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Saturday Evening Movie Thread - 9/24/2022 [TheJamesMadison]
Fritz Lang
Fritz Lang started his career in film as a screenwriter at Ufa, the main German production company, before quickly moving into directing. Along with his then wife, Thea van Harbou, he made a series of increasingly expensive films as he met with continued success, capped with the one movie he's truly known for: Metropolis, one of the most influential films ever made. The son of a Catholic father and a Jewish mother, he watched as Nazism steadily overtook his home, including his wife who joined the Nazi Party, until his final film in Germany for more than twenty years, The Testament of Dr. Mabuse was banned by the new Nazi regime in 1933.
However, both Adolph Hitler and Joseph Goebbels were huge admirers of Metropolis, and they didn't want to throw someone as talented as Lang in prison. Goebbels invited Lang to his office where he offered the filmmaker complete control of the German film industry, including the assertion that he could "fix" Lang's mother's status as a Jew. Lang left Germany that night (at least according to how he liked to tell the story). After a brief stint in France, he landed in Hollywood, and Hollywood was happy to welcome another celebrated filmmaker fleeing German oppression. However, it quickly became apparent that Hollywood simply had no idea what to do with him.
Fritz Lang is known for Metropolis, but the film is actually something of an aberration in his filmography. I think people in Hollywood thought they were going to get the guy who made Metropolis, which is a fine assumption. However, what they got was the guy who made Die Nibelungen: Kriemhild's Revenge.
The Destiny Machine
From Destiny in 1921 to The Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse, Fritz Lang's films are largely about what film scholars have called the Destiny Machine. The way I interpret that is a larger force (often technological like in Metropolis but not always) grinding down on the strength of the individual. A supposed realistic view of that would typically lead to the individual losing, and most of the time, Lang's protagonists did. That could manifest in small ways, like a man losing everything and roaming the streets like a lost ghost, or it could manifest in large ways, like with an all-consuming fire.
It seems odd to say that a filmmaker's most recognizable film isn't actually indicative of who he was as a storyteller, but it happens (I asserted that about Martin Scorsese a while back). The thing about Lang is that I haven't seen a director more consumed by the idea of the apocalypse since Andrei Tarkovsky. You can see this in things as varied as M, Scarlet Street, Secret Beyond the Door, and even The Big Heat. For a specific example, Die Nibelungen: Kriemhild's Revenge is the second half of a two-part film about the Germanic folklore hero Siegfried who is murdered at the end of the first part. Kriemhild is his wife, and she sets out to get vengeance upon the man, a close advisor to her brother, the king, no matter the cost. It's a tale of obsession and fire that ends with pretty much everyone dead. That's in stark contrast to Metropolis where a rebellion in a futuristic city by the underclasses gets solved with a handshake and the declaration that "The mediator between head and hands must be the heart!"
Metropolis asserts that man can come together to overcome the Destiny Machine. Almost everything else Lang made makes it clear that man is alone and it's a losing battle. It was Metropolis combined with M, his expert procedural about the search for a child killer in Berlin, that Hollywood mostly knew him for when they brough him to Los Angeles to make a movie with Spencer Tracy called Fury. They didn't realize what they had bought when they signed his contract.
Pessimism
Fury is a compromised work, mostly in that the ending ends happily rather than what it seems to be building up to: the main character burning everything down like in Kriemhild's Revenge. By every indication, it was an ending forced on Lang by the studio (along with the casting of Tracy since Lang wanted to hire a black actor to play the role of an innocent man being lynched), and it showed that from the start, Hollywood didn't know what to do with this German immigrant. After two more films that touched on themes he was obviously interested in that didn't manage to light the box office on fire (both films that the female star of Fury, Sylvia Sidney, brought him onto), he started getting assignments from his studio bosses that don't seem to make sense in retrospect.
The Return of Frank James is a sequel to Jesse James, a film made by Henry King. Western Union is effectively a John Ford film. Man Hunt is effectively a cross between an Alfred Hitchcock thriller and a plea to get America involved in the new war in Europe (released five months before the attack on Pearl Harbor). From 1936 to 1944, happy endings were almost everything Lang was delivering, almost like Hollywood was trying to force him into a genre director along the lines of Hitchcock. Instead of a filmmaker who could work across genres with a distinctive visual style who delivered crowd-pleasing entertainments (like Metropolis), Lang was more interested in using those same tools to tell stories to spoke to him. His life being colored with his half-Jewishness in 1920s and 30s Germany (which Billy Wilder said was only second to Vienna as the most antisemitic place he knew), Lang just simply didn't have that kind of outlook. In his view, evil won more often than it lost.
That was hard to accomplish under the Hays Code. Implemented in 1934, it was designed to streamline the whole censorship process in America which had, up to that point, been regional in nature, where Hollywood would have to cut movies to fit the requirements set out by places like Chicago or Mississippi but not others like New York, depending on the film and subject matter. One of the rules that the Hays Office set out was that antagonists needed to be punished and protagonists needed to win at the end. That didn't coalesce with how Lang saw the world, but he did find a workaround. It was called film noir.
Film Noir
Heavily inspired visually by German expressionists like Murnau, Pabst, and Lang himself, film noir is, as Dictionary.com describes it, "a style or genre of cinematographic film marked by a mood of pessimism, fatalism, and menace. The term was originally applied (by a group of French critics) to American thriller or detective films made in the period 1944-54 and to the work of directors such as Orson Welles, Fritz Lang, and Billy Wilder."
That emphasis on pessimism and fatalism worked against creators at the time because of those Hays Code mandates. The solution was to essentially rob the films of protagonists, such as in Billy Wilder's Double Indemnity where both Walter Neff and Phyllis Dietrichson end up committing the murder of Phyllis's husband. Lang first toyed with this in the same year as Double Indemnity with The Woman in the Window, the story of a man getting caught up in a murder committed by a femme fatale, but it all ends up a dream. He would immerse the audience in the full potential of the genre with his next film Scarlet Street, an adaptation of the French novel La Chienne about a middle-aged man given the opportunity for the pretty girl and an escape from his hateful wife as well as a chance at artistic success when the pretty girl uses him at the behest of her pimp boyfriend. The main character ends up in a hell of his own creation in the end, and you can see how the choice of material fed both Lang's thematic obsessions and the needs of the Hays Office. The man turned bad, and he was punished for it.
The problem for Lang was that he was still a studio director. When he wasn't quite able to twist other material to fit his vision as well, he seemed to know less of what to do with them. The spy genre seemed like a particular place where he couldn't make things fit, his Cloak and Dagger matching his silent Spies as curious misses in the genre. He also dipped his toe more than once into gothic romances, mostly Secret Beyond the Door which is an obvious attempt to mimic the success of Hitchcock's Rebecca to much less effect, though House by the River functions in a similar space and does it better.
The height of his American output was The Big Heat in 1953. Based on a serial printed in The Saturday Evening Post by William McGivern, it tells the story of the intersection of corruption in the halls of power in an unnamed American city with the criminal underground (this version of the destiny machine). Anchored by a pair of great performances by Glenn Ford and Gloria Grahame and helped by a strong supporting cast, most notably Lee Marvin as the hood who throws a pot of boiling coffee in Grahame's face, it's some of the best noir ever put to film, helped in no small part by the attention given to Gloria Grahame's character, Debby, making her more than a femme fatale and turning her into her own tragic figure. In the end, a blow is made against the corrupt system at the sacrifice of a good person's life. Will it fix the city? Probably not, but a blow was struck nonetheless.
And...Lang's career quickly sputtered out in America. He had four more movies in Hollywood (Marlon Brando decried the fall of Lang's career by calling his next film, Human Desire, trash, a curious assertion since it was based on an Emile Zola novel, La Bete Humaine), the last two film very obvious and cheap B-movies in terms of their budgets and billing, and he said goodbye to the American filmmaking system to return to Germany in the late 50s.
Welcome Home
Lang restarted his German film career the way he probably should have started his American career. His American career began with Fury, a serious film about a social issue told in searing style. His first film back in Germany was a two-part story set in India (The Tiger of Eschnapur and The Indian Tomb) with bright colors and a sense of grand adventure, a callback to such silent films as Woman in the Moon and based on a script that he and Thea van Harbou had written for the 1920 silent version directed by Joe May. It's unchallenging to the extreme, and Lang would later dismiss them as sugary confections. That they are, and they're some kinds of delightful.
He only had one more film in him, and it was the final of three movies he made about the German literary villain Dr. Mabuse, The Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse. It's a return to the kinds of stories he obviously wanted to tell. It embraces the destiny machine in the use of a Nazi-era hotel built for diplomats filled with surveillance equipment that the eponymous doctor uses to gain leverage over the rich clientele. Mabuse extends as a metaphor for the German psyche as he had since the beginning of Lang's treatment of him, with the first, Dr. Mabuse, being about Germany during the Weimar Republic, and the second, The Testament of Dr. Mabuse, being about Germany during the rise of Nazism, thinly veiled as the rise of the "Empire of Crime". Like Kurosawa after him, Lang was nearly blind by the end of production and stopped making movies, though he lived until 1976, 16 years after the release of his final film.
Legacy
Fritz Lang's legacy will always be first and foremost Metropolis followed by his help in creating the film noir genre. I just find it interesting that the two are diametrically opposed to each other. Metropolis is optimistic while film noir is naturally not. Lang's heart was in the pessimistic, though. Probably colored by the inside view of Germany falling to Nazism, his best work reflected a certain apocalyptic view of the world, where everything was going to burn. That prevented him from working naturally in Hollywood during the 30s, 40s, and 50s where rosier endings were all but mandated. He mimicked Alfred Hitchcock more than once, and I think Hollywood was hoping for another master of suspense from their European imports.
It wasn't to be, though. Lang's predilections just didn't gel with the needs of mass entertainment. He had successes, for sure. He wasn't like John Carpenter, meeting almost nothing but financial failure, but Lang was never able to make Hollywood his playground. His voice got muted in Hollywood, to a degree, but he kept on in a professional manner, putting out roughly a film a year for the entire two decades he was there.
Still, M is the blueprint for how to make a serial killer movie. He helped create film noir. Metropolis continues to be referenced explicitly to this day. Christopher Nolan modeled his version of the Joker on Dr. Mabuse, specifically his ideology as presented in The Testament of Dr. Mabuse. He made one of the first spy movies. He's had an incredible effect on film, especially popular film, despite the fact that most of his career felt like he was operating under someone else's thumb.
Movies of Today
Opening in Theaters:
Don't Worry Darling
Movies I Saw This Fortnight:
The Big Heat (Rating 4/4) Full Review "It's Fritz Lang's best American movie, the best combination of the kind of movie he wanted to make and the kind of movie Hollywood would let him make." [Archive.org]
House by the River (Rating 3/4) Full Review "It's Lang using his camera to tell a racy story (as Mrs. Ambrose describes the tastes of the masses that Stephen should be appealing to in his novels) to entertain and nothing more. In that, he succeeds." [Roku]
Rancho Notorious (Rating 3/4) Full Review "It's standard and does it well, but it could have been more." [Plex]
Human Desire (Rating 3.5/4) Full Review "She's the cornerstone on which the film is built, and I think she's a very strong cornerstone. The rest of the film shines because of her." [Youtube]
Moonfleet (Rating 2/4) Full Review "I really don't see what Cahiers du Cinema saw in this. Its second half is better than its first, but it culminates in a mostly lackluster overall experience that doesn't excite all that much, which is not a great thing to say about a boy's adventure movie." [Library]
The Indian Tomb (Rating 3/4) Full Review "It's not even Lang's best adventure movie (that would be Woman in the Moon), but The Indian Temple, both as a standalone feature and second half to a two-part film, is an entertaining romp through a boys adventure novel version of India as envisioned in the 1910s and made in the late 1950s." [FreeVee]
The Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse (Rating 3/4) Full Review "As Fritz Lang's final film, it feels very appropriate as a reflection of his work as a whole." [[Youtube]
Dracula (Rating 3/4) Full Review "Dracula is a fun start to the classic Universal horror monsters. It's not deep or really scary, but it has a surprise focus on Renfield that works and a wonderful visual sense." [Personal Collection]
Contact
Email any suggestions or questions to thejamesmadison.aos at symbol gmail dot com.
I've also archived all the old posts here, by request. I'll add new posts a week after they originally post at the HQ.
The next post I am responsible for will be a guest post by our very own Mary Poppin's Practically Perfect Piercing about the F.W. Murnau silent horror film Nosferatu, a seminal work of both the silent age and the horror genre. Expect it on October 15.
Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: Skip at September 24, 2022 07:31 PM (xhxe8)
Posted by: Ciampino at September 24, 2022 07:31 PM (qfLjt)
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 07:33 PM (qH6FZ)
Posted by: April--dash my lace wigs! at September 24, 2022 07:34 PM (OX9vb)
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 24, 2022 07:40 PM (up/3i)
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 24, 2022 07:41 PM (kWfhJ)
Anyway not sure seen any but Metropolis but read the entire content. I like Film Noir
Posted by: Skip at September 24, 2022 07:41 PM (xhxe8)
Posted by: Skip at September 24, 2022 07:41 PM (xhxe
========
You must watch The Big Heat.
https://tinyurl.com/2p9fee86
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 07:42 PM (LvTSG)
Wayne's World
A *very* dated movie...But notable in that my cat Allie curled up with me on my futon. First time she's done that and it was adorable.
Next up in the queue is Phantasm IV: Oblivion, which I'll probably watch next weekend to kick off October...
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 24, 2022 07:42 PM (K5n5d)
I thought Carpenter did alright money wise?
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 07:43 PM (qH6FZ)
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 24, 2022 07:45 PM (kWfhJ)
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 07:43 PM (qH6FZ)
=========
He had one movie that could be called a real financial success: Halloween. Second best was Escape from LA, which was a flop. Then it was Starman, which made money considering its small budget, but that was it.
Lang worked better with producers, it seems, which helped stave off his need to find independent financing for a couple of decades. Giant ass to his actors, though.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 07:45 PM (LvTSG)
https://tinyurl.com/ydbpkek6
Posted by: Aetius451AD at September 24, 2022 07:46 PM (dNqv+)
Posted by: runner at September 24, 2022 07:48 PM (V13WU)
Next up in the queue is Phantasm IV: Oblivion, which I'll probably watch next weekend to kick off October...
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 24, 2022 07:42 PM (K5n5d)
As I mentioned on some of the week's threads, I gave in and watched Morbius for my son and for the horde, so you don't have to.
Decent start, and inexplicably one of the worst plots and editing I've ever seen for the last hour of the movie. It gets a D-, tying my Thor grade (since the beginning was more watchable while the end was much worse...and the after credits - what on Earth?).
2022 is a bad year for supers movies. Thor 4 and Morbius are D-, Superpets is a C...and Dr Strange 2 I avoided so far. Only Batman (and Minions 2) were worthwhile for the genre.
Posted by: Nova local at September 24, 2022 07:48 PM (exHjb)
Posted by: runner at September 24, 2022 07:48 PM (V13WU)
Posted by: runner at September 24, 2022 07:49 PM (V13WU)
Posted by: runner at September 24, 2022 07:48 PM (V13WU)
=========
It's probably The Big Heat. I'm 95% sure.
The other 5% says Human Desire.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 07:51 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: Ben Had at September 24, 2022 07:52 PM (GG0QO)
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at September 24, 2022 07:42 PM (K5n5d)
Can I admit that I've never head of Phantasm IV, let alone Phantasm I, II, and III.
It's also like admitting when my kids did Gothic fiction a few years ago, we watched the classic Frankenstein and Dracula (aka the one listed above), and while the Frankenstein movie is clear in my head and compelling, I can't remember practically anything from Dracula...while I remember liking Frankenstein more, it seems my brain literally just deemed Dracula lesser and purged the whole thing from memory...
Posted by: Nova local at September 24, 2022 07:53 PM (exHjb)
Posted by: runner at September 24, 2022 07:53 PM (V13WU)
Posted by: JT at September 24, 2022 07:54 PM (T4tVD)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 24, 2022 07:54 PM (63Dwl)
Posted by: JT at September 24, 2022 07:55 PM (T4tVD)
Posted by: Eromero at September 24, 2022 07:55 PM (0OP+5)
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 24, 2022 07:55 PM (up/3i)
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 07:58 PM (Lzpvj)
I think silent film has its place, I do appreciate slapstick more without inane laugh tracks.
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 07:59 PM (Lzpvj)
Tarantino found a thread and pulled it into a perfectly cast hit.
Posted by: Ben Had at September 24, 2022 07:59 PM (GG0QO)
Posted by: Skip at September 24, 2022 08:00 PM (xhxe8)
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:01 PM (Lzpvj)
>>I think silent film has its place, I do appreciate slapstick more without inane laugh tracks.
Indeed, my big hangup with most silent films is the unfortunately necessary overacting that's required to convey the action and intent of the story.
It's just not quite my tempo.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 24, 2022 08:03 PM (up/3i)
Posted by: Infidel at September 24, 2022 08:04 PM (6/K6X)
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:04 PM (Lzpvj)
Posted by: Rusty Trawler at September 24, 2022 08:05 PM (1gif2)
Posted by: Skip at September 24, 2022 08:00 PM (xhxe
-----------
I had an Angus Scrimm coffee cup.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at September 24, 2022 08:05 PM (kWfhJ)
Eh it was what separated the era greats form the also rans.
Chaplin understood precisely how much acting was needed post his early stuff, and Keaton got a lot done with just his eyes.
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:06 PM (Lzpvj)
The Hays code definitely required decent writing, the further we get from standards the more shit disguised as swirl milkshakes we get story wise.
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:07 PM (Lzpvj)
I've only seen M all the way through of all the Lang films listed, and its a freaking masterpiece.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:07 PM (Ivdso)
It's just not quite my tempo.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 24, 2022 08:03 PM (up/3i)
===========
Lang had his directors go in both extremes depending on the movie. Something like Metropolis is a big, expensive melodrama, so it is complete with the clutching of chests.
Die Nibelungen: Siegfried is a fantasy adventure and does it as well. Die Nibelungen: Kriemheld's Revenge, though the sequel, has a central performance by Margarete Schön that's all just below the surface. The exterior is thinly cool, but there's rage and obsession in her eyes.
I've been watching some Josef von Sternberg movies recently, and his silent films are that kind as well. Naturalistic performances through and through. It really depends on the particular movie. They didn't invent naturalistic acting with sound.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:07 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 08:08 PM (qH6FZ)
coincidence of coincidences we watched pale rider two nights ago...
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:08 PM (Lzpvj)
Posted by: Skip at September 24, 2022 08:09 PM (xhxe8)
Posted by: Rusty Trawler at September 24, 2022 08:05 PM (1gif2)
=========
What's funny is that the people who thrived challenging conventions under the Hays Code saw their careers collapse after the fall of the Hays Code. When it was outre to be risque but not vulgar, you had an audience that could appreciate it. When the vulgar became the norm, the risque became old fashioned.
This is what happened to Billy Wilder.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:09 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: humphreyrobot at September 24, 2022 08:09 PM (MMBW8)
Posted by: Joe Biteum at September 24, 2022 08:09 PM (sn5EN)
Posted by: Chatterbox Mouse at September 24, 2022 08:10 PM (C1rbv)
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 08:08 PM (qH6FZ)
=========
"Bring me Lang's movies."
"All of them?"
"EVERY ONE!!!!"
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:10 PM (LvTSG)
I've only seen M all the way through of all the Lang films listed, and its a freaking masterpiece.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:07 PM (Ivdso)
I admit, my thoughts may have been the let down. After Frankenstein was fantastic, you think the famous Dracula had to be better...and it isn't.
And I did watch the non-censored version of Frankenstein - it was useful to teach the kids that movie censoring/scene cuts aren't just a modern day thing...
Posted by: Nova local at September 24, 2022 08:10 PM (exHjb)
Posted by: Nova local at September 24, 2022 08:10 PM (exHjb)
==========
The Hays Code censoring pre-Code movies is the worst thing on Earth. Modern Hollywood censoring pre-woke movies is a purely motivated act of altruism.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:11 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: Regular joe at September 24, 2022 08:12 PM (nnp+f)
I am an illustrator and writer, and I'll say this: artists work better under restrictions and limits than totally free. You an take that way too far, but you get better stuff from an artistic type when you tell us some stuff we cannot do than just giving them carte blanche.
The thing is, those limitations have to be on stuff that artists use as cheap tricks to get emotional impact: nudity, swearing, violence, etc. Tell an artistic type that they cannot use shortcuts or be gross, and you force them to come up with a better, more clever or meaningful way to make the same point.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:12 PM (Ivdso)
as a confirmed history nut allow me to reiterate....leave the past and shit alone.
//The preceding was a public service announcement from Sven J Olafson.
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:13 PM (Lzpvj)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 24, 2022 08:13 PM (63Dwl)
DVD, on line streaming? Other?
Posted by: Skip at September 24, 2022 08:14 PM (xhxe8)
Probably part of that is the topic.
Vamires are really played, you have to do something super fresh or shocking to make vampires interesting now. Back then they were shocking and new.
Frankenstein, however, is a really fresh take on a zombie movie, even now, and it tests a lot of moral limits and concepts that are still not clearly easy to work out. You end up feeling sympathetic toward the monster, who is yet a monster.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:14 PM (Ivdso)
>>Metropolis is a big, expensive melodrama, so it is complete with the clutching of chests.
Metropolis is like watching sheer lunacy captured on celluloid.
I bet a re-make and re-imagining by Terry Gillium or Guillermo Del Toro would be neat.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 24, 2022 08:14 PM (up/3i)
Posted by: Ben Had at September 24, 2022 08:15 PM (GG0QO)
DVD, on line streaming? Other?
Posted by: Skip at September 24, 2022 08:14 PM (xhxe
===========
Anyway I can.
My mother bought me the Kino set of Lang's silent films, so that got me through Woman in the Moon. I'm pretty sure you can just search for each entry online and find them at places like Youtube or DailyMotion.
I also use JustWatch.com as a resource to find more legal ways these things are available. I own a few random other entries (M, Woman in the Window, Fury), but it's mostly just using Internet sources and the occasional DVD at my library.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:16 PM (LvTSG)
The problem with Vampires in the modern era is the "angst" bullshit.
Vampires do not feel angst they are apex predators who pick on the daylight apex predators for fun and a mental exercise like old ladies and sudoku.
When you are young you aspire to vampirism sexy, fast and elegant, in middle age you settle for being a werewolf feral, muscular and predatory, and in your twilight you accept you are a zombie getting by on willpower fear and rage.
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:16 PM (Lzpvj)
What fool tried that??
Joseph Losey, not familiar with him. I cannot imagine eve trying that. its like me trying to re-write Conan.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:17 PM (Ivdso)
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 24, 2022 08:14 PM (up/3i)
=========
Gilliam did his version with Brazil.
That's the problem with having a hugely influential movie. The question from an artist's point of view (beyond why do I want to remake something instead of make my own?) is, "I already did that with x."
Dark City, Blade Runner. It's like asking Paul Schrader to remake The Searchers. It's called Hardcore.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:17 PM (LvTSG)
"Gargoyles" is on Svengoolie. It's no Lang, but it does have sideboob.
Posted by: fd at September 24, 2022 08:18 PM (sn5EN)
Vamires are really played, you have to do something super fresh or shocking to make vampires interesting now. Back then they were shocking and new.
Frankenstein, however, is a really fresh take on a zombie movie, even now, and it tests a lot of moral limits and concepts that are still not clearly easy to work out. You end up feeling sympathetic toward the monster, who is yet a monster.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:14 PM (Ivdso)
That's probably all true...
For Lit class, since we're in Russian Lit year, we'll have the 1949 version of Inspector General coming up on this year's watch list. Unfortunately, it seems to take a lot of liberties from the play (which having just read it again - damn is Gogol a modern playwright trapped in a 19th century body)...but hopefully, it will still be worth the watch...
Posted by: Nova local at September 24, 2022 08:18 PM (exHjb)
Posted by: Skip at September 24, 2022 08:18 PM (xhxe8)
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 08:18 PM (qH6FZ)
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:20 PM (Ivdso)
It's Ernst Lubitsch's movies. If I do it, it'll be sometime next year, but I just wanted to make sure finding at least most of his non-lost stuff is possible.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:20 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: Skip at September 24, 2022 08:20 PM (xhxe8)
Posted by: Infidel at September 24, 2022 08:21 PM (6/K6X)
Posted by: Nova local at September 24, 2022 08:21 PM (exHjb)
Posted by: Infidel at September 24, 2022 08:22 PM (6/K6X)
Posted by: Ciampino at September 24, 2022 08:22 PM (qfLjt)
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:23 PM (Ivdso)
Chaplin was the only one who bridged well.
I think as a comic keaton was better, and as a human being Lloyd and Keaton were both giants compared to Chaplin.
Keaton like Houdini was damn near a superhuman.
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:23 PM (Lzpvj)
Forgot that Bob Newhart was in it.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at September 24, 2022 08:23 PM (x8Wzq)
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 24, 2022 08:23 PM (r46W7)
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 24, 2022 08:23 PM (r46W7)
==========
Lang was really suspicious of technology. He saw it as largely dehumanizing.
His last film (made in Germany), The Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse, is about the surveillance state, essentially.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:24 PM (LvTSG)
The modern remake was not horrid.
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:25 PM (Lzpvj)
Sounds like a man that was tormented by his own decisions.
Posted by: Chatterbox Mouse at September 24, 2022 08:26 PM (C1rbv)
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 24, 2022 08:26 PM (r46W7)
The modern remake was not horrid.
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:25 PM (Lzpvj)
Eh. Big Alan Arkin fan. Told my wife to make sure it was the Arkin version.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at September 24, 2022 08:26 PM (x8Wzq)
TMC is not the same since Robert Osborn died.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor
I don't remember him ever whining about the "blacklist."
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 24, 2022 08:28 PM (63Dwl)
His turn as Clouseau was so painful it is a warcrime to force people to watch.
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:28 PM (Lzpvj)
Frankenstein, however, is a really fresh take on a zombie movie, even now, and it tests a lot of moral limits and concepts that are still not clearly easy to work out. You end up feeling sympathetic toward the monster, who is yet a monster.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:14 PM (Ivdso)
----
In 1974 Cambridge MA I got talked into accompanying a friend to see Andy Warhol's Frankenstein. Terrible even with lots of nudity.
(It was a double feature with another pron movie called White Trash, even worse.)
Anyone else seen it?
Posted by: Ciampino at September 24, 2022 08:28 PM (qfLjt)
>>Gilliam did his version with Brazil.
Yeah, but Brazil is tame and subdued compared to Metropolis and I've seen Metropolis already, there is nothing on earth that would make sit through it again.
I bet the snake dance scene in From Dusk To Dawn was inspired by the dance scene in Metropolis.
Hmm, on second thought, I might have to re-evaluate my opinion of Metropolis.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 24, 2022 08:29 PM (up/3i)
I don't want to be the one to tell her.
Funnily enough, my brother's wife is an RN at a VA hospital, and that's her nickname too. Guess there's a lot of mean nurse out there.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at September 24, 2022 08:29 PM (x8Wzq)
He's not entirely wrong. Technology is an amplifier, for good or evil. You can kill one man with a sword, dozens with a gun, and millions with a bomb. Its the same act of evil but amplified by the tools at hand.
Pushed too far or abused, technology definitely does begin to strip away the humanity of someone. Just look at what social media has done to human interaction and society.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:30 PM (Ivdso)
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 24, 2022 08:31 PM (r46W7)
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 08:31 PM (qH6FZ)
Posted by: runner at September 24, 2022 08:34 PM (V13WU)
Anyone tell Nurse Ratched that she's dead?
I don't want to be the one to tell her.
She's writing her otterbiography.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 24, 2022 08:34 PM (63Dwl)
The Highwaymen was a great movie, but it was only on Netflix so I'm not sure it counts. I have not darkened a theater door for like 5 years.
Anyone else seen it?
I have only heard of it, not seen it.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:35 PM (Ivdso)
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:30 PM (Ivdso)
Back in the day, a bully knocked you over, or dumped your books, or challenged you to a fight after school. now it's public shaming on the interwebs. There has always been that animalistic element to human beings. Doesn't take much for humans to go totally ape-shit and beat people with rocks. Social media makes it all the more prominent.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at September 24, 2022 08:35 PM (x8Wzq)
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor
People think I'm weird since I don't do Faceplant or any social media.
Posted by: Infidel at September 24, 2022 08:37 PM (6/K6X)
The problem is a generation has grown up with the risk free cupidity only social media allows....
you ran your mouth too much in my childhood you would eventually pay a price...the same fuckers today get feted.
Posted by: sven at September 24, 2022 08:38 PM (Lzpvj)
Posted by: Texican ette at September 24, 2022 08:38 PM (JCecY)
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:35 PM (Ivdso)
It counts, I would guess most movie viewing is done through streaming now. Last movie I saw in the theater was "Dunkirk", I fell asleep.
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 08:39 PM (qH6FZ)
Posted by: Infidel at September 24, 2022 08:37 PM (6/K6X)
Pretty much everyone at my office is on Facetwat and boogerhook and whatnot. They think I'm weird for not doing that.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at September 24, 2022 08:39 PM (x8Wzq)
"I don't make movies," Jack said once. "I make classics."
Posted by: Regular joe at September 24, 2022 08:41 PM (nnp+f)
People think I'm weird since I don't do Faceplant or any social media.
Posted by: Infidel at September 24, 2022 08:37 PM (6/K6X)
----
I don't either. I have a FB account from my employment days as it was a sort of requirement, but I never used it. Used it once recently to track an old schoolmate from Africa. I don't use Twatter except to READ others' posts such as Ace links to the Cafe.
Posted by: Ciampino at September 24, 2022 08:41 PM (qfLjt)
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:41 PM (Ivdso)
Posted by: Infidel at September 24, 2022 08:37 PM (6/K6X)
Social media? You're soaking in it.
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 08:42 PM (qH6FZ)
Posted by: Infidel at September 24, 2022 08:43 PM (6/K6X)
I memorized Lizzie's bewbs.
Anyhoo, pretty fun movies.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at September 24, 2022 08:44 PM (x8Wzq)
So you're saying that Clint Eastwood gives people cancer?
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:45 PM (Ivdso)
So you're saying that Clint Eastwood gives people cancer?
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at September 24, 2022 08:45 PM (Ivdso)
==========
15:13 to Paris turned me into a newt!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:45 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: Infidel at September 24, 2022 08:45 PM (6/K6X)
Posted by: Just Some Guy at September 24, 2022 08:46 PM (a/4+U)
Posted by: Just Some Guy at September 24, 2022 08:46 PM (a/4+U)
=========
Not his best work. It's twisty and turny, especially in the end, and it plays an effective trick on the audience by thinking it's going to be a serious film about the death penalty while subverting those expectations. But the finale just twists and turns too much too quickly so that nothing really lands emotionally or feels like it matters.
It was also Lang's last American film, a B picture with no budget and something of a dud of a main actor (I'm not exactly a Dana Andrews fan).
Human Desire was his last American film really worthwhile, and it's really underappreciated.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:48 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at September 24, 2022 08:49 PM (m0zqP)
>>Anyhoo, pretty fun movies.
And the amazing thing is that PnP PBS version is nearly 30 years old and that people like your wife and my wife watch and rewatch it is because nothing of it's quality has been made in 30 years.
Don't get me started on the Kiera Knightly abomination of PnP and that was made almost 20 years ago.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 24, 2022 08:49 PM (up/3i)
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at September 24, 2022 08:49 PM (m0zqP)
==========
Nope. Once he got to America, he was working with a rotating cast and crew. I think across his last 8 American movies he didn't work with the same cinematographer twice. His recurring relationships never really lasted for more than two movies or so. There are stories of Lang's cruelty towards actors, including him screaming at and denigrating the 10 year old star of Moonfleet, though there are also people like Sylvia Sidney who had only nice things to say about him.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:50 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 24, 2022 08:52 PM (r46W7)
Hell, I think the world ended in 2012. the Mayans had it right.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at September 24, 2022 08:54 PM (x8Wzq)
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 24, 2022 08:52 PM (r46W7)
==========
I love characters who have to face the reality that everything they know will end, and they'll be left alone. I like it best when it's less literally the end of the world and a bit more metaphorical, but the ethos that underlies a lot of Lang's work could really be brought down to two words:
Everything burns.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 08:54 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at September 24, 2022 08:55 PM (x8Wzq)
Posted by: Lost In Spaceto at September 24, 2022 08:55 PM (/qNGG)
Posted by: runner at September 24, 2022 08:57 PM (V13WU)
Posted by: Count de Monet at September 24, 2022 08:58 PM (4I/2K)
Hell, I think the world ended in 2012. the Mayans had it right.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at September 24, 2022 08:54 PM (x8Wzq)
Yeah, right? I hope it doesn't end before I finish this Wild Turkey 101.
Posted by: Eromero at September 24, 2022 08:58 PM (0OP+5)
I like this one actually.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at September 24, 2022 08:59 PM (KFhLj)
Posted by: Jamaica NYC at September 24, 2022 08:59 PM (b+v9B)
Posted by: Lost In Spaceto at September 24, 2022 08:55 PM (/qNGG)
==========
You're welcome!
I enjoyed the journey, and it makes me happy that other people can get something out of it as well.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:00 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 24, 2022 09:01 PM (r46W7)
>>I like this one actually.
She acts with her teeth, her teeth have chewed and stolen more scenery than William Shatner.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 24, 2022 09:02 PM (up/3i)
Posted by: Jamaica NYC at September 24, 2022 08:59 PM (b+v9B)
========
Mmm...Carol Reed and Graham Green.
Lang actually worked on an adaptation of one of Green's novels, Ministry of Fear. Lang agreed to make the film based on his love of the book, but the script he got handed cut out some of the meat of the book that he had appreciated so much. He tried to back out, but he had signed the contract. He had to do it.
He actually apologized to Green for the movie, something that Green really appreciated because he also found the film lacking. Green had been an English film critic during Lang's late German and early American film period, and he had been a huge proponent of the director.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:02 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 24, 2022 09:01 PM (r46W7)
==========
I like hearing this sort of stuff.
Yeah, Tarkovsky is not, "grab a bowl of popcorn and have some fun" cinema. He's "cinema is an art, you peons," type stuff. He's not for everyone at all. If you can get into it, though, there's a whole lot to dig into.
The funniest thing about him, though, is that, before he died, he had wonderful praise for...James Cameron's The Terminator.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:04 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: SFGoth at September 24, 2022 09:05 PM (KAi1n)
Posted by: Count de Monet at September 24, 2022 08:58 PM (4I/2K)
That got me curious if Warner still made full length Looney Tunes anymore, besides those godawful "Space Jam" movies. Looks like they're going to do a Wiley Coyote live action/animated combo thing with John Cena. Good grief.
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 09:07 PM (qH6FZ)
Posted by: Eromero at September 24, 2022 09:07 PM (0OP+5)
Posted by: Eromero at September 24, 2022 09:07 PM (0OP+5)
=========
That's really nice of you to say. Well, at least to me.
My only real hope with this is that I convince some people to discover cinema they haven't heard of before, and that they enjoy it.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:08 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: Dr. Mabusette at September 24, 2022 09:11 PM (OpQZg)
Posted by: SFGoth at September 24, 2022 09:12 PM (KAi1n)
Posted by: Dr. Mabusette at September 24, 2022 09:15 PM (OpQZg)
Posted by: Dr. Mabusette at September 24, 2022 09:15 PM (OpQZg)
===========
I love the mixture of prescient and absolutely ludicrous in terms of how Woman in the Moon saw space flight.
On the one hand, it's got the countdown clock, multistage rockets, and even the construction of the rocket in a tall warehouse. On the other, everyone lays down on cots without close access to the controls during launch, the rocket launches from under water, and there's air on the far side of the moon.
It's delightfully quaint.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:17 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 09:18 PM (qH6FZ)
Posted by: Eromero at September 24, 2022 09:19 PM (0OP+5)
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 09:18 PM (qH6FZ)
=========
It won the audience award at the Toronto film festival.
I have a feeling its going to be a crowd pleaser.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:19 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 24, 2022 09:19 PM (63Dwl)
a .38 snubnose revolver. Yeah like that's gonna take out a 6 foot tall eyeball from outer space.
Who knows? If a Red Ryder can take out Ralphie's eyeball...
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 24, 2022 09:21 PM (63Dwl)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 24, 2022 09:21 PM (63Dwl)
=========
I swore that was the icicle from the roof...
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:22 PM (LvTSG)
I've been waiting for you to write about Fritz Lang and you did not disappoint. I've always appreciated Metropolis more than Lang so thanks for broadening my horizons
Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 24, 2022 09:22 PM (EZebt)
I've been waiting for you to write about Fritz Lang and you did not disappoint. I've always appreciated Metropolis more than Lang so thanks for broadening my horizons
Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 24, 2022 09:22 PM (EZebt)
========
For an out of left field recommendation, I'd say try Western Union.
It's the best John Ford movie that John Ford never got around to John Fording.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:24 PM (LvTSG)
I have a feeling its going to be a crowd pleaser.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:19 PM (LvTSG)
Meh, film festivals are one thing, general movie watching people are something else. You're into the nuts and bolts of movies so you'll probably watch it.
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 09:24 PM (qH6FZ)
Posted by: lowandslow at September 24, 2022 09:24 PM (qH6FZ)
=========
Probably. Eventually.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:25 PM (LvTSG)
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at September 24, 2022 09:30 PM (KFhLj)
This was another good director choice. Not all of Fritz Lang's work was good, but there were indeed hidden gems I didn't know about mixed in with the heady highs I did know.
Also M is fucking brilliant.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards (Logan Tiberius 2012-2021) at September 24, 2022 09:30 PM (xcxpd)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards (Logan Tiberius 2012-2021) at September 24, 2022 09:30 PM (xcxpd)
==========
M is required viewing for...everyone.
It is one of the the great movies.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:31 PM (LvTSG)
https://is.gd/fpevVK
Posted by: Ciampino at September 24, 2022 09:33 PM (qfLjt)
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at September 24, 2022 09:34 PM (KFhLj)
Posted by: docweasel at September 24, 2022 09:36 PM (UVM+M)
Posted by: Darles Chickens at September 24, 2022 09:36 PM (DXJAD)
Posted by: Darles Chickens at September 24, 2022 09:36 PM (DXJAD)
=========
I'm actually kind of ashamed to admit that I watched an English dub of The Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse.
I couldn't easily find the actual German soundtrack, so I settled with the English dub.
The chief inspector in it is played by Goldfinger himself, Gert Fröbe.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:37 PM (LvTSG)
For an out of left field recommendation, I'd say try Western Union.
You'd do it for Randolph Scott!
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 24, 2022 09:39 PM (63Dwl)
For an out of left field recommendation, I'd say try Western Union.
You'd do it for Randolph Scott!
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 24, 2022 09:39 PM (63Dwl)
=========
RANDOLPH SCOTT!!!!!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:40 PM (LvTSG)
It is one of the the great movies.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:31 PM (LvTSG)
Agreed
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards (Logan Tiberius 2012-2021) at September 24, 2022 09:41 PM (xcxpd)
Happened to catch Beyond a Reasonable Doubt again when it popped up on one of the streamers several years ago, and agree with you on it. But when I was in high school, the twists and turns as it wound down to the finish struck this kid as kinda nifty.
Will make it a point to catch Human Desire some time soon.
Posted by: Just Some Guy at September 24, 2022 09:41 PM (a/4+U)
Posted by: Lost In Space at September 24, 2022 09:41 PM (nOB+O)
Posted by: Infidel at September 24, 2022 09:42 PM (6/K6X)
Posted by: Eromero at September 24, 2022 09:46 PM (0OP+5)
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at September 24, 2022 09:47 PM (FVME7)
Nekkid Maureen Sullivan (or her body double) was very educational.
Didn't see anything like that on the tube again for some years, until the PBS station ran "I, Claudius" uncensored.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 24, 2022 09:52 PM (bW8dp)
Posted by: Eromero at September 24, 2022 09:46 PM (0OP+5)
----
What is? (note no H in my nic)
--
Graffiti seen on a fence:
THINGS I HATE
1.Vandalism
2.Irony
3.Lists
Posted by: Ciampino at September 24, 2022 09:53 PM (qfLjt)
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at September 24, 2022 09:54 PM (VwHCD)
Hmm.... Wikipedia says that all the prints with nudity were recalled. Apparently not ALL of them, because the one I saw definitely had nudity.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 24, 2022 09:57 PM (bW8dp)
Posted by: Dr. Bone at September 24, 2022 09:58 PM (w2Z7l)
Posted by: Dr. Bone at September 24, 2022 09:58 PM (w2Z7l)
========
Lang did work with Stanwyck once, in the very straight drama Clash by Night.
Marilyn Monroe is in it, too.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, searching for the Invisible Man with Dracula and Frankenstein's monster at September 24, 2022 09:59 PM (LvTSG)
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Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana! ~ at September 24, 2022 10:01 PM (hOUT3)
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Posted by: Tom Servo at September 24, 2022 10:02 PM (r46W7)
OT: Wild rumors of an ongoing coup against Xi in China. Supposedly under house arrest, flights and trains in and out of Peking cancelled...
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Real Clear Politics
Gallup
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement
Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band
AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection
AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings)
George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad
Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up
Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry
NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind
All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
John Edwards Campaign Excuses
John Kerry Pick-Up Lines
Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
Torments in Dog-Hell
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)