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Oh Dear Sweet Practical Joking Lord: Gore Effect Strikes Copenhagen Like Frigid Clock; Blizzard Dumps Snow on City

As you probably know, I do not believe in God (nor disbelieve, particularly), as His existence cannot be proven.

Well...

World leaders flying into Copenhagen today to discuss a solution to global warming will first face freezing weather as a blizzard dumped 10 centimeters (4 inches) of snow on the Danish capital overnight.

“Temperatures will stay low at least the next three days,” Henning Gisseloe, an official at Denmark’s Meteorological Institute, said today by telephone, forecasting more snow in coming days. “There’s a good chance of a white Christmas.”

...

Denmark has a maritime climate and milder winters than its Scandinavian neighbors. It hasn’t had a white Christmas for 14 years, under the DMI’s definition, and only had seven last century. Temperatures today fell as low as minus 4 Celsius (25 Fahrenheit).

Are you kidding me?

This is something like an argument about the existence of God in the Hitchhiker's Guide -- proving God doesn't exist.

With some alterations...

The pratical upshot of all this is that is that wherever Albert Arnold Gore, Junior, chief evangelist for the Cult of the Virgin Gaia, goes, spreading his Gospel of a rapidly-warming earth, the weather suddenly takes an intense turn to the frigid and starts dumping snow on every SUV and private jet in his carbon-throbbing vehicular entourage.

Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindboggingly ironic could happen, and continue happening, and happen and happen and happen and then happen again some more, purely by chance, and without some Divine Hand manipulating the cosmic weather machine, that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

The arguement goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'

'But,' says Man, 'the Gore Effect is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not possibly be a coincidence that this continues happening. It could not possibly happen so many times that meteorologists now forecast the weather half by Doppler radar and half by Gore's travel secretary. It cannot be that everywhere this man moves, the clouds start pouring snow over the landscape like OJ pouring out DNA all over Rockingham. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguements, you don't. QED.'

'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

'Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

Most leading theologians claim that this arguement is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that didn't stop Oolan Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best-selling book Well That About Wraps It Up For God.

Or, as Depeche Mode said:

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find Him laughing ...

Well they're liberals. They would find it sick. I think it's pretty awesome (in a sick, but deservedly so, sort of way).

The Lord works in hilarious ways.

Pascal's Wager: Rand Simberg, in an article last night, was talking up how the left's favorite new argument is a variation of Pascal's Wager.

Pascal said: Look, there is such low cost to believing in God, and the costs of not believing in Him, if He in fact exists, are so high (eternal damnation), that any rational person should just believe as a hedge against eternal calamity.

Simberg noted that this is flawed, because, for example, it could be that some other religion's God is the real God, and by believing in the wrong god, you are condemning yourself.

In other words, Pascal's Wager is wrong because it posits that if there's any chance of calamity, you must take effort to avert it, without considering the possibility that your actions invite a different calamity.

Anyway, this is the left's new argument with global warming; Oh dear, the world could end, so given this possible calamity, even if we don't know it will happen and even if we cannot even calculate the odds of it happening, we must believe, believe in Global Warming for only by the grace of the Virgin Gaia will we be saved.

Note that this is wrong, again, for it doesn't take into account the non-zero possibility we're actually scheduled for a naturally-occurring Ice Age, and that what we really need to do is start pumping out carbon like there's no tomorrow, or else there might not be.

You can't just take some possible thing and say because it's possible we need to take action against it without having some sensible idea of what the odds are -- or what the odds are of inadvertently causing a different calamity by your attempts to avoid the first one.

At any rate, bringing this around to Gore:

If I were him, I really would start thinking about the flaw in Pascal's Wager.

Because it seems to me there is some evidence of a non-zero sort of chance that the Earth sorta hates his puking guts.

Maybe he should stop worrying about what we're doing to the Earth and start worrying what the Earth might do to him if he doesn't stop this nonsense at once.


Timeline: The Gore Effect. It really is -- I mean -- it's uncanny.

It's a little creepy, man. It's like one of those super-dumb premises that Steven King comes up with, almost as if it's a bar bet, something so utterly dumb that you almost giggle at and say Oh that can't possibly be made scary, and then, just to prove that he can, he makes it scary.

Like-- Steven King's The Man in the All-Weather Parka.

Or, I don't know: The Devil's Mittens.


Thanks to Chainsaw Chimp for that.

Why Do They Keep Tempting Fate and Scheduling These Confabs Around Christmas? I hope no one will be offended if I note the early Christian calender scheduled observances around the time of pagan observances, to make conversion an easier transition.

So why do these conferences always seem to happen during Yuletide?

When it makes so much more sense -- and there is less a chance of blizzardry embarrassment -- to schedule them in the summer?

See what I'm getting at here?

Do I believe this?

Nahhhh... Well. Who knows. I'm an agnostic. Who knows what the hell I believe.

I know Steven King's got a new book coming out about a snowman magically animated to life who then goes on a torso-killing spree.

Or he should, at least.


Posted by: Ace at 05:24 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Hey Acey, ever had A Generic Religious Experience?

Posted by: quite googleable at December 17, 2009 05:28 PM (EiH7n)

2 Al Gore, thou hast been punked!

Posted by: God at December 17, 2009 05:29 PM (MMC8r)

3
They'll just blame it on climate change.

And Bush.

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 05:30 PM (5vvtw)

4 God is dead.

Posted by: Nietzche at December 17, 2009 05:30 PM (/4E2O)

5 Actually it's just a prank I cooked up with Andy Kaufman.

Posted by: God at December 17, 2009 05:31 PM (/4E2O)

6 So are you, Nietzche, you git.

Posted by: God at December 17, 2009 05:31 PM (MMC8r)

7 Al is up to his big ass lard butt in snow; hope he doesn't freeze. On the other hand, La Pelosi will be arriving with her palooza posse---may they all shrivel up and snap shut in the snow.

Posted by: Chicken Choker & Corncob Smoker at December 17, 2009 05:31 PM (ktYjH)

8 That's cold, dude.

That is cold.

I wouldn't do that.

Posted by: Satan at December 17, 2009 05:32 PM (/4E2O)

9 we just need to homogenize the temperature gauges in Copenhagen to "hide the decline" in temperatures during this little shindig.

Posted by: the warmists at December 17, 2009 05:32 PM (uJBct)

10 The Lord works in hilarious ways.

Indeed .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 05:32 PM (vKdhq)

11 Don't you mean engorged carbon-throbbing vehicular entourage?
Awesome, by the way!

Posted by: Gunslinger at December 17, 2009 05:32 PM (Zi+FQ)

12 Looks good on you Copraphagen.
Eat it!

Posted by: Speller at December 17, 2009 05:33 PM (7Ldd7)

13 Does anyone know if this has never happened at one of these things? The freezing weather seems to follow these people around.

Posted by: 3rd_Bird at December 17, 2009 05:34 PM (kD1s4)

14 Once again, I have been pushed to be religious much more by the stupidity, depravity and lack of wisdom of the the secular/irreligious than by those more religious than I persuading me; Gore is just a little bit of glittery icing on the cake of secular stupidity.

Paging Mr. G.K. Chesterton. Pagin G.K. Chesterton, please report to Copenhagen...don't forget your gloves...

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 17, 2009 05:34 PM (NPtVh)

15 Didn't the same thing happen last year/earlier this year (can't remember exactly when) when Gore went to DC to some global warming conference? Snow was dumped on DC just he arrived or something.

As I said last night on the ONT, Gore will be whining about global warming even when his house is buried under twelve feet of ice.

Posted by: wherestherum at December 17, 2009 05:35 PM (gofDd)

16 #9, you can hide the decline, but hiding the white stuff is harder--is snow racist?

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 17, 2009 05:35 PM (NPtVh)

17 uh oh,... do I detect hot air syndrome: all conservative discussions will revert to a battle between the religious right and the fiscal conservatives. They will both lose.

Posted by: jcp at December 17, 2009 05:35 PM (DHNp4)

18 Can't you at least recognize it as a Festivus miracle, Ace?

Posted by: andycanuck at December 17, 2009 05:37 PM (2qU2d)

19 Didn't the New York Times declare that God Was Dead on a headline once?


Then they told Virginia there really was a Santa Clause..
(nope, that was the NY Sun.. nevermind)

So much for their record.

Posted by: Dave C at December 17, 2009 05:37 PM (qmecx)

20 You know that game The Sims? That's pretty much the truth of the universe. I'm actually impressed that some of you figured out how to make a smaller version for yourselves.

Now dance for me, and talk in those silly gibberish voices I gave you! It's very amusing and enjoyable for me.

And then I'm going to seal some of you up in brick enclosures, not out of any real malice. Just because.

Posted by: God at December 17, 2009 05:38 PM (BlBnA)

21 Good one Paris, 'is snow racist'.

And Zappa said onto them, 'Let it snow yellow snow.'

Posted by: quite googleable at December 17, 2009 05:38 PM (EiH7n)

22
pwned!!!1

Posted by: Mother Nature at December 17, 2009 05:39 PM (+9Rf8)

23 17 uh oh,... do I detect hot air syndrome: all conservative discussions will revert to a battle between the religious right and the fiscal conservatives. They will both lose.

look over there, it's a chicken!

Posted by: The Great Satan's Ghost at December 17, 2009 05:39 PM (WX2SC)

24 You think this is funny? It's serial. It's super serial.

Posted by: Manbearpig at December 17, 2009 05:39 PM (YCVBL)

25 Amen, Brother Ace.

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at December 17, 2009 05:40 PM (pLTLS)

26

"The so-called Gore Effect happens when a global warming-related event,
or appearance by the former vice president and climate change crusader,
Al Gore, is marked by exceedingly cold weather or unseasonably winter
weather.



For instance, in March, 2007, a Capitol Hill media briefing on the Senate’s new climate bill was cancelled due to a snowstorm.



On Oct. 22, Gore’s global warming speech at Harvard University
coincided with near 125-year record-breaking low temperatures. And less
than a week later, on Oct. 28, the British House of Commons held a
marathon debate on global warming during London’s first October
snowfall since 1922."
-From a 2008 article in Politico

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 05:40 PM (Yv052)

27 uh oh,... do I detect hot air syndrome: all conservative discussions will revert to a battle between the religious right and the fiscal conservatives. They will both lose.
Posted by: jcp at December 17, 2009 05:35 PM (DHNp4)
Is that you Bob the Concerned Fiscal Conservative? We are just having a little fun at the expense of Al Gore: Prophet of Doom.
Don't go all Charles Johnson just because somebody mentioned God.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth (now with 100% more smugness!) at December 17, 2009 05:42 PM (wgLRl)

28 I don't want to start
Any blasphemous rumours
But I think that God's got
a sick sense of humour
And when I die
I expect to find an Ice Age

Posted by: Depeche Gore at December 17, 2009 05:42 PM (MT+0i)

29 Duh. This phenomena shows just how stupid these warming cultists are. If they had any damned sense they'd be holding these big global confabs in July and August.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth (now with 100% more smugness!) at December 17, 2009 05:43 PM (wgLRl)

30 Four inches and they're whining?...pussies.

Posted by: Ron Jeremy at December 17, 2009 05:43 PM (Tq7Eu)

31 Gaia wept.

Posted by: drillanwr at December 17, 2009 05:43 PM (GkYyh)

32 Did I just get queerbaited? I was power-waiting for a "Martin L. Gore effect" joke that never unloaded.

Posted by: oblig. at December 17, 2009 05:44 PM (PCLHi)

33 Once is a unique occurrence, twice is a coincidence.


3 or more times? That's a pattern.


Personally, I think God is sending the blizzards in a way to say "Silly humans thinking you could wreck my creation. Have some snow. After all, I'm still driving this thing."

Posted by: Naqamel at December 17, 2009 05:44 PM (UMwMT)

34 >>>Didn't the same thing happen last year/earlier this year (can't remember exactly when) when Gore went to DC to some global warming conference? Snow was dumped on DC just he arrived or something.

It always happens. The man walks in a shroud of virgin snow.

I'm sort of wondering why these idiots don't at least change these conferences to spring and summer only.

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 05:44 PM (/4E2O)

35 If Obama actually shows up in Copenhagen and tries to save it with a fucking speech (maybe as silly as the one that ass George Monbiot has helpfully written for him!), then he can claim the title of King of Clowns.

To fly into the snow in the wake of Chavez's speech and the "shambles" that Monbiot himself admits is now the state of COP15 and try to save this colossal joke will earn him a special page of disgrace in the history books.

He and his followers think that he came along at just the right time. Heh, he did. "This is your world on leftism. Any questions?"

Posted by: arhooley at December 17, 2009 05:44 PM (GKXA7)

36 Hey Fat Al,
Man doesn't affect or control the climate, I do!
Sincerely,

Posted by: God at December 17, 2009 05:45 PM (Vu6sl)

37 Get your carbon credits...carbon credits for sale cheap!

Posted by: Your own personal Al Gore at December 17, 2009 05:45 PM (Tq7Eu)

38 15
Didn't the same thing happen last year/earlier this year (can't
remember exactly when) when Gore went to DC to some global warming
conference? Snow was dumped on DC just he arrived or something.

Ah yeah, think it was sometime this past Spring...a nice icy/snowy wintry mix dropped here just as the AssGore was to begin his bloviations. Awesome. God laughs.

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at December 17, 2009 05:45 PM (pLTLS)

39 all conservative discussions will revert to a battle between the
religious right and the fiscal conservatives. They will both lose.

Funny, sounds like they're pretty much one-and-the-same to me. It's like predicting a fight between the Secular Left and fiscal liberals.

Posted by: God at December 17, 2009 05:45 PM (MMC8r)

40 Once is happenstance.
Twice is coincidence.
Three times is enemy action.


Who's a bigger enemy to these jagoffs than God?

Posted by: Auric Gorefinger at December 17, 2009 05:46 PM (0NBNO)

41 God does exist - and your salvation is awaiting you. He asks only that you believe for life eternal...

Posted by: Joy to the whirled at December 17, 2009 05:46 PM (WVBjj)

42 55 degrees 40 minutes 34 seconds north, mid December.

25 fahrenheit isn't cold, kids.

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2009 05:47 PM (4Kl5M)

43 My God is an awesome God.

Posted by: baldilocks at December 17, 2009 05:47 PM (QkG/C)

44 Seriously -- are you guys sure you wouldn't rather worship me?

Because the guy you're worshipping seems like really, really snarky and stuff. Kind of all into "oooh, burn!"

I promise I will only kill you and bathe in your blood before the Children of Babylon.

Posted by: Gozer The Destroyer at December 17, 2009 05:48 PM (/4E2O)

45 Is Michelle supposed to go to Copenhagen with Barry? It's perfect weather for the Ice Queen.

Posted by: loppyd at December 17, 2009 05:48 PM (UJIeT)

46
At any rate, bringing this around to Gore:
If I were him, I really would start thinking about the flaw in Pascal's Wager.
You're giving that illiterate tub of shit way too much credit by assuming he understands it in the first place.

Posted by: Captain Hate at December 17, 2009 05:49 PM (2Uu3I)

47 If I was trying to make a point for global warming, I would hold conferences in the summer... like the middle of summer.... in Ecuador.

Posted by: ace - tom ace at December 17, 2009 05:49 PM (ldoxy)

48 Hey - if Al Gore was entering you wouldn't you get all frigid too?

I thought so.

Posted by: Copenhagen and other snowed-on cities at December 17, 2009 05:49 PM (92zkk)

49 "Carbon-throbbing vehicular entourage."
I can't wait until I get a chance to use that one.

Posted by: Max Entropy at December 17, 2009 05:49 PM (uuZjB)

50 #16

That white stuff just serves as an insulating blanket making the earth even more feverish;-)

Posted by: the warmists at December 17, 2009 05:51 PM (uJBct)

51 A nice timeline of the Gore Effect: http://tinyurl.com/yerbuhe

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at December 17, 2009 05:51 PM (pLTLS)

52 -
Completely unrelated, but M'chelle Obama is making a special guest appearance on Iron Chef America.

Yes, you read that right.

FLOTUS on Iron Chef America.

.... no word on the secret ingredient.

Posted by: ace's post-ejaculatory epiphany at December 17, 2009 05:51 PM (ruzrP)

53 Isn't it obvious? Al Gore IS the solution to global warming. He is the True Messiah (sorry, Zero) and should be transported to hotspots around the planet, bringing relief.

"He was escorted via SUV for our sins..."

Thanks, Magical Al!

Posted by: t-bird at December 17, 2009 05:51 PM (FcR7P)

54 I have always maintained that Mother Earth does this to him because she is pissed off that he is constantly spreading lies about her.

Posted by: the real joe at December 17, 2009 05:51 PM (SUYSs)

55 "God does exist - and your salvation is awaiting you. He asks only that you believe for life eternal..."

Indeed I do exist. I also ask that I be allowed to eat my waffles in peace, that David Brooks would stop staring at my pant crease with that... flamboyant looking face of his. I'd also appreciate it if Chris Matthews didn't peep through my bathroom window when I shower. And keep his hands off Michelle's Vaseline canisters while he's at it.

Posted by: Barry O at December 17, 2009 05:51 PM (i/orG)

56 If I really want to show a sense of humor and great irony, I may just make it snow hard enough that the airport has to close due to runway conditions, thus impacting Air Farce Won's ability to land.

Posted by: God at December 17, 2009 05:52 PM (Vu6sl)

57 Hey - if Al Gore was entering you wouldn't you get all frigid too?I thought so.

Posted by: Copenhagen and other snowed-on cities at December 17, 2009 05:49 PM (92zkk)I'll get back to you on that after I check the local radio station's playlist for obscene lyrics.

Posted by: Tipper aka Mrs ManBearPig at December 17, 2009 05:52 PM (2Uu3I)

58 I think Gore's gravitational pull is the problem.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 05:52 PM (mGSN1)

59 And the Lord's not done with Obama. There's a huge nor'easter that's going to hit D.C. this weekend - just in time for Obama, Pelosi and company to return home from Copenhagen.

http://bit.ly/5Fbcgy

Posted by: Rick Moore at December 17, 2009 05:53 PM (u/Kce)

60 The God I don't believe in is a kind God, not one that would torment poor liberals.

Posted by: jcp at December 17, 2009 05:53 PM (DHNp4)

61 I am thrilled and honored to do the Lord's work in hating this fatboy's ever-loving guts. Which there are a lot of.

Posted by: Winston Smith at December 17, 2009 05:54 PM (BFqyO)

62 Beck says FF are asking for an 800 billion bailout BEFORE the end of the year.

Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2009 05:54 PM (CDUiN)

63 Simberg noted that this is flawed, because, for example, it could be
that some other religion's God is the real God, and by believing in the
wrong god, you are condemning yourself.

Go with Christo. You'll be down with The Father, Yahweh won't mind, Allah is cool with it, Buddha will give you another ride on the wheel, Odin All-Father is a softy,Yum Cimil sends you hell no matter what, and Vishnu doesn't give a damn.

JC: the safe bet.

Posted by: toby928 at December 17, 2009 05:54 PM (PD1tk)

64 Three day before Jim Hanson went to Houston to promote his Global Warming book, Houston had its earliest snowstorm eveh.

Posted by: tmitss at December 17, 2009 05:56 PM (V4Pya)

65 I'm sort of wondering why these idiots don't at least change these conferences to spring and summer only.

It'd be really funny if it snowed in the middle of summer if they did so.

And then lead to mass panic like The Day After Tomorrow. But the irony would almost be worth it.

Posted by: wherestherum at December 17, 2009 05:57 PM (gofDd)

66 I did because Sarah Palin asked me to. I can't help it, I just love that woman.

Posted by: God at December 17, 2009 05:57 PM (Zz0oZ)

67 You're assuming that this will faze the warmmongers. All these record low temperatures PROVE that warming is occuring.


Because shut up, is why! Science! Consensus!

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 17, 2009 05:57 PM (vKbpX)

68 I was just think he might have stopped over here in Oslo before going home - it's about -12 Celsius right now, which is like a B+ in Farenheit.

Posted by: Rumpertumskin at December 17, 2009 05:57 PM (DtwQq)

69 Ace,

I've had to decloak twice in two days!

Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.

B+

For accuracy.

Just sayin'.

I now return to my regularly scheduled life.

Posted by: MeTooThen at December 17, 2009 05:57 PM (SLT7f)

70 #42, Rome is about on the latitude of NYC; Paris is above Montreal, and London and Amsterdam even higher; Copenhagen isn't that much below the southern part of Alaska. And yet it doesn't snow more than a trace in Paris, or Amsterdam because of the Gulf Stream (thank you, Florida!).

So, four inches of snow there isn't nothing.

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 17, 2009 05:57 PM (NPtVh)

71 The only weather of note is what's going on inside of Gore's skull. His thoughts are all clouded and foggy.
What a piss poor excuse for a human being. And this fucker used to be Vice President of the United States? Sheesh.

Posted by: LGoPs at December 17, 2009 05:58 PM (tm/sN)

72 Choose wisely. I've been known to hold a grudge.

Posted by: Huitzilopochtli at December 17, 2009 05:58 PM (QKKT0)

73 #66, Right On! Palin is an Omen that the lefties are about to be punished for their climate change depravity! I LOL.

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 17, 2009 05:59 PM (NPtVh)

74 @17 That would be too bad. I left HA because of AP's "red meat" atheism and I'm not even an effin' church goer. Where would I go next, dammit? I'm just a little ol' tea partier type who appreciates my non-anthromorphic underlying orderer of all,and I don't give a flip what anyone else wants to call theirs. But I do mind blogger-blowhards A. telling me over and over there is none and/or B. if I call it God, that I have to prove it exists.

Posted by: Traci at December 17, 2009 05:59 PM (M2h0L)

75 He's left Copehagen right?

Cause the weather does go bad until he leaves.

Posted by: David in San Diego at December 17, 2009 05:59 PM (ncWYG)

76 No italics?

Posted by: marmo at December 17, 2009 06:00 PM (wpuKF)

77 It isn't that I care about lowering carbon, or the masses who will starve to death. It is that these puny mortals think they can control me. Suck it, bitches.

Posted by: Gaia's Cooch at December 17, 2009 06:00 PM (dQdrY)

78 "You're assuming that this will faze the warmmongers. All these record low temperatures PROVE that warming is occuring.








Because shut up, is why! Science! Consensus!

Posted by: Empire of Jeff"

this is exactly what's going to happen.

We're obviously having a serious decline in temperature. There's a ton of money involved in this 'we're all gonna die' thing, and Global Warming is just not scary anymore.

They already got their foot in the door to regulate our lives with the EPA, so this is a matter of degree. We're already being ripped off and screwed over.

Posted by: Jeff Goldstein kicked my ass and took my lunch money at December 17, 2009 06:00 PM (uLHPW)

79 Mother Gaia calls this "Giving Mr. Gore the 'Chilly Fist.'"

Posted by: Sharkman at December 17, 2009 06:01 PM (FSJsw)

80 That's doesn't go bad.

Posted by: David in San Diego at December 17, 2009 06:01 PM (ncWYG)

81 I expect a snarky Sarah Palin FB post about the snows there....LOL

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 17, 2009 06:01 PM (NPtVh)

82 Well, That about Wraps It Up for God Gore.

Posted by: Oolon Colluphid at December 17, 2009 06:01 PM (+z8Ps)

83 Actually, Gov. Palin can do a FB post that includes the snow, and the Russian climategate article she can see from her computer....

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 17, 2009 06:04 PM (NPtVh)

84 The "precautionary principle," in effect Pascal's Wager for the environment, has always been a central theme in the environmental movement. It brings back bad memories for me from endless crap I had to read up on it for a particular prof in law school.

Posted by: brak at December 17, 2009 06:04 PM (W5NBA)

85 47
If I was trying to make a point for global warming, I would hold
conferences in the summer... like the middle of summer.... in Ecuador.

Posted by: ace - tom ace at December 17, 2009 05:49 PM (ldoxy)



These people are so stupid that they probably would go to Ecuador in August (think about it).

Posted by: baldilocks at December 17, 2009 06:04 PM (QkG/C)

86 The Snows of KillaManGoro.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 06:05 PM (dQdrY)

87 Beck says FF are asking for an 800 billion bailout BEFORE the end of the year.

Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2009 05:54 PM (CDUiN)



Dude, that's chump change. Actually, it's date-night tip money, or barely enough to take a few snapshots from Air Force One.

Posted by: Barack (Don't call me Barry) Obama at December 17, 2009 06:05 PM (BFqyO)

88 Maybe Al asked Tipper for sex last night and--- huh?
That's right, the IceWitch Hillary RC blew into town. Ahhhh.

Posted by: drillanwr at December 17, 2009 06:05 PM (GkYyh)

89 70

I realize that Europe's climate is moderated by the Gulf Stream, but bring a jacket, people!

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2009 06:06 PM (4Kl5M)

90 If I was trying to make a point for global warming,
I would hold conferences in the summer... like the middle of summer....
in Ecuador.

Posted by: ace - tom ace at December 17, 2009 05:49 PM (ldoxy)
Hey, I tried DC in the middle of summer with the AC off - what more do you want? Its not my fault the UN is made up of a bunch of idiots.

Posted by: James Hansen at December 17, 2009 06:06 PM (7BU4a)

91 Gore is such a sweat pump, his pits probably change the local humidity and cause precipitaion.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 06:06 PM (dQdrY)

92 Another good bit would be the rain god from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.
He was a truckdriver. All he knew was that it was always raining. All the clouds knew was they wanted to make him wet. He was eventually able to hire himself out to resorts; they would pay him to stay away.

Posted by: Anachronda at December 17, 2009 06:06 PM (1OYcp)

93 Any engineers out there?
I went to a focus group today for an unnamed grocery store. They were selecting the right way to word that they bought local produce, were major employers in the community, had their own line of natural and organic food, and had large local charitable contributions. The one that bugged me was that they were going to say that pilot stores had alternative energy sources like solar and other renewable sources. Other renewable? What would that be I asked? Windmills? Not here. Batteries were suggested. I suggested that batteries were not environmentally superior to regular electricity and I was shot down. What other renewable energy is available for places like a grocery store. Hydrogen? Hydrogen what??? I'm either stupid on this topic or they are trying to spin me.
Al Gore was probably behind the glass because it was really cold here today.

Posted by: Dagny at December 17, 2009 06:11 PM (s+PQ2)

94 Once again, I have been pushed to be religious much more by the stupidity, depravity and lack of wisdom of the the
secular/irreligious than by those more religious than I persuading me;
Gore is just a little bit of glittery icing on the cake of secular
stupidity.Paging Mr. G.K. Chesterton. Pagin G.K. Chesterton, please report to Copenhagen...don't forget your gloves...

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 17, 2009 05:34 PM (NPtVh)
The secular left has claimed the most important reason to fear the religious right is that they want to restrict your "health care options".
The secular left got their dream candidate elected, and now their primary goal is to regulate your health care options.
Mr Obama - keep your laws off my body.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 17, 2009 06:11 PM (7BU4a)

95 Another good bit would be the rain god from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.

Did you...glue me to the floor?!?!?

Posted by: Thor, disgruntled god of thunder at December 17, 2009 06:11 PM (4Kl5M)

96 As usual, Ramirez had a good take:


http://bit.ly/6vzozT

Posted by: Winston Smith at December 17, 2009 06:11 PM (BFqyO)

97 I promise I will only kill you and bathe in your blood before the Children of Babylon.

Posted by: Gozer The Destroyer

One the hand, that gate master gig looks pretty nice, but on the other, I'm not a big fan of roasted Shuv or Zuul.

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 06:12 PM (t19oz)

98
How 'bout a thread where we make up porn titles for global warmers?



For instance: Inter-racial Homogenizing Midgets XXI



Or...Barely 18 Thermometers?



2Scientists1Smallroomforallthetemperaturedata

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 06:12 PM (5vvtw)

99 Simberg noted that this is flawed, because, for example, it could be that some other religion's God is the real God, and by believing in the wrong god, you are condemning yourself.
My personal theory is that God is a giant space cockroach.
Consider that there are two types of evil: natural evil (earthquakes and such) and manmade evil. Cockroaches are known to be able to survive about anything, so they're not affected by natural evil. And they're simple enough that they cannot themselves cause evil. Clearly, they are the divine species.
So, why does man exist? Easy: our divine mission is to take the divine cockroach to the stars, so it may fill the entire universe. Bigelow Aerospace has already started us on this journey; the cargo for their prototype inflatable space hotel was a colony of Madagascar hissing cockroaches.

Posted by: Anachronda at December 17, 2009 06:15 PM (1OYcp)

100 How 'bout a thread where we make up porn titles for global warmers?

Oh, Albert! You make me so hot!

Posted by: Terra Baker at December 17, 2009 06:16 PM (4Kl5M)

101 Yeah, this is all hilarious and stuff but you know what, Football. Tonight. Undefeated Indy, coming in as a 3 point favorite against the 7-6 Jaguars.

Lord, I love the eggball game.

Posted by: toby928 at December 17, 2009 06:16 PM (PD1tk)

102 My personal theory is that God is a giant space cockroach.

I'm not falling for that again.

Posted by: survivor of Golgafrincham Ark 'B' at December 17, 2009 06:17 PM (4Kl5M)

103 You know, Ace, for a guy that's going to spend Eternity with a flaming rotisserie stuck up your rotating butt, you're pretty funny.

I keed, I keed.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 06:18 PM (QECjC)

104 I have been pushed to be religious much more by the stupidity, depravity and lack of wisdom of the the secular/irreligious than by those more religious than I persuading me.
Read the Old Testament. The metaphore there if you want to take it as such is that when the jews acted stupid and depraved bad things happened, man. When they acted correctly, not so much. Jesus says pretty much the same thing. "Love God" (which I used to think meant love but it doesn't) means follow the basic rules of being human. Don't kill, curse, abuse your parents, have random meaningless sex, steal, and rest one day per week. You'll be better off, your family, friends, and neighbors will be better off, and the God who created you won't be pissed off because you were an evil shit. Liberal secularists hate that idea because they are foot stamping 2 year olds who want dessert NOW.

Posted by: Dagny at December 17, 2009 06:18 PM (s+PQ2)

105 Yeah, this is all hilarious and stuff but you know
what, Football. Tonight. Undefeated Indy, coming in as a 3 point
favorite against the 7-6 Jaguars.

Lord, I love the eggball game.


Posted by: toby928 at December 17, 2009 06:16 PM (PD1tk)
if only it wasn't on the NFL channel

Posted by: fartbubble at December 17, 2009 06:18 PM (cBeTr)

106 Hydrogen? Hydrogen what??? I'm either stupid on this topic or they are trying to spin me.
Al Gore was probably behind the glass because it was really cold here today.

Posted by: Dagny at December 17, 2009 06:11 PM (s+PQ2)
Make sure they ban Dihydrogen Monoxide. Every year it is responsible for thousands of deaths and injuries, AND it is one of the most powerful greenhouse gases.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 17, 2009 06:18 PM (7BU4a)

107 How 'bout a thread where we make up porn titles for global warmers?


Hide My Incline

Seamen Rising

Backdoor Greenhouse

Glacial Movement


Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:19 PM (Yv052)

108
CO2 Anal MILFS 5

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 06:20 PM (5vvtw)

109 East Anglia Hos III

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:21 PM (Yv052)

110 Das Blizzard.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 06:22 PM (mGSN1)

111 if only it wasn't on the NFL channel

DirecTV baby. The only thing that stops the game drinking is rain.

Posted by: toby928 at December 17, 2009 06:22 PM (PD1tk)

112 You guys sure started drinking early

Posted by: Dagny at December 17, 2009 06:24 PM (s+PQ2)

113
Cappin the Poles
--Starring... Ice Thickness

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 06:24 PM (5vvtw)

114 And if you sign up now, I get a 100, and you get a 100.

What's not to like?

Posted by: toby928 at December 17, 2009 06:24 PM (PD1tk)

115 Real Amateur Scientists

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:24 PM (Yv052)

116 Steven King's Johnny Ice-Cubes

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:24 PM (/4E2O)

117 Gore suggested the other day the next climate conference be next July in Mexico City. Hedging his bets, I guess.

I hope it snows.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 06:24 PM (DIYmd)

118 Where is that chubby Gore fellah......lemme at 'im! *slobbergruntgrowl*

Posted by: Cujo at December 17, 2009 06:25 PM (92zkk)

119 Steven King's Mercury Falling

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:25 PM (/4E2O)

120 No, a single word or short phrase that is equivalent to the "teabagger" moniker.

Posted by: Dagny at December 17, 2009 06:25 PM (s+PQ2)

121 World leaders flying into Copenhagen today to discuss a solution to global warming will first face freezing weather as a blizzard dumped 10 centimeters (4 inches) of snow on the Danish capital overnight.
Of course, the irony is completely lost on these assclowns.

Posted by: SFC MAC at December 17, 2009 06:25 PM (cuNX0)

122 I'm sort of wondering why these idiots don't at least change these conferences to spring and summer only.

Because it would be even funnier when it snowed then too?

Posted by: Filly at December 17, 2009 06:26 PM (C/yUr)

123 63 Go with Christo.
But I don't want to be wrapped in plastic.

Posted by: Anachronda at December 17, 2009 06:26 PM (1OYcp)

124 "I know Steven King's got a new book coming out about a snowman magically animated to life who then goes on a torso-killing spree."

And always a group of 4 friends since childhood, only one of whom is "special". (and how do you kill a torso?)

Posted by: dfbaskwill at December 17, 2009 06:27 PM (ndlFj)

125 Because it would be even funnier when it snowed then too? Posted by: Filly

Funny ironic, sure. Not funny as in global crop failure.

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 06:27 PM (t19oz)

126

Real Amateur Scientists


Posted by: angler

haha!
that's brilliat

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 06:27 PM (5vvtw)

127 Anyone else having page load problems? Sometimes when I hit refresh the right side column disappears and the "Name E-mail Comments" part disappears too.

Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 06:27 PM (92zkk)

128 Climatologists: Gag n Gape 3 -- The Revenge of the Probes.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 06:28 PM (dQdrY)

129 dfbaskwill,

And one of the friends is a writer, and it either takes place in Bangor, Maine, Derry, Maine, or in Colorado.

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:28 PM (/4E2O)

130 These people know FOR SURE what the world will look like in 5-15 years, but did not have the ability to schedule their climate summit on a day where there wasnt a blizzard? HMMMMM

Posted by: Dan at December 17, 2009 06:29 PM (KZraB)

131 127>>
Anyone else having page load problems?

yes

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 06:29 PM (mGSN1)

132 If they held these things in the summer... the blizzards that God sends would be even harder to explain.

Posted by: malclave at December 17, 2009 06:29 PM (W1Ndc)

133 and the friends have had a secret since childhood they've 1) vowed to never speak of or 2) were so traumatized by they repressed all memory of it.

But now... ONE FRIEND COMMITS SUICIDE, and the others start to... remember...

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:29 PM (/4E2O)

134
Behind The Green Door

wait

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 06:29 PM (5vvtw)

135 Funny ironic, sure. Not funny as in global crop failure.

Haven't you heard? All global crop failure Bush's fault.

Posted by: Filly at December 17, 2009 06:30 PM (C/yUr)

136 The global warming genuflecting jackoffs will tell you, straight faced, that the cold weather including the snow is due to global warming. There is no irony for them. These shitbag zombies are true believers. Everything and anything to due with weather is caused by global warming and ultimately, caused by human beigns.

Posted by: Sparky at December 17, 2009 06:30 PM (mXY2a)

137 @131 Whew - I thought I had been judged and found wanting by the banhammer, or son of banhammer.


Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 06:30 PM (92zkk)

138 Why Do They Keep Tempting Fate and Scheduling These Confabs Around Christmas?
I hope no one will be offended if I note the early Christian calender
scheduled observances around the time of pagan observances, to make
conversion an easier transition.

So why do these conferences always seem to happen during Yuletide?

When it makes so much more sense -- and there is less a chance of blizzardry embarrassment -- to schedule them in the summer?


Umm...maybe because Warmtardism is itself a sort of pagan cult, and they're trying to co-opt Christmastime right back. Or they are just plain fucking stupid, like rats biting the electric cheese over and over again. Take your pick.
They can schedule them for July in the middle of the desert, and the Great Cosmic Jokester will still find a way to dump snow on them.

I believe.

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at December 17, 2009 06:30 PM (pLTLS)

139 Rudolph The Disease-Ridden Reindeer

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 06:31 PM (mGSN1)

140 I believe the term "torso killer" (I don't really know) means a killer who strikes off the limbs and leaves just a torso.

There have been serial killers called like "The Cayuhenga County Torso Murderer."

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:31 PM (/4E2O)

141 Depeche Mode? Good Lord, Ace.

Posted by: vinman at December 17, 2009 06:31 PM (HOYRo)

142 Ya know what would really be terrific is if all those GW advocates FROZE TO DEATH overnight!

Posted by: GarandFan at December 17, 2009 06:32 PM (ZQBnQ)

143 Steven King's

T H E

I C E

D I N G L E B E R R Y

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:32 PM (/4E2O)

144 Admiral Ace: Lord Jeff, your sad devotion to that ancient religion hasn't given you the clairvoyance to conjure up the stolen plans, or the foresight to... AAACCKK!!!

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 17, 2009 06:32 PM (C3QGp)

145 Nopenhagen: Whores on Ice.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 06:33 PM (dQdrY)

146 The Shamming


Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 06:33 PM (mGSN1)

147 Someone here mentioned this a few days ago:

In the late 80’s, Ted Danson, the popular star of the sitcom, ‘Cheers’,
predicted that, due to global warming, the oceans would all be dead in
twenty years, if we failed to act immediately.

It's been nice knowin' you all.

Posted by: GregInSeattle at December 17, 2009 06:33 PM (B5cM9)

148 Ass Bandits II: Gropenhagen

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 06:35 PM (dQdrY)

149 Steven King's

T H E

H A U N T E D

B E E R - C O U Z Y

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:35 PM (/4E2O)

150 It always happens. The man walks in a shroud of virgin snow. I'm sort of wondering why these idiots don't at least change these conferences to spring and summer only.
Because the only thing worse than sub-freezing cold and snowy weather in mid-December is sub-freezing cold and snowyweather in July.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 17, 2009 06:35 PM (plsiE)

151 I forgot. Wasn't Misery about the Gore Effect? Snow storm. Held hostage and lectured to by a fat know-it-all.

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:35 PM (Yv052)

152 Coozy? Whatver, I've only heard it said.

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:35 PM (/4E2O)

153
Al Gore in...

Ass in the Balance

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 06:36 PM (5vvtw)

154 It cannot be that everywhere this man moves, the clouds start pouring snow over the landscape like OJ pouring out DNA all over Rockingham.
This is a nice sentiment, but it suffers from one major problem: Clouds don't exist in any of the super-duper, highly predictive climate models. They just aren't there ... because they don't matter, or something.
Therefore, this snow doesn't exist, and the super-duper climate models have Copenhagen at 22 Celcius, right now.
B+, at least.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 17, 2009 06:36 PM (A46hP)

155 Is it a coincidence that everywhere Obama goes he does something wrong and we all get screwed with more taxes and regulations as a result?

Posted by: Crissy Matthews (hearts Obama!) at December 17, 2009 06:38 PM (hIOnV)

156 I think The Devil's Mittens is the funniest thing I've heard in awhile. I can't stop laughing.

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:38 PM (Yv052)

157 "I know Steven King's got a new book coming out about a snowman magically animated to life who then goes on a torso-killing spree.

Or he should, at least."

Been done: The bizarre "Jack Frost" and its hilariously campy sequel "Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman".

Although that wouldn't rule out Stephen King doing it again, come to think of it. It would almost guarantee it.

Posted by: moviegique at December 17, 2009 06:40 PM (1y5Vr)

158 Ace has a fan in Rusty Shackleford
Well, I guess that's why Ace can loaf around in his pajamas all day blogging while I'm stuck here at work grading finals: that boy can write.

Posted by: beedubya at December 17, 2009 06:40 PM (AnTyA)

159
Steven King's

D E A T H

Z A M B O N I

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:40 PM (/4E2O)

160 The Post II

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 06:41 PM (mGSN1)

161 Why Do They Keep Tempting Fate and Scheduling These Confabs Around Christmas?
I hope no one will be offended if I note the early Christian calender
scheduled observances around the time of pagan observances, to make
conversion an easier transition.

Nope, not insulted at all. Early Catholics needed to celebrate the birth of the Savior. They didn't know the exact day, soooooo, they chose a day close to the winter feast to usurp the festival and make it a permanent Christian holy day. I may be devout, but unlike AGWers I don't ignore facts. Christ, many believe, was born in the summer, OK, knowing the date was arbitrary doesn't diminish my enjoyment of the celebration of the birth of Christ on the 25th of December one bit.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at December 17, 2009 06:41 PM (0q2P7)

162 Backdoor to CRU: Cumshitter Boogaloo

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 17, 2009 06:42 PM (C3QGp)

163 Unproven what-ifs are the bane of agnosticism. Still funny as hell, though. But what a merrier xmas it would be to have a Big Guy on one's side.

Posted by: St. Agnostic at December 17, 2009 06:42 PM (gbCNS)

164 Dihydrogen Monoxide
Caution: Deadly toMoonbats when heated and combined with soap.

Posted by: sherlock at December 17, 2009 06:42 PM (ktKOD)

165 Look. The once pristine virgin, now gutter whore gaia, hates Gore for the same reason I do. He has made me hate poetry forever.
Well, truth be told, I never really liked poetry all that much... limericks, that's what I liked.
But not I even hate those - because of that jackass Gore.
Nantucket is lost to me.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at December 17, 2009 06:42 PM (r1h5M)

166
Steven King's

D O N ' T

F O R G E T

Y O U R

S W E A T E R

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:43 PM (/4E2O)

167 DOOMSLED.

An ancient toboggan, made from wood found at an Indian burial ground, keeps steering hapless kids full-speed into trees across generations.

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2009 06:44 PM (my4+7)

168 Or, as Depeche Mode said:.....

*BLINK*

*BLINK*

Posted by: beedubya at December 17, 2009 06:44 PM (AnTyA)

169 Hockeystick Lickers

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 17, 2009 06:45 PM (C3QGp)

170 Satan's Snowplow

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:45 PM (Yv052)

171 StrangleScarf

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:46 PM (Yv052)

172 Salem's Furnace

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 06:47 PM (mGSN1)

173 The Hardy Boys and the Case of the Lemon-Colored Snow.

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2009 06:47 PM (my4+7)

174 The Stubborn Zipper

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:48 PM (Yv052)

175 Doomsday Does Dallas

Posted by: Winston Smith at December 17, 2009 06:48 PM (BFqyO)

176 SATAN'S COCO

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 06:49 PM (mGSN1)

177 Dean Koontz's Snowblown
Dean Koontz's Outhouse of the Shadow Moon
Dean Koontz's Franken-Fir

(etc., etc.)

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at December 17, 2009 06:49 PM (pLTLS)

178 Denmark has a maritime climate and milder winters than its Scandinavian neighbors. It hasn’t had a white Christmas for 14 years, under the DMI’s definition, and only had seven last century. Temperatures today fell as low as minus 4 Celsius (25 Fahrenheit).
Bwhahahaha! I love it!
They'll just blame it on extremeclimate change.And Bush. And that dumb snowbilly hick from Wasilla.
There, I Fify!
As for Porn movie titles: "Gropin' Hag In: Ugly Ass Climate Ho'sArctic Circlejerk"

Posted by: runningrn at December 17, 2009 06:50 PM (vEclT)

179
Steven King's

C O L D

A S

F U C K

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:50 PM (/4E2O)

180 A Chilling Wind, by Stephen King, starring Tim Robbins

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:51 PM (Yv052)

181 Robert Ludlum's The Mephistopheles Toque.

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2009 06:51 PM (my4+7)

182 T H E
F I R E P L A C E

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 06:51 PM (mGSN1)

183 Is Michelle supposed to go to Copenhagen with Barry? It's perfect weather for the Ice Queen.


Sure is, she spent a lot of time on Hoth buck nekkid with naught but a bandoleer.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2009 06:51 PM (l1Wlr)

184 Oh. My. God.

From NRO:
Traficant 2010? It Doesn't Get Any Better Than That. -- By: Jim Geraghty
Jim Geraghty
Today, 2:49 PM
For those of you who have yearned for the return of an endlessly colorful, mildly dangerous -- he once "playfully" smacked a colleague of mine in my wire-service days -- James T. Kirk-quoting, dead-squirrel-hairstyle-wearing Ohio congressman, the long drought may be ending:
Former Rep. James Traficant, who was recently released from prison after serving seven years for corruption, said Thursday that he is "proud of being an ex-con" and may try to return to Congress.

Traficant, a Democrat who was elected to nine terms from Youngstown before he was kicked out of the House, said he will circulate nominating petitions in three House districts. He didn't specify which, but the three districts closest to his hometown are all held by Democrats.

I don't know about you, but I missed him. If I recall correctly, he quickly got tired of trying to remember which members chaired committees and subcommittees and which ones didn't, so he developed the habit of calling every member of Congress "chairman."

**************

Can Trafficant: The Motion Picture be far behind?

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 06:52 PM (QECjC)

185 Stephen King's

I
C A N
S E E
M Y
L A S T
B R E A T H

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:53 PM (Yv052)

186 Steven King's

W I T C H ' S

N I P P L E S

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:53 PM (/4E2O)

187 Trafficant trying for a comeback? Worse. Hair. Than. Blago.

Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 06:53 PM (92zkk)

188 T H E
T H R E A D
T H I E F

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 06:53 PM (mGSN1)

189 Hmmmm.

Or as Gene Wilder said in "The Frisco Kid", "Then he (God) can change his mind just like that!".

Let's face it. The Gore Effect is pretty silly ... but ... it's bloody amusing too.

Posted by: memomachine at December 17, 2009 06:53 PM (/+tPT)

190 Next thing you know, they'll take your advice and hold it in July. But knowing them, it'll be in the Southern Hemisphere.

Posted by: Tetragramm at December 17, 2009 06:53 PM (fdHrO)

191 My brother swore off King's books with Pet Sematary. Freaked him out way too much. I stupidly read a few more since, becoming stupider and stupider with each one. I luckily ceased after the one with the red fungus, aliens, bathroom traumas etc. I think I stopped in time to salvage a triple digit IQ, but maybe others would disagree. I stick to non-fiction now; it's way more unbelievable anyway.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at December 17, 2009 06:54 PM (ndlFj)

192 The return of Trafficant? Awesome! Since we are on the subject of cosmic jokes and all.

Can't wait to see him interacting with Granny Botox. That will be some solid fucking comedy gold...

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at December 17, 2009 06:54 PM (pLTLS)

193 And presenting, an Ice-Capade Production Presentation of....

Steven King's

PARKAS ON PARADE!

Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 06:55 PM (92zkk)

194
C Y C L E
O F
T H E
H A N D W A R M E R S

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 06:55 PM (mGSN1)

195 Ice Blasters 7: Mike's Freak-of-Nature Trick

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2009 06:55 PM (l1Wlr)

196 THE NAKED HELLEN THOMAS

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 06:55 PM (QECjC)

197
Steven King's

J O H N N Y

L O N G

J O H N S

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:55 PM (/4E2O)

198 Stephen King's:

S H R I N K A G E

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 06:57 PM (Yv052)

199 heh heh heh

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:57 PM (/4E2O)

200 Steven King's
T H E W I T C H ' S T I T

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 06:58 PM (t19oz)

201 Stephen King's

THE SHINING
PATCH OF ICE
ON THE SIDEWALK

/slip/boom

Posted by: Golem14 at December 17, 2009 06:59 PM (2X8VA)

202
Steven King's

M A X I M U M

T H E R A - F L U

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:59 PM (/4E2O)

203 You guys are funny

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 07:00 PM (mGSN1)

204 Steve King's
S O F T S E R V E D I C E C R E A M

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:01 PM (t19oz)

205 T H E T O M M Y C O C K E R S

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 17, 2009 07:02 PM (C3QGp)

206 Stephen King's

D E A D
B A T T E R Y

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2009 07:04 PM (my4+7)

207 Stephen King's

F R O Z E N
D A N G L I N G
C H A D

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 07:05 PM (Yv052)

208 Steven King's

THE ICEMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 07:05 PM (QECjC)

209 Stephen King's

SNOWBALLIN'

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2009 07:05 PM (l1Wlr)

210 Stephen King's

SALEM'S LOT
NEEDS PLOWING

Posted by: Golem14 at December 17, 2009 07:06 PM (2X8VA)

211 Dihydrogen Monoxide


Oxidane would be more correct. Oxidane and Water are the two official names IUPAC gives to the substance H2O. SO if your gonna be a big brain do it right.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at December 17, 2009 07:06 PM (0q2P7)

212 Stephen King's

I C I C L E C A T C H E R

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2009 07:06 PM (my4+7)

213 So why do these conferences always seem to happen during Yuletide?
That's a rhetorical question, right?Because AGW is these people's religion!

Posted by: runningrn at December 17, 2009 07:07 PM (vEclT)

214 S N O W A N G E L S :
W I N T E R ' S
S I L E N T
K I L L E R S

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 07:07 PM (mGSN1)

215 Stephen King's

THE ICE CREAM MAN COMETH

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2009 07:07 PM (l1Wlr)

216 Steven King's

D I S C O U N T

I R R E G U L A R

O U T E R W E A R

E M P O R I U M

"For God's Sake -- GO TO WALMART!!!"

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:07 PM (/4E2O)

217 I love it when God reveals himself to those who're paying attention. It's kinda awesome, actually.

Posted by: Average Jen at December 17, 2009 07:07 PM (2dZ+6)

218 Steven King's
I C I C L E S O F M O D E R A T E A N X I E T Y

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:09 PM (t19oz)

219
Stephen King's

SOMETHING FRIGID THIS WAY CUMS

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2009 07:09 PM (l1Wlr)

220 Former Rep. James Traficant, who was recently released from prison after serving seven years for corruption, said Thursday that he is "proud of being an ex-con" and may try to return to Congress.
Well, why the heck not?Most of those people should be in jail already (Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Roland Burris, Charlie Rangel, John Murtha, etc.) He'll fit right in.

Posted by: runningrn at December 17, 2009 07:10 PM (vEclT)

221 The reason they schedule this things in the winter is so when it does snow, they can blame it on the fact that it is winter. If they scheduled it in July and it still snowed, the only logical conclusion would be that God is pissed. It's all about plausible deniability.

Posted by: Jeff M at December 17, 2009 07:10 PM (8P3+x)

222 140 I believe the term "torso killer" (I don't really know) means a killer who strikes off the limbs and leaves just a torso. There have been serial killers called like "The Cayuhenga County Torso Murderer."
Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 06:31 PM (/4E2O)
Ace,
It's Cuyahoga County. (Cleveland) The "torso murders", committed between Sept. 1935 and Aug. 1938, were believed to be serial killings. Most of the bodies were discovered in or near theKingsburyRunarea--a creek bed that ran from E. 90th St. and Kinsman Rd. SE to the Cuyahoga River.

Posted by: SFC MAC at December 17, 2009 07:10 PM (cuNX0)

223 Dean Koont's

D O N O T
L I C K
T H E
F L A G P O L E

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 07:10 PM (mGSN1)

224 Clive Barker collection of short stories...

S N O W B A L L S

I N

H E L L

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:10 PM (/4E2O)

225
The Icescrapeoliers


Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:10 PM (ewicX)

226
Stephen King's

RIME-JOB RANGERS

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2009 07:11 PM (l1Wlr)

227
The Return of the Mummy Sleeping Bag

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:11 PM (ewicX)

228 Stephen King's

T H E

F R O S T E D

U G G

B O O T S

Posted by: Herr Blücher at December 17, 2009 07:11 PM (brEwv)

229 Steven King's "The Storm Of The Century"--heh!

Posted by: runningrn at December 17, 2009 07:12 PM (vEclT)

230
Only Children Believe In Snow Angels

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:12 PM (ewicX)

231 So why do these conferences always seem to happen during Yuletide?
When it makes so much more sense -- and there is less a chance of blizzardry embarrassment -- to schedule them in the summer?
Or at leasthold 'em in the Southern Hemisphere. Though I heard it snowed in Melbourne a few days ago -- and it's their June there now.

Posted by: A-Gore at December 17, 2009 07:12 PM (SgSfB)

232
Robert Ludlum's

T H E

H O L C R O F T

T I M E - S H A R E

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:12 PM (/4E2O)

233
Stephen King's :

T H E I C E S K A T E S

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 07:13 PM (mGSN1)

234 Steven King's

SNOWED-IN CABIN OF COEDS BEING STOCKED BY A PSYCHO BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT THE PSYCHO IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THEM AND SHE'S A LESBIAN TOO

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:13 PM (t19oz)

235 Steven King's "Children of The Snow Porn"
"The Lawn Browner"

Posted by: runningrn at December 17, 2009 07:13 PM (vEclT)

236
Stephen King's

BRAIN FREEZE

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:13 PM (ewicX)

237 Clive Barker's
T H E R E F R I G E R A T I ON G A M E

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:14 PM (t19oz)

238 Stephen King's

CLIT



booyah.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff's broad brush at December 17, 2009 07:15 PM (xGIqT)

239 Stephen King and Ron Jeremy present:

H O L L Y ' S
B O U G H S

and

F A - L A - L A - L A - L A - L A
F A L A C I O

T H E
M I S S I L E
T O E

and

U N D E R
T H E
C A M E L T O E

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 07:15 PM (Yv052)

240
SNO-CONAN THE BARBARIAN

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:15 PM (ewicX)

241 on my Ludlum one I was thinking a ski time-share.

Um, that one might not have landed.

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:15 PM (/4E2O)

242
Dean Koontz's :

S A T A N ' S S L E I G H II :
K R I N G L E ' S R E V E N G E

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 07:16 PM (mGSN1)

243 SALEM'S HOT
FIRESTARTER--THE SUN

Posted by: runningrn at December 17, 2009 07:16 PM (vEclT)

244
Steven King's

S N O W

C H A I N S

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:16 PM (/4E2O)

245
Dan Brown's

The Anti-Freeze

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:16 PM (ewicX)

246 That was legit, ace.

Although I was thinking along the lines of

THE HOLCROFT DEED-RESTRICTION

ya know, covenant-deed restriction - see what I did there?


Oh, fuck off.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff's at December 17, 2009 07:18 PM (xGIqT)

247 Oh okay, here's one.

FOX NEWS CABLE SENSATION BILL O'REILLY'S

RE-ISSUED EROTIC THRILLER

Bill O'Reilly's

A

B O L D

F R E S H

P I E C E

O F

A S S


What that has to do with the cold I have no idea.

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:18 PM (/4E2O)

248
THE CHINOOK SYNDROME

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:19 PM (ewicX)

249 Hey, how are people getting multiple spaces in between words? I can never get that. I only get one frickin' space.

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:20 PM (/4E2O)

250 "SCAREY"
The premise, a creepy young man, Al Gore is terrorized by his classmates and his mother (but mostly by his mother). He finally gets invited to the prom where he is crowned Prom King. Hillarity ensues when pranksters crank up the furnace in the boiler room just as Al is being crowned king. Sweating like a man bear pig, the football team mistakenly dumps a cooler of red Gatorade on our young hero's head.

Posted by: runningrn at December 17, 2009 07:20 PM (vEclT)

251 Steven Seagal is...

ICEFUCKED BY JUSTICE

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 17, 2009 07:20 PM (xGIqT)

252
William Shatner's

CARBON WARS

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:21 PM (ewicX)

253 T H E
I C E M A C H I N E
R A C E R

A novella, by Stephen King and Sarah Palin

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 07:21 PM (Yv052)

254 E.A. Poe's
T H E C O O L E R O F A M O N T I L L A D O

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:21 PM (t19oz)

255
HOTH WHORES 12

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:22 PM (ewicX)

256
John Carpenter's :

E S C A P E
F R O M
B U F F A L O

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 07:22 PM (mGSN1)

257 Ice Cream Headache
Starring Ron Jeremy and a bowl of mint chocolate chip

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2009 07:22 PM (wAQA5)

258 Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:20 PM (/4E2O)
Ace, it's magic. Unfortunately, only a few gifted morons posses that ability. I am not one of them even though I tried to follow instructions given to me by one of the Jedi Space morons when I was trying to type an ee. cummings type poem for one of our moron poetry slams. I feel so inadequate.

Posted by: runningrn at December 17, 2009 07:22 PM (vEclT)

259
Tantric Tauntaun

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:22 PM (ewicX)

260 Within Temptation - Ice Queen (Official Video)

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 07:23 PM (dQdrY)

261 Ice T and Ice Cube team up as hip urban detectives tracking the "Fat-Assed Yeti Killer" through the cold wilderness of British Columbia.

Ice T and Ice Cube are...

2 CHILL



Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:23 PM (/4E2O)

262 In Sarah Palin's second book, she presents:
I
C A N
S E E
A
F R O Z E N
H E L L
F R O M
M Y
H O U S E

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2009 07:24 PM (Yv052)

263
John Carpenter's :

B I G
T R O U B L E
I N M Y
F R E E Z E R

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 07:24 PM (mGSN1)

264
James Bond in...

On Her Majesty's Cervix


Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:24 PM (ewicX)

265 AL GORE AND THE AMAZING IRONY-PROOF DREAMCOAT

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 17, 2009 07:24 PM (xGIqT)

266 Steven Seagall is...

U N D E R

T H E

W E A T H E R

He slurps chicken soup. He kicks Yeti ass.

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:25 PM (/4E2O)

267 Stephen King


T H E
S N O W B A L L S
R E V E N G E

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at December 17, 2009 07:26 PM (0q2P7)

268 Anne Rice's
I N T E R V I E W W I T H A V A P O R - C O M P R E S S O R

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:26 PM (t19oz)

269 This NUCLEAR WINTER is just inconceivable!

Posted by: ROUS at December 17, 2009 07:26 PM (eA3tl)

270
Rankin Bass's

Revenge of the Heat Miser

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:26 PM (ewicX)

271
Steven King's

D E M O N

' R H O I D S

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:26 PM (/4E2O)

272 Sylvester Stallone in:

F I R S T
S N O W

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2009 07:26 PM (my4+7)

273 Hey, how are people getting multiple spaces in between words? I can never get that. I only get one frickin' space.


Three Words Notepad Copy Paste

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at December 17, 2009 07:27 PM (0q2P7)

274 Mann Love: Hockey Sticks of the Apocalypse.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 07:28 PM (dQdrY)

275 a single word or short phrase that is equivalent to the "teabagger" moniker.
I'm notdepraved enough to know any, sorry. I've had a real education lately what with the tea parties and fist-gate.

Posted by: Starboardhelm at December 17, 2009 07:29 PM (SgSfB)

276 Jane Fonda shivers in....

THE ALGORE SYNDROME

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 07:29 PM (QECjC)

277 Dan Brown's
I SUCK AND YES, I DID RIP OFF 'THE HOLY GRAIL AND THE HOLY BLOOD'

(sorry got carried away there)

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:29 PM (t19oz)

278
Judd Apatow Presents :

T H E
I C E
G E E K S

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 07:29 PM (mGSN1)

279
Silence of the Lambskin Condoms

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:30 PM (ewicX)

280
The Falcon the Snowman

what?

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:31 PM (ewicX)

281 Joseph Heller's

CATCH 22 BELOW ZERO

Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 07:31 PM (92zkk)

282 Dean Knootz

T H E

L O N G

H A R D

F R E E Z E

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at December 17, 2009 07:31 PM (0q2P7)

283 Where Ice Backs Dare.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 07:32 PM (dQdrY)

284 Fox Searchlight Presents...

A world of exploration...

a World of astonishment...

a World of Danger...

Trek through the last great frontier on Earth...

This winter, Fox Searchlight invites you...

to join the Amundsen/Scott expedition as they explore Antarctica...

Peter Saarsgard...

and...

Jude Law...

Star in...

SHIT MY DICK'S

FROZEN

TO MY BALLS AGAIN

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:32 PM (/4E2O)

285
Mariah Carey in...


Clitter

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:33 PM (ewicX)

286 Fahrenheit -451, in search of receded testicles.

Posted by: a sin da cold at December 17, 2009 07:34 PM (eA3tl)

287
Judd Apatow Presents :

S O M E O N E
S T O P M E
F R O M M A K I N G
A N Y M O R E M O V I E S

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 07:34 PM (mGSN1)

288 AN ICICLE IN PARIS

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 07:34 PM (DIYmd)

289 Elin Woods'

THE COLD SHOULDER

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 17, 2009 07:35 PM (xGIqT)

290 Valkyrie's Vengence: The SnowCheetah Chronicles.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 07:35 PM (dQdrY)

291 Merry CHRISTmas

Posted by: the slob at December 17, 2009 07:35 PM (i1+rx)

292 John Kennedy Toole's

A C O N F E D E R A C Y
O F S C I E N T I S T S

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:35 PM (t19oz)

293 Actually, the dating of Christmas has more to do with the Jews than the pagans. Jewish tradition back in the first century held that you died on the same date as you were either born or conceived; since the apostles knew when Jesus died, or at least the earliest it could have occurred on the calendar, they just counted back around 9 months for his birth.
Death (and thus conception) on March 25, thus birth on Dec. 25. The winter solstice feast wasn't a big thing with the pagans until centuries later.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate's wife at December 17, 2009 07:36 PM (NfBdl)

294 Thomas Pynchon's

GRAVITY'S BRAINFREEZE

Posted by: Golem14 at December 17, 2009 07:36 PM (2X8VA)

295 ATLAS FROZE by Ayn Rand

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 07:37 PM (DIYmd)

296 Stephen King's

H E L L T U R K E Y

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2009 07:37 PM (my4+7)

297 Those with ears, let them hear. Those with eyes, let them see.

Posted by: Dianne at December 17, 2009 07:39 PM (FcncT)

298 THE LORD OF THE TREE RINGS by J.R.R. Tolkien

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 07:40 PM (DIYmd)

299 Hey, how are people getting multiple spaces in between words? I can never get that. I only get one frickin' space.


Ace's mad HTML skilz.....yub, yub.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2009 07:40 PM (l1Wlr)

300
Stephen King Presents :

T H E G L A C I E R

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 17, 2009 07:42 PM (mGSN1)

301 I think it's fascinating that two of the most influential bloggers on the right are not theists. Really doesn't fit the narrative.

Posted by: motionview at December 17, 2009 07:42 PM (Zpy2G)

302
Dean Koontz

F R E S H

P O W D E R

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:43 PM (/4E2O)

303 CATCH-22 BELOW by Joseph Heller

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 07:43 PM (DIYmd)

304 The Perfect Gorm.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 07:43 PM (dQdrY)

305 I have ice sickles on my bicycles.

Posted by: a sin da cold at December 17, 2009 07:44 PM (eA3tl)

306
TO SIR, WITH GLOVES

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:44 PM (ewicX)

307 Francis Ford Goregola's

APACKOFLIES NOW

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 07:44 PM (QECjC)

308
THE SLEETING

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:45 PM (ewicX)

309 NINE AND A HALF DEGREES

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 07:46 PM (QECjC)

310 If you morons pay me enough I'll promise to pay that graphic artist / pie chart guy to hook us up with the visuals .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 07:46 PM (vKdhq)

311 Fox SearchLight Invites you...

to the new film by acclaimed director Ang Lee...

John C. Reilly stars...

as Vice President Al Gore...

In...

T H E

I C E

R E T A R D

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:46 PM (/4E2O)

312 Porkenhagen: Ball-tic Bitches.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 07:46 PM (dQdrY)

313 THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE FROZEN TUNDRA by Douglas Adams

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 07:47 PM (DIYmd)

314 Sean Connery gets the...

COLDFINGER

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 07:48 PM (QECjC)

315 William Faulkner's immortal classic.....

AS

I

LAY

FREEZING

Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 07:48 PM (92zkk)

316 Rachel Carson's

FROZEN SPRING

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 07:49 PM (QECjC)

317
Robert Deniro in...

THE DATA HUNTER

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:49 PM (ewicX)

318 Edward Gibbon's

THE HISTORY OF THE
DECLINE AND FALL OF
THE REAL MEN OF SCIENCE

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:50 PM (t19oz)

319 I, COLDIUS by Robert Graves

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 07:50 PM (DIYmd)

320
Jack Lemon Tony Curtis in...

SOME DON'T LIKE IT HOT

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:50 PM (ewicX)

321 Penguins vs Polar Bears at the Equator.

Posted by: a sin da cold at December 17, 2009 07:51 PM (eA3tl)

322 J D Salinger's ever popular....

CATCHER
IN
THE
ICE

Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 07:51 PM (92zkk)

323 Ernest Hemingway's

THE OLD MAN AND THE FROZEN SEA

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 07:52 PM (QECjC)

324 Oscar Wildes's

THE IMPORTANCE OF SEEMING EARNEST

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 07:53 PM (QECjC)

325 "Ernest Hemingway's





THE OLD MAN AND THE FROZEN SEA"

Yummm.....fish sticks already frozen!

Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 07:53 PM (92zkk)

326 Harriett Beecher Stowe's

Uncle Tom's Igloo

Posted by: a sin da cold at December 17, 2009 07:53 PM (eA3tl)

327 I see what you guys have been up to while I was eating dinner. Friggin hilarious.

STEVEN KING'S
THE GREENHOUSE GASES OF FROZEN DOOM

Posted by: the real joe at December 17, 2009 07:53 PM (SUYSs)

328 A FAREWELL TO ARMS (Hypothermia Edition) by Ernest Hemingway

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 07:54 PM (DIYmd)

329 Steven King's

BETWEEN

THE

PANES

You'll never look through another window.

Posted by: bonhomme at December 17, 2009 07:54 PM (6CVm+)

330 James M. Cain's
THE SNOWMAN ALWAYS BRINGS ICE

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:54 PM (t19oz)

331
Mary Shelley's...THE LAST POLAR BEAR

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 07:54 PM (ewicX)

332
Michael Crichton's

C E L S I U S

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:55 PM (/4E2O)

333 TO SIR, WITH GLOVES
Ha! I lol'd!

Posted by: runningrn at December 17, 2009 07:55 PM (vEclT)

334 Adolf Hitler's

MEIN KOLTEN KAMPF

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 17, 2009 07:56 PM (QECjC)

335 Fear and Loathing in Ice Vegas .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 07:57 PM (vKdhq)

336 In his newly discovered and most pertinent work, Thomas Jefferson's fourth volume:

STUFF
JEFFERSON
SAID
(ABOUT
THE
FREAKIN'
COLD)

Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 07:57 PM (92zkk)

337 THE SANTA VERSES by Salman Rushdie

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 07:57 PM (DIYmd)

338 Gustave Flaubert's
Madam Snowvary.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 07:58 PM (dQdrY)

339 Patrick J. Michaels Robert Balling
The Satanic Gases

Real book about the history of the AGW movement.

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 07:58 PM (t19oz)

340 Scandi Superstar Peter Saarsgaard Stars...

as Homicide detective First Class Bjorn Lorveqvist...

trying to stop Ice Killer Al Gore before he kills again...

From Copenhagen...

to Stockholm...

To the capital of... the other one....

to the icy mountains of Scandanavia...

Peter Saarsgard is....

T H E

F J O R D

H U M P E R

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 07:59 PM (/4E2O)

341
A TREE DIES IN BROOKLYN

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 08:00 PM (ewicX)

342 SOPHIE'S CHOICE, PARKA OR WOOL COAT by William Styron

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 08:01 PM (DIYmd)

343 Stephen King's

T H E

S N O W B L O W E R

M A N

Posted by: Herr Blücher at December 17, 2009 08:02 PM (brEwv)

344 On the same theme ,

Where the Buffalo Fucking Freeze .

Starring Bill Furry .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 08:02 PM (vKdhq)

345 Of disputed authorship, presenting.....

I
CH-CH-CH-CHING

Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 08:03 PM (92zkk)

346 Raymond Chandler's

T H E B I G S L E E T

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 08:03 PM (t19oz)

347 Re. Ace's philosophical update:
So if Al Gore weighs the same as a duck and shits AGW into your ear, it proves Gaia exists?

Posted by: andycanuck at December 17, 2009 08:05 PM (2qU2d)

348 Flannery O'Connor's
A GOOD MANN IS HARD TO DECLINE

Posted by: Iskandar at December 17, 2009 08:07 PM (t19oz)

349
Remake of the Shining: A blizzard in Western Tennessee traps Al and Tipper inside their mansion (which is nearly the size of the hotel in the original movie). Al finally goes bonkers from the Gore Effect and begins tormenting Tipper by screaming obscene lyrics from '80's rap songs at her. Super scary scene: Al slowly climbs the stairs brandishing a hockey stick at Tipper; however, she manages to escape because he has to stop to catch his breath. Instead of "Heeeeeere's Johnny!" Al yells "Hey, hey, hey it's Faaaaaaaaat Albert!!" as he tries unsuccessful to break down the door. Final shot: Al chases Tipper outside in the midst of a fierce snowstorm, shouting "It's WARMING, WARMING, I'm telling you!" As he collapses in the snow, we hear him mutter his last words, "Dubya, you bastard. I won the popular vote. Fuck the Supreme Court."
PS. While Tipper manages to escape, Al does manage to beat David Boies to death with the hockey stick (Boies skids and falls because he's wearing tennis shoes.) I have no idea what Boies would be doing there, buthis death at the hands of Gore would be a surefire crowd pleaser.

Posted by: Donna V. at December 17, 2009 08:07 PM (CZfp5)

350 The Fifth Noble Element: Xenon the Pacifist

Posted by: bonhomme at December 17, 2009 08:08 PM (6CVm+)

351 THE HANDMAID'S TAIL IS COLD by Margaret Atwood

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 08:08 PM (DIYmd)

352
Arthur Hailey's...

SNOWTEL

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 08:09 PM (ewicX)

353 Hey, I've got an idea. Let's turn off the A/C and then the meeting hall will get sweltering hot.

What? It worked once. I'm a freaking sciency-ist for cripes sake. It'll work.

Posted by: James Hansen at December 17, 2009 08:09 PM (RykTt)

354
Erich Maria Remarque's...

ALL QUIET ON THE COLD FRONT

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 08:10 PM (ewicX)

355 Hemingway's "A FAREWELLTO TOES"

Posted by: dfbaskwill at December 17, 2009 08:11 PM (ndlFj)

356 When it makes so much more sense -- and there is less a chance of blizzardry embarrassment -- to schedule them in the summer?
It also shows how fucked up the UN is, Ace. Just like trying to put 45,000 delegates in a room sized for 15,000, they don't have enough brains in pushing their AGW lie to schedule their meetings either in summer in the Northern Hemisphere or in (the North's) winter in the Southern Hemisphere's summerso that it'll be held under the hottest-probable weather conditions. So if they were holding it now in the Southern Hempisphere with it coinciding with the more-industrialized North's winter, they'd get delegates on the beach relaxing instead of lining up to get into a room during snowfall and in freezing temperatures.
They can't even think up that simple scheduling to promote their lies, but they think they can run the world.
Assholes.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 17, 2009 08:12 PM (2qU2d)

357
Instead of "Heeeeeere's Johnny!" Al yells "Hey, hey, hey it's Faaaaaaaaat Albert!!"

heheheheh

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 08:12 PM (ewicX)

358
Ken Follett's

W I N D

C H I L L

F A C T O R

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 08:13 PM (/4E2O)

359 THE SUN ALSO FREEZES by Ernest Hemingway

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 08:14 PM (DIYmd)

360 "Hemingway's "A FAREWELLTO TOES"

I truly L'dOL at this one. Heh heh heh.....


Posted by: Intrepid at December 17, 2009 08:20 PM (92zkk)

361 Mann Love 2: Taboo Temps.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 08:21 PM (dQdrY)

362 Mann Love 3: Briffa's Wood

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 08:23 PM (dQdrY)

363
Algore in William Shakespeare's...

THE MERCHANT OF CARBON

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 08:26 PM (ewicX)

364 Sun Tzu - The art of Gore

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 17, 2009 08:29 PM (CDBJ9)

365 The Blizzard of Ahhhs:
Dorthy Does Denmark.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 17, 2009 08:29 PM (dQdrY)

366 Richard Feinman - Surely You're Joking Mr. Gore

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 17, 2009 08:30 PM (CDBJ9)

367 Ed Abbey - The Climate Wrench Gang.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 17, 2009 08:31 PM (CDBJ9)

368 James Angleton - Wilderness of Snowstorms

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 17, 2009 08:33 PM (CDBJ9)

369 The real puzzler is why they think 4 inches is a blizzard. Di'n't grow up in the Midwest US, did they? (OK, or the Northeast or Northwest.) 60 below wind chill came several times a winter and LOTSA snow in between. Yearrgh!

Posted by: midwest snowbabe at December 17, 2009 08:39 PM (b0sdZ)

370 Debbie Does Copenhagen.

Posted by: Che Pizza at December 17, 2009 08:40 PM (4iIhs)

371 A Glacier Runs Through It .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 08:43 PM (vKdhq)

372 Coming in January "THE WELL DIGGERS ASS"
followed by the porn version "THE WELL DIGGERS ASS" starring Jenna Jamison.

Posted by: hobbes at December 17, 2009 08:46 PM (WiOnI)

373 This one makes no sense and has no relation to anything.

ACCLAIMED
BEST-SELLING
AUTHOR
JOHN UPDIKE'S

P O O N

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 08:48 PM (/4E2O)

374 I love this place.

Posted by: baldilocks at December 17, 2009 08:52 PM (QkG/C)

375
Sunny Spots in...

Fat Hot MILFs Who Live Two Kilometers Beneath The Earth's Crust Where It Is Several Million Degrees

co-starring Naomi Wolfe

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 17, 2009 08:53 PM (bLZ8Q)

376 DIRK PITT RETURNS

in
Clive Cussler's

L O S T
T R E A S U R E
O F T H E
E S K I M O

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2009 08:55 PM (my4+7)

377 The Shivering of the Lambs

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 08:55 PM (vKdhq)

378
Tom Clancy's...

THE SURFACE OF THE SUN

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 17, 2009 08:56 PM (bLZ8Q)

379 CO2EDs in Cootchenhagen

------

As you probably know, I do not believe in God (nor disbelieve, particularly), as His existence cannot be proven.

That's why its called faith.

The Gore Effect isn't proof of God. It's proof He is a conservative and has a great sense of humor.

Posted by: A.G. at December 17, 2009 08:56 PM (jBPzC)

380 The virgin Gaia?
Not after Henry Clay Frick and Dick Cheney hve paid a visit.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at December 17, 2009 08:57 PM (TUWci)

381
RAIDERS OF THE LOST PARKA

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 17, 2009 08:57 PM (bLZ8Q)

382 OMG, O'Really just showed a clip of Fat Al reading his poetry to Harry Smith, you really need to get that clip to update this post Ace. Actually it is so ridiculously funny and stupid at the same time, it deserves its own post.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 08:59 PM (DIYmd)

383 Mary Higgins Clark's suspenseful new bestseller:

W H E N T H E
S N O W
S Q U E A K S

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2009 08:59 PM (my4+7)

384 Tom Clancy's ....


A Clear and Present Coldfront

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 09:02 PM (vKdhq)

385 Ok, I gotta one-up myself here....
Coming in January "THE WELL DIGGERS ASS" Starring John Goodman
followed by the porn version "DIGGER ASS WELL" Starring Jenna Jamison

Posted by: hobbes at December 17, 2009 09:02 PM (WiOnI)

386
James Micheners' epic novel...

HAWAII:

Under

Water

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 17, 2009 09:03 PM (bLZ8Q)

387 Maybe its because they don't want a snow storm in Mexico during the summer?

Posted by: timothyJ at December 17, 2009 09:04 PM (IKKIf)

388 THE SNOWBALLS OF WRATH by John Steinbeck

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 17, 2009 09:04 PM (DIYmd)

389
Tom Hanks in...

Rainforest Gump

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 09:05 PM (bLZ8Q)

390 re: 386

the riveting follow-up to Snow Storm Rising

Posted by: A.G. at December 17, 2009 09:06 PM (jBPzC)

391 I recall them having one AGW summit somewhere in the equatorial Pacific region. I remember laughing about it, thinking that they figured they wouldn't get snowed on there.

Posted by: A.G. at December 17, 2009 09:08 PM (jBPzC)

392 Who Froze Roger Rabbit

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 09:09 PM (vKdhq)

393 Why Do They Keep Tempting Fate and Scheduling These Confabs Around Christmas?

Realising thisI foresee the warmist brains trust deciding to next time schedule the conference for July. The only problem will be that they will choose somewhere in the southern hemisphere for the meeting.

Posted by: Hellrider at December 17, 2009 09:10 PM (TbLpq)

394
CAT ON A HOT TI...

aww fuck it

Posted by: Posted by at December 17, 2009 09:10 PM (bLZ8Q)

395 @396

Tongue on a Freezing Cold Monkey Bar

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 09:13 PM (vKdhq)

396 It isn't Christmas they're celebrating but the solstice.

The shortest day of the year, after which the light returns, the wheel starts over, a NEW BEGINNING of ...one world government, by the RIGHT people.

Be afraid.

Very.

lol

Posted by: barbarausa at December 17, 2009 09:14 PM (gRgC6)

397 Okay, that whole post made me happy.

Posted by: Rocks at December 17, 2009 09:14 PM (vxQot)

398 Edgar Award Winning

Master Crime Writer

Elmore Leonard

Introduces his new thriller:

Elmore Leonard's

O N E

C H E E K

S N E A K

Posted by: ace at December 17, 2009 09:15 PM (/4E2O)

399 Mel Brooks Presents

The History of Mann , 380 Parts Per One

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 09:23 PM (vKdhq)

400 "The Lord works in hilarious ways." Trying ta tell us sumfin there, "Ace" ?

Posted by: Alear at December 17, 2009 09:25 PM (tmLi3)

401 There was supposed to be a million , in there somewhere ........

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2009 09:33 PM (vKdhq)

402 If you're correct (there is no God) then no harm, no foul for both of us. But if I'm right (and God exists), you, sir, are in BIG trouble. Either way, you are insignificant, because you may never understand those things unseen.

Posted by: JustMe at December 17, 2009 09:41 PM (y+mmO)

403 Steven Segal takes his stand ... On Frozen Ground

Posted by: toby928 at December 17, 2009 10:28 PM (PD1tk)

404 The Scamming

Posted by: toby928 at December 17, 2009 10:29 PM (PD1tk)

405 How is it possible?
All those centuries ago... IT WAS FORETOLD! The Romans knew!

Posted by: SoupOrMan at December 17, 2009 10:33 PM (hzLKU)

406 Song: "Icicles of Versailles"

Posted by: Pelayo at December 17, 2009 10:35 PM (8NGHm)

407 Arnold Schwarzenegger in:

The Iceman Cummeth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58D2SBBseNs

Posted by: bigfatty at December 17, 2009 10:35 PM (rC3cP)

408 "On Frozen Pond"
"Horatio Snowblower"

Posted by: Pelayo at December 17, 2009 10:37 PM (8NGHm)

409 Steven Segal in ... Climate Justice

Posted by: toby928 at December 17, 2009 10:37 PM (PD1tk)

410 Ian Fleming- Frozenball
Ian Fleming- Live and Let Freeze
Ian Fleming- Coldfinger
Ian Fleming- License to Chill
Ian Fleming- The Man with the Frozen Pun

Posted by: Holger at December 17, 2009 10:48 PM (8NGHm)

411 Thawing Private Ryan
The Coldest Day with John Wayne and a Cast of Thousands

Posted by: Holger at December 17, 2009 10:51 PM (8NGHm)

412 The Good, the Bad and the Frostbitten staring Saint Beastwood

Posted by: Holger at December 17, 2009 10:56 PM (8NGHm)

413 They Died With TheirSnowshoes On staring Errol Flynn.

Posted by: Holger at December 17, 2009 11:01 PM (8NGHm)

414 Gee i hope the GREENPEACE wussietar ddidnt get their little green tooties frostbitten

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at December 17, 2009 11:28 PM (fdeME)

415 The fact they used their own data to "fix "
the location for the conference...
says' it all.
It's the warmest place on the planet.
next to edmonton.(Canada)
Which is the closest city next to the
TAR SANDS

Posted by: ice queen/sudbury at December 17, 2009 11:36 PM (FD2Ex)

416 You're in fine form today, Ace.

Posted by: Mike at December 17, 2009 11:47 PM (cG82+)

417 The Copenhagen Carbon Caper with Al Gore in the role of Lefty O'Toole.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 18, 2009 12:05 AM (2qU2d)

418 Snow Miser...Heat Miser...Snow Miser!

Posted by: unknown jane, at December 18, 2009 12:11 AM (5/yRG)

419 Uh, since Rush does not disbelieve in God, and he mentioned this very topic today, does that ultra/super/mega your point?

Or would Gagdad Bod think differently?

Echo much?

Posted by: easyliving1 at December 18, 2009 12:33 AM (Rke0W)

420 Where do you get Rush does not believe in God?

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 18, 2009 01:10 AM (dQdrY)

421
They say it will only cost the US about $100 billion ...
The madness is now official:
US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Brazilian President Inacio Lula da Silva were all seen as the talks got underway shortly after 11pm in Copenhagen.
Among industrialised countries, the participants were Norway, Russia, Spain, Britain, the US, Denmark, Australia, Germany, France, Sweden and Japan.
Representing small island states were the Maldives and Grenada, with Sudan, Algeria, Ethiopia and Lesotho from Africa. Sudan is also the leader of the G77 group of 130 developed countries, Algeria heads the Africa Group, and Lesotho leads the bloc of Least Developed Countries.”

Posted by: Neo at December 18, 2009 01:26 AM (tE8FB)

422 Since you referenced the Hittchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in the original post....you can say that Gore is more like the Rain God (in the 4th book)...the guy who it rains on constantly.

Or the Snow Miser from that Christmas show.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at December 18, 2009 03:01 AM (W7qA3)

423 424
Since you referenced the Hittchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in the
original post....you can say that Gore is more like the Rain God (in
the 4th book)...the guy who it rains on constantly. Or the Snow Miser
from that Christmas show.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet

I was thinking white mice, number 42, the hyper-improbability of Awl Bore being correct.

Posted by: a sin da cold at December 18, 2009 06:18 AM (eA3tl)

424 Okay, it's a dead thread, and odds are pretty good that it's been mentioned somewhere in the 426 previous posts, but I gotta bring up the other flaw in Pascal's wager, as illustrated by Terry Pratchett: After his fictional Pascal analog dies, he finds himself surrounded by the gods, all wielding scary looking lead pipes and other implements of greivous bodily harm. Andone spake, saying "Okay, lets show Mister Clever Togs here what we think of smart asses."
Pascal's wager assumes a mechanistic and discrete judgement on the part of God, based solely on whether someone acted as if he believed, rather than taking into account the motivations behind the act.
I can feel myself starting to build up steam for the topic, but... eh, dead thread.

Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at December 18, 2009 08:56 AM (pZEar)

425 I know Steven King's got a new book coming out about a snowman
magically animated to life who then goes on a torso-killing spree.

Frosty the Mass Murder?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at December 18, 2009 08:58 AM (1hM1d)

426 The Icehole Rangers

Posted by: lowfibass at December 18, 2009 10:42 AM (T1ZAZ)

427 The miser brothers are pulling a big one on the copenhegan wackos

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at December 18, 2009 12:48 PM (zZ0rW)

428 Ace, with all due respect to that more poetically talented Gore, Martin, I don't think that God has a sick sense of humor, but I do think that He appreciatesa certain dark puckishness now and then.

Posted by: Rich Fader at December 18, 2009 01:16 PM (lgYLR)

429 Dude, if a Divine Blizzard plus a little C. S. Lewis can't convince you, you're goin' to Hell for sure. And that's a damn shame.

Posted by: J. Moses Browning at December 18, 2009 03:47 PM (3G4di)

430


"carbon-throbbing vehicle"

wow. ...just, wow.

Posted by: Faye Kinnit at December 18, 2009 11:39 PM (l1oyw)

431 best netbook/discount lcd tv/cheap online shopping/hot holiday toys/discount electronic stores/best selling toys/department stores online/deluxescan/

inwdigg/

Posted by: google at February 16, 2010 02:05 AM (+QoGN)

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