Food Thread: Your Biggest Cooking Screw-Ups: Come On, Don't Be Shy!

I have left expensive veal shanks (Osso Bucco) braising for...um...a lot longer than they needed. Yup! Forgot to take them out of the oven before I went to work, and 12 hours later came home to some sad little desiccated shanks that had just the tiniest bit of dry but barely edible meat on them. But damn it! I ate what I could salvage!

And exploding eggplants are always fun! Pro Tip: poke some holes in them before you roast them.

Anybody ever misread your own recipe and add 50 grams of Cayenne instead of five grams? But I fixed by correcting the weights of all the other ingredients and ended up with enough dry rub to make about 8,000 racks of ribs. Which is not the worst thing in the world!

Anyway, fess up. Tell the class your worst screw-ups.

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This is by no means a novel concept. Domino's Pizza has done this for years, and innumerable take-out joints do pretty much the same thing.

But it's got a cool and hip name, so it must be better!
Ghost Kitchens: The Future Restaurant Model?

There are many forms of ghost kitchens, but the barebone structure is that it is a meal preparation facility -- and that's it. All a ghost kitchen does is receive the order and cook the food. If the kitchen does not have its own delivery service, it relies on third party delivery service apps like UberEats or Grubhub to transport the food to the customer. Ghost kitchens are not designed to be seen or to dine in, and multiple restaurants can rent the same ghost kitchen, hence saving rent space money and additional labor costs.

Obviously the shift to take-out and delivery because of the Covid-19 lockdowns drove the increase in this sort of operation, but I wonder how demand will survive the current recession and the significant inflation that is baked in the cake for the next few years? My guess is that the first thing to get tossed out the window is take-out and delivery meals. Why spend three or four times what it would cost to make it yourself, when rent just got jacked up 25% and gas costs $7/gallon?
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Lurker "RS" was recently in Charleston with his lovely wife, and enjoyed what looks like a great meal at a restaurant called "NICO," which seems to take oysters very, very seriously. As "RS" says:

The oysters are curated. You learn the name of your server and the name of your "shucker." The attached photo is dozen number 2 of the evening, and were simply divine.

I followed those up with Burgundy scallops and a cauliflower gratin, both of which were roasted in a wood-fired oven. (Second photo, cauliflower in the background playing second fiddle to the scallops which were the Platonic ideal of well-prepared shellfish.)

Oh, yeah. There was also a big-ass chocolate cake.

Curated oysters sounds like lunacy, but tasty, tasty lunacy! And a good scallop is a wonder. Oh...that cake looks like it has a big-ass cookie underneath it!

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Hmm...I like goat cheese, I love bacon, honey is always a good thing, and thyme is my third favorite besides salt and pepper...so what's not to like about this dip?

Whipped goat cheese dip with bacon, thyme and honey

And I find the writer immensely appealing. She's an Aussie who moved to Texas!

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I'm not sure that this sort of stuff requires a recipe. Sure, the first time you make it you probably should check a few recipes for time and temperature, but after that? Eh...it is infinitely customizable, and difficult to ruin.

Asparagus, Mushroom, and Goat Cheese Breakfast Casserole

One thing that I would do differently. She recommends using some sort of frou-frou non-stick spray on the baking dish. Why? Just make some bacon, use the drippings to grease the dish, and put the bacon in the casserole!

See how easy cooking is!

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Frozen Mayonnaise

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I'm on special assignment, gathering news of great food from the far reaches of the earth. So don't be too offended if I don't respond to your questions or comments or abuse. But I will take lots of pictures and eat enough for everyone!
******
Romaine lettuce that is green, instead of the white crap they sell that has never seen a photon, pork rib roasts from the front end of the pig where all the good and fatty meat lives, carrots that don't taste like stalky chalk, spare bottles of Van Winkle Special Reserve 12 Year Old Bourbon, an herb garden that actually produces herbs (but no basil!), well-marbled NY strip steaks and elk backstrap to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: I'm watching you...all of you! And I am watching you perverts who shake Manhattans and keeping a list for the Burning Times.

Posted by: CBD at 04:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Disastrous

Posted by: Skip at June 19, 2022 04:02 PM (2JoB8)

2 Food Screw-ups: The cumin jar in my cupboard looks very much like the cinnamon jar in my cupboard. Cumin does not go well with oatmeal.

Posted by: Buck Throckmorton at June 19, 2022 04:05 PM (d9Cw3)

3 I sure hope that picture is from your kitchen, CBD.

Posted by: bluebell at June 19, 2022 04:05 PM (aeePL)

4 I once made bread that included whole wheat kernels and no yeast. Probably proto-dwarf bread. In my defense, I was four. BUT! I got a non-family member to EAT it! And he survived, too! (I must have been hella cute because that "bread" would break teeth...)

Posted by: Sabrina Chase at June 19, 2022 04:05 PM (t0O2k)

5 Recipe said 1/2 cup of coffee.

Didn't specify solid or liquid.

Oops!

Posted by: pawn at June 19, 2022 04:06 PM (wsHtO)

6 I eat all my cooking mistakes. Doctors bury theirs.

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 19, 2022 04:06 PM (4I/2K)

7 Also it appears I am to be stalked by oysters and cauliflower for the rest of my natural life. I am doomed.

Posted by: bluebell at June 19, 2022 04:07 PM (aeePL)

8 Too many beers into making chocolate chip cookies. You know, a cup of salt looks a lot like a cup of sugar.

Posted by: Diogenes at June 19, 2022 04:07 PM (anj39)

9 Just make some bacon, use the drippings to grease the dish, and put the bacon in the casserole!

CBD Johnson is right. Those of you not saving your bacon grease and finding many ways to use it are missing out.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at June 19, 2022 04:07 PM (llON8)

10 Not as a adult, but when a kid made homemade chocolate cake with coffee GROUNDS not coffee.
Instructions said coffee, didn't say liquid coffee.
As adult making ravioli ( wife contends something else but she is wrong) and it was fire or else when lid stuck to skillet so tossed in sink and a stainless steel lid imploded. 30 years later still use dented in lid.

Posted by: Skip at June 19, 2022 04:08 PM (2JoB8)

11 Biggest screw up? Shrimp Etouffee. Tried to double batch with homemade recipe and Louisiana Etouffee cajun mix. Too much heat. Was trying to reduce heat with taters and sugar. I think the family left for carryout.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 04:08 PM (ju2Fy)

12 Most of my cooking screwups have involved overcooking, or should I say ultra-overcooking.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at June 19, 2022 04:09 PM (llON8)

13 Too many beers into making chocolate chip cookies. You know, a cup of salt looks a lot like a cup of sugar.
Posted by: Diogenes at June 19, 2022 04:07 PM (anj39)
-----------

The shameful waste of chocolate chips is making me cry.

Happy Father's Day!

Posted by: bluebell at June 19, 2022 04:09 PM (aeePL)

14 Anybody ever misread your own recipe and add 50 grams of Cayenne instead of five grams?

Rarely measure in cooking. "As the spirit moves me".

Measure to the nth degree in baking.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 04:09 PM (c8pZY)

15 That's a photo shop. Nothing is burned into the oven.

Posted by: Mister Scott (formerly GWS) at June 19, 2022 04:10 PM (bVYXr)

16 I once made chili for the big playoff game involving the Redskins and the Cowboys back in the '80s. Decided to add some kick to it with sliced fresh jalapenos and extra chili seasonings.

The pain on the way down the gullet in no way prepared one for the agony of the next day. The fellas never let me make chili again.

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 19, 2022 04:11 PM (4I/2K)

17 Worst screw up? Instant mashed potatoes. Put the ingredients in backwards. Needed a chisel to get the mess out.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 04:11 PM (c8pZY)

18 Never did do what frozen pizza instructions say putting right on rack, I have stone and they go on it

Posted by: Skip at June 19, 2022 04:11 PM (2JoB8)

19 The shameful waste of chocolate chips is making me cry.

Happy Father's Day!

Posted by: bluebell at June 19, 2022 04:09 PM (aeePL)

I really felt stupid.
And thank you! Its a good day indeed.

Posted by: Diogenes at June 19, 2022 04:11 PM (anj39)

20 Biggest screw up was 1st homemade "white cake supreme" from a Betty Crocker cookbook for parents anniversary with my sis (she was 12, I was 11). I said it wasn't done, she said it was. And somehow our frosting was liquid, not firm. So, the cake became a literal volcano as its top layer broke apart and the icing let it drip down...

That said, I've never made that cake since, b/c it didn't taste good or like anything, even with the cooking mishaps...

And this is also why I cook everything from scratch, but I rarely do so for baking...it's hard to save a disastrous bake, but you can save a disastrous cook pretty much all the time...

Posted by: Nova local at June 19, 2022 04:12 PM (exHjb)

21 @Bluebell

Your comment about oysters and cauliflower occasioned the email to CBD. [Insert "Smiley Emoticon Thingy" here.

Posted by: RS at June 19, 2022 04:13 PM (1XDfN)

22 CBD Johnson is right. Those of you not saving your bacon grease and finding many ways to use it are missing out.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket

Biscuits.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 04:13 PM (c8pZY)

23 Just in case anyone was wondering how much oil is in mayonnaise.

Posted by: dartist at June 19, 2022 04:13 PM (+ya+t)

24 South Africa. Had recently purchased our first microwave oven. My late wife had left to visit Mum and Dad in Illinois. I'm home with the two girls. No Internet those days. I decided to bake a potato. I put it in for 1 minute. Not cooked. So I figured 10 minutes. Was called to the kitchen because smoke was coming out of the oven. All that was left was a small, very shriveled black lump, smoking black lump which did burst into flames. So, yes I have actually burnt a potato.

Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 04:14 PM (qfLjt)

25 Never did do what frozen pizza instructions say putting right on rack, I have stone and they go on it
Posted by: Skip

Always put frozen on the rack. (Cast iron pizza pan is packed away)

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 04:15 PM (c8pZY)

26 Yous guys and your fancy taste. I did a patty melt in the smoker yesterday. I smoked the hamburger. I cooked bacon in the smoker and then I assembled the sandwich and heated it in the smoker.
That's as fancy as I get.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 04:16 PM (VdGjU)

27 being that it's Father's Day, I have been remembering my dear departed father, who loved the idea of grilling but was extremely lousy at it. (I learned to cook for myself because I really like good cooking, and I got sick of being exposed to other people's Bad cooking)

his escapades on the grill always seemed to stem from the same flaw - he would start some good looking meat on the grill some Sunday Afternoon, and all of sudden the Cowboys or someone would start some huge comeback drive, and he'd be cheering and all excited until someone would say "hey someone on the next block is gonna call the fire department about that column of smoke coming off the grill!!!"

so then he'd tell his sons "carbon is good for you! Hey that was some game, right???"

Posted by: Tom Servo at June 19, 2022 04:17 PM (q3gwH)

28 Those scallops are so beautiful!

Posted by: m at June 19, 2022 04:18 PM (aURVT)

29 Biggest mishap I was involved was at my sister place when she first went to college.

She set a glass microwaveable bowl on the stovetop to boil.

It exploded.

My guardian angel was watching as all the glass flew past me as I was running to to stove to try to turn it off.

Posted by: Nearsighted Cyclopes at June 19, 2022 04:18 PM (4TZI4)

30 Thanksgiving 2018. just my late wife and me. i had read a recipe for cooking turkey in the slow cooker. seemed like a good idea at the time since we wouldn't have a very big bird. little did i know that the slow cooker was malfunctioning. instead of the thermostat turning the heat source off when it reached temperature, it just kept heating and heating to a much higher temperature than was needed. of course the recipe said not to open the lid for x amount of time, so by the time i figured it out, we were hosed.

Posted by: DenverGregg at June 19, 2022 04:18 PM (dMxAX)

31 I had bread proofing in the oven once. Forgot it was there and proceeded to pre-heat the oven with a final temp of 465. I smelled something burning. It was the ladies plastic shower cap I use to cover the top of the bowel. Melted into my dough. Thankfully I caught it before it reached 451.

Posted by: Javems at June 19, 2022 04:18 PM (AmoqO)

32 So, in FWP, we have Covid here - spouse brought it back from vacay and gave it to me last...so dinner tonight is 50% off 2 family meals from Boston Market - rotisserie chicken (me), meatloaf, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, caesar salad, and corn bread for everyone else with blueberries from home and last night's leftover french bread for me.

To beat Covid, we have relied on natural anti-virals (mostly food based and elderberry), the sun, and very light exercise. Spouse was through in 4ish days (although he had the worst symptoms and brought it home to me - we know Covid b/c he was bad enough to test), so he has the dinner pick up. I'm on day 3, but it's pretty much a little nasal congestion/running at this point - I did have to take 1 day off walking and take it 1/2 mile shorter today.

Not so bad...and we'll be ready for an amusement park weekend next weekend...

Posted by: Nova local at June 19, 2022 04:18 PM (exHjb)

33 The oysters are curated. You learn the name of your server and the name of your "shucker."

But not the names of the individual oysters? How barbaric.

Posted by: mikeski, adjusting monocle at June 19, 2022 04:19 PM (P1f+c)

34 >>> 14
==
Rarely measure in cooking. "As the spirit moves me".

Measure to the nth degree in baking.
Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 04:09 PM (c8pZY)

So much this. Do you have a scale to weigh flour?

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at June 19, 2022 04:19 PM (llON8)

35 22 CBD Johnson is right. Those of you not saving your bacon grease and finding many ways to use it are missing out.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket

Biscuits.
Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 04:13 PM (c8pZY)

Potato soup and collard greens fat starter...

Posted by: Nova local at June 19, 2022 04:20 PM (exHjb)

36 A mistake I've made more than once in cooking involves Salt - and now I make myself repeat the mantra, you can always fix too little salt, you can never fix Too Much.

Posted by: Tom Servo at June 19, 2022 04:20 PM (q3gwH)

37 Downstairs left comment my mom had to take dad to ER while at church, so called mom and they are home so going to make supper and go see them. She said it was sinus congestion which coincidence what I have had all week I think.

Posted by: Skip at June 19, 2022 04:20 PM (2JoB8)

38 Those of you not saving your bacon grease and finding many ways to use it are missing out.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket
----------------------

Scrambled eggs. Green beans. Sour lettuce. etc.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 04:22 PM (ju2Fy)

39 29 Biggest mishap I was involved was at my sister place when she first went to college.

She set a glass microwaveable bowl on the stovetop to boil.

It exploded.

My guardian angel was watching as all the glass flew past me as I was running to to stove to try to turn it off.
Posted by: Nearsighted Cyclopes at June 19, 2022 04:18 PM (4TZI4)

That's not a cooking disaster - that's an equipment disaster.

I did the same in my townhome on Thanksgiving. Thank God I only ruined the gravy and the green beans and no one was in the kitchen (it blew within a minute on a burner I had turned off but forgot I had on - I had walked out to check something). I have never bought or used Pyrex since, b/c that's what the green beans were in.

Posted by: Nova local at June 19, 2022 04:22 PM (exHjb)

40 16 I once made chili for the big playoff game involving the Redskins and the Cowboys back in the '80s. Decided to add some kick to it with sliced fresh jalapenos and extra chili seasonings.

The pain on the way down the gullet in no way prepared one for the agony of the next day. The fellas never let me make chili again.

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 19, 2022 04:11 PM (4I/2K)
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The definition of a good curry is when the next day you have to keep the toilet paper in the fridge. Did you?

Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 04:22 PM (qfLjt)

41 Was making Banana Bread and instead of a half a cup of oil, I put in two cups.

And another time, was making Applesauce cake and instead of measuring out the applesauce I just poured both jars in the mix. Probably overshot the recipe by two cups.

Posted by: That Guy What Always Says Yeah Buddy TM at June 19, 2022 04:22 PM (R5lpX)

42 Got a pork butt on the smoker. Been chugging away since about 12:30.

Soon....

But now, Bourbon. Cigar later. Happy Father's Day.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at June 19, 2022 04:23 PM (BFigT)

43 Worst cooking screw-up: I mistakenly put a glass pan of homemade biscuits onto a hot burner while I was trying to frantically stir cream gravy and flip chicken fried steak. The explosion rivaled EOD's knocking out ordnance on the Kuwaiti beach below my apartment.

Thank goodness husband ignored that and chose to have faith in my cooking, as this was the first time I cooked for him while we were dating.

Posted by: Moki at June 19, 2022 04:23 PM (JrN/x)

44 I tried making pickled veg for the first time (cukes, cauliflower, carrots, snap peas, jalapeños) using my sous vide.

I sous vided that shit.

Need to tweak my brine recipe, up the water to vinegar ratio and less sugar, maybe a touch more salt.

I figured first batch would be a disappointment. I was happy with the heat level, using the combo of quartered jalapeños and crushed red pepper. Will also add more garlic. 2.5 hrs at 140 left the veg (except for cukes) plenty crunchy, which is what I wanted.

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at June 19, 2022 04:23 PM (sJHOI)

45 36 A mistake I've made more than once in cooking involves Salt - and now I make myself repeat the mantra, you can always fix too little salt, you can never fix Too Much.
Posted by: Tom Servo at June 19, 2022 04:20 PM (q3gwH)

Well, you can, it's just harder - acid and dilution both work, depending what you're making...

Posted by: Nova local at June 19, 2022 04:24 PM (exHjb)

46 Skip, glad your dad's out ER and back home.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 04:24 PM (ju2Fy)

47 The definition of a good curry is when the next day you have to keep the toilet paper in the fridge. Did you?
Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 04:22 PM (qfLjt)

No, butt that would have helped a lot.

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 19, 2022 04:24 PM (4I/2K)

48 36 A mistake I've made more than once in cooking involves Salt - and now I make myself repeat the mantra, you can always fix too little salt, you can never fix Too Much.
Posted by: Tom Servo at June 19, 2022 04:20

The cooking shoes I watch surprise with the amount of salt they apply.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 04:24 PM (VdGjU)

49 On my last two attempts, I undercooked my vanilla pudding for banana pudding. Not my most glorious fuck up, but particularly annoying and embarrassing.

Last night I did it right. Publius' daddy's favorite dessert for Father's Day dinner (pork tenderloin on the grill with squash and zucchini and potato salad.

We have a beautiful respite from the heat wave today. I think it begins again tomorrow. *sigh*

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at June 19, 2022 04:25 PM (Mzdiz)

50 "The oysters are curated. You learn the name of your server and the name of your "shucker." "

What the fuck? Sorry, man, but most of us don't eat that shit, and we also don't give a fuck about it.

Damn, I thought this was a smart Military Blog.... this Elite Foodie shit is just a bridge too far.

Posted by: SSBN 656(G) at June 19, 2022 04:25 PM (5AVMW)

51 Worst cooking screw-up: I mistakenly put a glass pan of homemade biscuits onto a hot burner while I was trying to frantically stir cream gravy and flip chicken fried steak. The explosion rivaled EOD's knocking out ordnance on the Kuwaiti beach below my apartment.

Thank goodness husband ignored that and chose to have faith in my cooking, as this was the first time I cooked for him while we were dating.
Posted by: Moki at June 19, 2022 04:23 PM (JrN/x)

Dinner AND a show with 'splosions! What's not to like?

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 19, 2022 04:25 PM (4I/2K)

52 I made reservatoons at Nobu for 8 pm and didn't get there until 9:15 pm

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 04:28 PM (us2H3)

53 33 The oysters are curated. You learn the name of your server and the name of your "shucker."

But not the names of the individual oysters? How barbaric.
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Yeah and I bet they weren't sexed either. You need an oyster sexer. You say it's not important? It is to the oysters!

Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 04:28 PM (qfLjt)

54 So don't be too offended if I don't respond to your questions or comments or abuse.

Abuse of CBD? Inconceivable! Heaven forfend!

Posted by: Duncanthrax at June 19, 2022 04:28 PM (a3Q+t)

55 >>> 50 "The oysters are curated. You learn the name of your server and the name of your "shucker." "

What the fuck? Sorry, man, but most of us don't eat that shit, and we also don't give a fuck about it.

Damn, I thought this was a smart Military Blog.... this Elite Foodie shit is just a bridge too far.
Posted by: SSBN 656(G) at June 19, 2022 04:25 PM (5AVMW)

You're supposed to say something about one percenters, and/or tell the commenter 'you were lucky'.

Posted by: AoS Style Guide at June 19, 2022 04:29 PM (llON8)

56 Stuffed a brined turkey once. Stuffing was inedible.

Posted by: Javems at June 19, 2022 04:29 PM (AmoqO)

57 So don't be too offended if I don't respond to your questions or comments or abuse.

Abuse of CBD? Inconceivable! Heaven forfend!
Posted by: Duncanthrax at June 19, 2022 04

That's inconceivable.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 04:30 PM (VdGjU)

58 I made a soup one time, IIRC, chicken and rice, and cooked it too long so it was like paste or gruel. I tossed it out.

Posted by: Comrade flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at June 19, 2022 04:30 PM (nByzo)

59 some lotion applied to the squeakhole can help a little with the day after movements.

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at June 19, 2022 04:30 PM (sJHOI)

60 made a pitcher of gin and tonics with Polar diet tonic water

almost offed myself over it

wasting gin, any gin, is punishable by death

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 04:30 PM (us2H3)

61 I was newly married to hubs #1 and decided to make batter deep fried chicken. After it had turned a nice golden brown I took it out and served it with potatoes and canned peas. It was raw inside. We ate a lot of hamburger helper back then. I was a lousy cook lol!

Posted by: jewells45 at June 19, 2022 04:30 PM (nxdel)

62 Yeah and I bet they weren't sexed either. You need an oyster sexer. You say it's not important? It is to the oysters!
Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 04:28 PM

Dude. It's not their sex per se, it's the sex they identify as..Even more importantly, what are their pronouns?

#BeBetter

Posted by: Duncanthrax at June 19, 2022 04:30 PM (a3Q+t)

63 CBD on a Secret Mission!!

Posted by: Weasel at June 19, 2022 04:30 PM (0IeYL)

64 The definition of a good curry is when the next day you have to keep the toilet paper in the fridge.
Posted by: Ciampino

When all the snot liquefies and runs out of your nose, the curry is great.

When all the wax liquefies and runs out of your ears, the curry is perfect.

Posted by: mikeski at June 19, 2022 04:31 PM (P1f+c)

65 Mrs D bought a beautiful "oven proof" meat thermometer.

It wasn't.

Posted by: Diogenes at June 19, 2022 04:31 PM (anj39)

66 Read the ghost kitchens article. I will never eat in them b/c I always need someone to verify someone actually gave a crap about my allergies, so the GrubHub guy wouldn't be it (and why I always pick up my own takeout or have my family do it). But I don't think people want McD level service for Outback Steakhouse level prices. They'll want McD level prices for that service.

But maybe I'll be wrong if people just want to look at their phones and grunt at meal times...

Posted by: Nova local at June 19, 2022 04:31 PM (exHjb)

67 Put baking soda instead of baking powder in bisquits one time. Inedible is being kind.

Posted by: cfo mom at June 19, 2022 04:31 PM (Q8bDL)

68 I assume the oysters were vaxxed?

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at June 19, 2022 04:31 PM (sJHOI)

69 *Separate 2 eggs* Done.

Posted by: Curly Howard at June 19, 2022 04:33 PM (4I/2K)

70 some lotion applied to the squeakhole can help a little with the day after movements.
Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at June 19, 2022 04:30
--------------------

Zinc Oxide. Especially if you still have some of that shitty Covid TP in the house.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 04:33 PM (ju2Fy)

71 Zinc Oxide. Especially if you still have some of that shitty Covid TP in the house.
Posted by: olddog in mo

Does the zinc help with the covid?

Posted by: mikeski at June 19, 2022 04:34 PM (P1f+c)

72 when we were having some friends over for dinner, my ex spilled some dish soap into the stroganoff

she didn't think anyone would notice

and thus, EX

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 04:34 PM (us2H3)

73 My worst cooking mistake happened when I was very young. I was attempting to make pancakes for my parents as a surprise. Well, I managed it. I didn't realize pancakes require flour in the recipe. My folks got flattened scrambled eggs topped with plenty of butter and syrup. I might have been six when this occurred.

I made up for that by learning to make the best pancakes, more like a hearty crepe, on the planet. At least for my taste. It helped to discover the wonders of the Betty Crocker cookbook that was in every kitchen of the 1950s, vanilla extract, nutmeg, and cinnamon.

Posted by: JTB at June 19, 2022 04:34 PM (7EjX1)

74 I have exploded eggs while roasting them for the Seder plate, maybe about 5 times.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at June 19, 2022 04:35 PM (EZebt)

75 CBD on a Secret Mission!!
Posted by: Weasel at June 19, 2022 04:30 PM

Does this mean an expository Thread on the Cuisine of the WeaselAcres Organic, Free-Range, and non-GMO Tree Ranch is possible?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at June 19, 2022 04:36 PM (a3Q+t)

76 64 The definition of a good curry is when the next day you have to keep the toilet paper in the fridge.
Posted by: Ciampino

When all the snot liquefies and runs out of your nose, the curry is great.

When all the wax liquefies and runs out of your ears, the curry is perfect.
----
I have experienced the sinus effusion too many times but never the auditory phenomenon. I do like those definitions.

Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 04:37 PM (qfLjt)

77 The cook at the country club just left for a two month trip to Greece. Who's gonna cook my chicken strips and fries now, dammit.

Posted by: That Guy What Always Says Yeah Buddy TM at June 19, 2022 04:37 PM (R5lpX)

78 My best cooking "mistake" was preparing an entire Pritikin diet meal for my parents and siblings when I was home from grad school.

Every bit of the meal was essentially some version of thin gruel.

The family consensus was that I no longer cook ANY family meals. However, I am the "go to" guy for grilling tasty meats!

I am perfectly content with that detente.

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at June 19, 2022 04:37 PM (tkyK5)

79 Does the zinc help with the covid?
Posted by: mikeski at June 19, 2022 04:34
-------------------

According the cancelled Front Line Drs, yes. Fauci, not so much.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 04:39 PM (ju2Fy)

80 My best cooking mistake was the time I fell asleep with a deer loin in my Traeger. My first words upon waking were "oh shit" but the meat was perfect-juicy with no gamy taste at all.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 04:41 PM (VdGjU)

81 Went through the entire process of making Beef Stroganoff only to discover the sour cream was bad.

After it was served.

Barf city.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at June 19, 2022 04:41 PM (BFigT)

82 My worst cooking screw-up?

Yer gonna need a bigger blog!

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at June 19, 2022 04:41 PM (5pTK/)

83 Who hasn’t come home and 2am put a frozen pizza in and th n passed out. To awaken to small black frisbee disc in the oven. And smoke detector going off

Posted by: Big Alfredo at June 19, 2022 04:42 PM (vwFqN)

84 Does the zinc help with the covid?
Posted by: mikeski at June 19, 2022 04:34

It helps keep the rust off your Anode.

Posted by: That Guy What Always Says Yeah Buddy TM at June 19, 2022 04:42 PM (R5lpX)

85 79 Does the zinc help with the covid?
Posted by: mikeski at June 19, 2022 04:34
-------------------

According the cancelled Front Line Drs, yes. Fauci, not so much.
Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 04:39 PM (ju2Fy)

My elderberry vitamins have zinc and vitamin c included...so probably yes...

Posted by: Nova local at June 19, 2022 04:43 PM (exHjb)

86 I'm trying to remember if I've ever made anything that was so inedible, we had to toss it and go out to eat.

I honestly cannot think of a single thing, but, that's because I only use CBD (tm) approved recipes.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at June 19, 2022 04:43 PM (5pTK/)

87 You have to wear a diaper while eating good curry.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at June 19, 2022 04:43 PM (89T5c)

88 Pizza in the oven

Posted by: Big Alfredo at June 19, 2022 04:43 PM (vwFqN)

89 I never made milk gravy until I was in my 50s. I had to look it up on the internet to learn how. Luckily, it's very easy.

Posted by: huerfano at June 19, 2022 04:43 PM (MzKgG)

90 I once was helping Mrs FmN make cookies. I put vegetable oil in the dough instead of Karo syrup. We laugh about it now…

Posted by: forgot my nic at June 19, 2022 04:43 PM (orvb1)

91 When all the snot liquefies and runs out of your nose, the curry is great.

When all the wax liquefies and runs out of your ears, the curry is perfect.
----
I have experienced the sinus effusion too many times but never the auditory phenomenon. I do like those definitions.

Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 04:37 PM

A Mexican buddy of mine in the Navy wanted Thai soup when we pulled into Pattaya Beach Thailand once. The lady told him it was too spicy for him, he said nothing is too spicy for him because he is Mexican.

It was too spicy for him. I sat there and watched him try to eat that soup, sweat was running down his forehead into the bowl. The wind shifted my way and my sinuses started draining instantly. He did not finish the soup.

Posted by: Mister Scott (formerly GWS) at June 19, 2022 04:44 PM (bVYXr)

92 Yeah, the goat cheese lady, Jess Pryles, is easy on the eyes.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at June 19, 2022 04:45 PM (89T5c)

93 It takes MORE than three licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.

Posted by: That Guy What Always Says Yeah Buddy TM at June 19, 2022 04:46 PM (R5lpX)

94 Not exactly a mistake, but . . .

When my wife first came to ths country as an exchange student, she'd never lived on her own before. Thus, she acquired some cookbooks.
One evening, shortly after her arrival, she invited me to her apartment for dinner. Poor grad student that I was, I accepted. She had prepared a passable tuna casserole.
Several days later, another invitation. Bill of fare: Tuna casserole Number 2.
Several more days. Another invitation. Tuna Casserole Number 3.
At this point, I casually inquired about the cookbook. The title?
"365 Tuna Casseroles."
We still have it after 40 years. I keep it as an answer to the kids' question, "Dad, why do you do all the cooking?"

Posted by: RS at June 19, 2022 04:46 PM (1XDfN)

95 I was making dinner for a guy I had a crush on and a friend was helping me. I always measure ingredients out and set them up in bowls first and then recheck them before I add them. (I have dyslexia which is why I do that. "tsp" and Tblsp" are really interchangable when you're dyslexic.) My friend added the ingredients without the double-check I normally do. Two tsps of salt became two Tblsps. of salt. It was very salty. The guy and I never went out again.

A mistake that worked out well, though looked awful, was one I made as a kid. I didn't know the difference between baking soda and baking powder. I was making butterscotch brownies from the Joy of Cooking and used baking soda instead of baking powder. Looked like tar, but tasted great. Made it on purpose several times after that.

Posted by: Lee Also at June 19, 2022 04:47 PM (Fioc7)

96 I suffer from sinusitis constantly. I'd be open to culinary options to clear them so long as it was more than for a few minutes.

Snorting Tabasco doesn't count. It makes my eyes bleed.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at June 19, 2022 04:47 PM (BFigT)

97 If anyone wants a good "you've got a virus" soup, this week (right before I got sick), I made a greens and miso soup.

It was 2 onions, 5 cloves of garlic, an inch of grated fresh ginger, a 1/2 container of miso, a bag of baby carrots, a whole bunch of collards (no ribs), a container of baby bella mushrooms, a container of chicken broth, 2 containers of water, s&p, and a little raw honey to finish...blended all up with some rice milk added at the end. It made enough for 7 for dinner and 2 lunches for me after (which I had the 1st 2 days I was sick, and the initial night I got sick for the dinner b/c I knew it was coming). It has a ton of natural antivirals, plus all the fluids that always help you get better when sick...and me and miso are always great for getting better!

Posted by: Nova local at June 19, 2022 04:47 PM (exHjb)

98 BIGGEST KITCHEN SCREWUP? ... Probably the veal medallions 30 years ago! ... 'Twas a new recipe ... Family said the seasoning was good, but the meat was rubbery ... How rubbery? ... Well, hubby and I had just gone to bed upstairs when middle son brought a new girlfriend back to our house ... Soon after, we heard moderate thumping and giggling sounds coming from downstairs, but did NOT assume what y'all might be thinking (otherwise, we WOULD have gone downstairs to interrupt the date) ... Anyway, when we asked middle son in the morning about the noises, turns out he was entertaining the young lady by pitching some of the leftover veal medallions onto the kitchen floor to see how high they would bounce!

Posted by: Kathy at June 19, 2022 04:47 PM (h3RRP)

99 Not really a cooking mistake, but I once was on the boardwalk with a jar of peanut butter, and a lady came skating by with her opened chocolate bar and ran into me!

Well as you can imagine, the chocolate bar went into the jar of peanut butter. We were both smiling and laughing, inlying a budding romance, and took a taste of the peanut butter and chocolate bar, and so did she!

And the resee cup was born! If I remember right, a musical jingle started playing.

Posted by: Jimco Industries at June 19, 2022 04:48 PM (buTO7)

100 I remember one time I made something almost inedible after it was cooked. My late sainted aunt made some dish, I don't remember what it was, and, my uncle, being an aficionado of hot stuff, had a bottle of flaked peppers on the table. which I grabbed, took the top off and promptly poured half the bottle on what I was eating. I managed to finish most of it, but, I was at the table without a shirt, due to the sweat pouring off of my body.

Yeah, the shaker top was in the lid I so blithely removed.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at June 19, 2022 04:49 PM (5pTK/)

101 Is that someones urine sample? Looks kind of cloudy, drink more water as my doctor says.

Posted by: Colin at June 19, 2022 04:49 PM (YVx1O)

102 My mom, who was a very good cook, once made what she thought was a blueberry pie but she used choke cherries instead.
(Choke cherries have stones. I assume none of you are familiar with choke cherries. )

Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 04:49 PM (VdGjU)

103 My mayonnaise is 2 eggs to one cup of oil.
Once I got fancy and put turmeric and black pepper in and for some reason it refused to emulsify (I suspect the black pepper) so I got inspired and used the runny egg and oil to make cookies.

This was not my worse cooking failure, but it might be close. Mustard powder and black pepper do not make for tasty cookies, even after you put in the allspice.

Posted by: Kindltot at June 19, 2022 04:49 PM (xhaym)

104 Son just left for Little Rock. Supper tonight is cleaning out the frig. Tomorrow is trash day. So far I've found 5 Coronas, 12 Bud Lights, half burrito, and some biscuits and sausage gravy. Think I'm good.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 04:51 PM (ju2Fy)

105 A few years ago the stupid cat knocked over some liquid air freshener in to a pan of pork chops. I did not realize this until the were served. Tasted like soap and were actually poisonous. Nobody was sent to the hospital though.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at June 19, 2022 04:51 PM (h1jJh)

106 Well as you can imagine, the chocolate bar went into the jar of peanut butter.

Kinky.

Posted by: jewells45 at June 19, 2022 04:51 PM (nxdel)

107 The problem with delivery is the deliverer and the vehicle they deliver in.

Like a hobo driving a dumpster with wheels delivering your food.

No thanks.

Oh look, martini time! One olive only please.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at June 19, 2022 04:53 PM (R/m4+)

108 My brother bought a hotdog steamer that holds 40 dogs and buns. He usually grills them along with brats, a lot more work. Leave them in there all day, perfect Chicago dogs. His kids eat.

Posted by: dartist at June 19, 2022 04:53 PM (+ya+t)

109 My biggest food mistake was making a big pan full of thick, delicious French toast only to discover that I was out of maple syrup.

I haven't had many true food disasters of the "omg wtf is this awful taste?" variety. I do consider it a tragedy when I work hard on a meal and for whatever reason it just turns out "meh."

Posted by: PabloD says start up the rotors at June 19, 2022 04:53 PM (rbh9X)

110 Hate oysters. It's like snot mixed with seawater.

Gotta give Nico's props for turning an old Pizza Hut into an upscale joint! I just thought it was a Greek restaurant serving up gyros.

Posted by: Lee Also at June 19, 2022 04:54 PM (Fioc7)

111 My worst unfixable mistake was forgetting the teaspoon of salt from my (justly famous) carrot cake. It had absolutely no flavor.

Posted by: Goddessoftheckasdroom at June 19, 2022 04:54 PM (REJkJ)

112 I finally remembered a cooking disaster episode:

I put some steaks on the grill too soon. The charcoal lighter fluid hadn't quite burned off.

It was an unpleasant taste.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at June 19, 2022 04:55 PM (5pTK/)

113 Not a true screw up, but back when the boys were young teens, I made the whole nine yards breakfast - bacon, sausage, homemade hash browns, eggs, bisquits and gravy, fresh fruit. The elder said to me "The gravy is too runny."

Hilarity ensued as I assured him that he would NEVER have to worry about runny gravy ever again. It's been 30 years and he just got to tell the story to his in-laws this week. His MIL expressed surprise he was alive to recount the tale.

Posted by: cfo mom at June 19, 2022 04:56 PM (Q8bDL)

114 So much this. Do you have a scale to weigh flour?
Posted by: Helena Handbasket

Have scale. Never thought to weigh flour. Especially after sifting.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 04:56 PM (c8pZY)

115 N.L. Urker - my mom used to make choke cherry jelly. We had a tree in our yard.

Posted by: PabloD says start up the rotors at June 19, 2022 04:56 PM (rbh9X)

116 Oysters anyway except oyster stew, and will eat that if nothing else available.

Posted by: Eromero at June 19, 2022 04:56 PM (0OP+5)

117 Not a cooking mistake but I've put BBQ sauce on ice cream thinking it was chocolate sauce.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 04:56 PM (VdGjU)

118 I don't know if this counts as a screw up exactly because it wasn't all that consequential. I once put some crispy tortilla shells in the toaster oven to heat them up a bit. Problem was that I stood up them up on edge so the fold was too close to the heating element. They caught fire, flattened out on the tray and continued to burn with the most lovely blue flame. I turned the lights off and watched them burn until they started smoking too much and set off the smoke alarm.

Posted by: Oddbob at June 19, 2022 04:57 PM (u1m27)

119 I finally remembered a cooking disaster episode:

I put some steaks on the grill too soon. The charcoal lighter fluid hadn't quite burned off.

It was an unpleasant taste.
Posted by: blake

Charcoal chimney. No lighter fluid needed.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 04:57 PM (c8pZY)

120 I've eaten my share of oysters but I've never heard of a curated oyster. Sounds expensive.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 19, 2022 04:58 PM (ZLI7S)

121 Hillary this week: "we are on the precipice of losing our democracy".

Interpretation: Democrats are going to get shellacked for the "economy stupid"

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at June 19, 2022 04:58 PM (h1jJh)

122
Charcoal chimney. No lighter fluid needed.
Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 04:57 PM (c8pZY)
-----------

Pellet grill. Plug in, turn on, set temp, walk away.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at June 19, 2022 04:58 PM (5pTK/)

123 115 N.L. Urker - my mom used to make choke cherry jelly. We had a tree in our yard.
Posted by: PabloD says start up the rotors at June 19, 2022 04:56 PM (rbh9X)

I love choke cherry jelly. I haven't had it in many years.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 04:59 PM (VdGjU)

124 Oh, dear, that top photo... the mind reels.
My biggest culinary screw up was leaving a pot of beans simmering when answering a phone call from a client.
I saved the house from a fiery demise, but the kitchen needed significant repair.
The cookware was discarded.

Posted by: gourmand du jour at June 19, 2022 05:00 PM (jTmQV)

125 > Oh look, martini time! One olive only please.
___________

I applaud your nihilism.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at June 19, 2022 05:00 PM (BFigT)

126 I put what I thought was thick brown gravy on white rice (while my friends stared at me). It was my first time at this little place called Pauline's across from the zoo. Turns out it was warm chocolate pudding. It won't inedible with porkchops and lima beans.

Posted by: Eromero at June 19, 2022 05:00 PM (0OP+5)

127 In boarding school in Nairobi I would watch my Indian fellow pupils eat pickled extremely hot peppers neat, out of a jar from home, one after the other. All I could take was about half an inch of pepper mixed in my mash AND that was hot.

Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 05:00 PM (qfLjt)

128 I suffer from sinusitis constantly. I'd be open to culinary options to clear them so long as it was more than for a few minutes.

Prime rib with real horseradish sauce.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 05:00 PM (c8pZY)

129 "Big ass chocolate cake?"

Advertising the cake or the end result?

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at June 19, 2022 05:01 PM (5pTK/)

130 I was making fudge but didn't boil the sugar long enough. The fudge never firmed up so we had chocolate pudding.

Hubby's cousin added a cup of salt instead of sugar to a pineapple icebox cake. Hubby's a jokester, so was under direct threats to be nice and not make jokes as this was her first time baking. He was the first to have a bite and no one believed him until they had. some.

Posted by: TB24601 at June 19, 2022 05:02 PM (3JHmL)

131
Prime rib with real horseradish sauce.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 05:00 PM (c8pZY)
-----------

Love horseradish sauce on prime rib. So easy to make, too.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at June 19, 2022 05:02 PM (5pTK/)

132 In a hurry to make a huge batch of oatmeal, I once threw it into grandma's microwave, the pressure cooker. brought it up to pressure, then removed the jiggler to de-pressurize. Lets just say that the ceiling looked much better with the new texture!

Posted by: StephanA at June 19, 2022 05:05 PM (q6ZCK)

133 Made a batch of chocolate chip cookies with imported Valrhorna 66% dark chocolate feves(oval disks about 1 inch by 1/2 inch) at $20/lb. I forgot to add the baking soda and powder. Flat, disgusting mess after baking. What a waste of good chocolate... did I mention I used 2 lbs. for this large batch?

Posted by: lin-duh at June 19, 2022 05:05 PM (UUBmN)

134 My buddy's wife boiled some eggs and forgot about them, went to the bar and the fire dept. actually came and got them. Of course they busted the door in and the house had extensive smoke damage.

Posted by: dartist at June 19, 2022 05:06 PM (+ya+t)

135 61 I was newly married to hubs #1 and decided to make batter deep fried chicken. After it had turned a nice golden brown I took it out and served it with potatoes and canned peas. It was raw inside. We ate a lot of hamburger helper back then. I was a lousy cook lol!
Posted by: jewells45 at June 19, 2022 04:30 PM (nxdel)

Don't feel bad. My grandmother had a (small) chain of cafe's from the 30's to the 50's, when she sold them to McDonald's. Her fried chicken was famous.

I have yet to make decent fried chicken, and I grew up next her her lumping floured chicken pieces into the lard. The knowledge did not penetrate my skull. So I guess that's actually the worst cooking mistake I ever made.

Posted by: Moki at June 19, 2022 05:06 PM (JrN/x)

136 So my teen girls know I am a pie lover, so they have made me an apple pie for Father's Day. It is their first "no Mom help" pie. It looks tasty but a little unkempt, I will let you know how the taste works out.

HFD to all that apply.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at June 19, 2022 05:06 PM (8GBH4)

137 Sliced off an eighth inch of my middle finger the first time I used my new mandolin. Didn’t feel it — just noticed the tip of my finger was cold. Then there was blood.

Posted by: Squid at June 19, 2022 05:07 PM (3sKsz)

138 To pic - should've used foil on the bottom.

Posted by: Weasel at June 19, 2022 05:08 PM (0IeYL)

139 133 Made a batch of chocolate chip cookies with imported Valrhorna 66% dark chocolate feves(oval disks about 1 inch by 1/2 inch) at $20/lb. I forgot to add the baking soda and powder. Flat, disgusting mess after baking. What a waste of good chocolate... did I mention I used 2 lbs. for this large batch?
Posted by: lin-duh at June 19, 2022 05:05 PM (UUBmN)

I am crying for you. That is a true tragedy, lin-duh, just for the cost of the chocolate, not to mention the work and anticipation involved.

Posted by: Moki at June 19, 2022 05:08 PM (JrN/x)

140 Peanut butter cookie recipe called for 2 tablespoons of baking soda. I added two CUPS of baking soda.

Yea, there wasn't enough raw ingredients in the house to balance that out.

Posted by: Unknownsailor at June 19, 2022 05:09 PM (8AU/3)

141 Squid

I have a mandolin. Sits in the box. I regard it as a suicide machine.

At least my wife did not buy it for me as a gift.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:09 PM (u82oZ)

142 "Gotta give Nico's props for turning an old Pizza Hut into an upscale joint!"

Isn't NICO's a favorite of one of those nit-wits from the show 'Southern Charm'?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at June 19, 2022 05:09 PM (1n+EO)

143 Whipped goat cheese dip with bacon, thyme and honey

The lovely and particular Mrs naturalfake is not a fan of goat cheese.

If I were to make this I'd change out the goat cheese for some form of bleu cheese. One of the creamier ones.

And not change anything else.

I bet it would be better than the original!

Posted by: naturalfake at June 19, 2022 05:09 PM (5NkmN)

144 Still trying to figure out what that top picture is.

Posted by: Infidel at June 19, 2022 05:09 PM (IcyNP)

145 127 In boarding school in Nairobi I would watch my Indian fellow pupils eat pickled extremely hot peppers neat, out of a jar from home, one after the other. All I could take was about half an inch of pepper mixed in my mash AND that was hot.
Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 05:00 PM (qfLjt)

Were you a diplo-brat by any chance?

Posted by: Moki at June 19, 2022 05:10 PM (JrN/x)

146 "Sliced off an eighth inch of my middle finger the first time I used my new mandolin. Didn’t feel it — just noticed the tip of my finger was cold. Then there was blood."

I've done that one too. Those things can cut you so bad before you're even aware of it...

Posted by: gourmand du jour at June 19, 2022 05:10 PM (jTmQV)

147 To pic - should've used foil on the bottom.

Yeah, would have made it easier to clean up. Oh, wait. You mean on the bottom of the pizza? Yeah, I guess that might work too.

Posted by: Oddbob at June 19, 2022 05:10 PM (u1m27)

148 Squid

I have a mandolin. Sits in the box. I regard it as a suicide machine.

At least my wife did not buy it for me as a gift.
Posted by: NaCly Dog

Get the chain maille gloves. Or the fish filet gloves.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 05:10 PM (c8pZY)

149 Again Nairobi. It's a Saturday and a bunch of us are footloose in town. It's getting late so we all went to this friend's house. His folks were away for the weekend. The Cook locked everything up and left. got hungry. We found a bag of flour, a bag of sugar and dome green food coloring. Everything else was locked away. I decided to make a cake. Mixed flour, green coloring, water and sugar into a nice dough. Tasted pretty good raw. Made a large ball (which at one stage dropped in the sink but who cares) and put into a pan and in the oven. The smell was delicious. 5-6 hungry boys. When we took it out cooked and cooled, it looked sick with the color and it was about as hard as a stone. We used a hammer to break it up and the pieces felt like they fell just like a rock into the stomach. Tasted good though. When I went home for the holidays my Mum explained to me I had left out the baking powder. Stomachs didn't complain though as we had experienced worse, indigestible food.

Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 05:11 PM (qfLjt)

150 Oh, that was a pizza.

Posted by: Infidel at June 19, 2022 05:11 PM (IcyNP)

151 The mandolin is a great kitchen tool .. to take off your fingerprints and/or donate blood.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at June 19, 2022 05:12 PM (8GBH4)

152 Made a large ball (which at one stage dropped in the sink but who cares) and put into a pan and in the oven. The smell was delicious. 5-6 hungry boys. When we took it out cooked and cooled, it looked sick with the color and it was about as hard as a stone. We used a hammer to break it up and the pieces felt like they fell just like a rock into the stomach. Tasted good though. When I went home for the holidays my Mum explained to me I had left out the baking powder. Stomachs didn't complain though as we had experienced worse, indigestible food.
Posted by: Ciampino

Congratulations! You made hard tack.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 05:12 PM (c8pZY)

153 My wife could write a book about her kitchen misadventures. There's a reason I handle the vast majority of the cooking. She's one of those people who would run out of basil and substitute mint because both are green...

Posted by: PabloD says start up the rotors at June 19, 2022 05:12 PM (rbh9X)

154 Sliced off an eighth inch of my middle finger the first time I used my new mandolin.

Yer doin' sumptin wrong, Hoss.

Posted by: Zombie Bill Monroe at June 19, 2022 05:13 PM (u1m27)

155 Using halogen work light, I have twice used it at work to cook hotdogs, put loosely in aluminum foil and turn a few times, and it's a good way to cook them.

Posted by: Skip at June 19, 2022 05:13 PM (2JoB8)

156 My mandolin injury was when I was experimenting with making my own potato chips.
Screw it, I buy them in the bag now...

Posted by: gourmand du jour at June 19, 2022 05:13 PM (jTmQV)

157 mandoline, not mandolin...
I like the little stringed instrument just fine.

Posted by: gourmand du jour at June 19, 2022 05:14 PM (jTmQV)

158 Came from a family of very good cooks. In fact, my dad taught my mom how to cook. As were the days, I had very long hair as a very young woman and managed to set it on fire while making a pot of tea for a family dinner. Banned from the stove, I became the official table setter, dish washer and kitchen floor sweeper until I was married.

Received a Pyrex bowl & lid as a wedding gift. Came in from work, managed to open a big can of baked beans & put the beans into the dish with lid & put it on the stove burner to 'cook.' It blew up on the stove. In a panic, I began scooping up handfuls of beans and dropping them into a garbage disposal. Having never operated one, I removed the rubber stopper to get all the beans in at once and then turned it on. Baked beans were flying around, smashing off the underside of cabinets, even raining from an area of the tiny kitchen ceiling. The hub came home, sort of collapsed onto a chair astounded while I stood in the center of the kitchen mess crying. Then he roared with laughter.
Thanksgiving 2021, didn't realize for hours a heating element failed in the oven where the turkey breast had been 'baking.'

Posted by: Lola at June 19, 2022 05:15 PM (NIYa7)

159 His MIL expressed surprise he was alive to recount the tale.
Posted by: cfo mom at June 19, 2022 04:56 PM

So, "runny gravy" > "calm down"?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at June 19, 2022 05:15 PM (a3Q+t)

160 "She's one of those people who would run out of basil and substitute mint because both are green..."

Is that wrong?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at June 19, 2022 05:15 PM (1n+EO)

161 Soy sauce bottle parked in cabinet next to a similar sized Worcestershire sauce. Really screwed up my fried rice.

Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin -- I wasn't particularly fond of the '70s the first time around at June 19, 2022 05:15 PM (H31K8)

162 The worst cooking mishap I had was cooking a meal on a tiny island in Lake Opeongo while canoeing Algonquin Provincial Park.

It was some Mountain House freeze dried food for our long excursion. The wind came up, blowing pine needles, ash, and some dirt into the food. The cooking oil layer did not work. Food stuck to our Al pan. It was a mess. But we ate it. It was that or go hungry for a day.

The large moose plodding it's way past our campsite, ignoring us, was part of the kink.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:15 PM (u82oZ)

163 I have a new portable AC replacing my window unit. They have two BTU ratings, with the lower one accounting for the fact that when air is blown out, warm air must seep back in. 13.5K vs 10.5K, but I don't know if the number difference is overstated.

This one Whynter brand can dry the air if you connect the hose. Regular cooling will evaporate and blow out any water collected.

The vent is 9" diameter and blows hot like a dryer vent might. Since my window is now flat and unobstructed I can put a screen over the whole thing. The apartment keeps black ones that shade a little, and probably help a little with the heat.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 19, 2022 05:15 PM (ybIRR)

164 I regard it as a suicide machine.

Exactly. It took me a few years before I tried it again. I used the protective holder too. Lol

Posted by: Squid at June 19, 2022 05:16 PM (3sKsz)

165 I will let you know how the taste works out...
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at June 19, 2022 05:06
------------------

Prayers up.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 05:16 PM (ju2Fy)

166 Also, a little more flour or masa would have thickened up the gravy nicely.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at June 19, 2022 05:16 PM (a3Q+t)

167 Village Idiot's Apprentice !!

Top o ta afternoon to ya, gov'nor.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:16 PM (u82oZ)

168 Ackshoowallee, one of my biggest cooking failures was last night.

I was making pork chops with mushroom gravy. And since the beautiful and hard-working Mrs naturalfake was, in fact, working I set the dinner for her usual coming home time. At that time, everything looked lovely.

But, she was running late because this was a once a year review with the clientele. So, I assumed she'd be back in 15 minutes or so and left the oven on to keep everything piping hot. Then, I got busy with some other stuff and forgot about the pork chops.

An hour and a half later....all that lovely mushroom gravy had reduced to thin layer over a brown baked on the pan warlike glop. And the chops were way over cooked.

Surprisingly, it tasted okay. But, the star of the show- all that yummy gravy except for like 3/4 cup was totally lost.

Posted by: naturalfake at June 19, 2022 05:17 PM (5NkmN)

169 "Our democracy" is not your democracy, Lemmi.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 19, 2022 05:17 PM (ybIRR)

170 warlike = tarlike

Posted by: naturalfake at June 19, 2022 05:18 PM (5NkmN)

171 Mandolines are wonderful, but yes, they are merciless.

I donated one to a church food ministry and got so nervous I volunteered every Sunday to be the one using it.

When I see cooks on TV not using the holder I wonder how the networks let them get away with it.

NEVER EVER without the holder.

Posted by: Aunt Ralph at June 19, 2022 05:18 PM (WSrmJ)

172 Salty!!!!

Top O' the evening to you!

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at June 19, 2022 05:18 PM (1n+EO)

173 I have a mandolin. Sits in the box. I regard it as a suicide machine.

At least my wife did not buy it for me as a gift.
Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:09
---------------------

Heh. I've thrown out the last two. I'm mandolin retarded. Gifts from the kids.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 05:18 PM (ju2Fy)

174 I made some spiced rice stuffed cornish game hens once. The recipe didn't specify on whether the rice was cooked or raw before stuffing the birds...I chose wrong. Raw rice isn't that good.

Posted by: lin-duh at June 19, 2022 05:18 PM (UUBmN)

175 Using halogen work light, I have twice used it at work to cook hotdogs, put loosely in aluminum foil and turn a few times, and it's a good way to cook them.
Posted by: Skip

Cooking with a Ford Windsor 351M/400 intake manifold.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 05:19 PM (c8pZY)

176 {{{cfo mom}}}

Did I hear you are coming to my AO? Again? After you spun me around and shoved that Ace of Spades card in my face? Good times!

Sure glad it was me you spun around. We had never met. One of my favorite stories.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:19 PM (u82oZ)

177 A birthday bbq in Pacific Beach. Gas grill. The meat was mostly done so I turned it off just as everyone decided to walk down to the beach.

Got back, the grill was still very hot. Turned out to be one of those dials where “off” and “hottest” are right next to each other.

Once we cut through the two inches of char it was pretty good.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at June 19, 2022 05:19 PM (3SV/c)

178 I hurt myself using one of dim guitar paster cutters

picky fucker

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 05:19 PM (us2H3)

179 I made some spiced rice stuffed cornish game hens once. The recipe didn't specify on whether the rice was cooked or raw before stuffing the birds...I chose wrong. Raw rice isn't that good.
Posted by: lin-duh

Cronchy rice.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 05:20 PM (c8pZY)

180 When I change the steel strings on my electric guitars, I can end up being poked by the end, drawing blood. Never sliced though, I wonder why mandolin players are so eager for a Game of Thrones level of danger.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 19, 2022 05:20 PM (ybIRR)

181 {{{Captain Josepha Sabin}}}.

Every time we meet the food was great. And so easy for you.

Psst. We ate at a local restaurant.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:21 PM (u82oZ)

182 "Cooking with a Ford Windsor 351M/400 intake manifold."

Beans and weenies on the turbine steam admission valve for a 1200 psi steam driven generator.

Gotta crack the lid, or the can will explode.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at June 19, 2022 05:21 PM (1n+EO)

183 Moki I don't deep fry mine for obvious reasons. Season with salt, pepper, Lawry's salt and flour. I cook them in my cast iron skillet and they are perfect. Many have said they are better than the locally famous Stroud's.

Posted by: jewells45 at June 19, 2022 05:21 PM (nxdel)

184 120 I've eaten my share of oysters but I've never heard of a curated oyster. Sounds expensive.
Posted by: JackStraw at June 19, 2022 04:58 PM (ZLI7S)

yeah, I was wondering too

sounds artsy, fartsy

nothing left that isn't over intellectualized

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 05:23 PM (us2H3)

185 I took my wife to Olive Garden for a significant date. We put the uneaten food in boxes. Left them in the car. It was hot.

Ate them 24 hours later. No problems. That's howe I know their kitchen is clean.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:24 PM (u82oZ)

186 183 Moki I don't deep fry mine for obvious reasons. Season with salt, pepper, Lawry's salt and flour. I cook them in my cast iron skillet and they are perfect. Many have said they are better than the locally famous Stroud's.
Posted by: jewells45 at June 19, 2022 05:21 PM (nxdel)

I'm trying that. It sounds delicious!

Posted by: Moki at June 19, 2022 05:24 PM (JrN/x)

187 My silliest and most wasteful cooking mistake is probably a somewhat common one.

Turkey baked with the various parts packages left in the cavity.

Rookie mistake.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at June 19, 2022 05:25 PM (eh1Wg)

188 Mandolines are a lil like snow skiing

seems easy and you get going faster and faster

pretty soon, you're bleeding

or worse

bark tattoo

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 05:25 PM (us2H3)

189 Made breaded deep fried cauliflower one Thanksgiving...with powdered sugar instead of flour. Everyone was saying how good they were then I finally ate one and realized my mistake...ugh

Posted by: lin-duh at June 19, 2022 05:25 PM (UUBmN)

190 I have a mandolin on my kitchen counter. Bought the first one from a street vendor in London. Guy literally set up on a sidewalk, did a quick demo and then sold all of one unit, to me. In fact it worked great and was from some German company. Not high end, but not crap either. Well worth the ten pounds I paid.

When I finally broke it I bought an expensive French model because I didn’t trust the looks of any of the cheap Chinese ones. It also works great but mostly gathers dust because it’s mostly useful for slicing potatoes and I don’t make fried potatoes or au gratin much anymore.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at June 19, 2022 05:26 PM (3SV/c)

191 I love reading directions so I don't fvck up very often in the kitchen. I don't put oil in the gas tank of my lawn mower either, lol. On the other hand making up recipes don't turn out so good very often.

Posted by: dartist at June 19, 2022 05:27 PM (+ya+t)

192 What is it with the european measuring units?!?!

Teaspoon, anyone?

Posted by: CloseTheFed at June 19, 2022 05:27 PM (LeNk3)

193 My worst cooking disaster was making a fine homemade meal for a redhead, thus inducing her to ruin my life for 2 years.

— too much?

Posted by: UnkleSteve at June 19, 2022 05:27 PM (t9mSz)

194 My silliest and most wasteful cooking mistake is probably a somewhat common one.

Turkey baked with the various parts packages left in the cavity.
------
Done that one too!

Posted by: lin-duh at June 19, 2022 05:28 PM (UUBmN)

195 Village Idiot's Apprentice

Brings bilge diving to the next level. It's a little harder in a 80,000 SHP ship powered by 4 gas turbines turning and burning. The electronics can be a tad fragile, even in the enclosures. Even the power was from 3 Allison 501K gas turbines.

I was TAD on a small USNS tug, and we caught a tuna on a line. The chef cooked it for us within 1 hour of the catch. Pretty good.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:28 PM (u82oZ)

196 I was distracted by chatting with WDS on the phone while making salsa and the salsa caught on fire.

This is not quite as odd as it sounds because I toss the tomatoes and peppers in olive oil and lightly char under the broiler to bring out the flavors. That's the step where the salsa caught on fire.

Posted by: Emmie at June 19, 2022 05:28 PM (6RgRK)

197 There's a woman at the pub with a charming overbite and a lovely smile.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 05:30 PM (VdGjU)

198 my worst dining experience is when I reached for the strawberry astroglide and accidentally grabbed the Vicks vaporub

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 05:31 PM (us2H3)

199 We had a BBQ chicken plate charity ticket sale when I was in college. Sold a lot of tickets. Too many it seemed to get the chicken plates delivered on time. The guys undercooked the chicken in a lot of plates that were delivered. Disaster of epic proportions. I was doing apologies and refunds for the next few days.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at June 19, 2022 05:32 PM (3jSxb)

200 If you aren't screwing up dishes you are not challenging yourself and learning. The trick is knowing when to hit the throttle

Posted by: Pete Bog at June 19, 2022 05:32 PM (/yVB8)

201 Xlear Max for your sinuses. It has cayenne in it so okay to mention on the food thread. The plain version is a sinus wash but the Max helps stop the draining.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at June 19, 2022 05:32 PM (YynYJ)

202 My wife screwed up a recipe and I let her know about it. It only happened once.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 05:33 PM (ju2Fy)

203 Early on in our married life, the missus was making some kind of pasta dish, it called for a pinch of nutmeg. She opened the jar and, assuming it had a built in sifter, upturned it on to the pasta.
To her surprise, the entire contents of the nutmeg jar emptied onto the pasta.
Well, she scraped off what she could, which wasn't very much, then tried to disguise it with more sauce, or more garlic, more whatever.
She served it to me, and I ate it, commenting along the way about the nutmeg taste, eyes and nose running.
Finally she broke down and 'fessed up.
I laughed and took her out to a restaurant.

Posted by: gourmand du jour at June 19, 2022 05:33 PM (jTmQV)

204 My first wife thought herself an Italian chef. The first "homemade" meal for my parents was worse than Spatetti-O's.

Seriously. It was really bad. And things went downhill from there.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at June 19, 2022 05:33 PM (BFigT)

205 I once set up the bread machine late one tired night because I wanted hot bread for breakfast, and also wanted to sleep in a bit.

It turns out that bread comes out better if you remember to put in the yeast.

The loaf could've been used as a curling stone.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at June 19, 2022 05:33 PM (bW8dp)

206 Oh and I found out raw chicken left in igloo coolers for a couple of days is the worst smell you will ever experience.

Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at June 19, 2022 05:34 PM (3jSxb)

207 One time I made a batch of good ole' Cornbread in an iron skillet to go with some Chili.

It turned out super rubbery and not much flavor. Reminded me kinda of those vegetarian food items where people claim yogurt can replace sour cream and "everybody says it tastes great". The next day I saw the melted butter in a cup. I'd added no shortening or oil or anything like that. Not the end of the world, but there is no substitute for good ole' grease, bacon fat, etc.

Posted by: Common Tater at June 19, 2022 05:35 PM (F0yZs)

208 > Oh and I found out raw chicken left in igloo coolers for a couple of days is the worst smell you will ever experience.

Beg to differ.

Posted by: Forgotten Bucket of Live Crawfish at June 19, 2022 05:38 PM (bW8dp)

209 206 Oh and I found out raw chicken left in igloo coolers for a couple of days is the worst smell you will ever experience.
Posted by: Anti doesn't matter at June 19, 2022 05:34
--------------

Chicken livers in back of teenage son's jeep after summer fishing trip. I traded the jeep.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 05:38 PM (ju2Fy)

210 I just remembered my worst screw up

my first chili cookoff, I let so many people sample my chili that I didn't have any left for the judging

too many beers

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 05:38 PM (us2H3)

211 Last Thursday I brought dinner to the BIL house rental in a dutch oven. Everyone was imbibing and swimming.
I had grilled the mild Italian sausage to perfection as well as the onions and red, yellow, and orange peppers.
As everyone was visiting the BIL and I put the dutch oven in the big grill and turned one burner on low.
When we finally got around to eating the vegetable were a dark paste, really thick black paste.
Surprisingly enough we all put the paste on the sausage and it was delicious.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 19, 2022 05:40 PM (qlyMQ)

212 olddog in mo

Smart man. You learn from pain.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:40 PM (u82oZ)

213 I think the top picture might represent a great way to make tortilla strips... just needs a little work.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 19, 2022 05:40 PM (qlyMQ)

214 Turkey baked with the various parts packages left in the cavity.
------
Done that one too!
Posted by: lin-duh at June 19, 2022 05:28 PM (UUBmN)

Yep, same here. In my defense, it was my first attempt at making Thanksgiving dinner and I was 20 years old.

Posted by: Jordan61 at June 19, 2022 05:43 PM (DgWEj)

215 Got punished for ma's mistake. She made a big deal out of home made donuts for a school mate and me. I told her she used flour to powder them, not sugar. Got a whipping for that.

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenko Solutions at June 19, 2022 05:43 PM (hAnpH)

216 NaCly - One of my favorite stories too. I just knew it was you! I had parked and I saw you walking up to the park and your description of your hat - I thought you were the guy I was looking for (keep your dirty thoughts to yourselves, Morons). Ran up to see for sure and yep.

Posted by: cfo mom at June 19, 2022 05:46 PM (Q8bDL)

217 Turkey baked with the various parts packages left in the cavity.

My mom did that early in her marriage. Being a Brit she tried so hard to please dad with an authentic Thanksgiving dinner.

Posted by: jewells45 at June 19, 2022 05:47 PM (nxdel)

218 My first real cooking mess was when I first tried to grill chicken for my "soon to be" wife - I had always used charcoal to grill meat before then, but my wife had this little gas grill and so I tried gas for the first time and burned the meat to smithereens.

My wife called it Pompei Chicken.

Posted by: Boswell at June 19, 2022 05:47 PM (5iUNf)

219 Oh, but as to your question - probably not going to get out there this year. Hopefully in '23.

Posted by: cfo mom at June 19, 2022 05:47 PM (Q8bDL)

220 Made a Turducken for Thanksgiving 2006. Had gotten married in March so had inherited a couple great kids and new wife was pregnant. The Sunday before TG my new step-kids' Dad had consumed anti-freeze, so he was in a terminal coma and would die the day after TG.

Needing to distract everyone from that mess was the motivation to make the Turducken. Both kids (9 & 7) participated in making everything with me. Deboning the 3 birds, making 3 different stuffings to go in and between the birds, all the other myriad side dishes, and a yuge pot of roasted eggplant and yam gravy. Just as the Turducken was finished, I somehow blew up the oven and filled our new house with toxic smoke.

Wife and kids evacuated to back bedroom with a wet towel under the door while I stayed in the kitchen and ventilated that room and the whole house and tried to save the food. After a couple hours the house was finally clear and wife and kids returned to eat a very small TG meal of what I'd salvaged from the smoke. I was sick for a week from the s

FacePalm, but did serve as a great distraction for awhile for my kids, who visited their dad the next day and said goodbye before he died.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 19, 2022 05:47 PM (XH8Ra)

221 206 Oh and I found out raw chicken left in igloo coolers for a couple of days is the worst smell you will ever experience.
Posted by: Anti doesn't matter

Makes the best crab bait though.

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 19, 2022 05:49 PM (U2p+3)

222 My wife called it Pompei Chicken.
Posted by: Boswell

Now that is a great name!
The kids will not let my wife grill anything.
She has made Pompei Chicken and Pompei ribs multiple times while I was on business trips.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 19, 2022 05:50 PM (qlyMQ)

223 214 Turkey baked with the various parts packages left in the cavity.
------
Done that one too!
Posted by: lin-duh at June 19, 2022 05:28 PM (UUBmN)

Yep, same here. In my defense, it was my first attempt at making Thanksgiving dinner and I was 20 years old.
Posted by: Jordan61

Anyone who doesn't admit to that is lying.

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 19, 2022 05:51 PM (U2p+3)

224 cfo mom

2023. Got it. Our local group gave up our Constitution Bee tent site at the Fair, so I am more open to events.

The local public range will be done refurbishing by then, if you want to try out cordless hole-punchers.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:52 PM (u82oZ)

225 145 127 In boarding school in Nairobi I would watch my Indian fellow pupils eat pickled extremely hot peppers neat, out of a jar from home, one after the other. All I could take was about half an inch of pepper mixed in my mash AND that was hot.
Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 05:00 PM (qfLjt)

Were you a diplo-brat by any chance?

Posted by: Moki at June 19, 2022 05:10 PM (JrN/x)
----
No. My Dad was into big construction projects (dams, cement) as a heavy machine operator.

Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 05:52 PM (qfLjt)

226 I made an apple pie and instead of cinnamon I accidently used cayenne pepper...Interesting to say the least

Posted by: It's me donna at June 19, 2022 05:52 PM (bs+z0)

227 Not me even though I have made a lot of mistakes. It's the only one I can think of right now.... I went to car show a few years back. The club sponsoring the show also made breakfast for the participants. One of the cooks got the bright idea to cook bacon on a camp grill sitting on a plastic table. The bacon grease melted the table and it caught fire. Oops!

Posted by: az_desert_rat at June 19, 2022 05:52 PM (S6qq5)

228 Posted by: Sharkman

I'm sorry for your stepchildren; but, I think you did an admiral job of distracting them!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at June 19, 2022 05:53 PM (qlyMQ)

229 That time I served the french toast without maple syrup. Total disaster.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at June 19, 2022 05:54 PM (5p7BC)

230 228 Posted by: Sharkman

I'm sorry for your stepchildren; but, I think you did an admiral job of distracting them!

LOL.. Next time try not to blow up the house

Posted by: It's me donna at June 19, 2022 05:54 PM (bs+z0)

231 My fellow grad student from India and I would go out for pizza. His half was cheese, mine was pepperoni. We were poor.

On his half he would open the top of the red dried hot peppers, and put on a layer a quarter inch deep. And he was a little guy.

Would have killed me.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:55 PM (u82oZ)

232 I once set up the bread machine late one tired night because I wanted hot bread for breakfast, and also wanted to sleep in a bit.

It turns out that bread comes out better if you remember to put in the yeast.

The loaf could've been used as a curling stone.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia

Bread machines are the devil's taint. Never could get one to work right.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 05:55 PM (c8pZY)

233 There's a woman at the pub with a charming overbite and a lovely smile.
Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 05:30 PM

* waves at N.L. Urker *

Posted by: AOC at June 19, 2022 05:56 PM (a3Q+t)

234 Worst screwup: making lemon rabbit soup for my in-laws – – the first meal I ever cook for them – – and cutting everything in the recipe by 2/3 except the lemon. We bought pizza. They were far more gracious than they should’ve been, once a certain portion of their body quit puckering.

Posted by: Robert Knepp at June 19, 2022 05:57 PM (+Elt7)

235 just opened my father's day goft from Smash. 10 year old Laphraig. swearsies, Ganny used to pit something that smelt a lot like this on my scraped elbow and knee booboos.

junior-ette gave me some shaving soap that has a cedar scent to it.

off to drink some peat tar. cheers! and happy father's day, Morons.

Posted by: BifBewalski @ (UgAdJ) - at June 19, 2022 05:57 PM (UgAdJ)

236
That time I served the french toast without maple syrup. Total disaster.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at June 19, 2022 05:54 PM

I did the same thing! Except I served the maple syrup and forgot the french toast

Posted by: AltonJackson at June 19, 2022 05:57 PM (ENBF0)

237 I burned some water awhile back. Apparently it wasn't wet enough.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * Ungovernable at June 19, 2022 05:58 PM (EmhqX)

238 BifBewalski

Have a great time.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 05:58 PM (u82oZ)

239 Anyone who doesn't admit to that is lying.
Posted by: nurse ratched at June 19, 2022 05:51
--------------

Yep. I was so proud I got the neck out of the butt. Didn't know about the giblets stuffed in the other end.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 06:00 PM (ju2Fy)

240 burnt bacon, pancakes with a liquid center... I once used sweetened condensed milk instead of evaporated milk in a ham and cheese quiche- it came out sickly sweet tasting, which of course was a great counterpoint to the diced onions in the recipe. Numerous failed pies. I've given up on pies. Spaghetti that was crunchy.
I keep it simple now.

Posted by: DB at June 19, 2022 06:00 PM (geLO8)

241 Sharkman,
Having met you, I know you are an awesome person and a fantastic dad. Happy Father's Day to you and to all those dads out there who really put their kids first.

I envy your sons and daughters. But, good for them!

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 19, 2022 06:02 PM (U2p+3)

242 I once made butter chicken ... And forgot the butter.

Posted by: Victor Tango Kilo at June 19, 2022 06:02 PM (OeBYn)

243 The left continues lashing out against everyone, even their own. Bristol AntiFa had to be held back from attacking Feminists. AntiFa believes the Feminists aren't sufficiently deferential to trannies.

https://bit.ly/3ydJGmR

Posted by: bonhomme at June 19, 2022 06:03 PM (i0wNm)

244 I burned some water awhile back. Apparently it wasn't wet enough.
Posted by: Sock Monkey

I dehydrated water once. Stove top method. Got it too hot.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 06:03 PM (c8pZY)

245 about 25 years ago, I ate 8 poppyseed bagels from brookside bagels in Simbury CT

best bagel evah and literally completely black all over with poppyseed

woke at 2 am with a teerible pain in my back, so terrible that I went to the ER

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 06:04 PM (us2H3)

246 Too many flubs to mention, but the most memorable came one year on my boys' first day of school, when it was our tradition to make waffles for breakfast. Instead of adding two tablespoons of sugar per the recipe, this barely-awake dad added two cups. Had to redo the whole batch, after cleaning the sticky mess off of the waffle iron.

Over a decade later, my now-grown sons still remind me from time to time.

Posted by: BRWombat at June 19, 2022 06:06 PM (f+AVZ)

247 There's a woman at the pub with a charming overbite and a lovely smile.
Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 05:30 PM

* waves at N.L. Urker *
Posted by: AOC at June 19, 2022 05:56 PM (a3Q

Snort

Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 06:07 PM (eGTCV)

248 Tonight I have a two inch thick prime rib steak I'm going to grill up. I pull the steak from the fridge for 30 minutes and salt it. I heat up a cast iron skillet with all burners on the propane grill for fifteen minutes. I throw the steak on the cast iron pan for a minute a side and another minute for the fat strip. I then cook to 90 F on one side on the grill, 126 F on the other. I wrap in aluminum foil for six minutes.

I'm doing French green beans and chop salad as sides.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 19, 2022 06:11 PM (i0wNm)

249 I have a rule: never make a dish for guests that you have not made before.

One reason I have that rule is that I made scallion cakes for guests one time. Simple stuff, dough and salt and scallions, but these were much thicker than my usual, like 3/4" thick and puffy. They looked great on the table.

As I was in the kitchen, working on the next dish, one of my guests asked me whether they were stuffed with cheese. I got very confused until I realized that one of them had not cooked through, and therefore was "stuffed" with raw dough. Embarrassing.

Posted by: Splunge at June 19, 2022 06:12 PM (2hil/)

250 Many culinary screwups, but the one I remember the most is the time I decided to make Duck Vindaloo. I had a nice cut-up duck, and I put in hot peppers and lots of vinegar, as the recipe specified. Unfortunately, I put all this in an aluminum casserole dish. The vinegar reacted with the metal so the whole thing tasted like tin foil. I've never made it again.

Posted by: Dr. Mabusette at June 19, 2022 06:12 PM (2Rb4L)

251 Just arriving due to making a batch of fresh pesto with basil from my tiny terrace garden. Dinner to be salmon with pesto Parmesan crust and corn and burrito ravioli (Trader Joe's) with garlic, lemon and capers.
Hope it turns out great because cleaning up the kitchen from the mess was exhausting.

Posted by: Sharon(willow's apprentice) at June 19, 2022 06:12 PM (Y+l9t)

252 One of the worst feelings there is for a cook is cutting into that thick, expensive steak too early and watching all the juices run out and make a big puddle on the plate.

I let 1" thick steaks rest a full 15 minutes now, no matter how hungry I am.

Posted by: Splunge at June 19, 2022 06:13 PM (2hil/)

253 "Our democracy" is not your democracy, Lemmi.

---

That is exactly how I have been interpreting all of these "democracy died tonight" and similar comments

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at June 19, 2022 06:14 PM (h1jJh)

254 Damn, I thought this was a smart Military Blog.... this Elite Foodie shit is just a bridge too far.
Posted by: SSBN 656(G) at June 19, 2022 04:25 PM (5AVMW)

I miss a lot, but I think we only cover the culture wars nowadays. Has there been anything on Ukraine analyzed?

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at June 19, 2022 06:15 PM (Mzdiz)

255 Gotta tell you - Chicken Bowl comes out perfect every time!

Posted by: Weasel at June 19, 2022 06:16 PM (0IeYL)

256 I just had a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup for linner.

Easy and comfy.

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 19, 2022 06:16 PM (U2p+3)

257 137 Sliced off an eighth inch of my middle finger the first time I used my new mandolin. Didn’t feel it — just noticed the tip of my finger was cold. Then there was blood.
Posted by: Squid at June 19, 2022 05:07 PM (3sKsz)

I've done that too, though fortunately it was a thinner slice.

Kevlar gloves cost less than $10. I won't use a mandoline without one.

Posted by: Splunge at June 19, 2022 06:17 PM (2hil/)

258 Power flickering here.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 19, 2022 06:17 PM (i0wNm)

259 Posted by: nurse ratched at June 19, 2022 06:16 PM (U2p+3)
----
Yum!!

Ever used a George Forman grill for grilled cheese sammies?

Posted by: Weasel at June 19, 2022 06:18 PM (0IeYL)

260 I let 1" thick steaks rest a full 15 minutes now, no matter how hungry I am.

Serious question: how do you keep them from getting cold?

Posted by: Oddbob at June 19, 2022 06:18 PM (nfrXX)

261 >>Damn, I thought this was a smart Military Blog.... this Elite Foodie shit is just a bridge too far.
Posted by: SSBN 656(G)

well, if you screw up a meal, for yourself as well as your guests, it can be the longest day

Posted by: DB at June 19, 2022 06:19 PM (geLO8)

262 260 I let 1" thick steaks rest a full 15 minutes now, no matter how hungry I am.

Serious question: how do you keep them from getting cold?
Posted by: Oddbob at June 19, 2022 06:18 PM (nfrXX)

A steak that thick has a lot of thermal mass. But, also, I live in Arizona.

Posted by: Splunge at June 19, 2022 06:19 PM (2hil/)

263 Ever used a George Forman grill for grilled cheese sammies?
Posted by: Weasel at June 19, 2022 06:18 PM (0IeYL)

I have but I know nothing.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, my trench is full of chickens at June 19, 2022 06:19 PM (eGTCV)

264 How could I forget the one time I tried to make pita bread? You know, with the pocket?

I thought I had found a ridiculous flaw in the recipe. Two tablespoons of yeast?? Yeah, right. I added a more normal amount, and of course they didn't puff, and had no other redeeming qualities.

Posted by: Splunge at June 19, 2022 06:20 PM (2hil/)

265 wife's knees are hurting atm or otherwise I'd be eating a chicken caesar salad

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 06:21 PM (us2H3)

266 Yum!!

Ever used a George Forman grill for grilled cheese sammies?
Posted by: Weasel

No! But sounds awesome!

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 19, 2022 06:21 PM (U2p+3)

267 256 I just had a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup for linner.

Easy and comfy.
Posted by: nurse ratched at June 19, 2022 06:16
----------------

The bestest. I just opened Father's Day gift from daughter. "The Great Grilled Cheese Book" by Eric Greenspan. Might be too high falutin' for my tastes.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 06:21 PM (ju2Fy)

268 I could never get store-bought pitas to open right

Posted by: DB at June 19, 2022 06:22 PM (geLO8)

269 I like to fry steak in butter then use that mixture of butter and cooked meat juices to fry my eggs sunnyside up. The remaining butter/juices is great soaked up with toast.

Posted by: Ciampino at June 19, 2022 06:22 PM (qfLjt)

270 Not a burrito, burrata. lol

Although burrito ravioli could be interesting.

Posted by: sharon(willow's apprentice) at June 19, 2022 06:23 PM (Y+l9t)

271 I'm hopefully finishing up a "summer cold". PITA. At least I didn't flub up microwaving a Devour Chicken Cordon Bleu Mac and Cheese. It's okay.

Posted by: mrp at June 19, 2022 06:24 PM (6eRlp)

272 I'm sure y'all know that grilled cheese sammiches are best with mayo instead of butter. Yes?

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 06:24 PM (ju2Fy)

273 If I were still eating carbs as a regular thing, instead of as a glorious exception (like today, when I made chow mein, fried noodles with pork and shrimp and mushrooms), I would never be without one of those Australian Jaffle (?) makers. Pressed hot sandwiches, sealed around the sides by pressing the bread together. Contents can be just cheese, or anything your imagination can conjure.

There's a part of me that just wants to say eff it, and eat those hot pressed sandwiches until I weigh 400 lbs.

Posted by: Splunge at June 19, 2022 06:24 PM (2hil/)

274 I envy your sons and daughters. But, good for them!

Posted by: nurse ratched

Thank you, Nurse.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 19, 2022 06:24 PM (XH8Ra)

275 That Ghost kitchens thing sounds like a modern version of the community bakery, where all the village women would gather to bake all their raised dough, so that everyone didn't have to gather wood and bake things separately.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at June 19, 2022 06:25 PM (SEt59)

276 I bought some middle eastern flat bread by mistake the other day for felafels. It seemed to work better than pita as it is a bit thicker. you have to fold it instead of opening the pocket. Stuck the remainder in the freezer so don;t know if it will still be as good once frozen.

Posted by: sharon(willow's apprentice) at June 19, 2022 06:25 PM (Y+l9t)

277 Tonight Mrs. F. is making dinner in my honor.

Taco salads.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at June 19, 2022 06:26 PM (EZebt)

278 272 I'm sure y'all know that grilled cheese sammiches are best with mayo instead of butter. Yes?
Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 06:24 PM (ju2Fy)

no

I'm tres gauche but I'd never cross that line

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 06:26 PM (us2H3)

279 Tonight Mrs. F. is making dinner in my honor.

Taco salads.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

At Trump Tower??

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 06:28 PM (c8pZY)

280 >I'm sure y'all know that grilled cheese sammiches are best with mayo instead of butter. Yes?
Posted by: olddog

Heretic!

Posted by: DB at June 19, 2022 06:28 PM (geLO8)

281 Taco Bowl.

Posted by: mrp at June 19, 2022 06:28 PM (6eRlp)

282 First screw-up that jumps to mind - first attempt at fried brie. Cooled the cheese. Carefully breaded a few slices. Gently lowered them into a wok with (overheated) oil. They disappeared.

Posted by: James Lovegrove at June 19, 2022 06:28 PM (3QEmR)

283 Grilled cheese sounds great! I'm going to make that for dinner. I like Havarti and Swiss on sourdough, with lots of butter to crisp up the edges.

Posted by: April - dash my lace wigs! at June 19, 2022 06:29 PM (OX9vb)

284 There's a part of me that just wants to say eff it, and eat those hot pressed sandwiches until I weigh 400 lbs.
Posted by: Splunge

I'm just about there with you.

Posted by: April - dash my lace wigs! at June 19, 2022 06:30 PM (OX9vb)

285 272 I'm sure y'all know that grilled cheese sammiches are best with mayo instead of butter. Yes?
Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 06:24 PM (ju2Fy)
----------------
no. I'm tres gauche but I'd never cross that line
Posted by: REDACTED
---------------
Heretic!
Posted by: DB
---------------

Try it. Just don't use fat free or light mayo. Has to be leaded mayo like Duke's.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 06:33 PM (ju2Fy)

286 This is not my story, but my mother's. She grew all her own tomatoes. One year she made homemade spaghetti sauce and canned it. It came out very well. The next year, she pulled out the recipe, and misread garlic cloves, and added whole heads of garlic. It was more brown than red. We called it "dragon sauce". If you cut it three to one with plain tomatoes, it was okay.

Posted by: Nancy at 7000 ft at June 19, 2022 06:34 PM (0tmoY)

287 203. There have been instances of nutmeg poisoning. (Most were intentional.)

Posted by: Lola at June 19, 2022 06:34 PM (NIYa7)

288 My biggest cooking disaster--I screwed up Weasel's chicken bowl recipe.

Posted by: Ben Had at June 19, 2022 06:35 PM (WPM4d)

289 I was making German chocolate cake and needed 8 ounces buttermilk. I found a pint and thought perfect, I won’t even need to measure it. The cake baked for over an hour until it set.

My mother got tired of getting up early to get the Christmas ham in the oven, so set set a low oven the night before. We woke up to a ham that had reduced by about 50% in size, and concentrated all the salt into half the space.

My wife and I went to a festival and had some chicken satay that was very good. I mentioned that to a Taiwanese friend, who promptly bought me a jar of satay paste from Chinatown. I made some beautiful golden brown chicken nuggets, and applied the paste. As it turned out, it was, um, more authentic than the festival dish. The powerful fish flavor was way too much. The tone of my wife’s voice saying, “you used ALL the chicken in the paste?” We had McDonald’s that night.

Posted by: Advo at June 19, 2022 06:35 PM (LcnVR)

290 It is their first "no Mom help" pie. It looks tasty but a little unkempt, I will let you know how the taste works out.

******

I believe Dad's Day regulations require extensive praise, punctuated by "Mmmmm-Mm!" and ask for a second piece regardless of how hard it was to choke down the first.

Posted by: Muldoon at June 19, 2022 06:36 PM (kXYt5)

291 olddog, I use the mayo on my grilled cheese, bacon and jalapeno sammiches.

Posted by: Ben Had at June 19, 2022 06:38 PM (WPM4d)

292 My sister once made drop biscuits but use a tablespoon of baking soda rather than a tablespoon of baking powder. That was memorable. Not just for the taste, but for the texture, too.

I once attempted to bake chicken and wound up with teriyaki chicken charcoal.

Posted by: Cybersmythe at June 19, 2022 06:38 PM (LJSpF)

293 At Trump Tower??
Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 19, 2022 06:28 PM (c8pZY)

===
I wish!

Posted by: San Franpsycho at June 19, 2022 06:39 PM (EZebt)

294 Try it. Just don't use fat free or light mayo. Has to be leaded mayo like Duke's.
Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 06:33 PM (ju2Fy)

ask me anything

ask me to clean out my toaster with my tongue

but don't me do this

Posted by: REDACTED at June 19, 2022 06:40 PM (us2H3)

295 Ben Had

♫ Good afternoon! ♪

This year in Corsicana.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 06:41 PM (u82oZ)

296 My biggest cooking disaster--I screwed up Weasel's chicken bowl recipe.
Posted by: Ben Had at June 19, 2022 06:35 PM

Ben Had, I made the ribs today. Turned out amazing. Everyone was raving about them. I think I have a winner here.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 19, 2022 06:42 PM (RkC6l)

297 I believe Dad's Day regulations require extensive praise, punctuated by "Mmmmm-Mm!" and ask for a second piece regardless of how hard it was to choke down the first.
Posted by: Muldoon at June 19, 2022 06:36
------------------

I thought those were Mom's Day reg's? You're a better man than me.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 06:42 PM (ju2Fy)

298 Thought I had undercooked a hard boiled egg.
Peeled it and nuked it for 1 min.
Took it out and jabbed it with a fork to test for doneness.
Went off like a hand grenade.

Posted by: William Muny at June 19, 2022 06:42 PM (ZOHGs)

299
Posted by: Ben Had at June 19, 2022 06:35 PM (WPM4d)
----
Unpossible!!

Posted by: Weasel at June 19, 2022 06:43 PM (in19T)

300 REDACTED
ask me to clean out my toaster with my tongue

** Spock eyebrow **
Do you have a brother in the UK that likes toasters a bit too much?

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at June 19, 2022 06:43 PM (u82oZ)

301 NaCly, counting the days.

Posted by: Ben Had at June 19, 2022 06:43 PM (WPM4d)

302 I served my new husband some recipes from "Diet for a Small Planet" back in the day.

My mother and I once tried to roast a duck my brother had shot as a supplement to Thanksgiving. Don't know what we did wrong, but it smelled so foul that we couldn't eat our dinners.

Posted by: sal at June 19, 2022 06:45 PM (y40tE)

303 A few days ago, I found a container of home-made biscuit mix in the back of my pantry. I recall being on a biscuit/pie crust tear a few years back. Think I had it in the freezer and took it out to make room, figuring I'd get to it before it turned. Nope. Probably could have sold the mealworms to some market, though...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at June 19, 2022 06:47 PM (bUGMk)

304 When I was single I came home slightly inebriated and decided to broil a steak. I had a gas oven with the broiler down below. I turned the fire on, inserted the steak and decided to lay down beside the oven. I woke up the net morning to a piece of charcoal the size of a hockey puck. Wonder I didn't die of smoke inhalation

Posted by: Javems at June 19, 2022 06:48 PM (AmoqO)

305 Story you will never hear about this Juneteenth long weekend. A white 17 year was beaten to death at a HS founded by LeBron James. Local story.

Posted by: Joe XiDen at June 19, 2022 06:52 PM (T4seV)

306 Making gravy for Thanksgiving turkey dinner I substituted powdered sugar for flower to deglaze the pan. I may have had some alcohol affecting my decision-making processes. It actually turned out OK but different, kinda asian sweetnsavory flavor. Never made that mistake again!

Posted by: NC Ref at June 19, 2022 06:52 PM (2kkiJ)

307 It can be ice cream time

Posted by: Skip at June 19, 2022 06:54 PM (2JoB8)

308 Red Mind Blue State, I'm sure mine are not as good as your's but they are definitely in the rotation.

Posted by: Ben Had at June 19, 2022 06:56 PM (WPM4d)

309 Baked Linzer cookies on the oven cleaning setting. Skip could have used them for homemade charcoal briquets.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at June 19, 2022 06:56 PM (2NHgQ)

310 You can save time by stirring the tamale filling into the harina and make tamale shaped things that are mostly edible.

Posted by: These fish sticks are hard as tits at June 19, 2022 06:57 PM (3AD8C)

311 re: the frozen mayo pic

Look at the reflection of the guy in the tile. He's not wearing pants...?

Posted by: the last to post at June 19, 2022 06:59 PM (z0GdT)

312 Saw first local ( Philadelphia) news in years, Uber rider from Philippines murdered, 50 yo guy shot down.

Posted by: Skip at June 19, 2022 06:59 PM (2JoB8)

313 Evening, Horde.

Missed the First World Problem thread, as I was outside with the trim mower.

@CBD, re; shoelaces. Talk to SMH about the precepts of PMCS to avoid such surprises. Heh.

Posted by: Iron Mike Golf at June 19, 2022 06:59 PM (8C7+r)

314 Not a screw up. Best Father's Day meal. Crawdad Boil with my oldest boy. We were under the deck at dark and some had dropped out of burlap bag and were attacking our bare feet. Hurt like hell. Those suckers were thrown in the boiling pot with vengeance.

That was 15 yrs ago. He passed 12 yrs ago. Kind of puts a damper on Mom and Dad's Days for us. Love you Michael.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 19, 2022 06:59 PM (ju2Fy)

315 Update on my pesto salmon. Fish cooked perfectly, 15 minutes at 350 degrees. Bread crumbs did not add anything so ended up scrapping them off. But pesto was delicious and added flavor without taking away from the salmon. Will definitely do that again sans bread crumbs.

Posted by: Sharon(willow's apprentice) at June 19, 2022 07:00 PM (Y+l9t)

316 Back many many years ago when still in the honeymoon phase, I made my wife a frozen ice cream cake. But instead of cake mix I used brownie mix and the brownie part of the ice cream cake was un cuttable. Rock solid it was.

Posted by: jojo2b at June 19, 2022 07:00 PM (A0Mvq)

317 GUN THREAD NOOD

Posted by: Skip at June 19, 2022 07:01 PM (2JoB8)

318
[brandishes oyster knife]

Posted by: Bubba, your shucker at June 19, 2022 07:02 PM (c8iAR)

319 Those oysters look like Long Island Bluepoints. The curator or the moose out back should have told you...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at June 19, 2022 07:03 PM (bUGMk)

320 I had a screw up where I baked a loaf of bread for 30 minutes at 275 instead of 375, and it came out looking anemic and yellow, so I put it back in for another 20 minutes at 375, and it came out fully baked and with the most tender, store type crust ever.
Now I bake my bread for 30 minutes at 275 and then for another 20 at 375.

Posted by: Kindltot at June 19, 2022 07:03 PM (xhaym)

321 I can't make desserts anymore, used to be very good at it. Had covid early on, and lost the ability to taste sugar (well, I *can* taste it, but now it just tastes really *bad*) So, not exactly a cooking disaster, more of an eating disaster... :-(

Posted by: the last to post at June 19, 2022 07:07 PM (z0GdT)

322 Son deferred Father's Day dinner. Too short a planning horizon and I'm fine with it. I'm making reservations tonight. He only suggested visiting for a dinner out on Fri.

Even so, I got a very fine gift from him. He had got an old garden tractor (30 years or so old, out of production) and was looking for a belly mower.

I suggested a mower to go on his 3 point hitch. And a source for a not too spendy one. He did his research and ended up buying the one I recommended. He's very pleased with it and we had a nice conversation about that.

Posted by: Iron Mike Golf at June 19, 2022 07:08 PM (8C7+r)

323 I poisoned a VP of Sizzler. I was 19 with no real kitchen experience. I over peppered 5 pounds of sirloin tips that were later used for vegi-beef soup. It was pepper soup. Grand Opening. So lots of VIP's were there....

Posted by: NOtaCOOK at June 19, 2022 07:14 PM (05sy3)

324 Your comment about oysters and cauliflower occasioned the email to CBD. [Insert "Smiley Emoticon Thingy" here.
Posted by: RS at June 19, 2022 04:13 PM (1XDfN)
--------

I just saw this! LOL!

Posted by: bluebell at June 19, 2022 07:25 PM (aeePL)

325 Set the sous vide for 3.5 hours on the chicken. It has now been over 5 hours. I'm going to grill it anyway.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at June 19, 2022 08:23 PM (0ocXn)

326 Many years ago Mrs. Spiff and I were cooking bacon in the oven. Gets extra crispy. We got a little amorous and left the kitchen. By the time we realized we forgot something we had already burnt the bacon completely black. Even the liquid gold was useless. I still think it was worth it.

Posted by: Spiff The Spaceman at June 19, 2022 08:28 PM (dNlrL)

327 I still think it was worth it.
Posted by: Spiff The Spaceman at June 19, 2022 08:28

Indeed Spiff. It was a pleasure to meet you in vegas, along w/ your Dad at the Atomic Testing Museum and your family later. How's the kids, the newest one was very young then.

Posted by: Farmer at June 19, 2022 09:16 PM (55Qr6)

328 Newlyweds tackling mashed potatoes and gravy. Mixer collided with the milk, resulting in runny potatoes. We just poured them over the too-stiff gravy. Good times.

Posted by: Marybel at June 19, 2022 09:34 PM (AX3j5)

329 " My guess is that the first thing to get tossed out the window is take-out and delivery meals. Why spend three or four times what it would cost to make it yourself, "

Probably because you don't have a kitchen in your pod loft.

Posted by: SDN at June 19, 2022 10:53 PM (o6RxL)

330 Some ribs I was grilling caught fire and burned a section of vinyl siding off of my house. And one time I was looking for something in my freezer, put a frozen 15 pound vacuum packed brisket on top of the freezer and left it there for three days. It had aged a little too long to be salvageable.

Posted by: Johnny Lanctot at June 20, 2022 01:30 AM (r97Lt)

331 Ahaa, its pleasant conversation concerning this piece of writing here at this web site, I have read all that,
so at this time me also commenting here.

Posted by: turkish Immigration Law Firm at June 27, 2022 05:52 PM (m1iET)

332 I enjoy what you guys tend to be up too.
This sort of clever work and reporting! Keep up the good works guys I've you guys to my blogroll.

Posted by: harga keris at July 17, 2022 06:20 AM (bt1Kj)

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