1
Good evening, Hordians. No, stay seated. No need to stand.

2 Spurious and effusive
Mysterious and elusive
Unique and exclusive
Curious but inconclusive

Wha?

3 Apologies for the delay. Technical difficulties. Short arms and a small brain slowed the diagnosis and eventual solution. Enjoy the ONT!

4 hola chamucos y chamucas

5 Hello all!

6 Good evening morons en bedankt Dino
=====

This is a Tucker, Candace and Megyn free zone. Please.
=====

M'kay.

7 Did the guy who thought he lost his couch gun still have his shower gun?

8 I went for a ride on Ron Popeil's boat once. I wish there was a story to tell but there isn't.

I did notice the distinct absence of Pocket Fishermen onboard.

9 Damn right the bar is open. I just cracked open a new bottle of JD.

10 Kaboom - A tile, grout, and bathroom cleaner

Thereby explaining why it was such a poorly received breakfast cereal.

11 I missed all of these commercials.

Wow.

Thighmasters!

12 how bout nick fuentes ?

13 Howdy, T-Rex!

14 I find infomercials captivating.

"But wait, there's more!"

"Buy One, Get One Free! Just pay additional shipping and handling."

15 I just cracked open a new bottle of JD.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 13, 2026 10:15 PM (snZF9)

Don't look up "cracked open" on urban dictionary.

16 And what of the Flowbee?

17 The Snuggie. Someone watched their kindergartener put a bathrobe on backwards and said "That's it! I'm a millionaire!"

Also hilarious to a tiny part of the upper Midwest where a "snuggie" was what kids called a "wedgie."

18 Space Patrol used to advertise Wheat Chex and Rice Chex, they would have Military Test pilots from Muroc and such talk about “staying in good condition” and being sure to eat Wheat Chex and Rice Chex, too.

I think that sort of direct advertising approach was frowned upon at some point. They had a lot of Swag, too. Flashlights and Neato stuff. Being a little kid in 1950s U.S.A. must have been pretty cool.

19 Mike Rowe is fucking awesome. He makes me proud to share his first name. A credit to us who are Mike.

Mike and Bob are two names that make folks say, I can trust this guy.

20 Apologies for the delay. Technical difficulties. Short arms and a small brain slowed the diagnosis and eventual solution. Enjoy the ONT!
Posted by: TRex - pitchman dino at May 13, 2026 10:14 PM (Gk7QD)

At least you reached the launch button and ... Kaboom! An ONT!

21 There's one song perfectly suited for this ONT, by the late, truly great Steve Goodman.

https://youtu.be/djv53DDUapQ

22 I refresh for 5 minutes, and nothing, so I give trying to be first.

23
Space Patrol used to advertise Wheat Chex and Rice Chex, they would have Military Test pilots from Muroc and such talk about “staying in good condition” and being sure to eat Wheat Chex and Rice Chex, too.

___________

Unfortunately, you'd get the same nutritional value from eating shredded newspaper as from breakfast cereal.

24 Julienned I think refers to long square columns of the thing. Like potatoes. Like Steak and shake fries. Or honestly, most fast food fries. Certainly mcdonalds.

Thanks for the ont.

25 That's Mount Calvary

26 Maybe it's just me, but I found this earlier comment from The Odyssey thread to be one of the funniest comments I've read in a long time:

232 Things Ellen Page/Achilles couldn't do:

Lift a shield
Use a spear
Have PIV with Briseis
Have PIB with Patroclus.
Posted by: 18-1 at May 13, 2026 05:22 PM (sKqQm)

27 I refresh for 5 minutes, and nothing, so I give trying to be first.
Posted by: JohnFNotKerry at May 13, 2026 10:20 PM (Xqite)

Do not try to be first, Grasshopper. When you are ready, it will happen.

28 The footage of Trump's visit to Beijing is interesting, but I don't particularly care for hearing Fox News sucking China's d**k.

29
Need to follow this up with the products featured in ads in the back pages of magazines.

30 Pittsburgh scanner does not disappoint. It also shows why aliens will never visit us. We're not even worth a bathroom stop.

31 I learned how to julienne an onion for French onion soup once. I couldn't do it today to save my miserable life.

32 Thanks for an inventive and informative ONT, T Rex!

Love the Pittsburgh scanner. Those crazy folks bring pep to ordinary lives!

33 Wow! That's terrific bass!

34 Evening all, thx TRex.
Used to get a chuckle out of the Popeil pocket fisherman. For those people to lazy to have a real fishing pole

35 I would actually watch Buck Henderson, Union-Buster!.

36 Gallagher was funny. Nice ONT, TRex! Thanks.

37 Evenin'

38 I refresh for 5 minutes, and nothing, so I give trying to be first.
Posted by: JohnFNotKerry at May 13, 2026 10:20 PM (Xqite)

Do not try to be first, Grasshopper. When you are ready, it will happen.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 13, 2026 10:22 PM (ExV1e)

Yeah, it's as much luck as anything. Sidebar is the real prize.

39
Mercury's superior conjunction is tomorrow, and here's some SOHO images showing the little booger diving into the Sun:

https://is.gd/T2Cfd6

Note how fast it's moving. It just so happens that this occurs close to perihelion (May 1 this time, so Mercury is really hauling ass. It will pop over the evening side of the sun and try to join the Venus-Jupiter conjunction, but we likely won't be able to see it as it will be too low on the horizon.

40 Pittsburgh scanner does not disappoint. It also shows why aliens will never visit us. We're not even worth a bathroom stop.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 13, 2026 10:22 PM (snZF9)
----
*** Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky has entered the chat ***

41 Gallagher. the GWAR of comedy

42 Slider Station sounds good.

43 Melania Trump had stuff (and made appearances) on QVC for a short while a whole bunch of years ago.

Sarah, former Duchess of York, also appeared on QVC post-divorce when she was looking for ways to make money.

44 oh man, Roadside Picnic. Starring the most Russian rednecks Iowa ever produced.

45 Pittsburgh Scanner
Strip District. 1931 Smallman Street - Novo Asian Food Hall. Caller says the employee from Kungfu Chicken is beating someone up. Not sure what caller expected.

Dude stole the punchline! You can't be the setup man and the funny guy! That's not how this works!

46 Sarah, former Duchess of York, also appeared on QVC post-divorce when she was looking for ways to make money.

---------

I remember. The truckstop gig didn't pan out and she was desperate.

47 The spawn got promoted to Aide de Camp in JROTC tonight.

48 Apologies for the delay. Technical difficulties. Short arms and a small brain slowed the diagnosis and eventual solution. Enjoy the ONT!
Posted by: TRex - pitchman dino at May 13, 2026 10:14 PM (Gk7QD)
---
Sounds like you could use the Dino Arm Extenders (patent pending), just perfect for the busy TRex on the go!

49 I made a nood pun, then nooded for real. It kept me entertained while waiting. I promise not to do it again, ever, till I forget having done it. So, next Tuesday.

Girthy tonight, mercy buck ups!

50 From Wikipedia:

Julienne, allumette, or French cut is a culinary knife cut in which the food item is cut into long thin strips, similar to matchsticks. Common items to be julienned are carrots for carrots julienne, celery for céléris remoulade, potatoes for julienne fries, or cucumbers for naengmyeon. Trimming the ends of the vegetable and the edges to make four straight sides makes it easier to produce a uniform cut. A uniform size and shape ensures that each piece cooks evenly and at the same rate.…

51 Evening all, thx TRex.
Used to get a chuckle out of the Popeil pocket fisherman. For those people to lazy to have a real fishing pole

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 13, 2026 10:23 PM (gu0hJ)

I always wondered just who would need one of those. Yeah, going to my office job on the 457th floor of mondo tower in the city and I just have to find a lake somewhere among 180,000 sq acres of pavement to fish. Everybody else who is that serious about fishing would have a real pole and tackle in their car because they're not in the frigging city.

52 The Mike Rowe Katsak is a classic. He did an updated version of this a decade or so ago.

53 I need an aide de camp.

I'd settle for a flunkie.

54 Yes, I always read the ONT and Pixy's disclaimers. I find them hilarious!

55 Head-On.

Apply Directly to the Forehead.

56 The Pocket Fisherman was actually pretty good, for the price.

57
Sarah, former Duchess of York, also appeared on QVC post-divorce when she was looking for ways to make money.

Posted by: Vendette at May 13, 2026 10:26 PM (1ieqq)

______________

You'd think they were among the superwealthy, but most of the royals are comically impecunious. This, coupled with low intelligence and lack of business sense, is how they end up courting people like Epstein and Arab thugs.

58 everybody likes Kungfu Chicken
*doot de doot de doot-doot doot*
all y'all sushi fools gettin' yo ass-kicken

59 Gallagher was indeed funny, but most folks forget that his name was Rory Barthlomew Gallagher III.

I do like his bit about folks moving across the Rockies. Denver folks looked up and said "Fuck it."

60 I need an aide de camp.

I'd settle for a flunkie.
Posted by: Cicero

We got a factory-refurb toady. That work?

61 Kaboom - A tile, grout, and bathroom cleaner
...and a breakfast cereal. Don't forget that.

62

Lucy does some splainin in this commercial:

https://youtu.be/6x4Uk7qWRR8

63 Throwing away a couch gun is a nice relief from all those canoe accidents.

64 47 The spawn got promoted to Aide de Camp in JROTC tonight.

Posted by: lin-duh is offended at May 13, 2026 10:27 PM (VCgbV)

Congrats to your kid!

65 I need an aide de camp.

I'd settle for a flunkie.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 13, 2026 10:28 PM (JkO4W)

A good henchmen would be useful.

66 I always enjoyed the commercial for the aerosol can of spray on hair paint for covering bald spots.

67
The spawn got promoted to Aide de Camp in JROTC tonight.

Posted by: lin-duh is offended at May 13, 2026 10:27 PM (VCgbV)

___________

Does he ride on a horse and wear a helmet with a plume? Or am I mixing that up with something else?

68 George Foreman walked the streets of Jensen Dr., Houston, looking for fights until he strolled into a boxing gym and it changed his life.

https://youtu.be/iswHPKP5sEU?t=325

69 ... long-form ads were limited because of strict FCC regulations from the 1950s-1960s that capped advertising time per hour and discouraged "program-length commercials" to protect the public from excessive selling.


Somebody should have told them about PBS.

70
I need an aide de camp.

Named Rosemary.

71 I need an aide de camp.

I'd settle for a flunkie.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 13, 2026 10:28 PM (JkO4W)

Best is, I know a guy *adjusts tie* *pops cuffs*

72 I refresh for 5 minutes, and nothing, so I give trying to be first.
Posted by: JohnFNotKerry

Likewise. Figure nine minutes was enough. Thought maybe it was Monday when those slacker COBs post late. Went off to fix our beverages for dinner. Still got #2, though.

73 Somebody should have told them about PBS.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 13, 2026 10:35 PM (/lPRQ)

--------

Tote bag sales are exempt.

74
Look upon my First, ye mighty, and despair.

75 Does he ride on a horse and wear a helmet with a plume? Or am I mixing that up with something else?
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh
-- -
She and the are no horses, helmets, or plumes.

76 There’s a great YT video, comedian takes his Bass guitar to a Bass Tournament. You know, Bass fishing. He gets to playing Bass solos on his boat, pissing off professional Bass fishermen.

“This ain’t no Bass tournament! It’s a Bass tournament!” and the inevitable “You’re in my water”.

77 I have a nephew (by marriage) who’s in the Corps at Texas A & M, and I was amazed to learn that in his senior year, he was appointed Corps Chaplain. He intends to pursue a career as Chaplain in one of the US services. I have only known him as a rather quiet young man, and had no idea he was thinking of this path. Quite impressed!

78 Apologies for the delay. Technical difficulties. Short arms and a small brain slowed the diagnosis and eventual solution. Enjoy the ONT!
Posted by: TRex - pitchman dino at May 13, 2026 10:14 PM (Gk7QD)
---
Sounds like you could use the Dino Arm Extenders (patent pending), just perfect for the busy TRex on the go!
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 13, 2026 10:27 PM (gnNyN)

TRex is about to go looking for Waldo, to use him as a waldo, or remote arm.

79 66 I always enjoyed the commercial for the aerosol can of spray on hair paint for covering bald spots.
Posted by: nerdygirl at May 13, 2026 10:34 PM (0Htd1)

Forgot about that one. It was a Ron Popeil product (Ronco).

80 Tom Servo,
The spawn is aiming for the Corps at A&M.

81 Regarding those garbage kid cereals -

"Dr." John Kellogg was into extreme enemas and colon obsession: He believed most diseases stemmed from a "dirty colon" and "auto-intoxication." The sanitarium had an "enema room" with machines delivering up to 15 quarts (about 14 liters) of water per minute. He pushed for 4+ bowel movements daily, yogurt drinks, and even yogurt enemas.

via Grok.

Not near as much fun as Jell-o wrestling or Mazzola parties though.

Kellogg was way into kink. Like M Gandhi too. Pervs.

82 The footage of Trump's visit to Beijing is interesting, but I don't particularly care for hearing Fox News sucking China's d**k.
Posted by: Dr. T at May 13, 2026 10:22

I was thinking similar. Tho really, it's sad Trump is doing the same. I understand he's just dealing with reality, better than most president's have.

Americans better not forget China is not our friend. I'm sure Trump hasn't.

83 79 66 I always enjoyed the commercial for the aerosol can of spray on hair paint for covering bald spots.
Posted by: nerdygirl at May 13, 2026 10:34 PM (0Htd1)

Forgot about that one. It was a Ron Popeil product (Ronco).

----------

Ron really missed the boat when he didn't call the product Go Flock Yourself.

84 Looking upon your First, alrighty, and don'care.

Hey, has anyone seen tankdemon tonight? He's late.

85

Ronco Pocket Fisherman

https://t.ly/wFxjz

86 Mazel tov Cadet lin-duh!

87 Yogurt enemas? I mean... Just no.

Eating yogurt, fine.

Power washing your colon with it seems .... I do not get what it is supposed to do.

88 Supreme Court Associate Justice William O. Douglas married a 23 year old attorney. When he was 67

89 Ronco Pocket Fisherman

https://t.ly/wFxjz

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

Ron missed the boat on that one. There was a Cleveland late night horror movie show that was hosted by "Big Chuck and Little John" maybe in the 80's. Little John was a midget. One of their skits was a take off of Janitor in a Can with Big Chuck wheeling out a 55 gal drum and Little John popping out of it with a broom.

Ron P - similarly, the Pocket Fisherman should have have a little dude pop out of your pocket with a short spinning outfit.

90 Posted by: Tonypete at May 13, 2026 10:42 PM (Kyh8Y)
====

Have you tried new Colon Blow?

91 You'd think they were among the superwealthy, but most of the royals are comically impecunious. This, coupled with low intelligence and lack of business sense, is how they end up courting people like Epstein and Arab thugs.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh
=========
Entailed estates where the real estate goes with the title and can't in some cases be used as collateral for loans. King/Queen and Prince of Wales have substantial wealth tied to their estate earnings (a big chunk of London for example provides rental earnings to the King/Queen) but a lot of Earls from ancient families with large estates are probably wealthier than the lesser royals like Edward and his clan.

Working royals of which the list is shrinking, get official protection paid for by the crown and I think the King gets an allowance from Parliament (or did) to help offset personnel costs to run the palaces.

92 Hey Good Lookin! We’ll be back to pick you up later!

93 William O. Douglas married a 23 year old attorney. When he was 67

Her name was Lisa, a cutie with a funny accent. They left Manhattan and moved to the countryside.

94 Supreme Court Associate Justice William O. Douglas married a 23 year old attorney. When he was 67
Posted by: Common Tater

Sheeeeeeet!!

Douglas got nothing on me!!

-- James Howard Marshall II, married Anna Nicole Smith in 1994.

He was 89; she was 26.

95 Have you tried new Colon Blow?
Posted by: San Franpsycho

Man, Phil Hartman was the best!

96 Sometimes revenge is best served hot...

1] Do you feel like doing something?

2) I don't think so, Patti, honey. It's too friggin' hot out. What did ya have in mind?

1) My ex-husband is away with his new gf so I was gonna go over to his place, shut off the AC, and leave a dead possum on his couch.

2) Lemme just change.

97 He was 89; she was 26.
Posted by: Tonypete at May 13, 2026 10:51 PM (Kyh8Y)

------

A typical May-Bronze Age romance.

98 Admittedly he may have been duly impressed by her briefs, and oral arguments.

99 Supreme Court Associate Justice William O. Douglas married a 23 year old attorney. When he was 67
Posted by: Common Tater at May 13, 2026 10:47

To top it off she was his 4th wife. He didn't know how to pick em, just like he didn't know how to pick the right legal decision. Longest serving SC Justice at 36 yrs. Clarence Thomas is closing in on that record.

100 Americans better not forget China is not our friend. I'm sure Trump hasn't.

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at May 13, 2026 10:43 PM (55Qr6)

China is asshoe!

101 There was a movie made about the Kellogg brothers. John was a true believer and extremist in healthy eating. He developed cereal flakes as a health food. William Keith was an entrepreneur and wanted to make money and compete with Post. Somehow William Keith ended up with control of the company and we now have all those sugar cereals.

102
William O. Douglas was a despicable person. FDR was considering him for VP in 1944. God was looking out for the US when Truman was chosen instead.

103 88 Supreme Court Associate Justice William O. Douglas married a 23 year old attorney. When he was 67
Posted by: Common Tater

Douglas had four wives and was pretty much an unsociable, lazy, and a general PITA to his fellow justices and insisted after he resigned that he could take senior status. He tried to get his clerks reassigned to him and tried to sit in on the hearing of Gregg v. Georgia. It took all eight other justices backing CJ Burger excluding Douglas from any access to Scotus for Douglas to finally realize his career was over.

104
I've seen some of the menus from the Battle Creek Sanitarium. I'd just as soon go hungry.

105 Did you know that they're fucking with the weather and they don't know what they are doing? Pay attention.

Who are they? That's the million dollar question.

106 Army buddy of mine was the escort officer for Suzanne Sommers on a trip she made to Korea. Said she was a marvelous person.

107 47 The spawn got promoted to Aide de Camp in JROTC tonight.
Posted by: lin-duh is offended

Nice. I was a fan of Rosemary DeCamp.

108 William O. Douglas was a despicable person. FDR was considering him for VP in 1944. God was looking out for the US when Truman was chosen instead.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh
========
He was old and sour at the end and I think FDR dangled that VP slot to a lot of folks but really liked his current VP at the time, Wallace the commie symp, for VP as did Eleanor.

It took FDR's chief of staff Leahy, his chief military advisor Pa Watson, and his chief political advisor Byrnes along with key members of Congressional leadership to push off Wallace and replace him with Truman.

109 Her name was Lisa, a cutie with a funny accent. They left Manhattan and moved to the countryside.
Posted by: mindful webworker - bought a tractor at May 13, 2026 10:51

Farm living is the life for me...

Green Acres we are there!

110 This could be a Doof problem.

I was playing air drums to Rush in my car, but a drumstick flew out the window. I had to switch to Def Leppard.

111 Working royals of which the list is shrinking, get official protection paid for by the crown and I think the King gets an allowance from Parliament (or did) to help offset personnel costs to run the palaces.

Posted by: whig at May 13, 2026 10:49 PM (E4rtv)

While royal properties have security, only Chuck, Camilla, William, Kate, George, Charlotte, and Louis get 24/7 personal security. The other working royals get personal security when they are doing engagements, otherwise they don't have any. So when Harry and Meghan complain that they should have full-time security paid for by the British government, they are demanding a special security status that is better than the relatives who actually perform royal duties.

112 Willie Mays>>Billy Mays

113 110 This could be a Doof problem.

I was playing air drums to Rush in my car, but a drumstick flew out the window. I had to switch to Def Leppard.
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 13, 2026 11:01 PM (qx7Zg)

I'd give you a hand for that, but, well, y'know ...

114 Did the instructions for the Thighmaster have in small print "Note: Your personal results may vary if you don't begin as Susanne Sommers" ?

115 Douglas had four wives
---
Well he married his third wife when she was 23 and they divorced after 3 years and then he married his 4th wife when she was 22 and he was 67. They stayed married until he died at 80. Interestingly he only had 2 kids from his first marriage. Per Wikipedia

116 I think they had to change the locks at the Supreme Court? Ha

Another “live ghost” was apparently Admiral Richard Byrd, the famous polar explorer.

For some reason he had an office at the old DC Post Office building, which many many years later was used by the Fibbies for telephone surveillance.

Guards, color coded entry passes, nothing seemed to stop him from wandering where he had no right to be. The agents would look up and there was Admiral Byrd. They figured he was just lonely and wanted to talk. They finally got him evicted, and then they sort of missed the old bastard.

117 As I recall, some relative of Kellogg's (son?) was a doctor in California, who, after the terrible flu epidemic of WWI, did a study which he said showed that more people got sick and died from the useless medical masks folks used (improperly) than from the flu itself.

Yeah. What a kook, eh?😲

118 47 The spawn got promoted to Aide de Camp in JROTC tonight.
Posted by: lin-duh is offended at May 13, 2026 10:27 PM (VCgbV)

Outstanding, and congratulations, Spawn and proud parents & family!

119 the Sham Wow! guy ran in the Republican primary for District 31 in Texas. He did not win. So now we're stuck with 82 y/o John Carter. We also had that loud Venezuelan chick, Valentina Gomez running in the primary. She did not win either.

120 Strom Thurmond had 4 children after age 70.

Tony Randall had two after age 75.

121 I need an aide de camp.

I'd settle for a flunkie.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 13, 2026 10:28 PM (JkO4W)

A good henchmen would be useful.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 13, 2026 10:34 PM (zZu0s)

Best I can do is a low wit lackey.

122 Evenin’, All. Shto novovo?

123 I always buy my female…friends a ShakeWeight.
Because I’m a giver. Like that.

124 Wallace was actually an Espionage agent, it took them many years to go through them, but the Venona cables bore this out. Harry Hopkins was suspect, too.

“How do you think I feel? I have to live with her!”
FDR, to Hoover, after he explained the latest surveillance peccadillos about Eleanor.

125

I need an aide de camp.

I'd settle for a flunkie.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 13, 2026 10:28 PM (JkO4W)

A good henchmen would be useful.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 13, 2026 10:34 PM (zZu0s)

Best I can do is a low wit lackey.

Posted by: Rick Harrison at May 13, 2026 11:07 PM (wVcYX)

_____________

Those of us with courtiers and equerries laugh at you.

126 That Phil Swift guy talked me into cutting my boat in half.

127 Lauchlin Currie and quite a few others were secret Reds, too. Fucked up the world pretty badly.

128 Posted by: Vendette
=====
You have more of the specifics than I and I think you are correct. The Queen and now the King have been paring back royal expenses on the taxpayers for years now fearing to be seen as expensive welfare ornaments of the state.

Visible security used to be a lot higher for the royals back in the time where Princess Anne was nearly abducted and the IRA was running around committing terrorism. Course, it is also a task for MI-5 and 6 to keep tabs on the royals as terrorist targets and their loyalty oath is specifically to the Crown.

It is not clear yet exactly how much sway the King/Queen still retains with the security services but it is probably higher than any other department in government. The people that know aren't talking.

129 Are we still, in 2026, setting car hoods on fire?

130 Y'all have fun, early doc appt.

131 A good henchmen would be useful.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 13, 2026
*
Best I can do is a low wit lackey.
Posted by: Rick Harrison at May 13, 2026

***
"Harmony? Harmony has -- minions??"
(-- Buffy, giggling madly at being told the vacuous Mean Girl vampire Harmony actually has lackeys)

132 I always enjoyed the commercial for the aerosol can of spray on hair paint for covering bald spots.
Posted by: nerdygirl
......

Don Lemon uses that stuff, but first he tapes off his forehead.

133 This could be a Doof problem.

I was playing air drums to Rush in my car, but a drumstick flew out the window. I had to switch to Def Leppard.
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf

More of a problem for the guy driving right behind you.

134 Green Acres we are there!
Posted by: Farmer

Hey, Farmer. Back on the 10th, I had a comment with the tag line "legally, morally, spiritually criminal," and you replied, "you are not a criminal."

Thanks, but I wanted to clarify, however belatedly, that was not meant to refer to me.😒

acecomments.mu.nu/?post=419585
#c42392811
#c42392922

135 Army buddy of mine was the escort officer for Suzanne Sommers on a trip she made to Korea. Said she was a marvelous person.
Posted by: Diogenes at May 13, 2026 10:59 PM (2WIwB)

The camera never did her justice. Saw her a few times at the Malibu farmers market back in the day. She was gorgeous, and this was long after those Thighmaster commercials..

136 I ordered the Veg-o-Matic. Decided to try it out by chopping a tomato. Took an hour to clean the kitchen. Never really got the stain out of my clothes

137 Did I miss the Ginsu knife guy?

But wait!
There’s more!

138 Aw, c'mon! Where's the Bass-O-Matic?!?!?!

https://youtu.be/gpgpiawOFbg

139 I remember that Billy Mays, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon all seemed to die around the same time. It was right after I got laid off from a job, in the spring of 2009.

140 Wallace was actually an Espionage agent, it took them many years to go through them, but the Venona cables bore this out...
------
As an aside, I have a vicarious association with this fellow:

https://shorturl.at/twSd7

141 Strom Thurmond had 4 children after age 70.

Tony Randall had two after age 75.

Posted by: A Place For Mom at May 13, 2026 11:07 PM (oftw2)

I feel bad for my younger kids, who are caboose babies to a caboose baby. It doesn't help that my siblings have essentially cut me off (supposedly because Pooky got a service dog, but I'm not buying it).

Oh well, church friends have practically adopted my kids. One family that's heavily involved in praise team has called Pookette an honorary family member because she often sings with them. Her science teacher is always willing to help me out with getting her places or keeping her in contact with me. Another couple is without grandkids, so they watch Lil Pooky and he adores them.

142 Weird Al wrote a song about Mr. Popeil

143
Dogs taken care of and fed, medicine taken, evening prayers said. Good night, Hordians.

144 Evening, folken,

I'm lined up for video chat tours of two properties in Terre Haute tomorrow morning and afternoon. One is more than I really want to spend; the second is well priced. My first choice is a brick 3-BR that *looks* to need only the carpet replaced in the master bedroom. "Looks," I say, because of course the pics on the website are always more flattering than the reality. (Well, usually; you should see some of the dumps in this zip code -- not even pro lighting and artful framing can make them look good.)

Off to bed in a bit for me. Howzabout choo?

145 Need to patch a hole in your leather couch, jacket, or skirt and color match as well?

146 There are a lot of "YouTube Poops" , or parody videos, based on Vince, Billy, and Phil the Flex Tape guy. King Of The Hill too.

147 Douglas got nothing on me!!

-- James Howard Marshall II, married Anna Nicole Smith in 1994.

He was 89; she was 26.
Posted by: Tonypete at May 13, 2026 10:51 PM (Kyh8Y)

There was a lot going on with that, the legal fight about it went on for years; the case was legendary in Texas legal circles. I suspect the old man did it not just for fun but also to screw with his son. His son was incredibly pissed off about this and sued the old man to try to stop it. He made it clear that he just wanted the old man to go to a nursing home and sit in a corner til he died, which makes me feel a lot more sympathetic towards the old man who wanted to buy himself a big boobied stripper.

This case went on so long that the old man died, and then Nicole died, and just when he was about to win the son died of a heart attack. (Reminiscent of Bleak House; everyone who began the case was dead by the time it ended)

The heir to the estate ended up being a 2 year old infant child of Anna Nicole. I imagine the managers of it have been living the high life for the 19 years since.

148 The Shake Weight

m.youtube.com/watch?v=62-TYluYIiw

IYKYK

149 Need to patch a hole in your leather couch, jacket, or skirt and color match as well?
Posted by: Count de Monetl
......

No but I'm going to Bedazzle them.

150 I just wanted to give my compliments to the chef for including the Mike Rowe and Jon LaJoie videos. I still sing Everyday Normal Guy to myself every so often.

151 108 William O. Douglas was a despicable person. FDR was considering him for VP in 1944. God was looking out for the US when Truman was chosen instead.
...
He was old and sour at the end and I think FDR dangled that VP slot to a lot of folks but really liked his current VP at the time, Wallace the commie symp, for VP as did Eleanor....


This is but nothing in comparison with what is happening now... in California among the LIB BASSholes, and firestarting BASStards -- the fact that the polls could even be close is reason enough for Federal Oversite of the election counts. and that needs to be started now.

CA/FIFA-2026, the unexpected disaster that only a failure of imagination could overlook being staged to make Bass the hero she never was, and doesn't deserve to be.

LIB's believe they can fake reality, just as they would fake the character of their own Candidats. Watch as it unfolds.

Trump needs to redeploy the national guard to sweep the streets if Homeland Security constraints can't (and won't) be met.... tikTok.

LET'S GO BRANDON.
https://tinyurl.com/forWARd-PutASmileOnThatFace
https://tinyurl.com/forWARd-signedSCHWARTZWALD
https://tinyurl.com/forWARd-WotHapToAmericanDream

152 Well, I’m glad Mr. Phillips had flat feet.

153 Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton made an infomercial for a kitchen implement. Didn't go well.

Can it core a apple?

154 150 I just wanted to give my compliments to the chef for including the Mike Rowe and Jon LaJoie videos. I still sing Everyday Normal Guy to myself every so often.
Posted by: Nerd Herd at May 13, 2026 11:21 PM
***
You're welcome!

155 Always best to wait a tick.

>>@jsolomonReports
·
6m
>>Breaking: DNI denies reports CIA 'raided' Tulsi Gabbard's office to seize documents related to JFK, MK Ultra

156 153 Did Ed Norton not address the ball?

157 oh man, Roadside Picnic. Starring the most Russian rednecks Iowa ever produced.
Posted by: gKWVE at May 13, 2026 10:26 PM (gKWVE)

You mean Stalker? Possibly the most radioactive movie ever filmed?

158 I was playing air drums to Rush in my car, but a drumstick flew out the window. I had to switch to Def Leppard.
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 13, 2026 11:01 PM (qx7Zg


Speaking of...

If I yawn in the presence of a deaf person, do they think I'm screaming?

159 No, I don't know what "juliennes" means.
-

Went to a very nice restaurant with Mrs. BD here in Jerusalem the other night. My tuna steak was served with an unusual side of julienne fried potatoes.

Now, I haven't eaten potato sticks for decades. But the packaged ones aren't hot out of the deep fryer like these. Surprisingly yummy and fun to eat!

160 Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 13, 2026 11:18 PM (wzUl9)

Terra Haute in Indiana or is there one in Kansas? If you're looking to duck snow, Kansas is probably your better bet.

161 Cute singer. Has some pipes.

https://youtu.be/DKXp5uw_YZ8

And has 300K views. Way more popular than most of what I listen to.....

162 Here at Villa Gorilla, the wind finally let up. It had been roaring since noon, with some 50+ mph gusts. I have some tree limbs to pick up off the lawn tomorrow.

163 Hell of a comeback by the Avs. MacKinnon's shot into a two inch window to tie it. Team of destiny.

Minnesota is a good team, but not their year.

164 I grew up in Chicago in the 1950s and 60s, and there the best-known pitchman was Lynn Burton. He worked a lot on live TV in the 1950s. Legend has it that once when he was demoing a wringer-washer, the wringer caught hold of his tie and started reeling him in. Professional that he was, he kept the spiel going while groping for the wringer's release, and triggering it just before the wringer broke his neck. Anyone who watched late-night TV in Chicago in that era will remember his pitches for Bert Weinman Ford - "3535 NORTH on Ashland Avenue!" One of the greats!

165 155 Always best to wait a tick.

tikTok. the MI6E run up the clock.

166 159 How do potato sticks differ from fries?

167 If I yawn in the presence of a deaf person, do they think I'm screaming?
Posted by: Diogenes

Unless you're in the Swiss alps, then they think you're yodeling.

Relevant:

https://youtu.be/OGkA8Eh1-Po?t=36

168 Kobe's, Shoe String Potatoes

169 166 159 How do potato sticks differ from fries?
Posted by: Bulg at May 13, 2026 11:35 PM (77rzZ)

---------

Picture fish sticks, but made out of potatoes.

170 “How do you think I feel? I have to live with her!”
FDR, to Hoover, after he explained the latest surveillance peccadillos about Eleanor.
Posted by: Common Tater at May 13, 2026 11:09 PM (vxZFu)

After reading about FDR's bout of non-typical polio myelitis after his failed campaign for Cox' VP in 1920, I have come to the conclusion that Eleanor tried to poison him with Arsenic over him taking yet another mistress

171 Hell of a comeback by the Avs. MacKinnon's shot into a two inch window to tie it. Team of destiny.

Minnesota is a good team, but not their year.

Posted by: muldoon at May 13, 2026 11:34 PM (I0N4X)

The Wild only had to get through three more minutes with a 3-1 lead and then it would be back to MN for game 6, but nope. Lousy way to get sent to the golf course.

172 It took FDR's chief of staff Leahy, his chief military advisor Pa Watson, and his chief political advisor Byrnes along with key members of Congressional leadership to push off Wallace and replace him with Truman.
Posted by: whig at May 13, 2026 11:01 PM (E4rtv)

Interesting. What was the reason? Was Wallace his VP for the other three terms?

173 How do potato sticks differ from fries?
Posted by: Bulg at May 13, 2026 11:35 PM (77rzZ)

They are sticky

174 Here at Villa Gorilla, the wind finally let up. It had been roaring since noon, with some 50+ mph gusts. I have some tree limbs to pick up off the lawn tomorrow.
Posted by: Idaho Spudboy

Been blowin' like a banshee here, too. Forecast says breezy next couple days as well but not quite as harsh. Glad it's cooler, though. Yesterday was 90ish! Too early for that noise...

175 Holy cow! What an excellent ONT!

176 George Foreman was one of those rare dudes who had more success after retiring from boxing. Seemed like a really likable guy, didn't suffer like Ali, $hitload$ of $ from his grill. Great smile. A champ til the end.

177 This case went on so long that the old man died, and then Nicole died, and just when he was about to win the son died of a heart attack. (Reminiscent of Bleak House; everyone who began the case was dead by the time it ended)

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 13, 2026 11:19 PM (AnnNE)

(puts Bleak House back on the shelf, unread)

178 Walked out on the porch this evening, heard a coyote howl. First time in at least a year. Close by too. Also had a neighbor report an agressive bear yesterday. Tom turkeys have been strutting their stuff. Springtime.

179 Weren't Corn Flakes invented to lower testosterone? Kelloggs wanted dudes on low protein, high carb diets.

180 Late BF kept a Pocket Fisherman behind the seat of his Ranchero.. never knew when there might be an opportunity to go fishin' at lunchtime from the job! (and he didn't always have a proper license, so discretion was key)

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Massive Report Details the Apocalyptic Evil of the October 7 Massacre -- as the NYT Hides That Reporting to Push Absurd Hamas Propaganda About Israel Training Dogs to Rape Palestinian Terrorist Prisoners

And the Times rushed that article out -- as opinion, not news, because they couldn't confirm any of the absurd claims in the Hamas propaganda discharge -- to blunt the impact of report about real warcrimes and nihilistic murder-cult depravity.

Among the mutilated and butchered bodies of young women slaughtered on October 7, it was their colourful, polished nails that many of the morgue staff remember.

Bright, beautiful, shiny, pink manicures glistening amid the pervasive 'grey and green' of death were often the only reminder of who these girls had been just hours earlier.

Because Hamas-led terrorists had not just executed these women. They had 'deliberately and systematically' defiled them, as the most comprehensive account of the atrocity released by The Civil Commission today shows.

The terrorists shot their eyes, their faces and their breasts, and even targeted their most intimate parts, to destroy their beauty and rob their loved ones of a final goodbye.

Women were stripped, bound, stabbed, shot and burned. They were executed both during and after rape amid an orgy of violence in which 1,200 people were killed and 250 taken hostage.

Heads were decapitated. Pelvic bones shattered. Even after death, sexual assault continued.

A grotesque, medieval obsession with sexual organs pervaded the crime scenes at the Nova Festival and in the Kibbutzim near Gaza.

At Kibbutz Be'eri, nails, sharp objects, and pieces of metal and plastic were similarly embedded in a woman whose body was discovered naked and bound. On another victim, grenades were used.

While ordinarily newspapers censor the full horrors of such accounts, today, as hard as it is, over 430 witnesses, survivors, experts and medical staff ask that you do not look away.

For over two years they have given evidence to The Civil Commission, an independent Israeli women's rights NGO established in the wake of October 7, 2023, in response to the failure of international institutions to address the sexual violence committed that day.

The Daily Mail was the first British newspaper granted advance access to the report, fittingly titled 'Silenced No More', which is released today.

It shows it was not just women who were degraded as a 'deliberate tool of terror, humiliation, and control'. Men were also sexually abused and in at least one case gang raped.

Victims were mutilated, with body parts cut off used to create depraved scenes gleefully concocted to traumatise those who discovered them.

'The purpose was humiliation, not victory,' first responder Eran Masas, who came across one such barbaric arrangement, told The Civil Commission.

...

One dead woman was 'completely without clothes, missing an arm, shot in the head.' He found his sister alive beneath bodies in a shelter.

Eden Wessely, driving to rescue a friend, found the body of a woman in a black dress who appeared to have been raped beside her husband.

'Half of her face was burned, half wasn't,' she said of footage she passed to The Civil Commission. 'She had a bullet in her cheek, and she was frozen in that position.'

Read the whole thing, if you can. There are additional stories of family members forced at gunpoint to perform sexual acts on each other, for the humiliation and depraved evil of it.

Because this story was coming out, it fell to one of the NYT's many terrorist mouthpieces to launder the propganda claims of the Hamas terrorist organization into print in a formerly "respectable" and formerly western outlet.

David Harsanyi:

Like many leftists living in social media bubbles, New York Times op-ed columnist Nicholas Kristof is obsessed with Israel. And because he has a risible understanding of the Middle East, he's also highly susceptible to believing unhinged conspiracies aimed at the country.

This week, however, in a pseudo-journalistic piece headlined "The Silence That Meets the Rape of Palestinians," the columnist excavates conspiracies so unhinged that no marginally reputable media outlet has ever touched them. Even the New York Times relegates it to its op-ed section, since the piece breaks every rule of objective journalism. But even columnists have an obligation to abide by the basic standards of evidence. Kristof does not.

Kristof tells the story of an unnamed 23-year-old Palestinian woman who contends she was arrested after Oct. 7, strip-searched, mocked, tied up, beaten, and then molested and likely raped by Israelis. The Israelis, the woman tells Kristof, wanted to "crush her spirit," a curiously political statement for an alleged rape victim.

In any event, Kristof not only fails to provide the woman's name, but he offers no other witness, no complaint, no medical evidence from an Arab doctor, no photos of bruises, nothing but the accusation. Did the columnist ever verify that the woman had been detained? Because Kristof doesn't tell us in which prison this woman was purportedly held, or why she was arrested, or even when. Any competent journalist would have heard blaring sirens when a story leaves out any detail that could be used to launch a genuine investigation. It's difficult to believe that's an accident. Yet, Kristof treats all the allegations as fact.

Then again, even the named sources Kristof relies on are highly problematic.

Sami Sai, an introspective "freelance journalist" according to Kristof, is actually a Palestinian activist who publicly celebrated on Oct 7. Sai, who has been arrested numerous times for violent incitement, has an evolving story about allegedly being raped.

Another "source" is longtime Palestinian activist and media favorite Issa Amro, who also has an ever-changing story about his time in an Israeli prison. In a 2024 Washington Post piece, for example, Amro very specifically claimed that he was threatened with sexual assault while in Israeli detention. In Kristof's column, he has morphed into a victim of rape.

But Kristof's most cartoonishly evil accusation contends that the Israelis use trained dogs to rape Palestinian prisoners. This hoax is the favorite of online antisemitic podcaster types. Not only has there never been a shred of evidence that this has happened, but it's also probably "biologically and cognitively unfeasible" for humans to train dogs to rape people.

The dog rape claim originates with the EuroMed Human Rights Monitor, a pro-Hamas Qatari-based group. It was spread by, among other shady types, conspiracy theorist Shaiel Ben-Ephraim, a former postdoctoral fellow at UCLA who was forced to leave the school after sexual-harassment allegations involving minors.

Palestinians have spent over 70 years pulling hoaxes on gullible Westerners to gain sympathy. Anyone who's followed the Middle East situation for more than five minutes is aware that Israel's enemies are constantly making up ludicrous claims about trained animals. Israelis are apparently the greatest animal trainers in history. The country has been accused of deploying sharks, rats, lizards, cows, dolphins, hawks, and pigs by its enemies. The only difference here is that a Western journalist was credulous or despicable enough to spread the conspiracy.

People pointed out that no reports of a "dog raping a human being" have ever been filed, anywhere, and that it seems mechanically impossible for a dog to accomplish this.

Kristof rebutted that his Palestinian sources had provided him with "medical journals" discussing accounts of dog rape.

But he didn't read those journals, of course.

Because they were reporting human violations of dogs, not dogs' violations of humans.

Tomatoh, tamatoh, right?

I wonder what the relative stats for rapes are as between Jews and Muslims.

No I don't. I know.