I recall correctly, the banana splits was like th3 monkees, but with furries?

Posted by: BunkerintheBurbs at May 03, 2023 08:30 PM (+M04z)

153 I don't really remember the Banana Splits. I'll have to ask my younger brother, I know he watched them. . . .
Posted by: Eeyore

Late 60's/early 70's

https://youtu.be/Tf7Hd8npPUU

Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2023 08:30 PM (qoGsy)

154 Delay of Game on Devils

Canes to the PP

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:30 PM (CCSxw)

155 And he said you were DRAFTED, get on theMY bus, asshole.
Posted by: Eromero

fify

Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2023 08:32 PM (qoGsy)

156 dozens of lab tests and auto shop experience proves it as well. Older engines are more likely to be damaged than newer ones, but the damage is still there. AND its not any sort of environmental benefit. Its just throwing money at corn farmers.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 03, 2023 07:04 PM (0hOvj)

Oh, man. The E-15 killed your gas guzzler? I guess you have to buy an ev!

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at May 03, 2023 08:33 PM (wyok+)

157 Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:29 PM (lz5hY)
******
I think raccoons are the #1 carrier of rabies.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 08:33 PM (NpAcC)

158 PP over

Devils avoid falling 3 behind

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:34 PM (CCSxw)

159 Yeah, I recall guys relating every tenth inductee, of some batches, being sent off to PI.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 08:34 PM (ALsFH)

160 I know that the disaster that was the last two seasons of GoT has been beat to death but, here is yet another vtuber rewrite of the show that is way better than what was presented.

https://ytube.io/3dxg

Also, the tuber might be a tranny, IDK, but still some vastly better writing than the presented.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:35 PM (aD39U)

161 Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's a season...you just can't "relocate" 'em.
Posted by: BignJames at May 03, 2023 08:27 PM
When I say 'relocate', I guess I mean like the 'businessmen' say 'You don't see that guy no more.'

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:35 PM (Uv0D2)

162 155 Didn't even get the common courtesy of a bus or a reach around. Flew straight into MCAS Beaufort with an awaiting cattle car.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:35 PM (lz5hY)

163 Fiber optic cuts can take down cell service. They usually take time to fix, like 24 hours.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at May 03, 2023 08:35 PM (u7leW)

164 ******
I think raccoons are the #1 carrier of rabies.
Posted by: redridinghood
-----

I become *very* wary when I see a raccoon behaving in any odd way. Just seeing one around during the day sets off an alarm.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 08:35 PM (ALsFH)

165 This total bs. We have wild racoons all the time wash stolen cat food in the water bowl.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:17 PM (aD39U)

Gotta get the cat cooties off it, yannow.

Posted by: The Raccoons at May 03, 2023 08:36 PM (tkR6S)

166 Oh, I missed a penalty call on the Canes...

Devils have a chance to really tighten this game up

4 minutes left in the 2nd

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:36 PM (CCSxw)

167 So, thanks to whichever Moron suggested the freezer.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:25 PM (aD39U)
-------

Gulp.

So were you planning to throw that freezer out anyway?

Posted by: bluebell - NoVaMoMe registration now open! at May 03, 2023 08:36 PM (pTb/Z)

168 I have been told that an animal that is eating is not rabid.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:37 PM (aD39U)

169 City of Oakland has been under a ransomware attack for over a month.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 03, 2023 08:38 PM (EZebt)

170 So were you planning to throw that freezer out anyway?
Posted by: bluebell - NoVaMoMe registration now open! at May 03, 2023 08:36 PM (pTb/Z)


Shh. Herself is none the wiser about it.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:38 PM (aD39U)

171 And he said you were DRAFTED, get on the MY bus, asshole.
Posted by: Eromero

fify
Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2023 08:32 PM

Did you know the wheels on school buses go 'round and 'round?

Posted by: Kamala! 2022! 2024! 2028! David Hogg 2032! at May 03, 2023 08:38 PM (a3Q+t)

172 I have been told that an animal that is eating is not rabid.
Posted by: G'rump928
--------

Counter arguments: Tank Abrams, Jerry Nadler

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 08:39 PM (ALsFH)

173 Shh. Herself is none the wiser about it.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:38 PM (aD39U)
--------

Oh no no no no no no no no, don't do that to her! You've got to disinfect that dang thing. Better yet, toss it and get a new one.

Posted by: bluebell - NoVaMoMe registration now open! at May 03, 2023 08:40 PM (pTb/Z)

174 Devils waste the PP...

Canes have to feel a little better about getting out of this period with a two goal lead

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:40 PM (CCSxw)

175 First husband went through the Oakland Induction Center during the Vietnam war. They went down the line and picked out some to draft into the Marines.

Center had been bombed, so they did the hearing test with construction noise. If you failed at any test, you were done. They wanted the draftees, not volunteers.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at May 03, 2023 08:40 PM (u7leW)

176 "I notice the Feds just jump right in there, with all the alphabet agencies in attendance." 300 hundred of them, allll armored up, carrying mass murder Ar1500's...for hours and hours after the shooter has fled, or is dead.
Why do 100's of cops arrive and hang out at the "Scene" when the crime is over, the coroner has taken over...and the Perps are out loose in the city? Why are they not out covering the "Zone" instead of Blitzing, then Huddling? They had 30 motorcycle cops that all arrived, and parked their bikes...why weren't they spread out to 30 intersections, eyes open looking for the dude?

Posted by: birddog at May 03, 2023 08:42 PM (uAI4S)

177 Here's something interesting I learned about bats:

"if one of these animals is carried alive, three times round a house and then nailed outside of the window with the head downwards, it will have all the effects of a countercharm: they assert, also, that the bat is a most excellent preservative for sheepfolds, being first carried three times round them, and then hung up by the foot over the lintel of the door."

Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 08:42 PM (iayUP)

178 So, some city employee clicked on a "Congradualtions, you have won prize TV!!" e-mail?

It's fine to click on that.

Posted by: The Nigerian Prince at May 03, 2023 08:42 PM (Xrfse)

179 As the horn sounds to end the 2nd

3-1 Canes

Jersey playing much better, but the Canes are too seasoned at playoff hockey.

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 08:43 PM (CCSxw)

180 ZeroHedge wet dream!

zerohedge @zerohedge · 33m
Do we see gold record high tonight.[?] Only $7 away

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 08:43 PM (Vwz3I)

181 @165 I remember a series of "Racookin" videos on youtube, joke recipes for things the racoons find in the garbage. I thought they were pretty funny.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at May 03, 2023 08:43 PM (ssESX)

182 >133 BignJames, I was born and raised in S.C. and if I'm not mistaken raccoons can still be hunted and killed. And eaten, if you have the right recipe.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:23 PM (Uv0D2)

I'd have to be *really* hungry to eat a trash panda.

Posted by: Heavy Meta at May 03, 2023 08:43 PM (gryET)

183 Why are they not out covering the "Zone" instead of Blitzing, then Huddling?

Donuts?

Posted by: The Nigerian Prince at May 03, 2023 08:43 PM (Xrfse)

184 I've actually fought a raccoon over a bowl of cat food. Fucker tried to pull it out of my hands. No hissing or anything. Just pure attitude.

So I shot the fucker.

Rabies... who cares.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 03, 2023 08:45 PM (Q4IgG)

185 I can't believe that dog actually got the ball down from that tree. Good for him!

Posted by: Emmie at May 03, 2023 08:45 PM (Emce2)

186 Heh. I can still remember our beloved Senior Drill Instructor, saying he would never hold anything against any non volunteering faggot draftees, or anybody who was a Reservist who wanted to get back to his job sucking cock three weekends a month.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:45 PM (lz5hY)

187 162 155 Didn't even get the common courtesy of a bus or a reach around. Flew straight into MCAS Beaufort with an awaiting cattle car.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:35 PM (
The bus at Ft Jackson was probably a gray USN bus. I can remember the cattle cars in the 60s at GITMO and PR. Got to ride them at Parris Island in the late 70s. Sorta reminds a person of their position in the big picture.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:47 PM (Uv0D2)

188 My daughter, Ronne Troup, was on Danger Island-Banana Splits.

Posted by: Dr. Joe Early at May 03, 2023 08:48 PM (Nn3xT)

189 Heh. I can still remember our beloved Senior Drill Instructor, saying he would never hold anything against any non volunteering faggot draftees, or anybody who was a Reservist who wanted to get back to his job sucking cock three weekends a month.
Posted by: bill in arkansas

The funniest men alive that you DARE. NOT. LAUGH. OR. SMILE. AT.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2023 08:48 PM (qoGsy)

190 >178 So, some city employee clicked on a "Congradualtions, you have won prize TV!!" e-mail?

It's fine to click on that.

Posted by: The Nigerian Prince at May 03, 2023 08:42 PM (Xrfse)

Happened to my company in 2021. It was no joke. FBI was involved. Forensic analysis traced it back to a PC at one of our facilities in South Texas - email attachment. Infiltrated and mapped the entire network before installing the ransomware package.

Posted by: Heavy Meta at May 03, 2023 08:48 PM (gryET)

191 Oh no no no no no no no no, don't do that to her! You've got to disinfect that dang thing. Better yet, toss it and get a new one.

Yeah, pellet to the back of the brain pan is much better than losing a freezer.

Posted by: MkY at May 03, 2023 08:48 PM (cPGH3)

192 Oh no no no no no no no no, don't do that to her! You've got to disinfect that dang thing. Better yet, toss it and get a new one.
Posted by: bluebell - NoVaMoMe registration now open! at May 03, 2023 08:40 PM (pTb/Z)

I put them in a clean ziplock for their big sleep.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:49 PM (aD39U)

193 Mom of the Atlanta shooter said, "The damn VA gave him some messed up medication, and all he wanted was an Ativan,”

Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 08:50 PM (NpAcC)

194 wow, that array of Atlanta officials inspires real confidence

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 08:50 PM (us2H3)

195 We used to feed some raccoons. They do hang around during the day. Our front porch had gaps in the boards for the floor. The little ones would get under the porch and grab the feet of the big ones while they ate. There was slways at least one "Stumpy" with just part of a tail. And they eat rats. Since we were a quarter mile from the transfer station, that was a big plus.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at May 03, 2023 08:50 PM (u7leW)

196 Heh. I can still remember our beloved Senior Drill Instructor, saying he would never hold anything against any non volunteering faggot draftees, or anybody who was a Reservist who wanted to get back to his job sucking cock three weekends a month.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:45 PM (lz5hY)

——————

I’m pretty sure that “Poetic turn of phrase is a class in drill instructor school. Also, “How to hyphenate anything with the word fuck.”

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 08:50 PM (u73oe)

197 173 Shh. Herself is none the wiser about it.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:38 PM (aD39U)
--------

Oh no no no no no no no no, don't do that to her! You've got to disinfect that dang thing. Better yet, toss it and get a new one.
Posted by: bluebell - NoVaMoMe registration now open! at May 03, 2023 08:40 PM
Mrs. E was not happy about the snakes in the freezer. I learned discretion really is the wiser path.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:51 PM (Uv0D2)

198 Mom of the Atlanta shooter said, "The damn VA gave him some messed up medication, and all he wanted was an Ativan,”
------------
I think someone here said he was Coast Guard.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 08:51 PM (Vwz3I)

199 >193 Mom of the Atlanta shooter said, "The damn VA gave him some messed up medication, and all he wanted was an Ativan,”

Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 08:50 PM (NpAcC)

I go, "Mom, just get me a Pepsi, please? All I want's a Pepsi"
And she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi
Just one Pepsi
And she wouldn't give it to me
Just a Pepsi!

Posted by: Suicidal Tendancies at May 03, 2023 08:52 PM (gryET)

200 Atlanta police breaking their arm, patting themeselves on the back

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 08:52 PM (us2H3)

201 I had a raccoon hat when I was a kid. It was because of Daniel Boone show, not Davy Crockett. Fess Parker IIRC.

Posted by: polynikes at May 03, 2023 08:52 PM (acrwL)

202 187 Do you know that a Marine Corps cattle car trailer is designed to handle an entire platoon of equipped infantry. Do you know at Camp Geiger in the late 60's they devised a way to get a whole company aboard, with some idiot NASCAR wannabe driving.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:53 PM (lz5hY)

203
wow, that array of Atlanta officials inspires real confidence
Posted by: REDACTED

They're very competent at congratulating each other.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2023 08:53 PM (63Dwl)

204 A commenter at Insty's just said he was Coast Guard too.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 08:53 PM (Vwz3I)

205 Ativan is some messed up medication.

Posted by: polynikes at May 03, 2023 08:53 PM (acrwL)

206 177 Here's something interesting I learned about bats:

"if one of these animals is carried alive, three times round a house and then nailed outside of the window with the head downwards, it will have all the effects of a countercharm: they assert, also, that the bat is a most excellent preservative for sheepfolds, being first carried three times round them, and then hung up by the foot over the lintel of the door."
Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 08:42 PM
Who are you who is so learned in the ways of necromancy?

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:54 PM (Uv0D2)

207 This total bs. We have wild racoons all the time wash stolen cat food in the water bowl.
Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 03, 2023 08:17 PM (aD39U)
---
Yes, it's BS. While fishing, I've watched racoons dunk their food in the river. It's funny, but often animals don't react to humans in boats if you're quiet. You can be 10 feet from them and they're not spooked.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at May 03, 2023 08:54 PM (sWM8x)

208 I had all Davy Crockett stuff; hat, toy gun, play tent. Still have the picture somewhere. Should put it out on the internet.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at May 03, 2023 08:55 PM (u7leW)

209 184 I've actually fought a raccoon over a bowl of cat food. Fucker tried to pull it out of my hands. No hissing or anything. Just pure attitude.

So I shot the fucker.

Rabies... who cares.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 03, 2023 08:45 PM (Q4IgG)



I'm going with "mean mother fucker", Alex

fer da towsand

Posted by: coon at May 03, 2023 08:55 PM (us2H3)

210 Heh. I can still remember our beloved Senior Drill Instructor, saying he would never hold anything against any non volunteering faggot draftees, or anybody who was a Reservist who wanted to get back to his job sucking cock three weekends a month.
Posted by: bill
-------

NG's and ER's caught a lot of shit during basic/AIT. I do, however, recall a bit of graffiti scrawled on a wall in a latrine, 'Call me anything you want, but in 30 days, call me long distance. Signed, ER'

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 08:56 PM (ALsFH)

211 Do you know that a Marine Corps cattle car trailer is designed to handle an entire platoon of equipped infantry.
-------------
British military was, IIRC, 30 men or 10 horses.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 08:56 PM (Vwz3I)

212
I had a raccoon hat when I was a kid. It was because of Daniel Boone show, not Davy Crockett. Fess Parker IIRC.
Posted by: polynikes

Fess Parker played both Davy Crockett AND Daniel Boone.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2023 08:56 PM (63Dwl)

213 Daniel Boone was a man, was a big man, but Davy Crockett was king of the wild frontier.

Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 08:56 PM (iayUP)

214 Are we not calling them Garbage Pandas anymore? Did I miss the memo?

Posted by: Truck Monkey Report at May 03, 2023 08:57 PM (flINI)

215 Of course King of the Hill had an episode on Raccoons.

Posted by: polynikes at May 03, 2023 08:57 PM (acrwL)

216 Mrs. E was not happy about the snakes in the freezer. I learned discretion really is the wiser path.
Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 08:51 PM (Uv0D2)
----------

Oh dear. This appears to be a widespread problem. I don't want to know more.

Posted by: bluebell - NoVaMoMe registration now open! at May 03, 2023 08:57 PM (pTb/Z)

217 I had all Davy Crockett stuff; hat, toy gun, play tent. Still have the picture somewhere. Should put it out on the internet.
Posted by: Notsothoreau
-------

Hopalong Cassidy.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 08:57 PM (ALsFH)

218 211 French boxcar, circa WW1 forty Hommes, 8 Chevaux.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 08:58 PM (lz5hY)

219 >214 Are we not calling them Garbage Pandas anymore? Did I miss the memo?

Posted by: Truck Monkey Report at May 03, 2023 08:57 PM (flINI)

Point of clarification - I believe the proper nomenclature is 'trash panda'.

Posted by: Suicidal Tendancies at May 03, 2023 08:58 PM (gryET)

220 / 221 - whatever it takes

Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2023 08:58 PM (yUjc0)

221 (Some) senior enlisted people use profanity as punctuation. Diagram it out, and sentences can be quite complex, with commas (in particular), periods, dashes, semi-colons, colons, even quotation marks replaced by a choice profanity.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 03, 2023 08:59 PM (a3Q+t)

222 Daniel Boone was a man, was a big man, but Davy Crockett was king of the wild frontier.
Posted by: fd
------

Dude, I grinned down a bear.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 08:59 PM (ALsFH)

223 Fess Parker played both Davy Crockett AND Daniel Boone.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2023 08:56 PM (63Dwl

Did not know that, I know it was Daniel Boone because of the theme song:

Posted by: polynikes at May 03, 2023 09:00 PM (acrwL)

224 "Who are you who is so learned in the ways of necromancy?
Posted by: Eromero

The ancient wisdom, while somewhat unreliable, is available to all on Gutenberg dot com.

Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 09:00 PM (iayUP)

225 Nice one, Doof!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 09:00 PM (u73oe)

226 214 Are we not calling them Garbage Pandas anymore? Did I miss the memo?
---
Our minor league team is the Trash Pandas.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at May 03, 2023 09:00 PM (sWM8x)

227 Dude, I grinned down a bear.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc.

Oops. Boone grinned down a bear.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 09:00 PM (ALsFH)

228 saw a coon drown a dog in a creek

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:01 PM (us2H3)

229 211 Do you know that a Marine Corps cattle car trailer is designed to handle an entire platoon of equipped infantry.
-------------
British military was, IIRC, 30 men or 10 horses.
Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 08:56 PM
One of the WW I veteran's organizations wa The Order Of the 40 and 8. 40 men or 8 horses. Pappy Eromero was eligible for that after WW II.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 09:02 PM (Uv0D2)

230 I drowned a dog in Rio, just to watch him die.

Posted by: Coon at May 03, 2023 09:03 PM (sWM8x)

231 Nice one, Doof!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 09:00 PM (u73oe)

Thanks, brother. Nice to stick the landing

Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2023 09:03 PM (yUjc0)

232 French boxcar, circa WW1 forty Hommes, 8 Chevaux.
------------
In France, the horses were for eating!

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 09:03 PM (Vwz3I)

233 I got a coon dick around here someplace

you aint a redneck sans one

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:04 PM (us2H3)

234 saw a coon drown a dog in a creek
Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:01 PM (us2H3)
*******
That's awful.
Tell me you tried to save the dog.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 09:05 PM (NpAcC)

235 In France, the horses were for eating!
Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 09:03 PM (Vwz3I)

—————

Go boil your bottoms over a silly person, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!

Posted by: French Knight at May 03, 2023 09:06 PM (u73oe)

236 233 I got a coon dick around here someplace

you aint a redneck sans one
Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:04 PM
Lost mine in a D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 09:07 PM (Uv0D2)

237 Tell me you tried to save the dog.
Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 09:05 PM (NpAcC)


I tried to save dog

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:07 PM (us2H3)

238 There was that Twilight Zone episode where that coon hunter drowned trying to save his dog from a coon.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 03, 2023 09:07 PM (R/m4+)

239 Oops. Boone grinned down a bear.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 09:00 PM (ALsFH)

Crocket tried to grin a raccoon out of a tree, but was mistaken and figured out it was just a lump in the trunk when the bark started peeling off

Posted by: Kindltot at May 03, 2023 09:07 PM (xhaym)

240 Had the Italian Beef, dipped, with the mild green peppers in ChiTown today. Just as tasty as I remember from the 1970s, but drastically more expensive, and a bit smaller. If I had the time, and the $$$, there are about 100 restaurants in just that one neighborhood I'd like to try. But I don't.

Crazy drivers in Chicago. The only thing they seem to respect are pedestrians, who step confidently into the street no matter what is going on in traffic. The pedestrians must go full Ratso Rizzo if they don't get enough respect from cars going 30MPH. I won't try to test them.

Posted by: gp Back From Chicago at May 03, 2023 09:08 PM (MvF+J)

241 BTW, now that I think on it the Brits were 40 and 8 too.

Stupid brain. memory!!!!!

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 09:08 PM (Vwz3I)

242 176 "I notice the Feds just jump right in there, with all the alphabet agencies in attendance." 300 hundred of them, allll armored up, carrying mass murder Ar1500's...for hours and hours after the shooter has fled, or is dead. Why do 100's of cops arrive and hang out at the "Scene" when the crime is over, the coroner has taken over...and the Perps are out loose in the city? Why are they not out covering the "Zone" instead of Blitzing, then Huddling? They had 30 motorcycle cops that all arrived, and parked their bikes...why weren't they spread out to 30 intersections, eyes open looking for the dude?

Posted by: birddog at May 03, 2023 08:42 PM (uAI4S)


No one on-scene was issuing orders to all of those people. No one but maybe Patton could hope to issue clear orders to the hundreds of cops and deputies arriving in response to the initial emergency calls. Plus some are police, some are sheriff's deputies, some are SWAT, and each org has different divisions, precincts, and so on. The on-scene commander is not going to get a list of everyone who's there and know who could do what.

Posted by: Gref at May 03, 2023 09:08 PM (AMIL/)

243 Mmmm. Chevaux sous vide. Please pass the Grey Poupon.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 09:09 PM (lz5hY)

244 Mrs. E was not happy about the snakes in the freezer. I learned discretion really is the wiser path.
Posted by: Eromero

Did you know that putting scorpions in the freezer doesn't kill them? Neither did I, but, I learned.
After seeing them move after being in the freezer for a week I started pouring isopropyl into the baggie. That worked.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 09:09 PM (eJpJx)

245 The ancient wisdom, while somewhat unreliable, is available to all on Gutenberg dot com.
Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 09:00 PM (iayUP)

What book, if I may ask? And would it be the same one that talked of women being "fascinated by cheese," should one want to bewitch her? I can't remember what that was.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 03, 2023 09:10 PM (OX9vb)

246 notsothoreau

Love to see you model that Davy Crockett gear. Or just the picture.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at May 03, 2023 09:11 PM (u82oZ)

247 The Dallas hack is disturbing, dress rehearsal fo an op?

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 09:12 PM (Uv0D2)

248 Coons around here are either "persistent" or "tangential." The persistent ones need killing.

We have persistent raccoons.

Thus... killing. Simple.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 03, 2023 09:13 PM (Q4IgG)

249 Posted by: gp Back From Chicago at May 03, 2023 09:08 PM (MvF+J)

Italian beef in Chicago is sublime. I'd go with the spicy giardiniera myself, but that's not a deal breaker. I have a passable copycat recipe to make at home. Might have to do that soon.

Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2023 09:13 PM (yUjc0)

250 "What book, if I may ask? And would it be the same one that talked of women being "fascinated by cheese," should one want to bewitch her? I can't remember what that was.
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs!"


Pliny's Natural History Volume 5. I'm slowly making my way thru the whole thing. He does address cheese, but not in that way, as I recall.

Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 09:13 PM (iayUP)

251 Mmmm. Chevaux sous vide. Please pass the Grey Poupon.
------------
In the '70s there was a Shriner's convention in Montreal at the same time a scandal broke about the city's Mafia using horse meat in restaurants instead of, I assume, beef.

There was a newspaper cartoon with a couple at a restaurant, with the man wearing a Shriner's cap, and her saying, "The Cheval Mort à la Catroni sounds good, dear."

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 09:15 PM (Vwz3I)

252 Why do 100's of cops arrive and hang out at the "Scene" when the crime is over, the coroner has taken over..

-

Time and a half, that's why. They usually get supper brought in, too.

Posted by: Biden 2022: I am making sure he does not become the next president again at May 03, 2023 09:15 PM (Rk8QN)

253 Wait, I can bewitch my wife with cheese? Learn something new every day.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 09:15 PM (u73oe)

254 I had all Davy Crockett stuff; hat, toy gun, play tent. Still have the picture somewhere. Should put it out on the internet.
Posted by: Notsothoreau
-------

Hopalong Cassidy.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 08:57 PM (ALsFH)
***

Sheesh! Rich people.
I had a stick for a rifle to shoot imaginary bears.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 09:15 PM (anj39)

255 Italian beef in Chicago is sublime. I'd go with the spicy giardiniera myself, but that's not a deal breaker. I have a passable copycat recipe to make at home. Might have to do that soon.
Posted by: Doof

I read Giardia and to look again.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 09:15 PM (eJpJx)

256 Evenin' Horde!

Just finished watching Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves. Bit of a slow start, but definitely worth a watch. And it has one of the best easter eggs I've seen in a movie in quite a while (at least for me. YMMV).

Posted by: No One Of Consequence at May 03, 2023 09:16 PM (uPgE/)

257 Trans pedophile who sexually abused her own daughter, 7, for warped porn videos is inmate of New Jersey women's prison 'despite still having PENIS - and wants to marry trans accomplice so they can share a cell'


This is today's America and what it stands for, as sanctioned by the government. This is what the Gabe Malors of the world wanted. This is the right side of history.


https://tinyurl.com/4rm5d655

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at May 03, 2023 09:17 PM (VmvFe)

258 I had a stick for a rifle to shoot imaginary bears.
Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 09:15 PM (anj39)

————-

Well, la dee da. Look at Mister One Percenter and his imaginary bears.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2023 09:17 PM (u73oe)

259 Thus... killing. Simple.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 03, 2023 09:13 PM (Q4IgG)

you do eat them, right ?

rack of coon is good eating

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:17 PM (us2H3)

260 I read Giardia and to look again.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 09:15 PM (eJpJx)

Wasn't he Mayor of NYC once?

Posted by: The Raccoons at May 03, 2023 09:18 PM (tkR6S)

261 Why do 100's of cops arrive and hang out at the "Scene" when the crime is over, the coroner has taken over..

-

Time and a half, that's why. They usually get supper brought in, too.
Posted by: Biden 2022: I am making sure he does not become the next president again at May 03, 2023 09:15 PM (Rk8QN)
***

And they don't have to be out on patrol for awhile. My cop neighbor told me once the competition among the cops was always to be the second on the scene.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 09:19 PM (anj39)

262 Pliny's Natural History Volume 5. I'm slowly making my way thru the whole thing. He does address cheese, but not in that way, as I recall.
Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 09:13 PM (iayUP)

Oh, yes, I should have known, from book thread. I'ma have to get that.

A quick Brave search brought the cheese thing right up, though. "You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese." In The Complete Book of Magic & Witchcraft by Kathryn Paulsen.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 03, 2023 09:19 PM (OX9vb)

263 Canes score with 9 and change to go

4-1

This game is over for the Devils

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:19 PM (CCSxw)

264 262 Pliny's Natural History Volume 5. I'm slowly making my way thru the whole thing. He does address cheese, but not in that way, as I recall.
Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 09:13 PM (iayUP)

Oh, yes, I should have known, from book thread. I'ma have to get that.

A quick Brave search brought the cheese thing right up, though. "You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese." In The Complete Book of Magic & Witchcraft by Kathryn Paulsen.
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 03, 2023 09:19 PM (OX9vb)

---------------------------

That's why I never go anywhere without some string cheese in my pocket!

Posted by: No One Of Consequence at May 03, 2023 09:20 PM (uPgE/)

265 Yikes, all this talk of horse meat and the Kentucky Derby is this weekend. 🙉 🏇

Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 09:20 PM (NpAcC)

266 Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:19 PM (CCSxw)

so, you like hockey, huh ?

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:21 PM (us2H3)

267 251 My Mom told me the story of Grandpa coming home during the Depression with a large piece of meat. He and Grandma butchered it and there were many excellent stews for a large family. Grandpa finally 'fessed up about 1948 and said they were eating Flicka.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 09:21 PM (lz5hY)

268 "I read Giardia and to look again."

No worries, there's a restaurant a half block away that has Giardia on a spit. Halal too.

Posted by: gp Back From Chicago at May 03, 2023 09:21 PM (MvF+J)

269 Canes score with 9 and change to go

4-1

This game is over for the Devils
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:19 PM (CCSxw)

Me during the 1st round: "Caps aren't playing, this feels weird."

Me during the 2nd round: "Caps aren't playing, this feels normal."

Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2023 09:23 PM (yUjc0)

270 ""You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese." In The Complete Book of Magic & Witchcraft by Kathryn Paulsen.
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs!"

Now you tell me. That would have been gouda information 29 years or so ago.

Posted by: fd at May 03, 2023 09:23 PM (iayUP)

271 A quick Brave search brought the cheese thing right up, though. "You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese." In The Complete Book of Magic & Witchcraft by Kathryn Paulsen.
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs!

Apparently, I have been doing this all wrong. I should try: "Hello there, is it brie you're looking for?"

Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2023 09:24 PM (qoGsy)

272 266 Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:19 PM (CCSxw)

so, you like hockey, huh ?
Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:21 PM (us2H3)

Oui...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:24 PM (CCSxw)

273 Yikes, all this talk of horse meat and the Kentucky Derby is this weekend. 🙉 🏇
Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 09:20 PM (NpAcC)


Heh. Apropos to nothing at all...
I just read that Taco Time is bringing back the Taco Burger.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 09:25 PM (anj39)

274 265 Yikes, all this talk of horse meat and the Kentucky Derby is this weekend. 🙉 🏇
Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 09:20 PM (NpAcC)

I had raw horse once in Paris, late 70's

I've bought and sold many French gilt zinc horseheads

they hung over Parisian buther shops that sold horse meat

I've also had gilt bull's heads

people loved them, sold like hotcakes

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:25 PM (us2H3)

275 My Mom told me the story of Grandpa coming home during the Depression with a large piece of meat. He and Grandma butchered it and there were many excellent stews for a large family. Grandpa finally 'fessed up about 1948 and said they were eating Flicka.
Posted by: bill in arkansas

USDA says yes since 2016 so no problem chowing down on Flicka!
Better than bugs too!

https://is.gd/lW1hQs

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 09:25 PM (eJpJx)

276 265 Yikes, all this talk of horse meat and the Kentucky Derby is this weekend. 🙉 🏇
Posted by: redridinghood at May 03, 2023 09:20 PM (NpAcC)

Speaking of The Derby

It's the 50th anniversary of Big Red's Triple Crown season.

Track Records at all three venues...that I believe have not been broken.

There will never be another Secretariat...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:27 PM (CCSxw)

277 Horse lovers cheddar get out of here, y’all are animals!

Posted by: Piper at May 03, 2023 09:27 PM (ZdaMQ)

278 That's why I never go anywhere without some string cheese in my pocket!
Posted by: No One Of Consequence

You know what they say: A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 03, 2023 09:28 PM (qoGsy)

279 Me during the 1st round: "Caps aren't playing, this feels weird."

Me during the 2nd round: "Caps aren't playing, this feels normal."
Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2023 09:23 PM (yUjc0)

I feel that...

***fistbump***

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:28 PM (CCSxw)

280 A quick Brave search brought the cheese thing right up, though. "You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese." In The Complete Book of Magic & Witchcraft by Kathryn Paulsen.
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at May 03, 2023 09:19 PM (OX9vb)


I've found it works best when the cheese comes wrapped in a $50 bill.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 09:28 PM (anj39)

281 WSJ coming out with more Epstein info tomorrow:

Khadeeja Safdar @khadeeja_safdar · 8h
More details from Jeffrey Epstein’s schedules and emails:

Dinner plans with former Treasury Secretary Larry Summers

An island visit by LinkedIn co-founder Reid Hoffman

Films screenings with Woody Allen

New details in part 2 w/ ⁦@DaveCBenoit⁩:

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 03, 2023 09:29 PM (Vwz3I)

282 Grandpa finally 'fessed up about 1948 and said they were eating Flicka.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 09:21 PM (lz5hY)

Dad would get horse meat from time to time, it is sweeter and dryer than beef. I think mom drew the line on making sweetbreads, but dad eventually got her to let him cook kidneys in the crock pot.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 03, 2023 09:29 PM (xhaym)

283 275 My good lookin' little cuz raised a calf for 4H. Being a 4H'er, she had no remorse when the time came. We were invited frequently for Wendy's hamburgers on the grill (Wendy the name of the calf).

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 09:29 PM (lz5hY)

284 I lived in a 4th floor walkup for my first apartment. But the steps in thst castle - pictured at top - fetch me the oxygen!

Posted by: JM in Fla/Ill -- Behold the Manchurian Candidate at May 03, 2023 09:29 PM (kTluY)

285 ZOD

(drops needle on Franz Liszt's 'Les Preludes')

IMPERIAL.

Posted by: ZOD at May 03, 2023 09:32 PM (Q/6pY)

286 Empty netter

5-1

See ya...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:32 PM (CCSxw)

287 horse meat is a Sham

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:32 PM (us2H3)

288 horse meat is a Sham
Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:32 PM (us2H3)


Add a good wine and some sea biscuits.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 09:34 PM (anj39)

289 Next up:

Vegas / Edmonton

McDavid v Eichel

2015 #1 pick vs 2015 #2 pick

Nice Guy vs Prick

Team Leader vs Team Cancer

Let's go Oilers...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:34 PM (CCSxw)

290 ------------
In the '70s there was a Shriner's convention in Montreal at the same time a scandal broke about the city's Mafia using horse meat in restaurants instead of, I assume, beef.
------

70's?
"Ikea is the latest retailer to be swept up in the ever-widening European horse meat scandal. Horse meat has been detected in a wide array of products, from frozen lasagnas to burger meat sold to Burger King's U.K. operations, and in a meat pasta sauce sold by Wal-Mart's U.K. supermarket chain..."
February 25, 2013

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 09:34 PM (ALsFH)

291 I feel that...

***fistbump***
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:28 PM (CCSxw)

Finals prediction, browndog?
I'm going with Edmonton vs Carolina

Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2023 09:35 PM (yUjc0)

292 287 horse meat is a Sham
Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:32 PM (us2H3)

If you're not FIRST...you're dinner

Posted by: zombie Secretariat at May 03, 2023 09:36 PM (CCSxw)

293 The Holy Land in trouble. "At least two American couples have been caught by Israeli customs attempting to smuggle a total of more than 650 pounds of Fruit Roll-Ups into Israel, as the country experiences a dire shortage of the snack due to a TikTok craze."

Posted by: runner at May 03, 2023 09:36 PM (V13WU)

294
A world of 4-H, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, ahhh.

But are they agents of social change?

Posted by: Auspex at May 03, 2023 09:36 PM (j4U/Z)

295 Dad would get horse meat from time to time, it is sweeter and dryer than beef. I think mom drew the line on making sweetbreads, but dad eventually got her to let him cook kidneys in the crock pot.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 03, 2023 09:29 PM (xhaym)

The problem with horse meat, even in France, is that it is rarely raised specifically for food. So it is usually lean and not particularly tender.

I have eaten it, and I am not impressed.

Kidneys smell like piss, and taste pretty much like it too.

Sweetbreads though are glorious!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 03, 2023 09:38 PM (ZCCyW)

296
I've eaten Buffalo hump. It's delicious.

Posted by: Auspex at May 03, 2023 09:38 PM (j4U/Z)

297 A world of 4-H, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, ahhh.

But are they agents of social change?
Posted by: Auspex
------

Rotary Club, Elks, Moose, Lion's Club, etc. Even the VFW is fading.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 09:39 PM (ALsFH)

298 Finals prediction, browndog?
I'm going with Edmonton vs Carolina
Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2023 09:35 PM (yUjc0)

Edmonton should come out of the West

Carolina is dinged up, and Toronto could sneak past them.

That said, I think Florida will be there...last year's President's Trophy winners, representing the East.

Lord knows our friends from the Frozen North would be besides themselves with joy were it to be

Canada East vs Canada West

Posted by: zombie Secretariat at May 03, 2023 09:40 PM (CCSxw)

299 /off Big Red sock

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:41 PM (CCSxw)

300 Y’all enjoy your horse meat and cheesy puns, I am going to go for a quick moonlight swim.

Posted by: Piper at May 03, 2023 09:41 PM (ZdaMQ)

301 The problem with horse meat, even in France, is that it is rarely raised specifically for food. So it is usually lean and not particularly tender.

I have eaten it, and I am not impressed.

Kidneys smell like piss, and taste pretty much like it too.

Sweetbreads though are glorious!
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 03, 2023 09:38 PM
Butchering time in S.C. was usually on New Years Day because reliable cold temp. The sweetbreads were the most popular along with tongue.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 09:41 PM (Uv0D2)

302 And anyway, back to the Kentucky Derby. I was going to Thistledown in Cleveland, and Mom asked me to place a bet on the Derby Simulcast. $100, Ferdinand on the nose. Shoemaker was my Dad's favorite jockey. She also said if you don't go to Cleveland, don't book it with Sunshine (just a friend). Didn't go, booked it with the book, Ferdinand comes across paying 52, and the book only pays 36.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 09:42 PM (lz5hY)

303 288 horse meat is a Sham
Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:32 PM (us2H3)


Add a good wine and some sea biscuits.
Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 09:34 PM (anj39)


So it's affirmed we're doing horse name puns?

Posted by: J. Frank Parnell at May 03, 2023 09:42 PM (t4BDZ)

304 Sweetbreads though are glorious!
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

Recipe in the next food thread?

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 09:42 PM (eJpJx)

305 Sorry I had to leave the last thread before being able to provide the data showing no one wants an EV.

https://tinyurl.com/3k4v5ev9

Keep in mind that Teslas are luxury purchases similar to Corvettes or 7 series BMWs (Tesla buyers' household income is double the U.S. median income). The people buying these are buying them for conspicuous consumption same as other luxury purchases, and they have other "real" cars for when they need to use a car.

So set aside the Teslas, many of which are likely corporate purchases/leases as well.

Look at the "normal" cars. Everything that isn't a Tesla? 129,000. And that's still including luxury items by Porsche and Audi and Rivian.

Perspective: Scroll on down and see that Honda sold 263K Civics. So there were half the number of "normal" EVs sold than Civics, and a Civic is very much a "I guess I'll settle for this" purchase. No one wants EVs.

"Oh, but that's 2021!" Fine. Here's 2022:

https://tinyurl.com/5n78ajtz

150K or so. Because no one wants them, and no one is buying them. Not even all of them together at Honda Civic numbers.

Posted by: We ended the Cold War by lying to Russia. They remember. at May 03, 2023 09:42 PM (4w3I6)

306 I used to give my dog milk, but then it was gas city
Phew!
She must be lsctose intolerant

Posted by: JM in Fla/Ill -- Behold the Manchurian Candidate at May 03, 2023 09:42 PM (HMaCE)

307 Hockey predictions from a dead horse. Only at AOSHQ!

Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2023 09:42 PM (yUjc0)

308 Y’all enjoy your horse meat and cheesy puns, I am going to go for a quick moonlight swim.
Posted by: Piper
--

*hears the Jaws theme slowly fading up*

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 09:43 PM (ALsFH)

309 Can't even imagine feeding racoons on my property. It's just asking for trouble, IMO.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at May 03, 2023 09:43 PM (Xrfse)

310 297 A world of 4-H, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, ahhh.

But are they agents of social change?
Posted by: Auspex
------

Rotary Club, Elks, Moose, Lion's Club, etc. Even the VFW is fading.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 09:39 PM
Oldest fraternity in the world is still around.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 09:43 PM (Uv0D2)

311 The sweetbreads were the most popular along with tongue.

Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 09:41 PM (Uv0D2)

This doesn't surprise me. I have always eaten well in the Palmetto State!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 03, 2023 09:44 PM (ZCCyW)

312 Can't even imagine feeding racoons on my property. It's just asking for trouble, IMO.
Posted by: Notorious
------

I know a woman who feeds the bears.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 09:44 PM (ALsFH)

313 Kishka > Sweetbreads

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 03, 2023 09:44 PM (EZebt)

314 308 Y’all enjoy your horse meat and cheesy puns, I am going to go for a quick moonlight swim.
Posted by: Piper
--

*hears the Jaws theme slowly fading up*
Posted by: Mike Hammer

—
That is some kind of global warming if Jaws is in my pool!

Posted by: Piper at May 03, 2023 09:45 PM (ZdaMQ)

315 Vegas doesn't deserve a hockey team. Their pregame has more dramatics than Steve Doocy and KJP

Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2023 09:45 PM (yUjc0)

316 36 Ace,

Crocs are really bad for your feet and your back. Podiatrists hate them. So do physiatrists.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 03, 2023 07:47 PM (fKSGo)

Those crocs in the sidebar are better labeled as gender-fluid...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at May 03, 2023 09:45 PM (ynpvh)

317 —
That is some kind of global warming if Jaws is in my pool!
Posted by: Piper
------

The living room.

Posted by: Sharknado at May 03, 2023 09:46 PM (ALsFH)

318 Sheesh! Rich people.
I had a stick for a rifle to shoot imaginary bears.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 09:15 PM (anj39)

I had a brick.

Posted by: Reforger at May 03, 2023 09:46 PM (B705c)

319 316 36 Ace,

Crocs are really bad for your feet and your back. Podiatrists hate them. So do physiatrists.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 03, 2023 07:47 PM (fKSGo)

Those crocs in the sidebar are better labeled as gender-fluid...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at May 03, 2023 09:45 PM (ynpvh)

What's a non-binary Croc? When you have 2 instead of 10.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at May 03, 2023 09:46 PM (ynpvh)

320 302 And anyway, back to the Kentucky Derby. I was going to Thistledown in Cleveland, and Mom asked me to place a bet on the Derby Simulcast. $100, Ferdinand on the nose. Shoemaker was my Dad's favorite jockey. She also said if you don't go to Cleveland, don't book it with Sunshine (just a friend). Didn't go, booked it with the book, Ferdinand comes across paying 52, and the book only pays 36.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 09:42 PM (lz5hY)

One of my classmates got suspended for running a book at school...He did pretty well at Thistledown...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:47 PM (CCSxw)

321 I'd buy some cheese to fascinate a woman, but frankly I don't give edam.

Posted by: Mr. Curdle at May 03, 2023 09:47 PM (Nn3xT)

322 I had a brick.

Posted by: Reforger
-----

You had bricks?!

We had nothing but mud.

Posted by: Sharknado at May 03, 2023 09:48 PM (ALsFH)

323 313 Who stole the kishka?

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 09:48 PM (lz5hY)

324 315 Vegas doesn't deserve a hockey team. Their pregame has more dramatics than Steve Doocy and KJP
Posted by: Doof at May 03, 2023 09:45 PM (yUjc0)

what I object to was the way they were given a free pass to build a contender right out of the gate.

Fuck 'em...fuck 'em right in the squeak hole.

Especially Eichel...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:49 PM (CCSxw)

325 320 Used to run a little layoff money up to Thistledown (and Northfield) for a family friend. Now we're getting technical.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at May 03, 2023 09:50 PM (lz5hY)

326 318 Sheesh! Rich people.
I had a stick for a rifle to shoot imaginary bears.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 03, 2023 09:15 PM (anj39)

you had an imagination

fancy

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:50 PM (us2H3)

327 I'd buy some cheese to fascinate a woman, but frankly I don't give edam.
Posted by: Mr. Curdle at May 03, 2023 09:47 PM (Nn3xT)
---
What are you? Some kind of Muenster?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 03, 2023 09:50 PM (BpYfr)

328 Recipe in the next food thread?

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 09:42 PM (eJpJx)

Here it is:

Go to Bayeaux, to a little restaurant called Le Quarante Neuf and order the sweetbreads.

Best in the world.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 03, 2023 09:51 PM (ZCCyW)

329
Oldest fraternity in the world is still around.
Posted by: Eromero at May 03, 2023 09:43 PM (Uv0D2)

Oldest sorority, too.

Posted by: Auspex at May 03, 2023 09:51 PM (j4U/Z)

330 314 308 Y’all enjoy your horse meat and cheesy puns, I am going to go for a quick moonlight swim.
Posted by: Piper
--

*hears the Jaws theme slowly fading up*
Posted by: Mike Hammer

—
That is some kind of global warming if Jaws is in my pool!
Posted by: Piper at May 03, 2023 09:45 PM (ZdaMQ)

---------------------------

Candygram...

Posted by: Landshark at May 03, 2023 09:51 PM (uPgE/)

331 We had nothing but mud.

Posted by: Sharknado at May 03, 2023 09:48 PM (ALsFH)

You could afford water?

Posted by: Reforger at May 03, 2023 09:53 PM (B705c)

332 Vegas unis are pug ugly...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:54 PM (CCSxw)

333
Candygram...
Posted by: Landshark
----

LOL

Been a while....

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2023 09:55 PM (ALsFH)

334 First penalty of the game awarded to the Oilers

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:55 PM (CCSxw)

335 I'm sure they still do

but the Cubans made fabulous picture frames made from crocodile , pre embargo

I used to buy them when I could find them

I got a couple around here, one with a picture of my boss from 30 years ago

very fitting, a man eater

Posted by: REDACTED at May 03, 2023 09:56 PM (us2H3)

336 Go to Bayeaux, to a little restaurant called Le Quarante Neuf and order the sweetbreads.

Best in the world.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

Thanks, I think...

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 09:57 PM (eJpJx)

337 There it is

1-0 Oilers

Now, can they actually defend???

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:57 PM (CCSxw)

338 ...and there's the response

1-1

Goddamn Oilers cannot defend a lead to save their lives

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 09:59 PM (CCSxw)

339 Have you ever noticed how slow the refresh rate on AoSHQ is right at ONT time?

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 10:01 PM (eJpJx)

340 339 Have you ever noticed how slow the refresh rate on AoSHQ is right at ONT time?
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 10:01 PM (eJpJx)

Tequila's been know to fuq with time and space...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 03, 2023 10:02 PM (CCSxw)

341 And how cafe postings dry up quickly?

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 10:03 PM (eJpJx)

342 NOOD as if you didn't know!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 03, 2023 10:10 PM (eJpJx)

343
More than $15k can be earned online by performing straightforward tasks from home. In the previous month, I got $18376. Even a young child may do this job and make money because it is so simple to complete and has higher pay than typical office occupations. Everyone needs to try this task by using the information on this page. www.Richepay.com

Posted by: Lauren Green at May 04, 2023 05:23 AM (ckumn)

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