HBO Max Announces They'll Be Remaking All the Harry Potter Movies as a Strictly-Faithful-to-the-Books TV Series That Could Go On for Ten Years; <br>Trans Extremists Shriek

HBO Max Announces They'll Be Remaking All the Harry Potter Movies as a Strictly-Faithful-to-the-Books TV Series That Could Go On for Ten Years;
Trans Extremists Shriek

Warner Bros.' head David Zazlov has been pushing some kind of a Harry Potter reboot for a while. He needs to make some kind of money for his massively-indebted corporation.

I assumed this would take the form of a new series of movies, or a TV show, that would take place at Hogwart's. Hogwart's -- The Next Generation. That kind of thing.

Nope, they're just remaking the movies that were already made adequately enough, only this time, each story will follow the books' plots more exactingly. So get ready for more Romantic Intrigue among Fifth Graders, and get ready for one book to be drawn out over 8-10 episodes.

And you thought The Hobbit movies were drawn-out and padded!*

Variety:

A "Harry Potter" TV series is officially moving forward at HBO Max.
The announcement was made during Warner Bros. Discovery's presentation to press and investors on April 12, during which it was announced that HBO Max and Discovery+ are officially being combined into a new service dubbed simply Max.
News of a show based on the megahit J.K. Rowling book series first leaked on April 3, but details have now been confirmed.
Each season of the show will be based on one of the books in the franchise, with Warner Bros. Discovery describing the show as a "decade-long series." It will feature an entirely new cast from the films.

At least a remake will give the media marginally less reason to pretend that Emma Watkins or whoever is actually a celebrity.

"We are delighted to give audiences the opportunity to discover Hogwarts in a whole new way," said Casey Bloys, chairman and CEO of HBO & Max Content.

No, a whole new way would have meant a whole new story. This is the same story, again, with a smaller budget and much, much longer run time.

Hollywood literally can't do anything but remakes and reboots, can they?

Your Hogwarts letter is here.

Max has ordered the first ever #HarryPotter scripted television series, a faithful adaptation of the iconic books. #StreamOnMax pic.twitter.com/3CgEHLYhch
— HBO Max (@hbomax) April 12, 2023

This is a real stupid thing. Kids don't care about Harry Potter, the character. Or Hermoine or Rusty Beavers or whatever the other kid is called. Kids love the fantasy of going to Hogwarts. So the star is Hogwarts and the spells and the monsters. You can make up any viewpoint characters calculated to be aspirational enough that kids will want to daydream about being, but average enough that they won't make kids feel inferior, and send them to Hogwart's, and kids would like it.

And then you'd have a new story.

But nah, we'll just remake the ones we've already all seen. (Well, I've seen some of them, and watched the Pitch Meeting for others!)

But the real story here isn't that Hollywood is creatively bankrupt, and will soon be financially bankrupt as they pour more tons of money into the Money Pit and set it on fire.

No, the real story is that this is Literal Violence against trans people and threatens them with Actual Genocide.

All because J.K. Rowling, and obnoxious mouthy feminist and overly-political leftwing twat, insists that men are not women and that penises are Masculine.

John Sexton reminds us that the trans extremists bullied and threatened people away from buying, playing, or reviewing the Hogwart's Legacy video game that released in January -- and failed abysmally, as the game ranked up a slew of 9 out of 10 ratings and $850 million in sales -- so far.

Even though they literally threatened people to get them to not play or review the game, the game was reviewed -- ecstatically.

Hogwarts Legacy Reviews #PS5:

Carole Quintaine 10/10
MeuPlayStation 10/10
Glitched Africa 10/10
PSU 9.5/10
TierraGamer 9.5/10
IGN 9/10
IGN Spain 9/10
PSX Brasil 9/10
Press Start 9/10
PlayStation Lifestyle 9/10
PowerUp! 9/10
Geek Culture 9/10
WellPlayed 9/10
FingerGuns 9/10 pic.twitter.com/twixnPXB5j
— GermanStrands (@GermanStrands) February 6, 2023

Okay, the last sales figure I heard was $850 million. I kept waiting for it to hit a billion to write about it. It's been stuck at $850 million since early February. I refreshed searches for "Hogwart's legacy billion," but the news never came.

Sass Anticipation GIFfrom Sass GIFs

Well now, the Ace of Spades Decision Desk has examined the data and now feels comfortable enough to officially project that sales have now topped one billion dollars.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show Well GIFfrom The Rocky Horror Picture Show GIFs

Sexton collects some of the Latest Shriekings from the hysterical, bullying, violent Trans Extremists:

Mia Moore
@StopTweetingMia
If I was WB deciding what franchise to spend the next decade on, I would want to future-proof it by not latching onto a bigot who's been getting more and more vitriolic towards LGBTQ+ people.
They're actually banking on society still not caring about trans folks in 10 years.
Sorry Trans Extremists, I guess you're not as beloved in the real world as the progressives who use you pretend you are on Twitter.

This douchebag:

Like Kurosawa, I Make Mad
@the_moviebob
Well, last time Warner Bros committed to a decade long project they hadn't started making or CAST was the DCEU and that failed so bad the studio no longer exists. But maybe doing it AGAIN but anchored to the whims of a creator leading a global lynch mob will work!

Hey try sliding into Lindsey Ellis' DMs some more, Bob!

JJ
@ladydragonjj
I hope for your failure and demise.

I wonder if she thinks she's really a dragon. Or if she is really a she.

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Sponge

Posted by: Bete at April 13, 2023 04:10 PM (o/pgP)

2 Fashion designer, Mary Quant, who helped popularize the miniskirt, has died at the age of 93.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 04:10 PM (Vwz3I)

3 Just...why?

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 04:11 PM (DRSnL)

4 Nope, they're just remaking the movies that were already made adequately enough, only this time, each story will follow the books' plots more exactingly. So get ready for more Romantic Intrigue among Fifth Graders, and get ready for one book to be drawn out over 8-10 episodes.
++++
That would total up to 70 episodes. Almost enough for syndication!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:12 PM (t0OGg)

5 first

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at April 13, 2023 04:12 PM (OgrpQ)

6 Yes, there was just a news chyron here announcing the TV series promising to be a faithful adaptation of the books except for killing all of the TERFs.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 04:12 PM (Vwz3I)

7 Hollywood literally can't do anything but remakes and reboots, can they?

That's the entire managerial class in a nutshell: no real creative ability or willingness to take risks, except for financial shenanigans where they can offload their losses onto society.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at April 13, 2023 04:12 PM (wmDcS)

8 hiya

Posted by: JT at April 13, 2023 04:12 PM (T4tVD)

9 It will feature an entirely new cast from the films.

What? They aren't going to put 40 year olds into the seventh grade?

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 13, 2023 04:12 PM (lTGtQ)

10 Each season of the show will be based on one of the books in the franchise, with Warner Bros. Discovery describing the show as a "decade-long series." It will feature an entirely new cast from the films.
++++
I hope that means that people can obsess over the new Hermione and Emma Watson will finally get out of my face.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:12 PM (t0OGg)

11
Hollywood literally can't do anything but remakes and reboots, can they?

___________

Whatever happened to the Well-Made Play?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 13, 2023 04:13 PM (pTSyq)

12 It's too bad that little Emma chick was brainwashed by a generation of slapdick losers.

The wonderful things we could have accomplished!

Posted by: Dr. Bone at April 13, 2023 04:13 PM (uAY3R)

13 Ten new movies? If they do what they say and don't inject woke into this project they can write their own ticket.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at April 13, 2023 04:13 PM (ncXxy)

14 These are going to be so fucking boring.

The first three books aren't that fatty, so to stretch them to a full season, they'll have to pad them with nonsense.

After that, it's all "Free the House Elf" bullshit that is boring and was never missed in the movies.

Plus, they'll have to look pretty much exactly the same as the movies because there's too much physical and intellectual property tied up in the look of the Wizarding World, so there's no real opportunities for changes.

I think it's going to be a shitshow, but the trannies are mad so whatever, I guess.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:13 PM (UVZX7)

15 Ace, for your information, my character's name was Ronald Bilious Weasely. I don't see you snogging any hot Gryffindor babes.

*stomps away*

Posted by: Rupert Grint at April 13, 2023 04:13 PM (PiwSw)

16 Haha. "A new, original series" that is 30 years old.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 13, 2023 04:14 PM (lTGtQ)

17 "Hollywood literally can't do anything but remakes and reboots, can they?"

"All Quiet on the Western Front" won Oscars for best director and outstanding production.

In 1930.

Posted by: SFGoth at April 13, 2023 04:14 PM (KAi1n)

18 Have read all the books and seen movies many times and all on DVD, the movies did well until last few but more a issue getting everything in a book on film is tough.

Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2023 04:14 PM (xhxe8)

19 They're actually banking on society still not caring about trans folks in 10 years.
Sorry Trans Extremists, I guess you're not as beloved in the real world as the progressives who use you pretend you are on Twitter.

========

It's a safe bet.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:14 PM (UVZX7)

20 Never read a Harry Potter book nor watched any of the movies. Anyone else with me? Or am I the only one in the world?

Posted by: Doof at April 13, 2023 04:14 PM (LLddH)

21 And then you'd have a new story.

But nah, we'll just remake the ones we've already all seen. (Well, I've seen some of them, and watched the Pitch Meeting for others!)
++++
They already own it. Do they own rights for derivative works? If they don't, paying for them would probably be a non-starter. And I doubt that HBO will be paying Amazon or Disney prices per-episode, and it won't costs tens of millions of dollars per hour of content.

I'd expect them to do it on the somewhat cheap. If they do, it might even make some money.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:14 PM (t0OGg)

22 Oh hey, maybe the Adam Driver as Severus Snape thing is going to come true after all.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at April 13, 2023 04:15 PM (fKIdX)

23 I guess that means they can't wokify it (anymore than it already is).

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 13, 2023 04:15 PM (NanBG)

24 No, the real story is that this is Literal Violence against trans people and threatens them with Actual Genocide.
++++
Of course it is. And if they actually *do* remain faithful to the books, it means that there won't be any gay or trans characters, either and there will be little if any race-swapping or sex-swapping.

It *really* might actually make some money.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:15 PM (t0OGg)

25 New ... much newer than new

Posted by: SMOD at April 13, 2023 04:15 PM (RHGPo)

26 17 "Hollywood literally can't do anything but remakes and reboots, can they?"

"All Quiet on the Western Front" won Oscars for best director and outstanding production.

In 1930.

Posted by: SFGoth at April 13, 2023 04:14 PM (KAi1n)

=========

And the new one took an unsubtle original and said, "I think some people might not have gotten the point. How can we make it more obvious?"

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:15 PM (UVZX7)

27 So JK Rowling will be getting some more big checks for the next decade.

Way to go TransExtremists.

Posted by: Czech Chick at April 13, 2023 04:16 PM (6Tc2R)

28 Well now, the Ace of Spades Decision Desk has examined the data and now feels comfortable enough to officially project that sales have now topped one billion dollars.
++++
*snort*

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:16 PM (t0OGg)

29 Is that Susan Sarandon? I've never seen Rocky Horror blah blah blah.

She looks like Sarah Polley. I guess Sarah Polley looks like her.

*ponders*

I wonder whose tits were bigger, prime vs prime.

Posted by: spindrift at April 13, 2023 04:16 PM (ivvNA)

30 "It will feature an entirely new cast from the films."

So makeup and surgery not enough to turn 30-somethings into early teeners? Maybe it's time for AI to apply for the roles.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at April 13, 2023 04:16 PM (aXxgO)

31 "Just nothing but all-consuming, unmedicated anger from the physically revolting and mentally unwell, who hate and fear A World That Just Doesn't Want to Fuck Them."

I'm open!

Posted by: Uranus at April 13, 2023 04:16 PM (WmGrA)

32 They could put an entire season in the city whose name must not be mentioned ... Baltimore

Posted by: SMOD at April 13, 2023 04:17 PM (RHGPo)

33 What I think is hilarious is that Book 5 is a prolonged allegory on the necessity of Second Amendment right.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 04:17 PM (2hlEI)

34 Rusty Beavers?

I'm not familiar with him.

Posted by: redridinghood at April 13, 2023 04:17 PM (NpAcC)

35 @StopTweetingMia
If I was WB deciding what franchise to spend the next decade on, I would want to future-proof it by not latching onto a bigot who's been getting more and more vitriolic towards LGBTQ+ people.

They're actually banking on society still not caring about trans folks in 10 years.
Sorry Trans Extremists, I guess you're not as beloved in the real world as the progressives who use you pretend you are on Twitter.
++++
Sort of. "Society" doesn't care about trans people *now* - except insofar as they are fucking everything up and shooting people.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:17 PM (t0OGg)

36 I have said I wish they had done this reboot from the perspective of Neville. The prophecy was thought to be about either, and Neville was, in the end, almost as important as Harry in destroying Voldermort, since he killed Negini.

It would be a fresh take and would allow a huge growth path for the joke character to the brave hero over the decade...

Posted by: Nova Local at April 13, 2023 04:18 PM (exHjb)

37 JJ @ladydragonjj
I hope for your failure and demise.
----------
I wonder if she thinks she's really a dragon. Or if she is really a she
===============
Or recently moved to Wisconsin??

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 04:18 PM (Vwz3I)

38 Kids love the fantasy of going to Hogwarts. So the star is Hogwarts and the spells and the monsters

Yes.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 13, 2023 04:18 PM (pP7rZ)

39 20 Never read a Harry Potter book nor watched any of the movies. Anyone else with me? Or am I the only one in the world?
Posted by: Doof at April 13, 2023 04:14 PM (LLddH)

Same here.

Posted by: N, L. at April 13, 2023 04:18 PM (eGTCV)

40 Rusty Beavers? Terrible porn name. So lame.

Posted by: Buck Naked at April 13, 2023 04:18 PM (aXxgO)

41 They could put an entire season in the city whose name must not be mentioned ... Baltimore
Posted by: SMOD

The way things are going over there, it should be renamed Baltinomore.

Posted by: SFGoth at April 13, 2023 04:18 PM (KAi1n)

42 @the_moviebob
Well, last time Warner Bros committed to a decade long project they hadn't started making or CAST was the DCEU and that failed so bad the studio no longer exists. But maybe doing it AGAIN but anchored to the whims of a creator leading a global lynch mob will work!
++++
Y'know, Moviebob, this is a curious statement. I haven't seen a single trans person getting lynched. I sure do see a lot of trans activists physically attacking anyone they disagree with, though.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:18 PM (t0OGg)

43 "It's too bad that little Emma chick was brainwashed by a generation of slapdick losers. "

That's what happens when you go to Brown U.

Posted by: cheshirecat at April 13, 2023 04:18 PM (TwA+r)

44 >>>I wonder whose tits were bigger, prime vs prime.

pretty sure it's susan sarandon, she had jugs.

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:18 PM (iHBZj)

45 Hogwarts?

Yawns.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2023 04:19 PM (anj39)

46 This is about people who play dress up and make-believe, right?

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at April 13, 2023 04:19 PM (HQ7NS)

47 The sad thing is that there are short moments here and there that actually work. Making the huge pile of bad decisions even worse, because they demolished something that could have been decent.
++++
Had they done it as a single movie - and The Hobbit is a good fit for a single movie - it could have been very good.

But they wanted that trilogy and so did what they did instead.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:19 PM (t0OGg)

48 Guys!

I've got a great fucking idea!!!!

Here's the story. A young boy who happens to love M&Ms befriends an illegal alien whom he finds hiding in the bushes outside his mom's home in Southern California.

Genius, right??

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:19 PM (f/z+J)

49 Meh. Makes no difference to me but might hurt Devil Mouse WDW attendance more as Universal Studios has the Harry Potter attraction in Orlando.

Productions companies would do better to scale back the spectacle and concentrate on appealing stories for now.

Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:19 PM (dh/6v)

50 Fashion designer, Mary Quant, who helped popularize the miniskirt, has died at the age of 93.
Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 04:10 PM (Vwz3I)

Her last words were: "Is that guy trying to shoot my beaver"?

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (BdMk6)

51 Warner Bros.' head David Zazlov has been pushing some kind of a Harry Potter reboot for a while. He needs to make some kind of money for his massively-indebted corporation.

I saw the first two movies and wasn't crazy about them. They seemed like the Narnia one I saw--okayish.

They seemed like the kind of thing that Disney could have done really well back in the 1970s and 80s. But I assume HBO Max will shit the bed, including with the preposterous Dumbledore-is-gay retconning nonsense.

So hard pass.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (ppBhU)

52 I've got a great fucking idea!!!!

Here's the story. A young boy who happens to love M&Ms befriends an illegal alien whom he finds hiding in the bushes outside his mom's home in Southern California.

Genius, right??
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:19 PM (f/z+J)
++++
LOL

It would be better with Reese's Pieces...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (t0OGg)

53 in the post I committed an Identity Crime known as "digital transface," where a non-trans individual uses a trans person or character in a meme.

I denounce this post.

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (iHBZj)

54 Mr. Henry F. Potter > Harry Potter

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (+iX/6)

55 Genius, right??
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:19 PM (f/z+J)

Change M&M's to Reese's Pieces and you've got box office gold!

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (DRSnL)

56 20 Never read a Harry Potter book nor watched any of the movies. Anyone else with me? Or am I the only one in the world?
---
There are at least two of us.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (sWM8x)

57 Nah Ace - kids care a LOT about Harry Potter the character - Hogwarts is not the main draw.

Posted by: EtcEtcEtc at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (bunM0)

58 They could put an entire season in the city whose name must not be mentioned ... Baltimore
Posted by: SMOD

Key and Peele already did it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-2ZxldMO-M

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (fKIdX)

59
Never read a Harry Potter book nor watched any of the movies. Anyone else with me? Or am I the only one in the world?

Posted by: Doof at April 13, 2023 04:14 PM

you are not alone

Posted by: AltonJackson at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (ENBF0)

60 Had they done it as a single movie - and The Hobbit is a good fit for a single movie - it could have been very good.

But they wanted that trilogy and so did what they did instead.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:19 PM (t0OGg)
------------
I've read that Jackson was only planning on two movies, but the suits insisted on three. And the stupid Elf-Dwarf-Elf love triangle.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (2hlEI)

61 in the post I committed an Identity Crime known as '"transface," where a non-trans individual uses a trans person or character in a meme.

I denounce this post.
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (iHBZj)
++++
HAHAHHA.

Bask in it, Ace.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (t0OGg)

62 43 "It's too bad that little Emma chick was brainwashed by a generation of slapdick losers. "
-----------
Over/under on her being abused by the Hollyweird pedo and drug culture before college.

Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:21 PM (dh/6v)

63 LOL

It would be better with Reese's Pieces...
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (t0OGg)

I've got to get them on board but Reese's might be a good backup! Good thinking.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:21 PM (f/z+J)

64 I imagine a good editor could cut the three hobbit films down to one good three hour film.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 13, 2023 04:21 PM (lTGtQ)

65 Rusty Beavers? Terrible porn name. So lame.

Posted by: Buck Naked at April 13, 2023 04:18 PM (aXxgO)

"The rustier the roof, the wetter the basement."
~Peter North

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at April 13, 2023 04:21 PM (OgrpQ)

66 Over/under on her being abused by the Hollyweird pedo and drug culture before college.
Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:21 PM (dh/6v)
++++
Whatever it is, I'll take the over.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:21 PM (t0OGg)

67 61 in the post I committed an Identity Crime known as '"transface," where a non-trans individual uses a trans person or character in a meme.

I denounce this post.
Posted by: ace
---------
Was Transface a Batman villain? Asking for a friend.

Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:21 PM (dh/6v)

68 Seems early for a reboot, but whatever. I don't trust them to do it right, though. And given how Rowling is going on about making Dumbledore queer and Hermione black, I don't really trust her either.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (0hOvj)

69 Dr. Sherman Potter > Mr. Henry F. Potter > Harry Potter

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (2hlEI)

70 47 Had they done it as a single movie - and The Hobbit is a good fit for a single movie - it could have been very good.

But they wanted that trilogy and so did what they did instead.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:19 PM (t0OGg)

=========

The original plan was two movies directed by Guillermo del Toro (he's still credited as a writer), but local union problems extended pre-production out for about a year longer than expected to the point that del Toro left.

Jackson took up the directing reins and started, but the studio, somewhere in the middle of production, demanded a third movie, which Jackson agreed to.

There's an alternate timeline where del Toro made his version, and I want to see it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (UVZX7)

71 I'm looking forward to seeing are you there god, it's me Margaret. Also not new material but hoping it's good

Posted by: NCKate at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (d5Qya)

72 You know what British boarding school franchise really needs a reboot? St. Trinian's!

It will carry on the traditions of the previous iterations, like the Headmistress played by a dude in drag* and the poor girl who wears the same uniform she got when she was seven but is now a tall, voluptuous eighteen-year-old!

*back when drag was funny, not sexually explicit Satanic Kabuki.

Posted by: Pete in Texas at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (BHrzb)

73 I've got to get them on board but Reese's might be a good backup! Good thinking.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:21 PM (f/z+J)

Maybe Skittles to appeal to the alphabet crowd!

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (DRSnL)

74 >>>I've read that Jackson was only planning on two movies, but the suits insisted on three. And the stupid Elf-Dwarf-Elf love triangle.

i think two could have worked.

it's not just the padding, though, it's the cartoony over-the-top nonsense where you have absolutely no cares about the fates of the characters because they're not characters, they're obviously Bugs Bunny cartoons. Only Bugs Bunny characters can fall 500 feet without being hurt. Only the Roadrunner can run between a Kaiju-sized dragon's legs as he runs and not get hit once.

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (iHBZj)

75 Doof I think they are good stories and movies

Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (xhxe8)

76 Lots of Reese's Pieces lovers here. Sheesh. What's wrong with M&Ms?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (f/z+J)

77 I wonder if Rowling will back off the "Dumbledore is gay" crap.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (W2Pud)

78 OT, but Breaking: Dan Snyder has a tentative deal to sell the Washington Football Team...

Posted by: Nova Local at April 13, 2023 04:23 PM (exHjb)

79

I would bang high school graduate Hermione like a screen door in a hurricane. With a magic wand stuck in each one of her alternate two holes. Air tight.

Posted by: Dirty Frank at April 13, 2023 04:23 PM (fBaTw)

80 Is reading a post that committed an identity crime in itself a crime? I am concerned.

Posted by: runner at April 13, 2023 04:23 PM (5a2xV)

81 I liked the Hobbit trilogy movies. I still think Jackson did a very good job with the story.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2023 04:23 PM (BdMk6)

82 when I said Rusty Beavers you all know who I meant so I think that name suits (as the british would say)

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:23 PM (iHBZj)

83 Seems early for a reboot, but whatever. I don't trust them to do it right, though. And given how Rowling is going on about making Dumbledore queer and Hermione black, I don't really trust her either.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (0hOvj)

Hermammy?

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at April 13, 2023 04:23 PM (OgrpQ)

84 Maybe Skittles to appeal to the alphabet crowd!
Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (DRSnL

Oooh. Diversity. I love it. Nobody is making movies with diversity!

I'm gonna be rich!!

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:23 PM (f/z+J)

85 Add to breaking: Deal for the Washington team is said to be $6B. That's a B.

Posted by: Nova Local at April 13, 2023 04:23 PM (exHjb)

86 in the post I committed an Identity Crime known as "digital transface," where a non-trans individual uses a trans person or character in a meme.

I denounce this post.
-----------
He's right. You know.

Posted by: GIF memeface minstrel at April 13, 2023 04:24 PM (Vwz3I)

87 Ace: "Well now, the Ace of Spades Decision Desk has examined the data and now feels comfortable enough to officially project that sales have now topped one billion dollars."

Ahahaha. Now this is the type of conflation I pay almost no money to enjoy. Well done.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at April 13, 2023 04:24 PM (aXxgO)

88 These are going to be so fucking boring.

The first three books aren't that fatty, so to stretch them to a full season, they'll have to pad them with nonsense.

After that, it's all "Free the House Elf" bullshit that is boring and was never missed in the movies.

Plus, they'll have to look pretty much exactly the same as the movies because there's too much physical and intellectual property tied up in the look of the Wizarding World, so there's no real opportunities for changes.

I think it's going to be a shitshow, but the trannies are mad so whatever, I guess.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:13 PM (UVZX7)
---
The first few seasons could only be 6-8 episodes. A "season" these days seems pretty arbitrary in terms of number of episodes.

And yeah, the movies gave the Wizarding World its distinctive look and feel. They have to try and capture that on the small screen. Didn't work with Amazon's billion-dollar disaster (Rings of Power) and won't work now.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 13, 2023 04:24 PM (YIVH2)

89 Didn't the Star Trek movies have a....Transwarp drive?

Posted by: I the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 04:24 PM (PiwSw)

90 20
'Never read a Harry Potter book nor watched any of the movies. Anyone else with me? Or am I the only one in the world?'

Not At All.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at April 13, 2023 04:24 PM (ruYJi)

91 Was Transface a Batman villain? Asking for a friend.
Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:21 PM (dh/6v)

Two-face's gay cousin, yes.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:24 PM (f/z+J)

92 Anne Perry death: Crime author and real killer behind Heavenly Creatures dies aged 84

Posted by: SMOD at April 13, 2023 04:24 PM (RHGPo)

93 Hollywood literally can't do anything but remakes and reboots, can they?"

"All Quiet on the Western Front" won Oscars for best director and outstanding production.

In 1930.

Posted by: SFGoth
__________

This latest German remake sucked IMHO. Didn't follow the book at all. And the tactics they showed were not being used at that later stage of the war.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at April 13, 2023 04:24 PM (Yk2Yh)

94 The lamest thing about "MAX"s announcement of Nuevo Jari Potaro is that they use the same fucking theme music.

Just hearing that made me bored with the whole idea. I suspect others will feel the same.

C'mon, HBO. Couldn't you have dragged Tone Loc out hiding for a rap about "Funky Cold Hogwarts" or some such thing?

Posted by: naturalfake at April 13, 2023 04:24 PM (RJQ8g)

95 Rusty Beavers? Terrible porn name. So lame.
Posted by: Buck Naked

I saw Busty Reavers open for The Fed on the Firefly Loading Dock.

- Mal

Posted by: BifBewalski's Phone at April 13, 2023 04:25 PM (yvXUi)

96 * Over the course of two weeks, I have been rewatching, for the first time, The Hobbit movies. They are truly drawn-out and padded and they attempt to compensate for that featuring implausible over-the-top very cartoonish (literally, it's all digital CGI cartoons) action, which alienates me from the movie even more by so contemptuously abandoning any pretense that this is real.

Preach it, ace. Part one of that was the last movie I saw in theaters for about 10 years.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 13, 2023 04:25 PM (Wnv9h)

97 The first three books aren't that fatty, so to stretch them to a full season, they'll have to pad them with nonsense. ...
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:13 PM (UVZX7)
++++
Short seasons for 1-3, then escalating from there. There's no rule that all have to be 10-15 episodes. If five episodes are good for the first season, so be it. I don't know if they'll do this, but it would be easy.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:25 PM (t0OGg)

98 All the kids are armed with working weapons at all times. Pro second amendment.

The news media turns against Harry and spreads disinformation about him being unhinged.

The government and the head of his education end up turning against him, and the government installs a female puppet headmaster to rule. She brands "I will not tell lies" into his skin for speaking truth.

All good fiction stories eventually end up outing themselves as conservative stories. And all dystopias and up being prophetic instead of a cautionary tale.

Posted by: LizLem at April 13, 2023 04:25 PM (+mkOR)

99 Hmmm never watched any of the HP stuff. Not my jam, so DGAF. They will fuck it up because. It's their destiny.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 13, 2023 04:25 PM (IbmGO)

100 >>>89 Didn't the Star Trek movies have a....Transwarp drive?

they did for one half a movie, then they forgot they had that technology!

They also had a transporter that could beam you across the galazy without need of any ship (for about ohe half a movie, before they decided that technology didn't exist any longer)

they also Cured Death for ten minutes at the end of one movie, then pretended that death had not been cured in the next one

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:25 PM (iHBZj)

101 14 These are going to be so fucking boring.

The first three books aren't that fatty, so to stretch them to a full season, they'll have to pad them with nonsense.

After that, it's all "Free the House Elf" bullshit that is boring and was never missed in the movies.

Plus, they'll have to look pretty much exactly the same as the movies because there's too much physical and intellectual property tied up in the look of the Wizarding World, so there's no real opportunities for changes.

I think it's going to be a shitshow, but the trannies are mad so whatever, I guess.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:13 PM (UVZX7)

------------------------------------

Yeah, the "Free the House Elves" stuff can be left out, but I thought there was some stuff in the Goblet of Fire book that I would have liked in the movie (like the Rita Skeeter subplot). Of course, they probably could have stuck that in if they hadn't felt the need to stretch out the dragon-fighting scene so long.

I'll be curious to see who they cast as Harry. Daniel Radcliffe pretty much owns that role.

Posted by: No One Of Consequence at April 13, 2023 04:25 PM (uPgE/)

102 it's not just the padding, though, it's the cartoony over-the-top nonsense where you have absolutely no cares about the fates of the characters because they're not characters, they're obviously Bugs Bunny cartoons. Only Bugs Bunny characters can fall 500 feet without being hurt. Only the Roadrunner can run between a Kaiju-sized dragon's legs as he runs and not get hit once.
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:22 PM (iHBZj)
---
This is exactly why modern action movies like the MCU are failing. There's no real sense of danger for the characters involved when they perform ludicrous stunts that would quickly get you killed in real life.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (YIVH2)

103 “Remarkable” Brain Boosting Peptide: MIT Neuroscientists Discover Way To Reverse Alzheimer’s Disease

MIT neuroscientists have discovered a method to reverse neurodegeneration and other Alzheimer’s disease symptoms by blocking an overactive enzyme, CDK5, in patients’ brains.

Posted by: SMOD at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (RHGPo)

104 Afternoon.

The first three movies already cover everything in the first three books. The first three books are quite thin. They should just start with book four which is when the books start getting quite girth.

Season one will be boring as hell cuz it's going to be a giant case of, "we've already seen this," unless they pad the ever loving shit out of it.

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (EHlgw)

105 Never read a Harry Potter book nor watched any of the movies. Anyone else with me? Or am I the only one in the world?
---
There are at least two of us.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (sWM8x)
******
Read all the books.
Watched all the movies.
At the time, I have to admit, I enjoyed them.
Life was better back then.

Posted by: redridinghood at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (NpAcC)

106 The thing about The Hobbit is that it's a child's book in a way that Lord of the Rings is not. Two movies, three movies, it makes no difference. The Hobbit was always going to suck because no one appears to have understood the difference in tone.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (ppBhU)

107 The 5th Circuit panel decided that mifepristone could remain on the market — but only under certain restrictions. Mifepristone will now only be available through the seventh week of pregnancy; the drug must be prescribed by a licensed physician; women seeking the drug must have an in-person appointment with said licensed physician before receiving it; pharmacies may not offer the drug via mail-order; and prescribers must report nonfatal adverse effects of the drug to the FDA.

Each of these restrictions was originally put in place by the FDA itself and later rescinded via two regulatory changes — the first in 2016 and the second in 2021, during the pandemic.

Posted by: SMOD at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (RHGPo)

108 20 Never read a Harry Potter book nor watched any of the movies. Anyone else with me? Or am I the only one in the world?
---
There are at least two of us.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (sWM8x)

Three.

Harry Potter is for 8 year olds.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (+iX/6)

109 Hermione returning from summer vacation could be a whole episode

Posted by: SNL at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (3vCGB)

110 Change M&M's to Reese's Pieces and you've got box office gold!
------------------
Rainbow Skittles!

Amy, get me Creative!

Posted by: VP of Excellence, Alissa Heinerscheid at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (Vwz3I)

111 85 Add to breaking: Deal for the Washington team is said to be $6B. That's a B.
Posted by: Nova Local at April 13, 2023 04:23 PM (exHjb)

Might need to cut out latte a week for a month,but shouldn't be too painful.

Posted by: Moomoo at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (/6GbT)

112 Hormoney, these days.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (f/z+J)

113 in the post I committed an Identity Crime known as '"transface," where a non-trans individual uses a trans person or character in a meme.

Thanks for clearing THAT up ! /

Posted by: JT at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (T4tVD)

114 I've got a great fucking idea!!!!

Here's the story. A young boy who happens to love M&Ms befriends an illegal alien whom he finds hiding in the bushes outside his mom's home in Southern California.

Genius, right??
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:19 PM (f/z+J)
++++
LOL

It would be better with Reese's Pieces...
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:20 PM (t0OGg)

If I'm not mistaken, the producers of ET (or maybe Spielberg himself) asked M&M Mars about using M&M's in the movie, but they said no. They then asked Hershey's (owner of Resse's) who said yes.

Posted by: Doof at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (LLddH)

115 Season one will be boring as hell cuz it's going to be a giant case of, "we've already seen this," unless they pad the ever loving shit out of it.

You have not seen another grown man wield Dumbledore's wand, and HBO aims to deliver.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (ppBhU)

116 Hollweirdos are doing some creative stuff. Bullet Train was very different from the other crap out there. And it was awesome!
I just recently watched Kingsman Secret Service and it was great. Psycho tech billionare environmentalist, multiple governments in his pocket, determined to save the planet thru culling humans. It seemed timely. And like Bullet Train it was funny action suspense.
Although not brand new territory, Top Gun Maverick was good too.
Someone is still making fun movies.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (Wy1BU)

117 "* Over the course of two weeks, I have been rewatching, for the first time, The Hobbit movies. They are truly drawn-out and padded and they attempt to compensate for that featuring implausible over-the-top very cartoonish (literally, it's all digital CGI cartoons) action, which alienates me from the movie even more by so contemptuously abandoning any pretense that this is real.

The sad thing is that there are short moments here and there that actually work. Making the huge pile of bad decisions even worse, because they demolished something that could have been decent."

That's a great observation. I think with some REALLY good editing, someone could splice all three movies into one good movie.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (N1tpc)

118 97 Short seasons for 1-3, then escalating from there. There's no rule that all have to be 10-15 episodes. If five episodes are good for the first season, so be it. I don't know if they'll do this, but it would be easy.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:25 PM (t0OGg)

=========

Standard seems to be 8-10, but that's 8-10 hours for a 250 page kids book.

You know...The Hobbit, but without someone like Peter Jackson behind it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (UVZX7)

119 Middle school Librarian and tech support person here.

Kids LOVE the characters. They also LOVE the setting. They could make a series with the same setting, or maybe one of the others wizarding school settings and if they had the same type of characters it would be a hit.

If they take the beloved characters and settings and twist it into some unrecognizable slop like the LOTR series is, it will be a flop.

Just my 2 cents.

Posted by: Just Lily at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (aTbRp)

120 >>>109 Hermione returning from summer vacation could be a whole episode

What did you do today? Buy a coffee? Read a newswpaper? Bang, those are two episodes.

It's a show about nothing. NOTHING!

Posted by: George Costanza, HBO Max VP in charge of development at April 13, 2023 04:28 PM (iHBZj)

121 100 they did for one half a movie, then they forgot they had that technology!

They also had a transporter that could beam you across the galazy without need of any ship (for about ohe half a movie, before they decided that technology didn't exist any longer)

they also Cured Death for ten minutes at the end of one movie, then pretended that death had not been cured in the next one
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:25 PM (iHBZj)

========

But Star Trek is totes hard scifi, yo.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:28 PM (UVZX7)

122 So get ready for more Romantic Intrigue among Fifth Graders, and get ready for one book to be drawn out over 8-10 episodes.

I really hope Harry gets to sniff Hermione this time!

Posted by: The Sheriff of Delaware at April 13, 2023 04:28 PM (lc5cP)

123 That's a great observation. I think with some REALLY good editing, someone could splice all three movies into one good movie.
Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (N1tpc)

AND it might even resemble the Hobbit!

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:28 PM (N1tpc)

124 The first book and movie are basically a scene for scene match as it is.

Posted by: Iron-Wombat at April 13, 2023 04:28 PM (lSIb9)

125 36 I have said I wish they had done this reboot from the perspective of Neville. The prophecy was thought to be about either, and Neville was, in the end, almost as important as Harry in destroying Voldermort, since he killed Negini.

It would be a fresh take and would allow a huge growth path for the joke character to the brave hero over the decade...
Posted by: Nova Local
---------
Won't happen--go all the way back to Pretty in Pink, females yutes in the test audience demanded pretty boy McCarthy over Duckie for Ringwald's bf.
------------
They would probably do better from the Disney perspective if Harry became Harriet and Ron, became Rhonda, fighting over Draco Malfoy, the bad guy with an unsuspecting heart but they end up after the bad guy betrays them making Harriet and Rhonda a couple.

Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:28 PM (dh/6v)

126 Casting:
Stacey Abrams as Hagrid
Adam Driver as Snape
Eddie Redmayne as Voldemort
Joy Behar as Professor McGonagall

Posted by: I the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 04:28 PM (PiwSw)

127 Trans extremists just don't get that Rowlings (whom is very liberal) sounds very very reasonable, is espousing the popular position, and that they are harming themselves via deteriorating public opinion and by extension the progressive cause by trying to cancel her and her work. But just as Satan often fails at subtlety because he just can't stand God. So too trans extremists just can't stand anyone popular disagreeing with them. Acceptance of trans persons would be a LOT higher if trans dogma wasn't shoved down our throats. But that would mean tolerating opinions about transsexualism that they disagree with.

Posted by: mikethemoose at April 13, 2023 04:28 PM (9FeWk)

128 If I'm not mistaken, the producers of ET (or maybe Spielberg himself) asked M&M Mars about using M&M's in the movie, but they said no. They then asked Hershey's (owner of Resse's) who said yes.

In today's remake, Pfizer would sign off on it being Viagra. And E.T.'s glowing finger would touch more than than audience's hearts.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at April 13, 2023 04:29 PM (ppBhU)

129 DEUS EX MACHINA AI Gods & ChatGPT religions are coming – they will be better than human priests & they could turn evil, warns experts

.. could this compete with the Church of Climate Change for followers ?

Posted by: SMOD at April 13, 2023 04:29 PM (RHGPo)

130 In today's remake, Pfizer would sign off on it being Viagra. And E.T.'s glowing finger would touch more than than audience's hearts.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at April 13, 2023 04:29 PM (ppBhU)
++++
LOLOLOLOL

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:29 PM (t0OGg)

131 Hermione returning from summer vacation could be a whole episode

Posted by: SNL at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (3vCGB)

One of the last good skits. Also, before Lindsay Lohan went crazy.

Posted by: 18-1 at April 13, 2023 04:29 PM (lc5cP)

132 120 >>>109 Hermione returning from summer vacation could be a whole episode

What did you do today? Buy a coffee? Read a newswpaper? Bang, those are two episodes.

It's a show about nothing. NOTHING!
Posted by: George Costanza, HBO Max VP in charge of development at April 13, 2023 04:28 PM (iHBZj)

========

I think that's called synergy.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:30 PM (UVZX7)

133 >>>
Kids LOVE the characters. They also LOVE the setting.

yeah but they love them as blank screens upon which to project themselves. You can conjure up three new character with two defining traits each and otherwise average everyday normal kids (or kid-ciphers), and kids would love those characters too, because they'd be up to the same adverturesome nonsnese and prankery the old characters were.

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:30 PM (iHBZj)

134 If I'm not mistaken, the producers of ET (or maybe Spielberg himself) asked M&M Mars about using M&M's in the movie, but they said no. They then asked Hershey's (owner of Resse's) who said yes.
Posted by: Doof at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (LLddH)

You are not mistaken.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 04:30 PM (DRSnL)

135 The game is fantastic, but soooo diverse. You have to ask yourself when the racial genocide happened post 1800s to make the British wizarding world so white.

They will probably cast a black Hermione for the TV show. And an actually gay actor to play Dumbledore. I'm prepping for it. It will be fun to see the woke try to cancel the cast for being in a "transphobic" show, but then are also canceling the career of a budding black girl and a gay man.

Posted by: LizLem at April 13, 2023 04:30 PM (+mkOR)

136 The thing about The Hobbit is that it's a child's book in a way that Lord of the Rings is not. Two movies, three movies, it makes no difference. The Hobbit was always going to suck because no one appears to have understood the difference in tone.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (ppBhU)
-----------
After LOTR came out, Tolkien himself wondered if he should revise "The Hobbit" to bring its tone in line with LOTR. He did some work on it, and a friend of his remarked that it was good, but it wasn't "The Hobbit". Tolkien dropped it after that.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 04:30 PM (2hlEI)

137 "This is a real stupid thing. Kids don't care about Harry Potter, the character. Or Hermoine or Rusty Beavers or whatever the other kid is called. Kids love the fantasy of going to Hogwarts."

Sounds like they need a Hogwarts Adventure Theme Park then.

Posted by: Rolling Donut Unharmed By gp's Flying Leap at April 13, 2023 04:31 PM (MvF+J)

138 .. could this compete with the Church of Climate Change for followers ?
Posted by: SMOD at April 13, 2023 04:29 PM (RHGPo)

What heresy is this?

Posted by: The Flying Spaghetti Monster at April 13, 2023 04:31 PM (PiwSw)

139 This latest German remake sucked IMHO. Didn't follow the book at all. And the tactics they showed were not being used at that later stage of the war.
Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at April 13, 2023 04:24 PM (Yk2Yh)

They left out the grue and viciousness of trench warfare that the author spent a lot of time describing. I was also very disappointed in the latest version.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2023 04:31 PM (BdMk6)

140 Two-face's gay cousin, yes.
Posted by: AlaBAMA

Heh, thoughtcrime and badthink all rolled up into one.

Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:31 PM (dh/6v)

141 Never read a Harry Potter book nor watched any of the movies. Anyone else with me? Or am I the only one in the world?
Posted by: Doof at April 13, 2023 04:14 PM (LLddH)

There's a few of us left.

Part of it, of course, is that I stopped reading teen literature after I was no longer a young adult.

Harry Potter is just The Hardy Boys with a wand.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:31 PM (N1tpc)

142

WHAT ABOUT THE BALLERINAS!!! WHY DONT YOU TIHNK OF THEM FOR ONCE!!!!

Posted by: Dr.Rev. Senator Your Highness E Buzz Miller, Esq PhD MA MS at April 13, 2023 04:31 PM (UCNv1)

143 >>I assumed this would take the form of a new series of movies, or a TV show, that would take place at Hogwart's. Hogwart's -- The Next Generation. That kind of thing.

How about, a couple of the gang work at a brewery.
My sister is perfect for the lead!

Posted by: Gary Marshall at April 13, 2023 04:31 PM (6Eoqc)

144 Way to milk that franchise.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at April 13, 2023 04:32 PM (ncXxy)

145 The first Hobbitt movie was so bad, so padded with extraneous garbage, I never bothered to see the rest.

Posted by: Farmer Bob at April 13, 2023 04:32 PM (iOTWL)

146 67 Dick Tracy.

Posted by: Bete at April 13, 2023 04:32 PM (qFxpY)

147 123 That's a great observation. I think with some REALLY good editing, someone could splice all three movies into one good movie.
Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (N1tpc)

========

I've seen a couple of fan edits. They're choppy as hell because they're effectively just splicing together completed footage, so it's a weird experience.

To make it really work, you need to get into the original files, in particular the sound files, and smooth things out.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:32 PM (UVZX7)

148 After LOTR came out, Tolkien himself wondered if he should revise "The Hobbit" to bring its tone in line with LOTR. He did some work on it, and a friend of his remarked that it was good, but it wasn't "The Hobbit". Tolkien dropped it after that.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 04:30 PM (2hlEI)
----
If you want great fantasy for children, stick with "The Hobbit" and "Chronicles of Narnia."

If you want great stories for adults, go with "Lord of the Rings" and the Space Trilogy.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 13, 2023 04:32 PM (YIVH2)

149 Casting:
Stacey Abrams as Hagrid
Adam Driver as Snape
Eddie Redmayne as Voldemort
Joy Behar as Professor McGonagall
Posted by: I the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 04:28 PM (PiwSw)

Driver and Redmayne would be pretty good choices.

Actually, maybe Driver asVoldemort and Redmayne as Snape.

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2023 04:33 PM (EHlgw)

150 I love Harry Potter the books and the movies

Posted by: It's me donna at April 13, 2023 04:33 PM (bs+z0)

151 93
'And the tactics they showed were not being used at that later stage of the war.'

I have not yet seen. What tactics did they show?

Posted by: Dr. Claw at April 13, 2023 04:33 PM (ruYJi)

152 This busty, leggy brunette fondly remembers Harry Potter, and will recommend that her niece watch the new series:
https://is.gd/eFIUX9

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:33 PM (t0OGg)

153 Reboots? Not good enough for this blog.

This blog deserves the max. Me.

Posted by: Max Boot at April 13, 2023 04:33 PM (a3Q+t)

154 I really hope it's being updated for "modern audiences"

Posted by: brak at April 13, 2023 04:33 PM (25k9m)

155 Aha! TJM is working on a movie script!

Posted by: runner at April 13, 2023 04:34 PM (5a2xV)

156 Ukraine launched an investigation Wednesday into a gruesome video that purportedly shows the beheading of a Ukrainian soldier, in the latest accusation of atrocities said to have been committed by Russia since it invaded in February 2022.

The video spread quickly online and drew outrage from officials in Kyiv, including President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, as well as international organizations. The Kremlin called the footage “horrible” but said it needed to be verified.

Posted by: SMOD at April 13, 2023 04:34 PM (RHGPo)

157 There was a lot of stuff left out of the films.

Posted by: Chatterbox Mouse at April 13, 2023 04:34 PM (5u1+1)

158 This busty, leggy brunette fondly remembers Harry Potter, and will recommend that her niece watch the new series:
https://is.gd/eFIUX9
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2023 04:33 PM (t0OGg)
---
You know she cosplayed as a Harry Potter character at least once...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 13, 2023 04:34 PM (YIVH2)

159 Actually, maybe Driver asVoldemort and Redmayne as Snape.
Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2023 04:33 PM (EHlgw)

I just want to hear Redmayne yell like he did in Jupiter Ascending.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 04:34 PM (PiwSw)

160 I liked the Hobbit trilogy movies. I still think Jackson did a very good job with the story.
Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2023 04:23 PM (BdMk6)

Well, my days of not taking you seriously have certainly come to a middle.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:35 PM (N1tpc)

161 I just want to hear Redmayne yell like he did in Jupiter Ascending.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 04:34 PM (PiwSw)
----------
That movie couldn't even kill Sean Bean right!

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 04:35 PM (2hlEI)

162 76 Other han the trans ones?

Posted by: Bete at April 13, 2023 04:35 PM (qFxpY)

163 I assumed this would take the form of a new series of movies, or a TV show, that would take place at Hogwart's. Hogwart's -- The Next Generation. That kind of thing.

--------------------------

Seeing as the last movie ended with the main cast's kids going off to Hogwarts, that would have seemed like a natural move.

Posted by: No One Of Consequence at April 13, 2023 04:35 PM (uPgE/)

164 BY TYLER DURDEN; THURSDAY, APR 13, 2023 - 12:00 PM; ZeroHedge
A tech executive named Nima Momeni was arrested by San Francisco police Thursday morning in the April 4 killing of Cash App founder Bob Lee, after conducting an operation outside the city's borders, Mission Local reports.

Momeni, the owner of Expand IT, was arrested in Emeryville, located roughly 11 miles from San Francisco across the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge. The two men reportedly knew each other.

Multiple police sources have described the predawn knifing that last week left the 43-year-old Lee dead in a deserted section of downtown San Francisco as neither a robbery attempt nor a random attack.

Rather, Lee and Momeni were portrayed by police as being familiar with one another. In the wee hours of April 4, they were purportedly driving together through downtown San Francisco in a car registered to the suspect. - Mission Local

Posted by: VP of Excellence, Alissa Heinerscheid at April 13, 2023 04:35 PM (Vwz3I)

165 Fox News: Philadelphia police investigating after trailer containing $750K in dimes broken into at Walmart parking lot

https://tinyurl.com/adjvfjfp

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2023 04:35 PM (EHlgw)

166 That's a great observation. I think with some REALLY good editing, someone could splice all three movies into one good movie.
Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:27 PM (N1tpc)

========

I've seen a couple of fan edits. They're choppy as hell because they're effectively just splicing together completed footage, so it's a weird experience.

To make it really work, you need to get into the original files, in particular the sound files, and smooth things out.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:32 PM (UVZX7)

I'm surprised that they haven't done that yet.

As a edited "Hobbit" is a big ole pile of money just waiting to be made, for relative pennies.

All you need is a competent editor and the original footage.

Posted by: naturalfake at April 13, 2023 04:35 PM (RJQ8g)

167 Harry Potter has a lot of things that are just thrown out there and then forgotten that are ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING if you spend more than 5 seconds thinking about.

Things like how Hermione straight up erases her parents memory at the beginning of the last book and it's never mentioned again.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at April 13, 2023 04:36 PM (fKIdX)

168 #164 Off, fratty sock.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 04:36 PM (Vwz3I)

169 Is that Susan Sarandon? I've never seen Rocky Horror blah blah blah.

She looks like Sarah Polley. I guess Sarah Polley looks like her.

*ponders*

I wonder whose tits were bigger, prime vs prime.
Posted by: spindrift at April 13, 2023

***
Susan S. was pretty hot back then.

And in another unrelated bit of trivia, I point out that Dr. Frank N. Furter was played by a young Tim Curry -- who was the doctor aboard the Russian submarine in Hunt for Red October.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:36 PM (J2vNu)

170 Like I said yesterday, there are tens of thousands of good to great movies going back 90 years for free on the Internet that I have yet to watch and I'm sure I can fill the rest of my life with watching.

Posted by: MAGA_Ken at April 13, 2023 04:36 PM (cMXNt)

171 After LOTR came out, Tolkien himself wondered if he should revise "The Hobbit" to bring its tone in line with LOTR. He did some work on it, and a friend of his remarked that it was good, but it wasn't "The Hobbit". Tolkien dropped it after that.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 04:30 PM (2hlEI)

Thinking about it, the difference in tone is arguably an important part of the overall story.

Bilbo basically lives in remembrance of his "adventure" and longs to go out again. It was a good thing for him. In contrast, Frodo's adventure leaves him scarred and forever broken.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at April 13, 2023 04:37 PM (wmDcS)

172 108
'Harry Potter is for 8 year olds.'

I had an engineering manager that was a big HP fan. I had trouble taking him seriously as an adult after I learned that.(Sorry HP fans. But you don't need my buy-in anyway)
Amazingly, he was a lefty as well.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at April 13, 2023 04:37 PM (ruYJi)

173 Actually, maybe Driver asVoldemort and Redmayne as Snape.
Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2023 04:33 PM (EHlgw)

I want to see Adam Driver playing literally every character.

He'd do it straight, too, and it would be awesome.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at April 13, 2023 04:37 PM (fKIdX)

174 I have to disagree with your take on the series. I saw the first couple of movies, and was deeply disappointed by how they departed from the books. (And Chris Columbus, he of "Home Alone", was the wrong guy to direct.) Of course, jamming an entire lengthy novel into a single feature-length film is very difficult; and for that reason, the mini-series format makes more sense for the Potter books.
Of course, it could turn out to be a piece of crap. But I'm willing to give it a try. I do hope that they can re-use John Williams' music, which, IMHO, is the best thing to come from the Potter movies.

Posted by: Nemo at April 13, 2023 04:37 PM (S6ArX)

175 Mitch McConnell has hog warts.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 13, 2023 04:37 PM (63Dwl)

176 And in another unrelated bit of trivia, I point out that Dr. Frank N. Furter was played by a young Tim Curry -- who was the doctor aboard the Russian submarine in Hunt for Red October.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:36 PM (J2vNu)

And the butler in Clue.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 04:38 PM (PiwSw)

177 Hollywood "creative talent" are so dimwitted now this is all they know how to do; take something already done and fuck it to death with CGI.

They can't do anything right at all; take "The Gray Man", a thrilling and well plotted book that Netflix felt compelled to completely dismantle.

Posted by: UGAdawg at April 13, 2023 04:38 PM (tRd71)

178 'And the tactics they showed were not being used at that later stage of the war.'

I have not yet seen. What tactics did they show?

Posted by: Dr. Claw
___________

They depicted human wave attacks and packed front line trenches like it was 1914 or 15, when it was supposedly approaching the armistice. The Germans were using infiltration tactics and defense in depth long before that.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at April 13, 2023 04:38 PM (Yk2Yh)

179 Mitch McConnell has hog warts.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 13, 2023 04:37 PM (63Dwl)

He should have protected his wand while exploring Elaine's chamber of secrets.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at April 13, 2023 04:38 PM (wmDcS)

180 Wonder if they'll race swap any of the main characters.

Posted by: Tuna at April 13, 2023 04:38 PM (gLRfa)

181 Fox News: Philadelphia police investigating after trailer containing $750K in dimes broken into at Walmart parking lot
--------------
That's a shitload of dimes!

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (Vwz3I)

182 115
'You have not seen another grown man wield Dumbledore's wand,'

Harry! Come into my chamber. I have much to teach you.

Posted by: Dumbledore at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (ruYJi)

183 Tolkien started writing a sequel to LOTR called The New Shadow.

It was about a time of peace some decades after the War of the Ring and, I believe, the death of Aragorn. There is a young man who enters into an orc cult because his life of peace has no real meaning to him.

Tolkien gave up after about a chapter because he considered it too dark and depressing.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (UVZX7)

184 I will always know Tim Curry as Wadsworth the Butler.

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (iHBZj)

185 Twitchy:
"Carpe Donktum put together a fairly spectacular thread claiming to be a third-grade teacher teaching his class about Jesus. He also made a point to tweet about how it’s his and his student’s secret … sort of like the trans activist teachers have been pulling with kids and their gender."

https://tinyurl.com/4nv2425k

Posted by: redridinghood at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (NpAcC)

186 In fairness, anytime a novel is adapted into a movie a lot of details have to go. Things have to be streamlined and simplified. A TV series could be more true to the book by letting the full story play out.

But it might end up like the Hobbit movies, where they need even more runtime and start sticking in more and more new, bad material. All computer generated because that's cheaper.

A friend of mine commented that the reason most sequels suck is that most movies suck, period; and in his estimation making a movie as a sequel doesn't increase its chances of not sucking. Apply that to this TV series, and it will probably suck just because almost everything sucks these days.

It would be a huge culture war win if this does get made and it really does follow the books closely. There will be huge pressure to make it more woke: add new, trans classmates! Add gay/lesbian/bisexual/whatever characters who sit around talking about how gay/lesbian/bisexual/whatever they are! De-emphasize Harry's role and increase all the female characters' roles! If they simply don't do all that, and simply make the books into a TV show, I'll count it as a win.

Posted by: mr_jack at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (LNPSJ)

187 or I guess he was really Mr. Boddy, huh?

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (iHBZj)

188
This latest German remake sucked IMHO. Didn't follow the book at all. And the tactics they showed were not being used at that later stage of the war.
Posted by: Biff Pocoroba

The first sequence from the young Kraut recruit in the trench going from weeping in terror to bloodthirsty berserker with an entrenching tool, to dead body on a pile, and his uniform being sent back to continue the cycle was awesomely creepy. Best part of the film.

The rest was okay, but not even close to the same standard.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2023 04:40 PM (n+4am)

189 Bilbo basically lives in remembrance of his "adventure" and longs to go out again. It was a good thing for him. In contrast, Frodo's adventure leaves him scarred and forever broken.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at April 13, 2023 04:37 PM (wmDcS)
---------
Contrast with "Treasure Island", where in every adaptation I've seen, Jim sees the adventure as ultimately a good thing. In the original novel, he's still having frickin' nightmares about it.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 04:40 PM (2hlEI)

190 Fox News: Philadelphia police investigating after trailer containing $750K in dimes broken into at Walmart parking lot
--------------
That's a shitload of dimes!
Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (Vwz3I)
******
Do they still make dimes?

Posted by: redridinghood at April 13, 2023 04:40 PM (NpAcC)

191 >>> 36 I have said I wish they had done this reboot from the perspective of Neville. The prophecy was thought to be about either, and Neville was, in the end, almost as important as Harry in destroying Voldermort, since he killed Negini. It would be a fresh take and would allow a huge growth path for the joke character to the brave hero over the decade... Posted by: Nova Local

Too original and clever and outside the box... so it can't happen.

The actor that played Neville was in The Pale Blue Eye, and I thought he played an excellent Poe! Bounced off Christian Bale extremely well. Hope he gets more things. Maybe he can get cast in a new role in the Harry Potter TV show, that would be fun.

Posted by: LizLem at April 13, 2023 04:40 PM (+mkOR)

192 yeah but they love them as blank screens upon which to project themselves. You can conjure up three new character with two defining traits each and otherwise average everyday normal kids (or kid-ciphers), and kids would love those characters too, because they'd be up to the same adverturesome nonsnese and prankery the old characters were.

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:30 PM (iHBZj)

Yep. But the problem with blank screens is that if they tamper with them it makes the people who are projecting onto them mad because it's no longer their screen. Also, middle school kids could generally care less about canon, but the adults who grew up with this certainly do. Which is why the movies were hits. They didn't act like the Canon didn't matter.

Posted by: Just Lily at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (aTbRp)

193 I had this wonderful idea, we could use ChatGPT to finish George R R Martin's Game of Thrones Series.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (xhaym)

194 Tim Curry was also Darkness in Legend. Guy's got range.

Posted by: leoncaruthers at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (UfRqq)

195 Well, my days of not taking you seriously have certainly come to a middle.
Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:35 PM (N1tpc)

You're right and I was wrong. I was thinking of the LOTR trilogy movies.

The Hobbit was something else entirely. Agree that it could have been done with just one movie.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (BdMk6)

196 The first book and movie are basically a scene for scene match as it is.
Posted by: Iron-Wombat at April 13, 2023

***
I was not sure the film would do the first HP book justice. Then I saw the trailer with the sets. Hogwarts looked *old*, with rust stains on the sinks in the bathrooms. Grand work.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (J2vNu)

197 I feel the same about this as I feel about the tranimals ravaging ladies' sportsball. Blue-on-blue chaos is cool with me.

I hope they come for Harry Potter and make it all about their weird sex fetish, and destroy the franchise, so I never have to hear about it again, and all the adult babies of my generation have to watch their thing get ruined for once.

I also wouldn't mind if they were drinking hormone and antidepressant cocktails out of Rowling's skull by the end of it, either.

It's high time Lefties got bitten by one of their own dogs.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (oINRc)

198 There was a lot of stuff left out of the films.

Posted by: Chatterbox Mouse at April 13, 2023 04:34 PM (5u1+1)

I know nothing of the books or the films. However, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Books and films are two different media. As long as the film maintains the feel and intent of the book, leaving stuff out or adjusting things is fine. I remember one review from one of the early films dinging it for slavishly following the book.

Posted by: Crom Laughs at April 13, 2023 04:42 PM (DBek0)

199 I love seeing the "uproar" about more Harry Potter because of Rowling. The "uproar" is a bunch of trannies and a few soyboys and Karen's who write fanzine like crap. My dream is that the trannies make so much noise that they get societally stomped on by the hundreds of millions of Potter fans. A guy can dream

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 13, 2023 04:42 PM (386ly)

200 Posted by: Bitter Clinger at April 13, 2023 03:28 PM (EFMJK)

Tim Curry was in an episode of Criminal Minds. A show that I watched mostly because wife likes it. But he made me care about a psychopathic killer. He is an outstanding actor.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Southpaw at April 13, 2023 04:42 PM (xPJvm)

201 191 >>> 36 I have said I wish they had done this reboot from the perspective of Neville. The prophecy was thought to be about either, and Neville was, in the end, almost as important as Harry in destroying Voldermort, since he killed Negini. It would be a fresh take and would allow a huge growth path for the joke character to the brave hero over the decade... Posted by: Nova Local

Too original and clever and outside the box... so it can't happen.

The actor that played Neville was in The Pale Blue Eye, and I thought he played an excellent Poe! Bounced off Christian Bale extremely well. Hope he gets more things. Maybe he can get cast in a new role in the Harry Potter TV show, that would be fun.
Posted by: LizLem at April 13, 2023 04:40 PM (+mkOR)

-----------------------------------

Not Neville. Dudley.

Posted by: No One Of Consequence at April 13, 2023 04:42 PM (uPgE/)

202 172 108
'Harry Potter is for 8 year olds.'

I had an engineering manager that was a big HP fan. I had trouble taking him seriously as an adult after I learned that.(Sorry HP fans. But you don't need my buy-in anyway)
Amazingly, he was a lefty as well.
Posted by: Dr. Claw

Good children's books often have a depth to them that can make them enjoyable for adults. That being said, Rowling's work is popular among a lot of people, whether it lasts is a question of time.

But, it has some disturbing ideas that a more or less secret elite possessing a special power have the right to rule the commoners.

Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:42 PM (dh/6v)

203 "The actor that played Neville was in The Pale Blue Eye, and I thought he played an excellent Poe! Bounced off Christian Bale extremely well. Hope he gets more things. Maybe he can get cast in a new role in the Harry Potter TV show, that would be fun."

He was in a number of episodes of "All Creatures Great and Small" on PBS

Posted by: Tuna at April 13, 2023 04:42 PM (gLRfa)

204 I had this wonderful idea, we could use ChatGPT to finish George R R Martin's Game of Thrones Series.
Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (xhaym)

The necessary nihilism will self-destruct ChatGPT.

Posted by: Crom Laughs at April 13, 2023 04:43 PM (DBek0)

205 188 The first sequence from the young Kraut recruit in the trench going from weeping in terror to bloodthirsty berserker with an entrenching tool, to dead body on a pile, and his uniform being sent back to continue the cycle was awesomely creepy. Best part of the film.

The rest was okay, but not even close to the same standard.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2023 04:40 PM (n+4am)

=========

My problem with the opening is that it's oppressive in tone. There's absolutely no sense of the thrill of going to war from the perspective of Paul because everything around his smile is dour and depressing, up to and including the score.

A brighter look at the beginning matched with a lighter, more nationalistic and militaristic score would have helped tremendously. You can keep a lot of the coat being reassigned to him stuff, too, working in counterpoint to what we see.

But the film is oppressive from the start because the filmmakers can't risk a single audience member not getting the point.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:43 PM (UVZX7)

206 You want us to KILL OURSELVES?!

CAUSE WE WILL!!

WE'LL KILL OURSELVES AND THE GENOCIDE WILL BE ON YOUR HANDS!!

Posted by: The Transgender Suicide Squad at April 13, 2023 04:43 PM (krQz2)

207 agree with you that the Hobbit movies fell totally flat for me. Having an idiotic dwarf-elf love affair was just icing on the shit sandwich.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 13, 2023 04:43 PM (trdmm)

208 Tim Curry played Simon Cowell in a Psych episode

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:43 PM (iHBZj)

209 194 Tim Curry was also Darkness in Legend. Guy's got range.
Posted by: leoncaruthers at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (UfRqq)

-------------------------------

And Long John Silver in Muppets Treasure Island

Posted by: No One Of Consequence at April 13, 2023 04:43 PM (uPgE/)

210 Don't kid yourself, like the game, It will be full of current year.

The fight will always be over low info voters and their children. We are in denial about this but the left embraces.

Either we figure out how to organize and support media that reflects our any of values or we may as well just hand over our guns and put ourselves on the trains and save the failure theatre.

Pro tip for right wing media, lesson communists used to say, don't make communist movies. Makes regular movies and insert a few moments of communist messages.

Posted by: Shiggz at April 13, 2023 04:43 PM (1xXb+)

211 "Treasure Island"

Sometimes I really wish they'd do a high-end version of childhood favorites, like Treasure Island, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Swiss Family Robinson . . .

Then I remember where I am, shudder at what they'd do to these today, and am thankful they don't.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at April 13, 2023 04:43 PM (ppBhU)

212 Pale Blue Eye was supposed to be an origin story for a Poe franchise. But it wasn't that good.

Posted by: blaster at April 13, 2023 04:44 PM (pwExq)

213 184 I will always know Tim Curry as Wadsworth the Butler.
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (iHBZj)

And Ace, you have impeccable movie taste! It is his best acting ever!

Posted by: Nova Local at April 13, 2023 04:44 PM (exHjb)

214 196 I was not sure the film would do the first HP book justice. Then I saw the trailer with the sets. Hogwarts looked *old*, with rust stains on the sinks in the bathrooms. Grand work.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (J2vNu)

=========

It looked better when Alfonso Cuaron gave it a nicer layer of age in the third movie. I think the first two are dull affairs that look pretty bland because Chris Columbus is largely a dull and bland filmmaker.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 04:44 PM (UVZX7)

215
I had this wonderful idea, we could use ChatGPT to finish George R R Martin's Game of Thrones Series.
Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (xhaym)

Heh.

I got to thinking about Lincoln's letter to McClellan while McC was dithering around with his thumb up his ass instead of advancing on Lee. Something like "Since you're not using your Army right now, I'm wondering if I could borrow it for a few weeks."

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2023 04:44 PM (n+4am)

216 176
'And the butler in Clue.'

And Pennywise the Clown.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at April 13, 2023 04:44 PM (ruYJi)

217 You're right and I was wrong. I was thinking of the LOTR trilogy movies.

The Hobbit was something else entirely. Agree that it could have been done with just one movie.
Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (BdMk6)

See how Firefly just brings the world together? Comity and reconciliation.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:44 PM (N1tpc)

218 Irish president's dog doesn't like Biden: Bernese Mountain Misneach BARKS at Joe when he walks over and tries to pet him during Dublin visit

Posted by: DB - rueing the day at April 13, 2023 04:44 PM (geLO8)

219 i didn't mind the love triangle... I mean, the second film is almost all invented padding.

The weird thing is that the 2nd film is making up all this nonsense to pad it out, but then cuts one really funny scene -- where Gandalf tricks Beorn into letting all the dwarves into his house.

So they cut out a funny five minute segment and then make up all this business about having to smuggle the dwarves into Lake Town because it's a police state or something?

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (iHBZj)

220 If you want great stories for adults, go with "Lord of the Rings" and the Space Trilogy.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 13, 2023 04:32 PM (YIVH2)

Another entry in this category would be a little-known trilogy "The Lamb Among the Stars" by a Welsh mining engineer, Chris Walley. I highly recommend it.

https://is.gd/e0F4Gz

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (PiwSw)

221 Quote Tweet Bellingcat @bellingcat · 4h
NEW: Bellingcat's @AricToler worked with the @nytimes to uncover a trail of digital evidence that appears to identify Jack Teixeira, a 21-year-old Air National Guardsman, as the leader of an online gaming chat group where US intelligence documents leaked

Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald · 46m
Bellingcat, funded by the US Security State and the EU, worked with the NY Times to do the FBI's work of finding the 21-year-old leaker of classified documents. They got 'em!

This year's FBI Agent of the Year will be jointly awarded to the NYT, WPost and Bellingcat.
https://tinyurl.com/2sxxdc46

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (Vwz3I)

222 In fairness, anytime a novel is adapted into a movie a lot of details have to go. Things have to be streamlined and simplified. A TV series could be more true to the book by letting the full story play out.
----
You'd think so, but Amazon's Wheel of Time fiasco is an example of how not to do it. They only had 8 episodes, I think. But they could easily have told the WHOLE story from the Eye of the World in 10 episodes with little to no padding and little to no cutting, just some creative editing.

They managed to break the entire lore of the world within 60 seconds of the first episode. I timed it because I didn't know that was even possible.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (YIVH2)

223 No, the real story is that this is Literal Violence against trans people and threatens them with Actual Genocide.

----

Maybe as a peace offering to the trannies they can cast Dylan Mulberry as Hermione.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (9bp5t)

224 @185 carpe donctums troll thread was magnificent. Unfortunately some conservatives didn't realize what he was doing and jumped on him for bringing Jesus and Christianity into public school. They didn't realize it was a play on the groomers who teach in public school

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (386ly)

225 The original movie were very faithful to the books. Compared to most movie adaptations, shockingly so.

Posted by: Synova at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (BD/yx)

226 Pud Light wants you to wrap your lips around a "big 16 oz.", Oil of Olay wants you to moisturize your lady-c0ck, but J.K. Rowling is the problem.

Posted by: Mountain Trolls R Us at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (VsUo2)

227 Come to me mitch.

Posted by: Grim Reaper at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (DMyTF)

228 Fox News: Philadelphia police investigating after trailer containing $750K in dimes broken into at Walmart parking lot

Posted by: Robert

Who keeps 7.5 million dimes in a trailer? That's over 30,000 pounds.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 13, 2023 04:46 PM (lTGtQ)

229 or I guess he was really Mr. Boddy, huh?
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (iHBZj)

Depends on the ending. There were three different endings. When it was in theaters, you only saw one of the three, depending on what theater you went to.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 04:46 PM (DRSnL)

230 I mean, as far as the made-up bullshit in the 2nd movie, the love triangle is one of the less obnoxious bits of padding.

Legolas is a straight-up Marvel Super-Hero in The Hobbit. They also slap a digital mask over his face to erase the aging that the actor has experienced in the intervening years. It's more eerie than Dylan Mulvaney's fake face.

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:46 PM (iHBZj)

231 189 Bilbo basically lives in remembrance of his "adventure" and longs to go out again. It was a good thing for him. In contrast, Frodo's adventure leaves him scarred and forever broken.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at April 13, 2023 04:37 PM (wmDcS)

Tolkien scholars have noted that Frodo's aftermath matches that of Tolkien himself in WW1. He was gassed on the front lines at the Somme and his lungs were badly burned. He lived, but he never really healed. As he would say, some wounds are just too deep.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 13, 2023 04:46 PM (trdmm)

232 #221 Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald · 45m
A 21-year-old member of the Mass. Air National Guard has access to the most secrete, sensitive documents in the US Govt? I think not.

This is a bullshit leak, despite some relevant docs, the impact of which has been severely overblown from the start.

Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald · 40m
The only thing weirder (and more twisted) than watching self-proclaimed journalists be the leading advocates for censorship is watching them eagerly do the FBI's work of catching people who leak classified documents.

I hope the real function of these corporations is clear.

[same link: https://tinyurl.com/2sxxdc46

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 04:46 PM (Vwz3I)

233 That's a great observation. I think with some REALLY good editing, someone could splice all three movies into one good movie.

It's been done by a fan, for pretty cheap, but still better than the 3 movie behemoth:
https://tinyurl.com/3jxpe72r

Posted by: scruboak at April 13, 2023 04:46 PM (jjH9L)

234 "7 Hollywood literally can't do anything but remakes and reboots, can they?

That's the entire managerial class in a nutshell: no real creative ability or willingness to take risks, except for financial shenanigans where they can offload their losses onto society."

There are numerous books on early Silents that absolutely prove audiences flock to remakes in the same way theater audiences go to multiple roadshows of CATS. The Spoilers; Last Of The Mohicans; this has been gong on since film began and has nothing to do with creative imagination and everything to do with audiences and their money. This supposition is absolutely mistaken. Sequels and remakes are fueled by mass audiences and their money.
And I'm back in Europe, unimpressed by LOT Airlines. Also, seemed to be a pissload of crying women flying to Ukraine.

Posted by: LenNeal at April 13, 2023 04:47 PM (870Pt)

235 "Who keeps 7.5 million dimes in a trailer? That's over 30,000 pounds.
Posted by: Thomas Paine"

Dammit

Posted by: Luap Nor at April 13, 2023 04:47 PM (iayUP)

236 >>>Depends on the ending. There were three different endings. When it was in theaters, you only saw one of the three, depending on what theater you went to.

I go by the theory advanced by the actual DVD, that the last ending show is "what REALLY happened." IN that one, Wadsworth is Mr. Boddy.

Even though that makes Wadworth, the hero, into the villain.

Posted by: ace at April 13, 2023 04:47 PM (iHBZj)

237 228 Fox News: Philadelphia police investigating after trailer containing $750K in dimes broken into at Walmart parking lot

Posted by: Robert

Who keeps 7.5 million dimes in a trailer? That's over 30,000 pounds.
Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 13, 2023 04:46 PM (lTGtQ)

---------------------

Well, where else would you keep that many dimes?

Posted by: No One Of Consequence at April 13, 2023 04:47 PM (uPgE/)

238 'No one at senior level' was aware Bud Light had made 'mistake' of partnering with Biden-backed trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney: Anheuser-Busch throws Harvard-educated marketing VP under bus as it loses $6BN

Posted by: DB - rueing the day at April 13, 2023 04:47 PM (geLO8)

239
He was in a number of episodes of "All Creatures Great and Small" on PBS
Posted by: Tuna

All The Long Legeddy Beasties

https://youtu.be/8LQYBXQwD_s

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 13, 2023 04:47 PM (63Dwl)

240 And Pennywise the Clown.
Posted by: Dr. Claw at April 13, 2023 04:44 PM (ruYJi)

I totally forgot about that.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 04:47 PM (DRSnL)

241 >>>some wounds are just too deep.

I feel that way about my anus.

Posted by: David French at April 13, 2023 04:48 PM (iHBZj)

242 @185 carpe donctums troll thread was magnificent. Unfortunately some conservatives didn't realize what he was doing and jumped on him for bringing Jesus and Christianity into public school. They didn't realize it was a play on the groomers who teach in public school
Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (386ly)

There are a lot of very dense people. Many of them "conservatives".

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:48 PM (N1tpc)

243 The essential reason why most sequels stink is this. In anything but a TV series or series of novels about continuing characters, the story we're reading or watching is *the* most important event in the hero's life. We don't care about Scarlett after Gone With the Wind, or the lead humans after King Kong is over. They met the challenge, or failed to, and everything after that is not as dramatic.

A continuing TV show has to avoid slipping into melodrama, so the lead can't have a Most Important Event every week. Capt. Kirk's defining moment in the TV series was his affair with Edith Keeler, and having to let her die. There were more stories to be told, yes, but not as dramatic.

Most sequels force it: There is no more real story to be told. Aliens, Wrath of Khan, and a few other sequels manage to tell good stories. Most can't.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:48 PM (J2vNu)

244 The theater I went to had the Miss Scarlett ending.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 04:48 PM (DRSnL)

245 It's high time Lefties got bitten by one of their own dogs.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2023 04:41 PM (oINRc)

She may be vile, but she has principles. One of her recent tweets was

War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength. The Penised Individual Who Raped You Is a Woman.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2023 04:48 PM (xhaym)

246 207
' Having an idiotic dwarf-elf love affair was just icing on the shit sandwich.'

I felt pretty happy for the little dude being able to score with Evangeline Lilly.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at April 13, 2023 04:48 PM (ruYJi)

247 @185 carpe donctums troll thread was magnificent. Unfortunately some conservatives didn't realize what he was doing and jumped on him for bringing Jesus and Christianity into public school. They didn't realize it was a play on the groomers who teach in public school
Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 13, 2023 04:45 PM (386ly)
******
I loved the baptizing in the sink.

Posted by: redridinghood at April 13, 2023 04:49 PM (NpAcC)

248 >>> And in another unrelated bit of trivia, I point out that Dr. Frank N. Furter was played by a young Tim Curry -- who was the doctor aboard the Russian submarine in Hunt for Red October.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:36 PM (J2vNu)
And the butler in Clue.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes

Another bit of trivia... Tim Curry was in The Worst Witch, an 80s movie about a clumsy young witch attending Miss Cackle's academy for witches, who ends up saving the day. Sound familiar?

I'm still surprised the creator of that story never sued JK Rowling, back when everyone was trying to sue her claiming she ripped off their work.

The camp is amazing, and Tim Curry sings: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PUhuPn8_d0Q

Posted by: LizLem at April 13, 2023 04:49 PM (+mkOR)

249 Carpe Donktum's twitter thread today marks him as a True Grandmaster of Trolling. That was one of the best threads I have seen in a long time! And of course Leftoid idiots fell for it, because how could they not?

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 13, 2023 04:50 PM (trdmm)

250 >>>I had this wonderful idea, we could use ChatGPT to finish George R R Martin's Game of Thrones Series.
Posted by: Kindltot

I don't want this.

Posted by: ChatGPT building on all of Jon Snow's Dialogue at April 13, 2023 04:50 PM (iHBZj)

251 Hmm, Tim Curry also played a Romanian(?) in the Crichton movie "Congo". His accent was...unfortunate.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 04:50 PM (PiwSw)

252
Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald · 40m
The only thing weirder (and more twisted) than watching self-proclaimed journalists be the leading advocates for censorship is watching them eagerly do the FBI's work of catching people who leak classified documents.

So much for The Pentagon Papers.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 13, 2023 04:50 PM (63Dwl)

253 I've come to realize that is what hurts.

I crappy show with a crappy idea is funny.

A crappy show with a good idea is a tragedy.

A crappy show with a good idea, and crap loads of money backing it is just unbearable.

The shows that kill me are the ones where...it could have been so good. They could have just followed the source materiel. No inserted garbage.

Posted by: Comrade Roboto at April 13, 2023 04:51 PM (+DS2f)

254
Y'know, one could make the case that Rowling's TERF war with the trannies was a total fabrication on her part, several years in the making, just so she could sell a TV reboot.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2023 04:51 PM (n+4am)

255 Good children's books often have a depth to them that can make them enjoyable for adults. That being said, Rowling's work is popular among a lot of people, whether it lasts is a question of time.

But, it has some disturbing ideas that a more or less secret elite possessing a special power have the right to rule the commoners.
Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:42 PM (dh/6v)

Yup. HP was very class-conscious. The magician class was usually always deemed better than the muggles, even among the protagonists.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2023 04:51 PM (BdMk6)

256 You want us to KILL OURSELVES?!

CAUSE WE WILL!!

WE'LL KILL OURSELVES AND THE GENOCIDE WILL BE ON YOUR HANDS!!
Posted by: The Transgender Suicide Squad at April 13, 2023

***
Your terms are acceptable

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:51 PM (J2vNu)

257 I don't want this.
Posted by: ChatGPT building on all of Jon Snow's Dialogue at April 13, 2023 04:50 PM (iHBZj)
-----------
At least you don't have to do Brienne of Tarth endlessly questing in the wrong direction, and the reader knows it's the wrong direction.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 04:51 PM (2hlEI)

258 So the leaker of the national security papers was a Christian, racist, anti war , white supremacist ? LOL... How perfect

Posted by: It's me donna at April 13, 2023 04:52 PM (bs+z0)

259 238 'No one at senior level' was aware Bud Light had made 'mistake' of partnering with Biden-backed trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney: Anheuser-Busch throws Harvard-educated marketing VP under bus as it loses $6BN

Posted by: DB - rueing the day at April 13, 2023 04:47 PM (geLO

I told the wife yesterday that this was going to be their response. Claim ignorance of everything and let the chips fall where they may and try to pick up the pieces later.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at April 13, 2023 04:52 PM (ncXxy)

260 I've never read any of the Harry Potter books, assuming that they were intended for children and/or young adults.

Was I in error in that assumption?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 13, 2023 04:52 PM (YqDXo)

261 223
'Maybe as a peace offering to the trannies they can cast Dylan Mulberry as Hermione.'
Shit, that would be funny. Rowling would rage-stroke.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at April 13, 2023 04:52 PM (ruYJi)

262 The movies usually the whole series are on TV often enough watch the first one if you never have.

Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2023 04:53 PM (xhxe8)

263 Muppet's Treasure Island is for me the best of all the Muppet movies (although I also love Muppets in Space) because it's really just the Tim Curry show, surrounded by helpful muppets.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 13, 2023 04:53 PM (trdmm)

264 Most sequels force it: There is no more real story to be told. Aliens, Wrath of Khan, and a few other sequels manage to tell good stories. Most can't.

Star Trek was episodic in nature. Competent writers with a budget should be able to churn out one of these every two to three years, if they could just get over retelling the same day story and blowing up the Enterprise every other movie, and if they only realized that Starfleet has a lot of ships and crews out there. But the competent writers thing is a big stumbling block.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at April 13, 2023 04:53 PM (ppBhU)

265 "29 Look, somebody has to get to the bottom of transubstantiation."

This kind of comment is why I'm here! That's some funny shit, also Muldoon's limericks, that guy is like superhuman.

Posted by: LenNeal at April 13, 2023 04:54 PM (870Pt)

266 Why won't they remake something good like the Lassie movies or the Apple Dumpling Gang?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 13, 2023 04:54 PM (f/z+J)

267 My daughter, who is 16, said the other day "You know what was wrong with Ant Man 3? Changing size is fun and funny and amazing when it is related to something we know the size of. a person growing to the size of a house, or as small as an ant."

"Putting Ant man in the "quantum realm" where we don't really understand what the size of anything is supposed to be screws that up. It's just weird."

Posted by: Comrade Roboto at April 13, 2023 04:54 PM (+DS2f)

268
Was I in error in that assumption?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 13, 2023 04:52 PM (YqDXo)

I think it's good for adults as well as older kids... Of course I'm a fan

Posted by: It's me donna at April 13, 2023 04:54 PM (bs+z0)

269 Hmm, Tim Curry also played a Romanian(?) in the Crichton movie "Congo". His accent was...unfortunate.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 04:50 PM (PiwSw)

Ha, I forgot about that, too!

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 04:54 PM (DRSnL)

270 According to Wiki, Tim Curry also played Mozart in the 1980 Broadway production of Amadeus!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:54 PM (J2vNu)

271 Most sequels force it: There is no more real story to be told. Aliens, Wrath of Khan, and a few other sequels manage to tell good stories. Most can't.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:48 PM (J2vNu)
---
Indeed. I've just realized that the long-running series of books I've been reading is more of a soap opera than the low fantasy it's pretending to be. And this is because the author is struggling to find new ways to challenge the main characters, so he's bringing in side characters to create more drama. It's not horrible, but does change my perspective on the overall series as a whole.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 13, 2023 04:54 PM (YIVH2)

272 But, it has some disturbing ideas that a more or less secret elite possessing a special power have the right to rule the commoners.
Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:42 PM (dh/6v)

Gnosticism made . . . Whatever. That and a love of bureaucracy

Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2023 04:54 PM (xhaym)

273 I would LOVE to see a Harry Potter remake where everyone in Hogwart's is straight but all the Evil Wizards, especially Voldemort, are Trans and Harry and his friends have to kill off all the tranny's in order to save the world.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 13, 2023 04:55 PM (trdmm)

274 235 "Who keeps 7.5 million dimes in a trailer? That's over 30,000 pounds.
Posted by: Thomas Paine"

Dammit
Posted by: Luap Nor

I assume the mint, delivering to some regional distribution site.

Posted by: Gentlemen, tijm (AoS ONT Comment of the Week award winner) at April 13, 2023 04:55 PM (6Eoqc)

275 'No one at senior level' was aware Bud Light had made 'mistake' of partnering with Biden-backed trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney: Anheuser-Busch throws Harvard-educated marketing VP under bus as it loses $6BN

This is patently unbelievable, of course. But Americans are now convinced the NFL loves them again, so it's probably something they'll believe.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at April 13, 2023 04:55 PM (ppBhU)

276 Hairy Potter? Does he make hairy pots? Try to imagine how little I care. Or not.

Posted by: leber at April 13, 2023 04:55 PM (E7KPo)

277 176
'And the butler in Clue.'

And Pennywise the Clown.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at April 13, 2023 04:44 PM (ruYJi)

Major Vladakov in McHale's Navy

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (OgrpQ)

278 So the leaker of the national security papers was a Christian, racist, anti war , white supremacist ? LOL... How perfect
Posted by: It's me donna

Get this! used words like"based" online! What are the chances ?!

Posted by: runner at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (5a2xV)

279
Hmm, Tim Curry also played a Romanian(?) in the Crichton movie "Congo". His accent was...unfortunate.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper

Yeah, but it was hilarious watching him dine out on the scenery.

That flick is a guilty pleasure for me. It's so incredibly bad that it goes beyond good, to classic, and beyond the event horizon back into awful. Ernie Hudson and Delroy Lindo obviously had a lot of fun.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (n+4am)

280 The Spoilers; Last Of The Mohicans; this has been gong on since film began and has nothing to do with creative imagination and everything to do with audiences and their money. This supposition is absolutely mistaken. Sequels and remakes are fueled by mass audiences and their money.
And I'm back in Europe, unimpressed by LOT Airlines. Also, seemed to be a pissload of crying women flying to Ukraine.
Posted by: LenNeal at April 13, 2023 04:47 PM (870Pt)

That made sense in the past for a few reasons. First technology changes. Now you can hear speaking. Now you have vast color. Now you have great sound (except for speaking) and high def. Second, you did not get to see the films repeatedly. If didn't live near a major city, you would probably never see them again. That changed some when TV hit it big. Now you can own the film and watch it whenever. Why watch a remade whatever when a good to great version is available?

Posted by: Crom Laughs at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (DBek0)

281 274 235 "Who keeps 7.5 million dimes in a trailer? That's over 30,000 pounds.
Posted by: Thomas Paine"

So what do you do with them ? "Hey,can I turn in my dimes here. " to a bank ?

Posted by: It's me donna at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (bs+z0)

282 Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2023 04:48 PM (xhaym

Meh. Good for her, I guess.

I want to see the maximum number of possible Leftist scalps collected by the Left.

Maybe if enough of their precious toys like Harry Potter and ladies' sportsball get maliciously broken by their own best palz, they'll learn the lessons the Right is powerless to teach them.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (oINRc)

283 It's going to be about Harry returning to Hogwarts to teach a class of troubled teen wizards. The title will be "Welcome Back Potter".

Posted by: Rob Crawford at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (UJJWg)

284 Read another book (series), Hollywood.

Posted by: Brother Tim sez Max Headroom for President! at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (OUMaO)

285 Muppet's Treasure Island is for me the best of all the Muppet movies (although I also love Muppets in Space) because it's really just the Tim Curry show, surrounded by helpful muppets.
Posted by: Tom Servo at April 13, 2023 04:53 PM (trdmm)

Muppets Christmas Carol is another surprisingly good movie.
(In this case, it's Michael Caine carrying the movie)

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 13, 2023 04:57 PM (N1tpc)

286 You want us to KILL OURSELVES?!

CAUSE WE WILL!!

WE'LL KILL OURSELVES AND THE GENOCIDE WILL BE ON YOUR HANDS!!
Posted by: The Transgender Suicide Squad at April 13, 2023

***
Your terms are acceptable
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius

👍🏻👍🏻

Posted by: rickb223 at April 13, 2023 04:57 PM (EviHh)

287 264 Most sequels force it: There is no more real story to be told. Aliens, Wrath of Khan, and a few other sequels manage to tell good stories. Most can't.

Star Trek was episodic in nature. Competent writers with a budget should be able to churn out one of these every two to three years, if they could just get over retelling the same day story and blowing up the Enterprise every other movie, and if they only realized that Starfleet has a lot of ships and crews out there. But the competent writers thing is a big stumbling block. Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - an election is simply a festival for the majority at April 13, 2023 04:53 PM (ppBhU)

I keep thinking the same thing - make a show called "Federation Space". Then anyone can write whatever show they want with any cast or crew. You could follow a character for a while, then switch to another. If one character becomes super popular, spin it off. You could explore back stories, whatever.

Posted by: Comrade Roboto at April 13, 2023 04:57 PM (+DS2f)

288 Maybe if enough of their precious toys like Harry Potter and ladies' sportsball get maliciously broken by their own best palz, they'll learn the lessons the Right is powerless to teach them.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice

If the Left could learn, they wouldn't be the Left.

Posted by: Brother Tim sez Max Headroom for President! at April 13, 2023 04:57 PM (OUMaO)

289 Anne Perry death: Crime author and real killer behind Heavenly Creatures dies aged 84

Her crime novels were pretty good, although you could tell after a while that something was really wrong with her. The bad guys were ALWAYS authorities, and authorities were ALWAYS bad people abusing poor people, etc.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 13, 2023 04:57 PM (0hOvj)

290 Y'know, one could make the case that Rowling's TERF war with the trannies was a total fabrication on her part, several years in the making, just so she could sell a TV reboot.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2023 04:51 PM (n+4am)

There is a problem with over thinking things, you wind up led or balking against being led. I think the secret is to support the idea, not the leader. That way you can push the "leader" in the direction of the ideal, not the direction his feet of clay take him on his own.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2023 04:57 PM (xhaym)

291 Putting Ant man in the "quantum realm" where we don't really understand what the size of anything is supposed to be screws that up. It's just weird.

That is one of the many many things wrong with it, yes, she hit on one of the biggest flaws with their story.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 13, 2023 04:58 PM (0hOvj)

292 So the leaker of the national security papers was a Christian, racist, anti war , white supremacist ? LOL... How perfect
Posted by: It's me donna

Get this! used words like"based" online! What are the chances ?!
Posted by: runner at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (5a2xV)

Wow, it just gets better and better. I'm still trying to figure out how a 21 year old NG guy has access to all of this intelligence.

Posted by: Crom Laughs at April 13, 2023 04:58 PM (DBek0)

293 So much for The Pentagon Papers.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

It was so weird hearing the DOD rep say that no one should report on the documents, and no one was. Some sites even blurred them out.

The goal clearly is not keeping them from the "enemy," since they have them. The goal is only to keep information from the public.

AND NO REPORTER CALLED THIS OUT.

Posted by: Gentlemen, tijm (AoS ONT Comment of the Week award winner) at April 13, 2023 04:58 PM (6Eoqc)

294 Rusty Beavers? Terrible porn name. So lame.
Posted by: Buck Naked

I found it quite appropriate.

Posted by: N. Pelosi at April 13, 2023 04:58 PM (DgGvY)

295 It's going to be about Harry returning to Hogwarts to teach a class of troubled teen wizards. The title will be "Welcome Back Potter".

Posted by: Rob Crawford at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (UJJWg)

The Sweat Hogwarts

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at April 13, 2023 04:58 PM (OgrpQ)

296 It's going to be about Harry returning to Hogwarts to teach a class of troubled teen wizards. The title will be "Welcome Back Potter".
Posted by: Rob Crawford at April 13, 2023

***
{Applause icon goes here}

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:58 PM (J2vNu)

297 Who keeps 7.5 million dimes in a trailer? That's over 30,000 pounds.
Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 13, 2023 04:46 PM (lTGtQ)

They're for the LePetomane Thruway!

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 04:58 PM (DRSnL)

298 But, it has some disturbing ideas that a more or less secret elite possessing a special power have the right to rule the commoners.
Posted by: whig at April 13, 2023 04:42 PM (dh/6v)

Yup. HP was very class-conscious. The magician class was usually always deemed better than the muggles, even among the protagonists.
Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2023 04:51 PM (BdMk6)

I think what made it work was that it played off the English class consciousness which has been a conspicuous part of their society for a millennia or two.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 13, 2023 04:58 PM (trdmm)

299 It's going to be about Harry returning to Hogwarts to teach a class of troubled teen wizards. The title will be "Welcome Back Potter".
Posted by: Rob Crawford at April 13, 2023

***
{Applause icon goes here}
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Posted by: rickb223 at April 13, 2023 04:59 PM (EviHh)

300 I'm still trying to figure out how a 21 year old NG guy has access to all of this intelligence.
Posted by: Crom Laughs

If you know how to type "password" in Chinese, a lot of government accounts are accessible.

Posted by: a 21 year old NG guy at April 13, 2023 05:00 PM (DgGvY)

301 And still, no one will remake Zardoz.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 05:00 PM (UVZX7)

302 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Posted by: rickb223 at April 13, 2023 04:59 PM (EviHh)
------------
Those look more like toe fungus icons.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 05:00 PM (2hlEI)

303 There are so many brilliant books out there that could be turned into movies, but Hollywood doesn't read, doesn't take chances on originality, and wants to turn everything into a cudgel, so maybe it is for the best. They could ruin some really great works.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 13, 2023 05:01 PM (lTGtQ)

304 I saw Rusty Beavers open for Midnight Oil at 54 Below in '82.

Posted by: ShainS -- The Abolition of The West is from Men Without Chests at April 13, 2023 05:01 PM (aUsa9)

305 How?

" hey , loook at all this stuff I suddenly have access to! "

Posted by: runner at April 13, 2023 05:01 PM (5a2xV)

306 The Sweat Hogwarts
Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death

Up your nose with a magic hose!

Posted by: SFGoth at April 13, 2023 05:01 PM (KAi1n)

307 Hmmm. . . .. Apparently there is a problem with how muggles interact with magic. At best it is a horror movie. At worst it would be . .

Monster Hunter International: Hogwarts

Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2023 05:01 PM (xhaym)

308 301 And still, no one will remake Zardoz.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 05:00 PM (UVZX7)

Timothée Chalamet in a leather thong?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (PiwSw)

309 >>> It looked better when Alfonso Cuaron gave it a nicer layer of age in the third movie. I think the first two are dull affairs that look pretty bland because Chris Columbus is largely a dull and bland filmmaker.

After kid centric successes like Home Alone, Chris Columbus was a safe, smart choice to direct a film starring lots of kids, and get the most possible out of the young actors. Get the franchise safely off the ground. Which he did. But by the third film, Azkaban, Cuaron was a perfect choice for director. Gave it a jolt of energy and style that carried through to the end of the series, and kept the feel and look from growing stale and retreaded. Azkaban is still my fave movie of the whole series.

Posted by: LizLem at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (+mkOR)

310 Yup. HP was very class-conscious. The magician class was usually always deemed better than the muggles, even among the protagonists./i]

Its pretty much required for the English Public School story setting.

What bothered me always is that they only ever learned (or were shown as learning) magical wizardy spell stuff. They were never in economics, or math or art, or literature or science or history classes. nobody learned how to change a tire or even how to drive (even though Harry could do so immediately, even with a stick).

They learned how to cast spells and then took a test compelling them into one job or another like the sorting hat. Your OWLS show you should be a janitor, hop to it or we'll throw you in wizard prison.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (0hOvj)

311 OT: Our super conservative supreme court just allowed a 6 billion student debt settlement to stand which would lead to 200,000 loan cancellations.

Posted by: The Unvaxxed and Unmasked Ranger - America is Dead - National Divorce NOW at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (VTu1l)

312 My bet is any remake is needed to turn it into woke

Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (xhxe8)

313
Oh, and John Ringo owes us an apology for making his Emma Watson character into a zombie-slaughtering badass in his Black Tide Rising series. Because she'd obviously get eaten in the first two weeks because she would refuse to be aided by men and their toxic masculinity.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (n+4am)

314 Now it's true that in written fiction, we've had continuing series of stories about Ellery Queen, Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, Miss Marple, etc. The adventure or mystery is rarely the defining or most important event in the lead's life, so melodrama is avoided.

Exceptions: Ellery Queen's failure to realize he was being manipulated by the real mastermind, so that people Ellery cared about died. Or Nero Wolfe vanishing and leaving Archie Goodwin totally on his own, in order to battle Wolfe's Moriarty, Arnold Zeck. But those were peaks within their respective sagas. There were more stories to be told.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (J2vNu)

315 @260 books and movies are both very well done . Tell a good story and create a very believable world .

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (386ly)

316 If they are actually faithfully to the books, fine.
I wouldn't subscribe to HBO Max because of it.

And, LOL trans activists.
This is one thing you can suck on.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (ufFY8)

317 308 301 And still, no one will remake Zardoz.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 05:00 PM (UVZX7)

Timothée Chalamet in a leather thong?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (PiwSw)

========

You are behind the times. He'd play the Charlotte Rampling role of Consuela.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at April 13, 2023 05:03 PM (UVZX7)

318 There are so many brilliant books out there that could be turned into movies, but Hollywood doesn't read, doesn't take chances on originality, and wants to turn everything into a cudgel, so maybe it is for the best. They could ruin some really great works.
Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 13, 2023

***
Larry Niven's Ringworld, or one of his Known Space stories!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 05:03 PM (J2vNu)

319 "Azkaban is still my fave movie of the whole series."

Yep. The best of the bunch.

Posted by: Tuna at April 13, 2023 05:04 PM (gLRfa)

320 San Francisco
3:00 AM
"The two men apparently knew each other."

OK, that's enough clues for me.

Posted by: Gentlemen, tijm (AoS ONT Comment of the Week award winner) at April 13, 2023 05:04 PM (6Eoqc)

321 If I was WB deciding what franchise to spend the next decade on, I would want to future-proof it by not latching onto a bigot who's been getting more and more vitriolic towards LGBTQ+ people.

They're actually banking on society still not caring about trans folks in 10 years. Sorry Trans Extremists, I guess you're not as beloved in the real world as the progressives who use you pretend you are on Twitter

****
"future proof"

L
O
L

Posted by: Azathoth at April 13, 2023 05:04 PM (wb1YC)

322 I will say this: someone up thread mentioned that he's an adult Harry Potter fan. I don't want it to seem like I'm spiteful toward all Harry Potter fans, especially kids.

HOWEVER, this is the first time, after meeting *hundreds* of adult Harry Potter fans, that one hailed from the Right. Always drooling NPCs, heretofore, and I am spiteful toward those people, to a man.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2023 05:05 PM (oINRc)

323 251 Hmm, Tim Curry also played a Romanian(?) in the Crichton movie "Congo". His accent was...unfortunate.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 04:50 PM (PiwSw)

------------------------

Well, Congo was unfortunate. My wife and I both loved the book, hated the movie.

Posted by: No One Of Consequence at April 13, 2023 05:05 PM (uPgE/)

324 320 San Francisco
3:00 AM
"The two men apparently knew each other."

OK, that's enough clues for me.
Posted by: Gentlemen, tijm (AoS ONT Comment of the Week award winner) at April 13, 2023 05:04 PM (6Eoqc)

And they had been in a car together....

Posted by: It's me donna at April 13, 2023 05:05 PM (bs+z0)

325 OT: Our super conservative supreme court just allowed a 6 billion student debt settlement to stand which would lead to 200,000 loan cancellations.
Posted by: The Unvaxxed and Unmasked Ranger - America is Dead - National Divorce NOW at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (VTu1l)

That's a different one than the "everyone gets $10K" one.

Posted by: Jordan61 at April 13, 2023 05:05 PM (DRSnL)

326 Timothée Chalamet in a leather thong?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (PiwSw)

You're missing like twelve or sixteen "e's" there.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2023 05:06 PM (oINRc)

327 There are so many brilliant books out there that could be turned into movies, but Hollywood doesn't read, doesn't take chances on originality, and wants to turn everything into a cudgel, so maybe it is for the best. They could ruin some really great works.
Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 13, 2023 05:01 PM (lTGtQ)

They read. They fail to understand. How many times do you hear a director talking about a book and then you realize they have no idea what they read?

Posted by: Crom Laughs at April 13, 2023 05:06 PM (DBek0)

328 Sooper Mitch is tweeting from a ventilator

is there anything turtles can't do ??

Posted by: REDACTED at April 13, 2023 05:06 PM (us2H3)

329 Timothée Chalamet in a leather thong?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (PiwSw)

You're missing like twelve or sixteen "e's" there.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2023 05:06 PM (oINRc)
----------
Like this?

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 05:07 PM (2hlEI)

330 You know, I loved Blade Runner 2049; but I knew who was making it, his aesthetic, and rather than treating it as a straight sequel I went to a surround sound big screen bit viewing it as a variation on a theme. ALIENS nailed that: it was barely even a sequel. And honestly, I went to see Alien:Resurrection in the theater knowing it was basically a Bande Dessinee, and really liked it. I recently rewatched it on Odysee dubbed in French, and in that mileau it makes total sense.
Remakes and sequels are often dishonorable, but I confidently state they are an honest effort to give the people what they don't know they want.

Posted by: LenNeal at April 13, 2023 05:07 PM (870Pt)

331 Harry Potter is successful young adult writing in the sense that its also engaging and entertaining to adults. I would hesitate letting kids read it because of the lessons it teaches. No, not the witchcraft etc. The way Harry Potter constantly avoids talking to adults when he should and breaks every rule, but not only gets away with it, but is praised and rewarded.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 13, 2023 05:07 PM (0hOvj)

332 The two men apparently blew each other?

Posted by: Luap Nor at April 13, 2023 05:07 PM (iayUP)

333 311 OT: Our super conservative supreme court just allowed a 6 billion student debt settlement to stand which would lead to 200,000 loan cancellations.
Posted by: The Unvaxxed and Unmasked Ranger - America is Dead - National Divorce NOW at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (VTu1l)

It was a settlement between the parties - not surprised they passed on it. I have said in other areas, we are desperate for the SCOTUS to "fix" everything but they can't - the only way would be to turn themselves into something like Iran's Supreme Council of Elders. Well they're not going to do that, and they shouldn't. Also, this is not Biden's loan forgiveness plan, which I still think will fall.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 13, 2023 05:07 PM (trdmm)

334 The freezing chill settled in my bones, I could see the others in my squad go pale and blue under it. I motioned my people against the wall, protected a little by the stone overhang, keyed the radio and reported, "I have magical activity, it is going cold here." Heavy magic seems to suck the heat out of the world. A garbled reply came over my headset. "Under . . . Set Charge . . .Plan. . . Peat, per plan"
I smiled and motioned my team back and pulled out the demo kit clacker. Gryffindor would be ours by nightfall.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2023 05:08 PM (xhaym)

335 It's going to be about Harry returning to Hogwarts to teach a class of troubled teen wizards. The title will be "Welcome Back Potter".

Posted by: Rob Crawford at April 13, 2023 04:56 PM (UJJWg)

Perhaps not the title, but that idea is a good one. A lot of stories could come from that kind of setup.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2023 05:08 PM (BdMk6)

336 They're actually banking on society still not caring about trans folks in 10 years.

---------

90% will likely have committed suicide -- or murder/suicide-by-cop -- by then as part of the Movement, so a good smart bet.

Posted by: ShainS -- The Abolition of The West is from Men Without Chests at April 13, 2023 05:08 PM (aUsa9)

337 The way Harry Potter constantly avoids talking to adults when he should and breaks every rule, but not only gets away with it, but is praised and rewarded.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 13, 2023 05:07 PM (0hOvj)
----------
The "Adults Are Useless" trope is strong in this one.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 05:09 PM (2hlEI)

338 I have said in other areas, we are desperate for the SCOTUS to "fix" everything but they can't

Basically people want daddy to fix all the problems we face.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 13, 2023 05:09 PM (0hOvj)

339 Timotheeeee Chalamet is like a sexless, bloodless... thing. If it came out that he was some H'wood geek's fantasy-twink CGI creation, I wouldn't even be surprised.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2023 05:09 PM (oINRc)

340 After kid centric successes like Home Alone, Chris Columbus was a safe, smart choice to direct a film starring lots of kids, and get the most possible out of the young actors. Get the franchise safely off the ground. Which he did. But by the third film, Azkaban, Cuaron was a perfect choice for director. Gave it a jolt of energy and style that carried through to the end of the series, and kept the feel and look from growing stale and retreaded. Azkaban is still my fave movie of the whole series.
Posted by: LizLem at April 13, 2023 05:02 PM (+mkOR)

At the time, having read the books with my daughter, we really disliked what got changed in Azkaban. Looking back on it though, I think that's right, that his efforts were more interesting as a movie, even though he didn't as closely trace the books.

That being said, Columbus should be strongly criticized for having Lucius Malfoy actually try to kill Harry in movie 2. That absolutely did NOT happen in the book.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 13, 2023 05:10 PM (+YEF8)

341 #271

The problem can go the other way too. I highly recommend the early books in the "Honor Harrington" series by David Weber. But over time, the scope of the stories grows and ever-larger space battles happen and it becomes harder to care about what's happening.

The classic "Lensman" books by E. E. "Doc" Smith had ever-larger space battles and IMHO he made it work. I'm not saying that escalating scope never works.

But the recent Honor Harrington stories are basically a series of meetings where the participants lay out the necessary plot exposition, interspersed with giant battles.

In the first Honor Harrington novel, the protagonist was unfairly stuck into a really tough situation and saves the day just by being a superb naval officer. In recent ones the protagonist attends meetings with Presidents and Kings and Queens and such, and some battles happen. Just not as exciting.

Anyone who likes military science fiction or naval battles should try reading the first two Honor Harrington books, in order. If you like them, keep reading more books. If at any point you start feeling tired of the series, you should probably go ahead and give it a rest.

Posted by: mr_jack at April 13, 2023 05:10 PM (LNPSJ)

342 Perhaps not the title, but that idea is a good one. A lot of stories could come from that kind of setup.

Having him be part of the Wizard secret police instead of the Professor of Defense against the Dark Arts is one of many Rowling stumbles in the conclusion. There's nobody in that universe more qualified for the job, and the position is constantly open in the books, it was such a blatant layup and she tripped and head butted the ball into the 18th row of spectators.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 13, 2023 05:10 PM (0hOvj)

343 Epstein must be excused from class to fight for social justice.

Signed,
Epstein's Birthing Person

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2023 05:11 PM (oINRc)

344 They're actually banking on society still not caring about trans folks in 10 years.
_______

Well, I'm guessing trans will be answer (c) on a trivia quiz, between (b) Pet Rocks and (d) Mullets.

Posted by: Eeyore at April 13, 2023 05:12 PM (TgBWG)

345 Hermione returning from summer vacation could be a whole episode
Posted by: SNL at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (3vCGB)

Hermione and the Spitroast.

Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at April 13, 2023 05:12 PM (ufFY8)

346 Alvin Bragg
@ManhattanDA

Today we announced the sentencing of a man who "raped, filmed, and then stalked a young New Yorker for more than a week."

****

"Everybody praise me for doing the bare f****** minimum at my job!"

Posted by: Azathoth at April 13, 2023 05:12 PM (wb1YC)

347 Test: Trans Genocide

Posted by: ShainS -- The Abolition of The West is from Men Without Chests at April 13, 2023 05:13 PM (aUsa9)

348 Late to the thread but wasn't there supposed to be a reboot of the Lightning Thief franchise? My kids really loved those books and it would be nice to see movies that reflected them better.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at April 13, 2023 05:13 PM (N3zMI)

349 nood Bud

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 05:13 PM (Vwz3I)

350 NOOD

Posted by: ShainS -- The Abolition of The West is from Men Without Chests at April 13, 2023 05:13 PM (aUsa9)

351 I like to imagine actors in mashups of the roles they've done. Like Jason Isaacs as Lucius Malfoy saying, "Potter, I'll have you cleaning latrines with your tongue until you can't tell shit from French fries."

Of Hugo Weaving, in full Elrond rigout, with dark glasses, saying, "Mister Baggins, welcome back, we mmmissed you."

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 13, 2023 05:14 PM (2hlEI)

352 248 >>> And in another unrelated bit of trivia, I point out that Dr. Frank N. Furter was played by a young Tim Curry -- who was the doctor aboard the Russian submarine in Hunt for Red October.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 13, 2023 04:36 PM (J2vNu)
And the butler in Clue.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes

Another bit of trivia... Tim Curry was in The Worst Witch, an 80s movie about a clumsy young witch attending Miss Cackle's academy for witches, who ends up saving the day. Sound familiar?

I'm still surprised the creator of that story never sued JK Rowling, back when everyone was trying to sue her claiming she ripped off their work.

The camp is amazing, and Tim Curry sings: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PUhuPn8_d0Q
Posted by: LizLem at April 13, 2023 04:49 PM (+mkOR)

I'm surprised nobody mentioned Tim Curry as Pennywise. He owned that role.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at April 13, 2023 05:16 PM (/iWhV)

353 That's a shitload of dimes!
Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at April 13, 2023 04:39 PM (Vwz3I)

"Go back to town and get a shitload of dimes!"

Posted by: Taggart at April 13, 2023 05:17 PM (ufFY8)

354 >>>165 Fox News: Philadelphia police investigating after trailer containing $750K in dimes broken into at Walmart parking lot.

Shoot, a feller could have a good weekend in Dallas with that shitload of dimes!

Posted by: The Compleat Slim Pickens at April 13, 2023 05:17 PM (wzAuc)

355 Re: CineMax/Rowling vs. the trans-tards

"Can't they both lose?"

Posted by: Henry Kissinger at April 13, 2023 05:18 PM (ZSK0i)

356 News Flash: Alissa Heiniescheisse has been appointed the new VP of Marketing for HBO Max. First up for production: "Penelope Potter and the Hog-Warts Legacy"

Posted by: Mountain Trolls R Us at April 13, 2023 05:21 PM (VsUo2)

357 Hermione returning from summer vacation could be a whole episode
Posted by: SNL at April 13, 2023 04:26 PM (3vCGB)

Hermione and the Spitroast.
Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at April 13, 2023 05:12 PM (ufFY

Hermione Does Hogwarts.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2023 05:22 PM (BdMk6)

358 It will feature an entirely new cast from the films.

Why? The casting for the films was great. Seems like it would be better, maybe even cheaper, if they'd just CGI/Deep Fake all the old cast members.

The Hobbit movies. They are truly drawn-out and padded

The fan-made Tolkien cut is better than the trilogy. Fails to feature Doctor Who racing through the forest on a sled pulled by ginormous bunnies. That was where I stopped watching the films.

Did I get willowed huh did I?

Posted by: mindful webworker - the Tom Bombadil of AoS at April 13, 2023 05:23 PM (2MadX)

359 Maple Films fanedit of The Hobbit cuts 295 minutes and can be dl'd if you own a copy of The Hobbit and pinky swear you are just compiling different views:
http://www.maple-films.com/

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at April 13, 2023 05:34 PM (nC+QA)

360 "Society still won't care about trans people in 10 years"?
I'm not good at the maths, but with a 41% loss rate, will there still be trans people in 10 years?

Posted by: Stacy0311 at April 13, 2023 05:53 PM (VfLe7)

361 Step 1 - remake Harry potter, but super trans and LGBTQ friendly.

Step 2 - declare this is the one true Harry Potter. All other versions are no longer cannon.

Step 3 - declare that Harry Potter just doesn't seem relevant to the youths of today, go figure.

step 4 - start looking for the next IP to destroy.

Posted by: Inspector kemp at April 13, 2023 07:09 PM (+DS2f)

362 So if there isn't a huge uptick in suicides when the new Harry Potter show premiers, that means the trans-doomsday-prophets LIED to us? Again?

Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at April 14, 2023 09:54 AM (hwQUl)

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HBO Max Announces They'll Be Remaking All the Harry Potter Movies as a Strictly-Faithful-to-the-Books TV Series That Could Go On for Ten Years; Trans Extremists Shriek

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HBO Max Announces They'll Be Remaking All the Harry Potter Movies as a Strictly-Faithful-to-the-Books TV Series That Could Go On for Ten Years;
Trans Extremists Shriek